In the Thicke of it

In my last post I reported that Robin Thicke and his lovely wife Paula Patton are splitsville. Now that’s despite being a powercouple of Brangelina proportions at least according to Robin’s dad Alan Thicke. Alan was the man who raised Kirk Cameron, on TV, into the fine upstanding man he is today. So Big Al must know something. That leaves us with the $64 000 question of what went wrong?

Well according to some sources things hit a sour note after Thicke’s performance at the VMA Awards. That’s where he got familiar with Miley Cyrus‘ rear end in front of an international audience. Not tthat this would phase Patton. She’s a pro and knows the score. When Miley Cyrus shakes her bum in the direction of Robin’s crotch, Patton knows that this is strictly business and nothing personal. Still it should be pointed out that no good comes from twerking, and as a public nuisance rates right up there with texting while driving and smiley face emoticons!

It was what happened after the VMAs that might be more noteworthy. Robin was out on the town and no doubt feeling full of himself. Everyone was talking about the the thing he just did, and the scandal as sticking to Cyrus. He  must’ve felt like Napoleon riding into Moscow in 1812. So he did what any young and full of himself fellow might do in that situation – he groped some random broad! According to some reports this got photographed, and the pix got sent to his wife Paula Patton!

Nor was this by any means the extent of Robin’s misbehavior. Robin was very recently in Paris. Now that’s an ideal setting for all kinds of romantic indiscretions. You just need the right location. Robin found that in the form of Club 79 West. That’s a nightclub – for those who need everything explained. Now night clubs are just choked full of strange temptations like booze, drugs, and pretty girls. Robin managed to run headlong into one of those temptations, and man this young lady is a doozy! As usual there were pictures. Just take a peep!

That Robin is everywhere you wanna be. Now when things reach this point then there’s explaining to be done. Robin himself has often said of his marriage that it’s “the most functional, dysfunctional marriage in Hollywood”. That statement has become a half truth – so even more commentary was required. Says Mr. Thicke “My only comment about the so-called scandalous photo would be that my wife and I are perfectly in love and very happily married, so, no complaints there.” Well some one must’ve had some complaint because now it looks like the pair are headed for divorce court.

There are probably many  lessons from these celebrity cautionary tales that are applicable to the everyday lives of real people like you & me. For instance if Miley Cyrus offers you the chance to go twerking with her, then think twice about it. Some powerful mojo might rub off! Also when you’re Napoleon riding into Moscow as conquering hero then take a lesson from history – Waterloo can’t be far off. Perhaps most importantly if you’re gonna flirt around on your wife try and be discreet about it in stead of shamelessly blatant. Women have their pride and publicly humiliating them can create a very bad situation. Let’s put it this way – if you piss off a woman, then the only light at the end of that tunnel might be an on coming freight train with your name on it! Just because the lines are blurred is no excuse not t o watch your step!

Now and after so many Napoleon references I’d be a jerk to hold this out on you so here it is – the post appropriate music video – presented to you in “eurovision”! I’m not sure if that’s anything like vidicolour of supermarionation, but Enjoy!

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Robin Thicke Breaks His Post-Split Silence

Proud Papa Alan Thinke once described his son Robin and daughter in law Paula Patton as a super couple, however it seems that the dynamic duo have run into a rough patch, perhaps involving kryptonite
Robin Thicke breaks silence on Paula Patton split

Alan Thicke was once quoted as describing his son and daughter in law ,Paula Patton, as a super couple, and compared them to Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie. At least he didn’t compare them to Superman & Wonder Woman.  If you’ve followed entertainment gossip to any degree then you know that show business is rough on relationships, even for super couples. So it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise that the Thicke’s have split.

These things can come apart in any number of ways: people grow apart, the pressures of respective career demands pull people in separate directions, or maybe Robin caught the missus spiking his smoothies with kryptonite. That last one would’ve been unforgivable! However after his Miley Cyrus tweaking episode it would be understandable.

