Gossip Overload

Heather Locklear hospitalized

Things are heating up so hold on to your hats. 1stly Heather Locklear is back in hospital. She’s had an off and on battle with booze and pills for over 15 years. She kept it a well hidden secret by drinking on the sly and checking into hotels with a sobriety coach to dry out. It came to light back when her ex Richie Sambora started seeing Charlie Sheen ex Denise Richards. The strain may have been too much for Locklear and she went off the wagon. That’s when her years of secret drinking got out.

The on and off battle is on again with a vengeance. TMZ is reporting that Heather has been admitted to hospital for a booze and pills overdose. Heather’s sister found her and phoned authorities on 2:05 PM. That’s when the Verntura County Sheriff’s Dept got involved. Paramedics who arrived on the scene decided Heather needed to be hospitalized. This comes on the heels of her bust up with former Melrose Place co star Jack Wagner.

Lindsay Lohan – Lien on me

Locklear isn’t the only celeb having a hard time of it lately. Lindsay Lohan specializes in hard times and things are now getting seriously hairy for her. She’s had her brushes with the law from time to time, and usually she comes out ahead. This time the big guns are pointed straight her way. The big guns in question belong to the IRS, and these dudes don’t mess around.

Now everyone who’s been following Lindz knows that she’s run into some serious fiscal trouble lately. That’s because she’s been out of work for awhile. Paying of a pack of lawyers to keep her ass out of jail didn’t help the situation. Some stories have had her bumming money out of friends at the super market check out so that she could afford her Ben & Jerry’s. Her current situation is more serious. Seems that she owes Uncle Sam about $93 000 that she neglected to pay. SO the IRS is putting a lien on her.

Lindz, through her spokes persons, says that shew as unaware of the problem. That’s believable, since for one thing she’s had a lot of plates spinning. Sources also say that the tax bill got lost in the shuffle – Lindz recently replaced most of her financial management. The problem should be easy to fix. Lindz recently got a million dollar pay day for doffing her duds in Playboy. Besides, if things really get rough there’s always Dancing With the Stars!

Sinead O Connor in crisis

A mess with the IRS is bad but it could be worse. It seems to be for radical Irish songstress Sinead O Conner. If you’re beyond a certain age you’ll remember that she’s the one who tore up a picture of the Pope on SNL to protest Andrew Dice Clay’s participation in the show! Clay’s Jewish so it didn’t really make sense – but it was a long time ago.

Lately Sinead’s been erratic. Things started out innocently enough. She had a gig to cut some tracks for some new album. She got herself a Twitter account about the same time. At first the tweets were straight forward – the “hi how are ya” kind. There was even a good dose of self effacing humour – “I’m a gal you can take anywhere twice, the second time to apologize“. Then things started spiraling out of control.

Sinead got married to some guy. It only lasted 16 days. Then she started tweeting about how she needed a man real bad, especially if he was Robert Downey jr! She tweeted that she was developing some strange preoccupations with fresh supermarket produce, what without a good man being handy. Finally she took to the Tweet to ask her followers if they knew any good shrinks in the Dublin/Wicklow area. She explained that she was crying out to the world because Ireland is a poor place to look for help. Well it’s now been revealed that Sinead has attempted suicide a couple of times recently – once by overdose after a performance in LA last Thursday, in which Glenn Close was in attendance! Hopefully things will improve for O Connor.

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Michael Lohan Arrested for Felony Domestic Violence

Michael Lohan: Fame is an octagon

It’s seems like trouble is the Lohan family business. On that score Lindsay seems to be the main bread winner with her frequent legal run ins and rehab stints. Papa Mikey is no slouch when it comes to rowdy hell raising himself. Mike has this problem which is that he occasionally likes to go ape shit on what ever woman is brain damaged enough to be dating him at the time. Like Kate Major. Kate was some kind of reporter or something with Star Magazine who got hooked up with and then dumped by Jon Gosselin. She rebounded on to Mike Lohan. I’d call that a case of sloppy seconds except that Major hasn’t qualified as ‘seconds‘ for many many helpings. She’s more like that thing festering in tinfoil at the back of the refrigerator.

