More Hunger Games Outrage

What is the most abundant resource on earth? Bullshit!

George Mr Sulu Takei recently tweeted some Hunger Games comments that are so similar to my own sentiments that I could almost believe he’s been reading Wondertrash! Kudos to Sulu for getting to the real point!

check your palm flower – & be sure you’re still with the Green Party

What I don’t get is why those teens didn’t renew on carousel! Now there finished for ever. Besides most of them were yellows. Greens at most. They were years away from turning red, let alone blinking! Perhaps they might have considered running!

I like Icke

If science fiction has taught us anything it’s that the future is a savage place. That’s cause nostalgia ain’t what it used to be. If you’ve been listening to the conspiracy theorists, like David Icke, then you understand the fiendish agenda behind movies like The Hunger Games. Of course it’s predictive programming.

There’s a reasonable explanation, & then there’s the truth!

The thing is that society is ruled by blood drinking child sacrificing lizards from another dimension. That’s where the myth of vampires – which are getting so popular recently what with Kate Beckinsale sashaying around in her skin tight cat suit & tarted up like Erin Esurance with fangs, or Robert Pattison & Kristen Stewart with their slightly creepy goth puppy – come from. Vampires used to be ugly brutes, like Nosferatu in the black & white film. They might be played by legendary Hollywood Creep Actors like Peter Lore or Bela Lugosi. Now they’re played by B Movie Queens & hot teens. It’s an attempt to make them cool, & sell the agenda to the masses.

New World Disorder – truth is stranger than fiction and reality is a trip!

The agenda is more than blood drinking, but that’s a big part of it. The reason these beasts got hooked on human blood is because when it’s loaded with stress hormones it becomes a powerful drug to these reptoids. It’s like meth x1000! So naturally they can’t get enough of the stuff. The problem is how to keep the humans wound up enough to make sure that they favorite brand of Red Bull packs the right punch. So they destabilize society to keep people in a constant state of fear an uncertainty. Plus they keep us in a state of contention, until we literally define ourselves by conflict and competition – just like The Hunger Games!

college taught me nothing – everything I know I learned from tin foil hat media!

So we’re not in Kansas anymore. Just imagine what we don’t know! We can see for ourselves that our world is being transformed before our very eyes into something surreal. It’s a programming of terra forming that’s changing our world from our home into theirs in much the same way that the Europeans stole North America from the Indians and then build their own weird matrix upon it! It happened slowly and insidiously. By the time the Indians got around to futile rebellion, it was too damned late. With the bizarre changes that have been creeping upon us you could almost believe that some star ship of reptilians actually found it’s way here some time in the not too distant past, and that the visitors have been disguising themselves and taking over behind the scenes in a strategy that circumvents any direct conflict. Stealth is so much more effective.

invasion of the star people & the holographic agenda

The agenda of stealth relies heavily on perception management and image manipulation. Holography as David Icke calls it. That’s not so far out. A movie is merely the technique (& you can’t call it an art) of projecting a false image (Even Johnny Depp refers to his on screen image as “it”, and like to remains ‘profoundly ignorant’ to distance himself from the celluloid creature. Of course all successful movie stars are MK Ultra programmed multiplies with butterfly mind control, but that’s another story and Fritz Springmeier tells it best! Needless to say if you’re an aspiring actor or actress going out on auditions then be sure to wear a butterfly pin and you’ll be in like Flynn, but be warned. If you wear the emblem of the cult and you aren’t a programmed monarch slave, then you soon will be once you’ve attracted their attention. They’ll suspect you wore their butterfly symbol because you know something. Knowing something makes you dangerous – which is why so many get marginalized as ‘crazy’ conspiracy theorists. Then you’ll be whisked off for some impromptu brainwashing to make you one of Hollywood’s obedient little zombies. Before you know it you be in some back room in some abandoned studio lot, spaced out on LSD, blindfolded and ball gagged while an electric cattle prod is repeated shoved up your ass. So Julia Voth be warned – that sport of thing happens in the entertainment industry all the time!). So naturally the reptilians have infiltrated entertainment – where they are masters of appearing to be other than what they are, news media, the music industry, politics, and basically every other form of human entertainment. That way they can toy with our consciousness by slipping their embedded hidden messages in. So children are taught that hunting each other for sport is heroic and cool!

tricked into pretending and make believe games

The point is that everyone knows that something is wrong with the entertainment industry but no one is sure just what it is. Some people think that its’ just a bunch of shallow greedy low key psychopaths who found a way to sublimate their anti social urges for fun and profit, quietly working their way up the food chain in the process. Others think that it has to be way more serious than that, possibly involving star ships and dimensional portals. I’d have written of the reptilians theory has far fetched but there has been confirmation. Hunter S Thompson saw people morphing into lizards during a trip to Las Vegas while he was stoned out of his mind. They point is that something has to be done about this ‘ cultural poisoning’ and as usual the best thing to do is nothing. Turn off, tune out, and drop out! When you’ve lost touch too much it’s about as much as you can do! Anyone who decides not to show up at work on Monday has my blessing!