Anyway here’s a brief video update on the Thicke split.

Robin and Paula seem like an attractive and personable couple. So it’s a shame. However there is other shameful news to take our minds off of it. Like Paula Deen and Duck Dynasty. Paula was a marque personality on one of those lifestyle networks. She taught American how to make tasty food by soaking everything in lard and then deep frying it beyond recognition. The idea seemed to be “wrap it in bacon and they will come”. So naturally she gained a following.

She lost that following after some unkind remarks of her’s became public. Those ignorant comments don’t need to be repeated here, but suffice it to say thats she ain’t gonna be getting any Martin Luther King jr. awards. So then it was scandal time. Internet posters vented their rage and acted like they wanted to see Deen smothered in lard and lowered into a deep fat fryer! Whether or not that would help her achieve a state of crispy golden perfection, I doubt it would change her attitudes any.

Now Paula at least had the very good sense to drop out of the public eye for a while. When you really fuck up bad sometimes it’s a good idea to give everyone a chance to forget about whatever it was that you said or did that pissed them off so mightily. However the recent comments of Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson have drawn Deen out of hiding.

You’ll recall that Robertson was interviewed in GQ Magazine. That because when you run a style based publication you naturally want the input of a guy in a John Deere cap and camouflage over hauls. It just doesn’t make sense. Robertson then went on to share his views on homosexuality – he doesn’t get it and thinks it’s against the Bible. He then went on to make some ‘insensitive’ comments about the plight of black people in the south. They were along the “so what was the big problem with that” vein. Some thought that Robertson had become officially worse than Hitler. Other speculated that he was sick of DD, and would do or say anything to get himself fired. If that was the plan it didn’t work. DD is A&E’s biggest draw – so they really couldn’t afford to lose him as long as viewers keep tuning in. Maybe tea bagger Sarah Palin’s impulsive defense of him helped.

So Paula has taken some exception to this. Basically Deen wants to know why Big Phil and the Quack Pack are getting some kind of a free pass on this while she was drawn and quartered (her only defender was the Rev Jesse Jackson who was quoted as saying he didn’t see how destroying her would be of any help). While her chicken fried empire was in jeopardy, Duck Dynasty kept rolling on like it was water off of a quack’s back. Meanwhile America’s collective sholestrol  levels are dropping dramatically – so Deen still has a difference to make! Here’s a brief video on that.

The public feels that there are no place for Deen’s rather obnoxious views. However there might still be an important contribution for her to make. As you may be aware Israeli actress Gal Gadot has been cast in a three picture Wonder Woman deal. This makes her the 1st official Wonder Woman since Lynda Carter. Gal’s tall, beautiful, a former member of the Israeli army, & a former Miss Israel. Plus she did her own stunts in several Fast & Furious flicks. There’s just one slight glitch. Gadot is a size 0. So she’s got to gain some weight before she can don the satin tights.

To that end Gadot has been on a weight gain intensive to bulk up for the role. The studio’s have send their top trainer over the the Promised Land in order to work with Gadot personally. So she’s into a grueling regime of physical training and martial arts. Basically they’ve done everything short of shooting the girl full of horse estrogen. She’s also on a 3500 calorie a day diet to get some meat on them bones. Every fashion model’s dream.

This is where Deen could come in. No one knows more about hi calorie diets than Paula. So why not let her redeem herself by sending her over to work with Gadot? She could act as her personal chef, & whip up some heavily buttered, thickly battered, deep fried goodies that could have Gadot bursting at the seams in no time flat! I doubt that Deen cooks kosher – but when the world is waiting for Wonder Woman, & the magic that she does, exceptions have to be made. The only possible problem with this scenario could be the possible side effects: like Gadot developing type 2 diabetes, or her pancreas exploding. That’s always an issue with Deen’s cookin’. Still a few serving of refried caramelized lard combined with grueling work outs and Gadot could be sprouting bulging new curves in no time!

