Tila Tequila sex tape

Tila Tequila shows us her disturbing little snippet

Tila Tequila is a very ambitious personality in the entertainment related field. She also lives a very activie *ahem* social life. So it was only natural that we’d be seeing more of her. See more we do in the following disturbing little snippet. It show Miss Tila and an acquaintance gettin’ it on. So if you want to have a gander at her goosy, put the kids to bed and lock the livestock in the shed, then proceed at your own risk.


I think that was more ‘entertainment related’ then actually ‘entertaining’.

Oh yeah and the unofficial story about this is that TT staged it her self and is now faking some official outrage through the usual channels – lawyers – but only to promote her home made porno project; which she hopes will hype her career by getting her back into the public eye. It worked for Kum Kim Kardashian didn’t it?

BTW this is the first sex vid posted to Wondertrash and I’m so pleased that Miss Tila Tequila is my first! Although I think that thing may have given my computer a virus!!


Gary Collins goes rogue

Gary Collins is in a whole heap of trouble. For those who don’t know who Collins is he’s a former morning show host and a celebrity drunk. These days he’s much better known as a celebrity drunk. Every so often Mr. Collins likes to get liquored up and get behind the wheel. Mr. Collin’s publicists might debate that. The court’s wouldn’t. Gary has had a few vehicohol related arrests, including a recent one.

Collins was supposed to show up in court on Nov 4rth regarding his most recent infraction. However for some unknown reason Collins was a no show. So the judge got mad and issued a $100 000 warrant for the rogue celebrity’s arrest. The judge is taking this so seriously not only because Collins is showing a Lindsay Lohan style disregard for the law, but also because he is a two time offender. In his most recent vehicular mishap, down in Mississippi, one of the passengers in the car he hit swears that GC was boozed up behind the wheel. Of course Collins got off on a hit and run charge for that.

The sad part is that Collins was due in court for a probation hearing. Had he shown up the judge probably would have terminated the probation. Now Gary is looking at tons of trouble and possibly jail time.

In other news a heavily pregnant Miranda Kerr was seen out and about showing off her baby bump. The bump is getting obvious however most of Miranda’s weight gain seems to be in and around her valuable face, which has swollen up like a volleyball. Just take a look at these shocking pictures!

Whether or not Miranda might be described as “radiant“, she has surely looked happier.

If you’re like most celebrities then you can be a little flighty. That might incline you to misplace things; like your cell phone full of incriminating text messages, your lap top with that home made sex tape in it, or that drug stash that you didn’t think was still in your purse when the cops pulled you over. Khloe Karadashian has lost stuff to. In her case it was her virginity, and she spoke about that at length on the View recently. Here’s what she had to say:

‘He was only I think, 18, but from 14 to 18 now looking back, I think that’s not a normal thing. I feel like I was almost conned; well, not conned, but persuaded. He was older and I felt I wouldn’t be accepted or cool or whatever. Then I do remember when I was done, I felt, after two months of secretly dating this guy, I felt so disgusted with myself.’ Adding, ‘I stopped talking to him and actually didn’t have sex for three years after that because I knew I was young and I knew I wasn’t ready.’

Bristol Palin couldn’t have put it as well.

Finally we end where we began, with celebrity drunks. If you’re a regular gossip follow then you heard about David Cassidy’s run in with the law. He got caught down on the Florida turnpike weaving all over the road. When some friendly officers stopped him and asked if anything was wrong, he replied that he was tired, was coming from a funeral, had taken a glass of wine and a pain killer for his back, etc. Law enforcement officers saw right through his numerous excuses to the half empty bottle of bourbon rolling around the back seat and placed yesteryear’s version of Justin Bieber under arrest for impaired driving.

Even though the cops had him on dash cam, the actor maintained that he was not drunk. He made a public statement saying that he would never endanger the lives of his fans, and the some what indifferent greater public, by driving around the turnpike juiced up like a rogue torpedo shot from a loose cannon. His spokes persons then made some official statements standing by the funeral-back-wine-pill-missed yoga story.

