Rupert Sanders Still Wants Kristen Stewart

What’s new and interesting in the world of entertainment gossip? Well Rupert Saunders still wants Kristen Stewart! Well actually that’s more like old news with a new angle. If you’ll recall Kristen was the girl who played a vampire in a series of movies, and Rupert Saunders directed her in Snow White and the Huntsman, which was supposed to be her big A List springboard from the Twilight series. Things  took an unfortunate turn when Kristy and Rup were exposed as having an affair. That was bad since Kristen was in love with her on screen vampire boyfriend Robert Pattinson at the time, and the love affair was a selling angle for the flicks.

So fans had some sort of collective conniption. The phrase ‘trampire’ got coined on twitter, Kristy was even chased into her car by a pack of irate Twilight fans in one incident. Once she locked herself in they began rocking the car. It was very stressful! She was attacked persistently and mercilessly by Twihards who couldn’t believe that she’d thrown over a vampire for a middle aged married man!

Naturally that impacted her career. There were no more bog A List block busters for her to star in. Perhaps because the powers that be feared she no longer had a fan base to carry a film. There might even be some kind of Box Office Backlash! Even Pattinson’s career took a bit of a dive. So that lead to damage control with Kris and Rob showing up everywhere in public, talking marraige and even buying a house. I think that they had some kind of Adams Family type monstrosity picked out, somewhere in England. It was some gothy Victorian number with blood red walls, an on site cemetery, and something described as a ‘werewolf’ kennels. I think that the ‘werewolf kennels’ had originally been ‘centaur stables’ – the mid Victorians were an odd lot, but werewolves play better when you’re planning around fandom conventions. The movie going public didn’t buy the reunion act (those of us old enough to remember already had our hearts broken by Sonny & Cher. Can we be blamed for being too cynical to buy it?). So Rob & Kris were off the hook, or as far as the monster home goes.  Hope that they got their deposit back, but good luck tot he relators trying to unload that on anyone else.

Though Rob & Kris went their separate ways one person who remained hung up in the past was Rupert Saunders. At least according to HollyscoopTV . They claim that the director is still hung up on Stewart, and even “in love”. “In love” is a ludicrous phrase for a middle aged person to use, especially a few years after the incident. So it sounds bad. So how bad is bad? Have a look at Hollyscoop’s video on the subject and see for yourself!

Twilight was hard on everyone. Kinda like a stake through he heart. So thank God we had Kim Kardashian to get us through that difficult period. Kim made a sex tape which eventually got her on to reality TV! There she portrayed a kinder gentler Paris Hilton. People liked her and were interested in her family’s antics. So she did well.

Then she married Kris Humpheries. They made a killing out of selling the coverage of the marriage to TV, or to some magazine. Over $ 22 million by some accounts. Then after only 72 days and on Halloween Day, the couple split! Kim explained that she had followed her heart, and then followed it in a different direction. Fans said “like fuck” and start acting like it was some kind of rip off. People started calling her “Kar-trashian”, and it looked like her substantial business empire was in jeopardy.

Kim was more fortunate than Kristen Stewart, since she had Kanye West there to reform her. The pair got involved. Kim followed Kanye on tour at one point. Then they had a daughter – North West. That kid is probably gonna change her name sometime later in life. So everything is hunky dory. So much so that Kim actually has some kind of new baby product line out! Kim did not give away too many details, but she did say it will be
affordable and it’s been confirmed it will be released in March!

Kim & Kris are examples of celebrity that took a wrong turn somewhere, maybe around Albuquerque. Just like those Roswell aliens! Their promising images got tarnished somehow, perhaps by personal indiscretions. Another example would be Duck Dynasty. They got popular on reality TV by being rich and very redneck. They made their loot on duck lures and now people could watch how they lived in real life with cameras following them everywhere. The Robertson’s got about 7 season on A&E out of that!

Then patriarch Phil said some unsympathetic stuff about homosexuals, like “I don’t get it!”. and “It’s against the Bible”. He gave some interview to GQ which had people commenting about his rebellious and political views instead of asking ‘why is this guy even in GQ?’. That got him temporarily suspended from his popular duck show. It also caused a minor backlash amongst reactionaries, like Sarah Palin (who later admitted that she didn’t even know what he’d said when she took to defending him. Good ole Sarah!) who felt his freedom of speech was somehow being violated. That might not have been technically true since a violation of free speech is when they throw you in prison for speaking your beliefs, which no one did. In this case his employers merely questioned the wisdom of continuing to pay him, which is their right in a free market to do.

