The Happy Homewrecker – Still Unforgiven, Still Unrepentant

LeAnn Rimes addresses the cheating issue

LeAnn Rimes has been stigmatized ever since she cheated on her own husband with another woman’s husband. Now LR has come forward to address that issue. She’s not apologizing mind you, but she can explain.

According to LeAnn both she and her then husband were quite young at the time. The calendar backs them up on this. However she then goes on to imply that though they both grew, they grew apart. This kind of leaves it to be inferred that hubs didn’t quite catch up with Rimes own growth spurt. So she pulled an Amy Grant.

BTW LeAnn also goes onto say that growing up as America’s Sweetheart placed some unfair expectations on her – like decency. Rimes makes it sound as if she were suffocating in some Mary Tyler Moore type straitjacket that was stifling her inner Sue Ann Nivens/Happy Homewrecker.

Here’s the Happy Homewrecker in her own words from CNN. BTW her own words don’t include the one people want to hear – “sorry”.

Strong words from the panelists; lukewarm from LeAnn. I like the chick who claims that there’s a special place in hell for chicks who steal other chicks men. If that’s true then LeAnn chestnuts must be roasting already! Also if that’s true LeAnn will have plenty of celebrity company in the dark hot place, like Angelina Jolie, and most notably Julia Roberts. For some reason these ladies have gotten a pass, or at least a get out of jail free card, on their cheating ways. Poor Jennifer Aniston has never ever been the same since Jolie stomped the wheels off of her little red wagon. Jolie might have gotten a pass on that cause crazy & dangerous is part of her image, ie girl most likely to kill and eat you after mating (she’s even starting to physically resemble a praying mantis).

As for Roberts, she’s retained her America’s Sweetheart crown until recently. She only lost it then because of an outpouring of sympathy & support for Sandy Bullock. When people heard what Jesse James had been doing behind her back, and with other women, they felt that Sandy needed a promotion from Miss Congeniality to full grade Sweetheart level. As they say on Strangers With Candy, pity is worth more than all the whiskey in a drunkard’s dreams, plus no one can ever take it away from you!

However Roberts loss of sweetheart status was more do to a relative change in Bullock’s, and not any kind of anti Roberts sentiment. This is odd given Roberts own relationship with her husband Danny Moder. Apparently there was some kind of marriage bust up involved in that. What’s worse Roberts has tormented Moder’s family with her constant bullying and demands. At one point she had the entire clan enrolled in therapy so that they could learn to be more sensitive to her needs. Why be a more reasonable person yourself when you can get the other person to give in to you by convincing them that it’s the reasonable thing to do? Worse still Moder’s mother had a fatal heart attack at about the time Julia horned in on the scene. Moder’s sister is convinced that the heart attack was Julia Roberts related, and still won’t talk to her famous sister in law.

Now LeAnn hasn’t caused any deaths – that we know of – yet she continues to dangle on the hook. Looks like people are determined to give her a hard time over this. Maybe she deserves a hard time – I dunno. However worse people are getting off easier.


The Fabulous Clip Joint

liv tyler bilked out of 200 000 by celebrity hair stylistHow much does a really smart A List hair style cost? If you’re Liv Tyler it could run up to $200 000! To be clear that not only includes the cost of the hair cut, but also all the additional charges that could get run up on your credit card without your knowledge. Lovely Liv favors a salon called Chez Gabriela Studio, run by Maria Gabriela Perez. Perez boasts an A List clientele including the likes of Cher, Jennifer Aniston, and Anne Hathaway. It’s not only the glitterati that are beating a path to her door. Wednesday afternoon the Secret Service dropped by with an arrest warrant.

Allegedly Ms Perez was making free and easy with the credit card numbers of some of her celebrity clients. Ms Tyler, in particular, got hit up for 214 000 over the course of 5 months! She’s also accused of running up 68 000 in charges on the card of an unnamed jewelry designers. This is heavy shit, and could land the hair stylist in the klink for as much as 25 years!

Jennifer Aniston was a former client of Chez Gabriella, but left after a falling out. Jen says: We had a situation that was not cool, so I stopped going to her. Paid her the money and left. … I knew something like this would eventually happen. A lawyer for Perez says: At this time she is innocent of all charges. She is a legitimate business woman who provides legitimate services. We are confidant when the facts come out my client will be exonerated of all charges. Ms Perez better hope that some of her lawyer’s faith in her rubs off on the Secret Service!

