Robert Pattinson makes new friends

Robert Pattinson has been making new friends ever since Kristen Stewart shocked the world & the Twilight Fandom Netherverse by cheating on him with her Snow White director Rupert Saunders. You’ll recall that Kristy was photoed making out with Saunders and then had to do a public mea culpe. Fans were more furious than democrats following the last presidential debate. It looked like Spiltsville with an option on heartbreak hotel as the U Haul lugged Stewart’s shit out of Pattinson’s home, and Stewie took his dog Bear hostage.

Stewie & Patzy patched it up, in time for the Twilight Breaking Up Part 2 promotional tour. So that had the fanverse split. Half figured that this was some PR spin move for the sake of the movie, and protecting Kristen Stewart’s fan base – an important movie industry asset. The other half wonder when Pattinson was gonna buy the ring and the pair would start popping out their brood of dark spawn. The latter were the ones who never stopped believing in Santa Claus, they just thought he grew fangs as they got older.

Rob, 26, was seen at New York City’s Electric Room with the sexy unidentified blonde at 3 a.m. on October 6. His arm was draped around her, and it totally looked like he was getting flirty!

Well it looks like the other shoe has finally dropped. Patzy was spotted out and about recently. He was busy nuzzling up with some mystery girl too. From the fuzzy pictures that are making the rounds we can’t actually be sure of who he’s with – maybe it’s not really a chick. One thing we can be relatively sure about is that it ain’t the love of his life, Vampira. This one’s a blondie.

Now steady on Twilight fans cause this might not be what it seems. Perhaps Patzy got a little peckish and was drawing some blood from a victim’s neck!


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Robert Pattinson Gives Kristen Stewart Wedding Ultimatum

Who’s sorry now?

Sounds like Patzy has popped the question with intent to tie the knot. This is a real good deal for Patzy cause Stewie‘s career has been more promising than his right up until she got carried away playing Snow White and the public turned on her. So if he takes her back people will forgive her – cause after all if Patz has why wouldn’t you? Then she can go on making movies and Patzy can be Mr. Kristen Stewart. The best part is that he’s got her over a barrel. She can’t say no now after betraying him, and the whole Twilight Netherverse with her wanton ways. If she’s serious with all those “I’m sorry’s” and “The most important person in the world” not to mention wearing his old shirts in public, she pretty much has to follow through cause she’s backed into a corner!

Hope Tom Cruise is taken’ note, cause this is how you handle a woman!

Oh the hi price of redemption. Let’s see Stewie squirm outta this one!

 They’re like superheroes, except they’re incredibly normal!


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Angelina Jolie or Baba Yaga?


Here’s a shot of Angelina Jolie taken during one of her good will junkets. With her boney arm and malicious grin I can’t help thinking that she looks like she should be offering Snow White a poisoned apple or something.


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Twilight – at least it’s not Love Story

Twilight fans – please, & in the words of Capt James T Kirk, commander of the USS Enterprise – “Get a Life!”

People come on – this is only a teen vampire movie. It’s not like this is Star Trek or anything!

Now that Pattinstew are unofficially officially back together after unofficially officially splitting people are asking “WTF?” Well Kristen cheated or something and broke the hearts of Twilight fans everywhere. She did that by cheating on the love of her life with her Snow White boss. Twihards’ hysterical reactions made the whole film franchise suddenly look silly.Like beyond Star Trek Convention silly!  That left Kristen wandering around in Rob’s old shirts and dragging Rob’s pet dog Bear by the leash as she cast her eyes about forlornly trying to see which direction her career left in, or which direction an attack of Twihards might come from. Meanwhile the final flick in the series was getting released. So clearly something had to be done!

Krissy & Robsy up in a tree

“Are we back on?” she asks

& he says “we’ll see”

Whether or not something was does something happened, or seemed to. Robsy and Krissy are back together, sort of. Apparently it’s at some tentative reconciliation phase yet where they’re living together but on a “we’ll see” basis. So Twihards can heavy a giant sigh of relief, & Krissy Stew is more or  less off the hook. Now that was a close one for her cause she was catchin’ backlash – though it’s not like she violated the Prime Directive or anything. That still leaves the general question of “WTF?” open. It’s best not to question the phenomenon that is Pattinstew too closely, because like any gothic soap opera, Twilight is full of shadows & misunderstandings – as the following short and entertaining clip will demonstrate!


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