Brooke Mueller checks into rehab again*306/120510+Brooke+mueller.jpgSo what’s Brooke Mueller been up to since she burst onto the scene by marrying Charlie Sheen, dropping twins, getting into a ruckus with her current ex back on Christmas – Brooke claimed Charlie pulled a knife on her, then she took it back, and then her lawyer took back her retraction – going into rehab, and then into divorce court? Well she’s not as busy as Sheen. He’s still got his hit show 2 1/2 Men; although that has slipped from No 1 to No 2 in the ratings. Charlie also went on that hotel frenzy with a porn star in NYC that got him in the media and into some kind of rehabilitation type program (he’s hired a sober companion. Now there’s a sit com right there, or even better, a reality TV show!). He hasn’t turned up in any of those NBC Dateline investigative “sting” reports where men get caught trying to meet up with teenagers that they believed they met online; but he’s been out there and showing signs of life.

Mueller has been keeping herself busy. She’s got some kind of new reality TV deal cooked up with Paris Hilton. Some might say that Paris’ standards in side kicks is slipping hard since Nicole Richie got pregnant and went legit, but then again she hasn’t exactly been overwhelmed with choices for new BFF’s lately. So you take what you can get. At least Paris hasn’t sunk down to palling around with Kate Gosselin or anything. So we’ll be getting to see more of her in a Paris Hilton type format – lucky us, and she’ll get a check to add to the money she’ll get out of Charlie. That should tide her over financially at least until she can get herself together enough to get on Dancing With The Stars. That’s where disgraced celebrities got o redeem themselves. That’s also where the money is if we can believe the stories about what Bristol Palin got paid. Considering that the young woman has no apparent talent outside of reproduction, she’s makin’ out like a bandit! That’s Bristol I mean, although it might apply equally well to Ms. Mueller.

Perhaps it was with a future on DWTS in mind that Mueller made her next move. That move was into rehab. Rehab is a harsh word (increasingly so in this day and age). Maybe that’s why a spokesperson for Ms. Mueller – in this case her mom Moira Fiore (Mueller can afford better since Charlie but why not keep it in the family?) – rephrases it as entering a “sober living facilty“. She has more spin to, and says in a statement to People Mag that “She is struggling and we are going away on a cruise so we feel better that she will be there while we are gone.” Mom’s pretty good at this PR spin thing for an amateur.

This isn’t Mueller’s 1st stint in a ‘supervised environment‘. Back after the big Christmas Day knife fight she checked into rehab as well. Seems she was even more tanked up than Charlie at that event. Then there were those Perezhilton rumors about her being a coke head who had to go into rehab, or whatever she’d call it, while pregnant. So Mueller has a history of finding it hard to cope, as well as a history of being hard to live with!

However things are looking up for Mueller & Co. She’s totally stoked about this new Paris Hilton thing. IN fact that was instruemntal into her checking in according to her spokesmom – “Paris and the other girls on the show are going to Las Vegas and Brooke did not feel she could handle it now,” Fiore told People. “She was scared. We’re all happy she will be in the facility and hope she will be better.“She got hooked up with that through her good friend Kathy Hilton, Paris’ mom. Now good friend might be a bot of overstatement. In fact I doubt that Hilton even knew who the fuck Mueller was before she hooked up with Sheen. Then again marrying into money and fame can open a lot of doors for you – in addition to the door to rehab.

The View From Space

Is Prince William the antichrist? Most people would say “No! Of course not! Now get back on your medications.” If you’re a regular listener to Gary Bell and his regular radio broadcast the View From Space then you might say “Of course! Why didn’t I think of it before!” Gary does make a compelling case: Wills mother did have the same name as a pagan goddess, plus his grandmother is an old witch. He’s got more stuff to say on it too. So now, with a well needed break from his Harry Potter material, is the latest from the Spaceman.


Rehab Claims Another Child Star Butch Patrick? He was the adorably creepy wolf-boy Eddy Munster on the Munsters TV series (that was the Adams Family rip off, though in a more enjoyable series). Growing up the product of a mixed TV marriage couldn’t have been easy (mother was some kind of ghoul and father was a whatever/Frankenstein creature). Add to that the pressures of being a were-child actor and young Butch was on the road to trouble.

Trouble, for Butch, took the usual form: alcohol, marijuana, and cocaine. Butch has struggled with those chemical demons for years. Years have added up to about 4 decades and counting. Recently years of trouble came to a head. Butch was seeing a young woman, Donna McCall, that he’d met at a fan convention (you know a celebrity is in a serious career slump when they start seeing their stalker – unless they’re Orlando Bloom. Now I’m no referring to the clingy and heavily pregnant Miranda Kerr, though some have pointed out that she does have a creepy stalkerish quality when it comes to Orlando. What I’m referring to is an incident that occurred some years back, Orlando was being stalked by a desperate young woman. She had cornered him in his hotel room. At first Orlando was afraid to leave the room as he watched her watching him through the hotel room window. Then he thought to himself “She’s lonely out there, and I’m lonely in here. We have so much in common!” With that he invited her in and they spent the evening having a heart to heart chat. I guess after that Miranda seemed like an improvement. So it just goes to show that dreams can come true, sort of. Just don’t take a stun gun and duct tape along when you go after your favourite celebrity; cause they’re skittish and the Dexter kit might put them off!). They began seeing each other and there was even some talk of marriage.