So the whole issue was rife with political technicalities like free speech vs free market. Reality TV and duck lures acan take you to strange places! Sarah Palin wasn’t the most reliable guide either. So maybe that’s why Willie Robertson has gotten political. He was out and about at some kind of GOP bash for the State of the Union address. He was in good company too, like Newt Gingrich. Sexy Sarah wasn’t in the picture. After watching the president lay it out there, and probably making some little cracks – you know how neocons can be, the whole crew then went out for eats & drinks.

That’s when Willie got everyone’s attention. Now he didn’t get sloshed and start making inflammatory comments. Far from it. He payed for everyone’s meal by picking up everyone’s tab! You know how those smug complacent Republicans can eat, and that’s saying nothing about knocking back the liquor! Then he made a really generous gesture – he tipped the waiter %100! Celebrity gone wrong is one thing, but tipping the staff is doing it right!

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Reel Love will only get ya so far, even in the movies

Rumor has it that RPatz dumped Kristen Stewart at the Golden Globes. They showed up together and hung out at an after party, but were not officially dates. Now they are apparently going their separate ways. That’s because, sources say, Patz was getting pressure over taking Stewart back. Basically he was a laughing stock and Stewart was hurting his career & image. Meanwhile Stewart has accepted the split and decided that it’s okay for them to go back to being really good friends.

the shimmy sham show – Stewart & Pattinson leave em wondering

looks like there are more Kristen Stewart Robert Pattinson break up rumours this time involving the Golden Globes they say it's good bye's ville for the pair after that which will have conspiracy theoriests saying I told you so
Stewart leaves em wondering

The thing is that this is exactly what all those Twilight conspiracy theorists said would happen, that Stewart & Patz would patch it up for the premiere, to get everyone interested & talking, then once the ticket sales are in they will quietly go their separate ways with the usual believable explanations that are heart felt and right from the publicist’s pen. Of course these are the same people who claim that Stewart and Pattinson were never a really a couple and that the relationship was a sham to hype the movie. For some reason paranoid types think movie goers will be more interested in a film if they think the stars are screwing in real life because they don’t know the difference between fantasy & reality. So the illusion has to be protected with tons of make believe. Now that the show is over the players merely need credible excuses so they can exit gracefully and move on to others acts.

Celeb gossip don’t answer question –  it’s just spreads shit around!

Now obviously that’s delusional thinking. The question is how many delusional thinkers run Hollywood studios? That is a question beyond they scope of celebrity gossip blogging’s ability to answer. However for the questions that we can answer take a look at the following short and informative video from CelebTV where they discussion the whole developing Pattinson Stewart break up story.

Now it may be true that Kristen may be through with Twilight. Who can say. They important thing that in Hollywood there are no shortage of ambitious and beautiful women waiting for any available void to be filled. So the show goes on. If some one can ‘t play the part then another person will. So I can not confirm the rumors that Angelina Jolie is currently trying to talk former co star Johnny Depp into an on screen rematch where they play the Pattinson and Stewart characters in a future set story line. Just because she has a human blood fetish is no reason to jump to conclusions. I will just say that Jolie is currently considering any and all offers from her undisclosed location – possibly the Bat Cave or the Fortress of Solitude.

could Angelina Jolie be considering the role of Wonder Woman in an upcoming movie?
Wondering Woman – Angelina Jolie has kept people guessing for years!

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Kristen Stewart is the Conspiracy!

A funny thing happened while taking Liam Rhines for a ride with Paddy Wagoner

While I was busy dreaming up Internet message board aliases today – stuff like Liam Rhines & Paddy Wagoner, I couldn’t help wondering what ever happened to the conspiracy movement. Now if you’re anything like me then you like an occasional far fetched trip the the revolving door of paranoia. So the past ten years were one hell of a ride. If you’ll recall it all began back in New York City on 911 when 19 Islamic  terrorist committed the greatest act of mass murder ever perpetrated on American soil. They pulled it off with out the aid of readily available and perfectly legal semi automatic fire arms too! So this was an event to challenge everyone’s belief system!

