You only get out of something what you put into it – unless you’re crooked. Then you can get much much more. Take charity for instance. When a celeb donates time and money to a good case usually the cause gets the cash and some PR. Meanwhile the celebs get to heighten their profiles and maybe even get to feel justifiably good about themselves. Depending on where the line is drawn. Sometimes a celeb might get much much more out of it. Take celebrity auctions for instance.

Everyone assumes that these things run on the all proceeds to charity principle, and sometimes they do. In the case of stars like Charlie Sheen, U2’s the Edge, Steven Tyler and even Miley Cyrus and Sienna Miller that’s exactly what happens. Every cent gets handed over to charity. In the case of EBay’s Givingworks only 10% of the proceeds have to be donated to a good cause to qualify. So what happens to the rest? Well the charitable do gooder can keep that in their own pocket if they like! You’ve heard about that 90% administration costs so consider this robbing the rich to give to the poor while taking a huge cut for expenses! Except this might be more like the rich and famous robbing the middle class! So let that be a lesson to potential do gooders – if you’re only gonna give ten percent then make sure it’s the top ten percent, you’re your intentions might get called into question!

So why should anyone care? Well the gal of the hour Kim Kardashian has apparently been a Givingworks participant for years! Giving is close to Kim’s heart, which is why she recently went to Haiti with Oprah & Sean Penn. It was just after the bust up of her 72 day marriage so give her some credit – most of us would be wallowing in self pity! Having a marriage fall apart that fast has gotta hurt no matter how much you made on the deal, and especially when people act like they some how blame you for something. So getting out there among the little people can help take your mind of things.

Kim goes a courting

It also helps your rep. Kim big on that. When Old Navy hired a Kim-a-like, Kardashian took them to court. She demanded 20 mill in damages claiming to her reputation. With that in mind ON launched a sort of investigation. For one thing if it was alleged that they’d damaged Kimbo’s rep, then exactly how much rep was there to be damaged in the first place?

Old Navy’s parent corp is The GAP. Their lawyer Louis Petrich has concocted a plan to try and determine the true worth of Kardashian’s rep. One of the things that he may be looking over is a scathing review by the New York Times regarding Kim’s Manhattan pop up store. I think that got called a fashion desert or something.

The idea may have something to do with the principle of being libel proof. Now that’s not anything like being bullet proof but the opposite. You see when a person is considered libel proof the idea is that their rep is already so low that it would be impossible to damage it any further. Just like Richard Nixon after Watergate! Whatever that GAP is cookin’ up rumor has it that Reggie Bush is gonna be called to the witness stand. Bush may have started dating Melissa Molinaro – the Kim look alike in the advertisement.


Jesse James threatens to write book – anti climax expected!

running out of tiger blood!

After taking a few days off to mourn Charlie Sheen’s gradual return to sanity – God that man came up with some interesting shit! – I’m back to dish, though with much less inspiring shit to work with. For those of you afraid that it has something to do with Justin Bieber’s hair, or Kim Kardashian revealing she has had silicone injections but won’t say where, don’t worry. I can offer livelier fare, but it ain’t much liver.

who’s who

Today’s offering involves a gal more sympathetic than Jennifer Aniston. IN fact she’s only slightly less sympathetic than Rihanna! This chick would be none other than America’s Sweetheart – well one of ’em anyway. The whole America’s Sweetheart deal is kind of like the Heavy Weight Boxing Championship: there’s about a half dozen belts on the go and the public has lost interest. She’s also one of the reining Queens of Romcoms; I guess that’s kind of like the Heavyweight Sweetheart deal. Anyway it’s not Katherine Heigl, but poor humiliated Sandy Bullock.

if you can’t find fresh freaks then send in the clowns

If you’ll recall about a little over a year ago Sandy was on top of the world. She had a blockbuster film career, a skeezy tattooed husband with a pick up truck for the kind of ‘real people‘ credibility Angelina Jolie hasn’t had since she stopped wearing billy Bob Thornton’s blood around her neck, real affection from the movie going public, oh yeah and she had that Oscar in her hot little hand too. It looked like everything was coming up Sandy, until the shit hit the fan.


The shit hit the fan in the form of her husband’s sleazy mistress Michelle Magee. Magee was nicknamed Bombshell – at least that was her working name, and she was the sort of greasy bitch that Tiger Woods wouldn’t have touched with a shitty stick wrapped in an asbestos condom. Not unless he was on his usual Ambien & Viagra cocktail anyway. What Bombshell worked at was stripping and posing for fetish websites. By fetish think vomit and dog shit. It’s all about what don’t wash out! So the chick had a serious career she was working on, with white power and home wrecking as a sideline. All work and no play will leave people asking “why is there stale vomit in your hair?

Vanilla Gorilla makes a monkey out of Bullock!

The shit couldn’t have hit the fan at a worse time either, since as I mentioned people had just watched Sandy pick up her shiny chrome celebrity validation award in a highly televised ceremony. Sandy had been waiting for this moment for a very long time – ever since she wanted to be an actress when she grew up – so she made a big deal out of it. Unfortunately she made a big deal out of the Vanilla Gorilla too. She made some public comments about how real he was, how he’d made her more real, and how he was charming the pants off of Morgan Freeman (although hopefully not with some cooked up scheme that involved getting him to bend over!). In short she said he’d made a Hollywood actress a better person – which is no small feat. Then it got too real.

who’s Ricky Gervias?