the only choice is to refuse and live among the ruins

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Shit Happens – How John Edwards lost his chance & got into tabloid hell

Rielle Hunter
was a troublesome tiresome bitch even back when she was called Lisa Druck. That description might be a bit harsh. Maybe she was an accident waiting for a place to happen. That’s if you want to believe one of her oldest friends. The friend is Pigeon O Brien, and Pigeon is the one now taking credit for ratting Rielle and her presidential candidate boyfriend John Edwards out to the National Enquirer. So Pij has some explaining to do. Explain she has in a recent HuffPo piece, the gist of which is below.

Pij knew Rielle back when she was Lisa. That was in the 80’s at a place called Nell’s bar. According to Pij, Lisa was either always swaggering around hollering her head off, or frightening guys out of the bar and into taxis that sped away rapidly. No one really liked the obnoxious little twat, but she was interesting. There were lots of stories about promiscuity, other women’s husbands, and strip poker. Besides many were a little too afraid of her to stand up.

Pij & Druck moved on and lost touch, the way friends will. Then one day O Brien meets her old friend again. It was 2004 @ a swanky NYC dinner party. Rielle shows up, but totally reinvented. She’s got a head full of new ideas too, like Buddhism, MTV, motivational speakers as the new rock stars, and of course striking it rich! Pij was at loose ends (that’s what you call it when some one is into web design & PR on a freelance basis), and Hunter had a lot of ideas to keep her old friend occupied. So they got together to do a website aimed at getting Hunter into the motivational speaking racket by way of MTV. Now this wasn’t just a big idea but was backed up with a lot of hot air, as the pair spent hours a day jabbering with each other on the phone.

Since swinging their jaw bones was as close as they got to productive work, the website never really took off. O Brien and Hunter’s relationship got a little strained. They’d occasionally lose radio contact. Then one day and out of the blue as it were, Hunter calls up and says that she’s in love. She describes a guy from North Carolina. While Pij is busy thinking Jethro Beaudine (Those Yankees and their ethnic-regional stereotyping! It’s the white middle class educated liberal’s version of racism.), Hunter goes on to describe a golden god with rock star charisma. O Brien didn’t put 2 + 2 together right away. Maybe she was expecting Robert Plant. When O Brien heard the words”John” and “North Carolina” on TV and looks up to see John Edwards on the screen with Hunter hovering near by, the jig is up.

“SHIT,” I thought to myself, “we’re in trouble now.”

Now this is where the story gets interesting. Pij & Hunter had a sort of up and down relationship; as you might expect with at least one drama queen, and when bills for services rendered aren’t getting promptly paid. Hunter had stopped teaching yoga to devote herself full time to the Golden Meal Ticket. Meanwhile she’s constantly babbling on and on about love. Meanwhile Edwards was positioning himself for a run at the White House. Since his wife Elizabeth was a big part of his public image package, things were about to get really interesting.

standing out in a crowd and still spell check fixable!

It was about the same time as Hunter began producing a set of cheesy promo videos for Edwards that people began calling O Brien to inquire as to the nature of her friend’s relationship with Edwards. O Brien says that the media tracked her down through her listing on Hunter’s website. The fact that her name is Pigeon makes her stand out from the Jennys and Janes (now you know why celebs love to have outrageous names). Pigeon says that at first she was very tight lipped about the whole cheating on his dying wife with the crazy bitch from my old bar story. The reporters just wouldn’t leave her alone though. Eventually the constant nagging got to her. She started asking herself whether this kind of behavior is acceptable in a public figure. She states in her article that it’s no one’s business who you sleep with, but issues of trust and betrayal are very important. I guess that’s supposed to make what she did next come off as noble.

a raw nerve in a barrel of monkeys

According to O Brien some where along the line she got the idea that the public needed to know. Getting herself out of hot water wouldn’t be so bad either. So she started phoning the numbers of some of those publications she said were eager to talk about Hunter (I think she mentioned about 2 before she got to the National Enquirer, though to hear her tell it the phone was off the hook and she was cracking from pressure. So the assumption is that she got a few calls from a couple of places that noticed who did the video and then checked out the website. Since Edwards was in the primaries they may have thought that it was worthwhile to call and ask a few general questions. They may not have had anything specific in mind, which is born out by the fact that when she got back in touch they didn’t know what she was talking about when she mentioned “the affair“. It’s either that or she didn’t get all of her facts straight for her big HuffPo article. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt ans assume she was a bit histrionic and overreacted.). Her first few ventures didn’t come off – people who wanted to know didn’t believe anything was going on. Finally she got around to The Pulitzer Prize Nominated National Enquirer. That’s when she hit pay dirt!

