"Catwoman, an alien and a pirate"

What would Wondertrash be without a daily dose of celebrity superhero madness? Fortunately or not today is not the day when you have to answer that question, cause there’s superhero madness on tap! It seems that very recently – a that means last night – there was an incident outside the Hollywood Kodak theater that had everything going for it except possibly a sequel. The incident involved celebrity lookalikes, and even a costumed crusader!

It seems that on the night in question a group of street performers were out and doing there thing – which involved dressing up like the famous and iconic. There was an Ozzy Osbourne impersonator, and Jack Sparrow wannabe, and even a Catwoman. Somewhere along the line things took a weird turn. According to reports some drinking started and that’s when Catwoman’s claws came out.

Catwoman got riled up and pepper sprayed Capt Jack, along with Ozzy, and another performer dressed as an alien. Then – true to her criminal nature – the felonious feline of comic book infamy fled the scene. While police were busy trying to find everyone involved – and since no arrests have yet been made we can assume that they’re searching with out the aid of Batman – NBC4 cracked the case by getting an exclusive interview with Catwoman. Catwoman explained that she let her fellow performers have it cause they’d been drinking all day and were getting obnoxious. Erotica Villainess’s story was confirmed by a Willy Wonka impersonator.

Now here’s some footage of the weirdness!

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Anne Hathaway is skin tight tonight!

Speaking of Catwoman here’s Anne Hathaway debuting her new skin tight cat suit! BTW she hasn’t pepper sprayed anyone that we know of – but she did give a Dark Knight stunt man a black eye in a fight scene. Then she gave him a silver commemorative pen.

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While Dreamboat Annie is a knockout she seems more of a Hawkgirl than a Catwoman.

Down around the Kodak Theater celebrity impersonator street performers must’ve been getting passe. However if they keep up with the reality TV antics they just might boost their business – assuming that their business is attracting attention from passing gawkers! If they keep it up they might even be on the fast track to super hero rehab! As for you non professionals out there – remember that it doesn’t pay to mess with a chick in a cat suit (unless she’s that poor pathetic Erin Esurance who’s more or less out of work now and may even be resorting to porno!) – not even at Comic-con!


Celebrity Astrology – if you have a birthday this month then you have at least one thing in common with Sarah Palin and Paris Hilton (and I can’t wait for their eventual and inevitable reality TV show together, just as soon as they can decide which one is gonna run as VP candidate and which will take the lead)! Just don’t overdo the Aquarius connection cause one thing in common with those two might be more than enough!


PS. As mentioned former cartoon vixen Erin Esurance is in a sorry state. Once upon a time she was the hottest thing in online car insurance. There were even talks of spy girl spin offs. That was a while back. Since then she’s been sidelined and out of work. The long dry spell may be starting to get to the once indefatigable super heroine too, as her latest tweets sound kinda desperate, with mentions of insanity creeping in.

That rumored part time security guard gig really seems to have broken her spirit! Stay strong Erin, and stay out of rehab!

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The chips are still down for Chris Brown

I told you not to push the wrong buttons!


Charlie Sheen isn’t the only celebrity missing a publicist. You can add Chris Brown to the list. It’s been a rough year for Brown. Things went wrong for him a couple of Academy Awards ago. He and his then gal pal Rihanna were set to perform a duet number at the event. It was gonna be a big deal for them. Then pre Oscar nerves and anger issues got the better of Brown. While he and Rihanna were motoring around LA they had a disagreement; something about strange women leaving text messages on Brown phone. Next thing you knew Rihanna was wearing the steering wheel like a head band.

Normally that thing would’ve been hushed up. That’s what publicists are for. However this time meddling members of the public got in the way. Witnesses to the altercation phoned the cops. Since Rihanna had taken the keys from the ignition and tossed them out the window – that’s when Chris lost his shit – there was no way to blow the scene. When the authorities arrived Brown had fled the scene on foot, and they found Rihanna battered and bloodied. The police then went on to take Rihanna’s statement and take a lot of crime scene photos that didn’t do brown any good in the court of public opinion.

