Kim Kardashian Donating Wedding Gifts

Kim Kardashian is sharing the wealth, but she’s keeping the presents! This chick has gotta be voting Republican this November!

Attention bloggers – be more ultracrepidarian!

We get a hard time for being part of the fringe media. That’s because when no one pays you for what you do others don’t take that very seriously. That’s just part of living in a materialistic society. You can sometimes compensate for that by coming off all pretentious. In the case of amateurs writers you can turbo charge your vocabulary, & basically vomit up the whole damned thesaurus. With that in mind here’s a list of some rare and obscure words you can try to work into your own blog post so that you can sound more malapert (clever in speech and manner – like how I worked that one in?):

A Collection of Rare and Obscure Words

mattmeetstheinternet:

Cheiloproclitic – Being attracted to someones lips.
Quidnunc – One who always has to know what is going on.
Ultracrepidarian – Of one who speaks or offers opinions on matters beyond their knowledge.
Apodyopis – The act of mentally undressing someone.
Gymnophoria – The sensation that someone is mentally undressing you.
Tarantism – The urge to overcome melancholy by dancing.
Autolatry – The worship of one’s self.
Cagamosis – An unhappy marriage.
Gargalesthesia – The sensation caused my tickling.
Capernoited – Slightly intoxicated or tipsy.
Lalochezia – The use of abusive language to relieve stress or ease pain.
Cataglottism – Kissing with tongue.
Basorexia – An overwhelming desire to kiss.
Brontide – The low rumbling of distant thunder.
Grapholagnia – The urge to stare at obscene pictures.
Agelast – A person who never laughs.
Wanweird – An unhappy fate.
Dystopia – Am imaginary place of total misery. A metaphor for hell.
Petrichor – The smell of dry rain on the ground.
Anagapesis – The feeling when one no longer loves someone they once did.
Malapert – Clever in manners of speech.
Duende – Unusual power to attract or charm.
Concilliabule – A secret meeting of people who are hatching a plot.
Strikhedonia – The pleasure of being able to say “to hell with it”.
Lygerastia – The condition of one who is only amorous when the lights are out.

Ayurnamat – The philosophy that there is no point in worrying about events that cannot be changed.
Sphallolalia – Flirtatious talk that leads no where.
Baisemain – A kiss on the hand.
Druxy – Something which looks good on the outside, but is actually rotten inside.
Mamihlapinatapei – The look between two people in which each loves the other but is too afraid to make the first move.

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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Lohan – Ronson Over


