Rob Pattinson Dating Sienna Miller’s Sister, Savannah

Despite reports that Robert Pattinson is back with Kristen Stewart, a new report suggest that he’s dating a mystery girl. Rob was spotted at Electric room in NYC with his new girl which is rumored to be Sienna Miller‘s sister.

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Sienna Miller Covers Vogue UK April 2012

Looks like Sienna Miller might be making a come back. For those of you who might not be familiar with who Sienna is think of her as the anti matter Mischa Barton. Mischa was the Brit gal who went to America and be came the prototypical California girl on the OC before her frailties got the better of her and she veered off the rails. Sienna is the New York girl who went to England and became the typical upper class sporting fuck in the flicks before she got too bold for her own good and her career veered off the rails.

When Sienna was last her of she was chasing Balthazar Getty – or maybe he was chasing her; it’s hard to tell predator from prey in some of these situations, and doing GI Joe. She was the Baroness. She’d just gotten booted off of Nottingham, or Sherwood, or whatever the name of that Robin Hood flick that Cate Blanchett replaced her as Maid Marion was called. She’d gotten sacked and soon after stories started coming out from unnamed sources that Russell Crowe was too fat and had Miller fired for being too pretty. Apparently her prettiness made him look even fatter and that made him petty. Then a rumour came out that Russell was plotting against his old friend director Ridley Scott and trying to have him replaced as the film’s director. The first story was discredited when stills of Crowe were released in which he looked trimmer than he had since Gladiator. The second story was incredible since Russ and Ridley are old friends and Scott has been very helpful with Russ’s career. In other words they like to work together. After that Sienna’s movie career ground to a halt. You just don’t pick on directors in Hollywood – unless you’re at least a producer. There’s a pecking order for goodness sakes!

Sienna went on to take another swipe at her old flame Jude Law. She hadn’t done his career or personal life any good in the past but now that he was digging himself out of the hole she’d left him in by co starring in the Sherlock Holmes movies with Ironman Robert Downey jr he looked good for another try. There was some kind of commitment ceremony down in Bali or somewhere which wasn’t legally binding. Then they broke up. Then no one heard much from her for awhile ( the second most recent youtube upload on Miller is dated 5 months old & the 10th is 2 years old ) until she recently married. Now she’s on the cover of UK Vogue so who knows – she might look good for a come back.

Sienna Miller Covers Vogue UK April 2012
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Screwing Sienna Miller will fuck your brain

Remember Rhys Ifans? He’s the Welsh singer/actor who briefly dated Sienna Miller while she was between wrecking marriages. That didn’t work out and the whole sorry deal left Ifans in some dingy Brit bar hollering,screaming, challenging folks to fights, and telling anyone who’d listen how great Hitler was. Then he groped some one on the dance floor, flipped a table, and passed out. That’s how I remember it being reported, though certain Andy Dick incidents could’ve gotten mixed in there. It would’ve been a good night’s work for Dick.

Now everyone was hoping that this was some kind of passing phase and that Rhys would get back to his senses and to whatever it is that he usually does for a living. Well that’s exagerating since large segments of the population don’t know who the hell Rhys Ifans is or what the fuck he does for a living. Let’s just say that many bystanders were hoping that Miller hadn’t fucked another life. I’m not calling Miller out as some kind of slut; I’m just saying that’s what passer bys write on the front of her home.
Well if there were any of you hoping that Hurricane Sienna’s destructive effects had there limits then I’ve got some bad news. Though Rhys did eventually get back towards some kind of gainful employment, he’s still worse for wear. The gainful employment part involves that new Spiderman movie their making. Rhys plays The Lizard. That’s the mad scientific character who turns himself into a mutant monster while trying to regrow his arm. He probably should’ve just stuck some bug in the microwave and let it bite him; but characters in the comic seem unaware of the storylines they participate in. It turns out that Rhys is just as monsterous in real life as the character he plays in comic book flicks.
Rhys had to go down to Comic-con to promote Spirderman. It used to be a place for Asperger’s suffered and guys who could neither get laid nor get rid of pimples. Nowadays it’s a major promotional venue. Since Rhys is lucky to be doing anything, it behooved him (like that word? Art Garfunkel used to use it a lot in interviews!). Now appearing at Comic-con is enough to grate on any normal person’s nerves; However Ifans had a blow out that went well beyond nerd related pique.
Seems that when Rhys was trying to get into the building there was some kind of misunderstanding. Ifan’s people – and how fortunate they must feel to be under such ownership – lacked the proper entrance credentials. So some annoying security personal held them up at the door. That’s what got Ifan’s goat. It’s bad enough to have to go to Nerdfest, then to get all the way there and be held up a the door is too damned much! So Rhys got enraged and shoved a female security person.
Though Rhys was rowdy, & drunk; he gamely went in to sit out his panel duty. he answered a bunch of questioned from people with no social life nor normal interested. Then on his way out of the building he had more security related problems. Another guard placed him under citizen’s arrest for assault! That lead to a visit from the real cops, and the following statement from Lt Andra Brown:

“He was aggressive and belligerent,” Lt. Andra Brown said of the Welsh actor. “He was… berating everyone from the security staff to the United States of America.”

“He was cited and released, which is a non-custodial misdemeanor arrest,” added Brown, who said that the San Diego City Attorney will now determine whether to pursue charges. Ifans could be required to pay a fine, or could contest the case before a judge.

Witnesses say that security was a little over aggressive. They also say that Rhys was belligerent & stewed to the gills. In fact Rhys got so overwrote that he exclaimed, during the festivities, that “The USA sucks”. At least Sienna restricted herself to the city of “Shitsburgh”. Anyway Rhys got a trip in the squad car, but was later released. He had recently celebrated a birthday and so wasn’t in the best state of mind. He many or may not be required to pay a fine. We can only hope that this is once again a passing phase, and not something more serisous; like Sienna Miller related long term brain damage! Let’s just hope that the poor mouthy fellow hasn’t talked himself onto some no fly list, or he won’t have to worry about going to America again for awhile (though his security problems might persist).

A trash flash from the past

the flashy and the trashy

Anne Heche at the 1997 Emmy Awards (cropped)Image via Wikipedia

In life there’s trashy and there’s toxic. Trashy can be campy good fun, like Paris Hilton; while toxic can be an accident waiting to happen, like Anne Heche. Heche started her career as a soap opera actress back on Another World. She played twins. Since she played both roles the question of which one was evil was moot. Anne was meant for higher things that daytime TV and she soon moved up in the world, though her life was to continue to be an over the top soap opera.
Looking good and going places
Anne’s a good looking chick and that can take you places in Hollywood. Especially if you don’t mind screwing around to get on in the world. In that respect Heche was as game as Sienna Miller (and Sienna’s had more riders than a carousel pony – whether or not it’s true that what goes up comes down, who ever said what goes around comes around must’ve been thinking of Sienna – she’s been around more than most painted carousel ponies). So she soon made a lot of influential new friends. Friends like Steve Martin. He met Heche when his marriage was either on the rocks, or through. Either way Heche didn’t do that relationship any good.
Hot air and both sides of clouds
Martin did her some good. He was a very successful comedy film actor at the time. So he was helpful in getting Heche some of those coveted movie roles. When she wasn’t trying out for film work she and Martin took hot air balloon rides together – which they described as ‘funner than fun’. When she wasn’t movin’ on up via hot air balloon, she & Martin shopped for dream homes that they could share. In this case house shopping with Heche had about the same relationship mojo as getting matching his and hers tattoos. As with many of Heche’s relationships, the joy ride was over before the car got out of the drive way.
up up and away
Anne wouldn’t be lonesome for long. She managed to get Ellen DeGeneres’ attention. No one is quite sure how this happened, though some think Ellen might have suffered some kind of head injury just prior to the ill fated fling. The unofficial version is that Ellen had noticed Anne about town and put the word out that she found Heche highly desirable. Heche wasn’t lesbian, but was willing to learn. Especially if there were major career perks involved. Since Ellen was kind of a bog deal in TV sit coms at the time, career perks were kind of a given. When the two met at a Hollywood wing ding, Anne turned on the charm. Before you knew it Heche had the bit between her teeth and was away to the races faster than you could say “Tallyho!”
teaser and the firecat
While Anne and Ellen set up together as high profile celebrity lesbians Stevo was left to nurse his wounds. He kind of felt ill done by in the whole Heche affair. He got some of it out of his system by writing Bowfinger. The Heather Graham character was supposedly based on Heche (I say supposedly because Martin himself may have mentioned that in a few interviews). If Stevo was marked down as bitter it was only because everyone was busy celebrating Heche and DeGeneres’ daring new love! Heche hadn’t completely forgotten about Martin though. In an ‘insult to injury’ move, she did talk Ellen into buying the dream home Martin had picked out for her.