Well these Comic-con relationships seldom work out. Butch and his girlfriend had a falling out, and that lead to a bust up, which eventually lead to poor Butch checking himself into rehab. I guess getting dumped by your stalker is a bit of a come down even when your already on the bottom. Butch’s representatives, and he still has them (getting repped is like baptism in show business – you can’t lose it no matter how far you stray from the path) have tried to put a good spin on it. get a grip on his addiction and educate himself. We have thought he could possibly be a product of the child star problem … and are thankful he will take control of his fate. an unnamed spokesperson said. Rehab, education, trying to become a productive member of society; it sounds pretty bad (as bad as your average parole board review!). Maybe worse than Lindsay Lohan. It’s even worse than it sounds – Butch’s rehab isn’t one of those 5 star jobs. The poor fellow is getting dried out in New Jersey! Hopefully this little cautionary tale will serve as food for thought to some of you fame seeking potential celebrities in waiting out there. Entertainment can get ugly when it goes wrong; and it almost never goes right.

I’d say that these child star fuck up stories are becoming more common except that there so common that they’ve become a sad cliche (ever since the late Dana Plato of Different Strokes held up that video store anyway). Now they’re occurring with disturbing regularity. Disney actresses Lindsay Lohan and Demi Lovato are currently simultaneously in rehab. Then again Disney was always the tool of evil. The thing is that gossip never stops. Fortunately (or not) for you, Wondertrash never sleeps!


Lindsay on the Loose

Lindsay Lohan Goes Free

Lindsay finishes sentence – she’s had longer hangovers!

Those who were hoping that Lindsay Lohan might be getting a major dose of justice might be in for a major disappointment. The actress was recently incarcerated in Lynnwood Rehabilitation Facility for violation of her probation. The probation stems back to a 2007 incident involving a car and intoxicants. The powers that be cut her some slack on that, and ordered her into an alcohol awareness program. Lindsay is already pretty alcohol aware, and so decided to skip most of the program. Perhaps she was waiting until they got to the sobriety awareness part?

Anyway Lindsay’s continued defiance lead to more court dates, more recommended 12 step programs, a scram bracelet – the newest rogue celebrity accessory – and finally getting banged up in the poky! Though she screamed and cried during sentencing, and promised to be good this time – the miniature “fuck off” inscribed into her nail polish called her sincerity into question!

Well just a short time ago Lindsay began serving what was supposed to be a 90 day sentence. Stories coming out of Lynnwood had Lohan behaving as a model prison: quiet, compliant, and cooperative. There were a few hitches: Logan wasn’t eating – though she’s never been one for solid food and usually prefers a liquid diet; and she’d stopped drinking – anything. Maybe she wasn’t used to water as a main beverage instead of a mixer. However word was that the water in the facility is as filthy as anything seen since the days of cholera.

Lindsay’s otherwise model behavior seems to have paid of. The sometime actress and tabloid mainstay (God bless her – what would we do without her?) was sprung loose earlier today. Prison officials declared severe overcrowding combined with the non violent nature of Lohan’s offense as the reason for her early release. With so many rapists and serial murders running amok in the Land of the Free it just didn’t make sense to blow tax payers’ money on a celebrity. With America coming out of a recession the argument has validity. Of course if they made the wealthy pay for their own imprisonment it might go along way towards furthering the cause of American Justice. Since the USA has a two tiered health care system, why then not opt for the best penal system too?

BTW Lindsay maybe free from captivity but isn’t being reintroduced into the wild just yet. The actress has been transferred from prison custody into a 90 day treatment program. If this 90 days lasts as long as her last 90 day sentence it’ll be over before her hangover!

Good Luck Chuck – Charlie’s devils

Charlie Sheen gets 30 days in Promises Rehab for Chrsitmas DAy Knife Fight with wife Brooke MuellerIn an unrelated but parallel story Charlie Sheen is off the hook over his domestic assault beef. The actor got into some trouble over allegations that he threatened his wife – Brooke Mueller – with a knife during a Christmas Dinner altercation. Things looked bad for Chuck until it was revealed that Brooke was even more drunk than he was at the time. Plus she had a colorful cocaine past- including an alleged stint in rehab while preggers!

