Celebrity superheroism

 wondertrash has a celebrity shit policy!

Have you felt an attack of verbal diarrhea coming on? When that happens it’s helpful to have an outlet, like a virtual restroom. Blogs are great for that. It also helps to have something to write about – low nutrient but hi fiber. That’s where celebrities come in. They give you some interesting shit to write about. So with that let’s get on tot today’s shit!

no good deed?

I’m not sure who Honey Poo Poo is be it animal minimal or virtual. I am vaguely aware of Rosie O Donnell. She used to have a crush on Tom Cruise back when she was the Queen of Nice and used to hang out with Nicole Kidman on morning TV. Oh how times have changed. Rosie’s still nice though. In fact she’s threatening to do a good deed! She wants to buy this Honey Poo Poo a house or something. Here’s the video report:

Who will save the world from Kim Kardashian?

That’s very generous of Rosie. While RoD is in a charitable mood I wish she could buy Kim Kardashian something. Maybe not a house but a high velocity turbo jet. Once Kim is locked and loaded inside then the jet could be aimed at parts unknown and fired off at top speed. That way Rosie could do something thoughtful for the rest of us by handling the annoying Kardashian problem.  Let’s face it, if O Donnell could pull that off then she’d outdo both Barack Obama and Mitt Romney in public opinion poles and become a viable third candidate for President! AS it is the closest Kim has gotten to parts unknown is Miami, & she brought her partner in crime Kanye West with her, just to make sure people notice.

coming soon Plastic Man?

Celebrities & superheroes have a lot in common.They wear their underwear on the outside. They both think of themselves as a little bit special (exceptional if not unique). They like to stand out in a crowd by trying to maintain intense personal privacy (celebs need to try the alter ego angle). Plus they show up in the movies and on TV a lot. Like Green Arrow. He doesn’t so much have super powers as a skill. That’s like when a celebrity doesn’t have looks and charisma so they have to have talent or something (a “juggling bear” as Kim Kardashian might say). Anyway Arrow’s talent is archery – like that Hunger Games chick. So he gets to fight crime by shooting boxing glove tipped arrows. I don’t mean to make it sound like a Road Runner cartoon. It’s not all boxing gloves. Sometimes he has dynamite tipped arrows. He also no doubt wears some of that nifty super hero fetish wear! He’s also got himself a weekly TV series. Here’s a review on that!

another weakly TV series

Erin Esurance – a lower profile then Joe Biden

Now ain’t that the most exciting news since the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers reunion )The only thing that’ll save Arrow is frequent guest appearances by Black Canary, & she’d better be bloody hot!)? It would’ve been even more exciting if Esurance had announced the return of Agent Erin! I hear that Esurance is keeping her in indefinite detention, holed up in some ‘museum of advertising’ (there were other sad rumours – weight gain, rehab, became a yoga teacher, etc. & even that she was knocked silly by one of Green Arrow’s stray boxing glove arrows, and then had to be put on medical leave). Erin Esurance tangled with numerous super creeps during her days as a special agent, but proved no match for her corporate masters – those big business types can be ruthless bastards when they want to be! On the bright side I hear that she hangs out over @ Second Life as a kind of Internet lost sprite.


Erotica Villainess – The voluptuous horror of Stevie Nicks

Celebrities have something else in common with Superheroes – they like to right perceived wrongs. Sometimes that streak of vigilantism makes them seem more like super villains. Take Stevie Nicks for instance. Stevie rose to fame as a 70’s rock’n’roll heart throb back in the day when she sung with Fleetwood Mac.Stevie has had her ups and downs since. Many of those ups and downs can include mood swings. Let’s face it for a petite blonde Stevie can get scary!

Celebrity death match – Stevie Nicks vs Nickie Minaj!

Most recently Stevie lashed out at Nicki Minaj over Mariah Carey. Says the Nickster. Seems Nickie was watching American Idol – reality TV is a bad idea for people with mood swings, when she came over ballistic or something. She took great exception, umbrage even, with Nicki M, & not just because Nicks last name is similar to Minaj’s 1st name. Here’s what scary Stevie had to say:

“How dare this little girl! … If I had been Mariah I would have walked over to Nicki and strangled her to death right there,” Nicks told The Daily as she was promoting her new documentary, In Your Dreams.
“I would have killed her in front of all those people and had to go to jail for it,” she added.

Nicks picking with a vengeance – I know it’s only mock’n’roll

Stevie wants to choke out a bitch, which is pretty far gone & would be almost inexcusable if Nicks wasn’t famous and promoting her new project In Your Dreams. I assume that’s some kind of rockumentary.  It’s also not the first time that reality TV has brought out the worst in some one. Personally I find it refreshing that some one is getting worked up like this over something besides the American Presidential Debate. Apparently Nicks hasn’t heard about Big Bird yet.

Something wonderful is about to happen – maybe it’s a wardrobe malfunction!

Now you might not be a Big Bird, or even an Erin Esurance, but that doesn’t mean you can’t let your inner celebrity shine like a superhero. So go out there and get wondertrashy!

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