Chris Hedges: Americans Are Living a Fantasy – The Illusion of Love, Wisdom, Happiness

wondertrash in the land of milk & honey

Is the entertainment industry based on make believe? Actors play dress up, “just like tards” as Jennifer Aniston told Regis Philbin. You can off set aging by getting a plastic surgery over haul. Thier aspirational personalities set a fine example for the rest of us. However & according to Pulitzer prize winning journalist Chris Hedges, we live in a culture of make believe. Make believe has it’s inherent dangers. So let’s take a little time to consider the larger issues at work by watching the following highly informative video!

In other news Thinkprogress is reporting that Justin Bieber could get deported (by Esther Yu-Hsi Lee) because his most recent vandalism spree racked up $20 000 in damages. Anything over $400 is a felony conviction, and convicted felons can get deported. So what got into him? According to TMZ Biebs uses some heavy duty cough syrup with codeine added! So he’s become drug addled and violent, if rumours are to be believed. Just like Little Alex in A Clockwork Orange! That pack of droogs he hangs with prob ain’t helping either. Bunch of damned enablers.


Who’s gonna cut Bieber some slack? He is young. So some hi spirits are expected. Still a full onslaught egg assault on a neighbor’s house is taking it a bit far. If you’re gonna go engaging in random acts of vandalism then try doing some thing creative. Like maybe a bit of graffiti art. The thing about graffiti art is that about half the people think it brightens up urban landscapes. That includes the property owners who’s premises get tagged. Some graffiti artists even get acclaimed! Like that Dr Cyclops guy, or whoever he is, down in New York City! Start with some Che Guevara stencils, add some catchy slogans like watching the watchers, and then work up to more ambitious projects like portraits of disgraced presidents sprayed onto condemned buildings. Who knows where that could lead (possibly fine & imprisonment). There’s a fine line between trash and wonder, but you ought a know the difference.

there's a fine line between trash and wonder
Is Wonder, like love, happiness, and wisdom, wherever you find it?

BTW TMZ is doing full blanket coverage of the Bieber with the whole 9 yards – vandalism, codeine cough syrup, and cross country stripper binges! He reputedly blew about $75 000 on the stripper binge – if you remember his South American fiasco then you know he likes to follow up vandalism sprees with trips to the bordello, or in this case strip club.

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Coming Soon to the National Enquirer – Cher Sex Cult Shocker

Cher, a sex cult, & brainwashing!

It’s been awhile since we heard from Cher – however never fear because she’s back again in this week’s National Enquirer with a story that should put Diana Napolis into overdrive! According to their titillating headline the Oscar winning actress singer is involved in some kind of sex cult (is there any other kind?). This sex cult is heady stuff too. It’s not your good old fashioned friendly 60’s orgy where kids freaked out squares by experimenting with drugs and oral sex. The headline is promising the full MK Ultra trip with torture and abuse, not to mention brainwashing! Now you can’t have sex and torture without brainwashing because apparently the most direct way into any one’s head is between their legs. The NE also mentions “shocking secrets” but no word if the shock involves the usual electric cattle prods that sometimes get used in these ritual sex brainwashing cults. So this one is a “must read”!

Good Wholesome Fun & Other Figures of Speech

Now if you can’t read the Enquirer to find out about Cher’s pervy secret sex life, then at least pick it up to find out about Joe Simpson’s startling gay confession! He’s got a toyboy half his age & the former pastor’s wife has sued for divorce. So I guess he was telling the truth when he said those erotic pix he took of daughter Jessica and posted on line were just good wholesome fun! At the time people figured he was way too interested in photography & especially when his own scantily clad daughter was the subject. Now we know that Papa Joe just don’t swing that way. Plus when he referred to his daughter’s “assets” as “those suckers” it was just a colorful figure of speech! People must be so ashamed of themselves for having misjudged that situation, & jumping to the wrong conclusions! BTW Jessica might be devastated, but will probably soon get over it if she can figure out how to parlay this into a ‘gay following’ & possibly even ‘icon status’.

9 out of 10 people think OJ was guilty – they just couldn’t find those 10 for the jury

Then there’s also OJ Simpson‘s secret hit list. Now just because it’s a secret doesn’t mean that you can’t read about it in the Enquirer – cause that’s Pulitzer Prize nominated journalism for you! OJ was once one of America’s most beloved sports hero’s, but since the mysterious demise of his ex wife Nicole Brown and her friend Ron Goldman he’s become the biggest creep since Richard M Nixon!

Isn’t it possible that our client couldn’t possibly be guilty?

