Lisa and her lips

Now from big talk about loose lips to loose talk about big lips Lisa Rinna is pretty well known. Some credit belongs to her costars – those outsized lips that have become her trade mark. Lisa had them packed full of silicone back in 1986, a good 10 years before chicks started routinely getting their smackers blown up with collagen. The surgery served her well for years as she became more and more famous; and her lips became her trade mark.

Me and my big mouth

Lisa was to find out that there can be too much of a good thing. In the case of her lips it was nearly impossible for her to deny having surgery, since human lips generally only get that big if your a carrier of the Voight – Bertrand gene. Her lips were now so big that they virtually spoke for themselves without saying a word! So she had to live down everyone knowing about her big fake lips. Also since they were packed with silicone, certain medical concerns came up over time.

plastic angels

The major difference between silicone and collagen is that silicone is permanent, whereas collagen is temporary, and eventually gets reabsorbed by the body. So with collagen you have to make repeated trips to the doctor to get your lips topped up or they start deflating like party balloons or inflatable couch cushions. If you want to avoid those down in the mouth periods then you can go for silicone. Trouble with silicone is that it can react with the body over time, just like those breast implant horror stories everyone’s heard about for 15 years now.

saving face & down in the mouth – there’s no people like show people

Medical issues are exactly what Rinna faced during her “Harry Loves Lisa” reality TV series.Since Lisa’s lips had been a topic of conversation for some time it might be a smart idea to confront the subject in her show. She’d been coy about answering lip related questions before, so maybe now would be a good time to focus some of that curiosity into her new show. Lisa did a quick fess up on some of the more popular morning chat type shows, and then booked a doctor’s appointment. It was a near perfect scheme since it gave Lisa a semblance of creditability by admitting to something that everyone already knows, it attracts some attention to her show, plus she gets that lip problem fixed. It would have been a no lose scenario except for the undoing of so many near perfect schemes – the unforeseen.

watch your mouth

When Lisa visited her doctor for the delipping consultation she ran into the unforeseen. The doctor told her that her lips were in worse shape than she thought. For one thing the silicone had hardened, just like in breast implants. So getting all of the stuff out could be problematic. Since the show must go on, Lisa went ahead with the lip reduction and hoped for an uneventful recovery. Her recuperation period has not only been eventful, it’s born out some of her doctor’s concerns.

tissue issues

For one thing her lip reduction wasn’t straight forward. 20 years of carrying that around in her mouth left her with some tissue damage. Now her lips aren’t healing as fast as she expected. In fact her surgeon has told her that it could take as much as 6 months to recover. He told her more to, like be careful when you smile cause your lips might burst. So the upshot is that after 25 years in the business Lisa’s lips are getting a well earned vacation, pending possible retirement!

if the wind changes you’ll stay that way

Now lip might sound a bit far fetched but lip explosions really can happen. Stephanie Seymour’s lips are rumoured to have burst during a transatlantic flight. Her mouth was packed with enough gel to get her on a no fly list under today’s restrictions. When the jet hit high altitude and the cabin pressure dropped the pressure got too much and one of her lips ruptured.

Lisa lips – the scariest thing in her life!

So Lisa is taking no chances. She says that she’s taking it easy on her lips until she gets the green light from her doctor. Until then there’s no smiling, no laughing, and she’s avoiding talking as much as possible. Just to be on the safe side. In fact both Lisa and her husband Harry Hamlin are quit concerned about it. Says Lisa “This is turning into the scariest hing in my life. I just hope it doesn’t look deformed.” A friend goes on to comment that concerns over her lips are driving her crazy. So that’s proof for all of you who think that celebs are vain, insensitive, and shallow folk with egos instead of human feelings. It may have taken awhile but Lisa’s lips are having the same effect on her now that they have on many others for years!

One thing remains the same; whether she’s getting them pumped up or deflated, her lips continue to be a big deal. In fact they’re still one of Lisa’s most talked about characteristics! You could say that Lisa’s relationship with her lips is a little like the case of the tail wagging the dog except it might be even more like those old horror films about the ventriloquist who gets taken over by his dummy! Now – like Pamela Anderson and her breast – it’s tough to tell who’s really running the show and who’s just along for the ride. Congratulations to Rinna for finally putting her mouth in it’s place before it ate her career & life. Hope everything works out for an otherwise good natured lady! Besides, maybe Bill Clinton will finally stop stalking her now.

best face forward – just don’t get off on the wrong foot

You can’t blame Lisa. Woman are judged more on appearance than on performance. The result is that even very accomplished women can fall into the insecurity trap of image tweaking. By taking matters into her own hands perhaps Rinna can send out the right message. Just in time too, before Contessa Brewer’s new lips became permanent!