Looks like the Lindsay Lohan Samantha Ronson fiasco is officially over. Reports are that Ronson has kicked Lindsay out, and changed the locks on her door. What more Ronson is apparently trying to taunt Lindsay by posting the following picture via Twitter. It’s a cake with Lohan’s favourite frosting!
That’s the way the cookie crumbles, except the cookie is cake
Perhaps it’s a sarcastic reference to those 1 year cakes they give out at AA? What’s more Ronson is believed to have gone so far as to have changed the locks on her doors. She has even banned Lohan from her DJing events, like the recent gig she did for her designer sister Charlotte. Charlote Ronson wanted to get her new JC Penney line off with a bang and so held a party at Chateau Marmont. Sam was playing, and left word that Lohan was not to be allowed in. Lohan showed up, and when she realized she was barred made a major stink about it. It took 5 bouncers to keep her out!
Drugs & lesbian sex: not as glamourous as you think
Red hot lesbian sex has provided Lohan with the longest lasting relationship in her adult life. However Lohan seemed to be too much of a handful. In the two years they’ve been together Ronson has lost weight, be admitted to hospital, lost DJ gigs (clients were afraid that their insurance would’nt cover Lohan related flip outs like wild brawls or cars being driven through their front windows), and has seldom been out of the lime light. To put it bluntly Lohan was to Ronson what Heather Mills was to Paul McCartney – a pain in the ass and more trouble than she was worth. It seems like celebrities are determined to take the glamour out of illicet drug use! Must they spoil everything they touch?
I can’t say that I’m completely surprised. After Hollywood issued an employment ban on Lohan Ronson became ‘any port in a storm’. Ronson kept Lohan in the high style to which she is accustomed: boozed out with her nosed powdered. She was really biting into Sam’s back account too. Rumours were than Lohan was staking a big bite out of Ronson’s bank account. Friends of the DJ say she wasn’t thrilled out picking up the tab. Then there was all Lohan related damage, like the recent St Patrick’s Day flip out when Lohan wrecked Ronson’s pad, busted windows, and went so wild that the cops were called out. 6 officers showed up apparently loaded for big game.
However Lohan recently found gainful employment again. She has gotten some kind of modelling gig. She celebrated by acquiring a new Maserati, which got dinged within 24 hours. Lohan claims it was like that when she got it, though with Lindsay anything is possible. She has had some bad luck with cars.
Sam Ronson – scared straight?
The important thing is that she’s working again, and financially independent. She’s earning her own money and can afford her own coke. So she doesn’t really need Ronson anymore. It would be understandable if she took advantage of their latest quarrel to end the relationship. Ronson is probably better off. We can just hope that this whole ordeal hasn’t turned her off of chicks or anything.
We can’t be too hard on Lohan. Drugs are a major part of the Hollywood scene. For instance poor old Redmond O Neal has gotten busted again for crystal meth, and with his mother Farrah Fawcett perhaps only days away from death. He was arrested last Saturday, and was released on 25 000 bail. I hope he`s worth it `cause it`s been a while since his dad has had a career or anything. Ryan needs that money for his own habit! Meanwhile Amy Winehouse has taken to smoking banana peals, if rumours are to be believed. Banana peals contain a mild hallucinogenic, but no one has actually smoked them since the 60`s. Remember Donovan`s Mellow Yellow hit? It seems that celebrities are determined to take the glamour out of illicit drug use. Must they spoil everything they touch?
Never fear L’il Lohan, ’cause when things are rotten I find a merry little tune can brighten things up. With that in mind here’s a special Mocksure video dedication to the love lorn Ms Lohan, the theme of forgotten TV comedy and Mel Brooks Robin Hood spoof When Things Were Rotten, sung in German. German is truly the language of Komedy!
Coming soon to Mocksure – Did Mischa Barton break up Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin?


Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

Doing the splits in Cougar Country

As sands through the hour glass??