Anyhow they were getting along famously and Kate was saying Lohan was the great love of her life, just the way she was saying Jon Gosselin was the great love of her life. It’s a lady’s perogative to change her mind – so Kate might as well try it too. Things were going along hunky dory until some one got drunk, we’re not sure who but it could have been both of them, and then the shit hit the fan. The story that trickled down to the public via twitter, the internet, and supermarket tabs, was that Mikey got home all liquored up and found Kate drunk and out cold in an arm chair. one thing lead to another as such situations often do and soon Kate was sprawled on the floor and the cops were on the way. This couldn’t have happened at a worse time for Mikey since he only had 2 weeks left on his probation for some previous domestic assault type incident.

Some guys never win. In Mikey’s case it’s more like some guys never learn. That’s because it appears lover boy has pulled another one of his patented shit for brains stunts. The details are so far sketchy, but it goes something like this:

“Mr. Lohan was arrested after we received a call around 9 p.m. regarding a domestic dispute. He was detained after he was spotted walking on the street near our station. He showed no signs of intoxication that I’m aware of and has been cooperative.”

At least that’s the version Lt. John Ratto gave People Magazine. Maybe Lt Latto is some kind of celebrity liaison officer. The slightly more detailed version as Lohan assaulting an unnamed victim. Lohan thens tarted complaining about an “unrelated medical condition” – I’m guessing chest pains. So he was rushed over to Cedars Sinai Hospital. He’s currently laying low there while he contemplates his next move.

That next move better involve a way to raise a hughnomous wad of cash, ’cause this time the police are holding him on 200 000 bail. It’s gonna be tough for Mikey to pull in those kind of funds since Lindsay is the oly one in the family with any kind of income. Her income is currently tied up in rehab bills and lawyers fees, stemming from her own particular brand of mayhem.

So look on the bright side – Japan may be about to go nuclear, the mid east may be dissolving in turmoil, Charlie Sheen is threatening to unleash violent torpedoes of truth on the nation in the form of a cross country stand up tour, and Donald Trump may be poised to run for office on a Sarah Palin presidential ticket; but at least Michael Lohan is off the streets and in some kind of supervised environment for an indefinite period of time. Every once in a blue moon the system works! There could even be an up side to this. Mikey might eventually earn his own living by pitching a reality TV concept where he fights other D List celebs! They could call the show Michael Lohan’s Starwhackers! It’d beat American Idol to hell!

Firecrotch Redhanded

As for the second most troubled member of the Lohan clan, Lindsay is set to pull a Mel & plead no contest to her jewelry stealing charges. Her mother Dina emphasizes that o contest is not the same as guilty – it’s completely different in the way that not guilty doesn’t mean innocent. She then goes on to call LA a fucked up town – that’s not news but saying it won’t make her any friends, and talk about some imaginary film projects she’s considering for her daughter.

Personally I’d recommend a few whacked out calls to Alex Jones (make sure to frequently mention starwhackers) followed by a Lindsay Lohan nation wide stand up tour. They could call it “Sticky Fingers“, or if the Rolling Stones get pissed over that then maybe “Firecrotch Red Handed“. Read about that over @ Zimbio!

wondertrash

Paris Hilton prosecutor busted in coke deal



https://i2.wp.com/img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2011/news/110404/david-schubert-320.jpgParis Hilton is a gal who gets in and out of trouble. Like Lindsay Lohan she usually gets away with it. Usually it’s because she always lands on her feet. Sometimes one of her 9 lives comes in handy. Then there are those other occasions when her deal with darkness must be responsible. Like lately.

