Micheal Lohan arrested again

When it rains it pours in the Lohan Family. Lindsay is busted and naked – that is here probation got revoked so now she’s posing nude in Playboy. She’s going full on frontal for 1 million, and was offered another million for her vagina, but turned it down since her younger sister was gonna be sitting in on the shoots and Lindz wanted to keep everything within family values parameters – Lohan standards anyway.

Now her felonious father Michael has got himself busted again! Now if you’ll recall Mikey tends to get in trouble with the law from time to time. It has something to do with his volatile Irish tempers, and the assortment of sluts he hangs around with. The last case was with tabloid vixen Kate Major. She worked with the Star until she fell in love with Jon Gosselin and then dumped him for Lohan. Well sooner or later push came to shove. Push ‘n’ shove in that case meant – according to Kate, that Mikey came home tanked up and pushed her out of a chair and unto the floor. He frightened her so bad that she had top call the cops and have him charged with domestic battery assault, or some such charge. Now this was serious cause Kate don’t frighten easy. She’s seen Jon Gosselin naked for one thing!

That’s old news since the chair flipping incident occurred several months/couple of years back, while they were still together and just as one of Mikey’s many probation sentences was running out. There’s been a lot of water under the bridge since then, but some things never change. Like Michael. With his daughter’s misfortunes still fresh in the tabloid headlines Mikey has once more gotten himself into hot water and once again it was over trashy cutie Kate Major (“the crowd is for you juicy waitress!”). Seems that Lohan was trying to confront his estranged ex when things got out of hand. Then they got stuck in a tree. Sounds like the sort of trouble only a Lohan can get into! Just take a look at the following short video for the dirty details!

After reading such stories you might find yourself asking “what the fuck is wrong with these people?” Well the answer is, to paraphrases the words of Charlie Sheen – the Warlock, they’re special. That’s why you can’t process them with a normal brain. In fact they are so special that some believe celebs are actually reptoids, or reptilians. If you follow the conspiracy beat then you know that reptoids are a separate species that disguise themselves using holograms so that they can walk unseen amongst us, sabotage our economy, poison our minds with reality TV, and spike our children’s milk with vaccine serums. They are the descendents of the dinosaurs who went under ground after the asteroid hit 65 million years ago, and have been trying to regain the planet from the primates ever since. It’s kind of what HG Wells was hinting at with the Morlocks and the Elohim in The Time Machine. AS a card carrying member of the Illuminati Wells was privy to these secrets, which are generally with held from the rest of us.

If you don’t follow the conspiracy beat and want to find out more about these creatures then take a look at the following short but informative video!


Rick Sanchez Fired From CNN – The Damned Jews Got Another One!

the following is written in conspiracy theory form, as a satire of ideas that are becoming more apparent in our society

News, views, and Jews!


Rick Sanchez used to be an on air personality with CNN. Nowadays he’s hotter under the collar than George Dubya in a burqa. So what’s got Rickie’s hijab in a twist? Well Jon Stewart doesn’t like him and only gets away with it because the media is controlled by Jews! That puts guys like him at a disadvantage. Guys like Sanchez, are in his words guys whose parents worked hard, who were never quite white enough (“white enough” is WASP as defined by the ruling secret Jewish kabal!), and who never had anything handed to him.

Didn’t Carroll O Connor used to sing this song at the beginning of All In The Family?

Guys like Stewart, on the other hand, are guys from the college educated middle class. Their father’s have degrees, while their mothers have part time jobs of choice that allow them to maintain their dignity and afford pretentious off season vacation packages. Their parents send them to prep schools where they wore penny loafers with dimes in them just to be assholish, and learn to stick their nose in the air by thinking that everyone else is stupid.

a couple of teabags shy of a pot, or just thought no one was listening to Sirius

So naturally there’s an ‘animosity’. That animosity spilled out last night during an astonishing Mel Gibson type radio rant out featuring Sanchez on Pete Dominick’s Sirius XM show. Rick was pissed off about getting replaced as CNN anchor in favour of an Elliot “Quagmire” Spitzer Show (The Jews again! When will they leave this man in peace?), and to promote his perhaps ironically titled new book “Conventional Idiocy“. Sanchez was mighty steamed about getting the ax, so he had a full head of steam to work off.

Guys like the snob on MASH, not the drunks on Cheers!