Hot on the heels of this all these scuzzy photos of Bombshell licking dog vomit up in her under wear while baring her swastika tattoos to the world came up. Apart from maybe Mel Gibson no one was impressed. It made Sandy look lower than all those mentioned at the intro of the last Golden Globes (almost forgot about that since Charlie Sheen’s wild over the top media blow out didn’t you?). The difference was that this shit actually stuck, and for days and days after. What was sticking was a question: If Jesse was really a bad piece of shit, like we’re finding out; and he was really the most important person in Sandy’s life, like she said; then how could she not know about any of this nazi shit? Something smelled rotten, and it wasn’t just the leftovers from some fetish sex orgy; though that might have been part of it.

there’s more to outrage than pretty pretty dresses

Well then if this question has been plaguing your mind, then you’re as socially aware and conscious as Natalie Portman on a pre Oscar clothing spree. So you might also be interested to know that Vanilla Gorilla has a new book coming out. Normally no one would dignify that book with the purchase price. They’d simply wait for the National Enquirer to give them the gist of it, or borrow it from the public library. However this time there’s a very good reason to put our high minded outrage aside and indulge our morbid curiosity. The reason is that Jesse addresses the Sandy question.


According to Jesse in his new book Sandy probably had no idea about his fringe interests in nazism and fetish sex. For one thing she was never really that interested in any part of his life. That included their time in bed together. Jesse claims that bed with Sandy involved books, newspapers, scripts – the kind of shit grease monkeys with Hitler tattoos hate, and as much as 6 dogs. The dogs didn’t even figure in the way he liked either – they were lying affectionately at the foot of the bed, instead of licking fresh maggots out of her vagina! Now Jesse hasn’t come right out and said that she drove him into the arms of sex offenders because she was too damned boring in bed. Gentleman Jesse just left that to be inferred. However some are saying that he has come right straight out and implied that the ex is a lesbian or something, allegedly! Here’s some excerpts of what he did say.

“Jesse would always say that Sandra went to bed with a book or script and five or six of their dogs, leaving little room for him in bed and no chance to have sex,” the source said.

“He also told friend that he and Sandra had zero physical attraction, and they hadn’t had sex for months before they split. Sandra is on edge because Jesse could justify his cheating by creating the false impression that she withheld sex from him or is a lesbian.”

Publishing insiders say that Jesse’s book royalties are tied to how much he reveals about Sandra. She’s agonizing over the possibility that Jesse will spill heartbreaking details of her failure to conceive, and even accuse her of condoning his Nazi fascination.

“Jesse owns a large collection of Nazi memorabilia, including a surfboard with a life-size Hitler doing the Nazi salute that he kept in his office at the garage. He also had swastikas, helmets and Nazi uniforms at the home he shared with Sandra. While Sandra wasn’t a fan of his Nazi stuff, did she turn a blind eye to it? If Jesse tells the world she was OK with his collection, that could come back to haunt her, especially since her late mother was German.”

put the titillate back in tittle tattle!

So that should clear everything up, unless it makes everything a lot more confusing. That’s the problem with tell alls, especially when they tell you nothing. I say if you’re gonna tittle tattle than have the guts and basic honesty to rat out the bastards like a mafia fink trying to get into the witness protection program! That means all bets off, no holds barred, and the Marquis of Queensbury rule book gets tossed right out the window! If not, then don’t waste everyone’s time by getting their hopes up and then pussy footing around ’cause your lawyer told you to be careful and Bullock’s business a manger said “don’t worry something can be worked out!” You’re just taking precious work away from Andrew Morton. At least Jesse’s people are still making some noises about a possible Jesse James ‘alleged‘ sex tape. Though it should be said that the alleged tape doesn’t involve Sandra Bullock, but Miss Tila Tequila and a German Sheppard named Shitler! That ought fill some attention in the post Charlie Sheen celebrity outrage vacuum!


Big Time Weird

Celebrity Götterdämmerung: Twilight of the little glitter gods

hate literature, links, soft porn, and other filth!

continued the redefinition of celebrity. Once stars were regarded as gods walking amongst us. The Internet seems to have helped blow their covers. As more and more info got out, people began to discover what their favourite stars were really like. That made image management impossible. People knew that Tom Cruise was into Scientology, and that he had some strange relationships with the women in his life; they also learned that Mel Gibson was an anti Semite with some odd relationships of his own. The result was that the heroes became zeroes and and celebrity was redefined interns of buffoonery. Fame became a circus and the celebrities were the clowns.

Biggest Little Moments of 2010

Some embraced that role. Paris Hilton certainly made it as a celebrity 2.0. With her tongue in her cheek it was obvious that she never intended anyone to take her seriously. Sarah Palin wasn’t interested in being taken seriously either. She seemed content if people bought her books, watched her series, voted for her daughter on Dancing With The Stars, and possibly keep her in mind as a future presidential candidate. So she was free to play the clown all the way to the bank. If her New York Times best seller record is any indication she might not need to be taken too seriously to get in. Politics isn’t immune to celebrity 2.0.