Paris has a fondness for the kind of party favours that you can’t get at your local 5 & dime variety store – not unless there’s a twitchy homeless guy standing right outside the door. These are the kind of party favours that can get you in a bit of trouble with the law. Trouble is what Paris got when she got nabbed with a significant amount of cocaine in a purse she later claimed wasn’t hers – even though it had all her ID in it. Naturally Paris had to go off for another one of those smashing mugshots of hers. She was then set free to continue with her own special brand of celebrity mayhem!

As usual when Ms. Hilton is involved things can take strange and unexpected turns. Like in this case. Paris was tried for her hard partying ways by a Las Vegas prosecutor named David Charles Schubert, 47. In fact he’s more than a prosecutor – he’s a chief deputy DA. He’s no stranger to publicity either since he also threw the book at Bruno Mars over his cocaine related misdoings. So he’s had some previous experience with drug busts and the kind of bad PR they can bring. No previous experience could’ve prepared him for what was about to happen – though he really should’ve known.

Seems that Dave was out and about, on the street as it were, when he ran into an old acquaintance. Never one to breeze past one of the little people Dave stopped to pass the time of day. One thing lead to another and pretty soon the chief deputy DA was making a drug deal. By drug deal I mean that the dude was buying crack.

Now there’s no shame in that. Chief Deputy DA is a rough job high on demands and with tons of pressure. You’re only as good as your last win because those hungry jaws poised just above you on the food chain are expecting results and not excuses. So sometimes having something that gives you a little added edge – like Popeye with his spinach – makes everyone happy. Everyone except for the poor buggers who get sent to the klink!

It’s a victimless crime and if no body sees it then no body gets mad. However in this case the aforementioned David Charles Schubert made a whopper of a mistake – he did let some one see him do it. The person who saw this dirty little deed go down was probably the worst person in the world to be standing near by when you’re buying dope off of a street dealer – and that’s and undercover cop! According to the Las Vegas Review Journal

Schubert was arrested by a Las Vegas police patrol officer about 4:51 p.m. near Desert Inn Road and Maryland Parkway.

The patrol officer saw what he thought was a drug transaction and stopped Schubert’s vehicle near Sierra Vista Drive and Cambridge Street, police said.

The result was that Schubert was whisked off to the very same facility that Hilton and Mars were taken to, and for much the same treatment: finger printing, mugshot, and I assume strip search followed by anal cavity exam. Officers of the court need to be held to higher standards so we don’t want anyone thinking he got off easy by slipping something up his sleeve, or up anything else!

So far Schubert is being cooperative – a really aggressive anal cavity exam will to that to you. However that attitude is a little after that fact. Since he got caught red – or white -handed, the prosecutors are going at him. His boss DA David Roger is particularly disappointed. He expressed his disapproval in the following terms:

“It’s disheartening to know the individual who I assigned to prosecute high-level drug cases is allegedly using rock cocaine. His future is bleak with the district attorney’s office.”

I haven’t heard such strong language since the last time I brought home a report card! The fact that Schubert was named to a high level Las Vegas anti drug task force probably heightens the disappointment. No one wants to think about a fox guarding the hen house scenario!

Not everyone is appalled and disgusted with this so called law enforcement officials sleazy shenanigans. Schubert’s erstwhile adversary – the Red Baron to his Snoopy – has spoken out in support of the disgraced, and by now tweaking like crazy, prosecutor. David Chesnoff is a hi profile Vegas attorney who’s crossed words with Schubert in both the Hilton and Mars cases. Chesnoff had this to say about his fallen adversary!

“I’m a big believer in the Constitution. I believe everyone is innocent until proven guilty. And I always root for the underdog. I will say this: David’s always been a real professional and always treated me with respect, so I wish him the best.”