Those were the days – back when “going jihad” was the new “gone ballistic”

As the western world reeled from shock it struggled to make sense out of what had just happened. As far as any one could tell Mid Eastern fundies hiding behind their hijabs and armed only with Korans and wild eyed fanaticism had declared war on the United States. Worse still they didn’t do this on behalf of a rogue country like Libya or some such. They weren’t a nation, they were a movement. So they could conceivably be anyone. That made them the worst kind of enemy to reach out and smack – the Invisible Menace! Now if you k now a little American History then you’ve heard that nothing puts the fizz in their Coca Cola like a good ole 5th Column Red Menace. So soon everyone was wondering what might be lurking where the reds under the beds used to be.

There was nothing in Al Capone’s vault but it wasn’t Geraldo’s fault, unless he knows something and he’s not saying!

The plot sickened. George W Bush‘s decisive but befuddled response to the crisis left everyone wondering if he really knew exactly what the fuck he was doing. Then and as people were asking themselves, and each other “exactly how the fuck could this have happened?“,  the stories started coming out – the CIA had been warned in advance that trouble was coming but dismissed the reports. Or they got lost in some bureaucratic haystack of misfiled paper work. Or the CIA had been tracking the terrorists but didn’t consider them a real threat. Or Dick Cheney told NORAD to stand down on the morning of 911 as plane # 2 was coming through – even though the USAF was poised to intercept. There were no clear and present answers and only 2 conclusions: either Bush &amp: Cheney were Col. Klink and Ubersargent Schultz, and running America like Luftstalag 13; or they were the Emperor & Darth Vader and totally in on the event. When given a choice between dishonesty and incompetence most reasonably suspicious people will go for dishonesty every day of the week and twice on Sunday! So that was America’s cue to stock up on tinfoil!

Don’t drink the cool aid; eat the crazy candy!

If I’d only bought aluminum futures 10 years ago then I’d be rich today. That stuff had to have topped out higher than gold at the rate people started wrapping up assorted half truths in it like so many rotten fish heads purloined out of the garbage of some person of interest. People like such as Alex Jones, David Icke, Fritz Springmeier (author of the most elaborate explanation in the world!), and others made full time jobs out of explaining the unexplainable. If you were into taking the red pills then these friendly neighborhood alarmists were your strangers with candy!

News from the dark side – The moon is made of green cheese and if you eat some you’ll flip out; cause it’s totally hallucinogenic!

As the audiences got larger the theories got wilder too. The Queen was a blood drinking child sacrificing Lizard Mother descended from Reptoids living at the center of the earth. 911 was predictive programming to pave the way for a full scale Illuminati world take over. George Bush and a coven of devil worshiping republicans (including Karl “Dr Evil” Rove and the aforementioned Dick Cheney) met yearly at Bohemian Grove not only to raise Cain but the ghost of Alasteir Crowley and channel him as their own personal Baphomet, so they could seek his guidance on how best to mismanage the world. The fact that the economy collapsed only added fuel to the speculation fire. More incompetence or is something really up? Maybe the Jews were so busy running Hollywood that they lost track of the hedge funds? Damn you Baron Rothschild! In short no theory was too crazy to fly if it could be propped up by no more than a half dozen half truths. Plus if you have Internet connection and a decent laptop you could get in on the act too! You could start a blog, backed up with a website, featuring podcasts. Pretty soon you might get a following. That could be your breakthrough into the exciting world of psudo-documentary film making! You’ get your name out there and maybe even earn enough to pay you internet service provider! In short it was a golden age of paranoia. & delusional thinking became a kind of cottage industry.

So is the CIA still monitoring your wet dreams these days?

Then something really dreadful happened. Barack Hussein Obama became the 44th President of the United States of America. I say it was horrible because the guy seems to know what he’s doing. Al Qaida got busted up. Wall Street got a house cleaning. Then the American Economy began creeping towards recovery. As life stabilized and returned to something resembling what it had been before people were once again ready to start making plans, focusing on goals, and using common sense. As people began staying calm and carrying on they lost their zest of alternative reality. Obama’s 2012 re election campaign slogan should’ve been “Are you less nuts then you were 4 years ago“. In fact many people became ashamed that they had ever actually taken any of that wild talk even half way seriously.Continuing conspiracy talk was a painful reminder of their monetary lapse in reason and they wanted the crack pots to go back on their meds already. The Mayan calendar anticlimax was like the last nail in the crazy coffin. Bad news for outlets like Al Jazeera, and murder for aspiring conspiracy theorists out there.