If Sarah Palin didn’t prove that single handedly then one of the big scandals of days past surely did. It involved a slick little operator who was a pretty good lawyer. He was also an attractive a personable fellow with bog time aspirations! The man was John Edwards. Though he looked full of promise – he was to deliver more than anyone bargained for.

John Boy loses innocence, runs for President

John Boy Edwards ran for the Democratic Party’s presidential nom against Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama. So he was a long shot from the word go. With his good looks and charm he wasn’t much of a long shot and some folk really thought that the little prick had a chance. Plus he had his wife Elizabeth Edwards to back him to the hilt. That ran into a snag when Elizabeth developed terminal cancer. While pundits speculated whether or not Edwards might drop out of the race to share Elizabeth’s last days with her, John Boy announced that he was still in it to win it. Winning the presidency was important to Elizabeth, Edwards informed the public, so he was gonna follow through “win one for the Gipper” style. He left the American Public to infer that not voting him in would destroy a dying woman’s last wish.

The man who would be king and his palace balls worker

Sure enough more started emerging about John Boy. Like he had a flaky mistress called Rielle Hunter. Hunter looked like a younger version of Camilla Parker Bowles, and was a failed actress turned yoga instructor! When she met John Boy she determined to win him over with flattery and by playing to his ambition. She told him that he had a hot aura in person that didn’t show up on TV. She added that since she worked in the media she could help him with that. That night was the first time they made love. Only goes to show that she had his number! Some people are just standing around waiting to be lead astray.

Schiavo scenarios

As time went on Rielle groomed John Boy to be president by giving him astrological and spiritual guidance, as she positioned herself to be another Nancy Reagan. They also made love in Elizabeth’s bed, talked shamelessly about how great it would be once she kicked off – so they could finally live it the way it was supposed to be, and conceived a love child. If John Boy wasn’t as bad as those mother’s who kill their own children so that they can go out and party (Susan Smith & Casey Anthony) then it was only because he was a low key psychopath. In spirit he was just as eager for his wife to die, but just wouldn’t get around to pulling the trigger. Still I wouldn’t trust him in a Terri Schiavo ‘do not resuscitate’ scenario!

“I’d like to take responsibility for my mistakes because that’s what people do when there’s no other way to get off the hook.”

Well once his phony little cover got blow so did his presidential aspirations. He’s so radioactive right now that he wouldn’t make it on reality TV! Some others profited from his mistakes though. Like the National Enquirer. Making up for dropping the ball on the Tiger Woods’ story (they knew years ago but instead of publishing it bargained to get Tiger on the cover of an associated mag) they broke the Edwards’ Affair with a vengeance. They got a Pulitzer Prize nomination for that too. Now in fairness it should be said that they nominated themselves, but he committee did accept the nomination. So it’s official (as official as Megan Gale as Wonder Woman, anyway.).

shitty politti

Some one else made out like a bandit too. That would be John Edwards’ right hand man. This guy had been with him through the early years of teen aged ambition, and right through to his fall from grace. As he tells it he knew right off that John Boy was going places and he intended to ride along on his coat tales. In an ABC interview he talks candidly about Edwards being his ticket to the big time, as his Shania Twain lookalike wife sits supportively at his side. He also says that he knows exactly where every one of the bodies are buried. Now that John Boy ain’t in no position to be helpful anymore there’s no more reason to keep mum. In fact spilling the beans could even have it’s rewards (like how much did he get paid for the interview and when is the inevitable book coming out?).

Nostalgia for what never was – once and future Kennedys

In the following video the man himself speaks with ABC news about how bad Edwards really was. You may find yourself shaking your head repeatedly during the video. Just remember that though the guy was in a position to know more than anyone about all this sleazy monkey business (Referencing Gary Hart! The dems have gotta stop taking these TV dinner versions of JFK seriously. Camelot is gone – get over it. Trying to recapture the magic has only lead to mischief!) he probably has an angle. So you might have to ask yourself how credible he really is. One thing about politics is that it really brings ’em out of the wood work! Think of this as more food for thought than credible edibles.


Oh yeah and finally a special Wondertrash New Years to Lindsay Lohan up in the Betty Ford Clinic. It really sucks to have to spend the year’s No 1 party day locked up in a semi institutional setting. Especially when you’re Hollywood’s No 1 party girl! So keep your chin up kid. Remember that there’s worse off than you, like the poor buggers who have nothing better to do on NYE than read Wondertrash (or lower yet, write it!). That also raises the question of what we can expect from celebrities in the year to come. I’m playing the percentages and predicting more of the same.



Comeback kids

‘Wound modern, aged band-waggon.’

Yesterday’s post covered the sad strange tale of Randy and Evi Quaid. They are the former B List entertainers who ran afoul of a Hollywood business cult called the Starwhackers, and wound up having to run to Canada to seek political asylum, and to speak out freely on organized crime in Hollywood. It’s sounds funny when you put it that way. That’s probably why everyone laughed about it. Though people laughed, they couldn’t help paying attention. The tale just kept getting weirder with accusations that starwhackers in suits had killed Heath Ledger and others for the bottom line. They even produced a hit list of names like Britney Spears (currently being black mailed by her bodyguard) and Lindsay Lohan (currently being held against her will in rehab, but being charged with the bill for treatment!). People laughed, but we also believed Balloon Boy’s dad, and that chick who splashed her own face with acid outside Starbuck’s and then claimed a black woman attacked her.

running a shit treadmill – not literally, figuratively!