Contessa Brewer looks swell, and maybe swollen!

contessa brewer big lips
PS. Lisa, if you’re reading vitamin E oil – like you get by breaking the capsules, greatly speeds the healing process. As usual check with your physician before trying. As for Contessa, try putting an ice pack on that till the swelling goes down!


Penelope Cruz knocked up, & other non news

Salma Hayak not the father, probably

Back when Penelope Cruz was keeping company with Salma Hayak there was alot of talk about the two ladies being lesbians. Personally I thought it was something they were doing for publicity, and perhaps event o boost their careers by a ‘political shortcut’. Sure enough and before too long Salma got herself involved with a billionaire. They had an on again of again engagement, and they they had a kid.

Now Penelope has followed suite. Not only has she married, but the Spanish actress is also 4 1/2 months pregnant!

Drake learns that marriage is no joking matter

In other news celebrities and Twitter have once again joined forces to create confusion. This time rapper Drake – real name Aubrey Drake Graham – to to Twitter claiming that he married his girlfriend Nicki Minaj. The singer posted: “Please refer to @nickiminaj as Mrs. Aubrey Drake Graham and don’t stare at her too long. She’s finally mine.” Nicki posted in response: “Yes, it’s true. Drake and I tied the knot.”

Now everyone knows that you don’t believe anything that celebrities say, even if it comes through a publicist. One poor soul was unaware of the rules, and that was none other than Drake’s mom. Says drake by way of People Magazine: “My mum was actually like, ‘What happened? How did you elope?’ But we were just joking around. I never thought it would get so out of hand.” I can see how you wouldn’t expect blow back just by posting an announcement for you 500 000 or so Twitter followers. If mom’s prone to nervous anxiety, or even a touch of paranoia (and who isn’t) then she might be wondering which story is the hoax: the marriage, or the explanation. “He just doesn’t want me getting upset with his new wife!”

Drake’s marriage tweet has created even more blow back. Drake claims that the ill though out post have cramped his style by putting the brakes on his love life, The rapper says that when he approaches a woman now, they give him the cold shoulder, insisting that he’s now married and has no business flirting. Maybe that will teach him to respect the power of twitter int he the future!

jail house romance reunites love birds in a cage

Finally, in today’s relationship themed post, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are back together, allegedly. The news comes from Spencer himself, so lacks credibility and needs to be verified. However according to Spencer he was down in Costa Rica, going through the airport or something, when custom officials found fire arms among his luggage. That lead to detention. The detention was a plus, says Spencer, because it gave him time to reconcile with the missus after what Spence described as one of the wildest day he ever spent! So the Heidi and Spencer show continue – I just hope they worked out which one of them is gonna play the back part of the horse this time! Keep on fighting the New World Order, you crazy kids!

tin foil hat – fresh from the microwave

Speaking of resistance, here’s the latest broadcast from Gary Bell, on The View From Space:

Our cruel Illuminati masters never sleep in their ongoing effort to control our minds and steal our souls. So don’t get caught with your drawers down or you might find yourself staring at an empty toilet paper tube!

wonder woman toilet
BTW if you’re a hard working under appreciated blogger then you might want to register your site on You’re material will get on the search engines quicker, plus they have low standards for their writer of the day selection!

wondertrash on zimbio


Miranda Kerr Officially Knocked Up

Miranda Kerr was rumored to be pregnant for awhile. It started on a recent vacation with Orlando Bloom. Kerr was uncharacteristically bitchy. So Bloom had to go around apologizing for her. He also made some explanation. Bloom told hotel staff that Kerr was not her usual effervescent self because she was in the family way. Now this wasn’t an official statement, but since it came from her new husband, everyone assumed he knew what he was talking about, and went with the story. That only left it to Kerr herself to confirm the story. Well Kerr has finally come out and made it official. Here’s a short video clip on that:

Dr Laura still didn’t mean shat she said

In other news disgraced radio busybody Dr Laura Schlessinger is still trying to salvage the remnants of her media career. The good doctor blew it when she used the N word repeatedly during a conversation with a caller seeking advice on dealing with racist in laws. Dr L also told the woman to lighten up and to have a sense of humor.

That went over about as well as expected. Sponsors balked and soon Dr Laura announced she would be leaving her long running radio show to continue the good fight in a less restrictive medium, like blogging. She insisted that her 1st amendment rights to be as offensive as she wants to be were being curtailed. She mentioned nothing about her employers right to cut loose someone who gone from an asset to a liability in about 60 seconds.

