Should Oprah mind her OWN business?

After many years of bring the world into America’s living rooms, Oprah Winfrey has moved out into the world from her studio. “We’re not on those chairs anymore” she says in the commercials hyping her OWN Network. Plus she’s got an all star cast to back her up with a roster of semi reality TV confessional human interest type programming. She’s backed up by a supporting cast including Dr Phil, Dr Oz, Gayle King and even Shania Twain. Yet there are rumours that OWN ain’t doing so good.

Maybe that’s why Oprah took to the tweet lately – during the Grammy Awards in fact – in what was apparently and attempt to hype up her network! Oprah has about 9 million followers. At her peak anything she “liked” got an immediate boost, from bedsheets to bogus rehab biographies. So it seemed like a safe bet that the faithful might answer the call. So she sent forth the word – “Every 1 who can please turn to OWN especially if you have a Nielsen box“.

No one likes awards shows. They’re kind of like the high school prom on steroids. Besides people like Oprah. So it should’ve worked out nifty. Yet Oprah got some blow back out of her guerrilla marketing tactics. For instance the me has been called “desperate” and “unethical”.

Oprah take some exception to that. For one thing she insists that “‘desperate’ not ever a part of my vocab“. Twitter seems to have taken many words out of our vocabularies. For another she also considers ‘unethical’ to be a ‘bit harsh’. Oprah’s tweet got taken down a little while later. However another Own related tweet – “Commercial Grammy people.. u can turn to OWN”.

Whether it’s unethical or not it’s technically over the line. Nielsen forbids networks (& Oprah owns OWNS) to hype up their shows specifically to Nielsen box holders. Direct appeals to box holders to change their viewing habits can throw off the results. That would defeat the purpose of market research. For instance 80% of box holders might be watching a show because they were specifically singled out. Meanwhile the rest of the nation might be watching the new reality TV series. That would make the ratings meaningless. Advertising rates are based on ratings. So Nielsen frowns on the practice. “In accordance with our policies, Nielsen is reviewing this with our clients and may withhold, breakout and/or make a note in the ratings,” a Nielsen rep told EW. The rep went on to say that “We take any violation of our policy seriously”.

So how did it end up? Oprah took down the tweet. Then she made an apology. She released a statement saying “I removed the tweet at the request of Nielsen. I intended no harm and apologize for the reference.” As for the Grammy’s they bagged 39.9 million viewers. So no harm no foul. IN fact thew hole incident was as harmless as Justin Timberlake‘s attempts to revitalize Myspace (He’s taking his Social Network role way too seriously). The Grammy’s are usually a pretty good draw. Now if it had been something like the Sream Awards then there might have been more cause for concern. Harold & Kumar need as much support as they can get!

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Coming Soon from the National Enquirer


Has Angelina Jolie finally gone too far?

Next week’s National Enquirer promises to be a wild ride if the promo is any indication. For one thing Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are on the verge of divorce again. It seems like they’ve been on the verge of marriage and divorce for years now – basically ever since Angie ripped poor Jennifer Aniston‘s heart out and ruined her life. That left Poor Jen with nothing but her A List movie career to fall back on. However this time NE up’s the ante by claiming that Angie has confessed to cheating, and to hotel room hook ups. Thgis lead to a marriage counseling break down. Oh yeah and Angie also supposedly physically threatened Jen according to the cover.

Kardashians continue to make marriage a reality TV tabloid travesty?

Now it that wasn’t enough to whet your appetite there’s more trouble for the Kardashians. Apparently Mother Kris Kardashian Jenner’s marriage is destroyed by some kind of cheating scandal. Apparently some kind of afffair has been exposed! Those Kardashian women are either gonna have to stay out of divorce court or stop getting married of they want to stop provoking the public, ’cause their sleazy shenanigans are just getting obnoxious!

Is Gayle King an extraterrestrial transsexual? If she were do you think she’d admit it?

In other news the real Gayle King is exposed. Now for those hoping it might be as a terrorist, transsexual, or an extra terrestrial I’ve got bad news. The tabs are creeping towards the very out fringes of credibility, so the days of Elvis taking UFO rides and inseminating Hilary Clinton via ray beam are lamentably long gone (except in the WeeklyWorldNews which still exists online, and where Elvis and Hilary’s love trysts with Bigfoot continue!). Apparently Gayle has used Oprah Winfrey to make millions! Now there’s now word on whether this was in some legitimate way, they way ma people given their start by Oprah have made millions – like such as Dr. Phil McGraw, or whether they’re leaving something else to be inferred. The phrase “used” is kind of loaded.