Well there you go – trouble comes when you least suspect it and you find friends where you never thought to look. That ought’a do as a moral to this sad and sorry cautionary tale. That is unless you wanna make something out of it like – LEGALIZE DRUGS ALREADY! Then again others like a more traditional moral like “Men who live in glass house better not throw rocks – even if they’re rocks of cocaine“. As for myself, I’ll go for something more common sense and nonjudgmental, like “Make sure that your own nose is clean before you go sticking it into other people’s business!. Unless you’re an entertainment blogger that is – then go for it!

wondertrash

Money Never Sleeps & Marriage Comes Back To Haunt You

Happy ever after in the market place

Money and marriage seem to go together like love & marriage in the movies. Why not since we are living in the real world, or at least the material one. So naturally when folks get hitched up money issues get highlighted. That’s why the legal profession thought up the pre nup as a form of marriage insurance. Now a famous Hollywood ex wife is helping the law talking guys dream up some new precedents that could impact the way movies get made, for better or for worse.

Deandre Douglas is the ex wife of Michael Douglas. She was his wife back when he had a booming movie career instead of cancer. They split up some where along the way and the usual financial arrangements got made. Deandre went away quietly and Michael went off with a woman who’s seldom quiet. That’s Happily Ever After on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams.

Fast forward several years. Michael is still hitched up to Catherine Zeta Jones. He’s also make a motion picture come back with Wall Street 2 – Money Never Sleeps. The sequel is an idea you can bank on in Tinsel Town cause it’s like betting on success. The people who enjoyed you’re previous work will probably come out to see you “to be continued” stuff. That is unless you got drunk, went nuts, and turned racist or something. Then forget about it. Your celebrity career will consist of nothing but beating up your Russian girlfriend and getting your mug shot taken. But enough about Andy Dick.

Wall Street 2 did pretty good because Michael Douglas is a very talented actor director producer screen writer etc. That’s just the stuff he takes credit for and not including writing the musical score and working out some snappy choreography that unfortunately never made it in. Plus he’s a nice guy by Hollywood standards, which translates into not usually a jerk in man in the street terms. So the flick made some money.

That’s where Deandre comes in, and out of the wood work. She’s suing mike for a piece of the action. “Didn’t she get paid off already?” many of you might be asking. Sure she did. Mike might be a strong willed sex addicted ego maniac but he’s not a stinge. Then why is she coming back dogging an ill man? Well as usual there’s a catch.

the better half better have!

According to divorce law when a couple splits the better half is entitled to everything the more valuable half earned during their years together. Mike & Didi split up years ago and back when Catherine Zeta was a mere 40 year old slip of a thing. However Wall Street 2 is the sequel to a movie made when Mike was with Didi. So she’s arguing that this is a continuation of the first film. So it’s covered by community property. So she should get half of Michael’s take from the flick.

It’s an interesting legal argument that might have some basis. The idea is that this is a totally separate project. The reality is that this plays on some past work. A good portion of the film’s success comes from people having enjoyed the previous film. Deandre is entitled to her share from the original, so she has an argument for a piece of this. Whether her lawyers can get a judge to agree with that is a matter for the courts.

This is where the story gets interesting. Hollywood has been running out of good ideas ever since American writers stopped doing good novels and Andrew Lloyd Weber killed Broadway. With the usual sources of good ideas gone that makes sequels an important source of new screenplay material. So tons of these things get made. Most of them aren’t as watchable as anything Michael Douglas might do.

Now it’s no secret that almost everyone in Hollywood is as into serial marriage as they are into making sequels. It’s also common knowledge that divorces cost the big players a bundle. Steven Spielberg got taken for half his net worth when Amy Irving cut him loose. That was about 100 million at the time. Pre nups were supposed to provide the big boys with some kind of coverage. However if this goes through and sets precedent then no one’s safe anymore. That means every time some one pumps out some sequel from some thing done tens years or so ago, then the ex and her jackals could come out of the wood work to open old wounds. Since no one wants that this means the death of the sequel!

Since sequels are totally over done and an excuse to get good money out of bad films, it might be worth rooting for Deandre. She could be the woman who kills the sequel. Id f she can pull that off then she’ll have changed the way that movies get made. No more resting on past laurels. That can only be good for the industry. Just think of a film industry with no more sequels. So they can get on to making other kinds of flicks. Like stuff based on comic books, video games, and classic TV series. So you go girl!