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Justin Bieber Going to Trial in DUI Case, Not Seeing Miley Cyrus

Is Justin Bieber celebrity No. 1? He’s getting a to of media attention these days. That probably has something to do with his youthful high spirits, and many of the “problem” behaviors that go along with the that. Behavior like driving drunk. He’s gonna be standing trial over that. So expect even more media attention. Here’s brief video from the good people @ HollyscoopTV.


Could the news get any worse? When you’re a professional celebrity it can always get worse. now Bieber is rumored to be hooking up with the equally notorious Miley Cyrus. Some kind of photoshopped picture of them has been making the rounds. Miley has had to make some kind of public announcement saying that she & the Bieber are not any kind of item. At least that’s the story from HollyscoopTV.

About 4 years ago JB was an anonymous teen ager making youtube videos for his mom. Then the ugly hand of fame reached down and plucked him from obscurity and into a Pandora’s Box fame & fortune. Now the poor kid hasn’t had a dull moment in quite a while. Hopefully he can get his act together before Dr. Drew gets in on the act. Or even worse he winds up Dancing With the Stars.

So I guess the moral of the story is that super fame can open the doors to fabulous experiences like driving around drunk in a Bugatti, or whatever brand of car Bieber got busted driving drunk in. It can also open the door to some hairy misadventures. Then you can go from hero to heel as fast as the National Enquirer can hit the presses, or your latest tweet hits the Internet, or even worse your mugshot gets into general circulation. So if you must be famous, then watch your step, use your super powers wisely, & maybe think about developing some kind of secret identity!

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Pussy Riot vs the Riot Squad

The Riot Act

Outlaw Punk Band Pussy Riot gets a police beating in Sochi after interfering with Vladim ir Putin's plans once too often
Outlaw Punk Activist Band Pussy Riot

When you’re a member of Russian activist band Pussy Riot there are many things that you could be doing. For instance you could make a cool million by posing naked for Playboy. They wouldn’t be the first to make it naked. They could have their own reality TV series following their attempts to make it in the American music industry! They could even write their autobiographies blending their personal lives with the story of their political activism. Granted the ladies are a little young for memoirs, but that hasn’t stopped Miley Cyrus (whom I hear is still outraged about her name not having made Microsoft spell check yet!)! However it seems that the gals are more interested in acting like Julian Assange or something. In other words the girls are back in trouble! Let me explain…

Pussy Riot was more riot than pussy recently. It was at the Sochi Olympics. Now if rumors are to be believed this is Russian President Vladimir Putin‘s baby. It’s his chance to show case a world class Russia to the international community by showing everyone how far the country has come since the rough days following the fall of communism. In other words it’s a chance to make a good impression..

Sochi City Sirens: rogue heroes or no goodniks?

Now in life one person’s chance to make a good impression is often another person’s chance to make even more of an impression by spoiling things. That’s where Pussy Riot comes in. Putin is not universally beloved in Russia, and Pussy Riot has become a voice for those who would like him to retire, move on, and maybe crank out some baloney in the form of a political memoirs – as politicians usually due when their day in the sun is over. So the young ladies of PR like to give Mr Putin some help in the form of antagonizing him at every opportunity. Apparently there’s no better opportunity than the Sochi Winter Olympics. So like the Gotham City Sirens, the ladies swung into action (although without eye catching latex super heroine gear, which really might have helped their cause by attracting even more international media attention!).

So how did this recipe for disaster turn out? About how you’d expect only a little bit worse. The powers that be missed the whole political protest angle and cracked down on the outbreak of superdickery by sending in the cops. In this case the cops were the goon squad, and not the friendly funny goon squad with Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan either. This were a pack of ruthless bastards the likes of which Richard M Nixon might’ve sent onto American college campuses in the earlier 70’s to sort out student protesters by giving them a dose of reality!

