Reviews & Previews

The Social Network was number one a the box office this weekend. That’s the film about the 25 your old billionaire Mark Zuckerberg, who started a 25 billion dollar company as a university prank and alienated every friend he ever had in the process. Well no one ever said that you make friends by winning. Which makes it ironic that Zuckerberg’s company is none other than Facebook.

The film portrays Zuckerberg as freakishly intelligent and hopeless awkward socially. His arch nemesis, the guys he’s accused of stealing Facebook from, are twin 6’5″ meatballs (2 meat balls with only one ‘dick’ head between them) who rowed for Harvard, and for America in the Olympics. They basically sit back and let themselves get ripped off because fighting back would look bad, a violate an unrealistic and antiquated set of Harvard standards that even the university president finds laughable. So while they’re waiting for the world to turn back their way, Zuckerberg expands into dozen of countries and makes himself a shit load of money.

While he’s at it he hooks up with Napster’s Sean Parker, who is happy to encourage Zuckerberg the way the devil encouraged Eve in the old Testement. Parker is well played by Justin Timberlake, who manages to give Parker the right blend of obnoxiousness, pushiness, and sheer gutlessness. Parker sweet talks his way into Facebook after 2 failed ventures of his own by dazzling Zuckerberg with talk of revenge, sex, and eventual world domination. It’s at that poitn that the film devolves into a kind of humourless Revenge of the Nerds type storyline.

The movie is good, but might easily have been so much better. Zuckerberg and Parker become smary smug scapegaots of the piece. They’re depicted as over brained & under hearted assholes who carry a chip on their shoulders for not getting laid in high school. Yet everyone else in the film is some how complicit in Facebook’s dubious success: like the college students who enjoy comparing fat chicks to farm animals, or rating co eds based on relative hotness (there’s an algorithm for that!). The Meathead Twins don’t come off looking very good. They supress they urge to slap Zuckerberg down because they don’t want to come off as dumb jocks – a la Karate Kid. Then there’s the slightly moralizing lawyers who none the less circle around for the kill.

So the movie might have looked at the social context of college, and society, that made Facebook not only possible but unbelievably successful. It might also have looked at how new information technology is re arranging the way the social game is being played. It verged on that but never write got there. What it did do is add some serious momentum to Timberlake’s acting career by way of his impressive supporting performance. So it’s a highly enjoyable film that’s well worth seeing.

Now here are the official BO returns for the weekend. Not surprisingly Mr Zuckerberg is once again No 1!

Hot bad asses are always popular right? With that in mind Nikita is being remade once again. Here’s a little preview on that!

Needs more gratuitous bondage, like CTV’s Castle! Speaking of cartoonish hypersexuality and violence, guess who’s making an appearance on Smallville!

Then of course there’s CSI Miami!

Those aren’t the only previews. Hot on the heels of a bogus UFO sighting in Montreal – this one was witnessed by a gynecologist; he’s a credible witness ’cause he’s used to seeing things – comes Gary Bell and the View From Space. This week’s program centers on Imminent Disclosure!

So they’re here already and the government – through mind games like predictive programming – are preparing your consciousness to accept the truth; which may or may not be true depending on the agenda in play. Just keep alert around the 13th, or the 31st, or which ever combination of numbers are Illuminati significant for more UFO news. If it’s not actually disclosure then there’s bound to be some kind of UFO related story in the National Enquirer, or on Youtube. It might even show up on NBC. It’s just another small piece being added to an ever growing puzzle!

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Milla Jovovich Wants to Suck You In!

What’s the difference between Umbrella Corp. & British Petroleum? Well Umbrella Corp is a lot better at cleaning things up. Plus Umbrella Corp has to deal with Ass Kicking Alice, while BP merely gets an off the cuff one liner put down from Ms. Jovovich during her recent Comic Con appearance.

Milla has more on her mind than the state of the Gulf of Mexico though. She is also very excited about taking Resident Evil into the 3rd dimension! According to MiJo the 3DRE will bring you into the action, & she can’t wait to suck you in!

big bang theory

Isn’t it amazing how big Comic Con is getting. Once the studios released that it was a great venue to promote films by letting geeks interact with movie stars, people who had never read a comic in their lives were showing up and hanging out! It might be the revenge of the nerds, or it might just be hip to be square!


Megan at the moment

Megan and the sex Hex

Megan at the moment fox and the sex hex

Megan Fox on TwitpicMegan Fox Countdowns for Jonah Hex (73 days) and Transformers 3 (451 days till in theater).

Hopefully her character has one of those corny James Bond Pussy Galore type names. Lucida Grande maybe? Now that’s a ‘type name’ anyway.

You’ve got to give Meggers credit: Love her or hate her – and many do a little of both – in an industry where “world’s hottest” come and go she remains the one to beat. Rock on Meggers!