After that Brown was in the dog house. That’s not when his PR rep quit. Brown still had a committed fan base who were leaving lots of Myspace and Facebook messages of support. So there was still the opportunity to do important work – like rebuilding his career by repairing his image. Chris would have to lay low for awhile. Then when everyone had calmed down a bit he could make some low key public apologies. The apologies are no problem. PR Reps can whip those up pretty quick, and may even have standard form letter type mea culpa on file and waiting just in case; just the way major newspapers have the obits for troubled celebs drawn up in advance and ready to role. It also helps to have an experienced person write these things up for you so that you’ll sound like you know what you did wrong.

Everything was going off according to plan. Chris was even getting ready to release some stuff and do some public appearances. A few duets with established and respectable performers were lined up. That’s so Chris could get back into the public’s good graces on the coat tails of performers that they still liked. The manipulators were using every trick in the book and it looked like the plan might pay off too. Then Chris goes and pulls one of his patented boners.

The boner in question occurred shortly after a recent GMA interview. Chris was being interviewed by Robin Roberts. Now doubt all the ground work had been done in advance. The PR team had moved in with a pre selected set of questions – nothing awkward; and instruction to kid glove the interview. Then Robin went and did something that threw everything out of whack. She brought up Rihanna. That put Chris off his game. By the time he got back to his dressing room he had a full head of steam. So full in fact that he trashed the joint like he was Charlie Sheen entertaining a hooker in a hotel room. He tried to throw a chair through a window too, for good measure. When the creative temperament goes tilt, look out!

That little stunt seemed to be the last straw. It did get Chris a lot of publicity. People started talking about him like he was the bastard child of OJ Simpson by Mel Gibson or something. Only Dick Cheney and Sarah Palin were more publicly disliked. That’s to say that though he might still have a future in politics, show business is looking bleak for him right now! Maybe he can find something on FOX News.

They say that there’s no such thing as bad press. The trouble is that this kind of press was completely opposite tot he kind of press his hard working PR team had been trying to build up for him over the past year. You know, the whole “Chris Brown is not a monster” angle. Then in one impulsive outburst he threw that hard work down the drain. Since trying to help some one who isn’t helping themselves is a waste, his rep Tammy Brook walked off the job in disgust.

So things don’t look good for Chris right now. Getting your own PR rep is a right of passage for celebrities. It mark the acceptance into the ‘community’, the way confirmation does for Christians. They’re the ones who show you the finer points of playing the game. They get rid of those personal problems the way a father confessor might help clear things up with God. So when your PR rep abandons you, it’s like being excommunicated from the entertainment business. After that it’s down hill no matter how bad you want to get back. You can still put yourself out there, but you’re strictly D List. You career prospects are restricted to pitching reality TV shows based on fucking up, and possibly dating Kat Von D.

This is the position that poor Chris currently finds himself in. So for all of you who were worried that a woman beater might worm his way back into a successful entertainment career, relax. If you ever see this guy again it’s gonna be on a double date with Michael Lohan, or on some reality TV spectacle like Dr Drew’s Rehab. Perhaps he might hook up with Octomom!

That might be possible since Chris hasn’t given up and is trying to say the right things, like “I got very emotional, and I wanna apologize for acting like that.” So maybe he could play the bi polar angle. It could even be time for a drug abuse admission. Probelm is that without a PR rep to sell that, he’s gonna have a hard time getting the media to take it seriously. He’s like a tree falling in the forrest without anyone to run around to news outlets for him explaining that the tree has a problem which requires our understanding and sympathy. Look on the bright side Chris – the National Enquirer is gonna be following you for years to come!

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Rush Fools In Where Angels Fear to Tread

What’s the difference between Gilbert Gottleib and Rush Limbaugh – Gottlieb doesn’t pretend to be a serious political commentator!