Now what that means in plain words, and not blog content filler language, is that the ladies got the shit beat out of them. The police moved in, manhandled the band members, clubs and baton got swung, and then the Pussy Riot members were hauled off in a humiliating fashion. There was no defiant smirking to cameras as the were hustled off in handcuffs, but band members were carted off bodies and bones and bra straps into nearby waiting police wagons. They were then roughly loaded on board like so many sacks of potatoes on the way to the vodka distillery. Amazingly there is video of the shocking brutality and here it is – be warned, it’s not pretty!

something you’re not gonna see on Russia Today!

& remember to keep reading Wondertrash where everyday is a pussy riot of awkward protest and cyber vandalism! Well it’s mostly just cyber vandalism.

You don't ahve to be a Pussy Riot memeber to engage in random acts of wondertrash, just get invovled in some cyber vandalism - but bring your own latex cosplay super hero gear
Random acts of Wondertrash: Wonder Woman & the Statue of Liberty have never gotten along. It’s a girl rivalry thing!

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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Why Selena Gomez Left Rehab Early

It’s harder being Selena Gomez then  you think.  For one thing there;’s the whole Justin Bieber issue. Her erstwhile boyfriend has gone rogue or something. He could be on an international crime spree – I’m not sure. Selena begged him to let her go Bonny and Clyde with him. The whole thing could be valuable life experience that she could use in a new album. You know, the way Taylor Swift uses relationships. However it just wasn’t on.

Selena ain’t the only young woman with problems though. Take Miley Cyrus for instance. She’s had an interesting and eventful year that didn’t leave much room for an encore. However she found it, sort of. A Brit mag called starting floating quote from Cyrus dissing Beyonce. Basically she said allegedly that Beyonce is all washed up so it’s Miley’s turn now. In fact the mag had Miley saying – “As Beyoncé grows in motherhood and all the crap it does to your body, it will create a vacuum for fresh young faces to rise up and no one else can properly fill that void right now,” she’s quoted as saying. “I got the total package, you know, the curves, the rhythm, and the voice. I’m just the best.”

Now if she had said that it would be sheer madness. For one thing Beyonce’s husband is 32 degree freemason and music impresario Jay Z. He’s a kind of important man in the entertainment world. So if you have an aspiring music career then you don’t go around talking shit like that, unless you want you next gig to be on Dancing With the Stars.

So not surprisingly Miss Miley says she never said it. She took to Twitter too, to make that known. However she does more or less repeat the quote in her denial. At least the whole “hotter than Beyonce”, “Got the curves”, and “total package” stuff. She just bracketed it with “I never said that” and “So some liar made it up”. Or as she said – “That quote people MADE UP about Beyonce just made me lol! Imagine if I said I got ‘the looks and the curves I’m just better!’ Hahahahhaha,” she tweeted. And later, “making the liar retract the statement. U can cause ALOT of drama but NOT between me & B!”

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the most important photograph from the Golden Globes

Ryan Seacrest, by way of his tumblr blog, says that this was the most important photograph from the Golden Globes. Whatever would the caption read?

I just hope that Taylor Swift managed to escape before Jennifer Lawrence caught her.

Vanity Fair shelves Gwyneth Paltrow story

In other news somethings breaking on the Gwyneth Paltrow vs Vanity Fair story that’s been dragging on for about a year now. If you’ll recall VF had planned a big take down expose on Paltrow. Garydon Carter had one of his assistant editors lined up to write the piece. He said she was a pretty good writer and the thing was a go – or words to that effect. Then everything fizzled!

