A meme is born

Every so often an idea catches on and goes viral. When it does it’s called a meme, and it’s usually a picture or gif, maybe even a short video clip like Keyboard Cat. The latest such meme involves Matrix actor Keanu Reeves.

Like many successful celebrities Keanu’s had a rough life. His long term girlfriend drove her car off a cliff while under the influence of cocaine. This happened shortly after their child was delivered still born (Marylin Manson was implicated in the death of Keanu’s girlfriend since he is believed to have been the one to supply her with the cocaine. According to some reports he then either sent her home in her car, or called her to come back to his place after she’d successfully made it home.). That’s a terrible blow but it didn’t stop Keanu from being one of the nicest guys in the business. He bought crew members on the Matrix their own motor bike, for one thing. Still those kind of tragedies have to leave a mark.

Whether or not they left an imprint, the hunky actor has been seen looking sad quite a bit lately. The recent pictures of Keanu on his birthday, shown wandering the streets of New York City looking lost and disheveled, and stopping for a solitary snack of a cupcake, made therounds of the Internet. Since Reeves is one of the genuinely best liked of Hollywood actors, the actor’s apparent angst made his many fans uncomfortable. As often happened they responded to the discomfort with black humour. By black humour I mean that a whole bunch of “Sad Kenau” photmanips began showing up on message boards. Here are a few such photomanips that popped up on the Internet’s premier celebrity gossip message board Gossiprocks:



Now all y’all can have a portable Sad Keanu!












































So what are we to make of this? Making a game out of some one’s sadness seems cruel, but it might not be personal. It might just be an attempt to understand the phenomenon by re contextualizing it: putting it in combination after combination after combination in an attempt to gain some feel or insight. It might also be an attempt to deal with our own awkwardness in the presence of that kind of low key “I’d ask ‘what’s the point is I still gave a damn” malaise (Keanu does seem surreally detached in the original photos and the copies seem to emphasize that). If we can say one thing with relative certainty, it could give birth to new and more dangerous memes, like Prancing Michael Sera or Silly Leo Dicaprio!

Incidentally this whole thing got started with an article reporting that “Sad Keanu talks to himself alone on birthday“. So that started people speculating on how rough things were for him. Now it should be pointed out that talking to yourself isn’t unusual for people in that profession. Even some of the most grounded Hollywood actors have been known to have an ‘off moment’, like this!

wondertrash

Coming This Week to the National Enquirer

Food for though from the next National Enquirer. Looks like the celebrity set are either too fat or too thin. Most are too thin, like Tara Reid. She down to a walking skeletal 95 pounds. Of course Tara is ona liquid diet. That diet is kind of harsh and can mess up the intestines. So you’re still screwed even if you go back on solids. The rest, like Mary-Kate Olson, and Nicole Richie are old news, until we get to Elin Nordgrin – the former Ms. Tiger. She’s down to 110 pounds. Even though 110 is bloated and super-sized within the celeb set, this could indicate a serious problem if she’s lost a lot of weight suddenly, say following the divorce.


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BTW the “Guess who” 255 and gaining is of course Whitney Houston. Her metabolism has been screwed up from years of cocaine abuse. Now, without the artificial outside stimulants, her system has become lethargic. Everything gets stored instead of burned. Something similar, to a lesser degree, happened to model and Species actress Natasha Henstridge.

Though born in Springdale, Newfoundland and raised in Fort McMurray Alberta (Ft Mac is one of Newfoundland’s largest cities!), by 15 she was living in Paris and working as a high end fashion model. In order to keep her end high The Tash, by her own admission, used a lot of diet aids that are no longer on the market. She explained that at the time she didn’t see it as cheating; they gave her the energy to exercise more (just like steroids do to pro baseballers!).

Anyway after having kids Natasha decided it was time to clean up. So she went stimulant free. The result was that she put on about 10 pounds. Not a lot on a 5’11” woman with her frame. Still it was enough for her to speak about it on TV. Henstridge said that now the 10 or 15 won’t budge. So years of diet pill abuse may have thrown her metabolism slightly off kilter. It’s not enough to keep Henstridge out of a bikini down in Malibu, and no one in Malibu is complaining about the view!