Annie get your gun

In other news Sarah Palin has shown that she just doesn’t know when to keep her mouth shut. Sarah had just cracked the difficult Levi Johnston problem. According to a story in the National Enquirer Palin felt that she had no chance as a 2012 presidential run as long as Levi was running his mouth publicly about her. So she lured him into a false sense of security by urging Bristol to get friendly with him, and invite him to spent quality time with the family.

The plan worked and Levi retracted all the stuff he said. He claimed that it was merely youthful indiscretion on his part. Damned by his own retraction anything he might say in the future would be regarded skeptically. However the plan hit a snag when Bristol and Levi announced their engagement and plans for a reality TV show. Sarah didn’t see that one coming. When the news broke that Levi had knocked up another young woman – a childhood friend of Bristol’s – the engagement was off and everything was coming up Sarah.

Soon Sarah herself would put a spanner in the works. The former Alaskan governor has recently coming out voicing support for disgraced radio shrink Dr Laura Schlessinger. Schlessinger got into a heap of trouble for using the N word repeatedly on air in response to a woman calling for advice on dealing with racist in laws. That lead to a speedy mea culpa on the partof Ms Schlessinger, and eventually her retirement announcement.

Palin has taken to twitter to support Schlessinger, claiming that she believes that Dr Laura’s 1st amendment right to use racial charged language has been suppressed. Below are Palin’s tweets:

palin tweets support for dr laura schlessinger
palin tweets supprt for schlessinger

Now it should be pointed out that Schlessinger’s right to use racist language has not been suppressed. She can stick her head out the window and holler the N word at passer bys to her heart’s content if that’s what she wishes. However privately owned radio concerns don’t owe her a forum. That’s the technicality on which Dr Laura’s persecution argument falls down. To give Laura credit, she’s claiming that she will continue to voice her controversial opinions on her own time, and at her own expense, by way of youtube and the blogosphere. Freedom of speech within a free market context is as much as any conservative has a right to expect. No word yet on how this affects Palin’s presidential hopes, but I don’t think she’s planning a Mel Gibson defense or anything.

sarah palin reloads for dr laura schlessinger


Dr Laura Off The Air

the doctor is out – no rehab

Dr Laura is leaving her show when her contract expires. This comes in the wake of her controversial N word comments on a recent show. Dr Laura’s racially charged blurt came in response to a caller who complained of having to deal with insensitive comments from her husband’s white friends. Dr Laura claimed the woman was getting upset over nothing, and should try being less sensitive. Then – perhaps to help the woman toughen up, or maybe to amke a philosophical point – Laura blurted out the offensive term 7 or 8 times.

Now Laura ought to have known better. Many other high profile personalities have lost their careers through reckless disregard for there audiences’ sensitivities: Don Imus, Michael Richards (who also seemed to be trying to make a ‘philosophical point’), etc. Yet Laura seemed to think that she was on right side of the line. She was to find out differently in the ensuing controversy.

With a backlash of hate mail and sponsoring rushing to abandon ship, Laura seems to think that the heat medium of AM talk radio is the wrong forum for her reactionary conservative views. So on Larry King Live last night she announced that she’s leaving. Dr Laura feels that the talk radio medium is too restrictive, and she wants the freedom to spout her views with out feeling censored by the feelings of her audience.

Dr Laura shouldn’t have to be reminded that radio isn’t only a platform for political views, it’s also a business. The free market is something that Laura, as a conservative, is supposed to believe in. Therefore she can’t really be too upset about this. Try thinking of it as a market readjustment rather than a free speech issue. Dr Laura as the right to say as many hateful and controversial things as she likes. However radio networks aren’t obliged to provide her with a forum, nor are sponsors obliged to pay for it. If the powers that be feel Dr Laura has alienated key target groups then this becomes as much as free enterprise issue as anything else. Maybe that could be some comfort to Dr Laura as she contemplates her next career move – maybe she could get a blog?


Chris Brown is still really sorry, Mel Gibson is still an asshole

“remember me?”

Unemployment must not agree with Chris Brown. That’s understandable when you’re about 21, worth millions, had the world at you feet, and then the ground suddenly opens up underneath you. Well it’s not so much that the ground opened up as that he smacked the shit out of his then gal pal Rihanna Robyn Fenty. Brown did a number on her that got world wide attention. When the pictures of Rihanna’s battered face started making the rounds, folks couldn’t stand the sight of Brown’s face anymore. So he had to take a little sabbatical from the lime light.

Redemption American Style – fake it till you make it!

Well CB seems like he’s getting ready to make a comeback. Chris was at the BET Awards recently where he gave an emotional tribute to the late pop icon Michael Jackson. When I say emotional I mean that he actually broke down during his tribute performance. He didn’t break down in a jarring Kanye West way either. Nobody’s microphone got snatched out of their hands & Brown was actually in tears!