The Candidate & the TV Psychic!

According to Pigeon the NE wasn’t exactly sure who Edwards was at first. So she had to bring them up to speed, so they’d understand how the affair fit in. Once they got the general idea they didn’t need much encouragement. A presidential candidate cheating on his dying wife with a TV psychic sounds like something just made for them. Only the additions of Bigfoot and a UFO could’ve made the tale complete! So they started sniffing around for whatever smelled like shit.

faux vox popoli

That’s the point at which the cat crawled out of the bag. Edwards got Hunter under wraps – hiding her out in a series of rented mansions according to Pigeon. Meanwhile HuffPo, sensing that the shit was about to hit the fan something might be up, printed an article questioning why the Hunter produced promo vids had all of a sudden disappeared. That got them a lot of hate mail from outraged people pretending not to be associated with the Edwards campaign. It also nearly got the article’s writer Sam Stein fired. However things had gone too far by that time. Within a week or two the NE published it’s Edwards Cheating story.

This is the point at which anyone with any sense would’ve dropped out. Edwards plowed on. Pressure was put on the media to shut the fuck up ignore the stories. After all it was only unsubstantiated rumor based on the kind of circumstantial evidence that failed to convict OJ Simpson. John himself began throwing around cruel and hurtful phrases like “tabloid trash & lies” (celebrity types can be so unkind when they’re on the defensive). His long suffering wife made off the record comments about the Enquirer as the UFO paper. Meanwhile Edwards’ functionaries memo-ed the LA Times begging them to take the journalistic high road and not to go down market with the gossip shit rags. The shaming and bull shitting might have worked too, except Johnny Boy got caught spending a night with Hunter in a hotel. If you play around with fire long enough you’re bound to get burned!

John Edwards – a frickin totally bitchin rock star from Mars!

Lying-John-EdwardsSo now the cheating story went into overdrive. Hunter’s pregnancy got out too. Edwards tired to deny that at first. He claimed that he’d only been in that hotel late at night with an emotionally unstable woman because he desperately wanted to help her with her troubles. Besides the woman was clearly some sort of slut on the make so her kid could belong to anyone – Mel Gibson, 007, you name it. That kind of desperation is the sign that the chips are down.

John Edwards is like the last rat on a sinking ship

When the chips are down is when you find out who your friends really are. Some of Edwards friends, like Andrew and Cheri Young, decided to make their own deals. Young wrote a tell all about the man he backed to the hilt for years, called the Politician. Since he’d done a lot of work keeping the Hunter story under wraps, his damage control experience must’ve made him credible. Of course Pigeon went to the National Enquirer to get the dung ball rolling. Who knows what possessed her, beyond her self professed Jimmy Stewart style commitment to American Democracy (note to readers, never watch Mr Smith Goes to Washington while you’re on acid, ’cause it will mind fuck your brains down into your socks! “My God – I’ve got to go out and get into trouble by doing the right thing so that the cavalry can rescue me!“). Readers will get the impression that flighty and self involved Hunter could be a tough act to take, and if you had to deal with her long enough you want to see her get what was coming to her too. Of course if Edwards had any real friends, or even trustworthy handlers, they’d have recognized what Hunter was before she ever got through the door, and run interference.

the upshot on this shit -“let’s be careful out there

So I guess the upshot is that we live in a global village or something now. That’s like living in a semi detached housing complex – think Melrose Place. So it’s an environment where news is increasingly gossip; and that kind of bad news can do you in (as John Galliano has found out the hard way – suppose France wants Jack’s Legion of Honor back?). So don’t piss anyone off, or you’ll get their goat – and they might even get yours, as Rosesanne Barr’s Hawaiian neighbors recently and allegedly pointed out. Now go out there and behave yourselves!

Angry Samson

by Robert Graves

Are they blind, the lords of Gaza
In their strong towers,
Who declare Samson pillow-smothered
And stripped of his powers?

O stolid Philistines,
Stare now in amaze
At my foxes running in your cornfields
With their tails ablaze,

At swung jaw-bone, at bees swarming
In the stark lion’s hide,
At these, the gates of well-walled Gaza
A-clank to my stride.


Ricky Gervais – about the fall out

Tricky Ricky

ricky gervais deal with it memeThe morning following the Golden Globes was the first time that the event was generally talked about since ever. In fact people are still talking about it. The reason everyone is talking about it is because of the host – Ricky Gervais. If you’ll recall, and I’m sure you do, Ricky went in to the Beverly Hilton with a big assed pair of sun glasses and loaded for bear. He started his opening monologue with a crack at Charlie Sheen. He then went on to take a swipe at everyone in the room. By the time the ceremonies mid point rolled ’round the Rickster was absent, and rumors were swirling that he’d been fired mid show. Seems that Ricky tread on some pretty sensitive toes. in fact a comedic monologue didn’t go down as bad with the targets since Homer Simpson sent up Mr. Burns at the old bastard’s birthday bash.

same non coverage, but not the same non event!