Now he had the explanation for CNN. The guys there just don’t get it. They don’t get it because they don’t get where he’s coming from. Where he’s coming from – in more or less his own words – is an ‘off white’ background of hard knocks where dads did real jobs for chicken feed and their sons didn’t get into Ivy League colleges with a letter from the bishop or local state senator. So when they see him they just see some ‘latino’.

“It’s not just the right that does this. ‘Cause I’ve known a lot of elite, Northeast establishment liberals that may not use this as a business model, but deep down, when they look at a guy like me, they look at a … they see a guy automatically who belongs in the second tier and not the top tier … White folks usually don’t see it, but we do, those of us who are minorities … Here, I’ll give you my example, it’s this, ‘You know what, I don’t want you anchoring anymore. I really don’t see you as an anchor, I see you more as a reporter. I see you more as a Jon Quinones.’ You know, the guy on ABC. That’s what he told me, he told me he saw me as Jon Quinones. Now, did he not realize that he was telling me, ‘when I see you I think of Hispanic reporters?’ ‘Cause in his mind, I can’t be an anchor, an anchor’s what you give the high profile white guys.”

Rickie has some ‘splainin’ to do

Now what Rickie actually says is that when he sees when he looks at Jon Quinones is a Hispanic reporter. Though “Jon Quinones” are fighting words, let’s not get sidetracked on side issues when there are bigger fish to fry. Fish like that little know it all Jon Stewart. Stewart is similar to those North Eastern Bean Towner types except more so. More so means raised in New Jersey with over educated parents and a temperature controlled silver spoon up his ass (that probably came with batteries & a remote control – you know what ‘those people’ are like with science & gadgets). That’s why the little snot boy just has no respect for anyone who isn’t a member of his little junior chamber of commerce clique of privileged, uptight, smugness. However let’s let Sanchez say it for himself:

“It happens all the time. I think to a certain extent, Jon Stewart and Colbert are the same way. I think Jon Stewart’s a bigot … Yeah, I think he’s a bigot … I think he looks at the world through his mom who was a schoolteacher and his dad who was a physicist, or something like that.

“Great, I’m so happy that he grew up in a suburban, middle class New Jersey home with everything that you could ever imagine.”

Jon Stewart thinks he’s a big man – a regular Jerry Lewis!

Now bigot is a strong word. When Dominick asked Sanchez to be more specific – that’s supposed to be his job as a serious journalist, Sanchez comes up short. It was as if he were just throwing the word around for effect. Just to prove he’s serious though, he reiterates:

“I think Jon’s show is essentially prejudicial … against anybody who doesn’t agree to his point of view, which is very much a white, Liberal establishment point of view. He can’t relate to a guy like me, he can’t relate to a guy whose dad worked all his life. He can’t relate to somebody who grew up poor,” Sanchez said.

Dominick, who was previously the “Daily Show’s” warm-up comic, continued to press Sanchez for specific examples of bigoted conduct by Stewart.

Sanchez ended up attempting to back off the comments slightly. “I’ll take the word ‘bigot’ back. I’ll say prejudicial — uninformed,” he said.

Rick Sanchez’s minority report

Now Sanchez may not have all his facts straight – which as a serious journalist makes him a prime target for satirists like Stewart – but he does have a point. Jewart does seem to pick on Sanchez for some reason. Maybe it’s because he’s intimated by Sanchez’s macho. Maybe it’s because he resents Stewart’s – supposedly – up tight upper middle class Jewish American upbringing. It’s the kind of angst non Jews feel every time they see Biloxi Blues: “If only I’d grown up a whiny little momma’s boy then I could be funny too!“. Then again Stewart picks on almost everyone. So how does he keep getting away with it since he’s not that funny?

The appeal of the Daily Show is lost on me. It seems awkwardly satirical with some downplayed PC ass kissing thrown in. It’s hardly good enough to justify the fuss. In fact it’s barely better than Bill Maher (though much less obnoxious!). Once the genuinely funny and genuinely clever Stephen Colbert came along with some genuine satire, Stewart should have been obsolete. Rick Sanchez has an answer for that one too.

those kind? “Nose” kind!