“If you forgive me, I promise not to beat up any more women!”

The emotion didn’t stop there either. During a presentation Brown took some time to say that he’s really really sorry for doing all that unlicensed facial deconstruction on Ms. Fenty. Further more he knows that it was just plain wrong. If he hadn’t already known that then I’m sure that the Brown Fan Boycott against any project he involved himself in helped him to figure it out! He get’s it now because his profuse apologies also came with a guarantee – “I’ll never ever do anything like that again!” You don’t have to read about it though; cause you can see for yourself via this youtube clip:

Hennigan’s shenanigans

Kanye West
also attended. Now Kayne didn’t really do anything comparable to Brown’s savage assault. Kanye was merely drunk and disorderly during a past VMA Awards show. Believing that Beyonce Knowles had been passed over in favour of new comer Taylor Swift, Kanye and his bottle of Hennigan’s hopped up on the stage to say that Taylor’s a great gal and a talented singer but giving her the award was just plain wrong. It was almost chivalrous in a drunk, misguided way. Imagine poor Kayne’s embarrassment and shock when he realized that Beyonce had not been passed over. The big prize, video of the year, had been saved up for her.

when kanye west interrupted taylor swifts award acceptance he showed the world that hennigans and award shows are a potentially volatile combination

Chivlary is not dead, just a little drunk & rowdy

That lead to Kanye’s year of shame. Jay Leno publicly took him to task on The Tonight Show. Jay might’ve been more cautious. The karma wheel turned on Leno fast after he developed his own image problems during the Conan O Brien affair (Leno couldn’t have come off worse if he’d admitted to having sex with David Letterman!). Leno had company in the Kanye bashing. Even the President was goaded mischievously, by members of the media, into commenting on the affair. When asked for an off the cuff response during a media briefing, Pres Obama called West a “jackass“. Getting called out by a man who was at the time the most popular president since FDR has got to put you in that “how bad is this thing gonna get?” mode. In fairness though the President seemed a little unsure of who Kanye was.

Next award show, take a pill

redemption American style nicely forms the anagram Discretionary empalement

So Kayne took a brief hiatus (hiatus is a word you use for “break” when you’ve already used up sabbatical). He also conducted himself with a little more dignity than we’re accustomed to seeing from celebs. he made a public apology to Ms. Swift. He also made a private call to once again say sorry for spoiling her moment. Then he went away for awhile: no media releases, no sneaky attempts to get back in the limelight, no phony sensitivity. His recent BET appearance was likewise cool & professional. So it looks like at least one of them has learned something from their year in exile! Maturity comes to those who wait, and is possible even for a professional celebrity!

Gibson still Mad Mel

BTW speaking of some one else with image problems, and who doesn’t seem one bit sorry, Mel Gibson has been caught in yet another racist tirade. Radaronline is claiming that they’ve have a tape )perhaps the very same tapes that Oksana claimed to have recorded and that the courts barred her from releasing – wait for the “they were stolen” story), probably from Gibon’s ex Oksana Grigorieva, in which Mel uses some very vulgar language. Some of it was racist, the rest just nasty threats directed against Ms. Grigorieva. Here are the Young Turks with their take on that.

Reps of Radaronline have confirmed that they have the tape, that they have heard the tape, and that Mel says all the stuff that he is alleged to have said on the tape. This adds credibility to Oksie’s claims to have been battered by the disgraced drunken actor. It also means that after a few years of careful image management and some tentative steps towards a career comeback, Gibson is officially done!


This Year’s MTV Awards promises to be socially awkward

So is anyone interested in these things? They will be Sandra Bullock’s 1st ‘post humiliation’ outing. Everybody probably remembers what happened the last time Sandy appeared at an awards show. She thanked the little people who made it possible, she thanked the Academy for giving her the opportunity to wear them down, and she especially thanked her estranged husband, Mr Real, Jesse James.

