Paris Hilton says gays are "disgusting"

Paris Hilton recently got recorded describing homosexuals in less than flattering terms. In fact she describes them in terms that other people usually use to describe her! You can hear for yourself by playing the video below, & after turning down the Alex Jones audio player above.

Some people have pointed out that Paris is probably not the person to talk about sexual promiscuity, or diseases either, if the Valtrex rumours are true. Guess Mitt Romney glad he didn’t say anything like that!

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Paris Hilton Techno Track "Drunk Text" VIDEO

“It’s a hot mess of misspelled obscenities, body parts, and run-on questions.”

There’s something new from Paris Hilton – a spoken word techno track called “Drunk Text“.

“My mouth kept pouring desperate clauses of random intent.”

This could be only the beginning cause Paris plans to release a full length album later!

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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Demi Moore Going to be in Rehab for a While

It’s been a rough time for Demi Moore. Her marriage to 70’s Show hottie Ashton Kutcher went down the tubes. So while the Kutch went off to South America and surfed in the streets Demi got herself into a damsel in distress type situation. Actually she had some drug related trouble. That lead to some tabloid headlines and time in rehab.

Reports are that Demi is doing great in rehab – it’s surprising when rehab actually works! She was in one of those places that failed Lindsay Lohan at least once, unless it was Mischa Barton, Britney Spears, or Paris Hilton, or Nicole Richie or one of the oodles of other celebs who had to do some sober time. It’s getting hard to keep track. Dems is back on the straight and narrow but is in no huirry to leave cause she’s serious about her sobriety. Here’s the latest update on that!
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"Catwoman, an alien and a pirate"

What would Wondertrash be without a daily dose of celebrity superhero madness? Fortunately or not today is not the day when you have to answer that question, cause there’s superhero madness on tap! It seems that very recently – a that means last night – there was an incident outside the Hollywood Kodak theater that had everything going for it except possibly a sequel. The incident involved celebrity lookalikes, and even a costumed crusader!

It seems that on the night in question a group of street performers were out and doing there thing – which involved dressing up like the famous and iconic. There was an Ozzy Osbourne impersonator, and Jack Sparrow wannabe, and even a Catwoman. Somewhere along the line things took a weird turn. According to reports some drinking started and that’s when Catwoman’s claws came out.

Catwoman got riled up and pepper sprayed Capt Jack, along with Ozzy, and another performer dressed as an alien. Then – true to her criminal nature – the felonious feline of comic book infamy fled the scene. While police were busy trying to find everyone involved – and since no arrests have yet been made we can assume that they’re searching with out the aid of Batman – NBC4 cracked the case by getting an exclusive interview with Catwoman. Catwoman explained that she let her fellow performers have it cause they’d been drinking all day and were getting obnoxious. Erotica Villainess’s story was confirmed by a Willy Wonka impersonator.

Now here’s some footage of the weirdness!

Anne Hathaway is skin tight tonight!

Speaking of Catwoman here’s Anne Hathaway debuting her new skin tight cat suit! BTW she hasn’t pepper sprayed anyone that we know of – but she did give a Dark Knight stunt man a black eye in a fight scene. Then she gave him a silver commemorative pen.

While Dreamboat Annie is a knockout she seems more of a Hawkgirl than a Catwoman.

Down around the Kodak Theater celebrity impersonator street performers must’ve been getting passe. However if they keep up with the reality TV antics they just might boost their business – assuming that their business is attracting attention from passing gawkers! If they keep it up they might even be on the fast track to super hero rehab! As for you non professionals out there – remember that it doesn’t pay to mess with a chick in a cat suit (unless she’s that poor pathetic Erin Esurance who’s more or less out of work now and may even be resorting to porno!) – not even at Comic-con!

Celebrity Astrology – if you have a birthday this month then you have at least one thing in common with Sarah Palin and Paris Hilton (and I can’t wait for their eventual and inevitable reality TV show together, just as soon as they can decide which one is gonna run as VP candidate and which will take the lead)! Just don’t overdo the Aquarius connection cause one thing in common with those two might be more than enough!

PS. As mentioned former cartoon vixen Erin Esurance is in a sorry state. Once upon a time she was the hottest thing in online car insurance. There were even talks of spy girl spin offs. That was a while back. Since then she’s been sidelined and out of work. The long dry spell may be starting to get to the once indefatigable super heroine too, as her latest tweets sound kinda desperate, with mentions of insanity creeping in.

That rumored part time security guard gig really seems to have broken her spirit! Stay strong Erin, and stay out of rehab!