What can you say about a big fat pill head who shoots of his mouth public? Now I’m not referring to Alex Jones. Jones is cogent & thoughtful compared to this professional blowhard. The blowhard is Rush Limbaugh and regular listeners probably noticed that this dude’s mouth lost contact with his brain – which itself lost contact with reality so that’s a fine state of affairs – some time back – and started freewheeling. In fact it’s been freewheeling further and further off the beaten path & on on to the lunatic fringe.

Rush offer’s political commentary the way a backed up septic tank offers raw sewage

Now a lot of shit has come out of Limbaugh’s big gaping maw over the course of his bombastic and otherwise banal talk radio career, but the loud mouthed snook has recently out done himself. You might not believe what those loose lips recently let slip. Now for those unfamiliar with Limbaugh’s routine, he’s the guy who takes political commentary down to a carnival barker level. His usual spiel borders on the kill abortionist to respect he sanctity of life routine, or bring democracy to the rest of the world by bombing it flat. He supports mandatory gun owner ship for all America’s – especially deranged kooks who might take a shot at the president (Lush Dumbaugh might call that Tea Party Patriotism others might wonder whether years of pharmaceutical pill abuse have caused some serious brain damage), just in case the Russkies mount some kind of commie counter attack. I’m not sure how he stands on making use of the poor and down trodden in some Solyent Green type plan – but I hear he was a great fan of Swift’s Modest Proposal until some one explained to him that it was a satire. “You mean it’s a fairy story? Just like the Bible? Bah hum bug!” In other words he’s a pair of tinfoil under shorts away from being Glenn Beck.

… amd you thought Charlie Sheen was nuts!

Now when you got a big loose cannon of a mouth then you usually say some pretty outrageous things just as a matter of course. Stuff like “Eat the poor” and “bomb everything“, In other words he’s like Glenn Beck after a stroke. So when you shoot off on a level that makes Charlie Warlock Sheen sound calm, considered and rational, you got some real personal standard of psychosis to maintain. The one thing that you can say about the Rusher is that he’s got a real and undeniable talent for topping himself. To bad he doesn’t have more of a talent for stopping himself.

don’t tempt Mother Nature by driving a Prius

Top himself is what the big fat wind bag recently did on the subject of Japan. Now while the est of North America tormented them selves wit guilt about not doing more to help those poor wretches living over there in the disaster zone; homeless, with limited food and medicine, and often not enough room at the shelters; Rush as a different take on the situation. According to Rush Japan has no one else to blame for their current misfortune because Mother Gaia has malicious laid them low as her way for showing her appreciation for the Prius.

the electrical car will draw down the wrath of God

According to Lush Rimbaugh Japan went wrong went they got all ecological. They started flooding the America car market with all these eco responsible cars with the dinky lawn mower engines on an eco angle – instead of flooding he market with these huge tyrannosaurus rex gas guzzling hummers – Rush figures that this was some transparent attempt to suck up to Mother Earth – and being a woman, you can’t expect anything in the way of gratitude. You can only expect to be trampled under foot. So if you’re not willing to show Big Bitch who’s the boss you gotta expect to be trampled under earth after the Great Devouring Mother has gnawed the meat off your bones and finished sucking the marrow from your bones. So playing along ain’t gonna get you anywhere.

Ruch Limbaugh – an pill induced level of brain damage that makes Ann Coulter look like William F Buckley jr!

Lest Rush get upset and claim to have been misquoted by some Internet blogger, here’s the gist of what he did say on his Tuesday show. While discusing the whole subject of the Japan earthquake, The Rusher said – on the air – that:

“If these are the people that invented the Prius, have mastered public transportation, recycling, why did Mother Earth, Gaia if you will, hit them with this disaster?” “They’ve given us the Prius. Even now, refugees are recycling their garbage.” Here, he began to laugh, continuing, “and yet, Gaia levels them! Just wipes them out!”