Since people didn’t believe a word of this, and since the Quaids kept on talking and talking and talking about it; their credibility kept tumbling farther and farther down the toilet. That’s bad since the Quaids allegedly owe a lot of money, and are gonna owe even more in legal fees. Randy last worked seriously in Brokeback Mountain, but turned around and sued the producers for a bigger piece of the action when the film did better than expected. Perhaps that’s when he first antagonized the Starwhackers. Short answer is that with nothing coming in and plenty going out Randy is gonna need some kind of good paying work lined up and soon. However with his current image troubles the only plausible line they could get into would be reality TV. “On The Lam” with Randy and Evi Quaid – think of it like Dog the Bounty Hunter but from the other side of the looking glass.

IN Hollywood you can recover from anything – even TV!

Still you can’t count anyone out. About 5 years or so ago Robert Downey Jr was considered a done deal. Like many troubled performers of today, Downey’s then substance issues left him unreliable and unemployable. This even though the talented actor had earned an Oscar nomination for his brilliant work in Chaplin. A brief stint on Alley McBeal didn’t help his creditability either; since for a former A List movie star to resort to TV is the equivalent of hitting the skids! “I sold the mansion, I asked friends for money, and God help me I even took some TV work!” – “Oh my! I had no idea that things were that bad!” Yet that was back in the days when Tom Cruise was the #1 action hero and Mel Gibson was Hollywood’s most beloved leading man. A lot can change in a relatively short time!

‘Burned, goddamned wonga-wonga’

Some times things don’t change in any time. In fact the remain more the same than ever and yet things turn out OK (a thought on tonight’s American elections?). This would be the case with Charlie Sheen. Now Sheen has had so many brushes with serious trouble that it’s a wonder how he managed to stay off of the Starwhackers’ celebrity hit lists. In fact far from being on nay hit lists Charlie is so waterproof that you’d think he made a deal with darkness or something.

bad trips and strange bedfellows

Charlie has had a long history of booze, pills, hookers loose women of ill fame, and brushes with the law. His split with ex Denise Richards was one of the ugliest that Hollywood had seen, and it’s seen some doozies! They have since made up but now Charlie has gone on to divorce his current Brooke Mueller. IN fact Charlie had violated his probation from a previous incident with Mueller (The Christmas Day Knife Fight) – with 8 days left – during his current misadventure.

laughing all the way to the nut house

That misadventure occurred while Sheen was out for a date with his ex and the two kids. Being Charlie Sheen he invited a hooker/porn star to meet him during this family time. Not that Charlie let the worlds collide in some seamy mess. He took the hooker to the Plaza Hotel for some fun time. Fun time included booze, drugs, a flip out, $7000 in damage to the hotel room, a trip in a police car, and a detention in a psych ward. Oh yeah, and he also violated his probation with 8 days left on the clock – as previously mentioned!

So you’d think that Charlie’s goose was nuked by now. Well if that’s what you’re thinking then you can stop. Charlie is out of the nut house, complete with supportive words of confidence from Denise RichardsCharlie’s one in a million, who makes 20 million a year!” What’s more he’s back on the set of his hit TV series Two and a Half Men!

winning the numbers game

Now if that sounds amazing then just stop to think about it. Last week, when Charlie’s personal life went into full tilt, his TV show registered a 13. 6 million viewers, which is an increase of 7% in that very important 18-49 male demographic! What does that statistical gobbledygook mean in plain English? Last year it meant $155.1 million in ad revenue for CBS, and it also made Charlie Sheen the highest paid actor on TV.

Charlie has standards “I’m no Andy Dick!”

So as long as Charlie can keep the number up he can flip out as much as he likes. Just as long as no one gets hurt. Or if anyone does get hurt that they were asking for it. The industry does have standards, in a Dexter sort of way. I just hope that Randy & Evi Quaid can live with that. If they can then they might have a professional future. If they can really get with it then they could have a professional future well after their personal future runs out! That’s fame for ya baby!

BTW anyone really can make a come back in Hollywood. Remember when Lynda Carter did Wonder Woman back in the 70’s? Well not only did Lynda make a tremendous comeback from alcoholism and scandal (her husband was implicated in the BCCI banking scandal back in the 80-‘s along with his law partner Clark Clifford. Some of you might have heard of that guy but to brief the rest, he was the guy who ran the Democratic Party back in the days when Sen Joseph Kennedy used to call him “sir”), but Wonder Woman is poised to make a come back too.

Over 30 years since a live action Wonder Woman series first came to TV producer David E Kelley – creator of Ally McBeal (Calista Flockhart owes him so much; she wouldn’t have Harrison Ford without him!) plans to bring the comic book warrior princess back tot he small screen. He announced the intention a few months back. Now there’s even a name associated with the part – Tanit Pheoenix. She’s a South African model that isn’t half bad looking, but no Wonder Woman. Never mind, the rumours help build interest in the project. While it gains more and more support Kelley can go on to find some one better suited to the part, like Julia Voth!


