Lindsay Lohan is still dodging bullets

Lindsay Lohan might be in serious shit. Back in June while she was filming Liz & Dick Lindz nailed an 18 wheeler on the Pacific Coast Highway. This was a major f up on many levels because for one thing she wasn’t supposed to be driving. The studio had sent some one to make sure that she was up and ready to get to work, and also to drive her. Lindz went on to claim that her assistant was driving when the accident occurred, even though multiple witnesses put Lohan behind the wheel.

Lindz has an answer for that. She’s been telling her friends that the cops are out to get her. Apparently she’s the target of some kind of legal vendetta. Now Lindsay is terrified of lanbding back in the pokey, & is afraid that one strike could blow things for her. That’s because she’s still on probation from her jewelry heist!

The jewelry heist was that misunderstanding a while back in which Lindsay walked out of a shop with some pricey bling. According to Lindsay the shop assistant was totally cool with her borrowing a necklace to wear to some event, as long as she returned it the next day. That sort of thing happens in Hollywood. You ride the red carpet in some borrowed jewels and then bring them back the following morning.

The shop owner said that they knew nothing about it and since the security cam showed Lohan breezing out with the necklace some legal problems ensued. One probable scenario is that the assistant let Lohan have the rocks on loan – after which shop keeper realized what had happened and panicked. You would too if you realized that an employ let Lindsay Lohan walk out wearing $18 000. Lohan got charged and put on probation by Judge Stephanie Sautner.

This is wear it gets complicated. Lindsay says she was driving when her Porsche hit that truck. However her assistant is saying that in fact Lohan was behind the wheel. That confirms multiple witness reports from the scene – police vendetta or not. Cops interviewed the fellow at the hospital where Lohan was being treated post crash and he confirmed that he was in the passenger seat. This also corroborates the truck driver‘s claim that Lindsay was behind the wheel – incidentally he’s currently got a law suit against Lohan. Not surprisingly Lohan swears that she was in the passenger seat.

So this puts things in a mess. For one thing Lohan is now suspected of lying to police. That’s a probation violation on her jewelry charge. The Santa Monica City Attorney is filing criminal charges against Lohan. That has the L.A. City Attorney’s Office gathering info on probation violation in the jewelry thing. Worst case scenario for Lindz is that she gets slapped with a probation violation and goes to jail. Lying to the cops can result in serious jail time. Since the cops took Lohan’s statement at the hospital right after the crash they’ve got it in writing, in their report. So this one could be a tough bullet to dodge.

BTW police also found a plethora of pills in Lindsay’s purse after the crash. Lindsay lawyer – the hardest working gal in her profession – Shawn Holley, has provided a doctor’s note for all of them! So any pill related charges have been dropped. As for Lindsay she’s already working on her cover story, claiming that she would never ever tell a lie, but was merely confused following the crash. Maybe Holley can get the same doc who signed off on the pills to cover the confusion angle. In the meantime bullet dodging has made legal drama Lindsay’s new job!

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Lindsay Lohan gets political

Atlas belched

Lindsay Lohan announced which candidate she’s supporting and I’ll give you a hint – she says it’s because the economy is important (she has been struggling with unemployment)! I’ll give you another hint – Tumblr Blogger Communism Kills alias Ayn Rand Paul Ryan is either having an aneurysm or has decided Lohan is a great underrated actress ever. If those cryptic clues don’t do it for you then just hit the damned link!

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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Watch Lindsay Lohan Age Before Your Eyes (VIDEO)

it seems like yesterday since she’s been around forever

It seems like Lindsay Lohan has been around forever. That’s because she started young. At an early age she was sold into celebrity bondage while still a child. Some blame her parents for this. Now that’s kind of harsh. They didn’t send her up in a balloon or anything, while negotiating with CNN for rights to exclusive child in distress video footage. Nor was she one of a multi embryo celebrood spawned specifically for the purposes of reality TV! Still her parents probably didn’t do much to help. That’s why she’s had to rely on the kindness of strangers over the years, like such as Dr. Drew. Perhaps those high minded meddlers were more strange than kind as Lindsay hasn’t fared too well.

life is a moving violation

Now Lindz has had her problems, like repeated run ins with the law. It seems like Lohan has spent more time in front of a judge than a camera over the past several years. Now to give the poor young lady the benefit of the doubt much of that stemmed from probation violations from previous probation violations from the original charges for things as innocuous as drinking and driving, or blowing off community service and court mandated rehab. It’s like a small nucleus of petty criminal infractions has pyramided out into a life of crime. Then again that Lindsay does have an attitude – like the time she got into that snit with a staff member at Betty Ford. Gosspistas will recall that Lohan got caught coming or going over the wall – like Steve McQueen in the Great Escape, & by a staff member who wasn’t a fan of the film. Next thing you know TMZ is in on the act and the staff member is wearing a neck brace (maybe she had her arm in a sling) and law suits are getting talked about. That poor woman eventually lost her job. You can’t work at Betty Ford if celebrity clients are afraid that there gonna get sued. The case may have been eventually settled or dropped – moral of the story is it don’t pay to play with firecrotch.