Well Keith Partridge has made it official. His attorney has just recently submitted his not guilty plea to a Florida court, and in writing no less. Dave was not present at the hearing. If he gets busted on this he’s looking at a $1000 fine and as much as 6 months in prison – though some kind of rehab is far more likely. Rehab is the new community service. Also he really should seek some psycho therapy to get closure on his Susan Dey hang up. If Dexter Morgan can marry Deb you’re in the clear Keith.

BTW I cannot confirm the rumor that Gary Collins is currently in Canada and seeking refugee status – but don’t be surprised if it’s true.


Celebs Go Crazy – Granny Got Horny

menacing idiots – celebritards run amok!

With the recent public flip out of the Quaids people can’t help reflecting that celebrities are a crazy bunch. Think of how many famous people have flipped out in the past several years: Britney Spears, Mel Gibson, Joaquin Phoenix, Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, etc. It’s like cracking up is some kind of occupational hazard!

fucked up before they ever got famous?

Then there are the cases like Andy Dick and Angelina Jolie. Of course they’ve never been well, but they seem to have gotten worse since they became famous. Gossipistas will recall that Dick, who faded from the headlines after a series of hi profile fuck ups involving drugs and sexual harassment – recently got himself back in the headlines by baring “Little Dick” in public, waving it at a passing “Tours of the Stars” bus, and shouting “Here I am!” As for Angelina Jolie, no one knows what she might do next. Whatever it is though will probably be Jolier than thou. If you’ve got to have attention then that’s one way of getting it (& one that doesn’t involve Twitter! Celebrities really took to the tweet like druggies to crack, so what does that tell you?). Even if the public has put you on ignore.

What do you give the person who has everything? Their own diagnostic classification!

All this craziness must be due to some quirk in celebrity personalities. I call it “Celebrity Personality Disorder“. Celebrity Personality Disorder, or CPD, is a greater plague on Tinsel Town than organized bands of starwhackers, maybe. CPD is basically a form of sociopathic personality disorder typified by narcissism, mania, egoism, grandiosity, instability, and of course an insatiable need for attention. Celebrities may feel that they have some special importance. For instance if you’re a celebrity you might feel that Barack Obama needs to consult you about policy because you’ve played a President on TV. So you have some valuable insight and experience to share – even though you know it’s not the same thing. Or that you should be able to write articles for the Economist because you’ve flown over Haiti on the way to Darfur. You have something to share with the world, your opinion. As for the good stuff, like designer hand bags; you’ll keep that for yourself.

if you can’t go on acting then go on acting out!

The result is that every so often one of our celebots can malfunction. That can be caused by not getting 24 hour attention, not getting you needs met (that means some one refused to go along with your latest whim), or a deep fear that you might no longer be relevant without stopping to question whether you ever really were relevant, or just over hyped. When that happens celebs, like small children that are being ignored or disciplined, can begin acting up. Remember what happened to Alec Baldwin on Letterman, Joaquin on Letterman, Cruise on Oprah, or Britney Spears during her pink wig period (If Oprah met Letterman would they mutually flip each other out? They do avoid each other!). If your switch gets stuck on the celebritard setting then there might not be much hope for you. You’ll still keep on acting out – as if suffering from brain damage, because what else are you gonna do?

not down to earth – swingin’ on a star

This is the current plight of Hollywood casualties like Sean Young (a woman so crazy that she makes Evi Quaid look like Mother Theresa!), and Anne Heche ( a woman so crazy she makes Sean Young look functional, or anyone else this side of a mental institution!). The last time Young was near a Hollywood dinner party was a couple of years back when she got drunk and heckled the director being honoured at the event. Heche flipped out after splitting with Ellen DeGeneres. With her career as a professional lesbian in the can, and her acting career following, Anne started channeling spirit beings from Alpha Centauri. Then she started calling herself Celestia. Finally she had a complete break with reality. Cops found her wandering around naked in some farmer’s field and waiting for the mother ship to come & beam her up. Advanced alien technology could get Anne on board, but not her swanky designer duds (that doesn’t make sense since their had to be more artificial chemicals in her bloodstream than in her clothing). Now that last crack was just flippancy – Anne had fallen on hard times and was ashamed for the aliens to see her in less than designer best. So she doffed her discount duds before the ETs showed up.

who is “everyone”? Us + Them & every celebritard in Follywood!