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Curious Orange Eager Beavers

Here’s the 1st Wondertrash World Cup story. Seems that the wave of exuberance hitting international soccer community is now reaching criminal extremes! If you’ve been following the Cup and the surrounding stories then you may have heard of the Dutch supporters who show up to Netherlands matches in tight orange mini dresses. Since they’re all attractive young women this is getting some attention from the media – though not as much as it might if the mini dress wearers were a pack of stocky, balding, bearded, hairy chested middle aged males (the males would have larger boobs for one thing!). Marketing experts can’t think of everything.

The Orange Brigade finally got themselves really noticed. Seems a pair of the young Netherlands supporters got themselves arrested for parading around the stands in their gaudy skimpy glad rags. Not because they revealed anything, but because it was revealed that they were part of an unauthorized advertising campaign.

Now since the advertising in the World Cup is more valuable than Superbowl time, and even more tightly sown up, the powers that be didn’t take kindly to these surprise tactics. So the young ladies got arrested, hauled off, booked, and arraigned. The young women don’t seem to take their predicament very seriously. They were seen and photographed smirking throughout their arraignment. They even stated , for the press, that they can’t believe that they’re in trouble for this, and that they should be allowed to wear anything that they like. FIFA doesn’t see it that way, and has accused the young women, and the instigators behind them, of “ambush marketing“. Maybe they meant ‘bush marketing’. Anyway the whole thing is still up before the courts. That means even more attention to the Orange Gals, and their mysterious backers! One thing, it’s good that these young ladies weren’t part of a Canadian marketing scheme since we don’t need stories about the Beaver Patrol!

FIFA might be going over board by punishing initiative in this way. The most you can say about it is that it’s a crude, below the belt marketing ploy that succeeded in spite of it’s self. The success is largely because FIFA has drawn more attention to the stunt by prosecuting the women. Further more it sets up a ‘defiance against authority’ angle of the kind that PETA used to love: youthful women suppressed by a greedy cartel of international fuddy duddies. FIFA might have been better off letting this slide. The whole thing might have been worked out if a competitor sprays down the young lovelies with rival colours – maybe pink! That would have the added advantage of sopping wet young women squealing and wiggling around in your official standard!

Let it slide that is, unless these young women are involved in some kind of reality TV pilot. Given the new disturbing new rumours about around the world 16 year old Abby Sunderland – her broke ass father was pimping out a reality TV show while she was setting off seaward and unsupervised (give him a break, he’s broke & unemployable with 7 kids to support. If it worked out they’re rich – & the worst case scenario is one less mouth to feed) – reality TV might be a real possibility! In that case these little tramps should be punished to the fullest extent of the law, and beyond if possible. They’d be getting off easy – if what we’ve seen of reality TV is any indication participants might have a better chance with a case of terminal cancer.

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Shannon Price Round 2!

sole beneficiary


Shannon Price
has taken her conniving and money grubbing to the next level. Gary Coleman’s ex has submitted an addendum to Coleman’s will, purported hand writen by the late actor himself. The addendum makes Ms. Price the sole heir to Coleman’s. The document states that all and any monies, properties, bank accounts, earnings, model trains, vehicles, cars, toys, games, electronics, homes, other inheritances…,” should be left to Ms. Price exclusively. The document goes on to say that This I have done because of my personal selfishness and weakness and I love her with all my heart.“, supposedly in Gary’s words.

where’s there’s a will…


While it is still being debated whether or not Shannon had the right to disconnect Gary’s life support, the merry widow is claiming that she was still Gary’s common law wife despite their 2008 divorce. Shannon claims that they were still living together and that in fact they were continuing to have sexual relations right up to the bitter end. Well not the very end. She was too busy arranging photo ops of Gary’s corpse. Still that answers a question that was on people’s minds since Gary announced that he had married her. Though the pair were tight lipped over the sex question during Coleman’s life, it only took the promise of a possible windfall to get Price to own up about the sex thing. If there are any lingering doubts about the sex thing don’t worry; I’m sure that Ms. Price would even be willing to release a sex tape, supposing that suich a thing exists.

still in the will or grasping at straws?