Quiet – the news bots are talking about celebridriods again!

The trouble with paranoia is that when you stir it up it doesn’t always go away right away. It’s fun and exciting. So people start putting all that excess neural energy into alternate theory making. Not the kind of  “How many national TV news anchors are really androids?” stuff. As I said that would be embarrassingly painful. So it may find a harmless outlet. That might mean stuff like celebrity gossip. Now people weren’t quite ready to return to the good ole “who’s gay?” typo of speculation. That would be too mundane for one thing. All those new and now idle neural pathways needed some more substantial food for thought. So lucky for you this is where Kristen Stewart comes in! Bon appetite!

So what if Romeo & Juliet had fangs?

Now for the half dozen or so who don’t know, perhaps because they were doing something actually worthwhile like delivering UNICEF packages to starving children on the other side of the planet; Kristen Stewart is a 22 year old actress who plays a vampire’s girlfriend in a long series of Twilight movies. Her boyfriend, in the films and in real life, is played by the Brit heart throb actor Robert Pattinson or RPatz as he is known to anyone not his friend. They play alienated teenagers who find gothy true love together in about 5 films that have become the Love Story or Titanic of today’s teenager. Now vampires and werewolves sound kinda campy but bear in mind that they coat tailed in on the Harry Potter craze, The Adams Family and the Munsters are too long ago to be really familiar to kids today, and that the past ten years have been some real crazy shit!

“My name is Bella Swann. I’m a high school student who’s boyfriend bites people. So in real life that would probably mean he’d have to be on medications.”

Like I said for several years Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and a half dozen Twilight movies were like the next biggest thing to full government disclosure on the UFO invasion. We were living in rough times and needed some kind of distraction. It’s what entertainers do and we love them for it (even if we sometimes hurt the ones we love). Basically people took this Twilight shit a bit more seriously than they should have. When the two popular young stars began seeing each other in real life people took to it like the second coming of Charles & Diana. Fandom practically had the pair married, living in a haunted house, and holding black masses together. When Kristy’s inevitable happy event would be declared the only question would be not “boy or girl?“, but “vampire or were wolf?” even though dating the same guy since you were seventeen and then marrying him at 22 isn’t even the American Dream in a trailer park. Still the whole teen opera kept movie goers on the edge of their seats and made some good coin. Now how could that possibly go wrong?

So next you’re gonna tell me Pam Anderson’s tits ain’t real!

Kristen was looking for a follow up from from Twilight and a new franchise reared it’s head in her direction. It was Snow White and the Huntsman. It was directed by a fellow named Rupert Saunders. he’s the most hated man in the Twilight Netherverse. You see basically while Kristy was enjoying her new found franchise and thinking to herself “How fucking lucky can I get?” she did something that shocked and disappointed her legions of Twilight True Believers. She committed an indiscretion with her director Mr Saunders. Now Kristen is a 22 year old woman working in an industry not known for monogamy or anything but in this case what she did was wrong for three reasons: Rupert wasn’t Robert Pattinson, he wasn’t even Taylor Lautner, and he was ( and currently still is) married. So her flirtation, though ordinarily the stuff of Sex and the City episodes or Cosmo articles, became a stake through the heart of vampire Santa Claus. Oh yeah and a whole new term – “trampire”  – got coined.

More shit than can fit in a tin foil hat!

Now that had everyone doing what they do when something unexpected happens – making shit up. This time the public had some new brain circuitry to work with too – let’s call it the Paranoia Switchboard. People began struggling to make sense out of Krity’s bizarre behavior so all kinds of wacko theories started circulating. They were theories like “Rob & Kristy were only pretending to be in love as part of a nefarious studio scheme to bilk the public out of money“, or “She was set up“, Some people thought that the photos had been manufactured by Photoshop. In fact it might even have been some plot by a rival studio to sink the franchise. You know what those deceitful bastards are like with their trick photography. Maybe the paparazzi even lured her into a compromising situation so that the could sell rags by getting everyone to misconstrue something that was really totally innocent anyway. Then there was the good ole reliable “It never happened” & “They’re gay“.