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A trash flash from the past

the flashy and the trashy

Anne Heche at the 1997 Emmy Awards (cropped)Image via Wikipedia

In life there’s trashy and there’s toxic. Trashy can be campy good fun, like Paris Hilton; while toxic can be an accident waiting to happen, like Anne Heche. Heche started her career as a soap opera actress back on Another World. She played twins. Since she played both roles the question of which one was evil was moot. Anne was meant for higher things that daytime TV and she soon moved up in the world, though her life was to continue to be an over the top soap opera.
Looking good and going places
Anne’s a good looking chick and that can take you places in Hollywood. Especially if you don’t mind screwing around to get on in the world. In that respect Heche was as game as Sienna Miller (and Sienna’s had more riders than a carousel pony – whether or not it’s true that what goes up comes down, who ever said what goes around comes around must’ve been thinking of Sienna – she’s been around more than most painted carousel ponies). So she soon made a lot of influential new friends. Friends like Steve Martin. He met Heche when his marriage was either on the rocks, or through. Either way Heche didn’t do that relationship any good.
Hot air and both sides of clouds
Martin did her some good. He was a very successful comedy film actor at the time. So he was helpful in getting Heche some of those coveted movie roles. When she wasn’t trying out for film work she and Martin took hot air balloon rides together – which they described as ‘funner than fun’. When she wasn’t movin’ on up via hot air balloon, she & Martin shopped for dream homes that they could share. In this case house shopping with Heche had about the same relationship mojo as getting matching his and hers tattoos. As with many of Heche’s relationships, the joy ride was over before the car got out of the drive way.
up up and away
Anne wouldn’t be lonesome for long. She managed to get Ellen DeGeneres’ attention. No one is quite sure how this happened, though some think Ellen might have suffered some kind of head injury just prior to the ill fated fling. The unofficial version is that Ellen had noticed Anne about town and put the word out that she found Heche highly desirable. Heche wasn’t lesbian, but was willing to learn. Especially if there were major career perks involved. Since Ellen was kind of a bog deal in TV sit coms at the time, career perks were kind of a given. When the two met at a Hollywood wing ding, Anne turned on the charm. Before you knew it Heche had the bit between her teeth and was away to the races faster than you could say “Tallyho!”
teaser and the firecat
While Anne and Ellen set up together as high profile celebrity lesbians Stevo was left to nurse his wounds. He kind of felt ill done by in the whole Heche affair. He got some of it out of his system by writing Bowfinger. The Heather Graham character was supposedly based on Heche (I say supposedly because Martin himself may have mentioned that in a few interviews). If Stevo was marked down as bitter it was only because everyone was busy celebrating Heche and DeGeneres’ daring new love! Heche hadn’t completely forgotten about Martin though. In an ‘insult to injury’ move, she did talk Ellen into buying the dream home Martin had picked out for her.

Happily ever after – please make it stop!
Everything was now set for a happily ever after type scenario. There was only one problem; one of the players in the piece was Anne Heche. As soon as the love birds had settled into nest things took a nasty turn. Ellen lost her sit com. That led to a year long bout of unemployment and depression. In show business extended periods of unemployment can be trouble; since if you haven’t really made it, it could mean that you might get left behind and never work again.
unsinkable Annie
That left Ellen moping around the love nest while Anne grew ever more impatient. Anne had hoped hot gay sex would open every door in Hollywood to her. She hadn’t really signed on to give moral support to a unemployed middle aged lesbian. Never one to go down with the ship Anne began looking for the rat’s way out.
“I’m like a gay man trapped in a hot chick’s bod!”
She had to be careful. Some people had questioned her commitment to alternative lifestyles. Basically they were saying that Anne, never lesbian before, had hooked into DeGeneres as some kind of meal ticket/free pass into Hollywood. If she dropped Ellen like a hot potato then she’d come off as an opportunist. That’s something no serious opportunist would dare do. So she started floating stories that Ellen’s general lack of motivation was unattractive. That left Anne free to rediscover her heterosexuality.
strangers on candy
While getting reacquainted with the joys of cock, Anne also developed an interest in automatic writing and a fondness for meth amphetamine. That lead to the most colourful period of her life. She apparently spent days getting high and writing out messages from her higher power. That gave her some thing to do since her dance card was empty. Dropping DeGeneres when the chips were down made it clear what she was about. Since she’d left so many pissed on off people in her wake no one was volunteering to open more doors for her.
filling free time with drugs & gibberish
So, as some celebs do with extra free time to fill, she continued working on herself. Basically she was taking more drugs and writing more gibberish. She discovered, by way of the powerful meth auto writing combo that she was a space alien named Celestia and on a secret mission to bring love to Planet Earth. When the cops finally caught up with her she was wandering around a field naked as a jay bird and waiting for the mother ship to beam her up. Public nudity in the cause of a better world seldom works out (unless the audience is on acid – otherwise they don’t get it). Giving her the benefit of the doubt maybe she was trying to find her way back to Another World. At least things stopped before Heche went to far and discovered the kaballah. It was a great day to be Ellen DeGeneres though.
North. To Alaska
Since then it’s been touch and go for Heche. She married a camera man named Cody Lafoon, and had a son named Homer. Homer would soon be the object of a bitter custody battle as Heche and Lafoon went their separate ways. Heche also had a brief TV series called Men In Trees. It was set in Alaska, now known as Sarahland; and it didn’t work out. Things did work out better for Ellen. With Heche out of the way DeGeneres got her mojo back. She also got back on TV. Right now she’s about the biggest deal on daytime TV. With Oprah Winfrey looking about for new worlds to conquer that makes Heche girl most likely to fill the void.
time to adjust your set
Things sure did improve with Anne out of the picture. Hopefully Ellen can chalk the whole sad business up to experience, learn from it, and move on. I’m not saying that Heche is toxic. That’s for readers to infer; and let’s face it, it would be a hard inference to avoid. It just seems like a strange coincidence that things go sour when ever she’s involved. Maybe if she can work on the allegedly toxicity, then she could one day find her way back to an entertainment medium. She might just be trashy enough for reality TV!