So that had everyone speculating about Gervais future in Hollywood. Except for the ones who didn’t dare breath a word about it, like ET. They cover the usually bullshit like, are Brad and Angelina still in love, and wasn’t Selena Gomez’s dress pretty. It was ET’s usual “Who lost the most weight” type of coverage.That’s why ET has zero creditability. If the sound of Mary Hart’s voice didn’t trigger seizures in epileptic no one would pay any attention to the show.

most wanted but least liked

As for the rest of the world, they wanted to know whether or not Gervais was still alive and well, or whether a coalition of Scientologists, star whackers, and disgruntled celebrities had gotten together and bumped him off. Gervias himself put those rumors to rest with an outrageous post fall out public appearance – in which he showed off his own golden globes. here’s a little peak at that for your viewing entertainment!

Remember me? I’m still here!

So Gervais is very much alive and unrepentantly outrageous. That still leaves the question open of just how much shit the poor man has gotten himself into. Officially he’s very much in shit. The Hollywood Foreign Press Association, which sponsors the big to do, made released this statement shortly after the shit hit the fan:

“We loved the show. It was a lot of fun and obviously has a lot of people talking. When you hire a comedian like Ricky Gervais, one expects in your face, sometimes outrageous material. Certainly, in this case, he pushed the envelope and occasionally went too far. The HFPA would never condone some of his personal remarks. Overall, however, the show was among the best we’ve ever had and we were pleased.”

Hollywood in a state of shit shock

Now that’s kind of ambiguous. When ego’s need stroking you have to be clearer. So a little later on President of the HFPA Phillip Berk said – “He definitely crossed the line. And some of the things were totally unacceptable. But that’s Ricky.” Like Ricky’s gold boxer trunks, Berk wanted to leave nothing to the imagination. He did seem to hedge with the “But that’s Ricky” ender. So later he went a little further, saying “I had absolutely no idea what Ricky was going to say so anything I heard was heard was the same time you heard it,” Berk said. “When you hire Ricky Gervais, you expect the unexpected.” The trouble with expecting the unexpected is that you can still get the shit shocked out of you!

non commentary in the echo chamber

That may have been the word from Berk’s office but insiders were putting it even more emphatically. An unnamed member of HFPA, was quoted in HuffPo by way of Popeater (at least the Daily Beast can come up with original commentary – I’m just jumping on the bandwagon here because I don’t actually read TheDailyBeast, or even HuffPo) said, and I quote: “Ricky will not be invited back to host the show next year, for sure,” the HFPA member said. “For sure any movie he makes he can forget about getting nominated. He humiliated the organization last night and went too far with several celebrities whose representatives have already called to complain.” So in other words a bunch of oversensitive celebrity cry babies got their surgically bobbed noses out of joint.

Being Frank

That raises another good question – are these stars so fucked up and full of themselves that they can’t take a joke? Back in the old days of the Dean Martin Celebrity Roast that kind of routine was expected. Frank Sinatra had to sit through a bunch of B Listers and failed Vegas stand ups talking worse trash about him more than once, and Frank had a temper. However Don Rickles never did get knee capped. In fact he was back again and again and again to stick it to the Rat Pack (until his routine got so tired than many wished Frank would have him knee capped). The difference between Frank and the current crop of celebrity wannabes is that Frank could take it and laugh.

Remember when celebrities had the style to take a joke?

Entertainment Tonight – a dial tone in a digital universe

It brings up another point too. As said previously, this is the first time ever that regular people were talking about the Golden Globes the day after (and still the day after that) rather than tuning out the Entertainment Tonight blathering static – “How Demi Moore lost 15 pounds for awards night & what Oprah’s eating!“. It seems like the celebrity set are content to be completely irrelevant as long as they can go on being famous!

let’s give them something to talk about catch there is that celebrities are raving ego maniacs (except for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Jolie was in total bitch mode at the beginning of the evening, as she coiled next to Pitt with the usual look in her eyes that made you ask whether she was on drugs or completely possessed. After Gervais got into full swing camera pans showed Jolie loosening up, sitting up in her chair, and laughing mischievously. This even though she herself was the butt of some of the humour! Though Wondertrash has been no Jolie supported in the past, the official policy might have to change!). Raving egomaniac means ‘not able to take anything remotely resembling criticism‘. However it also means ‘can’t bear not being talked about‘.