“He’s right,” Limbaugh said. “They’ve given us the Prius. Even now, refugees are recycling their garbage.” Here, he began to laugh, continuing, “and yet, Gaia levels them! Just wipes them out!”

suck my goof balls

Now Rusher doesn’t exactly sound like like Mother Theresa. In fact he sounds like he’s back on those goof balls that every Republican condemns and every other republic secretly takes – like Rush himself. Though it must be said that an undisclosed number of those God fearing neocons (is the proper term “Neocon” or “Necrophile”? – I keep getting them confused) do that shit so that the they can score gay sex in public restrooms while adopting the wide stance in the hopes of some toe tapping fun with anonymous strangers! Keeping in touch with the public is what’s helped keep them relevant!

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Gilbert the Gremlin

What the Rusher does sound like is one of those tactless stand up comedians like Gilbert Gottlieb who though that about 13 000 dead Japanese was fodder for crude humour. In fact Gilbert Goblips got taken to task over this shoot from the lip comedy. He lost his lucrative Afleck Duck gig. Since that was bout the only work he currently had, he’s know cooling his heels in the dog house without so much of a bone to gnaw on.

Will Lush Dumbaugh become the next Alex Jones? It’s a dicey business when you can’t control your big shit spewing mouth!

So if Gottlieb can get publicly reamed out for his tactless lack of basic humanity, can we we except a big fat pill addled loud mouth snook – who has basically blamed the Japanese for their own misfortunes – to make his way back to public creditability? Maybe after a brief rehab hiatus, some crocodiles tears, and a lot of transparent excuses? Since the Gottlieb precedent has already been set it might be time for Lush Rimbaugh to take a brief vacation from the talk radio circuit – just the way Dr Laura Schlesinger did after she had that unfortunate attack of Tourette’s Syndrome on the air (Laura S is currently discussing with her publicist the possibility of being bi polar – at least professionally – of course Flip Wilson describes that as “the devil made me do it“). If he can blame the whole incident on a pill addiction relapse, than he might be able to worm his way into Dr Drew’s Celebrity Rehab, an even eventually redemption.

Rush & Gottlieb – watch you step or your feet could wind up in your feet in your mouths again; not that there ain’t plenty of room in there for ’em

A lot of mea culpe’s and some crocodile tears and even that shit cannon of a mouth of his might one day be ready for a return to the airwaves, If he can play the bi polar angle, even he might even be able to work his way back into a broadcasting career via the reality TV rehab route. Word of advice to the Rusher though – in the unlikely event you ever find you self on radio in any capacity other than as Alex Jone’s comic foil side kick, you might want to get your brain in motion before that mouth of yours gets into gear. Your next attack of verbal diarrhea under the guise of no spin straight shootin’ commentary might be our very last, After that you won’t even find cartoon voice over work. Besides there are some eager cooperate spoketoones looking for work and eager to take you jobs!

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2 1/2 Men On Indefinite Hiatus

@least this takes the pressure off of Lindsay Lohan!

http://www.youtube.com/get_player


getting by on the benefit of the doubt

By now everyone has heard the news about Charlie Sheen. He’s been getting more attention than Lindsay Lohan & Mohammar Quadaffi, put together. However to keep you up to speed: Charlie has been going through along steady fuck up every since he was married to Denise Richards. Back then they were at odds about Charlie’s refusal to get his daughters immunized (immunization is an Illuminati plot to spread autism), and his odd interests. Odd interests were porn and conspiracies with a side order of prescription pills. Since Charlie and Denise were splitting, and Denise was busy busting up another marriage on the side, every one assumed that she was a greedy manipulative slut. So Charlie got the benefit of the doubt.

here we go again

The benefit of the doubt allowed Charlie to get rid of Denise and move on to the next greedy manipulative slut. Their witches’ brew of a marriage came to a boil on Christmas (Illuminati Solstice Holiday!) in a Festivus type fuck up that had Charlie holding a knife on either Brooke, or the turkey! Since Mueller was a crack headed whore who’d done coke and gone to rehab while pregnant, no one was going to give her the benefit of the doubt, even if they were less willing to give to Charlie.

