Nic Cage gets arrested

Nic Cage is an interesting man: he named his son Kal El – after Superman, he’s built a pyramid shaped mausoleum down in New Orleans that he hopes to one day be buried in, and he has an interest in conspiracy theories – which may have been the basis for a few of his films. He also as a volatile marriage. His marriage is what’s got him in today’s exciting post.

Seems Mr Cage was down in New Orleans with his wife – the lovely and talented Alice Kim. She would be the mother of Kal El I guess. Anyway Mr Cage was feeling no pain, and by that I mean he was inebriated. Sometimes when alcohol starts doing your thinking for you it also starts doing the talking. Sometimes it makes married men get a little brave with their wives too. Cage and Kim were having a difference of opinion, and since the alcohol was disagreeing with him too – he must have felt the 2 on 1 situation was a bit much. So Nicky got loud and mouthy!

Well with all the drunken shouting and hollering that was going on 2 of New Orleans finest pulled up. They’ve been on hi alert every since the Bog Easy became a disaster zone, and so the hullabaloo must’ve attracted their attention. Anyway they pull up and want to know what the fuck is going on. This changed the power dynamic of the situation from 2 on one to 4 on 1: Nic versus his wife, the booze and 2 cops for those of you keeping score. Naturally that’s gonna make anyone defensive. especially if they’re a little strange and drunk out of their mind. So Nic gets mouthy with the cops. Now anyone fresh of the back of a turnip truck could tell you that’s a bad idea!

While every one is shouting and hollering like a pack of hillbillies with a bad case of moon shine poisoning Nic says those magic words “Well why don’t you just go ahead and arrest me!” When it comes to slapping on the cuffs the boys in blue usually don’t need any encouragement. In this case Nic’s wish was their command. They had the bracelets on the lad, and him in the back of the squad car faster than you could say “TMZ”. That lead to the following mug shot -to be added to that ever growing celebrity rogue’s gallery:

It’s quite a bit different from another mug shot, the one that launched his career in Raising Arizona – but that’s the difference between movies and reality for you. Here’s that other mug shot for some side by side comparison!

Those were happier times – he started out like Jeff Spicoli and wound up like Sean Penn; how ironic!

Anyway his wife has made a statement on the incident – sort of. She has insisted to cops and to the media that there was no domestic abuse involved. Nic never laid a finger on her. He was just being a jerk. She also isn’t planning to press any charges. That’s good cause Cage is already out on 11 000 bail. This is were it gets interesting. Just guess who bailed him out! That would be none other than celebrity bounty hunter Duane Chapman – better known to the world as Dog!

Dog has made a public statement to the effect that he will not be making any public statements about the Cage Affair. I think that he means he won’t be making any more public statements. Then again nothing was ever strait forward in Hollywood. Things there don’t make too much sense either! While keeping mum on the matter Dog went on to say that he is a huge and committed fan of Mr Cage. He also wants to remind the public that he is a consummate professional, and Mr Cage is his client. That means Mr Cage can count on him, unless Nicky makes a run for it or something. Dog does says that he doesn’t think a bail skip is gonna be a problem in this case. With Nicky you can’t be too sure though. No word on whether Starwhackers were involved in this incident. Maybe they have targeted Cage for getting to close to the truth through his amateur conspiracy work. If so I’m sure we’ll be hearing about it in one of Cage’s upcoming movies. That is assuming Cage doesn’t do a bail skip and forcing Dog to put the smack down on him!


Jaime Pressly – Earl Girl Busted for DUI!

a boozer, a user, & a loser – trashy and hilarious

You may remember actress Jaime Pressly from such shows as Trailer Park Boys rip off series My Name is Earl. She’s the one who played the blond tramp who was constantly trying to kill her ex husband – Scientology Jason Lee. Jason Lee may have never worked out his karma, but karma recently caught up with the hot trampy blond. The TV slut got busted driving around Santa Monica at about 11 PM. The cops noticed some erratic driving, pulled over the actress, and performed a field sobriety test; which the little slut failed! After that she got whisked away to the Lindsay Lohan Celebrity Holding Cell and held on 15 000 bail!