Let’s see Tila Tequila explain this one!

Now the pleasure of a good conspiracy theory is understandable. My only question is “why not go completely nuts?” For instance maybe Kristy is a MK Ultra mind controlled monarch slave and Rupert got to her with one of those sneaky little trigger phrases? Some innocent figure of speech like “I don’t bite” might have had the bells and lights in Kristy’s head going off until she couldn’t remember the difference between “Robert” & “Rupert“. The names are so similar, and especially when you’re in a trance induced dissociative state, that a girl can become confused! Besides Kristy has to be Illuminati. For one thing Stewart is a very old an revered occult bloodline name. It goes right back to the day when Scottish wizard King James 1 embedded satanic messages into the protestant Bible. In fact James Stewart was the guy who invented backward masking. If you don’t believe me then just say the Lord’s Prayer backwards and see what happens!

It makes sense if you think about it a little after sniffing a lot of glue.

For that matter the girl in the picture might not have even been the real Kristen Stewart. Since Kristy is undoubtedly Illuminati then she was probably a twin. The occult world loves twins and often artificially induces them by injecting expectant mothers with enzymes (code named “witch’s brew“, and not to be confused with “witches’ brew” which causes autism). Some where along the line the other Kristen Stewart escaped from the freedom train. Then years later showed up and decided to wreak her terrible revenge by getting herself mistaken for her famous and favored sister in that infamous picture. So there you have it – this is obviously an “evil twin” scenario! Of course Kristen couldn’t explain. For one thing she probably doesn’t know about her evil twin. Being the innocent girl she is when she saw those pictures in the paper she just assumed that it must be her because who else could it be? If she couldn’t remember the incident, it’s because missing time is no big deal for a young woman with her background. Besides she probably believes everything she reads in the entertainments rags, like for instance she’s in love with RPatz!

Coming Soon – Twilight: Awakening! Thank you Kristen Stewart (and that includes your evil twin too *wink wink*).

Upshot is that this whole thing might be going a little too far. Stewart didn’t toss a baby off of a cliff, or an old woman under a bus. She’s a 22 year old actress who slept with her director. I hear that sort of thing happens in Hollywood from time to time. Her major sin was not sticking with the same guy since when was 17. That is something that happens almost nowhere in modern American, not even in Hollywood. Does she deserve a break? I don’t know that. It’s a question for hysterical and paranoid movie goers to decide. I can only say one thing personally “Kristen Stewart, thank you for keeping the conspiracy alive!” I just hope this whole thing doesn’t do to The Vampire Diaries what Pres Obama did to the conspiracy movement.

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Happy Wondertrash New Year – gossip is back with a vengance!

Brangie takes it to the next level – from “will they or won’t they?” to “have they or haven’t they?”

It’s been an eventful time while I’ve taken a little Christmas break. For one thing Brangie is allegedly hitched up or something.Now Brangie is the couple better known as Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie. They’ve kept everyone in suspense ever since Mr & Mrs Smith came out. Even though there was never any kind of official confirmation for years and years – people still suspected that the they were c a couple. Maybe that’s because so many kids kept coming out of the relationship.

Well rumour has it that they couple who’ve made a career out of playing it coy for the cameras may, or may not, have gotten hitched over Xmas. They were vacationing down at Turks and Caicos when there was a gathering of relatives.Brad parent’s sister and brother showed up. So did Jolie’s brother James Haven. That’s got Micahel K over @ DListed saying – in a sarcastically non committal way – that something might have happened.


Something there’s no speculation about is Kim Kardashian. She’s been seeing Kanye West for awhile.There’s no speculation because and unlike Brangie, Kanye isn’t keeping anyone guessing. During his Atlantic City Concert he yelled to the crowd “Stop the music and make some noise for my baby mama,” or something to that effect, before pointing at Kardashian, who was in the crowd. Well that is after a brief interruption by Taylor Swift, who hopped up on the stage to assure Kanye & Kim that they would get there moment. She’s been waiting along time for that.

Now Kanye sometimes gets a little carried away on stage. So to make the announcement celebrity official it got released on Twitter.

“Congrats to Kim and Kanye. Happy for both of them…,” Russell Simmons tweeted, while the Kardashians all showed their joy for the newest member of the family. “Im a happy girl !!!!!!!!! Wowza! Oh BABY BABY BABY,” Kris Jenner tweeted.

