NYC’s Cannibal Cop – "Hey good lookin’, what’s cookin’?"

Girls with chemistry

Tweeting for democracy – Lindsay Lohan is actively apolitical

lindsay lohan has as much trouble as any American young woman like parents drugs arrests rehab and choosing which presidential candidate to vote for

If being Lindsay Lohan were easy then anybody could do it. Let’s face it the gig comes with some problems. Like the usual mother daughter situation. Lindz and Dina got into a spat recently over $40 000 Lindz loaned mom to keep a roof over her head. That lead to a tense Long Island limo ride and a visit from the cops. Lindz papa Michael got involved, because Lindz phoned him. He’s the one that called the cops. He also taped the called and sold it to TMZ. It also prompted Michael to take more interest in his daughter’s life: he surprised her with an intervention – that’s for the kind of life events Hallmark doesn’t make cards for, and is rumored to be seeking a conservator ship. Lindz has reportedly said that her father is now dead to her.

drawing fire

Things have kinda been hectic for the girl. So it’s not surprising that she’s backing off of her Mitt Romney endorsement. The actress came out in support of him recently saying that it was because the economy & employment was an issue. That drew some fire – since politics is a hot button issue. Since Lindz is in more hot water than she can handle right now she’s toned down the partisnaship.

twittering debate

The recent Presidential debate was the perfect opportunity to moderate her position. Lindz took to Twitter with a series of non  committal tweets in favour of both candidates, like “RT if you’re #ProudOfObama as our commander in chief.” & “We should be focusing on @BarackObama and @mittromney’s policies rather than their personal cliff-hangers w/women.” – which was in response to Vanity Fair. She topped the evening of politics & tweeting off with “Nice work to both @BarackObama and @mittromney. I’m so relieved that [the debate is] over. Maybe more than both of you…severe anxiety- God bless xo L” Now you have to give Lindsay credit for at least one thing, in choosing between father figures she’s learned how to hedge her bets!

Lindsay Lohan tweets the debate and learns an important lesson - when choosing between father figures remember to hedge your bets

artificial nudity – Megan Fox is blatantly satirical

Lindsay Lohan started out with Megan Fox, back when they were in Mean Girls together. Megan was the Mean Girl. Behind the scenes Megan says that Lindz used to get her to go to the corner store during shooting breaks to buy her cigarettes. The idea being that Meggers looked old enough to buy ciggies without raising suspicion. That was probably the last time Meggers looks didn’t raise suspicion!

Foxy big mouth

Since then it’s been a wild ride for both of them. Lindz has had her public battles with addiction, her parents, & the law, while Megan became a star in Transformers & the most ogled gal on Google, before falling out with her studio masters and slumping back into career low gear. The official story behind that was that when she called Transformers director Michael Bay “Hitler” in an interview Bay’s boss Steven Spielberg got miffed. Spielberg – who did Schindler’s List and who is active in Jewish charities, called up Bay and told him to get rid of the girl with the big mouth. After that Megan married long time partner Brian Austin Green and had a son Noah Shannon, born about 1 month ago.

and nod and a wink with your tongue in your cheek

Not that things have slowed down for Meggers & BAG. Green had to fork out $200 000 in a law suit to a former girlfriend.  Now Meggers is in legal shit of her own. Seems some naughty pix of Foxy have found there way onto a website called Celebrity Jihad. – if you’re an ent blogger then you wish that you’d thought of that name. CJ is a celebrity parody site –  if you’re an ent blogger then you’d wish you’d thought of that idea *wink* –  that likes to post “satirical” pix. In this case satire meant pasting Meggers head onto another woman’s nude body. You didn’t need to be a ent blogger to think of that (unless you’ve got the same idea of satire as a 14 yr old boy)! Foxy was not impressed.

appreciated but hard to believe

The Fox got in touch with her lawyers and they sent out some cease & desist orders – those things seem to be getting popular, hopefully Kate Gosselin hasn’t started a trend. Foxy wants the pix taken down as soon as possible, & may seek damages. Says Celeb Jihad to TMZ – “While we appreciate Megan Fox’s concern for her image, we find it hard to believe that a woman who spent two Transformers movies bent over with her breasts pressed together could have her reputation damaged by a blatantly satirical website.” While that may – allegedly – be true, Meggers has also just given birth, and you ain’t gonna calm down a hormonal woman with language like that. They should’a known!