Morgan Freeman wants his email address back

She claimed during that unfortunate speech that living with Jesse made her a better actress, Not surprising since as it turned out life with Jesse was pretty much a tissue of lies. The world found that out in an explosion of neo Nazi tattooed porn actresses. What followed was a media maelstrom. Sandy laid low, and eventually adopted; while Jesse went on a public mea culpa binge. He also started blaming his step family for making him a monster (they claimed he was like that when they got him), and trying to sell his jet – the one featured in the nazi photos, as a piece of pop cultural history! In fact he was so clumsy in his attempts to save himself that it had people, like me, asking how could this monkey stay a step ahead of a Sandra Bullock for so many years? Love is blind, not mentally retarded.

company in the hot seat

Anyway Sandy once again feels confident enough to venture out in the open without the fear that lightening will strike or anything. Many will be watching just in case it does. Others will want to see those Twilight kids. Pissy Krissy, or Kristew who has just done her “Me & my big mouth” apologies, over the rape remarks, will be there. Though it was in bad taste I’m sure no one was seriously offended, except for actual rape victims. Anyway it will be interesting to see if Krissy does any squirming.

peaking at the pecking order

Also the Twilight kids have pride of place, seated right behind Sandy, who seated front row center. Now that has watchers of the Follywood pecking order picking Twilight for a sweep! Watchers like Dana Ward from Clevver TV. I don’t know whether she’s been lurking around and noting the seating arrangement, but she might well be onto something.


Tiger’s Teacher Traumatized

Tiger Woods should’ve probably taken some time off following his big sex scandal. He could’ve gone sailing, done some therapy, worked on his marriage, and then returned to the game that needs him so badsly after everything had blown over. Right now he’s radioactive. Playing the Masters only keeps the story hot. While the story’s hot there are gonna be a lot of people who want to tap into the toxic fame for themselves. Like Tiger’s kindergarten teacher.

For years Tiger had been telling a story about how he’d been the victim of a racially based assault in kindergarten. Some kids, according to Tiger, tied him to a tree and then spray painted him with racial epithets. It’s the kind of story that plays up the triumph over adversity angle. Just like George Washington and the cherry tree (It was very inspiring to hear about some one making it in politics despite honesty!). It turns out that like the cherry tree, Tiger’s school yard assault never actually happened. At least that’s what the teacher is telling legal loose canon and Rachel Uchitel council Gloria Allred.

The woman in question has come forward because she feels she is just as entitled to an apology as any of Woods’ mistress. No that Tiger poked her or anything. Not even Tiger would’ve been capable of such preschooler prowess. It’s that the story has disturbed her.

The kindergarten teacher must be a sensitive soul. She claims that since Woods started spreading these stories about mischeif in the schoolyard she has become chronically stressed out. She’s even developed colitis, insomnia, and a host of other complaints that are either real, imaginary, or totally spurious. So Tiger needs to say “Sorry”. Once the mea culpa is out of the way then they can move on to the lawsuit that they seem to be positioning themselves for. That may sound cynical but I doubt that Allred is repping the lady out of the goodness of her heart. Remember that once you say sorry you’ve accepted liability and can be sued! Just look up an old Rockford Files episode called the attractive Nuisance if you doubt it. Watching lots of TV has made a whole generation pretty aware!

Now here’s MSNBC news hottie Contessa Brewer with their resident gossip expert for more details. I guess that Contessa is one of the few that Tiger hasn’t gotten around to yet. Hey, the guy is still young!

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Big Love, big mouth, & big trouble

Chloe Sevigny opens her yap to air Big Love grievances then thinks twice

Katherine Heigl made an ass of herself back during the writers strike when she refused a Emmy nomination because she felt the quality of Grey’s Anatomy scripts didn’t merit it. Heigl was nominated for acting not writing, but she knew that. She was just trying to make a point, come off looking good, and get some attention – all of which backfired. She was already disliked on Grey’s and that only made the situation worse. Eventually Heigl got the can, after more public complaining about producers “meanness”. She wanted some slack cut in her TV schedule so she could devote more time to movies. GA finally cut her lose and now she has as much time to devote to her movie career as necessary – however much that may be.

Now Big Love star Chloe Sevigny has taken a leaf from Heigl’s book and opened her big yap in public. Sevigny plays the wife on the hit show about Mormons & polygamy. Sevigny recently went on the record and said:

It was awful this season, as far as I’m concerned. I’m not allowed to say that! …I feel like it kind of got away from itself…I mean, I love the show, I love my character, I love the writing, but I felt like they were really pushing it this last season. And with nine episodes, I think they were just squishing too much in… But I hope the fans will stick with us and tune in next year. There’s a lot of people who really love this season, surprisingly. God, I’m going to get in so much trouble.”

Though she fell short in discretion she scored in fore sight. Chloe has indeed gotten herself in big trouble! That has lead Chloe to do some furious back peddling. Chloe’s reps are now saying that she didn’t mean what she said, and that the media blew it out of proportion. First she knocks the show and now the media – she never gets tired of pointing the finger. She might try making some friends, if only for a change.