That brings us to the Quaids. Now they make some half way valid points. Everyone knows that Hollywood is as crooked as sin. We’ve also heard the stories about shrewd business types taking advantage of childlike celebrities. So it’s entirely possibly that the Quaids are getting hustled by their business managers. Just like it’s entirely possible that managers set up ‘power of attorney‘ paper work in the event that their clients either get thrown in jail, or get too fucked up on drugs or just too cuckoo to function (conservatorship). This power of attorney might be abused later, especially if the celeb gets to be too much of a pain in the ass.

whacked out in Hollywood

However the Quaids blew any credibility they might have ever had when they started talking about organized plots and throwing around terms like “Starwhackers“. Anyone should have sense enough to know that when you say “conspiracy” everyone stops listening (except for the ones who want to make fun). Claiming that hi profile types such as Heath Ledger were “whacked” doesn’t help either. For one thing a whack job only means a contract killing in the world of cinema. In real life whack job means masturbation! The Quaids can be excused for their language. As the incomparable Bruce Campbell (Autolycus from Xena & Hercules) pointed out “Hollywood writers are people who spend all day in dark rooms. So they don’t have much grasp of reality“. Hollywood actors are people who eat those words for a living. Since they’re nuts to start with that can only make a bad situation worse.

“Infamy, infamy – they got it in for me!”

The result can be that when they have a problem they don’t got to the police or consult with an independent expert. They go nuts (and so have an even bigger problem. As Richard Nixon might have observed “Just because they’re out to get you doesn’t mean that you’re not also paranoid. And if they’re out to get you, cracking up won’t help!“). They’re not the victim of a crime because that would be too mundane. Instead they’re the victim of a vast organized plot to deprive the world of their unique light (“I don’t want to call myself a victim because I’m tougher than that; but this is literally the biggest deal since they crucified Jesus!“). Then they go shrieking (literally in Evi’s case) towards the nearest camera with all the drama of a baby seal getting whacked jobbed with a base ball bat. Maybe they think that if the world was deprived of their presence then we would stand to lose more than they would. It’s a case of S.O.C – not S.O.S.Save Our Celebrities! In the case of the Quaids their whole wild story would’ve made an interesting film – perhaps starring Jim Carey – if they’d bothered to write it down on paper (instead of going on an international crime spree). That should tell you something right there.

When the going gets weird – whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stranger!

Now to give Randy Quaid the credit he deserves he is a talented actor. He was nominated for an Oscar and has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Evi, perhaps short for Evil, is another kettle of fish. For a woman in fear for her life she hasn’t wiped the grin off of her face since this story broke. She can be seen standing in front of news crews talking her weird shit and lapping up the attention, while grinning like The Joker. I don’t like to focuse on facial expressions, but the only way you could give that woman the benefit of the doubt is if she’d had a stroke! So it appears that poor hapless Randy is a man who’s sanity has been taken hostage by his wife. It’s a case of Mad About You, literally. Then again he works in a crazy, crazy profession that does rub off on people.

Granny is Go Go Girl – when real people go celebrity

Still craziness isn’t just something that affects celebrities. Sure they have a compulsive and morbid need for attention, but most people enjoy a bit now and then. When that need overwhelms the person then we can have a real life case of celebrity personality disorder. That can lead to the same strange behavior in normal people that would be fairly routine in stars. Like the case of the 62 year old grandmother from England.

granny and the boners

Age no barrier: Carol Bone has met men on 13 dating websites Carol Bone is 62 and lives in Leeds. She has arthritis and back pain. She hasn’t let that interfere with her increasingly hectic schedule. That schedule has included screwing over 200 men in 2 years. You see the appropriately named Ms. Bone has a sex addiction. Feeding that addiction has caused her to join 12 social networking sites, in order to keep her “every 3 days” dance card booked.
Bonkers for boners

Ms. Bone started out a normal enough woman. She’s been married a couple of times. She has 7 grandchildren. However a couple of years ago a 21 year relationship ended. Then some one made the grave mistake of introducing her to the Internet – the down fall of many. Once hot to trot Granny figured out what was possible (she seems to have already known what she wanted) it was Heigh Ho Silver & away to the races! ‘I just enjoy sex. I am not looking for anything serious. I am done with relationships – I want fun,’ she explains to Metro UK.

