Joaquin Phoenix calls Oscars total utter bullshit

Joaquin Phoenix is still the new Charlie Sheen

According to Phillip Seymour Hoffman his co star Joaquin Phoenix is a life force. He is also a mighty voice of Wondertrash. That’s because Phoenix has been nominated, yet again, for an Academy Award and has been pretty vocal in his opinions about it.

cosplayers without a cause

Now Phoenix has been pretty vocal in his opinions period. That actor seems to have some doubts about the acting profession. He might even share Robert Mitchum‘s view that acting isn’t a suitable job for  an adult. Bob wasn’t alone in his sentiments. ‘We play dress up for a living, just like tardsJennifer Aniston said to Reigs Philbin during a daytime TV interview. Phoenix went farther than either with his mockumentary I’m Still Here (well worth watching!) which seemed to be mildly disparaging of an industry that claims creativity but treats actors like meat puppets. Once again “meat parade” was the phrase George C Scott coined to describe the event he was reluctant to participate in. Now with all that meaty dressing up and parading around these negative Nellies are making the Academy Awards sound like Comic Con or something – except that Comic Con has gained a surprising amount of credibility lately!

hoopla out of proportion

So that brings us to the latest occurrence of Joaquin Phoenix. As mentioned Phoenix just got Oscar nominated for his latest movie. Now in Hollywood everyone acts like the Academy Awards are the annual second coming or something. It’s about shiny chrome phallic looking statuettes, pretty dresses, great hair, fake smiles, credible silicone & incredible botox, mutual admiration, and all the other things we use to define what’s important in life – & don’t forget really eye catching shoes because that’s what separates the winners from those who only show or place!

So now you know why they wish ’em – “Break a leg

So the Awards can get blown way out of proportion – like Angelina Jolie almost divorced her leg last year after it made a fool of her at the Awards. She was eventually talked down to amputation, and then to the even less drastic option of a tattoo, placed on some other part of the body. So with some other body part getting the attention the leg should get the hint and realize it was way out of line. Of course unnamed sources close to the actress say that there were other issues between Jolie and The Leg, like when it got it’s own twitter account. Then there were the rumors that the Leg was cutting an independent deal with People Magazine of lucrative picture rights. Maybe she was only jealous after the leg got it’s own stalker. So with everything getting so blown out of proportion that’s where Joaquin Phoenix comes in, by trying to put all this hoopla into proportion.

it’s always trick or treat in Halloween Hollywood

So he naturally had some colorful things to say about the awards – like it’s retarded. Now that’s not what he said, I’m paraphrasing to give you the gist of it. What he said was that the Oscars are complete bullshit that pit people against each other. He also described them as a big stinky carrot. Well he didn’t say stinky, but he did call ’em a carrot. He then went on to say that they’re the worst tasting carrot that he ever tasted. I think what he’s trying to say is that Hollywood success has a slightly shitty flavour. It’s alright if you have a taste for it. It might be rough trying to acquire a taste for it though. Now his statements might sound a bit rough. Perhaps he just meant that they should change the Awards ceremony date so that it falls on Halloween? It would be even more incentive to dress up, but wardrobe malfunctions and fashion faus paxs would be less noticeable in a general trick or treat atmosphere. Let’s just say that Joaquin was slightly irritated.

If you wanna heart more about what Joaquin had to say, then just watch the following brief video!

Jolie and the Leg still not talking

By the way for those waiting for some closure on the Jolie vs Leg story the two are still together, though Jolie say that the Leg is “dead to me!”. So then they’re estranged, rather than separated – like the relationship with her father Jon Voight. Jolie is also threatening to leave the Leg home this year – but that’s probably just an empty threat to keep the Leg in line. The Leg saga is a typical Hollywood story where some one forgets where they came from. Next thing you know the Leg will be doing it’s own good will missions for the UN. Now that might be an exaggeration but I could definitely see the damned thing endorsing a presidential candidate or pitching a reality TV pilot – possibly even releasing it’s own sex tape! So Jolie just wants to remind her leg to dance with the person that brought them to the party.