Hollywood Refugees

Is it possible for some one to take over control of every aspect of your life? If you’re married, or if you’re Randy Quaid, then the answer is “yes“. How does this secret band of Hollywood Star Whackers take control of an unsuspecting celebrity? Well according to Randy Quaid they tag you cell phone, put bogus stories about you into the media, and of course set up power of attorney documents giving them access to your royalty stream in perpetuity! After that they’ve got you right where they want you. They only thing left for them is to get you out of the way.

That’s what Randy Quaid was afraid would happen to him and his wife Evi when their strange adventure began. It started with some legal beefs over unpaid bills. Quaid claims that he and his wife were totally set up. That’s the way these ‘total businessmen‘ operate. Then things got gradually worse, until the Quaids had become something of a joke in the entertainment community. With their reputation ruined and the law closing in with a vengeance, that left the Quaids looking for sanctuary. They attempted to find that in Vancouver, Canada, until the long arm of the law closed in on them there too. Once they were picked up outside a bank it looked like deportation, and a messy trial/media spectacle would follow.

The Quaids have so far short circuited that. They applied to the Canadian government for protection, claiming that they were refugees from Hollywood who only wanted to be left alone by the criminals in the United States. If they were sent back then their lives would be in immediate jeopardy from the band of above the law star whackers who’ve offed the likes of Heath Ledger and others.

Now when that first came out people thought that it must be a lame ploy to avoid deportation. Canada won’t sent people back if they’re in immanent danger of being killed. However if it’s a ploy then the Quaids are taking it to the next level. Randy & Evi gave an interview on Good Morning America today in which they elaborated on their strange conspiracy theories. Not only did they give some details on what they believe is happening to them, but also named some names about who else might be at risk. According to Bonny & Clyde, Lindsay Lohan needs to watch her step – but not in the way that Dr. Drew means (If there are star whackers out there then Dr. Drew has got to be in on it. He already demonstrated criminal tendencies with his “frame her up better than the Mona Lisa” comments about Lohan.). Britney Spears is on thin ice too. Their master stroke was left for Mel Gibson.

According to the couple Gibson has been targeted by the Star Whackers. What’s more Oksana Grigorieva was ‘sent in‘ to ‘destroy him‘. Now that’s consistent with their thinking. Gibson has been very successful, so his royalty stream has gotta flow like Niagra Falls, even after all those unpleasant telephone recordings about rose gardens and blow jobs. All some shrewd star whacker would have to do is get him declared mental, take over power of attorney, and make sure that he’s discredited in the media so that he will neither be believed or defended! That would explain everything except the tapes themselves. Evi has an answer for that one thought – “He was drugged! Some one slipped him a mickey!” she claimed on GMA. Most people who know about Mel assume that he was drunk and that no one else slipped him anything that he wasn’t voluntarily sipping. Still if some one wanted to slip him a mickey, it probably wouldn’t be too hard – “Hey Gibson – wanna drink?

But enough commentary. Here are the Quaids in their own words from that Good Morning America interview! They explain everything including how close Dennis Quaid is to becoming another Hollywood casualty. He’s already been pigeon holed into making crap films, according to Evi. Dennis has also been mysteriously alienated from his brother and sister in law. The “crap movies” comment may have had something to do with that. You know how sensitive performers can be. However Evi reassures viewers that Dennis is talented, so no slight was meant. Here now is the interview, so put on your tin fiol hats and be prepared to be amazed.


A compelling argument. Lucidly communicated too. They’ve answered everything. In fact the only stone left unturned would be a possible Diana Napolis aka Curio Jones connection. I’ve always wondered why that particular story got buried by the media. I guess no one messes with Jennifer Love Hewitt! Now before you poo poo these ideas remember that stranger things have happened, unless Marylin Munroe really did od on sleeping pils. Besides,Hollywood Star Whackers anagrams to Swarthy, hallowed crooks That’s gotta be more than coincidence!

It’s easy to make fun of the Quaids. For one thing they’re obviously crazy. However let’s move out of our comfort zones for a moment, and assume for the sake of argument that they’re sane. For one thing they’re not saying anything that hasn’t been said before. When the late lamented Michael Jackson passed on from Neverland to the final neverland, his own sister Janet claimed that he’d been helped along by people around him that had decided he was worth more dead. At the time we assumed that it was grief talking and so everyone cut her slack. Yet it has just been announced that Michael Jackson was Forbes Top Dead Earner last year. He made $270 million, and that’s more than Oprah! Now Jackson’s family say that they haven’t seen one thin dime of this. The business managers pay the bills but won’t issue them any checks. So where’s the money going?

Also, in some twitter posts some time back Courtney Love claimed that she was being ripped off by a group of business managers who had set up bogus social insurance numbers for her late husband Kurt Cobain. They then proceeded to take out mortgages on these SIN’s. Love claimed that these financial shenanigans had left her almost broke.

Now when Courtney starts talking strange people assume that she’s on something and they stop paying attention. Yet a pattern is developing. So many Hollywood stars passed on back in 2009 that people began referring to it as the year of death. It seemed that there were more deaths than might be expected from coincidence alone. So who’s to say whether or not there might be something to the talk of conspiracies and star whackers.

BTW happy birthday to the world’s most beautiful woman Aishwarya Rai.

Incidentally, one of Ms. Rai’s biggest pet peeves is people who pronounce her lat name as Buchanan! You can call her the most beautiful woman in the world though, well right after this chick!