It fizzled apparently because Paltrow circled the wagons. She got in touch with her many A List friends like Courtney Love and told them that if VF comes around asking questions then just kindly tell ’em to fuck off. I think that she also recommended they avoid any future involvement with the hi profile mag, even regarding non Paltrow related projects! If Courtney Love’s response was any indication then when Gwyn talks people listen ’cause Courtz said that VF could fuck right off – or words to that effect. Since Paltorw numbers such luminaries as JayZ & Beyonce among her close personal friends, her ‘interdiction’ can count for a lot. Besides JayZ is rumored to be a 32 degree mason and lodge brother to Pres Barack Obama – so you don’t wanna piss this guy off! So the whole story stalled.

It looks like the story has gone from cold to off. There are even rumors that Vanity Fair has made nice to Paltrow. However some details of the story are leaking out. Nothing outrageous – just confirmation that there was a story, that it was gonna be an expose, and that it covered some unflattering details about Paltrow’s life. However there wasn’t anything released that would make raise your eyebrows. So the moral of the story is that you don’t mess with Pepper Potts! Now here’s a brief video from Hollyscoop TV (think of them as a kinder gentler TMZ, or merely another Entertainment Tonite) on the story that never was!

Gwyneth Paltrow must be one very powerful lady, so let me just take this moment to say “Wondertrash was behind you all along ma’am!” Never hurts to be a little bit nice to people with that much juice!

Miley Cyrus on W? What the Buck!

Now some one who’s mag cover did come out is Miley Cyrus on W. That’s because Miley is always more sizzle than fizzle. You’ll recall that she had that attack of twerking at that awards show. Miley also gives an interview with some personal commentary. It’s kind of a “what’s it like to be controversial?”: type of thing. Now one guy who’s privy to the details and ready to give you the gist of it is gossip commentator Michael “What the Buck?” Buckley. He’s also got something things to say, like Jimmy Fallon taking over the Tonite Show from Jay Leno who took it over from Conan O Brien, who took it over from Jay Leno – man I miss Johnny Carson! I’m sure we remember that painful period in the history of late nite TV so let’s try to put the unpleasantness behind us.

One good Buck deserves another – so now some Meatloaf!

So wish Jimmy the best of luck in his new gig. He’s a clever funny talented guy. TV talk can be a tough racket too. Just like pop music. Speaking of which what happens when classic talk and classics rock collide? Just watch this episode of Larry King Now in which the king of talk interviews Richard ‘Buck’ Aday. Now this Buck is better known to the most of the world as Meatloaf. I say most of the world because when Larry was first met him and was told he was being taken out for Meatloaf, he asked whether it was kosher or not!

Now don’t worry cause Larry got filled in on the whole Meatloaf phenomenon. Plus he got to ask Big Buck a lot of other questions like “How’d you wind up called Meatloaf?” If you’d like to hear the King grill some Meatloaf then just sit back and watch for the next approx 30 mins. Bon Appetite!


>

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Chantel Jeffries Denies Numerous Arrests After Bieber Drama

Justin Bieber‘s ‘girlfriend’ & her ‘life of crime’

Is Chantel Jeffries fast? Fast enough to hang with Justin Bieber. She was apparently at the ‘scene of the crime’. Or she was near by. Anyway her name has come up in connection with Bieber and his recent misfortunes. So here’s a little more on the mystery lady.

fast enough for ya?

courtesy of HollyscoopTV

Justin Bieber’s new chick Chantel Jeffries is not happy about reports claiming she has a
string of arrests in her past, or the fact that her life is exposed to
the public now that she is dating the Biebes.

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Chantel
Jeffries — who was in the Lambo the night Justin got arrested and in
Panama with him vacationing after the arrest, says the statistics of her
numerous arrests and bad behavior are wrong. A NY newspaper reported
21-year-old Chantel’s past including busts for assault with a deadly
weapon (a knife) and reckless driving. 92 mph in a 70. She finally
speaks and tells TMZ:  “I have not been arrested five times as has been
stated in the media, nor am I guilty of physically assaulting anyone, in
any way shape or form.” Her attorney explains Chantel was arrested when
she was 18 for a misdemeanor assault, but it was ultimately dismissed
due to insufficient evidence. Other than that, he says she’s only had
“traffic violations.” As for complaining about her new public life, she
says:  “I am a full time student who had enjoyed a normal lifestyle,
free from public scrutiny and criticism, until now. What has happened to
me is wrong.”