Now just because Pressly played a drugged out drunken tramp on TV is no reason why she has to act like one in real life – though you have to admire her commitment to holding up the image! Still let’s give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe all those years on Earl finally caught up with her. Since it was about the only significant role that she has ever had it was bound to make an impression on her little bleached blond head. She did do more than one hilarious mug shot back in her trailer park days. Lets have a little look back at JP’s greatest hits!

So Ms Pressly has had some practice in posing for mugshots. IN fact she cut a merry figure indeed, back in her Earl heyday. In real life she seems much more crest fallen. Then again, as Lindsay Lohan, Mischa Barton, Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, and numerous others could have told Ms Pressly, the real thing is a lot different then say the Earl thing. So even though she got tons and tons of attention over it, it might not be much to smile about.

We should give Ms. Jaime a break though. This was bound to happen. It’s been brewing ever since her bachelorette party! That was when she got photographed by some near by paparazzi while performing “dare number 8“. Lest you ask what dare number 8 was, here’s one those embarrassing pictures!

Jaime laughed that one off, claiming that it was a fake. She claimed that she poured water out from a near by bottle, just out of site of the cameras. Still the whole deal was embarrassing enough tog et her featured in infamous celebrity blog Perezhilton. So after that, you’d think getting featured in a real life mugshot would be a snap! She’d better shape up though, or her next role will be as Jerri Blank!

Going Straight – sort of

BTW To avoid confusion Jaime Pressly is the girl from Earl, and not the psycotic girlfriend from season 2 of Dexter. That would be another Jaime – Jaime Murray. Ms Murray has not been involved in any criminal activity, but spends her time quietly, avoiding men and hanging with ex Dex castmate Julie Benz – *wink, wink*. Now don’t go thinkin’ about that too much or you’ll get moist as a snack cake down there, or at least all mildewy!


David Cassidy DUI

marshmallow stars

David Cassidy Mug Shot

Celebrities can have fits of bad judgment. This is especially true if the poor wretches are former child stars. Among child stars names like Danny Bonaduce usually get the bad ink. Danny’s Partridge Family co stars have have kept their noses clean – with the exception of Susan Dey and her battle with anorexia. That is until now. Reports are coming in that another member of the musical TV clan has gotten into some legal trouble and this time it’s – wait for it – David Cassidy.

Cassidy played the oldest son and lead singer on the early 70’s hit show. He was also one of the original TV teen heart throbs, along with Ricky Nelson and Bobby Goldsboro. He was fairly well connected too. Shirley Jones who played his mom on the show was also his step mother in real life. She was married to Dave’s dad – star of stage screen and TV Jack Cassidy. His mother is Evelyn Ward. Since both parents were performers they toured constantly. So Dave was raised by his grandmother in New Jersey. His relationship to his parents can’t be called close – they were divorced for 2 years before David found out!

Life was to improve when David entered the family business. As Keith Partridge he became one of the most popular TV performers in the 1970’s. That’s the show that also gave us Danny B and Susan Dey. After the show went off of the air Cassidy’s career moved into low gear. He did some live Vegas style performances. He also briefly volunteered to be former co star Danny Bonaduce’s sobriety coach. Neither of these projects blossomed into long term career options.

David got by. He continued to perform. He wrote an autobiography. He married a slew of attractive woman and fathered several children. He continued to speak fondly of co star Susan Dey, whom he said had a massive crush on him but wasn’t slutty enough for his tastes. Not surprisingly communications between the former co stars broke down – “on her end not mine” Cassidy reports. Oh yeah, and he also recently got busted for DUI!

David was careening around the Florida turnpike in his White Mercedes Wednesday even – and by careening I meant hat he was all over the road – when some friendly officers pulled him over and inquired into his condition. Since Dave had a little trouble standing up without swaying from side to side, the officers administered field sobriety tests. That lead to Keith Partridge being hauled off to the can! It also lead to the latest celebrity mug shot!