Rick Sanchez Fired From CNN – The Damned Jews Got Another One!

the following is written in conspiracy theory form, as a satire of ideas that are becoming more apparent in our society

News, views, and Jews!


Rick Sanchez used to be an on air personality with CNN. Nowadays he’s hotter under the collar than George Dubya in a burqa. So what’s got Rickie’s hijab in a twist? Well Jon Stewart doesn’t like him and only gets away with it because the media is controlled by Jews! That puts guys like him at a disadvantage. Guys like Sanchez, are in his words guys whose parents worked hard, who were never quite white enough (“white enough” is WASP as defined by the ruling secret Jewish kabal!), and who never had anything handed to him.

Didn’t Carroll O Connor used to sing this song at the beginning of All In The Family?

Guys like Stewart, on the other hand, are guys from the college educated middle class. Their father’s have degrees, while their mothers have part time jobs of choice that allow them to maintain their dignity and afford pretentious off season vacation packages. Their parents send them to prep schools where they wore penny loafers with dimes in them just to be assholish, and learn to stick their nose in the air by thinking that everyone else is stupid.

a couple of teabags shy of a pot, or just thought no one was listening to Sirius

So naturally there’s an ‘animosity’. That animosity spilled out last night during an astonishing Mel Gibson type radio rant out featuring Sanchez on Pete Dominick’s Sirius XM show. Rick was pissed off about getting replaced as CNN anchor in favour of an Elliot “Quagmire” Spitzer Show (The Jews again! When will they leave this man in peace?), and to promote his perhaps ironically titled new book “Conventional Idiocy“. Sanchez was mighty steamed about getting the ax, so he had a full head of steam to work off.

Guys like the snob on MASH, not the drunks on Cheers!

Now he had the explanation for CNN. The guys there just don’t get it. They don’t get it because they don’t get where he’s coming from. Where he’s coming from – in more or less his own words – is an ‘off white’ background of hard knocks where dads did real jobs for chicken feed and their sons didn’t get into Ivy League colleges with a letter from the bishop or local state senator. So when they see him they just see some ‘latino’.

“It’s not just the right that does this. ‘Cause I’ve known a lot of elite, Northeast establishment liberals that may not use this as a business model, but deep down, when they look at a guy like me, they look at a … they see a guy automatically who belongs in the second tier and not the top tier … White folks usually don’t see it, but we do, those of us who are minorities … Here, I’ll give you my example, it’s this, ‘You know what, I don’t want you anchoring anymore. I really don’t see you as an anchor, I see you more as a reporter. I see you more as a Jon Quinones.’ You know, the guy on ABC. That’s what he told me, he told me he saw me as Jon Quinones. Now, did he not realize that he was telling me, ‘when I see you I think of Hispanic reporters?’ ‘Cause in his mind, I can’t be an anchor, an anchor’s what you give the high profile white guys.”

Rickie has some ‘splainin’ to do

Now what Rickie actually says is that when he sees when he looks at Jon Quinones is a Hispanic reporter. Though “Jon Quinones” are fighting words, let’s not get sidetracked on side issues when there are bigger fish to fry. Fish like that little know it all Jon Stewart. Stewart is similar to those North Eastern Bean Towner types except more so. More so means raised in New Jersey with over educated parents and a temperature controlled silver spoon up his ass (that probably came with batteries & a remote control – you know what ‘those people’ are like with science & gadgets). That’s why the little snot boy just has no respect for anyone who isn’t a member of his little junior chamber of commerce clique of privileged, uptight, smugness. However let’s let Sanchez say it for himself:

“It happens all the time. I think to a certain extent, Jon Stewart and Colbert are the same way. I think Jon Stewart’s a bigot … Yeah, I think he’s a bigot … I think he looks at the world through his mom who was a schoolteacher and his dad who was a physicist, or something like that.

“Great, I’m so happy that he grew up in a suburban, middle class New Jersey home with everything that you could ever imagine.”

Jon Stewart thinks he’s a big man – a regular Jerry Lewis!

Now bigot is a strong word. When Dominick asked Sanchez to be more specific – that’s supposed to be his job as a serious journalist, Sanchez comes up short. It was as if he were just throwing the word around for effect. Just to prove he’s serious though, he reiterates:

“I think Jon’s show is essentially prejudicial … against anybody who doesn’t agree to his point of view, which is very much a white, Liberal establishment point of view. He can’t relate to a guy like me, he can’t relate to a guy whose dad worked all his life. He can’t relate to somebody who grew up poor,” Sanchez said.

Dominick, who was previously the “Daily Show’s” warm-up comic, continued to press Sanchez for specific examples of bigoted conduct by Stewart.

Sanchez ended up attempting to back off the comments slightly. “I’ll take the word ‘bigot’ back. I’ll say prejudicial — uninformed,” he said.

Rick Sanchez’s minority report

Now Sanchez may not have all his facts straight – which as a serious journalist makes him a prime target for satirists like Stewart – but he does have a point. Jewart does seem to pick on Sanchez for some reason. Maybe it’s because he’s intimated by Sanchez’s macho. Maybe it’s because he resents Stewart’s – supposedly – up tight upper middle class Jewish American upbringing. It’s the kind of angst non Jews feel every time they see Biloxi Blues: “If only I’d grown up a whiny little momma’s boy then I could be funny too!“. Then again Stewart picks on almost everyone. So how does he keep getting away with it since he’s not that funny?

