Jessica Simpson has recently suffered a bereavement. Now I’m not talking about getting dumped by Tony Romo at an IHOP 2 hours from anywhere. This has to do with her beloved pet Maltese/’multi poo’ Daisy. Jessica recently tweeted that the pooch had been snatched away from under her eyes by a coyote. Jess then proceeded to post “missing” posters around her neighborhood. People wondered exactly what the girl with the (alleged) 160 IQ could be thinking. It’s not as if the coyote was holding Daisy for ransom. Now in fairness to Jess she didn’t offer a reward or anything, but she did post an email address. I guess she assumes that everyone in online now. If the road runner cartons are any indication, coyotes can be very tech savvy!
Well now it turns out that there’s more to the story. Seems that Daisy went missing while Jess was away for a week filming her reality TV show. Daisy was in the care of her mom Tina when things went wrong. According to the new official story Tina was minding the dog, and her own, out in her yard. Daisy spotted a squirrel and was off like a shot, around the back of the house and up the hill. Suddenly, and without warning, a dastardly varmint pops out from behind a tree and carries the hapless pooch away. So Daisy’s had one more dinner date then Jess has recently. The news just doesn’t get better for her does it? Jess nobly took the blame to spare her mother from taking the heat.
It was the least Jess could do. Her mother did spare Jess by keeping the news quiet until Jess got home. She didn’t want Jess to have a meltdown on the set (she is the family’s No 1 money maker). Meltdown is exactly what Jess did have when she got home and found out – she collapsed. So mom’s fears were justified. At least this hasn’t come to a 5150 hold!
Now some people may wonder why the family didn’t break it to her gently, since they had already taken the trouble of concealing the news for a week. Give them some credit. At least they didn’t concoct some sit com type scheme, and replace the dog with a look alike substitute. You can just imagine how that might’ve gone down. “Jessica, you know how things seems strange and unfamiliar when you’ve been away for a while – and on an unrelated note here’s your beloved pet dog Daisy!” The world doesn’t need Jessica Simpson tweeting about her dog being an impostor while gossip columnists speculate about whether she’s developing the cutest case of paranoid schizophrenia ever! On the other hand, if she can’t tell the difference between chicken and tuna, what are the chances that she would’ve caught on?
September 19, 2009
Categories: meltdowns, pets . . Author: AgentOrange . Comments: Leave a comment