Is Mandy Caruso the new Megan Fox?

BTW on the whole Megan Fox Nude Scandal – Foxy’s people claim that Celeb Jihad took Megan’s head and pasted onto an anonymous woman’s body in much the way Miley Cyrus and her boyfriend have recently had their heads placed on each others’ bodies. Miley’s rational is that even though it doesn’t really allow them to spend more time together at least it prevents them from spending more time apart. Codependent relationships can be a pain coupled with a burden!

As for Foxy’s recent head swap – my usual fictitious sources tell me that Celeb Jihad took an anonymous woman’s body and pasted Comic Con’s Mandy Caruso’s head on it. Now you can see how Mandy might be mistaken for Megan.

is Mandy Caruso the new Megan Fox?

Shit – Caruso might look more like Megan than Megan does!

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Bill Maher: "We Need To Promote Death"

Bill Maher: “We Need To Promote Death”. He needs to stop watching Dexter.

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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Celebrity superheroism

 wondertrash has a celebrity shit policy!

Have you felt an attack of verbal diarrhea coming on? When that happens it’s helpful to have an outlet, like a virtual restroom. Blogs are great for that. It also helps to have something to write about – low nutrient but hi fiber. That’s where celebrities come in. They give you some interesting shit to write about. So with that let’s get on tot today’s shit!

no good deed?

I’m not sure who Honey Poo Poo is be it animal minimal or virtual. I am vaguely aware of Rosie O Donnell. She used to have a crush on Tom Cruise back when she was the Queen of Nice and used to hang out with Nicole Kidman on morning TV. Oh how times have changed. Rosie’s still nice though. In fact she’s threatening to do a good deed! She wants to buy this Honey Poo Poo a house or something. Here’s the video report:

Who will save the world from Kim Kardashian?

That’s very generous of Rosie. While RoD is in a charitable mood I wish she could buy Kim Kardashian something. Maybe not a house but a high velocity turbo jet. Once Kim is locked and loaded inside then the jet could be aimed at parts unknown and fired off at top speed. That way Rosie could do something thoughtful for the rest of us by handling the annoying Kardashian problem.  Let’s face it, if O Donnell could pull that off then she’d outdo both Barack Obama and Mitt Romney in public opinion poles and become a viable third candidate for President! AS it is the closest Kim has gotten to parts unknown is Miami, & she brought her partner in crime Kanye West with her, just to make sure people notice.

coming soon Plastic Man?

Celebrities & superheroes have a lot in common.They wear their underwear on the outside. They both think of themselves as a little bit special (exceptional if not unique). They like to stand out in a crowd by trying to maintain intense personal privacy (celebs need to try the alter ego angle). Plus they show up in the movies and on TV a lot. Like Green Arrow. He doesn’t so much have super powers as a skill. That’s like when a celebrity doesn’t have looks and charisma so they have to have talent or something (a “juggling bear” as Kim Kardashian might say). Anyway Arrow’s talent is archery – like that Hunger Games chick. So he gets to fight crime by shooting boxing glove tipped arrows. I don’t mean to make it sound like a Road Runner cartoon. It’s not all boxing gloves. Sometimes he has dynamite tipped arrows. He also no doubt wears some of that nifty super hero fetish wear! He’s also got himself a weekly TV series. Here’s a review on that!

another weakly TV series

Erin Esurance – a lower profile then Joe Biden

Now ain’t that the most exciting news since the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers reunion )The only thing that’ll save Arrow is frequent guest appearances by Black Canary, & she’d better be bloody hot!)? It would’ve been even more exciting if Esurance had announced the return of Agent Erin! I hear that Esurance is keeping her in indefinite detention, holed up in some ‘museum of advertising’ (there were other sad rumours – weight gain, rehab, became a yoga teacher, etc. & even that she was knocked silly by one of Green Arrow’s stray boxing glove arrows, and then had to be put on medical leave). Erin Esurance tangled with numerous super creeps during her days as a special agent, but proved no match for her corporate masters – those big business types can be ruthless bastards when they want to be! On the bright side I hear that she hangs out over @ Second Life as a kind of Internet lost sprite.