Dr Laura has had some support. Former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin tweeted words of encouragement to Laura, telling the good doctor to reload instead of retreating. Now since an endorsement from Palin is about as good as a baby food endorsement from Chinese melamine manufacturers, Laura probably figured that she needed to do something else to save what’s left of whatever public image she ever had.

So Schlessinger gave an interview to the Hollywood Reporter. Schlessinger is never at a loss for words – so the interview ran on and on. Most of it is what you’d expect: Laura talking about her views, her rights, her hurt feelings – she’s the very heart of sensitivity! She also mentions that she might be taking her show onto Sirius XM (I hope she knows that’s Illuminati owned – the dog star is sacred to that bunch!). However at one point during the interview she mentions that she was talking the whole brouhaha out with some friends over dinner. One of the friends was black, and the other was gay. They all had a good laugh about it. Here’s what Laura said:

Schlessinger: I went out to dinner with three friends after Larry King (on Wednesday). One of my friends who is gay is sitting there with another friend who is black, and he looks up and says, “I wonder what the media would do with this? You’re with a black guy and a gay guy.” We laughed, because we all understand what this is really about — censoring a point of view.

So now you know that some of her best friends are black and gay (BTW the black guy is probably her bodyguard – the same one she likes to play basketball with cause white guys can’t jump. He might also be the gay guy. I can’t imagine Dr Laura having 3 friends these days.) ! In the interview Laura also goes on to say that she never called gays a biological error, that she opposes same sex marriage because she believes that men should still pay for dates – but they shouldn’t get anything, and dismisses some of the wilder rumors about herself: like she’s had affairs with married men, was pregnant before marriage (she hedged on that one), and that she has a slew of illegitimate children that no one knows about. Oh yeah, she also discusses which movies and popular songs she hates, and goes on at length about what’s wrong with America today (basically the problem is that no one is listening to Laura – but you’ve heard that before).

You can read the full interview @ Yahoonews, where you can also find out about Laura’s latest merchandising enterprises, like her new book on betrayal and revenge, plus her new IPhone app “Dr Laura’s Moral Compass”. She describes it as like a Magic 8 Ball you use for relationship advice. Apps are big so that might be promising, though it only has a limited number of responses so far. They include “you’re acting like an unpaid whore”, “that’s not love, it’s called humping”, and “go do the right thing”. So basically the you can have the full Dr Laura radio experience without the show!

Aniston offends mentally disabled by comparing them to actors

BTW Dr Laura isn’t the only one who had an unfortunate attack of foot in mouth. Jennifer Aniston had a Dr Laura Moment on a recent Regis and Kelly appearance. Jennipooh was answering some questions about her recent Babara Streisand tribute. Streisand is a show business god, who’s name even makes spell check; and was reportedly pleased with the shoots (in entertainment flattery is the sincerest form of flattery!). So this should have been a bright shining moment for Aniston.

Things went sour when Regis – that rascal – commented that Aniston was basically playing dress up. Aniston replied that’s what she did for a living, and then added “just like a retard”. So naturally some folk were none too pleased. Spokespersons for the mentally disabled were mad.

Actor’s might have been even more peeved. After all Aniston was using the term to describe the acting profession. So she might as well have said “We’re just a big bunch of retards in this business”. Now considering how seriously every one in the entertainment business takes them selves this was a collective slap in the face! That would have to be extra insulting considering how supportive the Hollywood community has been to her after Angelina Jolie stole Brad Pitt from her. So basically Aniston’s career as she knew it is over. Let’s take a look at the moment when it went down the drain.

Now you can’t blame Aniston for being a bit ungrateful Sure she’s had some good movies and a string of success. However it’s got to grate playing pathetic single women who can’t get laid in film after film after film. This has got to be at least the second movie in which one of Aniston’s main romantic interests has been a turkey baster. That’s got to hurt. So something was bound to slip out sooner or later.

Besides, the in-Hollywood fall out from this is bound to give Aniston more time to search for real love in real life. It’s an ill wind that blows no good – though you still might want to watch what you say. That is unless your supermodel girlfriend is pregnant – then go ahead and shoot from the lip!


Buffy Pregnant

It looks like former Buffy Sarah Michelle Gellar is pregnant agains. The star has been letting details slip here and there among friends. Plus she’s been spending a lot of free time on the nursery. She even has something specifi in mind – for the nursery; earth tones, & nothing too princessy. So can we take it that she’s dropping a boy this time?

Jennifer Love Hewitt: Pregnant or just fat and happy?

