Octomom hits a new low – with a pillow!

carnival geeking still alive in the new millennium

This is a day and age when you can get rich by being famous and you can get famous for nearly anything. You can claim your 15 minutes with stunts as far fetched as claiming you sent your son up aloft in a tin foil home made balloon launched from your back yard while the video camera was conveniently rolling. Or you could do a sex tape and follow it up with a suspicious 72 day marriage. You might even opt for something less extreme, like getting artificially inseminated with 8 embryos – if only Kim Kardashian had thought of that one! Any of these weirdo antics can make you a media sensation. Then your only problem is how to cash in on the notoriety that comes from your zany stunt.

Cashing in ain’t child’s play. In fact it’s a lot harder than dreaming up the kooky publicity stunt. For one thing the public might catch on that their leg is being pulled. They take that badly because for one thing no one likes being made a fool of, and for another the genuine ‘humane interest’ factor found in bizarre stories and milked by supermarket tabloids for years gets lost. It’s the same feeling as finding out all those people who were hit in the groin on America’s Funnest Home Video had set t it up before hand. So when a publicity seeker’s cover gets blow it can be bad news, and make fame hard to cash in on.

That’s what happened to Nadya Suleman. You’ll recall that she was the chick who was pregnant with 8 fetuses. She also had a passing resemblance to Angelina Jolie. So people got fascinated. That is until they found out that she’d had plastic surgery, and further more had been artificially inseminated with the embryonic 8 in a plan to make millions off of public curiosity. Jon & Kate Gosselin were making it big at the time with their small scale population explosion, so there was money to be made. However some friends of hers say that scheme went back to her high school days. So the public turned on her and the most she got for her trouble was the nick name “Octomom“. That and the trouble of raising her brood of 14 – many with various health and developmental problems.

Octomom may not have had celebrity deal backed up around the block but she still had 14 mouths to feed. She seems not to have been qualified for much except plastic surgery and poorly thought out scams (so should should’ve been natural in the fame game!). So that has left her on the Z List of celebs. That’s the anything for a buck set in other words. They’re the one like Principle Belding from Saved By The Bell who now appear at parties for a fee (I heart hat you can actually hire Belding to do you party). Some others, like Screech, wind up in adult films. Many can be seen signing autographs at public appearances in malls. That’s how the late Gary Coleman made his coin in his final days. Basically they’re the bottom feeder celebrities who are too low even for rehab. Octomom has even found a way to bring that to a new low.

Nadya – we’ll use her real name and not her celebrity slave name – has had her troubles recently. She’s missed a few payments on her Orange County home. So that has driven her to weird extremes. Necessity is the mother of invention, and you know what Nads comes up with when she’s desperate. In this case she’s decided to become a professional pillow fighter. Radaronline is reporting that Nadya has joined a Pillow Fight Tour. Nads will get paid 1500 a match and has already booked 2 fights. The first is gonna be on Feb 16. So you still have time to catch that. It’ll be something to fill the void left by the Superbowl. It’s for a worthy cause. Nadya will be swinging the stuffing to raise awareness for abused women. So you know you can feel good about gawking the geeking!

Wanting to be famous is something most people can relate to, even though it’s not normal. Most people fear losing their minds form time to time too. When there’s a ton of money to be made then you can’t blame some people – impressionable types perhaps – for trying to get in on the game for fun and profit. However here’s a friendly word of Wondertrash advice – don’t do anything sleazy like porno tapes or getting knocked up with multiple doses from the fertility specialist. That’s just sleazy, like wearing your underwear on the outside to get attention. Try doing something genuinely interesting, like trying out for the role you always wanted to play and then documenting your heroic quest. That’s what actress, singer, and self described groove goddess Tracie Dinwiddie decided to do when she decided that she wanted to be Wonder Woman!

Wonderful, Tracie – and good luck!


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Nadya Suleman is even more of a bitch than yesterday

Octomom – it’s bad but not tin foil hat bad, yet!

Remember when Nadya Suleman said that her life was such a shit pile that she had to spend all day int he washroom, just in case she was tempted to flush? Of course you do cause that was only yesterday, and reported right here on this very blog. Now Nadya has way too many kids, 14 at last count, but the number is always in danger of increasing depending on what kooky schemes she gets into her head. Also many of these kids have “problems”, or are a pack of little tards as Nads might put it. While Nads didn’t put it quite that way she came close enough with her comments about them being animals that she wished she’d never had, who couldn’t stop biting and scratching, who were uncontrollable, useless eaters contributing to world overpopulation and impeding the Illuminati Global Agenda. Well I made up the last part about the Illuminati Global Agenda. Octo didn’t say that. She hasn’t gone Charlie Sheen yet, though she has gone pretty far. It was probably a rough day – to give her benefit of the doubt. One of her kids was chewing the drywall during the interview (whether due to a behavior problem or just because he hadn’t been fed for awhile was not stated).