Erotica Villainess – The voluptuous horror of Stevie Nicks

Celebrities have something else in common with Superheroes – they like to right perceived wrongs. Sometimes that streak of vigilantism makes them seem more like super villains. Take Stevie Nicks for instance. Stevie rose to fame as a 70’s rock’n’roll heart throb back in the day when she sung with Fleetwood Mac.Stevie has had her ups and downs since. Many of those ups and downs can include mood swings. Let’s face it for a petite blonde Stevie can get scary!

Celebrity death match – Stevie Nicks vs Nickie Minaj!

Most recently Stevie lashed out at Nicki Minaj over Mariah Carey. Says the Nickster. Seems Nickie was watching American Idol – reality TV is a bad idea for people with mood swings, when she came over ballistic or something. She took great exception, umbrage even, with Nicki M, & not just because Nicks last name is similar to Minaj’s 1st name. Here’s what scary Stevie had to say:

“How dare this little girl! … If I had been Mariah I would have walked over to Nicki and strangled her to death right there,” Nicks told The Daily as she was promoting her new documentary, In Your Dreams.
“I would have killed her in front of all those people and had to go to jail for it,” she added.

Nicks picking with a vengeance – I know it’s only mock’n’roll

Stevie wants to choke out a bitch, which is pretty far gone & would be almost inexcusable if Nicks wasn’t famous and promoting her new project In Your Dreams. I assume that’s some kind of rockumentary.  It’s also not the first time that reality TV has brought out the worst in some one. Personally I find it refreshing that some one is getting worked up like this over something besides the American Presidential Debate. Apparently Nicks hasn’t heard about Big Bird yet.

Something wonderful is about to happen – maybe it’s a wardrobe malfunction!

Now you might not be a Big Bird, or even an Erin Esurance, but that doesn’t mean you can’t let your inner celebrity shine like a superhero. So go out there and get wondertrashy!

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Paris Hilton says gays are "disgusting"

Paris Hilton recently got recorded describing homosexuals in less than flattering terms. In fact she describes them in terms that other people usually use to describe her! You can hear for yourself by playing the video below, & after turning down the Alex Jones audio player above.

Some people have pointed out that Paris is probably not the person to talk about sexual promiscuity, or diseases either, if the Valtrex rumours are true. Guess Mitt Romney glad he didn’t say anything like that!

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Mitt Romney vs Mister Burns

When it comes to the out of touch super rich who is more cliche Springfield atomic powered autocrat C Montgomery Burns or Republican Party front runner Mitt Romney. Take the test by trying to determine who said what! Incidentally Romney has some good friends who are Nascar Team owners, so even if he lacks the common touch he has heard about it.

Personally I find it refreshing when a rich republican has the guts to come out and say that he’s tired of pretending that he’s not special; unlike those hypocritical Republicans who attack him for being too rich. Have they forgotten which side they’re on? Is he one of those Mormon warlocks? – that’s the real question!

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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TMZ’s Sneak Peak at the Oscars

Everyone likes to see pretty people wear fancy dresses and pick up shiny awards while they’re scanning the crowd for signs of low key hostility and smoldering rivalries. In that line the Oscars are kind of like a high school prom on steroids! TMZ is on the beat to, and giving a sneaky peaky to anyone who wants a gander!

The Oscars should attract even more interest this year since there’s a Republican Presidential Primary going on and people might like a break from watch Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum blunder awkwardly around largely irrelevant issues like how many children a Mormon should have, and how much tax should he pay! If only politics could replace primaries with awards shows then the democratic process would become relevant again! Of course at least one politician would have to show up drunk at each awards ceremony and then say something that he probably shouldn’t.

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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