The one fly in the ointment is the the document is dated 2007. Their divorce was in 2008. Shannon claims that they were still man and wife in all but name only. She further maintains that they continued to hold joint bank accounts and file joint returns together, but only up till 2008. They did file submit an extension for 2009 as “filing jointly”, but since that may have been filed as the relationship was disintegrating, it might not hold weight. Meanwhile yet another will has surfaced leaving Gary’s estate to a mystery woman. That could put a monkey wrench in Price’s plans for a return to Caesar’s Palace for more pampering! It also brings the Gary Coleman Will Fiasco to the Howard Hughes level of complexity. If too many of these documents surface the estate will be hung up for years, with no one benefiting.

Whoever said that you can’t blame someone for trying never ran into this bitch! If she keeps this shit up some one will be tempted to run into her, with a truck!

For the gory details hit the link to a copy of the purported will addendum – Price Coleman will.


On a side note I would like to say that I met Gary once briefly about a year back. It was @ the Yonge & Bloor Starbucks. I told him that I loved his work and thought he was way better than Different Strokes. He said I was the only one who truly understood him. He then quickly scribbled out a will on a napkin, leaving everything to me. I will be submitting this shortly. Why should I be the only one not in on a piece of the action?

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Wrongful Death

8 ways wondertrash can help you survive a plane crash

Gary Coleman – more opportunities than ever before & this time nothing to complain about!

Wrongful death is the theme as Gary Coleman’s parents take it to the next level. They started asking all sorts of questions following their estranged son’s suspicious death. Now Coleman’s parents made it clear that they weren’t blaming Gary’s ex wife Shannon Price. Explicitly not blaming a person is the sneaky way of blaming them – as if by pointing out that suspecting the person would be the reasonable thing to do but your not going to do it in spite of that. Besides they merely want closure.

Well spite aside, Gary’s parents now are suing for custody of the remains. That sounds a little odd since they were to interested in Gary while he was still alive and among us. In fact their had been a 25 year separation between them. Now that he’s gone they seem making up for lost time.

So what interest could they have in Gary Coleman’s body (besides releasing the autopsy video for cash?). Perhaps they wanted it tested to see if Shannon was poisoning him or something. That is unless they actually planned to have Coleman’s corpse stuffed and then taken on tour, in a last ditch effort to wring more money out of the hapless fellow. I will say this – fighting over the body is a poor way of getting closure. Another thing, this is something that Sophocles never anticipated in Antigone. Then again for clear portrayal of human nature inaction you have to resort to the Bible.

In other news David Carradine’s widow is suing over his death. Carradine was found in a Thai hotel hung by the neck in what appeared to have been a sex stunt gone wrong. Carradine had a history of sex related weirdness including trying to shoot him self in the groin with a blank cartridge. Carradine later commented on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson that he’d screwed up a perfectly good tattoo over that stunt.

History didn’t stop the conspiracy theories from growing. Soon kung fu message boards were posting that Carradine was a rogue shaolin master gone to Hong Kong to crush the Chinese mafia. He had been assignation on the way by black hand Taoists masters as Bruce Lee had been when he tried the same stunt decades earlier. Or so the story goes.

Well no his widow is getting in on the act. She’s suing the production company over wrongful death. I’m not sure what the basis for the suit is but it doesn’t seem to have anything to do with Kung fu conspiracies. It may not even have much to do with hotels letting in underage hookers – but the production company has more cash than the hookers. I guess the Widow Carradine has been in Hollywood too long to believe in conspiracies, & especially when there’s a buck to be made (to which she may even be entitled). There’s no people like show people, you know!

truths, half truths, and utter bull shit:

Wondertrash would like to confirm that the rumors are in fact true: Mel Gibson did briefly work in Australia under the screen name Randy Gibb!

Bridge on the captain!

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