Palm d’Or to go please

Megan isn’t the only person with movies on her mind. A certain Desperate Housewife seems to have them on the brain right now. Eva Longoria has taken time out from the Follywood scene to go have her picture taken with Aishwarya Rai Bachchan again. She had to fly all the way over to France to get it done too. That’s the only time those two are ever photographed together in public. However every year at the Cannes Film Festival organizers wind up putting the desperate housewife and the goddess side by side for some publicity shots.

Les Miserables

Eva loves the annual trip, even though her knowledge of France is limited to “wine & cheese” picked up from her husband. It gives her a chance to push her agenda by hobbknobbing with the European glitterati and reminding them how great she’d be in their films, even if she only has a shaky grasp of their languages. Here’s Eva to explain herself for herself for a change. Let’s watch.

Wasn’t that a treat? Eva has shown how to comport yourself as an American in Paris. For instance “France” is pronounced with a hard “ra” like “Frank” not softer like “bra”. Ordering out with her must be like the Spam scene in Monty Python! Fortunately she’s got her husband to do the talking for her. I’m sure he used to taking her orders by now. During her next trip to Cannes, Tony should take some time out to educate her. Maybe he could introduce her to Paris’ seamy underbelly (Does the phrase ‘seamy underbelly’ combined with the name Paris make you think Hilton?) ! So Eva baby, you having extra Velveeta® with those cheese burgers over there?

Show business quote of the day:

“I like to play bad guys, since good guys are always beaten up several times during the movie. Bad guys are beaten only once, in the end.”

~ Michael Ironside


BBC Interviewer asks about Robin Hood’s accent, gets Russell Crowe’s dandruff up!

Stage fright & other shock tactics: Robin Hood & the Republic of Doyle

BBC Interviewer asks about Robin Hood's accent, gets Russell Crowe's dandruff up!Robin Hood
is opening against Ironman 2 and naturally Russell Crowe’s nervous. Russ is usually alright, but when he starts getting nervous his temper can get the better of him, & he can get impatient. Strange things can happen like phones start flying through the air. He might even wind up drinking and song writing in small east coast Canadian cities (Many of us have done our time on George Street, St John’s, NAL., it’s just that most of us didn’t fall so far to get there. Personally I just fell out of the driver’s side door to get there. Russ does keep his word though and his good buddies Doyle & co., alias Great Big Sea, were signed on to write music, with Crowe, for the soundtrack. Crowe has described Doyle as the first person he’s enjoyed writing music with in over 15 years – & Crowe’s been to Xanadu and back!). Crowe might have mastered the stage fright but those opening night jitters can still send him for a loop.

The temper’s tempters & a good Robin Hood?

For instance Russ was recently getting grilled by the BBC, or ‘the Beeb’ if you wanna put on a few little airs. The guy asked Crowe about Hood’s accent and Crowe respond ‘basically Irish’ (So the accents have come from his George Street Blues days too! A period that personally enriching deserves a movie of it’s own!).

It’s an honest answer – Robin Hood is about the ‘aboriginal British’ at a time when William the Conqueror’s grandchildren were settling in and the Doomsday Book’s ink was finally drying. Celts are the aboriginal English, so they become a reasonable source for the accents, as opposed to Michael Praed’s (& don’t get me wrong, until I see Crowe in the role Praed is still the best Robin Hood ever, and his successor Jason Connery the 2nd best. Connery was one of the best at being second best. Unfortunately he squandered his gift for TV by following his father’s footsteps into the movie world. Sean doesn’t help and Jason has never been more than a Blister: a B LISTER that is) received pronunciation (RP is an ‘artificial accent’ dreamed up by the public schools back in the days of Pygmaleon. The idea behind RP was to create Standardized Upper Class English and weed out the local dialects. Example of RP would be Jaime Murray – the Dexter actress and not the tennis player – and Ian Anderson. The Scots really took to P with a vengeance though the English were less enthusiastic about their own idea. Lack of enthusiasm about their own ideas is part of the English charm, along with passive aggression & and low key sardonic humor! Low key sardonic humor is sarcasm that’s too apathetic to have an ‘attitude’.). Worse still would’ve been Kevin Costner’s accent in Robin Hood: POT. That was only marginally better and much less entertaining than having Young Tony Curtis Brooklin up Sherwood Forrest. Short answer – even though Crowe gave a reasonable answer some how tempers got frayed again. Just listen to a recording of the interview from the Beeb.

Dealing with the media can be rough, especially when they’re more interested in playing gotcha than they are in asking serious questions. Short of laying down a headslap on them, what can you do. Well you’ve got to be savvy. Here’s NFL Hall of Famer David the Deacon Jones explaining how he originated the term ‘sack’ for tackle, shortly after developing the headslap. Jones’ shrewd understanding of the media resulted in a pay raise for NFL defensive linemen.