sleazy going

So Lindsay has done a lot of troubled living in her 25 years. When you burn the candle at both ends it tends to show. Lohan hasn’t just burned it but set it off like a fire cracker. That’s left her in the worse for wear club. Everyone knows that stress takes it out of you. Just look at Presidents serving especially trying terms of office. They go from youthful America’s Quaterback types with athletic good looks and sleazy easy going charm to grey haired dessicated old geezers recovering from their triple by passes. As for Lohan she’s in worse shape these days than Ronald Reagan was after his run in with David Hinkley! It’s so bad that the last time she really made the news it was the days after hosting Saturday Night Live (her idea). That morning former 80’s rocker Debbie Harry walked out on the street and got swarmed by paparazzi who mistook her for Lohan!

So how bad is it? You can survey the damage that the ravages of fame & see for yourself by viewing the following video. Brace yourself and if there are children present then you might want to get them out of the room before you run this thing.

a little clockwork orange with her vodka?

So what happened to the woman who used to be the promising girl with a spark? Most people blame the usual suspects like drugs and alcohol. If only there were some way to force her to get help, they think, perhaps through amputation or mind control, then she could be restored to some well behaved zombie version of her former self. She might no longer be the girl with the spark they reason but at least you could let her out ion public. So she’d wind up like Alex in a Clockwork Orange – that is unless she rejected her programming and went on one massive relapse bender. Fans of Clockwork Orange will recall that brain washing has side effects – though maybe a light mental flossing might be in order.

you’ve got to reach the top before rock bottom is a worth while trip

Others think that lousy parenting combined with the absence of any real friends in her life as left her at a lose. They closest thing she’s ever had to a nurturing relationship was they time she shared with Samantha Ronson. People who were normally supportive of gay relationships seemed very disapproving of that one. Officially it was because they assumed she was faking it in some kind of an attempt to get attention – not that she’s ever had to attempt to get attention. Unofficially it was probably because they thought Ronson was ‘enabling’ her and it was gonna be a lot more difficult to get to her if she was hiding behind her lover. People have to be isolated and broken down if you’re gonna get them to rock bottom and the pint at which they’re ready to receive help on your terms – oh those rehab power struggles! Charlie Sheen could tell you a thing or two about that believe me!

Baphomet strikes again! – another victim of the New World Order

The conspiracy minded, whom I include myself among, believe that it’s because Hollywood is infested with Illuminati demon worshipers who seek out the brightest and best from America’s youth, lure them into the candy shop like some infernal flame drawing unwary moths, and then proceeds to corrupt them. In practice corrupting them means chewing them up and spitting them out through the usual process of flunkies, drugs, bad deals, plastic surgery, nude photo spreads, tattoos, alternative celebrity spirituality cults, rehab, law suits, and failed comebacks. It’s happened to Britney Spears and Megan Fox is current somewhere in the midst of that cycle. In the end what’s left is unrecognizable.

the down side of child sacrifice

However what happened is only speculation. Only Lindsay may know for sure and no one would believe her if she told them. For one thing no one’s gonna listen to that lying little druggie! So she’s better off keeping quiet, except for whatever she’s obliged to say under oath in a courtroom. What we do know is that celebrity has worked out about as well for her as it has for most of the other child stars out there – except for the ones who died. Saying that fame and fortune ain’t everything it’s cracked up to be, no matter what they – tell you might sound like a bit of a cliche, but in this case it’s more of a truism. So if you have children of your own and are thinking about cashing in on their youth and potential then think twice. You know how that’s gonna work out. Further more no one will believe that you didn’t. That means your excuses won’t wash in the merciless court of public opinion (where they can’t hang you but they’ll get you one way or another cause there’s more than one way to skin a cat!). After all you were warned, and should’ve been smart enough to know different anyway! You’ve seen that show before for one thing!

There are no refunds for a misspent youth so give your heart a facelift!

Part of the trouble with the entertainment business is that it’s a little like selling your soul, or at least like cashing in on youth and beauty. Trouble with that is there are no refunds, no matter how good your plastic surgeon is. The best you can do is roll back the odometer a little for a while. Eventually the mileage catches up with you and brings along the interest charges. Sadly there are no facelifts for the soul, except for perhaps Qaballah.

Saving face or taking heart – gossip that’s like a personal trainer for your soul

However you don’t have to get involved in the celebrity rat race to enjoy show biz. You can do it vicariously and from a safe distance through Wondertrash – the blog that doesn’t look a day over 30!

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