Dave registered a 1.41 on the breathalyzer (having once blown a 1.55 I can tell you that’s a lot of drinking! Now that’s a story, but since I’m not a celebrity it gets to stay secret.). DAve copped to a drink at diner, plus he said he popped a hydrocodone – which might have made him seem moer drunk than he was. The officers found a half empty bottle of Labrot Graham Woodford Reserve Kentucky Bourbon in the back seat, and that made them suspect that Cassidy was way more drunk than he was willing to let on. So that meant that Dave had to spend some time on their company. Up until 3 AM when he was released on $350 bail, that is.

Not surprisingly Dave takes issue with the official story. Well his PR rep Jo-Ann Geffen is. According to her his side is that Dave was not drunk. For one thing Dave, via his mouthpiece, claims that officers screwed up the breathalyzer – so the results are not valid. At least he didn’t claim that Mark Furhman was administering the test (though Fuhrman might well have been. I can’t imagine that his career went anywhere but down after his own brush with fame). Dave also insists that he wasn’t 100% that day. he’d attended a funeral that morning. So the poor fellow was worn out. Now he does cop to taking a glass of wine, and the hydrocodone. His back was out (that excuse again) and he needed to do something about the pain. However he was not swinging down bourbon behind the wheel like some good ole boy on his way to a NASCAR day at the races. Dave insists that he would never endanger fellow motorists in that way! The up shot of that is that at least he knows why what he allegedly did was wrong – which puts him light years ahead of your average celebrity offended (Nick Hogan for instance). That’s good, since it means the situation isn’t serious enough for a Partridge Family Celebrity Rehab Reunion!

Tom Cruise & the Legion of Superheroes!

IN other news: last night’s election results may have shaken many Americans – the ones @ MSNBC anyway (Hang in there Contessa Brewer), but never fear. Help is open the way because Tom Cruise has a plan. The former A List actor recently announced that he is going to end the war on terror by converting Al Qaidaist from backward Islam to enlightened Scientology. Once the auditing kicks in then they’re bound to see the error of their ways, and understand that the real enemy isn’t Wall Street Bankers, British Petroleum (they’re part of the Illuminati!), or the Rove-Cheney Gang; but Xenu and the minions of darkness! Here’s apicture of Tom cavorting with a cause!

You have to admire Tom’s attempt to find a peaceful resolution to this difficult situation. Hopefully, with greater awareness, differences can be worked out, and an optimal resolution reached. If not, Tom has a Plan B – and that involves ass whipping Mission Impossible style. To that end he has Jessica Alba on stand by and in a cat suit!

Jessica normally doesn’t prowl the streets of LA dressed like Catwoman, but Tom has her on speed dial and the call could come at any moment. So she has to be ready to swing into action at a moment’s notice. It’s reassuring to know that we can rest securely since celebrities are on the job. I just hope that Tom and Jessica haven’t hired Keith Partridge as their wheel man in this caper!


Is Lady Gaga a soul stealer?

More Gaga

Lady Gaga
has been accused of some weird shit, like being a hermaphrodite, being a bad influence, being a druggie, corrupting the youth of America, ripping off Madonna’s routine, and being a member of the Illuminati (according to Tila Tequila). Now she’s been accused of soul stealing. If she hasn’t exactly stolen some one’s sol then she is being accused of stealing their work and style.

Gaga used to work with a young Russian woman named Lina Morgana. Now Lina’s mother Yana has come out and claimed that Gaga ripped off Lina’s act – so that get’s Gaga off the hook with Madonna at least. According to Yana, her daughter Lina – who committed suicide – pioneered the act. Then Gaga turned around and ripped it off. She imitated everything from Lina dress style to her music.

Even worse Yana claims that gaga misappropriated Lina’s life. Gaga alsways claims to have had a dark and depressed upbringing. Ms Morgana points out that Gaga was raised pretty well off. Gaga even went to an elite Catholic girls school, where she was a class mate of Nicky Hilton. According to Morgana, Gaga had everything she wanted out of the world. It was her own daughter who was dark and depressed.

