Celebrity Craziness Matrix

celebrity has it’s seamy side

If Wondertrash has a message to impart it’s “Celebrity – don’t let it happen to you!” In many way celebrities are just like the rest of us: they struggle with the same issues, are driven by the same motivations, and are plagued by the same insecurities. They just do it on a larger scale and in front of a global audience. Hence the saying that fame is like wearing your underwear on the outside! It’s basically turning your life into a reality TV show.

ordinarily different & just a little bit special

In some ways thought, & bless their little hearts, celebrities can be a little bit different. They have the quirks, or eccentricities if you will, that make them stand apart from the ordinary bread of men & women comprised of those of us with enough common sense to avoid attracting too much attention. Anyone who will pose nude for Playboy while pregnant, send their kid up in a home made hot air balloon, of get 8 or 9 live embryos implanted into their uterus just for attention, plus the fame & fortune that can come with it, have got to be a little crazy.

celebrity in the matrix

 

Well now that Celebrity Craziness Factor has finally been organized. The good people over @ Jest have set down and dreamed up something that they call the Celebrity Craziness Matrix. According to the CC Matrix Celebrity Personality Disorder can be plotted on your standard x y axis with your favorite personalities falling some where between self aware to oblivious on the x axis, & zany to dangerous on the y.

dangerously self aware

Now that sounds mathematical & abstract. It makes more sense with real celebrity examples. If you look at the chart below you will see that – at the upper left, personalities like Lady Gaga & Andy Dick are self aware, but harmlessly zany. Julian Assange and Charlie Sheen on the other hand, are self aware but dangerous! You can talk to Chuck Lorre if you have any questions about the veracity of Sheen’s assessment! He’s still hurtin’ from the time he picked a fight with a warlock!

lovable lunatics

Now in the other range we have celebs who are less self aware. You might call them loveable dim wits – though some are less loveable than others. The likes of Gary Busey & Ozzy Osbourne aren’t known for dropping around deep philosophical ponderings. They are lovably zany. Part of the reason we do love them is because they don’t take themselves too seriously.

Mel Gibson is like an Antimatter Tom Cruise!

Then we have the less loveable hovering over at the dangerous end of oblivious. That includes people like Mel Gibson (think of him as Tom Cruise with the zany transferred into dangerous!), Lindsay Lohan, and Amanda Bynes. Their combo of dangerous & oblivious would make them poor people to be standing next to in a lightening storm. You’d be sure to get zapped. Then you’d be that charred frazzle standing beside an untouched Lindsay or Amanda in the tabloid pic!

Nick Nolte is Peter O Toole crossed with Courtney Love!

Then there are the borderline cases. People like Peter O Toole. His natural flamboyance made him a very entertaining actor, & lovably zany. His sharp wit combined with years of alcoholism means that he’s kind of back and forth between self aware and oblivious, depending. He’s kind of like the Courtney Love anti particle. Court’s extremely intelligent and also prone to occassional attacks of awareness. Other times she completely out of it!. Whereas O Toole is delightful & entertaining, Love is no one you’d turn your back on. Nick Nolte is another back & forth case but between zany & dangerous.

Mr. In Between! Jeff Probst is a male Anne Hathaway!

Then straight in the center we have Jeff Probst. We don’t know if his central placement makes him just right – like Goldilocks porridge. Does he have the right combo of zany/dangerous/oblivious/self awareness so that everything cancels everything else out, or does he just lack too much of any celebrity quality? Who ever he is he must be a special case among a rare breed! Like a male Anne Hathaway! Anne of course is the ‘reverse’ celebrity. Whereas other celebrities are like us but a bit different, Anne’s the opposite of that! So she’s a kind of “mirror image” of celebrity. Think of her as like Hawkgirl in the Justice League; & not quite like the other superheros! Or to put it another way, she doesn’t have an official Twitter account (that she could accidentally post mildly embarrassing pics of herself on).

 

There just isn’t matrix enough to mention everyone


Hopefully this celebrity crazy matrix can one day be refined into a proper diagnostic tool, like Robert Hare’s psychopath check list. Then it could hopefully be used to get celebs the right kind of help; or possibly identify non celebs with the right kind of crazy to make it in show biz! At this stage it can’t answer everything. Halle Berry didn’t make the matrix. For one thing no one is sure whether she knows what she’s doing. Besides, they were probably to damned afraid of her to put her in there (so she’d go along side LeAnn Rimes?)! So for now just enjoy it in it’s raw form & have some fun deciding where your favorites would fit in!

 

Anne Hathaway – the “reverse” celebrity

Kooky to the max & just a bit in bad taste

Celebrities are a little out there, and a little more willing to take chances and to expose themselves. That’s what makes Wondertrash possible. There’s a little celebrity in most of us though. So remember that you don’t have to be rich & famous to make a Wondertrash moment. Just be willing to put yourself out there, and take a chance by exposing yourself to what life has to offer. Then you too willing be rockin’ it Wondertrash style!

1 in 12 persons have celebrity personality disorder – can you spot which one?

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