 Khloé Kardashian Odom wrote, “Keeping secrets is hard with so many family members! Especially when you are so freaking excited!!!!! LOVE is everything!!!!” Kourtney Kardashian also went to Twitter with, “Been wanting to shout from the rooftops with joy and now I can! Another angel to welcome to our family. Overwhelmed with excitement!”

Plus E OnLine is confirming the story.

LAX Bladder actor get pissy

This next story is a real ‘live leak”. That because Twilight actor Bronson Pelletier had an attack of aggressive bladder syndrome while pasing through the airport down in Los Angeles. I guess Pelletier’s pipes needed a little LAX – so he decided to take the pressure off int he msot direct wqay possible. In this case that meant whipping it out where he stood and letting fly while a near by cell phone cam captured the scene for the eyes of the world. Now let’s have a gander at that!

Now you’d never have believed it without video would you?The Canadian actor was apparently drunk off his ass and stagger around when a  security guard came up to ask him what was what. That’s when Bronson got pissy – literally. As horrified by standers gasped “O my God” Bronson unleashed right there over the floor. That caused airport police to swing into swift and brutal action – which left Pelletier handcuffed and lying on the floor in a pool of his own piss.

Bronson Pelletier publically urinates at LAX
A Twilight actor gets pissy, and it ain’t Kristen Stewart!

Pelletier has been charged with one count of drunk in public and is to be arraigned on that on Jan 7 – about ten days before his meth charges & cocaine charges get a hearing. The reason Pelletier was wandering aimlessly through LAX with his dick hanging out is because he was kicked off his flight – for being too drunk to fly. You can read more about that over @ DailyMail.

So that’s the shit that’s fit to print.

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Justin Bieber & Selena Gomez Back On: Hold Hands At AMA’s

& Now something to balance out the Chris & Rihanna reunion!

There’s very good news for all you Bieber believers out there. The news seemed pretty bleak for a while. That’s because Justin Bieber and his pretty girl friend Selena Gomez were on the outs. Selena’s people issued some kind of a press release saying that the junior power couple were splitzville cause Selena was having some trust issues with the Bieb. That was bad timing because The Bieber had just giving a big interview in which he proclaimed his love for Gomez and talked about how proud he was to take thing public with her. The bust up announcement came before the interview got aired so it made things look kind of bad for Bieber.

However true love has prevailed – just like in the Twilight universe, with this recent announcement that Justin and Selena are back on again. Just watch this short video from TMZ for confirmation, and then relax and settle back into a feeling of well being that comes from knowing the universe is in harmony!

Although those little rascals did have me worried for awhile!

Justin TV

Justin and Selena’s teeny bopper break up had to be the biggest news since Kristen Stewart turned trampire and cheated on poor Robert Pattinson, or since Wonder Woman kissed Superman. Wonder Woman swears on her Amazonite bracelets that he kissed her, & that kissing a man “wasn’t that bad” – “I just closed my eyes and imagined Katy Perry!“. Official word from the Man of Steel‘s people is that Diana was on him like a dog on a fire hydrant the minute his guard was down, and it was as much as he could do to eventually restrain her! In fact sources close to the MoS claim he says that for a while it was like Wonderlips thought that she was a Baywatch lifeguard taping a rescue scene with poor hapless Supes as a drowning victim to be mouth massaged back to life. AS for Justin & Selena you can read the score card of their bust ups and reunions over @ EOnLine! It’s compelling reading that you just can’t miss!

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Miley Cyrus & boyfriend swap heads!

Ever since Miley Cyrus gave up her career for her boyfriend – well that’s not exactly true because her career sort of petered out on it’s own – she just hasn’t been able to get enough of the big lug. It’s like she’s developed some kind of clingy needy co dependent attachments to the guy. For instance she’s posted a number of annoying tweets about their relationship to the effect of “why doesn’t he love me like I love him“, “I guess I have to accept he can never love me like I love him“, “I can’t take the fact that he doesn’t appreciate me personally“, “I guess I have to learn to love myself but I can’t cause I love him too much” etc. Boyfriend finally put his foot down and told her to knock it the fuck off and stay away from twitter  She did a for about 2 days and then started posting more passive aggressive shit. Lets face it – it would take the talent of a Taylor Swift to turn those tweets into a successful career!