You see There are a lot of guys like Jon Stewart at CNN. There are a lot of guys like that at other networks to. Whether by consensus of mutual interest or deliberate, nefarious design – these no gooders control the media! When I say a lot of guys I don’t mean Freemasons, though they control freemasonry (and Hollywood, Las Vegas, & the Vatican! That’s part of their insidious plan to control the world by controlling America, and to control America by controlling the entertainment, the gambling and the religion. Although America doesn’t identify it’s self as a Catholic country, a disturbing number of American’s are, and even one President was, Catholic! You dirty mics no who you are! The fact that they managed to get a Catholic elected president, but managed to keep their boys behind the scenes by not getting a Jew elected president should tell you everything about how these types operate! As of this time Disneyland is still in pretty good shape, but it’s getting Jewed up with a vengeance!). They don’t have secret handshakes – though then again they might for all we really know. These guys are Jews, and they like to look out for each other. Kind of like a mafia! Here’s exactly what Sanchez had to say on that:

“Yeah, very powerless people. [laughs] He’s such a minority. I mean, you know, please. What are you kidding? I’m telling you that everybody who runs CNN is a lot like Stewart and a lot of people who run all the other networks are a lot like Stewart. And to imply that somehow they, the people in this country who are Jewish, are an oppressed minority?”

That was both concise and lucid! He summed it up admirably! Now the powers that be, and I shouldn’t have to tell you who that is *winkstein* *winkstein* are trying to shut him up! As of posting time CNN had made an announcement that Sanchez was no longer working with their channel. I guess he must’ve violated some of their little Nazi thought crime rules or something.

Dirty Sanchez, or was Mel Gibson right?

Anyway they made this announcement way in advance of any announcement by Sanchez about his future. They didn’t want to give the man a chance to step out with dignity! Not that those kind understand dignity. You’d think that they pushed Sanchez because they were afraid that Rickie wouldn’t do the honourable thing and jump! So if there’s been no official statement from Sanchez on this, it’s because one is no longer necessary now that the deck has been stacked! So when attempts to reach Sanchez for an official comment on why he went Mel Gibson on the radio repeatedly went unanswered, it’s not because he’s gutless or anything. Let’s just say that the Jews got another one! Besides I’m sure that Rick is taking some needed time off to catch up on reading the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Did you know that reading that thing is like reading today’s news! It’s like it was written by Nostrodamus or something!

BTW since my eyes first started opening to the shadow world behind this one I’ve learned some amazing things. Here’s the most important things you have to know about the World Zionist Conspiracy!

1. Einstein stole the Theory of Relativity while still working as a patent clerk. The thesis was included as part of some guy’s perpetual motion invention!

2. “High profile white guys” mean Jews. The ‘white elite‘ are the front people, like Rockefeller was for the Rothschilds when he created the Federal Reserve by sinking the Titanic!

3. Jews have suppressed evidence of an alien crash at Area 51 to maintain faith in an Old Testament god, which is their lock on Western Culture. Of course they also try to undermine tradional values, but that just the Hegelian Dialectic in operation!

4. Jews have been spreading the rumour that Jesus Christ was Jewish for centuries!

5. The Jewish didn’t build Stonehenge, but repeatedly tried cheating Stone Age Briton’s out of it!

6. Every time you pay your cell phone bill portions of the money go to sponsor Israel!

7. The Jews not only started Hurricane Katrina, but then tried to blame it on black people!

8. Bill Clinton is secretly Jewish!

9. Jews killed Princess Diana because they feared the influence that Dodi Al Fayd might gain!

10. Some of your best friends might be Jewish. Even worse, you might not know it! They routine anglicize their names, Like Bernie Schwartz to Tony Curtis. This way they can inveigle themselves into society and work it’s ruin. It’s like a kind of Fifth Column right here in our midst. So be on guard, lest they come for you too! My advice – never trust a guy who’s been circumcised, or a woman who’s had a nose job!

Now a little more of Mr Sanchez and some borderline comments about the pres. Wait for it cause it’s about 1 minute into the video.

Well I guess Sanchez’s goose is cooked, and rightly so. His career looks like it’s going the same way as Mel Gibson’s, Michael Richard’s, Don Imus’, etc. Who knew that world was still such a racist place? Still, if Sarah Palin has shown us anything it’s that just because some one has no business having a career doesn’t mean that the public has heard the last of them.

Maybe Sanchez will get onto reality TV via race rehab. Now that’s not a bad idea since at the rate celebs are fucking up in public the powers that be – Jewish or otherwise – are gonna have to do something or their won’t be a celeb left that isn’t racist, drug addicted, a sex offender, or otherwise retarded (I can still say that because the retarded aren’t a race, right? Or are they?). Who knows, maybe inflammatory FOX News can do something for him. They’ve aired more extreme, equally insane views on their network. Glenn Beck, with his chalk board and greasy finger of Vick’s, is already running his news show on an X Files basis! FOX is America’s No 1 source for news related information, just like The Daily Show is America’s No 1 source for news related commentary.