So the basis of Morgana’s complaint is that Gaga is using her daughter as the material for her own act. Worse still Gaga is doing this without crediting Lina. With that in mind Yana Morgana wants the rights to release some Gaga-Morgana material. That’s about 12 songs that the gals worked on together. Now with the right to release them comes also the right to cash in on them.

Soul stealing is a harsh term. Unless Gaga has been taking voodoo lessons from Angelina Jolie, this seems more like a case of some one ripping off borrowing from a former partner. In entertainment they do it all the time. It’s usually called inspiration, unless they get caught at it. Then it’s called a tribute. If this is an uncredited tribute then Gaga has done pretty good by it. SO why then shouldn’t Yana Morgana get a piece of the action. Her name is just as catchy as Gaga’s (another crucial link in the chain of evidence!), and her daughter is in the 12 videos! Family is family, but it’s funny how money usually has something to do with it.

don’t leave home without it – but know when to keep it in your pants!

In other news Divine Browne is getting married. Now if you don’t know who that is then just think Hugh Grant. Browne was the chick he got arrested with back when he got caught by LA’s finest getting a 40$ blow job in the back seat of a car. Grant tried explaining that one away by claiming that Browne was an old friend. that may be true – but the police suspected that he was seeing her in her professional capacity. So off to jail he went; and long enough for a nifty mug shot!

Well Hugh’s life and career went into a tailspin after that. His significant other Liz Hurley, walked out on him. This in spite of the fact that she’d been screwing Tom Sizemore (they met on the set of Passenger 51) long before Browne was ever heard of. Sizemore regarded seducing Hurley as a triumph, since he hated Grant. Tom says that during his wild animalistic sex with Hurley (that’s right, according to Sizemore, Hurley was a tiger in the sack!), he kept picturing Grant’s “smug handsome” face. That set most folk to wondering why Sizemore was thinking about a guy while he was doing a girl.

Since Hurley and Grant were a package deal sold to the American public as “high class sex” their split up was a career set back for Grant. His solicitation arrest didn’t do much for his shy Englishman image either. Anyway he was soon recast from Mickey Blue Eyes type roles, to ones where he played creepy cad types. He also starting flipping out at paparazzi on a regular basis. The was photoed trying to nail one annoying shutter bug with a can of baked beans (only in England!) – that story is in the Wondertrash archives. He then went on to kick another guy in the groin.

Hugh was a troubled man during that period. Then just when it looked like things had blown over, Divine Browne comes back out of the wood work. The former hooker has announced that she’s becoming an honest woman, and getting herself hitched up. Naturally she wants to invite Hugh. Understandable since Grant has done so much for her. More than the $40!

Since Browne’s brush with fame she’s pocketed almost 2 million in media deals. So she’s marrying as a rich woman. Since Grant made this possible it only seems right and good that a place be set for him amongst the wedding guests. Whether he’ll show or not is another matter. My advice – be a good sport, show up, and drink as much champagne as they’ll let you. After all, Hugh earned it!

Now for celebrity trivia purposes Hugh’s arrest number – s shown in the above mugshot – is BK4454813. The Illuminati will know exactly what that means (adds up to 32), and why Hugh is so unhappy about it. As for the rest of us, it makes a nifty computer password (not mine!). It also serves as a reminder that anyone can get into a little trouble with the law. Even the best of good guys.

Wonder Woman (1987) 220 - Batman - City - Police Car - Handcuffs - Pistol - J Jones

The above instance it might have had something to do with repeated cases of indecent exposure!

We can only hope that Wonder Woman has learned her lesson. However I fear that like Lindsay Lohan, Wonder Woman is incorrigible!

Wonder Woman is incorrigible!


Shannon Price Cashing In On Death

Shannon Price is the ex wife of the late Gary Coleman. She’s not doing n herself an favors either. For one thing her call to 911 was perceived as a little cold. When the operator asked her to go in and check in on her husband, she responded that she’d rather not because it would make her uncomfortable. She was also the one to order the plug pulled. Now she’s sold Coleman’s ‘death pictures’ to The Star for an undisclosed sum of money. Naturally that’s provoked some outrage and even more commentary. For the outraged commentary let’s go to the mainstream media via CNN.

