In the Thicke of it

In my last post I reported that Robin Thicke and his lovely wife Paula Patton are splitsville. Now that’s despite being a powercouple of Brangelina proportions at least according to Robin’s dad Alan Thicke. Alan was the man who raised Kirk Cameron, on TV, into the fine upstanding man he is today. So Big Al must know something. That leaves us with the $64 000 question of what went wrong?

Well according to some sources things hit a sour note after Thicke’s performance at the VMA Awards. That’s where he got familiar with Miley Cyrus‘ rear end in front of an international audience. Not tthat this would phase Patton. She’s a pro and knows the score. When Miley Cyrus shakes her bum in the direction of Robin’s crotch, Patton knows that this is strictly business and nothing personal. Still it should be pointed out that no good comes from twerking, and as a public nuisance rates right up there with texting while driving and smiley face emoticons!

It was what happened after the VMAs that might be more noteworthy. Robin was out on the town and no doubt feeling full of himself. Everyone was talking about the the thing he just did, and the scandal as sticking to Cyrus. He  must’ve felt like Napoleon riding into Moscow in 1812. So he did what any young and full of himself fellow might do in that situation – he groped some random broad! According to some reports this got photographed, and the pix got sent to his wife Paula Patton!

Nor was this by any means the extent of Robin’s misbehavior. Robin was very recently in Paris. Now that’s an ideal setting for all kinds of romantic indiscretions. You just need the right location. Robin found that in the form of Club 79 West. That’s a nightclub – for those who need everything explained. Now night clubs are just choked full of strange temptations like booze, drugs, and pretty girls. Robin managed to run headlong into one of those temptations, and man this young lady is a doozy! As usual there were pictures. Just take a peep!

That Robin is everywhere you wanna be. Now when things reach this point then there’s explaining to be done. Robin himself has often said of his marriage that it’s “the most functional, dysfunctional marriage in Hollywood”. That statement has become a half truth – so even more commentary was required. Says Mr. Thicke “My only comment about the so-called scandalous photo would be that my wife and I are perfectly in love and very happily married, so, no complaints there.” Well some one must’ve had some complaint because now it looks like the pair are headed for divorce court.

There are probably many  lessons from these celebrity cautionary tales that are applicable to the everyday lives of real people like you & me. For instance if Miley Cyrus offers you the chance to go twerking with her, then think twice about it. Some powerful mojo might rub off! Also when you’re Napoleon riding into Moscow as conquering hero then take a lesson from history – Waterloo can’t be far off. Perhaps most importantly if you’re gonna flirt around on your wife try and be discreet about it in stead of shamelessly blatant. Women have their pride and publicly humiliating them can create a very bad situation. Let’s put it this way – if you piss off a woman, then the only light at the end of that tunnel might be an on coming freight train with your name on it! Just because the lines are blurred is no excuse not t o watch your step!

Now and after so many Napoleon references I’d be a jerk to hold this out on you so here it is – the post appropriate music video – presented to you in “eurovision”! I’m not sure if that’s anything like vidicolour of supermarionation, but Enjoy!

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Robin Thicke Breaks His Post-Split Silence

Proud Papa Alan Thinke once described his son Robin and daughter in law Paula Patton as a super couple, however it seems that the dynamic duo have run into a rough patch, perhaps involving kryptonite
Robin Thicke breaks silence on Paula Patton split

Alan Thicke was once quoted as describing his son and daughter in law ,Paula Patton, as a super couple, and compared them to Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie. At least he didn’t compare them to Superman & Wonder Woman.  If you’ve followed entertainment gossip to any degree then you know that show business is rough on relationships, even for super couples. So it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise that the Thicke’s have split.

These things can come apart in any number of ways: people grow apart, the pressures of respective career demands pull people in separate directions, or maybe Robin caught the missus spiking his smoothies with kryptonite. That last one would’ve been unforgivable! However after his Miley Cyrus tweaking episode it would be understandable.

Anyway here’s a brief video update on the Thicke split.

Robin and Paula seem like an attractive and personable couple. So it’s a shame. However there is other shameful news to take our minds off of it. Like Paula Deen and Duck Dynasty. Paula was a marque personality on one of those lifestyle networks. She taught American how to make tasty food by soaking everything in lard and then deep frying it beyond recognition. The idea seemed to be “wrap it in bacon and they will come”. So naturally she gained a following.

She lost that following after some unkind remarks of her’s became public. Those ignorant comments don’t need to be repeated here, but suffice it to say thats she ain’t gonna be getting any Martin Luther King jr. awards. So then it was scandal time. Internet posters vented their rage and acted like they wanted to see Deen smothered in lard and lowered into a deep fat fryer! Whether or not that would help her achieve a state of crispy golden perfection, I doubt it would change her attitudes any.

Now Paula at least had the very good sense to drop out of the public eye for a while. When you really fuck up bad sometimes it’s a good idea to give everyone a chance to forget about whatever it was that you said or did that pissed them off so mightily. However the recent comments of Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson have drawn Deen out of hiding.