“me first” again – one way or another

Now, for the first time in a generation, real people are really talking about them. That’s got to mean something. In fact I’m guess that Hollywood’s “Me Generation” could even get used to that. So once reality sinks in – and good luck on anything like reality ever setting in anywhere near Hollywood – Gervais might get forgiven. Who knows, we might even being seeing him again a lot sooner than insiders would lead us to believe! Let’s just say Gevais is the price celebrities pay for remaining relevant. Meanwhile we can always rely on ET to keep us abreast of Kim Kardashian’s new boob implants!


Rehab Claims Another Child Star Butch Patrick? He was the adorably creepy wolf-boy Eddy Munster on the Munsters TV series (that was the Adams Family rip off, though in a more enjoyable series). Growing up the product of a mixed TV marriage couldn’t have been easy (mother was some kind of ghoul and father was a whatever/Frankenstein creature). Add to that the pressures of being a were-child actor and young Butch was on the road to trouble.

Trouble, for Butch, took the usual form: alcohol, marijuana, and cocaine. Butch has struggled with those chemical demons for years. Years have added up to about 4 decades and counting. Recently years of trouble came to a head. Butch was seeing a young woman, Donna McCall, that he’d met at a fan convention (you know a celebrity is in a serious career slump when they start seeing their stalker – unless they’re Orlando Bloom. Now I’m no referring to the clingy and heavily pregnant Miranda Kerr, though some have pointed out that she does have a creepy stalkerish quality when it comes to Orlando. What I’m referring to is an incident that occurred some years back, Orlando was being stalked by a desperate young woman. She had cornered him in his hotel room. At first Orlando was afraid to leave the room as he watched her watching him through the hotel room window. Then he thought to himself “She’s lonely out there, and I’m lonely in here. We have so much in common!” With that he invited her in and they spent the evening having a heart to heart chat. I guess after that Miranda seemed like an improvement. So it just goes to show that dreams can come true, sort of. Just don’t take a stun gun and duct tape along when you go after your favourite celebrity; cause they’re skittish and the Dexter kit might put them off!). They began seeing each other and there was even some talk of marriage.

Well these Comic-con relationships seldom work out. Butch and his girlfriend had a falling out, and that lead to a bust up, which eventually lead to poor Butch checking himself into rehab. I guess getting dumped by your stalker is a bit of a come down even when your already on the bottom. Butch’s representatives, and he still has them (getting repped is like baptism in show business – you can’t lose it no matter how far you stray from the path) have tried to put a good spin on it. get a grip on his addiction and educate himself. We have thought he could possibly be a product of the child star problem … and are thankful he will take control of his fate. an unnamed spokesperson said. Rehab, education, trying to become a productive member of society; it sounds pretty bad (as bad as your average parole board review!). Maybe worse than Lindsay Lohan. It’s even worse than it sounds – Butch’s rehab isn’t one of those 5 star jobs. The poor fellow is getting dried out in New Jersey! Hopefully this little cautionary tale will serve as food for thought to some of you fame seeking potential celebrities in waiting out there. Entertainment can get ugly when it goes wrong; and it almost never goes right.

I’d say that these child star fuck up stories are becoming more common except that there so common that they’ve become a sad cliche (ever since the late Dana Plato of Different Strokes held up that video store anyway). Now they’re occurring with disturbing regularity. Disney actresses Lindsay Lohan and Demi Lovato are currently simultaneously in rehab. Then again Disney was always the tool of evil. The thing is that gossip never stops. Fortunately (or not) for you, Wondertrash never sleeps!


Comeback kids

‘Wound modern, aged band-waggon.’

Yesterday’s post covered the sad strange tale of Randy and Evi Quaid. They are the former B List entertainers who ran afoul of a Hollywood business cult called the Starwhackers, and wound up having to run to Canada to seek political asylum, and to speak out freely on organized crime in Hollywood. It’s sounds funny when you put it that way. That’s probably why everyone laughed about it. Though people laughed, they couldn’t help paying attention. The tale just kept getting weirder with accusations that starwhackers in suits had killed Heath Ledger and others for the bottom line. They even produced a hit list of names like Britney Spears (currently being black mailed by her bodyguard) and Lindsay Lohan (currently being held against her will in rehab, but being charged with the bill for treatment!). People laughed, but we also believed Balloon Boy’s dad, and that chick who splashed her own face with acid outside Starbuck’s and then claimed a black woman attacked her.

running a shit treadmill – not literally, figuratively!

Since people didn’t believe a word of this, and since the Quaids kept on talking and talking and talking about it; their credibility kept tumbling farther and farther down the toilet. That’s bad since the Quaids allegedly owe a lot of money, and are gonna owe even more in legal fees. Randy last worked seriously in Brokeback Mountain, but turned around and sued the producers for a bigger piece of the action when the film did better than expected. Perhaps that’s when he first antagonized the Starwhackers. Short answer is that with nothing coming in and plenty going out Randy is gonna need some kind of good paying work lined up and soon. However with his current image troubles the only plausible line they could get into would be reality TV. “On The Lam” with Randy and Evi Quaid – think of it like Dog the Bounty Hunter but from the other side of the looking glass.