So what’s new with Jennifer Love Hewitt? It’s not all fending off cyber attacks from deranged conspiracist Diana Napolis alias Karen Curio Jones. Hewitt has recently turned 30, she enjoys walking around town dressed like Audrey Heburn from Breakfast at Tiffany’s – complete with the tiara, and has made the Maxim Hot 100. That sounds like a well rounded life.

She was also spotted at CVS wearing some baggy clothes and buying a home pregnancy test. So naturally rumours have been sparked that she’s in the family way. Now that might be inconvenient since Love Hewitt was dumped by her fiancee Ross McCall (who confirms that Hewitt is crazier than you thought, but stops shot of any kind of Curio Jones type allegations) and just settling in to a new relationship with Jamie Kennedy. Now Hewit wants every one too know that she’s deliriously happy with Kennedy – not just plain delirious. However getting herself knocked up by a new guy might be pushing the rebound “I’ll show you” thing a smidge too far. Then again maybe Hewitt has just packed some poundage back on and is looking for a cover story until she can book her lipo.

Lindsay Lohan Pregnant?

Ian Undercover may not be the most reliable source, but he does come up with some interesting stuff. The latest rumour to find it’s way through him, via Showbiz spy doesn’t involve Brangie, but Lindsay Lohan. Apparently when Lindsay partied company with Samantha Ronson she began rebounding with a vengeance. The result is that now some idle tongues are wagging away to the tune that she’s knocked up! Here’s what one un named source had to say: “I swear she’s carrying. She’s going through big emotional turmoil. She’s not sure if she’ll have it or go through with an abortion that she booked to have in the next few days. Saddest part is she has no idea who the father is. She must have slept with more than two dozen men in the past couple of months.”

If this rumour is anything like his Brangelina Finished stories Lohan need not even bother to by the home pregnancy test. Let it be a lesson to prospective gossip bloggers: your stories don’t have to be true, or even plausible; but just so wild that they can’t be ignored. The Weekly World News has be using that formula successfully for years! Personally I’m going with “Jolie refuses to do nude scenes because she was born with a pig’s tail“! Gary Bell on The View From Space swears it’s true!

Heid & Seal expecting girl!

They’re already entertainment’s most grounded family. Now they’re about to be come well balanced. Seal has revealed that his glamorous wife supermodel Heidi Klum is expecting a girl. Seal said that he felt free to divulge this information since the missus is busy telling anyone within earshot. With about 5 planets in Gemini, Klum’s bound to be super talkative, but real bad at keeping secrets. Secrets are really more of a Scorpio thing anyway! The couple were hoping for a girl, since the current family balance is male heavy: the couple have 2 sons and only one daughter. Now that the act is growing, we can only hope that Heidi & Seal continue to keep it real. Being down to earth has made them entertainment’s most likable couple!

Heidi Klum Knocked Up, Again!

Looks like Angelina Jolie and Octomom are gonna have some competition. Super model Heidi Klum is knocked up again. her husband, British singer Seal, spilled the beans at New York’s Radio City Music Hall the other night. “We’re having a baby,” the singer informed the crowd, “although I should say that Heidi’s doing most of the work“. nice to give her some of the credit.

This will be baby number four for the super couple. Seal and Heidi also have a couple of boys, and Heidi has a daughter by a previous relationship which Seal has claimed as his own. In fact Seal has scolded both Heidi and the press for not including daughter Leni among his children. he may not have placed the order, but he paid for the delivery; and possession is nine tenths of the law!

Blake Civil Fielder gets friend pregnant

Friends with benefits? What are friends for?

Looks like celebrity scuzz bag Blake Civil Fielder is gonna be a daddy, but not by estranged wife Amy. It seems that while Blake was in rehab he was doing more than the 12 steps. He was also seducing an unemployed 31 year old fellow inmate, Gilleen Morris. The pair met on the sly for secret sex sessions. Things worked out about how you might expect, with Gilleen informing Blakie that she was knocked up and Blakie responding “Oh Shit!” Gilleen confesses that she was as surprised as Blake – the fling was for fun and she never thought about the consequences.

He shoots, he scores!
Now Blake has promised to stand by her. That’s gotta mean a lot considering how he’s stuck by Amy Winehouse. In fact Blake is currently involved in building a divorce case against Wino. He hopes to get half her 20 mill fortune based on grounds of her infidelity! His own infidelity might prove a fly in the ointment! Remember Blake that there’s no failure – as the New Agers say – only a lack of the desired result. You did have the fun of trying, and now you’ve got the consequences too!
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