Basically Miley resents the fact that her boyfriend has a life of his own or any independent existence apart from her. That can pose relationship problems for a ferociously needy person. Fortunately Miley is determined & has hit upon a solution. She and her guy have had their heads surgically swapped! It’s anew technique originally developed in Hollywood to give over the hill actresses a new lease on life by harvesting the heads of younger up and coming actresses (just imagine Kristen Stewart head glumly frowning away from atop Julia Roberts during some Vanity Fair interview and insisting “now we’re practically Bette Davis! “), but is now being offered as an option for impulsive celebrity couples who want to take it to the next level. So far there have been few takers but Beverly Hills surgeons believe that if they can get Brad & Angelina to go for this then it might catch on. Here’s the Miley results!

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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Lindsay on the town

It’s been a rough week for Lindsay Lohan. She got in that fist fight with her mother over the $40 000 she lent mom so Dina wouldn’t get tossed out on the street. That was a pretty rough limo ride that ended with a visit from the cops. That’s cause Lindz phoned her dad Michael and he phoned the cops. he also taped the call and sold it to TMZ the next day or something. It’s jsut not easy being Lindsay (only being Kristen Stewart is more challenging – so some day soon those two should start hangin together. Kris is more than capable of keeping lindz supplied in weed though Lindz could be a bad influence on Stewie. the pair would be bound to wind up in rehab toether!).

So naturally Lindz needed to get out and let her hair down. That she did just recently  -within 24 hours – at the Chateau Marmont, her favorite spot in the whole world! She can stand up right with only slight assistance too!

Now you can’t blame Lindz for cutting loose. It’s been rough for her lately with family problems and work set backs. The Liz Taylor deal is the first paying gig she’s had since stripping off for Playboy. Plus she’s been handing out the cash hand over fist to her mom. Now if she’d give cash to an irresponsible lunatic like Dina Lohan then who wouldn’t she give money to? So she might be supporting a half dozen or so low lifes, dead beats, & drop outs! The result is that Lindz is in straightened circumstances. She goes out because she doesn’t even have a decent room to come home to – this is the bedroom in Lindz current digs!

Man that’s rough – if that was your place you’d go out and get drunk too!

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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Rob Pattinson Dating Sienna Miller’s Sister, Savannah

Despite reports that Robert Pattinson is back with Kristen Stewart, a new report suggest that he’s dating a mystery girl. Rob was spotted at Electric room in NYC with his new girl which is rumored to be Sienna Miller‘s sister.

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Robert Pattinson makes new friends

Robert Pattinson has been making new friends ever since Kristen Stewart shocked the world & the Twilight Fandom Netherverse by cheating on him with her Snow White director Rupert Saunders. You’ll recall that Kristy was photoed making out with Saunders and then had to do a public mea culpe. Fans were more furious than democrats following the last presidential debate. It looked like Spiltsville with an option on heartbreak hotel as the U Haul lugged Stewart’s shit out of Pattinson’s home, and Stewie took his dog Bear hostage.

Stewie & Patzy patched it up, in time for the Twilight Breaking Up Part 2 promotional tour. So that had the fanverse split. Half figured that this was some PR spin move for the sake of the movie, and protecting Kristen Stewart’s fan base – an important movie industry asset. The other half wonder when Pattinson was gonna buy the ring and the pair would start popping out their brood of dark spawn. The latter were the ones who never stopped believing in Santa Claus, they just thought he grew fangs as they got older.

Rob, 26, was seen at New York City’s Electric Room with the sexy unidentified blonde at 3 a.m. on October 6. His arm was draped around her, and it totally looked like he was getting flirty!

Well it looks like the other shoe has finally dropped. Patzy was spotted out and about recently. He was busy nuzzling up with some mystery girl too. From the fuzzy pictures that are making the rounds we can’t actually be sure of who he’s with – maybe it’s not really a chick. One thing we can be relatively sure about is that it ain’t the love of his life, Vampira. This one’s a blondie.

Now steady on Twilight fans cause this might not be what it seems. Perhaps Patzy got a little peckish and was drawing some blood from a victim’s neck!

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Kristen Stewart Ditches Robert Pattinson For Daddy-Daughter Florence & T…

Kristen Stewart Ditches Robert Pattinson For Daddy-Daughter get together

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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