Bedlam @ The Hotel Califonrnia

With Brooke out of the way that left Charlie free to his own devices. His own devices included entertaining Denise and the kids while simultaneously fucking whores and trashing hotel rooms. In other words Charlie was flirting with self destruction in a style 60’s rock’n’roll martyrs would envy. He trashed a room in the Plaza Hotel, and a frightened porn actress hide in a cupboard. He caused $7000 in damage. He also gave some sleazy girls their first real taste of publicity!

a sudden violent hernia

While everyone else was asking “What next?” and “how far is this gonna go?” the CBS brass were trying to decide what they should do. Charlie is a big boy, and if he likes to party hardy, then how can you tell the guy what to do? You’re only his boss, not his mommy. Charlie was making some decisions too. Like having a massive porn & drugs blow out that landed him in the emergency ward with a “hernia“. “Hernia” is what you call a sudden violent attack of “celebrity dehydration“, or “exhaustion“.

rehab with assholes

Charlie was out soon enough, but some how everyone was more concerned with his state of mind than his hernia. Perhaps they missed the point, or maybe they ignored the memo. Anyway CBS finally decided that something had to be done. Since Charlie was reluctant to rehab with assholes under a bridge of trolls, that left the other alternative – hiatus.

Radio Free Tinfoil

At first this was only supposed to be temporary. However a lot of stories started coming out. Like the rumors about the 300 crew members losing their livelihoods. Also that Charlie had blown of rehab to do recovery at home, with hookers and tons of blow. So hiatus started looking less temporary. Then Charlie went nuts on the Alex Jones Show.

Broadcasting to the Tinfoil Nation

If you don’t know who Jones is he’s a Texas radio personality who got kicked off the air for being too over the top. He’s like Les Nessman on speed or something. Anyway Alex went straight on tot he Internet with a conspiracy based radio. After a few spots on Coast to Coast AM Jones was getting a following. That’s good cause Alex had tons of important news to share with the world: like fluoride cause brain damage, your light bulbs are spying on you, and wearing tinfoil while watching TV reduces the risk of epileptic seizures -which are a common side effect of Illuminati mind control technology!

I cured it with my mind, so kiss my alpha waves!

AS Charlie increasingly lost touch with reality he became increasingly involved with conspiracy theories. It happens; when life become surreal and difficult, the mind becomes more accepting of a deeper crazy madness behind the method. So with plenty of free time to kill, Charlie began listening more to Jones. He might have ordinarily slutted it up with his porn family but scrutiny made that impossible. A back up of unreleased semen combined with cocaine overload may have lead to what happened next.

flight of the moon bats

Charlie got himself worked up and decided to phone Alex on the air. This is the type of break everyone in media dreams of, so Alex let him right on. He also gave Sheen about 15 minutes ot vent whatever was on his mind. What was on his mind was some pretty disturbing ramblings filled with hyper defensiveness, and some violent symbolism. There were also some pointed remarks about his 2 1/2 Men boss ‘Little Hymie Lipschitz‘. Here are some excerpts from that interview:

technical difficulties – show canceled due to star’s malfunction

Now when that got out Charlie was toast. CBS immediately announced that the show was gone for the rest of the season. Since it was TV’s No 1 comedy, it puts extra pressure on the cast and crew of Big Bang Theory! It also has people wondering whether Charlie is in worse shape then they thought. Where as everyone figured hew as just some drug addict party boy, now they fear that the poor fellow may have lost his marbles. So there’s a lot of talk about having him committed. That may be why Charlie has fled the country – currently residing in Barbados. That puts him beyond the reach of those who want to intervene in his life.

As of now he’s out of the Major League remake, and 2 1/2 Men doesn’t look like it has a future either. The Charlie Sheen Story looks like it’s gonna knock everything else off of the headlines – stay tuned! Though the show is over, the story is “to be continued“! Many of us would be happy to have the story canceled and get the show back. Hopefully Charlie Sheen, a genuinely talented actor, can find some peace & grace before ‘what next‘ goes ‘too far‘.