PS. The subject of Oct 15th’s Wondertrash Comic Con’s brashly shameless Mandy Caruso has made the Daily Mail. Seems that her  Tumblr post – a strong & well written piece – on comic con creepiness has gone semi viral. now Ms Caruso has made the Daily Mail! hit the link to read the article Mandy @ the Mail.

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Angelina Jolie – smoking, drinking, crying

Beautiful people are the most miserable people on earth. They make everyone else miserable too.
~Carlos Castaneda

From a Hollywood Pegasus to a Million Dollar Minnie Mouse!

The Academy Awards is a little like the Oil Barons Ball on Dallas – it seldom goes off without incident. The last one was a doozy. There was Sean Young‘s bizarre gate crashing and arrest. Then there was Angelina Jolie. She wasn’t nominated for anything despite her ambitious Blood & Honey film. She still got some stage time as a presenter – so she decided to make a meal out of it. She showed up in her notorious black dress and with her right leg stuck out at a 90 degree angle. If she’d replaced the leg with a wooden peg and had a eye patch and parrot on her shoulder she couldn’t have made more of a spectacle of herself. Then there was that little shampoo commercial head flick she gave as she began her presentation. Most people thought that it was too much and many thought that it was ridiculous. So the mockery started with a vengeance.

You’re supposed to make the scene, not make a scene!

Angelina Jolie – like many beautiful women – doesn’t take mockery kindly, and certainly not like a good sport. Maybe that’s because they are more accustomed to being worshiped than teased. Angelina Jolie is apparently no exception t this unwritten rule. New reports say Sexy Mamma is on the verge of a total nervous breakdown in the wake of her notorious Oscar Night Fiasco. Total nervous breakdown might sound like tabloid overstatements but she’s giving off some definite danger signals.

Jolie sticks out her leg and trips herself up!

For one thing she’s hitting the booze to cope. That started on Oscar night. Angelina supposedly got sloshed at one of the Oscar parties to cope with the whole public humiliation thing. Now alcohol works great when it comes to dealing with public humiliation but it has side effects, like even more public humiliation. In this case Killer Lips got her self so inebriated that her partner Brad Pitt had to carry her out to the car cause she was too drunk to make it under her own steam. That happened at Craig’s restaurant with George Clooney and Stacey Keibler. George is Brad’s No. 1 bud, and Keibler is some one Jolie allegedly disliked – so she shamed herself in front of an enemy and Brad in front of a friend. Could that have turned out worse? Ironic that she ended the evening without a leg to stand on!

Shes’ not a crazy cat lady – yet.

The plot thickens. In addition to boozing it up Jolie has opted for a few other coping mechanisms, like smoking and bursting into tears. The smoking has gotten so bad that InTouch – now predicting an imminent Jolie meltdown – is claiming that she’s replaced food with cigarettes. They should’ve added an alleged to that cause the jury is still out on whether Jolie actually eats.

Her panic button is stuck!

So with Jolie rapidly turning into Patsy Stone off of Absolutely Fabulous that has Brad getting impatient with her. He’s supposedly already pissed off with her for upstaging him at the Oscars, or just making an ass of herself while she was there with him. Now he has to deal with her boozy weepy unraveling. InTouch is reporting that Brad is telling her “is urging her to get over the embarrassment and grow up.

The Awkward Age

InTouch is claiming that the misconceived Oscar stunt has really blown Jolie’s cool. “Her weird, look-at-me pose while presenting screen-writing Oscars proved how insecure she really is – and ironically, she fell apart when it backfired.” explains the tabloid. So she’s allegedly “smoking, drinking and bursting into tears,” says the magazine, adding that she showed up for costume prep on a new film “rail-thin and raspy-voiced,” looking like “a shadow of her old self.” The thing is that it’s been 10 years since she was Hollywood’s most beautiful bad ass. Middle age is a rough transition for a beautiful woman to make, & it come son early for a movie actress. Hopefully she’ll pull it together. It would be a shame for her to fall to further extremes – like plastic surgery. With her features and bone structure too much of that could have her looking like Wayland Flower’s Madame! Hang in there, kid!

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