Back Side Story

ADrianne Palicki shows that Wonder Woman not only has to watch her back, but her back side!
Even Wonder Woman can get cheeky!

You know who else is fast? Gal Gadot. She’s been fast and furious for years before becoming the controversial new Wonder Woman. I say controversial because there has been some’ debate’ about her. Fanboys worry that her boobs aren’t big enough to fulfill their expectations. Others skirt the issue by asking whether she’s muscular enough. Suspicious types question whether they’re really referring to her ‘boob muscles’. If you’ve ever read comics then you know that a super heroines boob muscles are one of her most effective weapons in the battle against evil!

fasten your seat belt

Gadot’s also gotten in a little trouble for some of the ‘racy’ adds she’s done for Israeli upscale dept store Castro’s (if that’s like a Jewish version of Grace Bros then they could have their own TV show!). She did something a couple of years back that showed her naked in an elevator. Everything was pixelated into oblivion. So no one really got to see anything. Still there were some uptight religious types who got their noses, or something, out of joint. Sometimes when religious types get something out of joint over sex it’s lower down on the anatomy and usually right below the belt! I have to blame Gadot on that. You just can’t go around turning on people who can’t handle it!

Gadot’s ass goes rogue!

Gadot is once again proving to be ten thousand volts of current plugged into a 10 watt switchboard. She’s done another ‘racy’ video  for Castro’s that’s once again raising eyebrows, or something. This doesn’t involve vague pixelated nudity. Gadot is fully clothed in some very snug fitting blue jeans. She’s also twerking! Twerking is a bad habit that’s been making the celebrity rounds ever since Miley Cyrus at the VMAs.  Now since GG’s become a big deal she might have got too big for her boots and told Castro’s to go fly a kite. However she acted like a stand up broad and not only did their commercial, but appeared in a recent fashion show for them. Instead of getting credit for being down to earth and a good sport, poor Wonder Woman is getting shit for being too sexy in her latest ad, and is once again forced to defend herself! There have even been some reports filed with the proper government authorities with the intent of getting Gadot’s offending back side – or tush as they call it over there – banned from the airwaves. At least until it learns to behave it’s self in public (Sometimes celebrity body parts develop a life of their own and go rogue – like Angleina Jolie’s leg at the Oscars. In this case however it’s Gadot’s backside.). Now that you’ve got the vague back story, let’s have a look at that ad!

twerking with Wonder Woman

Now that’s what you call Shake & Bake! So it wasn’t Lawrence Welk. It wasn’t a grilled cheese strip tease either. She just got a little ‘cheeky’. Shit, Joey Heatherton was going farther than that on Serta commercials back in the late 60’s – and now a word from our sponsors!

& the legend lives on – whether she’s a perfect sleeper ‘beautiful dreamer awake unto me’. Anyway Gal Gadot didn’t exactly go Pussy Riot or anything. She just wiggled her ass in a TV commercial. Then again they’re not talking about sending her to Siberia – just banning her backside. If there are half as many religious cranks living in Israel as the Gadot protests suggest, then their open line radio shows must be a blast and a half!

Well Wonder Woman is finding out that in the fame game, & even if you’re a former Miss Israel, people will find fault. Either your tits are too small, or your ass is too big! Hang in there Wonder Woman! Is the world ready for you, and the magic that you do?

Now to leave you with some more vintage television commercial circa 1973. It was a simpler time, America struggled to come to terms with a President who did some mildly illegal stuff, Archie Bunker challenged ignorance by personifying it for Norman Lear, & back when Jim Rockford had just moved into the trailer! Let’s climb into the wayback machine for about ten minutes for some time travel nostalgia!

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