Rimes goes cuckoo – Kanyne goes porno?

Certain kinds of women can be trouble.Take that low down no good LeAnn Rimes. LeAnn got a psycho home wrecker label slapped on. That’s cause she married another woman’s man when she took Eddie Cibrian away from Real Housewife Bradi Glanville. Bradi is the one who started having flash backs on Twitter after Kristen Stewart cheated on vampire boyfriend Rob Pattinson. Glanville drew some comparisons between her situation and that of Rupert Saunders’ wife. So that was basically a sort of inferred comparison between Kristen and LeAnn.

Now Rich Hollywood White Chicks have stolen men before. Hollywood isn’t run under Sharia law, so usually no one gets stoned over it. LeAnn’s case was different because she and Glanville had been friends or something. So rumors started that Rimes had basically made nice to Glanville to get close tot he hubby. So basically she was accused of stalking. That kind of turned the general public against her (Country fans were ten years ahead of the curve on that). It also got her tagged with a crazy label.

With the crazy talk about her circulating certain members of the public have been waiting for her to crack up. While she hasn’t been in Amanda Bynes territory she has been showing some odd behavior – like that creepy birthday cake she had prepared for the light of her life – Hubby Eddie. You remember that slightly x rated little number featuring an icing molding likeness of Eddie and Bonus Mom riding the bed on top, while icing fashioned figures of the kids stood by quiet and neglected looking at the bottom.

Well this may or may not be what folks were waiting for but LeAnn has checked herself into a treatment center. She’s been in an undisclosed facility for about one month receiving help and guidance for “personal and emotional issues”. So I guess that all her staged candid pictures featuring her perfect life didn’t tell the whole story. Emotional & personal issues is kinda vague, so she might be in for nothing more serious than Cibrian related codependency disorder. Sher was recently allowed out for a VH1 Save The Music Foundation’s Songwriters Music Series concert on Thursday. So maybe she’s on the mend!

Now when you’re speaking of trouble Kim Kardashian comes to mind. Not that she is trouble. She had some though. Like that 72 day marriage that turned everyone against her. People felt she’d pulled of some kind of fake phony stunt in order to cash in on a reality TV deal. Then once the check cleared quickly ran off to the divorce attorneys. Kim denies that claiming she’s a pretty good business woman who lead with her heart for once.

For a girl who started her career with a sex tape she come along way. Now things looked like they were circling the drain. What if the public turned on her? How would she keep up her many lucrative enterprises – like such as fragrances, reality TV spin offs, plus her paid public appearances? If that backlash turned into a boycott then Kim would be down to her last 10 or 20 million!

Never mind because Kayne West came to the rescue. Kayne has had his own brushes with notoriety – like when he inadvertently made a star out of Taylor Swift. We still haven’t been able to get rid of her yet. If she marries a Kennedy then we might never see the end of her – I just hope she invites Kayne to the wedding cause it’s the least she can do. She was a flash in the pan flavour of the month before he made an outrage out of her.

Anyway Kim was in rough shape and if Kayne could turned the buck toothed little guitar girl into a superstar, then imagine what he might do for a Kardashian! So they some how got together and Kim has been riding his arm for a while now. It’s a good arrangement for Kim. Poor Kayne should’ve been waiting for lightening to strike.

Strike it has too. It’s not Kim related, though it does have a sex vid angle. According to reports a Kayne West sex tape is being shopped around! The tape is about 20 minutes long and features an 18 year old Kim Kardashian look alike. She admits that she doesn’t do her husband anymore and then proceeds to do Kayne in a variety of positions. Kayne then can be seen walking up to the video camera and switching it off.

Supposedly Kayne is terrified that this is gonna go onto the open market – the Radaronline guys are already claiming to have seen it. Says a source:

“The sex tape is being shopped right now and there’s a lot of interest, but Kanye is freaking out!” the insider revealed.

“He doesn’t want this tape out and will do anything to make sure it stays private.