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Faye Dunnaway – Snaky on a Plane

Today out of the starting gateway have a living legend – Faye Dunaway. You might remember her from such important work as Bonnie & Clyde, not to mention Network. Faye has been on the edges of the radar for w awhile what with her being over 60 and a woman in Hollywood. Hollywood Beauty has a very short half life, ! Anyway Faye got herself back onto the radar recently when some past antics, circa early 90’s, resurfaced by way of Page 6!

When I say that Faye had some airline related trouble I don’t mean that she brought down the plane or anything. I mean that she got on the wrong side of some airline attendants. You know how sensitive they can be – Steven Slater; and you can probably guess how demanded over the hill & irrelevant actresses can be. Making constant demands is how they reassure themselves that they’re still worth it. Reassure herself was what Dunaway did with a number of mid flight tantrums. It got so bad that attendants started calling her “The Bitch” behind her back – I guess they must have seen her films!

Little Britain

This whole thing took place on a trip to Heathrow – which is in Britain. So perhaps the Brits don’t get the whole celebrity entitlement thing the way we do over here. Maybe they weren’t prepared for Faye’s quick change into her alter ego – the one who wears a great big B on her chest! Either way they decided that they were not going to stand for Dunaway’s bitchfest antics. This in spite of the fact that Dunaway was insisting on an upgrade while demanding loudly “Don’t you know who I am?” (at least she didn’t ask them if they knew who they were fucking with – cause that line would be corn even in a film). Anyway here’s the tale as told by one of the flight attendants:



high altitude attitude

Faye Dunaway Before she boarded one early-’90s flight to London’s Heathrow, the stewardess claims that airline management contacted flight attendants and ground staff and told them that under no circumstances should they upgrade Dunaway. “This was the only time this ever happened in my career,” she said. Sure enough, Dunaway turned up at JFK with a coach ticket to London and demanded an upgrade.

The stewardess told us, “She was a total bitch, screaming at everyone and saying, ‘Don’t you know who I am?’ But we refused and sat her at the front of coach, where she could see there were seats free in business and first class, which made her even more furious. When we brought out the meal service, she snapped, ‘I am not eating,’ as if we would care.”

But the attendant added that the flight crew — taking a cue from “Mommy Dearest,” in which Dunaway played a monstrous Joan Crawford who railed, “No wire hangers, ever!” — got their revenge. “When she fell asleep, one steward said, ‘I’m going to get that bitch’ and grabbed a bunch of wire hangers and put them on the seat next to her. All the other passengers were snickering. When she woke up as the plane landed, she was wide-eyed with fury, and looked around [for] whom to blame but had no idea who did it. Then she got up and did yoga in the aisle to calm herself down.”

I especially like the part about her getting up and doing yoga in the aisle to calm herself down. Of course a few drinks might have worked even better. Then again a drunk and irate Dunaway might have been more than any flight crew and their attendants could have handled. Their only option might have been to jettison Dunaway at high altitude, mid flight – like so much excess volatile fuel! Put in that perspective, coat hangers seems a more gentle way of handling things. of the story is that if you’re an aging Hollywood beauty and still want people to pay attention, you’ll still have your bad behaviour and nasty attitude to fall back on, long after your sex appeal has deserted you!

This is probably why really successful celebrities, like John Travolta & Angelina Jolie, invest in their own private planes. When you have your own plane you’re not surrendering control of yourself over to a flight crew & attendants. Plus you sky time gives you some well needed peace & quiet, by giving you a chance to relax in the privacy you can only get at 30 000 ft. Plus you can never be too sure when your attitude is gonna fail and people are gonna have some tales to tell about what sort of a nasty shit person you really are when you can’t hold it in anymore! So at very least bring along a parachute for that next high altitude ego trip.