Dr Laura Flips Out On The Air

teleshrink caught on air with foot in mouth

Dr. Laura Schlesinger can be pretty abrupt. Her recent show is no except. When confronted by caller Jade (probably not her real name) who complained about having to deal with racist house guests since getting into an inter racial marriage – Laura told the woman to lighten up. After asking the woman whether she was one of those hyper sensitive types, Dr. S went on to tell the woman that she should try to see the humour in her guests degrading and disrespectful comments. “You saw the movie ‘White Guys Can’t Jump’ right, and that was funny!”

not racist, just rhetorically ham fisted

Dr Laura has gone on to apologize for her comments. She’s claims that she was trying to make a philosophical point and got carried away. She also claims that she was immediately mortified. She did infant pull out of the last hour of her show – probably with her career flashing in front of her eyes.

“Damn! The only way I can come back from something like this is by coming out as gay!”

Maybe Laura was trying to make some point about racial over sensitivity: when are overt references to race not racist? However she picked a half assed way of doing it. In fact she seems so determined that she missed the answer she usually gives other callers in similar non race related situations; that you have the right to bar anyone dangerous, crazy, or annoying from your home. Dr Laura might find her own show banned from people’s homes as the public tries to decided if she’s moved from the annoying category into the other 2.

“What was I thinking? I can’t get away with that in the cut throat talk radio market!!”

Still you’ve got to hope that Schlessie pulls out of this. Despite her faults and excesses she is entertaining. Besides do you really want to see her go onto a career in rehabbing wayward celebrities?


Mel Gibson TAPE # 5!!!

Well Tape # 5 is here – no surprise. It’s full of the usual vulgarities and recriminations, too. You can hear it here, by watching the following youtube video.

Please don’t drag the Lakers into this!

The Oksana abuse pix have some out too. They show Oksana with mouth wide open (a familiar position for her?)displaying two ‘chipped’ veneers and no soft tissue damage around the mouth. So now there’s some controversy (in fact a lot of controversy)about whether Mel really broke her teeth. Maybe Oksana was chewing on something she shouldn’t have (I hear that her mouth gets into all kinds of strange places, & vice versa!), broke her caps, and decided she that this might come in handy later – if she claimed Mel did it. Now that’s giving Mel a lot of benefit of doubt, but Oksana is at least as hard to sympathize with as he is. Seems like there are no good guys in that crooked little game.

scandal takes a holiday – or at least a weekend off

So far Oksana, or the good people at Radaronline/TMZ, have been releasing one of these little publicity bombshells a day. Hopefully they’ll give us the weekend off, and hold what other little treasure they might have in store until Monday.

a word on the words

Just a word of advice on the whole Mel Gibson phone freakout story – “never judge a situation by the end of a conversation“. About half the time things aren’t what they seem. They other half of the time they are exactly what they seem but we don’t know what to make of it.

UFO – The Man Who Came Back


via FoxyTunes hear it here


Elizabeth Hasselbeck in tears

some time

If you’re a regular viewer of The View then from time to time you probably ask yourself “What’s Elizabeth Hasselback babbling about this time?” If you’re a regular follower of Babs & co. then you probably ask yourself that every week day around 11 AM. Let’s face it – she’s Ned Flanders to America’s Homer!

so when did Ned Flanders get the sex change?

That is until recently. This current youtube clip f the fair Liz show her babbling away as usual, but crying as well. It’s not clear what provoked this fit of low key suburban dusty rose shag rug hysteria. Perhaps it was some cross words she’s rumored to have had with sports hussy Erin Andrews. Or maybe her bunt cake didn’t come out right – and she was gonna have Babs and the girls over for coffee & cake after the show too! Either way Liz is blubbing and babbling away about her kids and Bible devotionals – only slightly more than usual.

Nel Flanders is a goofy two shoes

She’s more than a goofy two shoes – she wouldn’t say “fuck” if her mouth was full of it! She may have also gone too far this time. Saying that Erin Andrews was encouraging her creepy stalker by sashaying around scantily clad on Dancing With the Stars comes uncomfortably close to saying that she asks for it. Now there are even talks that Elizabeth may be let go from the View, finally. So you can tell why she’s so worked up! It may take more than tears, children, and Bible devotionals to save her this time. The situation may call for a radical quantum leap in political correctness – like Gaea worship for instance. Here’s a short video which might help Ms. Hasselbeck get in touch with her inner goddess!