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‘The World According to Paris’

Paris sez: Fame is like sex, you’ll never be the same
sex sells, crime pays, but not without regrets

Paris Hilton used to be a somewhat respectable ex Catholic school girl (she went to the same exclusive religious prep as Lady Gaga – have they got something to answer for!) with a pedigree and a rich Greek boyfriend. Then her sex tape came out – leaked by her ‘co star Rick Salomon back in 2003 (though it seems like yesterday)and after that the rest is history. Her boyfriend dumped the hot tamale like a hot potato because as he said, his Greek parents said that the sex girl was out. Her mother wasn’t to pleased either. Even though Kathy had been an aspiring actress in her day, and even appeared on an episode of the Rockford Files – unless that was Paris’ actress aunt & Kathy’s sister; when she heard about her daughter getting publicly exposed she broke down in tears. It didn’t do much for Paris state of mind either; she didn’t leave the house for three months and when she did it was to go to therapy!

gossip’s golden girl

Sometimes when life hands you lemon the best you can do is make lemonade. So Paris rode to the occasion, and then she rode the occasion for all it was worth. She not only cashed in on celebrity but quickly began to ‘market her brand’. Currently she’s managing 17 of those brands, which constitute what Piers Morgan in the above video called her empire (he told Tyra Banks she had one of those too, so I think it’s what the old bugger says to all the young women). Although Paris won’t talk money (‘ask me about something that doesn’t matter, like religion or politics‘), she does go onto say that she’s really proud about what she’s accomplished. She’s build up an image based empire build on fun and sexiness.

“the most embarrassing, humiliating thing”

Kim Kardashian have tried to use the sex tape tactic as a short cut to lucrative reality TV success. If Sarah Palin releases one in prep to her presidential run in 2012 you’ll know that the idea has not only caught ion but gone too far!). In fact Paris went on to address the whole issue in her Piers Morgan interview, and here’s a brief excerpt of what she had to say:

“This is not what I planned. I didn’t want to be known as that. “And now when people look at me they think that I’m something I’m not just because of one incident one night with someone who I was in love with.

“People assume ‘Oh, she’s a slut’ because of one thing that happened to me and it’s hard because I’ll have to live with that for the rest of my life and explain it to my children.

“And it’s something that’s changed my life forever and I’ll never be able to erase it.”

opportunity’s knockers!

Nowadays gals get plastic surgery just so they’ll be fit for their sex tape when opportunity knocks. So Paris has set something in motion, which is perhaps something else that she might feel ‘not proud of’. However like she says it’s not what she planned on. She kinda had it thrust upon her, so to speak. Now it’s something that she can’t take back. So fame and success are a little like getting screwed, only out in public where everyone can see! That’s an interesting little analogy that Paris has highlighted for our attention! So the moral of this cautionary tale might well be that if fame is like getting fucked then just say “no”, or at least wait a little while, until you’re a little older and better prepared to handle it – no matter how bad you want it now or how good an idea it seems before you know better!

BTW have you ever wondered what godless rituals celebrities practice in their spare time, what the government doesn’t want you to know about Roswell, or whether you might unknowingly be the victim of mind control (hint: if you have a tattoo then you might be)? Then head on over to our sister blog, Area 51! It’s the little blog that runs on tinfoil and solvent fumes!