“If this were to hit the market it would be worth a fortune… there would definitely be a lot of people wanting to see this!

“In my expert opinion Kanye’s performance far outweighs Kim’s!”

At least now they have something in common. That’s the Wondertrash lifestyle for you – thrills, chills, pills, and spills.

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Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Back Together?

That fork in the road was almost a stake through the heart!

lovey dovey dopey

They’re back! So that should come as a relief to the millions of Twilight fans who seemed to be on the edge of some kind of collective nervous breakdown. It was rough there for a while with Kristen Stewart wearing Rob Pattinson‘s old clothes and Rob running off to hide out with Reese Witherspoon. The news that Kristy was cheatin’ with Rupert Saunders – her Snow White director – can as something of a shocker to Rob, and to the whole Twilight Netherverse!

girls just wanna have fun

There was major blow back too. Kristy got herself some major slut shaming for people who thought the idea of a 22 year old having a fling was history’s greatest tragedy. You’d think that she’d violated Sharia law by baring her ankle or something, the way twitter went into overload. Kristers was even chased down in the street, according to one report carried in the National Enquirer. She hide out in her car as a couple of young women menaced her from out side. It was a bad experience that caused her to hire a body guard.

stoned & sorry

Anyway the whole thing went onto shit overload. Kristy seemed concerned about her career future. Now you gotta understand that this is a girl who loves the whole process of acting so much that she forgets to pee – unless that’s a marijuana side effect. Kristy “allegedly” enjoys nature’s finest – so don’t go calling her Lucy Stoner cause you read something here. Anyway the idea that the fandom that supported her career might turn on her must’ve been a little unnerving. So there was plenty of incentive for sorry.

abandoned & betrayed

So it was a fascinating situation involving two otherwise low key people (when once asked what he did for excitement Pattinson replied that he liked hanging out in hotel rooms alone and getting drunk. He then went on to explain that he’s shy.). At the break of the fuss Pattinson even claimed he wanted a face to face show down with Rupert Saunders, the many who tarnished his dark gothy love. It wasn’t revealed whether Rob was gonna sort Ropert out, or maybe ask for work or something. Then the reports came about Kristy approaching a the emotional breaking point and Rob feeling lonely and betrayed. That was while the rest of the world was contemplating their career futures.

dark shadows & silver linings

So naturally the pair eventually patched it up. Who know’s why. Cynics say that this is just part of a PR stunt. Valuable studio assets need protecting. They’ll be lovey dovey for awhile. Then Pattinson will cheat. He’ll be justified cause of what Kristy did, but she’ll be off the hook too cause he paid her back. That balancing the PR books & people can go back to liking them on a “Team RPatz” & “Team KStew” basis. Meanwhile it’s reassuring to know that if the Twilight series isn’t getting anymore sequels, then at least Pattinstew is!

pathetic single men

Then there’s the possiblity that Rob forgave her so he can get some of his stuff back. In addition to some of his old dirty T Shirts it seems that when Kristy got kicked out she also took Patz’ dog Bear with her. Then there’s the possibly that Rob feared growing old single and alone in Hollywood without his one true love beside him. You know how single men can sometimes get stigmatized, like George Clooney. Who’d wanna be George Clooney? So something had to be done! That means taking back the girl who helped him become the vampire heart throb he is today! It was either that or Dancing With The Stars. Look at it this way, there’s a good woman behind every successful man so Stewie must have something going for her. if she’s occasionally a little hot to trot, mark it down to her being born in the Chinese Year of the Horse! Next time Rob, keep a firm hand on the reins!

For more on Stigmatized single men here’s The Young Turks!

If your’re in this predicament remember that it pays to have some good excuses lined up. Not the old “never met the right girl” line. Men aren’t that picky, so people will wonder what’s up. Try something more plausible and  believable like “I’ve taken a religious vow”, “New World Order nanobot technology rendered me sterile”, or even “old sports injury”. That ought’a hold ’em!

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