Chloe can explain, sort of. The actress told Entertainment Weekly that “I feel pretty terrible. I feel like what I said was taken out of context.” Since those statements are pretty self explanatory I’m not sure what the missing context could be other than “Just kidding”, or “That’s an example of what I might say of I were an ungrateful bitch”. She may as well have said “I’ve taken up yoga and I was just practicing the foot in mouth pose”. She might even try saying she’s sorry. It worked for David Letterman. She also might want o watch her step from now on. The thing about Big Life is that there are always more Mormon wives waiting in the wings. That’s polygamy for you. What was she thinking? Does she even have a film career to fall back on?

Now here is Wondertrash’s own version of Keyboard Cat – Nova Scotia’s own Gordie Sampson to sing Sorry. It’s nice to trot this one out every time some celeb sticks there foot in it.

chloe sevigny opens her yap to air Big Love grievances then thinks twice

In this time of economic recovery Sevigny might want to watch her mouth, or she could wind up in the same sorry plight as America’s first legal male gigolo – looking for work!

Sounds like that fellow is having some trouble making ends meet.

Contessa Brewer on the breast cheese beat

Gee Whiz it’s Cheese Whiz!

A few weeks ago, maybe it was months, Wondertrash reported that MSNBC hottie Contesse Brewer had made the horrendous on air faux pas of calling the Rev Jesse JacksonAl Sharpton“. At that one moment the jig was almost up for middle class white American liberal latent racism (I’ve learned about the adjective run on from my researches into Gonzo journalism!).

Hard cheese Lois Lane, you’ve been demoted back to girl reporter.

Now see what has happened to poor Contessa Brewer since. They’ve demoted her from hardball issues to “breast cheese”. Though Brewer is still game and doesn’t pull any punches – “Does it bother you when people describe your breast cheese as rancid and sour?“, she can’t help coming across like a goose out of water.

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Letterman Blackmailer Guility

Rogue 48 Hours producer Robert Halderman happened on a little get rich quick scheme involving sex, revenge and 2 million dollars. The idea occurred to him when he discovered that his girlfriend was still seeing her former boss David Letterman. When I say that they were seeing ea ch other I mean that they were seeing all of each other! Inspiration can be a funny thing.

Well Bob decided that the story of his betrayal had to be worth something to some one, so he dashed of a little screen play. Then being the gentleman that he is, he decided to let David Letterman have first crack at the screen rights – just to show that there were no hard feelings. Well no good deed goes unpunished and Dave decided that this gesture was more of a shake down than a good turn. “Whoa this is blackmail” he claimed the police explained to him when he reported the incident. Now I’m sure that Dave is clever enough not to require an explanation. In fact that was probably in his mind when he went to the authorities.

Well the upshot is that between the jigs and the reels Haldermen got busted walking out of Dave’s office with a check for 2 mill in his hot little hand. That lead to the aforesaid public mea culpa in which Dave tried to take responsibility for his actions by distancing himself from them. The angle worked out so well that Dave might well teach a class in celebrity mea culpa. Of course Big daddy Dave had a little help from Late Night Musical Chairs fiasco that’s been going on lately. The Olympics were kind of distracting too.

Events were not to be so kind for Robert Halderman. Despite the loud and aggressive noises of his attorney, Bobby was facing an uphill battle in the court and in public opinion. Gravity eventually won out and Halderman pleaded guilty in a plea bargain. The conditions include the usual gag order in which Bob isn’t allowed to go writing any scripts based on Dave, or any characters with a coincidentally resemblance to Dave. So case closed.

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Farrah Fawcwett snubbed in Oscar memorial

As part of the Academy Award proceeding a memorial was included to people notable for their participation in films. Notable by her absence was Farrah Fawcett. The Academy claimed that too many people had died in 2009 – it was a hard year on celebrities – and they couldn’t include everyone. The inference being that Farrah was a television actress and so not important enough to make the Oscar death list. Hollywood thrives on self importance and it wouldn’t be much of a list if it weren’t exclusive. In plane language some one had to be left out to make everyone else feel important.

Now the Academy may have over looked a few things when they decided not to include Fawcett. For one thing Farrah had done film work. In fact she starred in the 1976 sci fi classic Logan’s Run. That was the first sci fi flick ever to win an Oscar. It picked up a coveted statuette for best FX in a motion picture. As an Academy first you’d think that would make it notable. Since Farrah participated in it you think that would make her notable enough, in addition to her contribution to popular culture (she was an icon!) to get a mention. After all the 82nd Oscars were supposed to be a night notable for firsts, especially involving women. Doesn’t the Academy respect it’s own history & tradition?

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