Nelly is like a deer in the headlines!

If you know anything about Sierra Blanco Texas it’s that you don’t go bringin’ your shit in there not even if you’re a celebrity. Bewildered songwriter Fiona Apple brought some hash in on her tour bus and they busted her ass. When she got mouthy and psychotic about it with her “my superfriends are watching you” public statement a Sierra Blanco peace officer went on to make a fool of her with his own public statement – “Now listen here honey“. Fiona should’ve known because that’s where Snoop Dogg got busted for weed – though he didn’t make a stink out of it or anything. The Snoopster should’a known cause Willie Nelson got busted there and Willie is a Texan, & if they’ll bust him then they’re gonna bust anyone.

The latest person to get in shit down in Sierra Blanco is rapper Nelly. Nelly’s tour bus was passing through the SB checkpoint when guess what happened. A police canine – not called Dopey Dogg, got a whiff of something he liked better than dog biscuits (I hear that they get those poor animals addicted so that they’ll be better at finding the stuff. PETA really ought’a get on that pronto!). What he found was a huge stash of weed. Huge stash means over ten pounds. The Crime Dog also found 36 small baggies of heroin (no word on whether they ere doggy bags). That totaled 64 ounces. Then the dogged investagator found a .45 calibre pistol. So the shit had hit the fan!

Now like I said Nelly should’a known better cause everyone I mentioned and Armie Hammer has got busted at that Sierra Blanco checkpoint recently. Fiona Apple only got busted with in the past few weeks and she wanted to make sure that everyone knew about it. Still they act like they don’t know. So they’re either like deer in the headlines headlights or moths at the flame.

Now you can’t blame Nelly for not paying attention to Apple because, who would? Also he was a little smarter than the others who went tumbling into the checkpoint. For oinething he had someone to take the rap – pardon the pun. One of the bus passengers – Brian Keith Jones – fessed up to officers that the gun, drugs, and weed was his. So while he got busted and booked Nelly and his entourage got to go free and pass on through.

So what’s the moral of the story? If you’re gonna go through Sierra Blanco then the only heroine you should have with you should be wearing bullet proof bracelets and a tiara. Otherwise you could be spending some time in the newly installed celebrity detention wing of the SB county jail!

So remember to keep reading wondertrash  – the beautiful bikini warrior of celeb gossip blogs & be your own hero!

Bill Maher: CrazyStupidPolitics

In other news Bill Maher is worse than Hitler. That’s a strong statement so let’s just say that they have a thing or two in common. For instance Bill Maher has some strong ideas about who should live and who should die. That’s what he himself said during a recent radio interview in which he described himself as “consistent pro death“. He also said that an added benefit to abortion is that, in addition to giving a woman a right to choose and control over her own body and reproduction, it stops a lot of the wrong people from getting born. He then went on to say that most sensible people think just like he does but they don’t have the guts to own up to it, like he does! Now he has a point there, but the catch is that most people disagree on whom those ‘wrong people’ are. Hopefully Maher has the foresight not to include his own regular viewers on any liquidation death list!

Now Maher’s statements sound like a he’s a raving psychotic a little outrageous. You don’t have to believe me though, not when you can hear Bill say it for himself by running the video below!

BTW Bill also says that he supports not only right to die euthanasia but suicide period across the board for anyone who feels like it. That means don’t call Maher for a pep talk if you’re having a bad day. Now word what got into him. Maybe he was having a bad day. Maybe he was being facetious. Halloween is around the corner and  maybe he was getting in the spirit. Or perhaps he’s really been waiting for that Dexter season premier.

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Texas Cop Takes a Bite Out of Fiona Apple

Fiona Apple
Cover of Fiona Apple

Remember when Fiona Apple got all psycho about her Texas arrest? She started making cryptic comments about encrypted holding cells and celebrity vendettas. Seems she was pissed off with about 4 people who were evolved with her recent incarceration. Well now we might know who 1 of the 4 is!