So what went wrong between John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston? According to the National Enquirer there was no one single issue that broke them up. It was a combination of factors. Factors like John’s wandering eye. Also there was his tendency to twitter about their love life. He also refused an invitation to move into her 15 mill Hollywood pad. Jen was disappointed that John hadn’t got around to proposing to her. Plus she felt that he was putting his career ahead of her desire to settle down and start up a family – now that’s ironic (I say it’s ironic because that was Brad Pitt’s complaint about her).
Hollywood’s longest running soap opera
Jen’s friends didn’t help the relationship. Courtney Cox in particular felt that Mayer was a dirt bag, a user, and a loser. She was constantly and strongly urging Jen to drop him. Now that’s a bit of a surprise because Jen has been a conspicuous 3rd wheel in her relationship to funny man David Arquette
While Jen was in long term residence at Heartbreak Hotel  following her Pitt split, her only outings were with Cox and her husband. So observers might have suspected Cox would be relieved to have some time alone. However if even half of the rumours about Cox’s troubled marriage are true, then she was only too happy to have Jen around. The less one on one time she has with the old man, the less intense the situation is. So Jen got dragged in as a kind of buffer. 
Plus Cox hasn’t completely given up on reviving her TV career (though the rest of the world seems to realize that ship has sailed already). She’s got some new venture planned called Cougar Country, or something, and being able to trot poor needy desperate Aniston out for occasional co star duty could come in handy. Nothing like a girl on girl kiss to temporally spark the rating of a dud TV project!
The J Dog couldn’t stop wagging his tail at strangers
The Cox – Aniston relationship is beginning to sound pathetically co dependent. Mayer did give Cox plenty of ammo to use against  him though. In his brief time with Jen he cheated on her at least three times: with a groupie, a cocktail waitress, and a promoter’s daughter. He can’t be blamed for the last one. It was probably strictly business. Pays to keep colleges happy. However there was a disturbing incident that got posted onto one of the gossip sites. That’s the one where Mayer made a creepy come on to a trio of young women after a performance. There were enough anatomical details to give the story a ring of truth. Then again everyone knows about Mayer’s mole.
Moment of triumph…
The thing is that they seemed so happy at the Oscars. Even in the run up John seemed excited. He bashed Brad Pitt on youtube. He publicly defended Jen on a few other occasions. Then when the happy day arrived, they reigned over the festivities like king and queen of the prom. John was finally realizing how big a deal Jen is. In fact he looked so giddy on awards night that he seemed about to wet the red carpet! The only thing that might have made the night complete for Aniston would have been if Angelina Jolie had been offered up as a human sacrifice; honey glazed and with an apple in her mouth!
… and the morning after
So what do you do for an encore? There was bound to be some kind of anti climax. According to some reports the morning after Mayer set off to lock himself in the studio, announcing “That’s it. Until the album’s done I’m invisible“. Aniston didn’t appreciate the cold shoulder. 
There was also the fact that Jen expected a proposal on Valentine’s day, which never materialized. Stories in the tabs about Mayer picking out the biggest honking ring he could find must have only heightened her humiliation and disappointment. The only thing left to make a clean break was some time away. When Jen got back from promoting Marley & Me overseas, she phoned Mayer up with an abrupt announcement – “It’s over!” Now how much time is a 40 year old woman supposed to waste. There ain’t alot of time left on the meter!
The soap opera continues by picking right up where it left off
So now Jen has picked up and is moving forward. Her publicist is busy phoning around to Hollywood’s ambitious young up and comers; to see if there is anyone interested in making a smart career move.  Meanwhile Jen is rumoured to be spending money like it’s water. “It helps her forget” the usual unnamed sources explain. Courtney is pushing Cougar Country ahead full steam too. Perhaps she’s feels that it would be an even better vehicle for occasional Aniston guest spots! Mayer is picking up too. He’s talking about writing a tell all book about life with Aniston. He’s also running his mouth double time on Twitter. According to him he wasn’t fired, he quit. The final straw was when Jen called him Brad in a fit of sexual excitement! Now if that’s his idea of saving face then the lad had better go back to school! So it’s not a matter of what went wrong, but of nothing going right. Besides, I’m sure that Vince Vaughn’s recent engagement didn’t help the situation much!
PS. Did Twitter bust up Mayer and Aniston? Well calling them Mayerston couldn’t have helped. Far from being cute, those combined names are down right irritating! At least they weren’t referred to as Johniffer! You can follow John Mayer’s continuing misadventures on Twitter @ JohnMayerTwit. Perezhilton is asking him for a translation even as I post!!
Daily dharma:
It’s not all DUI’s and dirty underwear at Mocksure. Let it not be said that we don’t also fill your heads with inflammatory conspiracy theories!
I can’t say that we tell the truth here at Mocksure; we just blurt stuff out. If that’s not revolutionary, then at least it’s shocking poor taste!


Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

Katie Homes – surviving the process, so far

“If you get too famous you will go straight to hell,” a Japanese Zen Master had warned… Zen hell is this world right here and now, in which you see life around you but can’t participate in it. You’re forever a stranger from your own life because there’s something in your life that holds you back. You see others bathing in the life all around them while you have to drink it through a straw, never getting enough.


You would think that fame and fortune would bring a sense of closeness to other people, but quite the opposite happens. You split into two people, who they think you are and who you really are, and that produces the Zen hell. …
~ Robert Pirsig