Then there’s the Newt Gingrich’s wife lesbian shocker. There’s an election coming up and since the Enquirer did so well with John Edwards – much better than John Edwards did with the Enquirer – they have to keep up the cred with some semi legit news related articles. They don’t give Pulitzer Prize nominations for horoscopes and sudokus! Now there are no clues in the cover about how they get shocked by lesbians. Perhaps were chased by those pink pistol gangs that Bill O Reilly on FOX was so concerned about several years back. BOR was afraid that the gays = perhaps finally having had enough – had taken up arms. If these same pink pistol lesbians have chased down the Gingrich’s – perhaps in outrage over some extreme right wing views, and then tasered them in to literal electric shock, then O Reilly is gonna need a pace maker! Either way the corner photo shows both Gingrichs looking shocked, or at least perturbed.

With FOX as the voice of the right, why did America turn Democrat?

That rampaging lesbian story is just the kind of stuff that needs more coverage in the media. Might have something to do with the bisphenol A laden water those metrosexuals are always drinkin’!

As for what’s behind that titillating cover, there’s a couple of doozies in the works:

Whitney Houston, desperate and broke, collapsed in a shocking public breakdown and The ENQUIRER has chilling photos that show how her last-ditch bid to stay sober is falling apart. Friends fear the long-troubled songbird is back on drugs and has hit rock bottom after losing her $100 million fortune.

and:

The lives of Demi Moore‘s daughters have been ripped apart by her drug and booze hell. Busted for underage drinking last year, Tallulah, 18, is currently in therapy and telling pals that Demi’s out-of-control behavior has turned her life into “a nightmare.” Meanwhile, Rumer, 23, who has been most supportive of Demi, is now worried that she, too, is being dragged down by her mother. Scout, 20, who’s away at college, fears that her sisters are in danger, say sources. In a revealing ENQUIRER report, insiders reveal how the girls’ dad, Bruce Willis is battling to keep the family from falling apart.

People have been very concerned about Demi Moore and her family lately. Especially since Demi and the girls seem like basically nice, likeable people with some celebrity sized problems. With Demi in rehab, Tallulah in therapy, Rumer in the tabs, that leaves Scout as the level headed one! At the rate their going they’re headed straight for reality TV. So you tell me if the NE isn’t worth it’s $5? If they can add a fab summer diet and blue dot winning lotto numbers then they can count on my business at the checkout!

By the way – Wondertrash isn’t up for any Pulitzer prizes so any kind of trash is up for posting! So here’s the Wondertrash version of Lotto Numbers That Can Help You Lose Weight! It’s called How To Get Laid In 5 Easy Steps!

Now I can’t guarantee that any of that advice will get you laid, but if it helps you win the lottery then let me know!