IN Hollywood you can recover from anything – even TV!

Still you can’t count anyone out. About 5 years or so ago Robert Downey Jr was considered a done deal. Like many troubled performers of today, Downey’s then substance issues left him unreliable and unemployable. This even though the talented actor had earned an Oscar nomination for his brilliant work in Chaplin. A brief stint on Alley McBeal didn’t help his creditability either; since for a former A List movie star to resort to TV is the equivalent of hitting the skids! “I sold the mansion, I asked friends for money, and God help me I even took some TV work!” – “Oh my! I had no idea that things were that bad!” Yet that was back in the days when Tom Cruise was the #1 action hero and Mel Gibson was Hollywood’s most beloved leading man. A lot can change in a relatively short time!

‘Burned, goddamned wonga-wonga’

Some times things don’t change in any time. In fact the remain more the same than ever and yet things turn out OK (a thought on tonight’s American elections?). This would be the case with Charlie Sheen. Now Sheen has had so many brushes with serious trouble that it’s a wonder how he managed to stay off of the Starwhackers’ celebrity hit lists. In fact far from being on nay hit lists Charlie is so waterproof that you’d think he made a deal with darkness or something.

bad trips and strange bedfellows

Charlie has had a long history of booze, pills, hookers loose women of ill fame, and brushes with the law. His split with ex Denise Richards was one of the ugliest that Hollywood had seen, and it’s seen some doozies! They have since made up but now Charlie has gone on to divorce his current Brooke Mueller. IN fact Charlie had violated his probation from a previous incident with Mueller (The Christmas Day Knife Fight) – with 8 days left – during his current misadventure.

laughing all the way to the nut house

That misadventure occurred while Sheen was out for a date with his ex and the two kids. Being Charlie Sheen he invited a hooker/porn star to meet him during this family time. Not that Charlie let the worlds collide in some seamy mess. He took the hooker to the Plaza Hotel for some fun time. Fun time included booze, drugs, a flip out, $7000 in damage to the hotel room, a trip in a police car, and a detention in a psych ward. Oh yeah, and he also violated his probation with 8 days left on the clock – as previously mentioned!

So you’d think that Charlie’s goose was nuked by now. Well if that’s what you’re thinking then you can stop. Charlie is out of the nut house, complete with supportive words of confidence from Denise RichardsCharlie’s one in a million, who makes 20 million a year!” What’s more he’s back on the set of his hit TV series Two and a Half Men!

winning the numbers game

Now if that sounds amazing then just stop to think about it. Last week, when Charlie’s personal life went into full tilt, his TV show registered a 13. 6 million viewers, which is an increase of 7% in that very important 18-49 male demographic! What does that statistical gobbledygook mean in plain English? Last year it meant $155.1 million in ad revenue for CBS, and it also made Charlie Sheen the highest paid actor on TV.

Charlie has standards “I’m no Andy Dick!”

So as long as Charlie can keep the number up he can flip out as much as he likes. Just as long as no one gets hurt. Or if anyone does get hurt that they were asking for it. The industry does have standards, in a Dexter sort of way. I just hope that Randy & Evi Quaid can live with that. If they can then they might have a professional future. If they can really get with it then they could have a professional future well after their personal future runs out! That’s fame for ya baby!

BTW anyone really can make a come back in Hollywood. Remember when Lynda Carter did Wonder Woman back in the 70’s? Well not only did Lynda make a tremendous comeback from alcoholism and scandal (her husband was implicated in the BCCI banking scandal back in the 80-‘s along with his law partner Clark Clifford. Some of you might have heard of that guy but to brief the rest, he was the guy who ran the Democratic Party back in the days when Sen Joseph Kennedy used to call him “sir”), but Wonder Woman is poised to make a come back too.

Over 30 years since a live action Wonder Woman series first came to TV producer David E Kelley – creator of Ally McBeal (Calista Flockhart owes him so much; she wouldn’t have Harrison Ford without him!) plans to bring the comic book warrior princess back tot he small screen. He announced the intention a few months back. Now there’s even a name associated with the part – Tanit Pheoenix. She’s a South African model that isn’t half bad looking, but no Wonder Woman. Never mind, the rumours help build interest in the project. While it gains more and more support Kelley can go on to find some one better suited to the part, like Julia Voth!


Ring out those solstice bells – Hollywood style!

Happy Equinox Mother Earth! – PETA now officially as irrelevant as The Celebrity Roast!