It’s not a voice in Fiona’s head either but a very real Texas law enforcement officer who got in connection with TMZ and released a statement to show the world that Fiona Apple really doesn’t frighten him. Nor do her fans which he describes as possibly in the thousands! The officer is Officer Rusty Fleming and here’s the statement that made TMZ:

First, Honey, I’m already more famous than you, I don’t need your help. However, it would appear that you need mine.Two weeks ago nobody in the country cared about what you had to say, — now that you’ve been arrested it appears your entire career has been jump-started. Don’t worry Sweetie, I won’t bill you.Next, have you ever heard of Snoop, Willie or Armand Hammer? Maybe if you would read something besides your own press releases, you would have known BEFORE you got here, that if you come to Texas with dope, the cops will take your DOPE away and put YOU in jail.Even though you and I only met briefly in the hallway, I don’t know you but I’m sure you’re an awesome and talented young woman and even though I’m not a fan of yours, I am sure there are thousands of them out there, and I’m sure that they would just as soon you get this all behind you and let you go back to what you do best—so my last piece of advice is simple “just shut-up and sing.”SincerelyRusty Fleming

So now you know that Fiona just wasn’t making up imaginary frenemies in her Texas holding cell. She actually managed to tick off at least one real person! As for the other 3, we’re still waiting for confirmation that they’re not Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, & the Tooth Fairy! Maybe they were “Me, myself, & I“.

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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Fiona Apples Knows Who You Are!

Fiona Apple — Explains Her Drug Arrest … In Most Bizarre Speech Ever – Watch More Celebrity Videos or Subscribe

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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Fiona Apple’s in a dilly of a pickle!

Scandal Saturday

Who let the Dogg out?

Snoop Dogg is not only out but on the grass (allegedly) in this recent youtube video (there was a little too much to be said to fit into Tweet form) where he had some wise words on the recent Kim Kardashian fiasco. Now play close attention cause you never know when this is gonna come in handy – especially if you start datin’ one of those reality TV stars.

He’s only sayin’ what everyone is thinkin’, right?

Cold blooded bitch” is a bit harsh. “A bit harsh” doesn’t make it untrue. InterestinglyKim Kardashian anagrams to I am a kind shark. With the hate fest in full swing it looks like that shark’s goose is cooked, that is unless she can find an inventive way of cashing in on all that ill will – & where there’s a will there’s away. Maybe she could appear publicly in a pillory and charge passerby’s to toss rotten fruit and vegetables at her. That is a basic motivation behind much reality type TV, which is really hi tech bear baiting minus the cruelty to animals!

Spice Girl

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When we last left Demi Moore she had been carted off to the emergency ward for something called whip its. Doing whip its is basically inhaling nitrous oxide to get high. People thought that this was a bit much because whip its are usually something that young people do; and Demi was expected to have the age, income, and sophistication to do better.

Then the 911 tape came out. That featured a ‘friend’ – and it’s always good to have a few in Hollywood just in case you start to code blue or something, some one who’s on the payroll but not in the will so they have an incentive to keep you breathing – saying that Demi took a bad turn after smoking something that wasn’t pot.

Current rumor is that it might have been Spice. Now Spice is a kind of herbal blend marketed as a legal marijuana substitute. Many forms are so mild that you can’t even get a decent buzz out of it. Others are sprayed with a toxic blend of designers chemicals that can leave you running to the toilet or on the way to the emergency ward fairly quickly!

Seal and Heidi are still in a crisis

With Demi Moore’s recent freak out and Fran Drescher‘s UFO abduction – she was chipped! – Seal and Heidi Klum‘s impending whatever nearly got lost in the shuffle. People were shocked at first because they always had made a big deal out of being so happy. Then people became quickly distracted. Part of the reason that folk may have got distracted was because it was no one was exactly sure what was happening. No one knew whether they were divorcing, taking a break, or reconciling.

Well here’s what we do know so far. Hedi initiated the split. Also the pair have a prenup. that comes in handy since Klum earned a healthy $70 mill. She’s got a few irons in the fire like a jewelry line and her Lifetime reality TV shows. Meanwhile Seal has a relatively paltry $15 mill.

Now it didn’t always used to be that way. When the got together back in 2005 the financial situation was more even. Klum was also knocked up and on the rebound from that Italian billionaire race car driver who dropped her like stale sour kraut.

Heidi’s had huge success since then. As said Heidi’s also the one who hired the lawyers. It’s kind of a truism that most relationships bust up over money. When one partner is worth about 5 times the other it could be a strain.

Then again as Heidi points out Seal does have a temper. She can’t give any specific examples of his temper problem – you know the kind of things that might frighten a woman like punching holes in walls, breaking things, or making threats – those mere trifling details that give people a clearer picture of what’s going on; even though she seems to feel pretty free in talking about the split up. He does have this Leica camera collection that he’s pretty fussy & picky about – oooh that monster!

don’t pay attention – play attention with Wondertrash!

So remember to keep reading Wondertrash and play attention cause like advice from the Snoop Dogg, you never know when it might come in handy!

Bogus zen: “People do not believe lies because they have to, but because they want to

Malcolm Muggeridge

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