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A trash flash from the past

the flashy and the trashy

Anne Heche at the 1997 Emmy Awards (cropped)Image via Wikipedia

In life there’s trashy and there’s toxic. Trashy can be campy good fun, like Paris Hilton; while toxic can be an accident waiting to happen, like Anne Heche. Heche started her career as a soap opera actress back on Another World. She played twins. Since she played both roles the question of which one was evil was moot. Anne was meant for higher things that daytime TV and she soon moved up in the world, though her life was to continue to be an over the top soap opera.
Looking good and going places
Anne’s a good looking chick and that can take you places in Hollywood. Especially if you don’t mind screwing around to get on in the world. In that respect Heche was as game as Sienna Miller (and Sienna’s had more riders than a carousel pony – whether or not it’s true that what goes up comes down, who ever said what goes around comes around must’ve been thinking of Sienna – she’s been around more than most painted carousel ponies). So she soon made a lot of influential new friends. Friends like Steve Martin. He met Heche when his marriage was either on the rocks, or through. Either way Heche didn’t do that relationship any good.
Hot air and both sides of clouds
Martin did her some good. He was a very successful comedy film actor at the time. So he was helpful in getting Heche some of those coveted movie roles. When she wasn’t trying out for film work she and Martin took hot air balloon rides together – which they described as ‘funner than fun’. When she wasn’t movin’ on up via hot air balloon, she & Martin shopped for dream homes that they could share. In this case house shopping with Heche had about the same relationship mojo as getting matching his and hers tattoos. As with many of Heche’s relationships, the joy ride was over before the car got out of the drive way.
up up and away
Anne wouldn’t be lonesome for long. She managed to get Ellen DeGeneres’ attention. No one is quite sure how this happened, though some think Ellen might have suffered some kind of head injury just prior to the ill fated fling. The unofficial version is that Ellen had noticed Anne about town and put the word out that she found Heche highly desirable. Heche wasn’t lesbian, but was willing to learn. Especially if there were major career perks involved. Since Ellen was kind of a bog deal in TV sit coms at the time, career perks were kind of a given. When the two met at a Hollywood wing ding, Anne turned on the charm. Before you knew it Heche had the bit between her teeth and was away to the races faster than you could say “Tallyho!”
teaser and the firecat
While Anne and Ellen set up together as high profile celebrity lesbians Stevo was left to nurse his wounds. He kind of felt ill done by in the whole Heche affair. He got some of it out of his system by writing Bowfinger. The Heather Graham character was supposedly based on Heche (I say supposedly because Martin himself may have mentioned that in a few interviews). If Stevo was marked down as bitter it was only because everyone was busy celebrating Heche and DeGeneres’ daring new love! Heche hadn’t completely forgotten about Martin though. In an ‘insult to injury’ move, she did talk Ellen into buying the dream home Martin had picked out for her.

Happily ever after – please make it stop!
Everything was now set for a happily ever after type scenario. There was only one problem; one of the players in the piece was Anne Heche. As soon as the love birds had settled into nest things took a nasty turn. Ellen lost her sit com. That led to a year long bout of unemployment and depression. In show business extended periods of unemployment can be trouble; since if you haven’t really made it, it could mean that you might get left behind and never work again.
unsinkable Annie
That left Ellen moping around the love nest while Anne grew ever more impatient. Anne had hoped hot gay sex would open every door in Hollywood to her. She hadn’t really signed on to give moral support to a unemployed middle aged lesbian. Never one to go down with the ship Anne began looking for the rat’s way out.
“I’m like a gay man trapped in a hot chick’s bod!”
She had to be careful. Some people had questioned her commitment to alternative lifestyles. Basically they were saying that Anne, never lesbian before, had hooked into DeGeneres as some kind of meal ticket/free pass into Hollywood. If she dropped Ellen like a hot potato then she’d come off as an opportunist. That’s something no serious opportunist would dare do. So she started floating stories that Ellen’s general lack of motivation was unattractive. That left Anne free to rediscover her heterosexuality.
strangers on candy
While getting reacquainted with the joys of cock, Anne also developed an interest in automatic writing and a fondness for meth amphetamine. That lead to the most colourful period of her life. She apparently spent days getting high and writing out messages from her higher power. That gave her some thing to do since her dance card was empty. Dropping DeGeneres when the chips were down made it clear what she was about. Since she’d left so many pissed on off people in her wake no one was volunteering to open more doors for her.
filling free time with drugs & gibberish
So, as some celebs do with extra free time to fill, she continued working on herself. Basically she was taking more drugs and writing more gibberish. She discovered, by way of the powerful meth auto writing combo that she was a space alien named Celestia and on a secret mission to bring love to Planet Earth. When the cops finally caught up with her she was wandering around a field naked as a jay bird and waiting for the mother ship to beam her up. Public nudity in the cause of a better world seldom works out (unless the audience is on acid – otherwise they don’t get it). Giving her the benefit of the doubt maybe she was trying to find her way back to Another World. At least things stopped before Heche went to far and discovered the kaballah. It was a great day to be Ellen DeGeneres though.
North. To Alaska
Since then it’s been touch and go for Heche. She married a camera man named Cody Lafoon, and had a son named Homer. Homer would soon be the object of a bitter custody battle as Heche and Lafoon went their separate ways. Heche also had a brief TV series called Men In Trees. It was set in Alaska, now known as Sarahland; and it didn’t work out. Things did work out better for Ellen. With Heche out of the way DeGeneres got her mojo back. She also got back on TV. Right now she’s about the biggest deal on daytime TV. With Oprah Winfrey looking about for new worlds to conquer that makes Heche girl most likely to fill the void.
time to adjust your set
Things sure did improve with Anne out of the picture. Hopefully Ellen can chalk the whole sad business up to experience, learn from it, and move on. I’m not saying that Heche is toxic. That’s for readers to infer; and let’s face it, it would be a hard inference to avoid. It just seems like a strange coincidence that things go sour when ever she’s involved. Maybe if she can work on the allegedly toxicity, then she could one day find her way back to an entertainment medium. She might just be trashy enough for reality TV!