There has been another occurrence of PETA. The controversial organization, which seems more interested in PR stunts and fund raising than offering genuine assistance to animals or the environment, showed that it was still relevant despite Lady Gaga’s meaty pro gay statements. BTW Lady Gaga also recently wore a meat dress, though some of the more timid members of Gaga’s entourage are now insisting that the dress was tofu – of the mock chicken variety. Gaga has stuck to her guns on this, insisting that she hasn’t tasted like chicken, mock or otherwise, in years.

it’s a jungle out here!

Anyway the usual array of Hollywood activists and agitators were out en masse and in force to rally round the cause by showing their commitment to making the world a better place. Pamela Anderson was there, of course. Anderson looks in dire need of artificial preservatives, or something to off set he effects of 20 years of drinking, drugging, partying, taking rides from strangers, and general Jerri Blanking around. She also spouted a bunch of platitudes which were a mish mash of other platitudes she has aired in public from time to time “Cruelty is bad, unless it’s show business related“, “Eating animals is bad, stick to eating people cause people are animals too“, and “Kid Rock had a really small dick!” While she may not have been sincere, or even coherent, she did sound as enthusiastic as a cheerleader midway through a pep rally – which is as much as you can expect from any pro celeb. Why do I get the impression that if some scientist found out how to turn baby seal blubber into facial filler no seal pup would be safe from her?

cruel to be kind? Take that, Dexter!

Dave Navarro was there and gave his 2 cents worth. “People who wear fur should be skinned and eaten!” That’s the trouble with the Hollywood folk, they’ll grab at any excuse for cannibalism, and shitty shitty scat play! Giving Dave the benefit of the doubt, perhaps he assumes that cannibalism would be some kind of fur deterrent, like the death penalty is for murder, which he’s no doubt against, the death penalty I mean. He already sounds pretty pro murder, as long as it’s in a worthwhile, ecologically conscious, and politically correct cause. Just like Alec Balwin when he appeared on Latenight and asked the American Public to rise up and slaughter the pro impeachment factions of the House & Senate back in the Bull Clinton era. Then again maybe Dave just got confused about the concept of a dude ranch! Navarro’s strictly a free range celebrity!

more or less

Speaking of sound and fury Baldwin was there to voice his support for the cause. Baldwin doesn’t look like he missed too many meals, and I’m sure he hasn’t been bulking up on tofu. Incidentally Alec was the one recorded calling his daughter Ireland an ignorant little pig during a now infamous telephone message. So basically his PETA support puts that in perspective. He wasn’t insulting his daughter, but expressing his love buy comparing her to one of Mother Nature’s blessed little creatures. In fact during that call it sounded like he loved her so much that she was becoming an endangered species. Anyway Alec got off the hook for that when it became clear that his wife Kim Bassigner, leaked the tape to get at him – there by proving that she loved her daughter even more, or less, than he does!

celebs have a beef with fur;&

where’s the beef?

I love how most of these characters look too doped up and jaded to even muster the wide eyed sincerity of some one to whom the idea had just occurred. “Well animals you know, that’s bad. We’ve gotta do something about that, the situation I mean, not the animals. It’s gotta be stopped.” In other words this was an opportunity to be seen and heard while gaining cred in connection with a worthwhile cause. “Celebrities like to look like they care about stuff,” as Sting said on an episode of the Simpsons (on an interesting aside and Internet acquaintance of mine told me about how Sting had lectured at their high school on the rain forest. Sting seemed sincere to the point that my friend was genuinely moved. About a week later friend goes to a Police concert. Friend gets back stage, meets Sting again and asks “Hows the rain forest doing?” Sting replies “How the fuck should I know?“). They delivered the message with the thoughtfulness and clarity of a Sarah Palin, too (no wonder Palin is the first ‘celebrity politician’ and hated by celebrities harboring political ambitions. We hate most in others what in them is most like ourselves. So a politician harboring celebrity aspirations is just too much to take!). Fortunately no mischievous types were there, to ask them whether or not they were concerned that their pro PETA stance might be interpreted as anti gay in light of Lady Gaga’s recent commentary. Then again there wasn’t much chance of that, since no one really relevant goes to PETA anymore, not even PINK!

“Save the Image” & Hollywood Humane Society, otherwise known as the retirement fund for aging pop cultural icons

Now I’m not criticizing celebs for being phony, superficial, narcissistic, and insincere in there political support – no wait that’s exactly what I’m doing. That kind of involvement cheapens even a worthwhile cause, to say nothing of bull shit organizations like PETA (PETA reputedly euthanizes a greater percentage of animals turned over to it’s care than the curiously named Humane Society. It’s something like 98%. In fact PETA workers have stood trial incidents involving the disposal of bags of euthanized dogs & cats in garbage dumpsters. PETA’s response was something to the effect of “We’re not about saving individual dogs and cats but about raising awareness of the issue“. Then they went on to announce the release of George Clooney flavoured tofu. They didn’t actually release the tofu. It seemed more like an excuse for a news conference. Perhaps there just wasn’t enough demand for Clooney flavoured food.). So it raises the question “Couldn’t their energy be better directed towards worthy goals?“, like keeping gays off of the streets by getting them into the military.