You’ll recall that Robertson was interviewed in GQ Magazine. That because when you run a style based publication you naturally want the input of a guy in a John Deere cap and camouflage over hauls. It just doesn’t make sense. Robertson then went on to share his views on homosexuality – he doesn’t get it and thinks it’s against the Bible. He then went on to make some ‘insensitive’ comments about the plight of black people in the south. They were along the “so what was the big problem with that” vein. Some thought that Robertson had become officially worse than Hitler. Other speculated that he was sick of DD, and would do or say anything to get himself fired. If that was the plan it didn’t work. DD is A&E’s biggest draw – so they really couldn’t afford to lose him as long as viewers keep tuning in. Maybe tea bagger Sarah Palin’s impulsive defense of him helped.

So Paula has taken some exception to this. Basically Deen wants to know why Big Phil and the Quack Pack are getting some kind of a free pass on this while she was drawn and quartered (her only defender was the Rev Jesse Jackson who was quoted as saying he didn’t see how destroying her would be of any help). While her chicken fried empire was in jeopardy, Duck Dynasty kept rolling on like it was water off of a quack’s back. Meanwhile America’s collective sholestrol  levels are dropping dramatically – so Deen still has a difference to make! Here’s a brief video on that.

The public feels that there are no place for Deen’s rather obnoxious views. However there might still be an important contribution for her to make. As you may be aware Israeli actress Gal Gadot has been cast in a three picture Wonder Woman deal. This makes her the 1st official Wonder Woman since Lynda Carter. Gal’s tall, beautiful, a former member of the Israeli army, & a former Miss Israel. Plus she did her own stunts in several Fast & Furious flicks. There’s just one slight glitch. Gadot is a size 0. So she’s got to gain some weight before she can don the satin tights.

To that end Gadot has been on a weight gain intensive to bulk up for the role. The studio’s have send their top trainer over the the Promised Land in order to work with Gadot personally. So she’s into a grueling regime of physical training and martial arts. Basically they’ve done everything short of shooting the girl full of horse estrogen. She’s also on a 3500 calorie a day diet to get some meat on them bones. Every fashion model’s dream.

This is where Deen could come in. No one knows more about hi calorie diets than Paula. So why not let her redeem herself by sending her over to work with Gadot? She could act as her personal chef, & whip up some heavily buttered, thickly battered, deep fried goodies that could have Gadot bursting at the seams in no time flat! I doubt that Deen cooks kosher – but when the world is waiting for Wonder Woman, & the magic that she does, exceptions have to be made. The only possible problem with this scenario could be the possible side effects: like Gadot developing type 2 diabetes, or her pancreas exploding. That’s always an issue with Deen’s cookin’. Still a few serving of refried caramelized lard combined with grueling work outs and Gadot could be sprouting bulging new curves in no time!

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News & Not News

 Sexy Beast versus the bedroom tax

No one likes taxes, and when it comes to that issue Ray Winstone is more the same than most. Now you probably know Ray best as a Brit tough guy actor. However Ray’s current role it that of a vocal tax protester. Ray gave a recent interview to radio show Sexy Beast and he didn’t mince his words about the economic situation. Here’s what Winstone said –

“I can see myself leaving. I love this country but I’ve had enough.”
“I don’t see what we are being given back,” the 56-year-old added: “I just see the country being raped.”

The British star, who was recently seen on the big screen in a film version of British police drama The Sweeney, told the interviewer: “There are more holes in the roads than a tennis racket, we can’t build hospitals and fire stations are closing.”
As for politicians, the Londoner said: “I wouldn’t trust any of them. Maybe we should all stop voting and then something would be done about it.”
The interview was not the first time that Winstone has threatened to leave the UK.
In a 2008 interview with Live magazine he said: “This country isn’t going to the dogs. It’s gone to the dogs. We’re a mess.
“And do I really want to live in this mess any more? I feel bad saying it but I’m just not sure.”

a bit more nut

Tough talk – but the situation is bad. People are particularly pissed off with the bedroom tax. That penalizes people for having extra unused bedrooms. Trouble is that there are too many grey areas like divorced parents with part time custody, who keep a spare rooms for their visiting children; or parents of service persons who keep the spare room available for when their children visit while on leave. They’re hit the same as ‘selfish single persons’ who hog two bedroom apartments when they’d be just as comfortable in one bedrooms. The result is that rents on one bedrooms have gone through he roof (no pun intended) and are getting next to impossible to find. Naturally the bedroom tax is highly unpopular, and has become a focal point for tax protest in general. So when Ray talks he’s only sayin’ what everyone else is thinkin’, even if he has a bit more nut to guard.