Happily ever after – please make it stop!
Everything was now set for a happily ever after type scenario. There was only one problem; one of the players in the piece was Anne Heche. As soon as the love birds had settled into nest things took a nasty turn. Ellen lost her sit com. That led to a year long bout of unemployment and depression. In show business extended periods of unemployment can be trouble; since if you haven’t really made it, it could mean that you might get left behind and never work again.
unsinkable Annie
That left Ellen moping around the love nest while Anne grew ever more impatient. Anne had hoped hot gay sex would open every door in Hollywood to her. She hadn’t really signed on to give moral support to a unemployed middle aged lesbian. Never one to go down with the ship Anne began looking for the rat’s way out.
“I’m like a gay man trapped in a hot chick’s bod!”
She had to be careful. Some people had questioned her commitment to alternative lifestyles. Basically they were saying that Anne, never lesbian before, had hooked into DeGeneres as some kind of meal ticket/free pass into Hollywood. If she dropped Ellen like a hot potato then she’d come off as an opportunist. That’s something no serious opportunist would dare do. So she started floating stories that Ellen’s general lack of motivation was unattractive. That left Anne free to rediscover her heterosexuality.
strangers on candy
While getting reacquainted with the joys of cock, Anne also developed an interest in automatic writing and a fondness for meth amphetamine. That lead to the most colourful period of her life. She apparently spent days getting high and writing out messages from her higher power. That gave her some thing to do since her dance card was empty. Dropping DeGeneres when the chips were down made it clear what she was about. Since she’d left so many pissed on off people in her wake no one was volunteering to open more doors for her.
filling free time with drugs & gibberish
So, as some celebs do with extra free time to fill, she continued working on herself. Basically she was taking more drugs and writing more gibberish. She discovered, by way of the powerful meth auto writing combo that she was a space alien named Celestia and on a secret mission to bring love to Planet Earth. When the cops finally caught up with her she was wandering around a field naked as a jay bird and waiting for the mother ship to beam her up. Public nudity in the cause of a better world seldom works out (unless the audience is on acid – otherwise they don’t get it). Giving her the benefit of the doubt maybe she was trying to find her way back to Another World. At least things stopped before Heche went to far and discovered the kaballah. It was a great day to be Ellen DeGeneres though.
North. To Alaska
Since then it’s been touch and go for Heche. She married a camera man named Cody Lafoon, and had a son named Homer. Homer would soon be the object of a bitter custody battle as Heche and Lafoon went their separate ways. Heche also had a brief TV series called Men In Trees. It was set in Alaska, now known as Sarahland; and it didn’t work out. Things did work out better for Ellen. With Heche out of the way DeGeneres got her mojo back. She also got back on TV. Right now she’s about the biggest deal on daytime TV. With Oprah Winfrey looking about for new worlds to conquer that makes Heche girl most likely to fill the void.
time to adjust your set
Things sure did improve with Anne out of the picture. Hopefully Ellen can chalk the whole sad business up to experience, learn from it, and move on. I’m not saying that Heche is toxic. That’s for readers to infer; and let’s face it, it would be a hard inference to avoid. It just seems like a strange coincidence that things go sour when ever she’s involved. Maybe if she can work on the allegedly toxicity, then she could one day find her way back to an entertainment medium. She might just be trashy enough for reality TV!

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Sienna Miller Looks Shiteous

UFO – Unidentified Fugly Object!

Remember when sleep around Sienna was a hot tamale? Back int hose days she could bust up any marriage with in a country mile, no matter how stable the relationship might be. That was before she put the moves on Russell Crowe during Nottingham. Russell had her booted off the film cause he’s shit terrified of his little woman. Sienna got spitey and tired to float rumors that Crowe was making trouble for his good friend Nottingham director Ridley Scott.

Well directors outrank actors so Sienna got herself up shit creek without a paddle. That sent her into GI Joe – which she described as a pleasure because it was something people actually wanted to see instead of all those stuffy Shakespeare screws Casanova Merchant Ivory prestige pieces calling for gratuitous use of high toned Brit accents that she was accustomed to doing, before she disgraced herself. Then she went off to Broadway which couldn’t of been a pleasure since no one wanted to see her.

So with her career falling towards reality TV she swallowed her pride, and possibly some oither stuff, and went crawling back to Jude Law. That’s the guy who’s marriage, career and looks she ruined several years ago. Jude got lucky via Rob Downey’s comeback. Jude starred in Sherlock Holmes with Downey, and the studios had to let Downey do more Holmes if they wanted him to do more Ironman. So that ment Law was creeping back up the Hollywood pecking order. Always one to hitch a ride, Sienna tried to cash in on Downey’s come back too, by attatching herself to Law’s cock like a police boot on the wheel of a car.