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Another Star takes a spill on Oprah!

Oprah & the falling star

http://www.youtube.com/get_player
I’m not a super hero and can’t play one on TV either!

hugh jackman follows tom cruise's example by taking a spill after doing his own stunts on the oprah winfrey show, from australiaYou can’t afford to miss an episode of Oprah, since you never know what can happen. For instance who could’ve dreamed that Tom Cruise would send his career into an unpredictable spin by taking a leap off of Oprah’s couch? Tom’s image was never quite the same and Oprah showed just how major her effect can be. Now if you thought that was a one time incident that could never be repeated, then think twice because Oprah has knocked off another one. Once again it involved a major movie hunk doing his own stunts.

Oprah is doing her last year on TV, or at least the last year of her day time talk show (before she heads out in search of new worlds to conquer). Being a larger than life personality, she’s determined to go out with a bang. To that end she treated her audience to a trip downunder. She even booked John Travolta to be their special celebrity pilot (so Oprah’s got no problem with Scientology & Travolta has no problem with her). Once in Australia Oprah’s special guest would be treated to five star accommodations and the best Downunder has to offer in celebrities.

NO Aussie celeb is bigger than Hugh Wolverine Jackman. So he was obliged to put in an Oprah Command Performance (She still makes stars ask “How high ?” when she says “Jump!“). Hugh had a grand entrance planned too. He was gonna drop into the stage on a cable, like Tarzan swinging in on a vine. This should’ve been good fun and made a big impression on Oprah’s audience.

However something went wrong with the stunt. When Jackman launched himself down the cable, he went a little too far and overshot the runway. That sent him crashing head first into the back ground. To make matters worse Jackman’s valuable face was damaged as the star injured his eye on landing. Hugh was game though, and after a little quick first aid he carried on with the interview. There’s no people like show people; and Oprah is not to be disappointed. Though she might want to be careful in future. More stunts gone wrong and she could find herself the subject of a law suit.

hugh jackman plays a super hero int he movies but was less than super on Oprah recently

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"Oprah’s Not Gay" – says suspected lover

Suffering Sappho


Oprah Winfrey
is one of America’s most prominent asexual celebrities. She’s right up there with Amy Sedaris. Since coming into the public eye Oprah has had a long term on again off again relationship with motivational speaker Stedman Graham. Graham is tall, rugged, successful, and kind of good looking – so naturally people began wondering why the relationship didn’t go anywhere. Now in entertainment that kind of speculation usually leads to one area – gay rumours.

going nowhere and waiting to come

When Gayle King came out of the wood work it only added fuel to the speculation fires. Oprah seemed to be spending a lot more time with her new BFF that with her significant other – Stedman. Oprah & Gayle went on road trips and various other mid life adventures together. They even crashed some weddings. When 2 unattached adults of the same gender start spending all their free time together, naturally tongues start to wags as eye brows start to raise.

the rumours of my sex life have been greatly exagerated

Unlike Tom Cruise – who went ballistic on Oprah’s couch over his professed love for Katie Holmes – Oprah has never ever seen fit to directly address the rumours about her personal life. That does Oprah much credit for good sense. Nobody believes denials in this cynical age. Yet if you don’t address it then it’s not an issue (if you can’t quit while you’re ahead then at least shut up before you say too much; like TV’s David Letterman just managed to do). Besides look what the spin control did to Cruise. That doesn’t mean that Ms. King might not open up and talk about things from time to time.

“So what’s the sore?” – “Let me hum a few bars to see if you know it.”