demanding perfectionist allows wife out of the house looking like shit

Katie Holmes was once vibrant young woman. During her Dawson’s Creek days she was America’s Crush, and a sort of ladder day Valerie Bertinelli. Of course that was before love, and Scientology found her. Whether she and husband Tom Cruise are star crossed lovers or love crossed stars; his image took a beating in the collision, and so did her appearance! Tom had recognized the strong amazing woman with in the sweetness, and now was determined to bring that woman out, even if he killed her in the process.
She wanted fame, she became half of America’s most bizarre celeb marriage – post modernism??
We should’ve known what was in store when Tom made Katie run the New York Marathon. Amazingly she finished, and after cleaning herself up was off to some gala function that evening. She was seen grinning painfully like the other guests, so that you might never suspect she’d completed a 26 mile run that morning. An impressive achievement, but could the bionic woman keep up the pace.
Do you love me for who I am? I love you enough never to let you settle for that!
Well it appears that even the energizer bunny will eventually run out of juice. As Tom kept the pressure on Katie to never settle for being anything less than strong and amazing, America watched her wilt under the strain. She went from being an attractive and vibrant woman in her mid twenties to losing weight and looking aged. In fact poor Katie had begun to look so haggard that you’d think she were in preparation for a role as Nancy Reagan during the White House years!
No one will hear you scream – Surviving purification and other amazing challenges!
Odd stories began to emerge too – more odd than Katie having to wear a special birthing gag during delivery. There were rumours that Tom had her on strange Scientology purification regimes. Some were saying that she had to go days without solid food, subsisting only on L Ron Hubbard approved barley water and iodine mixtures. This was to rid her body of thetans and other unwanted contaminants both chemical and spiritual; and eventually to make her ready for the birth of space baby No 2. Observers feared that if Katie managed to survive purification, then she might not be strong and amazing enough to actually carry a baby. As Katie began to take on the appearance of a 50 year old the phrase “the operation was a success but he patient died” kept springing to mind.
If he were deliberately trying to kill her then this would make more sense
Well Katie watchers will be happy to know that things appear to have changed. Mrs Cruise has recently emerged in Japan at the side of her husband and looking unusually good. As a matter of fact she showed up at the Tokyo premier of Valkyrie looking almost healthy! What could’ve caused this shocking change? Was the purification paying off? Had Tom come to his senses and called off the 12 hour sauna and cup of gruel a day routine?
The good news about purification is that there is a cure!
Well something was paying off but it wasn’t purification. It has now been revealed that Katie geared up for the premier with a 2 day long, $75 000 intensive make over! According to the story Katie holed up in the Tokyo Ritz Carlton where a team of image experts gave her a thorough over haul. Her new thick shiny hair, a change from the dull lifeless bob we are used to seeing her with, is the result of $5000 hair extensions (harvested from the heads of virgin teens in the Philippines no doubt!). In addition there was a trip to the dentist for $50 000 veneers. Now that’s not quite a million dollar smile but in this challenging economic times close enough! Then there was 20 000 in spa treatments. Once Katie started to look remotely human again there was 3000 in premium make up, to cover the ravages of self improvement. once the process was complete Katie emerged looking astonishingly presentable!
Passing inspection
However a closer look at Ms Cruise reveal that she is not the fresh young flower that she once was. In fact she looks like a derelict house that has had a coat of shellac hastily slapped on to improve it’s appearance for an appraisal. The new windows and siding don’t really hide the signs of structural damage, and a foundation that has cracked. Once the premium make up is wiped of, the same dull eyed, slack jawed zombie we’ve come to know will be found still lurking timidly underneath. Tom has learned that by splashing out enough money he can temporarily undo some of the long term damage he has undoubtedly done to his wife. That’s shows some degree of awareness.
She looks no worse than any celebrity!
The question is: has he learned that if he has to spend $100 000 just to undo the effects of his even more expensive self development program, then the whole deal was probably a bad idea from the word go? Or will she go back on the spartan regiment of bilge water and steam baths once the cameras are pointed away, perhaps to get new aluminum siding in the unlikely event that Tom has another premier to drag her out for? Never underestimate the determination of a Thetan on a mission of mercy. If Tom had the sense to know when to quit then he’d have called off this whole sad sorry charade some time after the shit hit the fan on the Oprah Winfrey Show. Instead he’s played this out farther than any sane man and most lunatics would’ve dreamed of doing. In other words expect Katie to go back to looking like something the cat dragged in some time soon. At least Tom has confirmed America’s faith in the power of the make over – and they say no good has come out of Scientology! Still it could be worse. At least she’s not Mischa Barton, or Lisa Rinna.
Daily dharma – To live for some future goal is shallow. It’s the sides of the mountain that sustain life, not the top.

Robert M. Pirsig



Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

Suffering Sappho – pix from the scene of Lohan’s weekend flip out!

It’s pop o matic trouble!