Now OJ was found “not guilty” in a court of law, just like Casey Anthony. That didn’t convince anyone of his innocence. Most seemed to think that the verdict was confirmation that the American Justice system was just as bad as the media said (& they say it’s almost as bad as the American Public Education System that keeps the justice system in business and the jails full – which is not the fault of the teachers, the government, or the students – so someone’s not being straight!), and that jury duty was for people too stupid to get out of it, or who had nothing better to do – 12 suckers good and true! So naturally when they ran up against OJ’s legal dream team they didn’t know what hit them. Reasonable doubt struck them between the eyes so hard that if you asked them what city they were in they probably couldn’t swear to it. “Can you be sure that you’re not asleep somewhere else and only dreaming you’re here? Then our client couldn’t have possibly done it!” Or this is how many seemed to see it.

American Gothic

By the time the trail was over everyone saw OJ as the man who got away with murder. That is until he eventually got busted for some kind of kidnapping armed hold up beef. People thought that had been a long time coming. They also saw him as some kind of mad dog throbbing with homicidal rage and waiting to go off like a ticking time bomb. Allegedly fathering a Kardashian didn’t help his public image any either. It did manage to dredge up a 90’s story into something resembling relevance. So OJ’s long awaited hit list is finally making it’s tabloid appearance. So if you’re feeling nostalgic for the days of grunge and “edgy” FOX TV comedies then you might want to check that out! The Enquirer doesn’t answer the question of  “what pool did they select that OJ jury from” – but Wondertrash might shed some light on that! Just take a look at the picture below!

after oj simpson's aquittal people were wonder from what pool of duds and rogues the jury was drawn from

they helped lionel hutz save Homer simpson from eternal damnation, even though he was as guilty as sin; but would they have been guilable enough to aquit OJ?

So read the Enquirer but remember that what you can’t find in the Enquirer you can get right here where the whole Celebrity Rogue’s Gallery is the specialty!

Coming Soon To Wondertrash – Super Hero Work Outs!

Superheroes, like celebrities, are usually unusually good looking. It’s a kind of job requirement – people look up to them so they can’t afford to look ridiculous while wearing their underwear on the outside. So that means in addition to the gifts God, or their animator, gave them like straight white teeth, chiseled features, and strong jaw lines, they’ve also got to boast buffed bods for their latex fetish wear.

As celebs can tell you fitness doesn’t come with out a price. Many times that price is a check payable to their friendly neighborhood plastic surgeon. Other times the price has a more personal cost, like effort and sacrifice. So that means diet & exercise can be essential if you wanna stay so good looking it’s criminal.

Red Kryptonite Ain’t Bull

Not surprisingly superheroes have their little beauty and fitness secrets. Batman does a particularly grueling version of Pilates down in the bat cave, when he’s not chasing the Joker of flirting with Catwoman. Spiderman has his own bizarre version of calisthenics that involves rigidly holding the same position for hours while hanging from a web. Superman’s body doesn’t respond well to exercise, which is a kind of side effect of his invulnerability. His body is a kind of immoveable force that can’t be harmed by bullets or helped by push ups (let’s face it when you’re that powerful you’ve got a hard time finding the right resistance level to work with). He has found a chemical method to keep in shape though, and has been secretly addicted to Red Kryptonite for years (It’s the real reason his marriage to Lois Lane broke up – though DC Comics will never reveal that. They’re totally invested in protecting his good guy image and afraid of him turning into another Hulk Hogan!).

wriggling around with Wonder Woman!

Many superhero health secrets are stuff ordinary people can’t use, unless you have access to Batcave, can spin you’re own webs, or have access to a reliable supply of Red Kryptonite (& be careful buying that stuff on the street because about half the time it’s mixed with meth!). The good news is that most superheroes have health and fitness regimes that are remarkably down to earth and practical. It’s stuff that anyone can do, even if they don’t have special powers and only aspire to looking good in skin tight clothes! So Wondertrash is working on a special interest article which will reveal which superheroes do what – who lifts weight, practices tai chi & yoga (hint – flexibility helps a super heroine in distress slip out of bondage situations!), who’s a vegan, and who’s full tilt Atkin’s Diet! So be prepared for some surprises!

super heros ahve many beauty and fitness secrets, like Superman's red kryptonite addiction
Amazon Yoga with Wonder Woman: a gentle yet surprisingly challenging way to stay flexible and strong plus “It helps me to stay loose in a tight spot!”

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Coming Soon from the National Enquirer


Has Angelina Jolie finally gone too far?