5 Films With Brooke Shields

Brooke Shields has been in a few films over the years. She’s in a new one called furry vengeance. She’s also seen a few flicks over the years. Not surprisingly she has a few favorites. Here’s Brooke talking about her 5 faves and why she likes ’em.

I like the way she picked Hurt Locker. Kissing up to the hot director de jour shows that she’s still in the game! Hopefully the tactic won’t backfire. Bigelow may have won the Oscar but Cameron is making the money. In Follywood cash is king, and that’s the bottom line. It’s hard to ego trip when you don’t have the price of a ticket.

While we’re on the honor roll trip, JLo has been named Style Icon of the Decade.

Paris Hilton says that they’re are a lot of crazy people in Follywood these days, so stay focused. That’s exactly what’s said right here on Wondertrash, except for the stay focused part. That doesn’t sound like Wondertrash – Wondertrash ain’t about goals!

Speaking of crazy people staying focused, South Park creators are in a whole heap of trouble after taking a swipe at Islam. Some extremists types don’t take it as apathetically kindly as Christians, Jews, Buddhists, etc (Although history as show man is capable of turning any belief system into an excuse for blood letting. Human nature needs to add some excitement to all the religious stuff!). Islam is a relatively young religion, and still has some excess energy to burn off.
Nice ending – promising to be back next week. It makes such a refreshing change from “to be continued”. A change is as good as a rest they say.

ON that note there are rumors swirling around that George Clooney is engaged or something.

What could’ve gotten into Big George? Maybe he’s afraid of dying alone. That makes the big sissy a little quitter with no heart for the game. I’d say reality might be starting to set in, but it seems more like George got the facts straight and still missed the point.


Jennifer Lopez Back-up Plan with a vengance

There has been a rash of alcohol related celebrity driving mayhem recently. So here’s a special Wondertrash musical dedication to all the Mel’s, Lindsay’s, and Heather’s out there – Nervous Norvis with the classic Transfusion!


Jennifer Lopez Back-up Plan with a venganceNow to move on from made man catastrophes to natural ones. Not much has been heard about JLo’s movie career since she deep 6’d Ben Affleck’s. That was way back in the days of Bennifer. Ben should’a known better. Jennypoo didn’t do much for Sean Puffy Puff Daddy Diddy Combs (hence forth to be referred to as The Puffster, for the sake of convenience), even though the Puffster basically made her what she is (boy does he have a lot to answer for).

Puffster produced her album, and the If You Want My Love video that was Jennypoo’s breakthrough. The next thing you know the Puffster was under investigation for discharging a fire arm in a night club. JLo and her big fat ass was at he scene of the crime. Some women have a way of throwing everything off kilter simply by being there (note Joan Collins as Edith Keeler in Star Trek episode “The City on the Edge of Forever”). Worse, witness claimed that they saw the incriminating fire arm come flying out from the roof of the Puffster’s limo as he and JLo sped away.

Seems that show business types figured out, eventually, that Lopez and her out sized ego were poison to anything they touched. So she had to settle for appearing in the tabloids, buying her husband Marc Anthony aka Ms. Money’s Honey, pro sports teams, and buying her twins diamond studded baby rattles. The last one is no exaggeration. She also buys them designer baby duds that she never lets them wear twice. Back in her restaurant days she even had a truck load of gourmet food dumped in to New York harbor for God knows what reason. Maybe just for the hell of it.

Now it’s been ten years since Bennifer, and some types who don’t learn their lesson have decided JLo’s colorful past is water under the bridge, or gourmet food into the harbor. So they’ve made the extremely foolish decision to back Lopez in another starring role – The Back Up Plan. JLo’s ego is up for it too. Movie posters feature JLo and her costar Alex O’Laughlin, but only JLo’s name, featured prominently above the film’s title. As if anyone would go to a movie based on her being in it. Jersey Girl proved that folk won’t even pay to see Lopez die on screen.

So what are we to make of this? Well let’s hope that the movie’s backers also have a back up plan, just in case history repeats it’s self again. This could be another No Reservations!


Sex and the City 2 – Return of the Cougars!


Vampire Diaries Cast Update: Isobel

Remember, Mischa Barton, any project involving vampires!!! The occult is very big right now. With that in mind let’s take a look at the pagan origins of some of our favorite holidays, like Christmas & New Years Day!

So fight the New World Order bikini style! Hey, if it’s good enough for Emma Watson in the next Harry Potter!

Even New Moon is showing some nipple, apparently.

Remember, if you haven’t seen the film, then you can still write the review by turning one sentence into seven! Personally I find actually seeing the film undermines my objectivity!


Ashton Kutcher goes wild in Spread

It’s been a while since we’ve heard from Ashton Kutcher, but he’s been up to more than single handedly popularizing Twitter. He’s got a new movie and here’s a preview!


Hugh Grant & Teen Aged Girls – it’s not what you think

Disclaimer: No teen aged girls were harmed in the making of this video.

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