By now everyone has heard about Lindsay Lohan’s rumble with Ronson last week end. This occurred during what proved to be a wild Lohan style week end that only Lindsay could pull off. There were late night drinking and drugging binges (allegedly), trips to visit Jack Nicholson in the wee hours of the morning, and online Twitter freak outs! 
Beware the Ides of March!
The whole thing was set off when a warrant was issued for Ms Lohan on March 13 – other wise known as Friday the 13th. Apparently Lohan wasn’t complying with some court order over some arrest for some  hit and run that happened a year of so back. There have been so many that you can’t really blame Lindz for losing track. Besides her recall (and grammar too, if some online messages are any indication) is not everything that it could be. When Lindz heard about the warrant she completely lost it. She whipped off a missive to Perezhilton, full of spelling errors, claiming that the warrant story was fabricated and could blow every deal she’s got going. I doubt that she’s got anything going, and what ever she’s got can’t be worth going ballistic over.
Anyway that sent La Lohan into a weekend long tail spin. During the way she had a 5 alarm blow out with Samantha Ronson. That was on Saturday morning, about 11 AM. She’d returned from her special tete e tete with Nicholson several hours previous (the English phrase might be heart to heart, but the French are just so much more knowing about these things. It’s their legendary savior faire). The source of the argument seemed to be some DJ engagement that Ronson had. Ronson couldn’t get out of it, and Lindsay could go with because she wasn’t allowed to leave the state. So the lid blew straight off.
Between 11 AM & 12 PM the neighbours phoned the police. They got alarmed when they heard the sounds of ‘something’ hitting the walls. Plus stuff was flying out of the windows, and that was leaving glass scattered around everywhere. Then there was the obscene yelling. By the time the police showed up everything was calm, and no one answered the door. So they had to go away empty handed. However we know that World War 3 went down on the premises (although I suppose that we really have to say World War 4 in our post Bush era, just to be accurate), because there are plenty of picture from ground zero – and here they are!
Hunting for beaver, loaded for bear
It looks like they had the SWAT team out. Then again from what the neighbours are saying, the frightful sounds emanating from the premises made them fear that Chris Brown might be beating Rihanna with OJ Simpson inside! As it turned out, it was only a couple of scared, coked up, boozed out lesbians. Still it would’ve be a good idea to bring along the riot gear and tear gas, just to be on the safe. At least some pepper spray.
You might be glad to know that Lohan’s madcap weekend has ended well enough. Ronson managed to get off to her gig, so some one will be bringing money into the household. 3 or 4 kind ladies with AA Blue Books showed up after the cops left, and stayed until Lindz could get it together (though that alone might have driven many of use to drink!) Lindsay and Sam are still together, because at this point who else would have either of them?? As for the warrant that started the whole commotion, well that’s been dropped. Seems that the courts are describing it as no big deal. So Lindsay won’t be going to jail, or not just yet (though she may give rehab another try). Jack Nicholson must have some clout in that town!! So it this Happily Ever After, or To Be Continued
Remember, when life hands you a lemon, throw in some club soda and whiskey – then shake violently!!
I never give you my pillow

I only send you my invitations
And in the middle of the celebrations
I break down


Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

Marco Jaric – charges dropped

The charges of sexually assault against Grizzlies point guard, and Adriana Lima husband Marco Jaric have been dropped. Philadelphia police say the claims were unsubstantiated. Now I hate to say “I told you so” but Mocksure is the only celebrity gossip blog that did. While the other sites were beating the same drum, it was Mocksure that brought up Alexandra Paressant and Tony Parker, by way of a possible parallel. X17 was also brought up, as an example of a hi profile gossip site that got the story wrong – persistently. Mocksure may not be big, we were just right!
Twitter Twatter
Much more in  the line of entertainment gossip, Defamer is reporting that with police and counsellors descending upon Lindsay Lohan (God bless her, God bless her-  what would we do without her?)  in some kind of full frontal intervention, the former actress and current lesbian has flipped out – on Twitter! Def received an anonymous letter from some one complaining about Lohan’s online antics in the wee hours of Saturday morning. It’s not the first time Lohan’s early morning iniquities have provoked irratation – but this time the issue was her rapid fire Twitter updating!
The mystery e mailer claims that Lohan had some kind of online freak out – perhaps while under the influence. However their claims are backed up by the fact that they provided some interesting screen caps from Lohan’s locked twitter account – Sevinnyne! Then, to prove that they’re not just going all X17 on the word of some anonymous crack, they post those screen caps. Here they are!
The mystery e mailer then goes on to draw attention to one she describes as among the craziest of among a pretty messed up bunch of tweets – “should you end it if the one person in the world fails to love, hold/comfort, apologize, and CHERISH you the night before jail? LIARS R COWARDS cuz they don’t know what they got til it is far gone. and people-if you fucking love someone. PUT UR PRIDE A-fucking-SIDE AND JUST LOVE THEM BACK! do not ever dj before calling if they
ARE FUCKING ABOUT TO GET ARRESTED FOR CHASING YOU TO MAKE YOU STAY“. 
Looks like there’s trouble in paradise. The gyst of it is that Sam went out DJing the night before the showdown – some one has to earn the bread in that relationship – and Lindsay took that as an excuse to go out and get wasted ‘with chicks who act like chicks‘.
Now here’s were it gets interesting. Sevynnine has only 20 Twitter followers, included I assume Samantha Ronson here self. The account is locked, so you gotta be in the inner circle to have access to those tweets. That means one of those twenty people is the person emailing Defamer, and apparently trying to make trouble for Sam and Lindz! It should be an interesting Saint Patrick’s day as a desperate Lindsay works here way through the suspect list!  As if she didn’t have enough troubles!
Girl most likely is a wanted woman!

Freaky Friday
BTW – the night before Lindsay online meltdown, the actress reputedly visited Jack Nicholson at something like 1:30 AM. Lindsay and her entourage showed up at Nicholson’s gate after a night at Chateau Marmount. They buzzed several times before Lindz was let in. She remained inside until approx 4:30, when a body guard showed up to take her back to Ronson’s pad. Sam Ronson showed up around noon, just in time for a major knock down drag out with Lohan, in which glass was hear breaking. The police eventually showed up.
One final thing on Lohan, she’s starting to look like Alicia Silverstone in that top shot, She’d better get a grip on the booze and drugs while she can still get her original face back!
Oh yeah, Lindz wasn’t the only young woman to go wild recently. A whole herd went berserk in NYC – the scene of the crime was America’s Next Top Model. Here’s the crowd scene video:
I suppose this proves that within every normal man and woman is the heart of a celebrity, beating like a hammer and  just waiting to get out to create havoc!


Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

Vince Vaughn engaged to a gold digging tramp!