Next week’s National Enquirer promises to be a wild ride if the promo is any indication. For one thing Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are on the verge of divorce again. It seems like they’ve been on the verge of marriage and divorce for years now – basically ever since Angie ripped poor Jennifer Aniston‘s heart out and ruined her life. That left Poor Jen with nothing but her A List movie career to fall back on. However this time NE up’s the ante by claiming that Angie has confessed to cheating, and to hotel room hook ups. Thgis lead to a marriage counseling break down. Oh yeah and Angie also supposedly physically threatened Jen according to the cover.

Kardashians continue to make marriage a reality TV tabloid travesty?

Now it that wasn’t enough to whet your appetite there’s more trouble for the Kardashians. Apparently Mother Kris Kardashian Jenner’s marriage is destroyed by some kind of cheating scandal. Apparently some kind of afffair has been exposed! Those Kardashian women are either gonna have to stay out of divorce court or stop getting married of they want to stop provoking the public, ’cause their sleazy shenanigans are just getting obnoxious!

Is Gayle King an extraterrestrial transsexual? If she were do you think she’d admit it?

In other news the real Gayle King is exposed. Now for those hoping it might be as a terrorist, transsexual, or an extra terrestrial I’ve got bad news. The tabs are creeping towards the very out fringes of credibility, so the days of Elvis taking UFO rides and inseminating Hilary Clinton via ray beam are lamentably long gone (except in the WeeklyWorldNews which still exists online, and where Elvis and Hilary’s love trysts with Bigfoot continue!). Apparently Gayle has used Oprah Winfrey to make millions! Now there’s now word on whether this was in some legitimate way, they way ma people given their start by Oprah have made millions – like such as Dr. Phil McGraw, or whether they’re leaving something else to be inferred. The phrase “used” is kind of loaded.

Then there’s the Newt Gingrich’s wife lesbian shocker. There’s an election coming up and since the Enquirer did so well with John Edwards – much better than John Edwards did with the Enquirer – they have to keep up the cred with some semi legit news related articles. They don’t give Pulitzer Prize nominations for horoscopes and sudokus! Now there are no clues in the cover about how they get shocked by lesbians. Perhaps were chased by those pink pistol gangs that Bill O Reilly on FOX was so concerned about several years back. BOR was afraid that the gays = perhaps finally having had enough – had taken up arms. If these same pink pistol lesbians have chased down the Gingrich’s – perhaps in outrage over some extreme right wing views, and then tasered them in to literal electric shock, then O Reilly is gonna need a pace maker! Either way the corner photo shows both Gingrichs looking shocked, or at least perturbed.

With FOX as the voice of the right, why did America turn Democrat?

That rampaging lesbian story is just the kind of stuff that needs more coverage in the media. Might have something to do with the bisphenol A laden water those metrosexuals are always drinkin’!

As for what’s behind that titillating cover, there’s a couple of doozies in the works:

Whitney Houston, desperate and broke, collapsed in a shocking public breakdown and The ENQUIRER has chilling photos that show how her last-ditch bid to stay sober is falling apart. Friends fear the long-troubled songbird is back on drugs and has hit rock bottom after losing her $100 million fortune.

and:

The lives of Demi Moore‘s daughters have been ripped apart by her drug and booze hell. Busted for underage drinking last year, Tallulah, 18, is currently in therapy and telling pals that Demi’s out-of-control behavior has turned her life into “a nightmare.” Meanwhile, Rumer, 23, who has been most supportive of Demi, is now worried that she, too, is being dragged down by her mother. Scout, 20, who’s away at college, fears that her sisters are in danger, say sources. In a revealing ENQUIRER report, insiders reveal how the girls’ dad, Bruce Willis is battling to keep the family from falling apart.

People have been very concerned about Demi Moore and her family lately. Especially since Demi and the girls seem like basically nice, likeable people with some celebrity sized problems. With Demi in rehab, Tallulah in therapy, Rumer in the tabs, that leaves Scout as the level headed one! At the rate their going they’re headed straight for reality TV. So you tell me if the NE isn’t worth it’s $5? If they can add a fab summer diet and blue dot winning lotto numbers then they can count on my business at the checkout!

By the way – Wondertrash isn’t up for any Pulitzer prizes so any kind of trash is up for posting! So here’s the Wondertrash version of Lotto Numbers That Can Help You Lose Weight! It’s called How To Get Laid In 5 Easy Steps!

Now I can’t guarantee that any of that advice will get you laid, but if it helps you win the lottery then let me know!

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