Smoke me a kipper granny cause I’ll be staying for breakfast!

So that lead to her joining multiple social networking sites (for her social wet working) and holling up with the 200. She was looking strictly for sex. Bone claims that she had no desire for a relationship, and if her random anonymous partners needed to stay the night – too exhausted to stagger off and limp home – she put them up in a spare bedroom. ‘If they stay over I insist they sleep in the spare room. I don’t want to wake up next to them,’ she added.

busy bone

Bone tried the usual grandmotherly diversions, like baking pies and sewing. They just didn’t do it for her. The stitching nearly drove her mad – she says. Besides Bone brags to a considerable sex drive. So, and in her own words, “Why shouldn’t I have fun?” So much horse power under the hood may explain her preferences in partners. She likes younger men, 30 and 40 preferably. No one over 50 gets considered, since “they just don’t have the stamina to keep up“. Also, no one with beer bellies need apply. Age means nothing – so don’t lower your standards. Even if you’re doing a volume business!

roaming gnome, go back home!

So does busy Ms. Bone suffer from the same dread malady – Celebrity Personality Disorder – that drove Joaquin Phoenix into hip hop and the Quaids across the border? Well for one thing the old broad is practically a celebrity already. I’m writing about her and your reading it! That sort of outrageous behavior is bound to draw a lot of attention, as any professional celebrity would tell you. However in Ms Bone’s case the prognosis is still good. Though she is blossoming into something of a minor celebrity, she’s still an amateur. So she could jump off the train before the condition becomes chronic and she winds up a pro. If she keeps riding that train things could get much worse. For something she could wind up replacing Dr. Laura and giving sex advice to strangers over the radio – “Go on a swallow, Love. It’s no worse than raw egg white!“. We’ve only recently got rid of the original Dr. Laura, and so don’t need to be assaulted over the airwaves by a sex gnome replacement. Besides once things reach that state their will be no turning back. Then the next thing you know Betty White will be playing her in the sex tape. That could leave thousands mentally traumatized and in desperate search for eye bleach. So I think that I might be able to safely speak for many when I say “Whoa Granny, slow the fuck down, before this goes too fucking far!“. Besides, there’s already a broad over 60 who’s still a white hot sex object:

That’s right – still sexy since 1941!


Jessica Alba gets gagged for Machete

Fit to be tied, bound to be gagged

That seems to happen to Jessica Alba from time to time. By time to time I mean every other film. If you go over Ms Alba’s body of work you’ll find that Jessie winds up bound, gagged, and flexing her big lips like a horse at the bridle in most of the flicks that she does. So does Jessica Alba have a bondage fetish?

The answer is yes and it was her work on Flipper, down in Australia in her early teens, that freaked her up. That show required Ms Alba to be tied up two or three times a season. Bondage was a sort of reoccurring plot device on the show (and probably warped 1000’s of developnig adolescent libidos). Anyway the experoence of being tied up with good looking young actors about her own age must’ve gotten to the young woman. The wriggling and struggling while moaning for help in front of a cast and crew seems to have left an impression.

It was during her Flipper time that Alba was involved in a bizarre incident. She was supposedly kidnapped and missing for about 14 hours. When she was finally found she was bound and gagged in the trunk of a car. No arrest were made and Alba could give no clear description of her abductor. So it was unofficially put down to a teen age girl acting out her abduction fantasy. I say unofficially because no public mischief charges were filed against Alba for her car trunk sexy time.

These things happen to teenaged girls from time to time. Every so often a chick will be found in the trunk of a car covered in duct tape like Tutankhamun in the tomb. She gets rescued by local authorities who put out an APB on a suspect matching a sketchy description. When no one turns up the gal often fesses up, and admits that she tied herself up and locked herself in the truck for kinky sexy kicks.

Not that Alba has to resort to such stunts anymore. Now she’s a professional actress.If she wants tog et herself tied up and viewed by the world, like beef in the butcher shop window, she can just request her latest director to included some bondage scenes in her flicks. Those scenes keep showing up. Many actresses request to have them removed. That is until they pass 35, when they get more open to creepy stuff. They try harder once the bloom of youth of gone. Alba’s been trying hard for a while now.

