Does Justin Bieber need rehab?

When the going gets shitty, the shitty get going!

Back in my high school days there was a brief fad for food fights.It would start out innocently. Some one would flick a French fry at some one else. Their victim would retaliate by throwing a French fry back. Then the instigator would throw another to show that they weren’t easily deterred. Then things would escalate. They’d throw a fry with ketchup. Then other people would get involved. Soon Jello pudding was flying around the cafeteria. We’d get back to class spattered in spaghetti, pudding, ketchup, and with whatever else might have been flying around, to enjoy the looks of consternation on our teachers’ faces. We’d also imagine the shit our teachers would get from our parents every time we arrived home from school with ruined clothing. We were young and assholes, and the teachers ran a pretty loose ship. Another school might have banned lunch and explained that food wasn’t a right but a privilege that we had to earn through good behavior.

Then one day a new student got in on the act. The food fight started as usual, with some one throwing something that they didn’t want to eat at some one they didn’t like. Within five minutes the air was thick with stuff being tossed willy nilly around the cafeteria. So our new kid sees this, gets up, drops his pants, and craps in his hand. He then hollers out Shit fight” as he tosses the turd right into he middle of the action.

Naturally everyone was startled. The girl that got hit with the shit nearly had a seizure. She was a pretty popular cheerleader and used to a certain amount of deference. When she realized that it wasn’t fudge brownie or cafeteria gravy covering the upper part of her blouse and the lower half of her face she began shaking, screaming and crying. You’d have thought Tonya Harding had just clobbered Nacny Kerrigan! The school nurse had to take her away to the office to calm her down. She missed the rest of that week. As for the guy – he was later diagnosed with something, Aspergers or Teenage Twitch Syndrome, so it wasn’t his fault. He was just one of those people who shouldn’t have been let out in public.So he got a course behavior modifying medications. The teachers were pleased though. There was never another food fight after that.

That brings us to the very latest on Justin Bieber. As you may or may not have heard the pop star is lurching towards 5150. No one wants to see it come to that. So the talk has already turned to rehab. See the Beibs may have some substance abuse issues. For instance when he recently got arrested after going fast & furious down in Florida he had the usual cocktail of celebrity bad influences flowing through his veins like melted cheese at a high school food fight. There was alcohol, and he’s underage, so that’s issue 1. There was also marijuana in his system, which is still mildly illegal in some more backward areas. So that’s issue 2. He was also on anti depressants (because what else to you give a 19 year old rich as shit pop star?), so that’s issue 3. Add dad into he picture.  Then barring off a city street so you can give the Lamborghini a drunken spin must’ve seemed like a pretty good idea. If he was trying to get a mug shot, then it was a very effective idea!

That leads us to an article (Baptized by Rehab) on Pajiba by Courtney Enlow. She has some pretty strong feelings about Justin Bieber & rehab. She claims that rehab not only saves the lives of the addict, but also the people close to them who have driven hem to drink and who are plagued by their addictions. So sending Bieber there would trivialize rehab. Judging by her bitchy strident tone it sounds like Ms Enlow can be a bit of a pill to live with. Especially when she’s unleashing an opinion! Anyway Courtz says that Beiber is just being a spoiled little jerk. And there’s no rehab for that. So it’s just one of those celebrity face saving techniques – like community service back in the olden days!

Back then when celebs got clipped at something naughty they didn’t get hospitalized. Instead they got 100 hours or so of ComServe. It was hoped that the sheer humiliation of cleaning toilets or waiting on the homeless and other of their social inferiors would jerk their ferocious pride and snap them out of it. It might even make them more appreciative of being a celebrity! Then celebs discovered that ComServe was good PR. So that took the sting out of it. After that it was time to escalate to other more intrusive measures like shrinks, health care workers, and the whole intervention rehab carousel!

So what will we do about Justin Bieber? He’s no more obnoxious than the average 19  year old. Of course the average 19 year old doesn’t have millions of dollars to work with. So rehab and intervention might be a bit harsh. Maybe he’ll grow out of it. Like Miley Cyrus has just done! However if something more radical is needed then maybe he could get some worthwhile life experience (other than smearing melted cheese over strippers’ rear ends) by going to college or something? He’d get to meet non celebrities of his own age, and maybe even learn something useful. It worked for Prince William didn’t it? Of course he’s radio active now, so it might have to be a university overseas, & possibly in France.

Maybe other celebs could form some kind of support system for him. He’s taken the heat off of the rest of them by single handed fueling the public need to indulge in ‘justified’ hatred. So that’s got be worth something to people like Chris Brown for instance. Maybe he’ll even settle into a relationship with a decent girl who’ll bring out his kinder gentler side. It worked for Prince William didn’t it?

The one thing we can take away from this is that if you want public sympathy then getting busted drunk in a Lamborghini is a poor way to get it!

Critics think that Jsutin Bieber has become a spoiled self entitled little jerk like Bart Simpson but with millions of dollars to work with

Everyone is excited about Wonder Woman! She’s tall, glamorous and fights crime in a  skimpy costume. So it’s easy to get excited. People are also very excited about Gal Gadot! That’s because she’s tall, glamorous, and has been chosen to play Wonder Woman, possibly in a skimpy outfit. Whether or not she’s gonna be playing Wonder Woman in a skimpy costume (& we can only hope), she has been signed to play her in 3 pictures, including a Wonder Woman stand alone movie. Not everyone is on board with the New Wonder Woman. They question whether she looks enough  like Wonder Woman to play the part. Well here’s a side by side Gal Gadot Wonder Woman comparison, so you can be the judge!

Gal Gadot and her alter ego Wonder Woman in a side by side comparison
Gal Gadot & her alter ego Wonder Woman: Can you tell the difference?


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Justin Bieber Arrested for DUI

Courtesy of Dade County Corrections

There’s news about Justin Bieber and it’s not good which is to say it’s bad. To put it in a nutshell Justin and his dad Jeremy were down in Florida with the posse hanging out and doin’ some under aged drinking. There was booze, weed, and prescription pills involved. Some time around 4 AM the combination of bad influences lead to TeamBieber closing off the street outside his residence and doing some drag racing in a rented Lamborghini. That lead to an unauthorized police escort and an eventual mugshot for Mr Bieber. It also lead to a court appearance in which his driver’s license was suspended (he has another from Georgia but that’s suspended too), and he got hit with $2500 bail or something. Plus he has multiple tags trending on Twitter right now, like #deportbieber.

Now here’s the rest of the bad news courtesy of youtube!

Now some might say that getting busted in a Lamborghini is taking a million dollar ride to the Dade County jail. It would’ve been doing it in style too if it wasn’t for the wall to wall tabloid coverage. Howe ever I hear that there is another reason behind Bieber’s DUI arrest. Supposedly he was trying to reach time travel velocity, just like Back To The Future. The idea being that he could return to a point before he became an international pop star. Then he could warn himself to stop making those youtube videos. After that life would return to some thing resembling normal, instead of speeding hell bent for leather towards a 5150. AS Justin’s mom said in her press release – “pray for him”.

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