The appeal of the Daily Show is lost on me. It seems awkwardly satirical with some downplayed PC ass kissing thrown in. It’s hardly good enough to justify the fuss. In fact it’s barely better than Bill Maher (though much less obnoxious!). Once the genuinely funny and genuinely clever Stephen Colbert came along with some genuine satire, Stewart should have been obsolete. Rick Sanchez has an answer for that one too.

those kind? “Nose” kind!

You see There are a lot of guys like Jon Stewart at CNN. There are a lot of guys like that at other networks to. Whether by consensus of mutual interest or deliberate, nefarious design – these no gooders control the media! When I say a lot of guys I don’t mean Freemasons, though they control freemasonry (and Hollywood, Las Vegas, & the Vatican! That’s part of their insidious plan to control the world by controlling America, and to control America by controlling the entertainment, the gambling and the religion. Although America doesn’t identify it’s self as a Catholic country, a disturbing number of American’s are, and even one President was, Catholic! You dirty mics no who you are! The fact that they managed to get a Catholic elected president, but managed to keep their boys behind the scenes by not getting a Jew elected president should tell you everything about how these types operate! As of this time Disneyland is still in pretty good shape, but it’s getting Jewed up with a vengeance!). They don’t have secret handshakes – though then again they might for all we really know. These guys are Jews, and they like to look out for each other. Kind of like a mafia! Here’s exactly what Sanchez had to say on that:

“Yeah, very powerless people. [laughs] He’s such a minority. I mean, you know, please. What are you kidding? I’m telling you that everybody who runs CNN is a lot like Stewart and a lot of people who run all the other networks are a lot like Stewart. And to imply that somehow they, the people in this country who are Jewish, are an oppressed minority?”

That was both concise and lucid! He summed it up admirably! Now the powers that be, and I shouldn’t have to tell you who that is *winkstein* *winkstein* are trying to shut him up! As of posting time CNN had made an announcement that Sanchez was no longer working with their channel. I guess he must’ve violated some of their little Nazi thought crime rules or something.

Dirty Sanchez, or was Mel Gibson right?

Anyway they made this announcement way in advance of any announcement by Sanchez about his future. They didn’t want to give the man a chance to step out with dignity! Not that those kind understand dignity. You’d think that they pushed Sanchez because they were afraid that Rickie wouldn’t do the honourable thing and jump! So if there’s been no official statement from Sanchez on this, it’s because one is no longer necessary now that the deck has been stacked! So when attempts to reach Sanchez for an official comment on why he went Mel Gibson on the radio repeatedly went unanswered, it’s not because he’s gutless or anything. Let’s just say that the Jews got another one! Besides I’m sure that Rick is taking some needed time off to catch up on reading the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Did you know that reading that thing is like reading today’s news! It’s like it was written by Nostrodamus or something!

BTW since my eyes first started opening to the shadow world behind this one I’ve learned some amazing things. Here’s the most important things you have to know about the World Zionist Conspiracy!

1. Einstein stole the Theory of Relativity while still working as a patent clerk. The thesis was included as part of some guy’s perpetual motion invention!

2. “High profile white guys” mean Jews. The ‘white elite‘ are the front people, like Rockefeller was for the Rothschilds when he created the Federal Reserve by sinking the Titanic!

3. Jews have suppressed evidence of an alien crash at Area 51 to maintain faith in an Old Testament god, which is their lock on Western Culture. Of course they also try to undermine tradional values, but that just the Hegelian Dialectic in operation!

4. Jews have been spreading the rumour that Jesus Christ was Jewish for centuries!

5. The Jewish didn’t build Stonehenge, but repeatedly tried cheating Stone Age Briton’s out of it!

6. Every time you pay your cell phone bill portions of the money go to sponsor Israel!

7. The Jews not only started Hurricane Katrina, but then tried to blame it on black people!

8. Bill Clinton is secretly Jewish!

9. Jews killed Princess Diana because they feared the influence that Dodi Al Fayd might gain!

10. Some of your best friends might be Jewish. Even worse, you might not know it! They routine anglicize their names, Like Bernie Schwartz to Tony Curtis. This way they can inveigle themselves into society and work it’s ruin. It’s like a kind of Fifth Column right here in our midst. So be on guard, lest they come for you too! My advice – never trust a guy who’s been circumcised, or a woman who’s had a nose job!

Now a little more of Mr Sanchez and some borderline comments about the pres. Wait for it cause it’s about 1 minute into the video.

Well I guess Sanchez’s goose is cooked, and rightly so. His career looks like it’s going the same way as Mel Gibson’s, Michael Richard’s, Don Imus’, etc. Who knew that world was still such a racist place? Still, if Sarah Palin has shown us anything it’s that just because some one has no business having a career doesn’t mean that the public has heard the last of them.

Maybe Sanchez will get onto reality TV via race rehab. Now that’s not a bad idea since at the rate celebs are fucking up in public the powers that be – Jewish or otherwise – are gonna have to do something or their won’t be a celeb left that isn’t racist, drug addicted, a sex offender, or otherwise retarded (I can still say that because the retarded aren’t a race, right? Or are they?). Who knows, maybe inflammatory FOX News can do something for him. They’ve aired more extreme, equally insane views on their network. Glenn Beck, with his chalk board and greasy finger of Vick’s, is already running his news show on an X Files basis! FOX is America’s No 1 source for news related information, just like The Daily Show is America’s No 1 source for news related commentary.