The fact that Brooke’s story kept changing didn’t help her credibility much. First she claimed that Charlie had held a knife to her throat. Then she said that she made it up. Then her lawyer said that she only said that cause she had Battered Woman Syndrome or something. Cynics thought that she was keeping her options open while trying to figure out which side of the 20 million a year (which Chuck gets for 2 1/2 Men) she fell on. If he divorced her she’d burn him, but if he let her keep riding the gravy train then she wouldn’t screw up his pay check.

Denise Richards even spoke out in Charlie’s defense. She claimed that Charlie was a great father who never physically abused her (similar to what Mel Gibson’s ex Robyn is currently saying about Mad Max via court depositions). Considering that this is the woman who as much as accused him of pedophilia during their ultra nasty divorce (Denise publicly claimed that Charlie enjoyed looking at “borderline porn” on the Internet. Then she brought her kids into the judge for an emergency closed door session following a return from a visit with Charlie. She claimed they were acting oddly. The judge examined the kids and then laughed Denise out of his office.) and people began thinking that money must talk or something. So considering the skanks and ho bags that seemed drawn to Sheen, the public started giving him the benefit of the doubt.

That only left the courts to deal with. Now Charlie’s crack legal team were working overtime to get everything banged down to the minimum. They worked out a plea bargain where Chuck could do some minimal jail time and be back on the loose in time for the next season of his highly rated show. There was even a work release during the day so Sheen wouldn’t get too cooped up. Charlie liked the idea of that since it gave him a chance to keep up on one of his favorite hobbies- chain smoking. However when it turned out that prison no smoking laws applied to the work release as well so the deal went out the window.

Now finally some closure has been reached in this sordid affair. Charlie was sentenced earlier today. He managed to avoid jail time too. Chuck will get the usual celebrity slap on the wrist – 30 days in rehab. He’ll be checking into Promises Rehab Center – a facility with a track record of failure where celebrities are concerned (they failed with Lohan a couple of times and have had a few other hi profile losers pass through their gates including Hollywood’s answer to Jerri Blank, Tara Reid!) sometime soon. No word on what Promises smoking policy might be. As for Chuck – next stop, divorce court.

So the moral of today’s story is – in the words of Jerri Blank – you should always take responsibility for your actions, unless you don’t have to!


Lindsay Lohan: The Cos Has Got Your Back!

recovery vs discovery

Lindsay Lohan
has been attracting a lot of attention with her high spirited life style. She’s not only captured the imagination of the public and the tabloids, but even become a person of interest to notable quacks like Dr Drew Pinsky. Quack sounds a little harsh to say about a guy who’s very harsh, but when you publicly state that you’d plant drugs on some one to get thenm arrested, in order to further your personal agenda for their recovery; then you’re quacking like a duck.

Both TV Docs, only one’s any good

Well fortunately there are some cooler wiser heads out there. One comes in the form of American Entertainment’s Grand Old Man, and a Mark Twain medal winner – Bill Cosby. Now Bill and Pinksy have some thing in common: they’ve both played doctors on TV. One bog difference between the 2 TV Drs. is that when asked about the Lindsay Lohan situation, Bill Cosby is the first one to actually make sense. Here’s what he had to say by way of MSNBC:

Tamer by taser: “ECT has an established history as a valid medical treatment!”

Now you can’t argue with that. Well you can but for one thing there’s very little to argue with in the statement. For one thing he’s not plotting radical Dr Drew style interventions “Now you hold the gunny sack and get ready to throw it over Lindsay’s head after I taser her silly! Then it’s off to our little rehab show of horrors where everyone gets what they signed on for – publicity!

fatal prescriptions

For another The Cos makes a valid point: Lindsay ain’t the only partier in Follywood, and is not even the most extreme. She’s merely the most public. While her ups and downs were well documented it was the apparently stable types like Heath Ledger who surprised us by cashing in their chips with prescription medications. Now Lindsay is backed into a corner and has only the prescription meds to fall back on. You know, the kind that killed Anna Nicole Smith, Michael Jackson, Cory Haim, Britteny Murphy, etc. Well never know how many celebrity close call OD’s were never found out about – but Mischa Barton blindsided many. Most of these people passed while professional meddlers were pulling their hair and demanding “what’s to be done about Lindsay Lohan?

a very simple 3 step plan

Cosby makes a good point. Problem No 1 is the constant scrutiny which has made the young actresses life unlivable – but kept sites like this in material. No 2 is get the whole issue in proportion. Why focus on Lindsay when there are a dozen celebrities out there who are easily worse./? Is Lindsay Lohan really that much more interesting than the competition? Probably. No 3 the young woman needs some space and some support in getting it together, and not constant intrusions and interventions in her life. If this is Dr Huxtable’s prescription, I like it alot better than Pinsky’s (I’d have used the term doctor for Drew, but you know…) “Frame her up better than the Mona Lisa” tactics. The problem with the Dr Drews of the world is that even when the operations are successful, the patients might still die.