Life with Jude can’t be everything she’d hope for it too be, since Sienna doesn’t look as glamourous as she once did. The bloom is off of the rose. In fact the poor woman looks shiteous, and like the last rose of summer. If the above picture is any indication of the poor woman’s present condition she’d have to get a make over to land a librarian’s job.

Sienna ain’t the only UFO out there. Just set your faces to stun as you scan the following Veetle channel!

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True Colours? – Girls Just Want To Fun!

Sisterhood? Oh Brother!

Remember when Sienna Miller made that big deal about other women judging her. “It’s been a war” she said. Well the gal still got some fight left in her! Sleeparound Sienna got photoed groping Batz Getty in a highly public location, right outside LAX! For a woman who’s self esteem has been injured by the slings and arrows of outrageous publicity, she doesn’t seem to be trying to hide. Then again Sienna has generated most of the publicity that she’s crying out loud about! Then again what’s the big deal about getting judged?

Well Sienna has made a big deal out of it with her public statements. She seems to be blaming women for judging her, rather than accepting responsibility for her behaviour. Accepting responsibility doesn’t mean that she has to stop, it just means that she has to be prepared to accept the consequences and live with them (Say what you will about Angelina Jolie – and I’m no fan – but to a certain extent she’s done that).

Also a public backlash could hurt her career. If people won’t pay out money to see her, then it get’s tough to cast her in a film (In Jersey Girl people wouldn’t even pay to watch JLo die on screen!). Of course messing around in the wrong relationship could hurt her career even more, if some one influential gets PO’d.

She has to expect public reaction if she flaunts the behaviour. If she were more discreet there might be less of a backlash. It’s as if she’s rubbing everyone’s nose in it – especially the wife – and then acts shocked by the reaction. Getting pictured groping Getty in a highly public area only a short time after complaining about getting a hard time is too coincidental – you can’t tell me she’s not aware of what she’s doing. Methinks Sienna likes to play little games.

Batz will be gone once the novelty wears off, and his wife won’t put up with him any more. Then it’s off to find new worlds to conquer/destroy. Still she’s an odd girl to be crying foul.

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Sienna Miller Feels Judged

Sienna Miller says that she feels judged by other women.  In fact her exact words are :

“I’ve been at war, without a doubt. I’ve really experienced the judgment of women in the past year.”

“We say we want to be equal, but men don’t sit around bitching at each other. There’s no sisterhood.”

Or so she said in a recent Style Magazine interview. Now if Sienna feels judged then there might be some reason for it. Sienna has made a career out of going after married men, like Jude Law and Balthazar Getty, to the point where film acting has become merely a sideline. In both cases Sienna intruded upon established relationships with all the grace of a wrecking ball going through a wall!
So what’s the big deal?
Naturally there was some backlash. Sienna’s London flat got graffiti tagged with the word ‘slut’. Pictures of her frolicking with Getty made the tabs. You’ll probably recall them cause there the one’s with Bat’s hands on her cupcakes. Meanwhile  Getty was mewling away to the press claiming that he didn’t want to lose his wife, but he didn’t want to give up his drunken slut either. If only there were away he could have his cake and eat it too! Then things would work out for everyone; except the wife, and the mistress too for that matter.
“Don’t judge me, love me!”
That scandal set the paparazzi after Sienna like hounds after the hare. While Sienna snivelled for the camera with her “Why are you picking on me?” face, Mrs Getty managed to maintain her dignity in what must have been a highly humiliating situation. Sienna probably feels it was no big deal for Mrs Getty to keep cool; Sienna probably feels that she herself was the injured party. Bat’s wife didn’t have tabloid reporters running after her!
“Back me up here, losers!”

That would explain Sienna’s strange idea of ‘sisterhood’. She seems to think it means that other women will tolerate, condone, and even support her home wrecking antics. Why should she be to blame because other women couldn’t hang on to their husbands? If she has something that the other girls lack – like easy access – then they must be jealous! Why can’t women be more like men, and in the spirit of sisterhood celebrate her conquests? Perhaps it’s because she’s pointed herself at other women’s marriages like a torpedo at the side of a ship. If she’s not feeling much sisterhood these days, then perhaps it’s because she’s the one who dispensed with it first. Now you can’t have it both ways Sienna.

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