US hockey in Sochi – what happened?

When it comes to entertainment sports is a main event. When it comes to hockey America is usually a pretty strong contender (Unless you’re talking about those southern franchises from states where they don’t have ice, sow hat can you expect?). Of the original 6 NHL teams 4 are American franchises. So in Olympic competition the USA can usually be counted on for a medal, and are usually a gold medal threat.

So what the fuck happened to them at the Sochi Winter Olympics? They blew their bronze medal game and went away without a medal, or a goal! Basically they lost 5-0. This is where expert analysis comes in. In this case the expert analysis comes from FOX Sports, and a seasoned respected hockey veteran. Let’s have a brief look at the following FOX video and try to glean a little insight into exactly where the American Hockey Train left the rails.

Alec Baldwin is leaving New York – what happened?

This never ever would’ve happened to them if they’d had Charlie Sheen on board. He whipped the Mighty Ducks into shape!  BTW it’s not only a bad day for American hockey. Things ain’t looking too good for Alec Baldwin either. He managed to offend some people with some impulsive remarks that he may or may not have made. Basically he was accused of using a homophobic slur against a photographer whom he felt was harassing his then pregnant wife. Alec said he didn’t say it and that he didn’t mean it,  but the brouhaha didn’t quite blow over. So that has Alex saying he’s getting the fuck out of New York – which he says has lost it’s soul anyway (according to a recent interview he says NYC’s soul has moved to Brooklyn). He also took the opportunity to deliver some tongue lashings, like:

“Morning Joe” co-host Joe Scarborough “is neither eloquent nor funny,” Baldwin wrote. He called MSNBC star Rachel Maddow “a phony who doesn’t have the same passion for the truth off-camera that she seems to have on the air.” He called CNN’s Anderson Cooper “the self-appointed Jack Valenti of gay media culture,” referring to the late motion picture association president who created the film ratings system.

Nothing personal. Alec has it in for the media these days:

“I loathe and despise the media in a way I did not think possible,” Baldwin writes. “This is the last time I’m going to talk about my personal life in an American publication ever again.” He also denies that he used a homophobic slur during the confrontation with the photographer. “Do you honestly believe I would give someone like TMZ’s Harvey Levin, of all people, another club to beat me with?” he writes.


“If MSNBC went off the air tomorrow, what difference would it make?”

Alec used to work with MSNBC, but his show got pulled followed his alleged controversial comments.

You can read more about Baldwin’s fare well & go to hell goodbye to New York @ Page 6. & USA Today.

Now the $64 000 dollar question is what is Alec gonna do to redeem himself? He could go on Dancing With The Stars. That’s the usual celebrity rehabilitation route. If he picks a same sex dance partner it would not only send out a positive message, but wife Hilaria could also rest assured that no hank panky is going on. That is unless Alec takes his rehabilitation really seriously. The problem with that is it’s totally overdone.

I’d suggest finding a Hollywood mentor to help him negotiate this difficult period. Now when it comes to handling himself in public few are in George Clooney’s league. That’s cause Clooney is as smooth as he is cool. The man never ever says one word out of place. He’s also got out of the USA and over to Lake Como Italy before anything untoward ever had a chance of happening. That’s very good planning. So with GC’s sage guidance Alec might be able to avoid unfotunate public gaffs inthe future. That only leaves the question of what to do aboutt he exsisting fallout.

Naturally there’s only one man for that job. Charlie Sheen has weathered more storms than Alec Baldwin has gotten around to yet. Any one of Charlie’s crisis might’ve finished lesser men. Yet Charlie not only survives but comes out stronger. He’s not reached the point where he’s accepted for who he is and so can live by his own rules. Let’s face it, the man’s a bona fide warlock! So he might be the very one tot each Baldwin how to ride the mercury surf board across the stormy shit tsunami now threatening to engulf his life. With Charlie to show him the way Baldwin might turn this whole thing around and come out bigger, stronger, and better than ever before. Let’s put it this way, it’s either that, or move to France. April’s coming up so it might be a nice time for Paris.

In the meantime hang in there Alec. Keep a low profile. Don’t say anything more than you have to. Maybe catch up on some long neglected hobbies. Sooner or later, and more sooner than later if experience is any indication, some other celebrity is gonna do or say something so outrageous that your current problems will be forgotten like a back page new item. There’s just no shortage of disgraced celebrities in the Internet age, and we’re getting more all the time.

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Pussy Riot vs the Riot Squad

The Riot Act

Outlaw Punk Band Pussy Riot gets a police beating in Sochi after interfering with Vladim ir Putin's plans once too often
Outlaw Punk Activist Band Pussy Riot

When you’re a member of Russian activist band Pussy Riot there are many things that you could be doing. For instance you could make a cool million by posing naked for Playboy. They wouldn’t be the first to make it naked. They could have their own reality TV series following their attempts to make it in the American music industry! They could even write their autobiographies blending their personal lives with the story of their political activism. Granted the ladies are a little young for memoirs, but that hasn’t stopped Miley Cyrus (whom I hear is still outraged about her name not having made Microsoft spell check yet!)! However it seems that the gals are more interested in acting like Julian Assange or something. In other words the girls are back in trouble! Let me explain…

Pussy Riot was more riot than pussy recently. It was at the Sochi Olympics. Now if rumors are to be believed this is Russian President Vladimir Putin‘s baby. It’s his chance to show case a world class Russia to the international community by showing everyone how far the country has come since the rough days following the fall of communism. In other words it’s a chance to make a good impression..

Sochi City Sirens: rogue heroes or no goodniks?

Now in life one person’s chance to make a good impression is often another person’s chance to make even more of an impression by spoiling things. That’s where Pussy Riot comes in. Putin is not universally beloved in Russia, and Pussy Riot has become a voice for those who would like him to retire, move on, and maybe crank out some baloney in the form of a political memoirs – as politicians usually due when their day in the sun is over. So the young ladies of PR like to give Mr Putin some help in the form of antagonizing him at every opportunity. Apparently there’s no better opportunity than the Sochi Winter Olympics. So like the Gotham City Sirens, the ladies swung into action (although without eye catching latex super heroine gear, which really might have helped their cause by attracting even more international media attention!).

So how did this recipe for disaster turn out? About how you’d expect only a little bit worse. The powers that be missed the whole political protest angle and cracked down on the outbreak of superdickery by sending in the cops. In this case the cops were the goon squad, and not the friendly funny goon squad with Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan either. This were a pack of ruthless bastards the likes of which Richard M Nixon might’ve sent onto American college campuses in the earlier 70’s to sort out student protesters by giving them a dose of reality!

Now what that means in plain words, and not blog content filler language, is that the ladies got the shit beat out of them. The police moved in, manhandled the band members, clubs and baton got swung, and then the Pussy Riot members were hauled off in a humiliating fashion. There was no defiant smirking to cameras as the were hustled off in handcuffs, but band members were carted off bodies and bones and bra straps into nearby waiting police wagons. They were then roughly loaded on board like so many sacks of potatoes on the way to the vodka distillery. Amazingly there is video of the shocking brutality and here it is – be warned, it’s not pretty!

something you’re not gonna see on Russia Today!

& remember to keep reading Wondertrash where everyday is a pussy riot of awkward protest and cyber vandalism! Well it’s mostly just cyber vandalism.

You don't ahve to be a Pussy Riot memeber to engage in random acts of wondertrash, just get invovled in some cyber vandalism - but bring your own latex cosplay super hero gear
Random acts of Wondertrash: Wonder Woman & the Statue of Liberty have never gotten along. It’s a girl rivalry thing!

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