Speaking of giving young talent a boost the Wondertrash blog pick of the day goes to another Torontonian who authors “A Tale of Toronto“. Her name is Aliana Iharosi, and you can find her by hitting the linked banner below. Tell her Wondertrash sent ya. That won’t mean anything to her, but it’s good to get some hype when possible.

With summer almost upon us, and the Mercury rising with a vengeance, here’s a little reminder from Wondertrash to keep cool, but stay hot!

got it made in the shades!

Going blonde helps – reflects more light while black absorbs the heat! I hope that pseudo scientific explanation comes in handy!


Brooke Mueller Sheen hiding out in rehab

So I guess that means she’s gonna miss the Winter Olympics. A shame too, since she was having a grand time partying up in Aspen while poor Charlie was answering question for the police. Now it’s Brooke’s turn to answer some questions, but she feels more like rehab than talking!


Tiger Woods in sex rehab?

Current Tiger Woods rumours have him checked into the exclusive sex rehab clinic The Meadows, in Wickenberg Arizona. Tiger checked in sometime around the holidays and is due out sometime around Valentine’s Day! How ironic!

picture courtesy of EsterGoldberg


Tiger Woods Sex Tape?

So is there a Tiger Woods sex tape? Probably. Even more interesting – both Tom Sizemore and Heidi Fleiss are signed on for season 3 of Dr Drew’s Celebrity Rehab. They had a prior relationship once upon a time, when Sizemore was an actor and Fleiss was a hooker/madam. From Hollywood’s inner circle to reality TV must’ve been a long hard fall from grace. As for Tiger Woods – speaking of falls from grace – maybe Dr Drew can do something for that poor man in season 4.


Pamela Anderson takes mini dress snow boarding

Still working hard to pay off those platinum pool tiles

What does Pamela Anderson wear snow boarding? Pamela has shown up in public wearing everything but a diaper. Her ensembles have two constants: they’re trashy and their revealing. So using some basic extrapolation that it Pammy goes snow boarding she will strike a balance between shock value and skin exposure. That usually adds up to a consistent “m’eh”. In this case is some high end snow boarding boots and what could be a thrift shop mini dress (but without undies). Now how did this girl ever find herself in a trailer park? Incidentally Pamela was participating in an event to promote the 2010 Vancouver Olympics, and as usual promote herself.

Now a startling look at celebrity addiction and recovery with Dr Drew and Gary Busey!

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip

After viewing that Richard Heene doesn’t seem any so bad. In fact it seems that a major difference between Heene and Dr Drew is that Heene didn’t put his kid into the balloon.


Burt Reynolds sent to the nuthouse

Burt Reynolds is the latest actor to succumb to the scourge of the entertainment industry: rehab. Big Burt made his way there via the usual route too: booze, pills, and a trip to the nut house. Seems that some red flags went up about the actor when he was found semi conscious and covered in blood. It seems that the actor had taken a fall while inebriated.

Enter state nuthouse, do not pass “go”, & no $200!

So his friends whisked him off to the nearest emergency ward. Only trouble was that eh was acting so oddly that emerge staff wanted him to see some mental health specialists. That lead to a trip to the local county nuthouse. Once there they refused to release him until he sought some professional help for his chemical dependencies. Since that was the price of release, he agreed. No world on how enthusiastically he agreed, but when you’re basically holding a gun to a person’s head, cooperation is about as much as you can reasonably expect. Good luck Burt!

revolting sex slave?

Speaking of captives with poor attitudes Eat.Sleep.Celebrity is reporting that Jesus Luz is tired of being Madonna’s sex slave. I guess that it wasn’t the great deal it seemed like in the beginning. The Material Girl doesn’t do relationships well, unless there are clearly defined roles of dominance and subservience. The knack of respecting others as equals still eludes her, and her bossiness continues to alienate anyone unfortunate enough to get sucked into her gravitational field. Oh well, for a while there he was as loyal as any of the other prisoners in Madge’s life! I wonder if he’ll get to keep the Kaballah accessories?


Brad Pitt gone mental?

He’s finally cracked! According to Ian Undercover Angelina Jolie has finally broken Brad Pitt’s gentle spirit and driven the poor man into rehab. Pitt’s alcoholism has become more noticeable over the years. During the Benjamin Button release in Europe there were reports that he almost DUI’d, had not hotel staff stopped him from getting into his car and driving off with an opened bear still in his hand. Now it appears that he has entered rehab for what must surely be Angelina Jolie stress related drinking. In fact my guess is that if he’s in any kind of facility then it’s probably the nuthouse. Crazy is Jolie’s speciality. Besides living with a headcase and 8 or 9 kids was bound to take a tole on his nerves.

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