Shannon says what they had was ‘golden’. Well might it be as she goes on cashing in on it. That’s something that she almost certainly will do. However with Gary’s estranged family coming out of the wood work for their piece of the action she might have some heavy competition on her hands. Besides, even CNN is now as much as saying murder. If that takes off she’ll have some real trouble on her hands. Poor Gary sure could pick ’em.

When Gary had his fall the first thing that passed through the minds fo many was “Did Shannon help him over the stairs?” Of course everybody didn’t some right out and say that – they’re not Internet bloggers. Her statements about fearing he would soon die, and that they were having a re commitment ceremony (just like Anna Nicole Smith had before her own untimely demise!), didn’t help. It’s as if the crafty woman were preparing the ground and postioning herself to take advantage – “allegedly”.

So that leaves us with the question “Could a celebrity possibly do such a thing?” The vaguely famous are no strangers to the wrong side of the law. Take Real Housewife Sonja Morgan. She didn’t push anyone over the stairs – that we know fo. She did get herself busted on DWI/DUI. That let to another celebrity mugshot!

She kinda looks like former Desperate Housewife Nicolette Sheridan.

Now from the offensive to the blandly outrageous, here’s another look at that Sandra Bullock Scarlett Johannson kiss.


Nic Cage loses his shit

National Treasure & Greatest America Hero – Nic Cage Power Man

Now everyone knows that actor Nicolas Cage is a bit fucked up in the head odd. In England they’d call him eccentric, in New England they’d call him a character, the rest of us would call him bat shit insane if he weren’t Francis Ford Coppola’s nephew.

For instance he called his son Kal El. That’s Superman’s kryptonian name from the DC Comics. No word on whether or not Nic has had the lad tested for kryptonite allergies, but don’t be surprised if he’s tried. Hopefully Nic won’t be too disappointed when the kid doesn’t develop super powers.

moon rocks from a larger lunacy

Nic has also managed to rack up a hefty debt. So much so that he’s had to sell off one of his mansions. Most folk can’t imagine how you can make that much money and still land in the hole, unless you’re into really stupid stuff like buying moon rocks and meteors from the Russian mafia. Don’t believe the spiel about moon rocks having collectible value. That’s just something that the Russian mafia says to con the suckers. They’re not even really moon rocks – just mundane volcanic lava!

Great Caesar’s ghost! Did Cage go off his meds?

Now Nic has out Caged himself. In fact he’s rushed in where Michael Jackson might have feared to tread. Though mired down in mounting debts Cage has blown a wad on his final resting place. It’s a 9 foot tall pyramid in a New Orleans’ cemetery.

It’s good to hear that he’s finally thinking of his future and doing some planning ahead. That’s very proactive of him. Unfortunately that kind of silliness might not help him too much in the here and now. As to why he picked out such a monstrosity, well he is the guy who brought us National Treasure. So it’s probably some kind of Freemason thing.

Bad news is that the pyramid won’t transmit his post life Thetan to Beta Epsilon or Sirius, or where ever the crazies think they go after they die, unless it’s been properly aligned with the stars. That’s how the Pharaohs did it (the precession of equinoxes was a blow to many ancient belief systems that hadn’t taken the Earth’s polar drift into account). If he realizes his mistake in time he can go back to work on his inter galactic transporter beam. Perhaps he can even have himself cryogenically frozen to be revived in a future advanced enough to appreciate all that creativity.

after lsoing his home - yes it happens to celebrities too - nic cage drops a wad on a 9 foot pyramid

Of course there may be a rational explanation for this (although there probably isn’t). Maybe Nicky has a Joanna Cameron fetish. BTW just imagine the rubbish Cage must have picked up off of EBay that no one knows about.

does nic cage have a joanna cameron fetish

Gallo talks smack – cutting words against the family trees behind Hollywood’s corp pyramids

PS If there’s one Follywood actor even farther out there than Nic Cage, besides Gary Busey,then it’s Vincent Gallo. Gallo has some colorful things to say about Cage uncle. He refers to FFC as Sofia Coppola’sfat pig father“. That’s not the only hi powered director Gallo dislikes. He calls Martin Scorsese a “has been ego maniac who hasn’t made a good film in 25 years“. He then goes on to say that he wouldn’t work for Scorsese even if he was offered $10 million to do so. I hope that Gallo ain’t waiting by the phone for a call from Marty, ’cause I don’t think that it’s coming. Most startlingly Gallo accuses Julia Roberts of pulling an Angelina Jolie and doing it with her brother Eric Roberts. That’s why they don’t talk anymore. It’s hard to stay friends with some one you’ve fucked, especially if they’re your sibling!