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Besides, in Natasha’s defense, even highly active persons can have an occasional weight issue.

https://mocksure.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/big_wonder_woman_by_wieringo.jpg?w=237

wondertrash

Jessica Alba gets gagged for Machete

Fit to be tied, bound to be gagged

That seems to happen to Jessica Alba from time to time. By time to time I mean every other film. If you go over Ms Alba’s body of work you’ll find that Jessie winds up bound, gagged, and flexing her big lips like a horse at the bridle in most of the flicks that she does. So does Jessica Alba have a bondage fetish?

The answer is yes and it was her work on Flipper, down in Australia in her early teens, that freaked her up. That show required Ms Alba to be tied up two or three times a season. Bondage was a sort of reoccurring plot device on the show (and probably warped 1000’s of developnig adolescent libidos). Anyway the experoence of being tied up with good looking young actors about her own age must’ve gotten to the young woman. The wriggling and struggling while moaning for help in front of a cast and crew seems to have left an impression.

It was during her Flipper time that Alba was involved in a bizarre incident. She was supposedly kidnapped and missing for about 14 hours. When she was finally found she was bound and gagged in the trunk of a car. No arrest were made and Alba could give no clear description of her abductor. So it was unofficially put down to a teen age girl acting out her abduction fantasy. I say unofficially because no public mischief charges were filed against Alba for her car trunk sexy time.

These things happen to teenaged girls from time to time. Every so often a chick will be found in the trunk of a car covered in duct tape like Tutankhamun in the tomb. She gets rescued by local authorities who put out an APB on a suspect matching a sketchy description. When no one turns up the gal often fesses up, and admits that she tied herself up and locked herself in the truck for kinky sexy kicks.

Not that Alba has to resort to such stunts anymore. Now she’s a professional actress.If she wants tog et herself tied up and viewed by the world, like beef in the butcher shop window, she can just request her latest director to included some bondage scenes in her flicks. Those scenes keep showing up. Many actresses request to have them removed. That is until they pass 35, when they get more open to creepy stuff. They try harder once the bloom of youth of gone. Alba’s been trying hard for a while now.

JessicaAlba.jpg Jessica alba gagged picture by TheBondageking

If you go back over her acting gigs, you’ll find that she been bound and gagged more than any other A List actress her age. Dark Angel alone featured more tie up time than Lynda Carter’s Wonder Woman! Into the Blue featured more Alba gag-gage – that time with duct tape. She got the bondage treatment again in Sin City. In fact the only flicks where Alba hasn’t been featured chomping down on some kind of mouth restraint has been the Fantastic Four flicks. The above photo is from her latest, Machete. Oh yeah, and Alba also enjoys getting tied up for good causes in her spare time, by way of BSMD themed public service announcements!

Gagged ... Jessica Alba in controversial new Declare Yourself advert
Gagged … Jessica Alba in controversial new Declare Yourself advert

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Speaking of sexy freaks who don’t mind getting tied up, or down, here’s

Fashion’s Night Out 2010 – The Show

.

In keeping with the celebrity sex fetish theme here’s the lovely and talented Anne Hathaway getting tickle tortured.

Wasn’t that a treat? Here at wondertrash you can find more than one way to have a laugh!

wondertrash

Demi Moore hangs out on Twitter

When I say hang out I mean literally. She can get away with hanging it out cause she’s spent a fortune getting it lifted and tightened. It’s like money and fame can buy anything, even youth. Demi bought Ashton’s youth, or that’s what a lot of folk are thinking. Now with the Ashton cheating stories tearing up the tabloids, and the Twitterverse, people might start wondering whether Ashton wants a refund on that. So Demi has taken it off and then taken to Twitter to prove that she’s got nothing to prove. Just looka t the following little doozies posted up just recently.

Demi Moore Bikini Pictures From Twitter !!

Click this bar to view the full image.
Click this bar to view the full image.

So now you know what her bathroom looks like! It appears that everything is holding up. That’s good cause I hear she paid over $600 000 to get everything in that shape. She may have even racked up more PS since then, cause she’s pretty insecure about keeping Kutcher. So we can assume that Demi is well on her way to becoming a real life and literal 6 Million Dollar Woman!