fighting unfair Brit taxation since 1984

BTW this isn’t Winstone’s 1st brush with tax protest. Back in 1984 Winstone got himself seriously noticed on Brit cult TV classic Robin of Sherwood. The cast also featured movie actor Robert Addie as Sir Guy of Guisborne, noted stage actor Nicolas Grace as the Sheriff of Nottingham, and upcoming stage actor Michael Praed as Robin Hood/Robin of Loxley. Praed eventually left the show after two years to join the cast of Dynasty for one ill fated season as Prince Michael. His character didn’t survive the big season end kill off cliff hanger.

out on a limb in the 80’s

If you’ll recall season ending cliff hangers had become a ratings gimmick in the increasingly popular prime time soap serials of the mid to late 80’s. It started on Dallas, when villain JR Ewing was shot as the end of the 1982 season by an unknown assailant. People had to wait until the 1983 season to find out if JR lived and who shot him – it was his sister in law Kristen with whom he was cheating on his long suffering alcoholic wife Sue Ellen with. The ratings went through the roof and so it was widely imitated. By the time it got to Dynasty they ‘killed off’ half the regular cast including Joan Collins. Viewers would have to tune in next year to see who survived and who didn’t make the cut. Salary & negotiations rumors fueled speculation that it could be anyone including Joan Collins – so interest was keen. Michael Praed’s Prince Michael didn’t survive.

Praed was out on Dynasty,as well as Robin of Sherwood, where he was replaced by Sean Connery’s son and aspiring actor Jason Connery. Winstone appeared as Will Scarlett, and one of his rob from the rich give to the poor merry men duties was harassing tax collectors and taking their ill, though lawfully gotten,  gains.

here is series episode one

For those who fond of the old Robin of Sherwood series, here is episode one season, or we it all began, posted below. if you have and hour for viewing treat yourself to a TV classic.

Don’t call us we’ll call you, have a nice life, & other job loss cliches – Hassling Hasselbeck

In other news Elizabeth Hasselbeck is still allegedly off of the View. It was announced recently that she and other long time host Joy Behar would be leaving this season & replaced by possibly Brooke Shields and one other new host. Word had it that Joy was gone because she was sick and tired, although it wasn’t put quite that way. The semi official announcement from some spokesperson involved somewhere along the communication chain was that it had been 17 years already and it was beginning to feel like work – which is what it’s supposed to be technically – so since it wasn’t a joy anymore Behar wasn’t gonna do it.

Survivor voted off of the View?

As for Hasselbeck, she was just gone as if no explanation was necessary. She was considered to be a vocal uninformed representative of an at best sizable minority of Tea Baggers and gun owners. In other words she was the representative of barely acceptable narrow mindedness and all those out of date ideas that made a partial come back in spite of themselves – or a token conservative in a  liberal panel. Also women who weren’t offended by her politics might find her too much of a Stepford wife to identify with. That combo adds up to general unpopularity in a field that counts on likability. It was “Good riddance and no hard feelings” so to speak. Just like Soledad O Brien’s recent departure from CNN, no one was asking whether she was fired or quit.

Good riddance & no hard feelings

Now and according to gossip blog Celebitchy an inside source has confirmed that Liz was axed and it was over her right wing politics. According to CB –

the show’s resident conservative voice is being ousted after market research revealed that she isn’t popular with TV audiences.

“The viewers they polled all said she was too extreme and right wing,” the insider tells Us. “People did not watch the show because of Elisabeth. So they told her yesterday her contract would not be renewed.”

Hasselbeck Hollyspeak

Hasselbeck’s people could not be reached for comment. However a spokesperson for the show told US Magazine – “Elisabeth Hasselbeck is a valued member of The View and has a long term contract.” Now that’s not as bad as “Elizabeth and the View has mutually agreed to explore new possibilities and wish each other much success in the future. The latter is only Hollyspeak for ‘fuck off and blow away‘.

Keibler fails to pin Clooney for an emotional three count

Finally there’s a story that’s hardly news because it’s more of the same. George Clooney and his future ex Stacey Kiebler are rumored to be on the verge of a bust up. As the pair approach the year and a half mark sources say that it looks like the writing is on the wall. US Weekly claims the pair have a waning romance resulting from having nothing in common.  They also go on to say that Kiebler is feeling the 18 year age difference. She wants to rock n roll all night & party every day. Meanwhile the New York Daily News claims that the pair have grown so cool towards each other that they are barely talking.

opportunity opening 

Now the reason that this isn’t news is because Clooney has been a confirmed bachelor ever since his brief marriage to Talia Balsam. He has dated numerous women but no one has lasted more than 5 years. His last relationship with Elizabeth Canalis lasted about 2 years, which was about the same length as the relationship before that (unless that one lasted 6 months). So people figured former wrestling star Kiebler’s time was about up. So it looks like aspiring reality TV stars – ex waitresses/models are gonna be as excited as the cardinals at conclave over the chance of a life time opening up again. No word who Clooney has lined up next, but word has it that his people have contacted John  McCain for the full list of his 2008 VP running mate choices.

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