JessicaAlba.jpg Jessica alba gagged picture by TheBondageking

If you go back over her acting gigs, you’ll find that she been bound and gagged more than any other A List actress her age. Dark Angel alone featured more tie up time than Lynda Carter’s Wonder Woman! Into the Blue featured more Alba gag-gage – that time with duct tape. She got the bondage treatment again in Sin City. In fact the only flicks where Alba hasn’t been featured chomping down on some kind of mouth restraint has been the Fantastic Four flicks. The above photo is from her latest, Machete. Oh yeah, and Alba also enjoys getting tied up for good causes in her spare time, by way of BSMD themed public service announcements!

Gagged ... Jessica Alba in controversial new Declare Yourself advert
Gagged … Jessica Alba in controversial new Declare Yourself advert


Speaking of sexy freaks who don’t mind getting tied up, or down, here’s

Fashion’s Night Out 2010 – The Show


In keeping with the celebrity sex fetish theme here’s the lovely and talented Anne Hathaway getting tickle tortured.

Wasn’t that a treat? Here at wondertrash you can find more than one way to have a laugh!


Too Naked to Make It

So let’s say that you’re young and ambitious, but with limited talent. What’s you short cut to fame? Well there’s nothing like dropping your drawers with some intimate acquaintances while the video is running to get you on the radar fast. It worked so well for Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian that even Montana Fishburn has decided to give it a try. Let’s take a look at the sex tape fast track to notoriety in the following CNN video report:


So the moral of the story is that sex sells. So if you’re young enough to be interesting, and have some sexy friends with a video recorder then you too could have your own reality TV series in a year or too. Then the next thing you know you too could have your own highly followed Twitter account!

Just don’t go too far, like wrecking the marriage of beloved Hollywood actresses or squeaky clean sports hero, much less getting invitro’d with multiple embryos or with mail order celebrity sperm. The public might decided that they don’t want to support that degree of craziness! When you get to the point where young up and comers decide that if they get knocked up by a celebrity they can not only can sue for child support but then use the sex tape of the incident as a basis to pitch a reality series; then you’ve encouraged things too much by presenting sociopath fame seekers with a total career starter package!

Of course if you really want to cash in then just start a new social networking sight. Tailor it to suit attention seeking narcissistic types – in other words celebrities – and then add a few gimmicks smart apps specifically designed for celeb needs – like easy up load for sex vids and secretly recorded phone conversation; and you’ll have a license to print money! Then you only really need a name that sounds clever at first but less so every time you hear it – like Tweeter, or if you can find a way to run your network through video enabled Skype, possibly something like Peeper.com. The entertainment gossip community is waiting for the celebrity version of wikileaks! It could even be called Celebrileaks!

Not every celebrity bares their privates in grainy homemade porno. Some manage to get big league movie producers to pay ’em to do it in major motion pictures! Those A List celebs will be appearing in the Greater Toronto Area for the upcoming TIFF Awards, and you can get your guide to celebwatching via the following handy link! Then of course you can keep checking here – your one handy link for celebrity smut, nudity included!


Is Mel Gibson a drunken woman beater?

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Oksana Grigorieva claims that former lover mel gibson beat her up in a drunken rage, breaking her teeth and giving her a concussion Mel Gibson went his separate way from tart de jour Oksana Grigorieva people asked “What took him so long?” People also wondered whether there might not be more to it. Celebs aren’t known for coming to their sense, at least not without extensive and repeated stays in rehab. Also Grigorieva was dropping some heavy hints along the lines of “The truth will come out” and “You’ll see“. If you love it when gold digging tramps start talking about he truth then you’re gonna dig what comes next. Oksie claims that Mel Gibson is a drunken brute who beat he face off her!

The first assigns that this might not have been an amicable split was when word leaked that Gibson had filed a restraining order against Oksie. Mel’s people filed off the usual bullshit press release claiming that Mel and Oksie were still bosom buds, and that they planned to raise their child jointly. Oksie was soon to call his drunken bigoted ass on that publicly!

Oksie claimed that she was the one who filed for a restraining order. She insists that Mel needed restraining because he was extremely violent. OG says that Mel beat her up in a drunken fit – perhaps about the Jews – during which he broke her teeth and gave her a concussion. Oksie says that she filed the restraining order, out of fear for her well being; and that Mel counter filed in an attempt to get access to his alleged love child.