Predexterous

BTW that leads to some interesting celebrity trivia. Jaime Murray got herself a lot of attention by playing crazy on Dexter! She also gets frequently confused with Scottish tennis player Jamie Murray. You can tell which is which because the “i” and the “m” are transposed. Now the origin of Jaime’s (the chick) name is interesting. Seems that her old man was a big fan of the aforementioned Bionic Woman back int he day. So much so that when his daughter came along he named her in honour of Jaime Summers. So that’s why Ms Murray’s first name is spelled the same way as the bionic TV character back in the 70’s. Old man Murray might also have been a fan of Lynda Carter and Wonder Woman, judging by the way his little girl fills out that role!

If looks could kill she really would be a mass murderer!

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Now that’s photo action you just don’t get on Twitter! Tough luck fanboys. BTW Jaime did the Wonder Woman routine on her Brit pre Dexter series called Hustle & Flow. She played a beautiful con artist working under the tutelage of master swindler Robert Vaughn (Napoleon SoloThe Man From Uncle). Anyway Bob was so impressed when he saw Ms. Murray in her Wonder Woman gear that he got on the blower to a friend of his in LA, who was working on the Wonder Woman Movie Project (now officially picking up steam) and put in a good word for Jaime. Vaughn was so convincing that Murray got flown out to LA to audition for the role! So in her predexterous days she was almost Wonder Woman!

Incidentally the many many American Murray fans will be relieved to know that Jaime didn’t play a bad con woman. She and Bob Vaughn didn’t pull any Ponzi schemes on Hustle & Flow. In fact Murray & Vaughn were good, Robin Hood type fraudsters – who cheated the money back from the Ponzi schemers and made sure it was returned to the right people. Hustle & Flow lasted about 4 years, and the episodes are all still out there – probably on the BBC site. So look them up if you can’t get enough of the fair Ms. Murray.

BTW more Murray trivia, Jaime got her graduate degree in psych, before becoming an actress. That was an accomplishment since Jaime is one of that very rare group of women suffering from what is predominantly a male disorder – dyslexia!

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For those who missed Gary Bell & The View From Space on Saturday – there were streaming issues – strap on your tin foil cap cause here’s the very latest transmission from space!

http://www.4shared.com/embed/377751266/f3eea532

wondertrash

Mischa Barton Steps Out

Mischa Barton is out and about. In fact she was recently spotted at the Larchmont Bungalow in Los Angeles to have dinner with a friend of the male persuasion. What really got attention though was Mischa eccentric and downright whimsical fashion statement. The DailyMail has described it as Alice In Wonderland. I don’t know how they explain the combat boots, ’cause that’s sheer Beverly Hillbilly!



Now here’s the answer to a question that’s been bothering celebrities, and ordinary folk, for ages, perhaps even decades! The question is “Can we change, or are we doomed to be ourselves?” The answer is that change is possible, but it’s very difficult. Even worse change involves a 5 point plan. The good news is that the plan is a series of over simplifications – you know like on Star Trek, where they’d overcome the greatest challenges by reversing the transporter beam, or linking the ship’s sensors to the universal translator. Let’s take a look at the following encouraging video about how you can become the person you’ve always wanted to be, or at least become some one new and different!

I hope that this doesn’t involve regular exercise!

http://www.viddler.com/player/e3f35c7f/

Wow – that sounds like hard work! In fact changing your personality sounds even harder than changing your diet; and you are what you eat! So maybe real change isn’t possible – apart from the kind of self sacrifice that went out with Lent, but the good news is that you can change the way you look! It’s good enough for celebrities, and 9 out of 10 cosmetic surgeons will say that it’s totally worth the money. However I’d recommend that you make this sort of life altering alteration slowly, and by stages. Start with a fabulous make over, then move on to losing weight and changing your wardrobe. Then one day, when you’re an Oprah Winfrey success story, you might be ready to go over board on the nips & tucks!

wondertrash

Mel Gibson Cheap Shot of the Day!

Speaking of cheap shots here are some upcoming from a leading source in the field! Note the lower left corner.

and as to those rumors about Bill O Reilly selling his soul to the devil…

As to the rumors about the reunion of 1990’s cult TV classic GvsE: story was that Clayton Rohner and Richards Brookes were getting back together for a 90 minute movie based on the series in which agents of light battled minions of darkness – usually working in some branch of LA’s thriving entertainment & related industries – & based on a script written by Brookes himself. The script involved main characters Chandler Smythe & Henry McNeil trying to get Bill O Reilly to renounce his Fautsian deal with Rupert Morlock, by which he became America’s most influential news anchor. I am unhappy to announce that the story is false.