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American Idol Arrested in Catfight

singing hopeful gets criminal record

didi benami eliminated from American IdolLast night America Idol contestant Didi Benami got sent packing. This was after giving a performance that Simon Cowell described as a million times better than anything she’d previously done. It wasn’t enough.

Didi wasn’t the only Idol to have a bad night. Stephanie Edwards from season 6 of Idol (the Jordan Sparkes season) got herself busted for an altercation with another woman. Edwards has had a previous history with the woman. Steph says that the woman has been harassing her.

from competition to confrontation

Edwards apparently went to the woman’s home, in Savannah Georgia, to have it out. Well on thine lead to another, and that lead to a brawl. The brawl lead to police intervention, and charges being laid. Stephanie Edwards is only 22 and she already has a run on American Idol under her belt, and now a nifty mugshot waiting to make the rounds of the internet. She’d better leave something for an encore, like a fling with Tiger Woods or Jesse James.

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Another D Listed mugshot – throw it on the growing pile

Stephanie Edwards catfight mugshot
America Idol might have a dodgy record with former contestants getting themselves into trouble, but it’s still a million times tamer than pro figure skating. No one has gone Tonya Harding on Idol yet.

AS for poor Sandra Bullock, the latest news has her reeling with shock after accidentally discovering some hard core porno on one of her husband’s laptops. Sandra was hurriedly packing her stuff to get out of the house and as far away from the Vanilla Gorilla as possible. In the confusion she grabbed his computer apparently by mistake. When she got back to her place, discovered it was his, and began rooting around in the files she discovered some shit so bad that she had to call professionals to remove the offending piece of electronic equipment from her presence. No word on what the hard core porno actually was. The tabs are playing coy on that. Probably something to do with dogs, tattoed strippers, and neo nazi bikers together in the same sordid scene.

sandra bullock discovers hard core porno on the vanilla gorilla's laptop

Now here’s Gary Spaceman Bell with a little something on the dark side of the music industry!
Find more music like this on space


Gary Coleman Mugshot

Gary has been charged with domestic assault and is being held on $1,725 bail.


CYBILL SHEPHERD’s son arrested

The son of former TV actress Cybil Sheppard recently got in some trouble while taking a flight. Now this story – happily – has nothing to do with exploding underwear. Apparently young Cyrus Zacharia Shepherd -Oppenheim, 22, took advantage of sleeping fellow passengers by going through their carry on bags as they slept. He carried off, among other things: money, a digital camera, a cosmetics bag and another small piece of luggage. Naturally that resulted in an arrest upon landing @ Philadelphia International Airport, and this nifty celebrity mugshot to add to a growing collection!


Charlie Sheen Mug Shot

Actor Charlie Sheen alias Carlos Irwin Estevez was arrested in Colorado earlier to day on domestic violence and related charges. He is being held on $8500 bond, and has to remain in jail until his first court appearance on Monday. There are some rumors that he was ‘fending off’ an attack by his wife.

It’s Complicated

This is more bad news for the star of Two And A Half Men (although it’s practically 2 and 2/3 Men, since one of the co stars is maturing rapidly). Sheen had a messy break up with his previous wife Denise Richards. During that bust up nasty allegations about hookers, sex addiction, Internet porn, drug use, etc were bandied back and forth. Denise got the kids and Charlie won the publicity war (Denise shot herself in the foot with her generally skanky behavior; eg. Richie Sambora, which undermined the credibility of her mudslinging). This latest incident might have people asking “What, again?”

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