Get away from my invisible jet

When it comes to out of control diva behavior somethings never change, they only get worse. They happen in a more compressed time line too. Where as in the old days getting yourself royal fucked up might have taken a lifetime of boozing, bad romance, and other forms of poor judgment; by the Age of Marylin Munroe an ambitious actress could achieve that in her mid 30’s.

As TV shortened the American attention span the need arose to shorten the train wreck from life story to media byte proportions. That meant repeated waves of high impact incidents like rehab, arrest, court, etc; instead of the old fashioned slow comfortable screw up. From baseball to football in other words! So we have had the Britney’s, Christina’s etc – with the high combustion rapid burn out personal disaster stories. This form of entertainment is so intense that few young women can keep it up for long (poor Mischa Barton is looking busted lately!). Among those wild young women only a very few have stood the test of time: Paris Hilton – by going into semi retirement, Jessica Simpson – by getting fat and desperate (who saw that coming?), and of course Lindsay Lohan – by refusing to take a fall.

Lindsay has certainly had her ups and downs. So much so that her mother Dina – she’s the lesser of two evils in Lindsay’s parental situation – has felt the need to explain her daughter once again and this time to the good people @ ABC News 20/20. 20/20 are the ones who got right on that ticklish Tom vs Oprah story after Cruise flipped out on Winfrey’s couch. So they kind of bridge the gray zone between tabloid news and entertainment gossip; the way Bill Maher and Jon Stewart bridge the gap between commentary and opinion (news is getting increasingly squeezed out – and you have to go to Stephen Colbert for any possibility of Bigfoot coverage!). I especially like their astounding medical breakthrough stories! Who knew that Epsom Salts could cure depression? Any how if you want to see Dina explaining away her daughter’s trouble then hit the link over to Mocksure, where you can watch the entire interview!

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Lily Allen Hates Simon Cowell

and she has some more complaints

The last time we heard from Lily Allen she was threatening to retire from the music business – so much for promises. She was also blaming the Internet for ruining the music industry. She made known in a number of on line rants that she believed that free on line music downloading was preventing artists – such as herself – from earning a living off of their own music. The reason artists don’t make money from their own music is because recording companies eat up the profits in dubious production costs. That’s why most major acts, including the Rolling Stones – earn their bread & butter on the concert circuit. It’s also why many bootleg recordings come from the artists themselves.

Lily might shoot from the lip, but she is capable of reassessing her opinions. For one thing she has finally realized the the Internet isn’t her enemy. Lily has come out in another online rant and announced that she knows who’s really responsible for the current state of the music industry – Simon Cowell. For one thing Lily thinks that Cowell has shifted the emphasis in the industry away from smart and original indie acts, or even performers like herself; and shifted towards amateurs doing karaoke style covers.

Allen has taken to twitter, and other electronic media previously believed to be the ruination of popular music as she’s come to know and despise it – to publicly attack Cowell. For instance Lily tweeted “X factor – FAIL. Too set up/scripted in my humble opinion. I don’t know how Simon Cowell has managed to get away with essentially copywriting (sic) the talent contest. It’s beyond me, really.” She also fielded questions from fans. In response to one the tweeted “It’s s–t. FACT! It’s everything that I detest about modern western culture. Cowell is the only one who really benefits. People like you EAT IT UP.

So what has gotten into Allen? Well her behavior is no more erratic and volatile than usual. However this might be something she picked up second hand from some one else. For one think Mick Hucknell expressed pretty much the same opinion about a year or so ago. In a very public interview Hucknell basically described Cowell as the JR Ewing (kids get your parents to explain to you who JR Ewing is – but in the meantime think George W Bush). So perhaps Allen thought that she could get herself some credit for being a thoughtful person by recycling previously expressed ideas (I do it daily here – though I’ve never gotten credit for thoughtfulness. 4 out 5 Tibetan Buddhists have described Wondertrash as mindless tripe, and warned the faithful that the time spent on this site is something that they’ll never get back. Then again that’s the nature of time and they shouldn’t need to be reminded of that!). Goodness knows that Lily needs some help formulating ideas, as she no doubt does with writing her own music.