Things are going great for Jennifer Aniston. The Oscars worked out fantastic. Giving John Mayer a taste of the limelight side of show biz seemed to show her exactly how big a deal she is. He was so excited at the Awards that I thought he was gonna wet the carpet for a minute, and expected some one to ask Jenn at any moment “Hey Aniston, you do have that guy toilet trained right??” Now there are even Ansiton pregnancy rumours floating around, and Jenn is so full of herself that she even has the confidence to start frightening the beJezuz out of Anne Hathaway! The gals had a little spat when protegee Anne unwittingly compared herself to Anston by saying that they both had bad taste in men. Though Jen has picked a few losers over the years, none of them have been jailed, or accused of trying to con the Pope – so Aniston shot back with a response that made Hathaway look like some kind of gangster moll who specialized in going anal for the Mafia (or as Anne allegedly put it “Feeling like a woman in that special way!“)!
So that brings us up to speed with Jennifer Aniston, but what of her former partner in crime Vince Vaughn? Well Vaughn has bounced back too. Recent reports have him engaged to a charming young woman from Western Canada. The lady in question is real estate developer Kyla Weber. Her father has confirmed that happy news that’ yes his daughter is marrying a movie star, to the Montreal Gazzette, but he refused to make any further comments. No use in queering the deal before the names are even on the contract! We do know that Vince has been out to Calgary and has met the whole family, and Kyla has been to Chicago to meet Vince’s folks – who just love her!
Now here’s the unofficial story – Kyla had been seriously seeing a guy from her home town of Okotoks Cal for about a year when she goes to LA to attend the wedding of a friend. Vaughn is there cause he knows the groom. Well Vaughn and Weber hit it off, and the next thing you know she’s telling her steady boyfriend to shove off and go for a flying leap. So it sounds like the girl is all heart, and decided that it was no time to get senimental/stupid when she could do better for herself.
Better she did do too. Vaughn has already popped the question and laid a $125 000 4 carat diaimond and platnium ring on her. He even went down on one knee to propose – although I’m sure she would’ve if it had come to that. Word has it that the wedding is set to take place in either Hollywood or Alberta sometime soon (I’m guessing that Alberta was Vince’s idea – how sweet!), and that they’re ready to start a family pronto! 
So it looks like this one is the bag! I’m sure that the Webers aren’t too concerned about the hurt feelings of Kyla’s ex and his kin folk, since having a Hollywood son in law is bound to make them a big deal in Okotoks and enhance their status within the community. In fact I’m sure that Kyla has been profiled ever night on the evening news since word got out! But ex boyfriend’s hurt feelings aside, the Weber Family might not want to go cashing in their winning lottery tickets just yet. Vaughn has a personality that is pretty much a convergence of bad habits – then there’s the booze, cocaine, strippers, and hookers – allegedly. So our little snow bunny might have a bit to put up with. Marrying a movie star isn’t all face lifts and eating disorders – there’s also the bad stuff! Still with her family’ support, I’m sure that she’ll stay in it for as long as she can bear it and as much as she can get out of it! After all – she’s lucky to have him, and that will define their relationship from the word “go”!
BTW Prince Charles has just been named Best Dressed by Esquire mag, and beat out Pres  Obama who came in 4th. Chuck can’t take all the credit though, since his Saville Row tailors, Gieves and Hawkes actually make the cloths – he just wears ’em.
Quantum leap ego trip
Speaking of the folk on Pennsylvania Ave, it has just leaked out that Michelle Obama has congratulated Beyonce for being the perfect role model. The 1st Lady told Beyonce that Sasha and Malia were lucky to have someone like her to look up to. Of course by extension that means America is lucky, and the rest of the world too. Perhaps the entire universe is some how blessed by Beyonce’s presence – right out to it’s most remote corners. Of course we know Mrs Pres said this ’cause Beyonce is going around telling everyone. Speaking of singularities – her ego is expanding out of all proportion!
Entertainment quote:
You spend the first forty years of your life trying to get in this fucking business, and the next forty years trying to get out. And then when you’re making the bread, who needs it?
~ Lee Marvin


Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

Sienna Miller Feels Judged

Sienna Miller says that she feels judged by other women.  In fact her exact words are :

“I’ve been at war, without a doubt. I’ve really experienced the judgment of women in the past year.”

“We say we want to be equal, but men don’t sit around bitching at each other. There’s no sisterhood.”

Or so she said in a recent Style Magazine interview. Now if Sienna feels judged then there might be some reason for it. Sienna has made a career out of going after married men, like Jude Law and Balthazar Getty, to the point where film acting has become merely a sideline. In both cases Sienna intruded upon established relationships with all the grace of a wrecking ball going through a wall!
So what’s the big deal?
Naturally there was some backlash. Sienna’s London flat got graffiti tagged with the word ‘slut’. Pictures of her frolicking with Getty made the tabs. You’ll probably recall them cause there the one’s with Bat’s hands on her cupcakes. Meanwhile  Getty was mewling away to the press claiming that he didn’t want to lose his wife, but he didn’t want to give up his drunken slut either. If only there were away he could have his cake and eat it too! Then things would work out for everyone; except the wife, and the mistress too for that matter.
“Don’t judge me, love me!”
That scandal set the paparazzi after Sienna like hounds after the hare. While Sienna snivelled for the camera with her “Why are you picking on me?” face, Mrs Getty managed to maintain her dignity in what must have been a highly humiliating situation. Sienna probably feels it was no big deal for Mrs Getty to keep cool; Sienna probably feels that she herself was the injured party. Bat’s wife didn’t have tabloid reporters running after her!
“Back me up here, losers!”

That would explain Sienna’s strange idea of ‘sisterhood’. She seems to think it means that other women will tolerate, condone, and even support her home wrecking antics. Why should she be to blame because other women couldn’t hang on to their husbands? If she has something that the other girls lack – like easy access – then they must be jealous! Why can’t women be more like men, and in the spirit of sisterhood celebrate her conquests? Perhaps it’s because she’s pointed herself at other women’s marriages like a torpedo at the side of a ship. If she’s not feeling much sisterhood these days, then perhaps it’s because she’s the one who dispensed with it first. Now you can’t have it both ways Sienna.