Oksana did plenty of talking too. At first she didn’t say too much. She gave an interview to TMZ in which she played coy. When asked about the alleged beating she insisted that she couldn’t talk about it. There was a custody issue at stake and her lawyers told her not to talk about it. There were other things that she did want to talk about. She’s “doing great” for instance. Oh yeah and there’s also her alleged music career. Holding on to those unrealistic pipe dreams just shows such a great attitude!

She was to be less closed lipped with TMZ a little later. In a subsequent interview Oksie claimed that Mel beat her up badly back in January. That must’ve been the time Jodie Foster wanted him to do that flick with the beaver. Such humiliation mist be enough to send any A List ego into meltdown.

The wrinkle in the story is that Oksie stayed with Sugar Daddy after the alleged incident. Sources close to Mel Gibson (perhaps some one named Bugdoll, who likes to post semi literate gibberish on various Internet message boards?) have pointed that out claiming it’s proof positive that the bitch made it up. Oksie got an answer for that though: she stayed for a little while cause she loved him. If she’s the one who got the concussion then why does she talk like we’re the ones with brain damage?

Naturally Mel can explain this away. He admits that there was some physical contact back in January, but it was justified. According to Mel they were all hanging out around the pool back in Jan. when Oksie started acting up. She grabbed young Lucia – the child who might be Mel’s though David Foster ain’t off that paternity hook either – and ran around the back of the house. She then threw herself, baby and all, down on the ground. She proceeded to get up, run inside, and then shake the baby like a rag doll. Perhaps remembering all those ‘shaken baby syndrome‘ stories, Mel figured it was appropriate to lay the smack down on that sorry bitch’s ass – though Mel would describe it more diplomatically as “some physical contact“.

Now Mel insists that everything was copacetic after that. Oksie went traveling with him. When they eventually split Mel stayed over at her Russian pad looking after Lucia while Oksie continued to beat the dead horse which is her musical career. Oksie mom even sent the body guards away so father and daughter could enjoy some quality time together! However Oksie started thinking that maybe joint custody wasn’t such a hot idea. She filed for a restraining order keeping Mel at least 100 yards away from either her or her daughter. She wouldn’t even let Gibson spend Father’s Dad with l’il Lucia. What’s more, Oksie’s claiming that she’s got the goods on Mel by way of tape recorded conversations! Since the tapes were made without Mel’s consent or knowledge a judge has ordered them sealed, and Oksana gag ordered to prevent her from talking about them. Knowing Oksana though, we’ll probably be hearing a lot more soon. She seems like a tough one to keep gagged.

voodoo videos

That sad thing is that all this drama is keeping mel from his important research into Freemasonry & the occult. Considering that Hollywood is rotten with occultism, the world really needs Mel and his drunken outlandish conspiracism now more than ever. Well mel has got his hands full so it’s up to the rest of us – you & me – to be extra vigilant so that those Hollywood sorcerers don’t manage to pull the wool over our eyes. You can begin to be more vigilant by keeping up on Tila Tequila’s daring anti Illuminati posts over @ MissTilaOMG, and by watching the following short but startling videos!


Hollywood Insiders: Full Disclosure 1/8 from Going Etheric on Vimeo.


3 of 8 Fallen Angels(Occult Symbolism in Film) from Going Etheric on Vimeo.


5 of 8 Fallen Angels(New World Order movies) from Going Etheric on Vimeo.

Of course witch craft is one of the more mundane threats we face. Coming soon the ET angle – look for our Wondertrash entitled simply UFO!


UFO from rama on Vimeo.

In tastiest hyperboles

UFO – Episode 10
Deleted User | MySpace Video

Just remember that no one quits SHADO – that’s why they spend billions on security and zero on on retirement benefits!


Unchitel – Boreanaz text messages released.

Unchitel - Boreanaz text messages released.Rachel Uchitel is the sleazy little vixen who busted up Tiger Woods’ marriage. While no one was gonna give her a round of applause or anything no one was gonna hold it against her either. Tiger had some well concealed problems and Uchitel was only another face in the crowd. It turns out that Woods wasn’t the only crowd in town. In fact Uchitel had another man she was crazy about. You might have heard of this one too – he’s David Boreanaz, star of Buffy, Angel, and Bones.