Paris Hilton prosecutor busted in coke deal Hilton is a gal who gets in and out of trouble. Like Lindsay Lohan she usually gets away with it. Usually it’s because she always lands on her feet. Sometimes one of her 9 lives comes in handy. Then there are those other occasions when her deal with darkness must be responsible. Like lately.

Paris has a fondness for the kind of party favours that you can’t get at your local 5 & dime variety store – not unless there’s a twitchy homeless guy standing right outside the door. These are the kind of party favours that can get you in a bit of trouble with the law. Trouble is what Paris got when she got nabbed with a significant amount of cocaine in a purse she later claimed wasn’t hers – even though it had all her ID in it. Naturally Paris had to go off for another one of those smashing mugshots of hers. She was then set free to continue with her own special brand of celebrity mayhem!

As usual when Ms. Hilton is involved things can take strange and unexpected turns. Like in this case. Paris was tried for her hard partying ways by a Las Vegas prosecutor named David Charles Schubert, 47. In fact he’s more than a prosecutor – he’s a chief deputy DA. He’s no stranger to publicity either since he also threw the book at Bruno Mars over his cocaine related misdoings. So he’s had some previous experience with drug busts and the kind of bad PR they can bring. No previous experience could’ve prepared him for what was about to happen – though he really should’ve known.

Seems that Dave was out and about, on the street as it were, when he ran into an old acquaintance. Never one to breeze past one of the little people Dave stopped to pass the time of day. One thing lead to another and pretty soon the chief deputy DA was making a drug deal. By drug deal I mean that the dude was buying crack.

Now there’s no shame in that. Chief Deputy DA is a rough job high on demands and with tons of pressure. You’re only as good as your last win because those hungry jaws poised just above you on the food chain are expecting results and not excuses. So sometimes having something that gives you a little added edge – like Popeye with his spinach – makes everyone happy. Everyone except for the poor buggers who get sent to the klink!

It’s a victimless crime and if no body sees it then no body gets mad. However in this case the aforementioned David Charles Schubert made a whopper of a mistake – he did let some one see him do it. The person who saw this dirty little deed go down was probably the worst person in the world to be standing near by when you’re buying dope off of a street dealer – and that’s and undercover cop! According to the Las Vegas Review Journal

Schubert was arrested by a Las Vegas police patrol officer about 4:51 p.m. near Desert Inn Road and Maryland Parkway.

The patrol officer saw what he thought was a drug transaction and stopped Schubert’s vehicle near Sierra Vista Drive and Cambridge Street, police said.

The result was that Schubert was whisked off to the very same facility that Hilton and Mars were taken to, and for much the same treatment: finger printing, mugshot, and I assume strip search followed by anal cavity exam. Officers of the court need to be held to higher standards so we don’t want anyone thinking he got off easy by slipping something up his sleeve, or up anything else!

So far Schubert is being cooperative – a really aggressive anal cavity exam will to that to you. However that attitude is a little after that fact. Since he got caught red – or white -handed, the prosecutors are going at him. His boss DA David Roger is particularly disappointed. He expressed his disapproval in the following terms:

“It’s disheartening to know the individual who I assigned to prosecute high-level drug cases is allegedly using rock cocaine. His future is bleak with the district attorney’s office.”

I haven’t heard such strong language since the last time I brought home a report card! The fact that Schubert was named to a high level Las Vegas anti drug task force probably heightens the disappointment. No one wants to think about a fox guarding the hen house scenario!

Not everyone is appalled and disgusted with this so called law enforcement officials sleazy shenanigans. Schubert’s erstwhile adversary – the Red Baron to his Snoopy – has spoken out in support of the disgraced, and by now tweaking like crazy, prosecutor. David Chesnoff is a hi profile Vegas attorney who’s crossed words with Schubert in both the Hilton and Mars cases. Chesnoff had this to say about his fallen adversary!

“I’m a big believer in the Constitution. I believe everyone is innocent until proven guilty. And I always root for the underdog. I will say this: David’s always been a real professional and always treated me with respect, so I wish him the best.”

Well there you go – trouble comes when you least suspect it and you find friends where you never thought to look. That ought’a do as a moral to this sad and sorry cautionary tale. That is unless you wanna make something out of it like – LEGALIZE DRUGS ALREADY! Then again others like a more traditional moral like “Men who live in glass house better not throw rocks – even if they’re rocks of cocaine“. As for myself, I’ll go for something more common sense and nonjudgmental, like “Make sure that your own nose is clean before you go sticking it into other people’s business!. Unless you’re an entertainment blogger that is – then go for it!

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