Lily Allen Hates Simon Cowell

and she has some more complaints

The last time we heard from Lily Allen she was threatening to retire from the music business – so much for promises. She was also blaming the Internet for ruining the music industry. She made known in a number of on line rants that she believed that free on line music downloading was preventing artists – such as herself – from earning a living off of their own music. The reason artists don’t make money from their own music is because recording companies eat up the profits in dubious production costs. That’s why most major acts, including the Rolling Stones – earn their bread & butter on the concert circuit. It’s also why many bootleg recordings come from the artists themselves.

Lily might shoot from the lip, but she is capable of reassessing her opinions. For one thing she has finally realized the the Internet isn’t her enemy. Lily has come out in another online rant and announced that she knows who’s really responsible for the current state of the music industry – Simon Cowell. For one thing Lily thinks that Cowell has shifted the emphasis in the industry away from smart and original indie acts, or even performers like herself; and shifted towards amateurs doing karaoke style covers.

Allen has taken to twitter, and other electronic media previously believed to be the ruination of popular music as she’s come to know and despise it – to publicly attack Cowell. For instance Lily tweeted “X factor – FAIL. Too set up/scripted in my humble opinion. I don’t know how Simon Cowell has managed to get away with essentially copywriting (sic) the talent contest. It’s beyond me, really.” She also fielded questions from fans. In response to one the tweeted “It’s s–t. FACT! It’s everything that I detest about modern western culture. Cowell is the only one who really benefits. People like you EAT IT UP.

So what has gotten into Allen? Well her behavior is no more erratic and volatile than usual. However this might be something she picked up second hand from some one else. For one think Mick Hucknell expressed pretty much the same opinion about a year or so ago. In a very public interview Hucknell basically described Cowell as the JR Ewing (kids get your parents to explain to you who JR Ewing is – but in the meantime think George W Bush). So perhaps Allen thought that she could get herself some credit for being a thoughtful person by recycling previously expressed ideas (I do it daily here – though I’ve never gotten credit for thoughtfulness. 4 out 5 Tibetan Buddhists have described Wondertrash as mindless tripe, and warned the faithful that the time spent on this site is something that they’ll never get back. Then again that’s the nature of time and they shouldn’t need to be reminded of that!). Goodness knows that Lily needs some help formulating ideas, as she no doubt does with writing her own music.

Now some people speculate that Allen has an ulterior motive for her Cowell bashing. For one thing people claim she’s resentful about not being asked on X Factor as one of their celebrity judges. For another some insist she’s jealous about celebrity enemies like Cheryl Cole being asked on. Allen is aware of this, and has addressed the issue in her usual calm & considered manner. Allen says, and I quote (hence the inclusion of quotation marks around Ms Allen’s statements) “I’d rather actually eat my own crap, than sit next to any of those goons. Except Cheryl, obvs (obviously). I’ve better things to do with my time than feed the nation with the notion that doing cover versions will sort your life out.” I’m glad she added the “actually” into that statement though I’m not sure what it proves, unless she was considering “virtually” eating her own crap and then decided that she actually felt more strongly about the issue.

Now Lily was never one to mince words, or ever leave anyone in doubt about what she really thinks. For instance in regards to the above mention Cole, Lily once said that the singer’s husband was “horrendous“. She also described Cole’s bandmate Nicola Roberts as”the ugly one in the group“. Of course that was said during a hi profile word wars between the dueling divas. If you’re a regular Wondertrash reader then you know that a lot of shit gets said online.

So what does that say about Lily Allen. Well for one thing she knows how to get attention by shooting off her big fat mouth. She’s like Megan Fox in that way; except much more obnoxious and a lot less entertaining. Of course it doesn’t take a rocket scientist, or even a Tara Reid, to realize that if you publicly bash Cowell you’re gonna get some easy media attention. He is kind of Mr Entertainment these days.

That leads to another theory as too why Allen is shooting off her big ignorant mouth in again. She must have some new project coming out, and needs to attract the spotlight in her direction. If that’s true then the bad news is that the rumors about her leaving show business were exaggerated. That story had to be too good to be true. Besides, Allen isn’t actually qualified, or even competent, to do anything else with herself (and that includes tweeting without gorss spelling and grammatical errors). Still the cheap grandstanding is unbecoming. Lily should try to put the issue in proportion – it’s not Simon Cowell’s fault is the public finds 70’s & 80’s amateur covers more interesting than anything she does. In fact maybe Cowell could come up with e few pointers for Allen to sharpen up her already tiresome routine.

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