Boreanaz is a married man. That’s never stopped Uchitel before, and is usually an encouragement! So while Boreanaz’s wife was expecting their child. The marriage was on shaky ground though, so Boreanaz felt it was okay to meet with Uchitel for sleazy hook ups in various places. For instance while Mrs. Boreanaz was expanding, Big Daddy Dave was off with Rachel @ L’Hermitage Hotel. That’s a pretty swanky joint down in LA, but Dave was happy to pay the bill for their 3 day sex sessions. Rachel seemed pretty happy too since she described Dave as amazing and the sex as just as amazing (at a loss for words?). I’m sure she’d say that even if she weren’t getting screwed in a 5 star $1500 a night room with a magnum of Dom Perignon being brought up by room service. Now that part is an exaggeration cause the texts don’t go into detail about what they ate & drank. They were much more concerned about what they were doing and what they were going to do to each other.

Now RadarOnLine seems to have the Uchitel Blackberry concession. The full transcripts are up on their site. Just to wet your appetite here are some of the things covered:

In the Blackberry Messenger mesages Uchitel goes by the name of Puma and ranges from being graphically seductive with Boreanaz to raging at him for not spending enough time with her.
In the messages, Uchitel tells Boreanaz that she is unable to go see him in LA and urges him to come see her in NY instead, writing, “I
need you here so we can be together.”

Boreanaz tells her, “This is not a good time.”
His wife Jamie was pregnant with the couple’s second child at the time of his affair with Uchitel.
Uchitel erupts in anger and writes, “I can’t do this anymore…Just go.
“Just (bleeping) go and be with her.”
This causes Boreanaz to get angry and he writes: “Why do u act like such a (bleeping) child!!!
“She is my wife”
But that doesn’t cause Uchitel to back off and she replies:
“Oh, please!!”
She grows more furious with him and writes:
“You’re such a liar. You’re never leaving. You’ve wasted my time and I’m once again alone.”
She adds: “I can’t (bleeping) be alone anymore. I’ve been alone my entire life.”
And Boreanaz fights back, writing, “What the HELL are you talking about. We spend more than enough time together.”

Then there’s some more:

Uchitel tells Boreanaz in one message that she is arriving in Los Angeles at 9.30 the next morning. A source close to the New York club hostess told RadarOnline.com exclusively that this is one of several secret meetings the lovers had in Los Angeles and that they hooked up at the swanky L’Hermitage Hotel – with Boreanaz footing the bill.

Uchitel also references another location, where, the source tells RadarOnline.com, the couple enjoyed a secret tryst. According to the source Uchitel flew on a US Air flight out of La Guardia airport with Boreanaz on June 21st 2009 and they had a three-day hook up.

That was the incident where Rach described Dave as amazing. He must’ve been since they were there 3 days and screwed almost constantly for the whole time! It wasn’t all fun though. Occasionally tempers got heightened as well as hormone levels:

In the sexually graphic messages Boreanaz references explicit pictures and video that he has sent to Uchitel, asking her what her favorite is. In response to Uchitel accusing him of not missing her, he replies, “I missss [sic] you more than words can express.”

At one point Uchitel accuses Boreanaz of stringing her along, writing, “You’re such a liar. You’re never leaving. You’ve wasted my time and I’m once again alone.”

Gloria Allred: Attorney most likely to represent the devil on judgment day!

I guess y’all are asking “how did Jesse James ever miss out on this slut?“As for Uchitel she says that men are always stringing her along. She must’ve picked up a few tricks along the way cause when the Tiger shit hit the fan (and the world of pro golf was never the same again – for one thing golf is no longer a game played to escape pressure!) Uchitel went right out and got Gloria Allred to rep her. Now most people hate lawyers, but Gloria Allred is the lawyer that others lawyers hate. You might say that she’s an attorney’s attorney. She also got Uchitel 10 million and an apology off of Tiger. So if RU is being strung along then that string must jerk both ways!

Perhaps the only positive in this is that Boreanaz and Uchitel didn’t dress up for Buffy & Angel cosplay during their screw-cations together. That would’ve just spoiled the memory for everyone! Say, if they were into cosplay you don’t think that it was something really bizarre?

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