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

Trouble in Paradise

If you only need looks and a whole lotta money, then celebs would have it made. Instead they seem to make their way to rehab. Even their relationships seem doomed from the word go. For instance Prince Harry and his long time gal pal Chelsy Davy are ‘taking a break’. The BBC is reporting that Harry and Chelsy have decided to go their separate ways following an amicable split. It’s also following some of Harry’s more choice remarks – remarks that he was clever enough to record,  just in case anyone might miss them, and which then got leaked to the media. This of course got the whole Royals & Racism thing going again. It turns out that one of Prince Charles’ close club friends is an Asian gentleman that Chuck affectionately refers to as ‘Sooty’. Charles dismisses that as a term of endearment, I suppose in much the same way that his late wife was known as ‘headcase’. 
Supposedly the late revered Queen Mum had an interesting way of talking about her euro neighbours, whom she often referred to as Huns, Frogs, and Diego’s. She really was a national institution – if she hadn’t been who she was she might’ve wound up in one! I suppose that the Hun classification might also apply to most of her Sax Coburg Gotha immediate family. Prince Phillip has himself been recorded making some unenlightened references to ‘foreign types’, and even got caught making unflattering remarks about the Chinese while on a state visit to Beijing. Of course Phillip seems to be suffering from some kind of inbreeding related dementia – he once claimed that he hoped to be reincarnated as a virus so that he could make a contribution to the world population problem. If that’s his idea of helping then it doesn’t sound like it would work out any better then his contributions to humanity’s gene pool!
So you can see that the Royals don’t need any help getting bad press from Harry, though the lad’s about par for the course as far as the Royals are concerned (so far it appears that William & his Granny are the only ones with any grey matter in the entire clan). No sooner did Harry’s off colour comments hit the airwaves, then the Princes decided to close ranks against an upcoming Channel 4 documentary about their late lamented headcase, I mean Princess Diana. The Princes’ had decided that dredging the past up now – though conveniently distracting attention away from Harry’s comments , would be disrespectful. That’s somewhat ironic, since many considered Harry’s comments to be disrespectful. Imagine Harry, that it were your son being referred to as a ‘paki’ or a ‘towel head’ by a crown prince of the UK. I imagine that many of those families were proud to have sons placed in those regiments, and serving beside the prince. They didn’t need that sort of slap in the face.
Well that brings us back – the long way around – to Harry & Chelsy. Those two have been going out for 5 years already. The cynics, like Perez Hilton, are saying that this is some kind of game on Chelsy`s part to force the issue (Much the way that Miranda Kerr and Gisele Bundchen have tried to force the issue by repeatedly floating ‘false’ engagement stories. Bundchen had to do some public explaining – in the “I don’t know where people come up with this” vein – over this latest false alarm, which makes it seems as if she herself was the source of the story. Miranda even resorted to taking a break from Orlando Bloom, but only as far as a restaurant washroom. 30 mins later she was back playing footsie and eating sushi! Lucky for her he didn’t call her bluff!). By walking out she`s bound to make Harry come to his senses and propose to her, ignoring the thousands of other beautiful, ambitious and willing young women, by now throwing themselves in his direction, in the process. A masterful plan to be sure, but I like to think that the young woman has matured somewhat over the years. Perhaps she`s come to realize that she can do better than a thick headed load mouthed young lout – no matter how blue his blood is. I’m sure that an attractive and intelligent woman like Chelsy could find any number of rock stars and pro athletes who could conduct themselves with far more class than harry has shown. She could run the gamut of reality TV cast offs and be hard pressed to find any one worse. Let’s put it this way, if the young woman has more than a dozen brain cells between her ears, then the novelty of dating Prince Harry must’ve worn off by now! On the other hand Harry’s back on the market! Who’s up for a drunken lout with an attitude, ladies? He sounds like standard husband material!
The L Word: Lohan!
BTW – checkout the lively antics over @ gossiprocks.com. No celeb is off limits and the minute they step out of line – POW! For instance, currently under discussion – Linday Lohan back on the blow! It seems that chick got more problems than hot lesbian sex can cure. Gossiprocks is the Internet’s premier gossip discussion board!


Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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