Charlie Sheen Faces the Music but Does He Know the Score?

2 1/2 Men star going off half cocked?

Charlie Sheen is going through a trying time. He goes to court today to face domestic battery charges made by his crack addicted wife stemming from the alleged Christmas Day Knife Fight at his home. The story has gotten complicated since then: Brooke Muller is saying that it never happened and her lawyer is saying that it did. Basically Charlie and Brooke have reached a legal impasse: Brooke won’t testify if Charlie doesn’t leave her and Charlie will pretend to reconcile if Brooke doesn’t testify. A $20 million a year meal ticket hangs in the balance!

Now this might sound crazy but you should know that Charlie is no stranger to intrigue. He’s a regular listener to conspiracy theorist Alex Jones – when he’s not surfing the net for illegal pills and borderline porn (according to Denise Richards during their divorce, though she now claims Charlie was a non abusive husband and a far out dad! 20 million meal ticket! BTW Alex is an acquaintance of Speidi and even briefly followed them on Twitter. Even tin foil haters can get star struck – but over Speidi?). He has even called the show. In fact he’s even narrated a documentary on 911. Let’s take a peep while we consider whether Charlie might get off on some insanity plea.

If you’re ready to face the truth then check out this mp3 of Gary The Spaceman Bell’s latest edition of The View From Space.


Kristin Cavallari tried to score coke @ Superbowl


Mad Mel’s Motor Mouth in Maximum Overdrive!

Edgy on the Edge of Darkness

Mel Gibson
drops his “p’s & q’s” during a TV interview. I wonder whether it has anything to do with his Australian accent?


Mel is as erratic and unpredictable as ever. After that he might have some more necessary mea cuple’s to make. Let’s hope that those aren’t made by way of Dr Drew’s Celebrity Rehab!

Bogus zen:

“Many people like to think that they’ll find balance AFTER they find success. But in reality, achieving balance IS success.” —Brian Koslow

“Live a balanced life—learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.” —Robert Fulghum

“Through the years I have found it wonderful to acquire, but it is also wonderful to divest. It’s rather like exhaling.” —Helen Hayes


Tila Tequila approaching 5150!

Now this is the kind of story that you just don’t get on Perezhilton, or any of those other over rated highly touted gossip sites. You can hear it right here and in Tila Tequila’s own slurred and incoherent words too! So pay attention cause she’s not making much sense!


Tila Army? – George W Bush wasn’t that out of it during his 8 years of chaos! Better get the butter fly net and the Valium syringe ready, cause this little birdy is ready to fly over the cuckoo’s nest. I just hope that she isn’t planning any invasions or anything.

tile tequila


"Funny Girl to Crazy Lady" – What’s wrong with Jennifer Aniston?

You’re OK, I’m OK, maybe

Depending on who you listen to Jennifer Aniston is either pregnant or on the verge of a breakdown. Now OK Mag is featuring a pregnant Jenn on their cover. The inside article make no claim that she is pregnant. I guess it’s assumed that since she’s 40 and sneaking around with Gerard Butler that nature will soon take it’s course.

Love is never having to say “I need a moment”

Meanwhile Hollyscope is reporting that Aniston is an emotional mess on the set of The Bounty. She’s having difficulty doing scenes with Butler. She’s leaving the set in tears. She even told an assistant: “I need a moment. This scene reminds me of Brad and me.” That scene better be pretty good or people will start suspecting that either Jenn is full of it, or not much of an actress. I take that last part back – no one portrays lukewarm emotionality and low key angst better than Aniston! If you’re doing a film about a woman who is vaguely aware of her own unhappiness and putting off dealing with it then she’s your girl! She’s had to channel real life experience to hit that one sour note so consistently (the way Jolie does sexy & crazy – only Jamie Murray did it as well on TV in Dexter)!

Is there a ‘Not OK Magazine’?

Not this again! Now anyone can sympathize with her having her marriage deliberately and intentionally wrecked by Angelina Jolie. No woman would want her aimed at their man like an iceberg at the Titanic. But this is going on ten years now and she’s still a weepy emotional boob. Suck it up, buttercup. Has she seen that guy lately? With that gray scruffy goatee he’s gradually morphing into one of the ZZTop guys – and not the relatively clean cut one! Angelina Jolie has completely ruined him and he is now unfit for human consumption! So get over it.

Maybe Jen’s going through the change. By way of that awkweird segue, here she is going through an interview with Chelsea Handler – soon to be bigger than Letterman!


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