Gayle was recently asked by TMZ what the score was with her and Oprah. Are they just 2 single ladies sharing a mid life crisis, or is there more going on than we realize. King took the opportunity to set the record straight by assuring TMZ that Winfrey is not one bit gay. Let’s have a look at that brief video clip:

They fish together … they camp together … they shack up together …. but Oprahs’ BFF Gayle King still insists the famous lesbian rumors are purely “ridiculous.”

http://www.viddler.com/player/d6d7cd99/

the Ozone

Well there you have it – sort of. Ms Gayle is obviously so straight that she wouldn’t know a gay person if she were being bitten on the ass interviewed by one. That goes double for her boss. The comments were very non committal too, so I’m sure that the Big O will be pleased. No one talks for Lady O, not unless they have first received specific instructions about what they can and can not say. God help them if they screw that up too.

So that explains everything. I’m glad too. This lesbian tittle tattle was really getting way out of hand. Maybe now Oprah and Gayle can get back to living their lives and enjoying such non lesbian activities s fly fishing together. PS I hear that Oprah bought the lake before she and Gayle arrived, perhaps to make sure that meddlesome busybodies didn’t get the wrong idea about two single 50 something gals fly fishing together. You know how people can talk!

http://www.viddler.com/player/50e7b77b/

Now here’s a little post Halloween treat. As gossip followers know celebrities love dressing up and going out. Halloween provides a golden opportunity for this. So every year there are a plethora of pics from various celebrity costume parties. This year I’ve posted the pick of the litter – aspiring actress Julia Voth (Bitchslap) as Wonder Woman – now that’s a treat!


Julia Voth is available for casual stalking by way of facebook.

wondertrash

Oprah Fights With Gayle King; Goes Back To Stedman

In what might be a Lindsay Lohan Samantha Ronson scene without the drugs, cops, rehab, ambulances, and SWAT teams; Oprah Winfrey and long time ‘companion’ Gayle King have had a falling out. By falling out I mean that Gayle actually uttered the words “I hate you” out loud and to Oprah’s face.

the fall out from the falling out

No words on that caused the falling out. However the usual unnamed sources claim that their relationship is now hanging by the shred of a thread. Further more there’s some really nasty side stories developing. Gayle King is getting super sucky with the Obama family lately. Not for the usually reasons: influence, status, etc. She knows that Oprah covets the Obama connection and this is Gayle’s way of sticking it to her long time friend.

steady with Steadman – Steadman as she goes

Meanwhile Oprah has a trick up her own sleeve. She’s apparently back with Steadman Graham. The 6’4″ motivational speaker has been spotted coming out of the woodwork and back into Oprah’s life. For those unfamiliar with the Steadman back story he’s a big good looking ex football type and self made multi millionaire; he’s also a constant reminder to the world that no man is good looking or successful enough to deserve Oprah. That kinda worked the way Gabriel Aubry was supposed to rmeind the world that no man is good looking or successful enough for Halle Berry (and did she give him a hard time about that too!). The one difference being that Halle managed to get down off her high horse long enough to get knocked up, once.

Oprah’s self made family & friends with benefits

Now it should be stated that Oprah has never ever officially ‘come out of the closet’. Oprah has maintained that as far as the world needs to know Steadman is some guy she likes taking out dancing and on vacation, while Gayle is some chick who spends a lot of time in Oprah’s home, when they’re not sharing hotel rooms for professional purposes (King has some kind of unofficial position with HARPO).

Official counter spin aside the 2 grown women who formerly couldn’t get enough of each other are currently carrying on like a pair of high schoolers having a ‘spat’. The obvious conclusion – it’s okay if Gayle hates Oprah. She’ll be back in the picture soon ’cause she knows shit. Besides, if Oprah really want to cheese King off she wouldn’t be back with Steadman, she’d be palling up to good friend Ellen DeGeneres. There seems to be a certain low key middle aged chemistry between those two, in an officially not gay way that is.

Wondertrash thought of the day:

photo courtesy of Roger Ebert via twitpic


gettin’ centered

Love the toilet paper in the bottom right of the picture – what more of an impression of existence do you need? Possibly a few stains would’ve been not only an indication of existence but a sign of life, too. Gossip is also a way of making those impressions. It’s part of the reason celebrities like being talked about: existential angst. Well it’s either that or sheer immature self centeredness. Now go out there and exchange that self centeredness for contentedness!