Now some people speculate that Allen has an ulterior motive for her Cowell bashing. For one thing people claim she’s resentful about not being asked on X Factor as one of their celebrity judges. For another some insist she’s jealous about celebrity enemies like Cheryl Cole being asked on. Allen is aware of this, and has addressed the issue in her usual calm & considered manner. Allen says, and I quote (hence the inclusion of quotation marks around Ms Allen’s statements) “I’d rather actually eat my own crap, than sit next to any of those goons. Except Cheryl, obvs (obviously). I’ve better things to do with my time than feed the nation with the notion that doing cover versions will sort your life out.” I’m glad she added the “actually” into that statement though I’m not sure what it proves, unless she was considering “virtually” eating her own crap and then decided that she actually felt more strongly about the issue.

Now Lily was never one to mince words, or ever leave anyone in doubt about what she really thinks. For instance in regards to the above mention Cole, Lily once said that the singer’s husband was “horrendous“. She also described Cole’s bandmate Nicola Roberts as”the ugly one in the group“. Of course that was said during a hi profile word wars between the dueling divas. If you’re a regular Wondertrash reader then you know that a lot of shit gets said online.

So what does that say about Lily Allen. Well for one thing she knows how to get attention by shooting off her big fat mouth. She’s like Megan Fox in that way; except much more obnoxious and a lot less entertaining. Of course it doesn’t take a rocket scientist, or even a Tara Reid, to realize that if you publicly bash Cowell you’re gonna get some easy media attention. He is kind of Mr Entertainment these days.

That leads to another theory as too why Allen is shooting off her big ignorant mouth in again. She must have some new project coming out, and needs to attract the spotlight in her direction. If that’s true then the bad news is that the rumors about her leaving show business were exaggerated. That story had to be too good to be true. Besides, Allen isn’t actually qualified, or even competent, to do anything else with herself (and that includes tweeting without gorss spelling and grammatical errors). Still the cheap grandstanding is unbecoming. Lily should try to put the issue in proportion – it’s not Simon Cowell’s fault is the public finds 70’s & 80’s amateur covers more interesting than anything she does. In fact maybe Cowell could come up with e few pointers for Allen to sharpen up her already tiresome routine.

wondertrash

Dr Laura Flips Out On The Air

teleshrink caught on air with foot in mouth

Dr. Laura Schlesinger can be pretty abrupt. Her recent show is no except. When confronted by caller Jade (probably not her real name) who complained about having to deal with racist house guests since getting into an inter racial marriage – Laura told the woman to lighten up. After asking the woman whether she was one of those hyper sensitive types, Dr. S went on to tell the woman that she should try to see the humour in her guests degrading and disrespectful comments. “You saw the movie ‘White Guys Can’t Jump’ right, and that was funny!”

not racist, just rhetorically ham fisted

Dr Laura has gone on to apologize for her comments. She’s claims that she was trying to make a philosophical point and got carried away. She also claims that she was immediately mortified. She did infant pull out of the last hour of her show – probably with her career flashing in front of her eyes.

“Damn! The only way I can come back from something like this is by coming out as gay!”

Maybe Laura was trying to make some point about racial over sensitivity: when are overt references to race not racist? However she picked a half assed way of doing it. In fact she seems so determined that she missed the answer she usually gives other callers in similar non race related situations; that you have the right to bar anyone dangerous, crazy, or annoying from your home. Dr Laura might find her own show banned from people’s homes as the public tries to decided if she’s moved from the annoying category into the other 2.

“What was I thinking? I can’t get away with that in the cut throat talk radio market!!”

Still you’ve got to hope that Schlessie pulls out of this. Despite her faults and excesses she is entertaining. Besides do you really want to see her go onto a career in rehabbing wayward celebrities?

wondertrash
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