Mad Nads is more clamorous than glamorous

The point of all that moaning and weeping was that Mads wants the world to now that dropping more kids than a hamster ain’t as glamorous as you might think. In fact it’s a wold of trouble that she regrets ever getting herself into. What’s worse with umpteen kids to feed and no time to herself except to hang out for hours alone in the washroom eating off the floor (I assume she’s eating off the floor since things seem to have gone to hell in a hand basket for her) she’s had some trouble earning money. Her porno projects didn’t work out, her house is in foreclosure, and her bank account is overdrawn by $300. She’s overdrawn at the Bank of Karma and in sore need of a stimulus package!

Bikini Bitch

Well that’s the way she tells it. Other people have different versions of the story. Like the good people @ TMZ. According to them Nads ain’t as hard pressed as all her self absorbed crying would have the unwary believe. In fact last month was a pretty good one for Ole Octopussy. In fact her dance card was fully booked. She did that Celebridate thing posted about yesterday. Plus she had a whole slew of other engagements like MMA fights, a celebrity boxing match, and an alarming bikini photo shoot.

Hey kids – I brought home dinner from work, Mommie’s meat bikini!

To be clear, no bikini’s were actually shot during the session. I clarify that just in case PETA people are reading and get a bright idea for a “save the endangered bikini” consciousness cum fund raiser. The bikinis in question were merely worn by Octomom. Now that might be cruelty enough for any bikini but since they were already dead at the time they were past caring. So unless the bikini’s were made of meat, it’s outside PETA’s meddling jurisdiction! Whether Octomom requested a meat bikini, perhaps as something to take home to the starving horde, is unknown at this time.

“Anything is possible!” – the miracle of Octomom

As a result Octo earned about $28 000 in the month of June. That’s a rather whopping sum for a woman’s who’s gripping about being $300 overdrawn in an interview she probably charged for. That might make cynics say that Octo is more full of shit than her clothes hamper on laundry day. However it’s easy to be suspicious. Why not give her credit for turning around a terrible financial situation totally in the course of 30 days? Why it might be some sort of a miracle! It’s the sort of inspirational achievement that shows us what’s possible with determination even in the worst situations. She could go on a motivational speaking tour and tell the rest of us how it’s done. Maybe she could even become Sarah Palin’s VP candidate! America needs that sort of can do get it done-ism, and now more than ever since the public schools stopped teaching proper grammar! Then again maybe she’s just a selfish, deceitful little monster, and her stories just don’t add up. That wouldn’t be the first time.

BTW Happy Wondertrash Canada Day!

Octomom is no Britol Palin!

planned parenthood

Having 14 kids by invitro as an angle to get reality TV series might seem like a kooky idea. Unless you’re Nadya Suleman and then it seems pretty smart. Nadya got the bright idea several years back that if she could only get plugged full of anonymous sperm it might not only get her into the Guinness Records, but onto TV in the form of some lucrative peep show type deal. With that end in mind she approached a California fertility specialist and got him to hit her with his best shot. That lead to about 8 kids, in addition to the 6 she already had. Oh yeah and she also had some plastic surgery to make her look more like Angelina Jolie. That move didn’t do anything for Hot Lips Voight’s career! It didn’t do much for the doctor either, who got his license revoked after the Octomom story hit the headlines.

It didn’t seem to do much for Suleman either. Though she was on every tabloid cover and cable news channel on earth for awhile, it didn’t pan out into the TV career that she’d hoped for. For one thing word leaked that this was some scheme to get rich quick. Friends from as far back as high school reported that Nads had said she wanted to have plenty of kids one day, so that she could make a million by writing a book about it. People didn’t approve of using human fertility like that. So she couldn’t drum up support.

That left Nadya with 14 kids to raise, many of whom had some developmental and behavioral problems. It also left her with no steady income source. her mother and father pitched in as best the could. Some other support got drummed up. So she moved into a fairly swanky little condo. However not having the same success at single motherhood as Bristol Palin, Nads had some trouble keeping up the payments. That’s about the time she stared entertaining offers for porno films!

Thankfully the porno flick never got made. Bob Guccione’s Nailin Palin side tracked any possible interest in Suleman’s Octopussy project. Look for a sequel to Nailin Palin in the run up to the next pres election! I hear Bob’s already auditioning Donald Trump impersonators for a very special scene; but had to throw the real Donald out of auditions several times when the reality TV blow hard kept showing up under assumed names! I think that the hair was a giveaway. As for Suleman, she kept busy with a Gwenyth Paltrow type ferocity. She got herself in shape. She went to the gym for 4 hours or more a day. She told everyone that anyone could do it, if they had her determination! Meanwhile everyone was wondering who was minding the kids while Octo was off doing her 400 plus crunches.

Ferocity and determination only go so far. Even if you’re Octomom. In Touch is reporting that the notorious mass breeder is cracking under the strain. I guess they got tired of running stories about that other notorious breeder Angelina Jolie. According to an In Touch story Octomom has started speaking her mind and is letting fly with some pretty pointed comments. For instance she was quoted as saying “I hate [my] babies, they disgust me… wish I never had them.

Now that’s pretty pointed, but it gets worse. Nads goes on to say that:

‘I hate the babies, they disgust me,’ she told InTouch magazine. ‘My older six are animals, getting more and more out of control, because I have no time to properly discipline them.’