I guess that explains Lady Gaga!

are Australians evil?

GvsE producers decided that an ‘evil Aussie’ story might be overkill. With Mel Gibson, the racist Michael Jackson TV tribute from an Australian variety show, etc., it’s beginning to seem as if there’s more to our friends from Downunder than “G’day Mate” & “No Worries“. Perhaps all the smiles and easy going charm are an attempt to lure us into a false sense of security & get us to lower our defenses? They do seem to be taking over lately – except for Hugh Jackman who’s left the rat race or something. So GvsE producers have decided to do an evil oil company concept instead.

Mel Gibson’s dog days of summer

What would a day th3ese days be without another Mel Gibson Freakout Tape? He’s got Christian Bale beat fuck for fuck by forty to one! With that in mind here’s another tape from a man claiming to be one of Mel’s “Aussie mates”. A warning though, parts of this tape seem to be edited!

It’s easy to mock Mel, so we do. More importantly Mel serves as a cautionary tale. At his height he was the No 1 actor in Hollywood & worth about $1 billion. Yet none of the fame & success protected him from his problems, some of which may ultimately find some of their cause within himself. He’s not the only major personality to suffer a downfall. There’s also OJ Simpson, Conrad Black, etc. Even well lied down to Earth celebs like Sandra Bullock have had a brush with potential career oblivion. Oh yeah, & there’s also this chick!

It’s as if they bigger they come the harder they fall. Remembering that might help us keep our own lives in proportion the next time we’re tempted to make something of ourselves – perhaps by losing weight or joining a neighborhood gym. Anyways here’s another cautionary tale on the pitfalls of fame, wealth, & power.

http://www.megavideo.com/v/SDML73K3b48d4bcedd696c8f9b5b2e5957162445

They were the most famous & powerful family in the world, and yet they didn’t even own a good ball point pen (which might have expedited Claudius’ histories considerably – ” A pen! A pen! My Caesar’s laurels for a good pen – one that’s refillable, easy to write with, and one who’s ink won’t run!“). Things that are mundane to you & me would be miraculous to them! Success is relative, but trouble is for real!

BTW a special farewell to regular wondertrash reader Tracy Mc. Tracy has left TO for England where she plans to pursue other opportunities/do whatever. I believe that there was some talk about joining a religious cult. Best of luck Tracy, and hopefully you can turn a few of your new Brit friends on to one of Toronto’s flakiest little blogs! Go on and spread the word – and keep reading wondertrash, the blog that always dots it’s T’s and crosses it’s eyes!


wondertrash

Amy Winehouse: Back to Black & White Strip Cartoons

Honky Tonk Woman

What’s new with Amy Winehouse? Her career as a singer is in indefinite stall. Her career as a celebrity train wreck and public spectacle is till going strong. Amy is still out and about hitting the clubs. She’s as drunk and messed up as ever. For instance Amy was out and on a tear recently when she decided to take things up a level. So what did she do? Well you heard the song “I kissed a girl”? She did!

something about Amy Winehouse is kind of gay when you think about it

10 ballsy pranks involving wondertrash that failed miserably

Life’s no bowl of cherries — it’s a black and white strip cartoon!

The photo comes courtesy of DListed. DL was so courtesous that they don’t even know that I’ve got it! By way of fair play here’s the link to that post where they’ve got plenty more disgusting pix of Amy in action! I wanr you, it’s not pretty (DListed’s ‘caption this’ postings are so disturbing this week that I’m not even gonna post the links!).


I’d say Winehouse is starting to look like Bill Wyman, but Billo never looked that rough. Let’s just say that the black and white strip cartoon of her life was drawn by Chester Gould.

The 10 commandments of wondertrash

Lest we be too hard on Amy lets remember that even super heroines can have the occasional off day!


GIFSoup

Of course in Amy’s case it’s not so much an odd off day as waiting for a ticking bomb to go off!

Lynda Carter is a bound and gagged Wonder Woman
GIFSoup

Coming soon: 10 ways wondertrash can help you get a date!

wondertrash
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