The Burning Man & the Hot It Girl

“International Burn A Quran Day”

Nothing causes more trouble than religion and politics, especially when either of these hot topics get into the hands of professional lunatics. The Koran is on everyone’s minds these days. That’s partly because we’re running up to the anniversary of 911. It’s also partly because some kooks have decided to make an issue out of it, instead of letting the whole thing drop into the past.

We are definitely trying to send the message

The kook in question this time is a fundamentalist pastor, Terry Jones, who plans to exercise his freedom of expression by burning at least 100 copies of Koran. Jones is the head of a group down in Gainesville Florida called Dove World Outreach. Every year on the anniversary of 911 Dove Outreach holds a memorial. The occasions makes them hawkish too. The usually commemorate the event with some kind of anti Islamic activity. This year they’ve planned to commemorate the date with a mass Koran burning.

you’re not gonna find back bone in stock at mamby pamby land among the Bibles!

The idea is that Jesus Christ is the one true Lord & Savior; but much more importantly, that Islam is of the devil! Now that’s not an exaggeration of their views. the put street signs up saying those very words back in June. It’s also the title of the pastor’s book. Hope he worked Jesus in their some where. You know how easy it is to get carried away in the fun of heathen bashing. You can get worked up into an apocalyptic frenzy, to the point where Jesus gets lost in the shuffle. Maybe if He’d said something more compelling than “Love thy neighbor”, He’d have better held his follower’s attention. The “America loves a winner” speech from Patton might have fitted neatly into the Sermon on the Mount!

you have the right to free speech, as long as you’re not dumb enough to actually try it

Since the pastor has been shooting off his constitutionally protected mouth in public about the minions of darkness, his been getting much more attention than a garden variety Bible thumper is used to. He’s already bagged about 100 death threats. that’s one for each Koran. That kind of reaction would discourage a sane man. However it seemed to only encourage the pastor.

ours is a peaceful mission – arm the phasers!

So Pastor Jones is planning to go ahead with his book burning as planned. After all it’s for a very noble cause. Jones wants to reach out to his poor misguided Muslim breathern. In his own words he says “The goal of these and other protests are to give Muslims an opportunity to convert. We are definitely trying to send the message that Jesus Christ is the only way.” At least he’s not trying to win them over with sweet talk. If the medium is the message the pastor’s approach comes off as inflammatory!

a funny thing happened on the way to the riot

Besides there might come some good of this. The Pastor is right about it being his constitutionally enshrined right to make an ass of himself by stirring the shot everyone else was waiting to blow over. There’s nothing wrong with a good old fashioned book burning for that matter. It brought communities together, the way hangings used to back in the days of public executions. Why it’s the sort of community spirited mayhem anyone might enjoy. I could even see myself dropping by to toss a few heavy metal albums on the bonfire. That is I would if everything hadn’t gone iTunes and MP3. There goes progress spoiling the fun again!

Jolier than thou

Besides, America’s commitment to freedom of speech allows for counter balances to people like Pastor Jones. Naturally one of the celebrity set has taken up the cause, and taken it upon themselves to defend America’s oppressed Muslim community (has anyone told them that President Barack Obama is one of them? Glenn Beck says it all the time, and if it’s on FOX News, then it must be true!). That some one would be none other that Miss Better Than You InternationalAngelina Jolie.

still cool enough to be different?

Jolie recently gave a press conference, complete with hijab, condemning the Pastor’s incendiary intentions. The statement was about as well articulated as usual for Ms Jolie “That’s so mean and disrespectful“. Not that I’m criticizing Ms Jolie’s message. It just that most of us new it already and didn’t need Jolie to tell us. Unless she can bring anything fresh and original to the table, we’ll have to assume that she’s attention seeking again (with Jennifer Aniston’s career sinking after her Switch failure and ‘retard’ remark – it’s never been a better time for Jolie to finally get the upper hand!).

this is what happens to Americans who won’t eat meat!

Anyway you can make up your own minds about this whole sorry affair by watching Ms. Jolie Voight Pitt’s statement right here, in the video below.

botox tears

Another message for the international community. No wonder the Economist is desperate to keep her as an occasional contributor. Besides, the poor woman needs something to lift her spirits. Salt lackluster box office performance was bound to be esteem deflating. She got alot of comments about how rough she looked too. Jolie looked so bad that she had to get immediate cosmetic touch ups after filming was completed.

So making public statements is sure to be a well needed ego booster. She may not be the most beautiful woman in the world anymore, but she’s still one of the most obnoxiously self righteous. BTW here’s a little pic of Ms. Jolie snapped just after Salt clued up, but before she went into the plastic surgery clinic.

The ravages of long term vegetarianism are all over her face. “Looking rough” is a harsh phrase. We’ve seen her looking worse. Still that hasn’t stopped her from getting out there and attracting some attention. Nor should anyone allow themselves to be suppressed! Now go out there an express your inner wondertrash!

  • Calendar

    • May 2020
      M T W T F S S
  • Search