‘The only way I can cope is to lock myself in the bathroom and cry. Sometimes I sit there for hours and even eat my lunch sitting on the toilet floor. Anything to get peace and quiet,’ she said.

‘Obviously I love them – but I absolutely wish I had not had them,’

The story also features a picture of one of her kids gnawing on drywall!

Nads also goes on to complain about her quality of life. Her bank account is overdrawn by 300. That’s bad because her La Hambra house is in foreclosure. When you’re on public assistance that adds up to a desperate situation. Which is partly why Nads spends long hours holed up in the washroom curled up on the floor. Is so much quieter in there, Nads reveals. She’ll do anything to get some peace and quiet away from the kids too, whom she refers to on the interview as “animals”. Nads goes on to reveal that she sometimes even eats her lunch in there, while squatting on the floor or sitting on the can. In fact the whole situation has pushed Nads to the brink of suicide. ‘Some days I have thought about killing myself. I cannot cope,’ she said. Her only recent time away from the kids and the washroom was an appearance on reality TV match maker show Celebridate! Look for that to appear on the HDNet cable network.

Hang in there Nads! Things can turn around – Lindsay Lohan has recently gotten out of her house arrest.

For more of Nadya’s colourful comments, like ‘Ever since I was little, I was aware that men wanted me and the hardest thing was keeping them away,’ and her confession that she’s been celibate for the past 12 years, go to the Daily Mail

If any of you out there are getting any big ideas about misusing your reproductive powers, then stop and remember that you don’t need to give birth to a small army of kids to be a Wonder Woman! IN fact you’re more likely to wind up another Vickie Pollard!


Octomom does the View



Octomom sued by former lawyer!

Ever since the story behind Nadya Suleman’s bizarre pregnancy came to light, people have been wondering when some one was gonna step forward and do something. Well some one has and that some one is Octomom’s former lawyer Gloria Allred. Allred is some one who’s admires even consider a fame whore. The rest have difficult even thinking about her without experiencing a wave of nausea. For instance during one of Allred’s most notable cases she coined the phrase ‘gender apartheid’, to describe a client’s treatment by the Boy Scouts of America.

So naturally when some one like Octomom goes shopping for personal reputation some one like Gloria Allred is high on the list. You’d think that they were a match. Except they weren’t. Gloria, like Octomom’s former publicist, found Suleman too crazy to work with, and so bailed. No that it would be the last time should was to have dealings with America’s zaniest aspiring reality TV star. Now Allred is suing Octomom on behalf of the octuplets, and under California’s child labour laws. Apparently Allred thinks that Octo might be violating those laws by involving her brood in her reality TV plans. Allred isn’t alone in this either. She’s being joined by child actor advocate Paul Peterson – who played Jeff Stone on the Donna Reed Show and whio had form ed child entertainment advocacy group A Minor Consideration. Peterson says that he has major concerns about the situation, which he has been keeping an eye on ‘since the word go’.

Octomom under investigation

oSocial workers from the Orange County Child Protective Services Dept, and two police detectives from the La Habra Police Dept payed Octomom Nadya Suleman a visit today. So what was the beef, besides the obvious? Well one of Octomom’s numerous brood showed up in school with a black eye. That seems to have prompted a teacher to place a complaint. Octomom has an explanation – she says that the child is autistic and bumps into stuff alot.

Now many would find that hard to believe. They might find it easy to believe that Octomom got short tempered. The general consensus is that she’s bitten off more than she can chew. Even if you buy her explanation, it would clearly show that she’s incapable of handling the situation. Now this could be bad news for her since if CPS takes the tots, that ruins her prospects for a reality TV show. That is unless she now qualifies for some kind of assistance grant. Like the say – the wheel is crooked and it’s the only game in town.

Nadya Suleman’s Stripper Past Exposed!

Why are all those people obsessed with me saying I’m obsessed with her?

Nadya Suleman’s belly isn’t the only thing with stretchmarks, cause Octomom has been stretching the truth. remember how she said she’d only been a stripper for one night, and then just for the experience? Well In Touch has done some digging and come up with her former partners in crime! According to In Touch Nadya was stripping for a year. More than that she worked under the name “Angelina” – a coincidence? Though she says she hadn’t so much as kissed a guy at the time, a former associate, Luis Ceballos – a limo driver, describe her as worldly; and claim that she regularly flirted with clients.

Octomom wants a stimulus package!

America’s number 1 professional breeder Nadya Octomom Suleman is continuing to make ends meet. She recently moved into a pricey new home. She’s also working on her new reality TV deal. That’s the one where she goes out looking for love. The National Enquirer even claims that she’s reconsidering the porno offer! It pays to cover the angles.

Perhaps that’s why she’s also looking into some federal funding. Nadya is currently seeking some federal assistance under the Women, Infants, and Children program, known as WIC. WIC provides fed grants for food and medical care. To be ineligible, and family of 15 would have to make over $112 480. Since Nadya claims feeding her brood would coast $2000 a month for baby formula alone (I guess that rules out breast feeding), she’s feels that she’s entitled to the money. This is the age of the stimulus package! Perhaps she could borrow against her toxic assets?
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