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Oprah Bio Author Kitty Kelley Talks About Cold Shoulder

trophy target

[redlasso id=’4d58c7fd-f69d-47d7-8c94-d036a2a24a05′]

Stalking Oprah

When you go after Oprah Winfrey you’d better go loaded for bear. That’s what Kitty Kelley usually does whenever she writes an unauthorized biography about any of her high profiles targets. now the Queen of dirt wants to add Oprah Winfrey to her trophy collection.

taking the heat over cold shoulder

Kelley has just released her new Oprah book and it appears to follow form with her Sinatra, the Royals, the Bushes, etc. bios. There’s already a lot of talk about drugs, incest, prostitution, homosexuality, Gayle King, and the Kitty Kelley media freeze out! Who knew that Oprah lived such an interesting life?

the Oprah Effect 2.0

Ms. Kelley seems particularly concerned with the freeze out. Usually whenever Kitty writes a tell all, the interviewers line up. Not now. Apparently Oprah is using her massive influence, the kind she used to make Dr Phil, Dr Oz, and Rachel Ray household names, to keep Kitty off of the talk show circuit. Of course that hasn’t stopped people from talking about it. Quite the contrary! Here’s a little news clip featuring Ms Kelley discussing her unauthorized book and it’s unofficial reaction.

[redlasso id=’8c84f7bc-4977-4700-a9a4-0d7a44e8a13d’]

fame in the sleaze age

Oprah should’ve realized the day that Tom Cruise hopped off her couch and into celebrity crazytown that no one can control their own image in the information age. What’s more fame can turn on you to the point where everyone can cash in on your secrets, except you. Sandra Bullock could’ve explained that sad fact to her. So will you be lining up for your copy of the book that promises to tell you about the real Oprah? I’m sure that Tom Cruise already has his advance copy – complete with special deleted chapters. Fame still has it’s privileges – though it’s a much bigger pain in the ass than it used to be.

“Despite your effort…
despite your might…
you cannot escape…
from Oprah’s sight…”


Just because Oprah is freezing Kelley out of the talk show circuit doesn’t mean that Oprah is unaware of the book’s existence. Oprah directly addressed the book recently at the Matrix Awards. While Oprah skipped the usual red carpet, she did launch into the book, describing it as a ‘so called’ biography.

Then she went right into a spiel about her mysterious BFF Gayle King. Oprah said that King had her hands full with all of Oprah’s new biodads coming out of the work work. They probably want a piece of the action, or at least one of those new cars Oprah is so fond of giving away. Oprah then went on to describe Gayle as a wonderful friend who cares more about Lady O than she does her self, and who has never ever been jealous of Oprah no not one day in her life (except for an incident involving Oprah and Tina Turner!). Complete dog like devotion is all that any celeb asks from their companions and that’s a tall order when you’re so full of yourself positivity. That level of positivity usually brings out the worst in people.

Oprah’s final word on the book – “This to shall pass.”

Oprah might be on to something with the “this to shall pass” idea – even though it’s not original. As previously posted right here on Wondertrash Mad Mel Gibson has split from his Russian sugartits Oksana Grigorieva shortly after the birth of their child Lucia. It’s even worse than that, Oksana is having her Mel tattoo removed. The tattoo in question is a small hammer & sickle on her ankle that Mel advised her to get. Who knew Mel’s mind worked that way? No word on whether or not she’s having the 10 pounds of facial filler removed.

One thing that isn’t passing is the trouble Suvivor producer Bruce Beresford-Redman is in. He got in trouble after the murdered body of his wife Monica was found stuffed into a sewer outside their Mexican hotel. Naturally police assumed he did it. Even more so now that new rumors of mutual infidelity have come out. Head over to Celebrity Bitchslap for a little more on that.

Bruce Beresford-Redman: Did Mutual Infidelity lead to murder?

Bogus zen: Celebrities have a head for heights, unfortunately many of them haven’t learned the fine art of taking a fall. Tom Cruise didn’t even managed to make the 2 foot hop from Oprah’s couch unscathed (he only damaged his ego, but when you’re a Follywood celebrities that’s one of your most important assets!). So here now is a Wondertrash thought of the day: Remember that it’s better to be on the ground wising that you were flying, than flying and wishing you were on the ground.

wondertrash
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