baby, baby

James & Woods

It’s been awhile since we’ve heard about Tiger Woods. He’s career and public image went sideways ever since his umpteen sluts came out of the wood work. With that much loose DNA floating around it was only a matter of time before a love child came to light.

Devon James, a former fling fo the swinging golfer, has now come forth claiming that Tiger knocked her up. She claims to have gotten in the post modern family way back in 2000. She didn’t tell Tiger, and didn’t see him again until 2005. She claims that she was afraid that tiger would take her child from her. Since Tiger had a ferocious wife, and a family guy image to protect, that explanation sounds unlikely.

Now Tiger has neither the ferocious wife, nor the image to protect. He’s also so beleaguered with legal problems stemming from his off the green activities, that James feels safe to venture forth. She’s filed some official papers for palimony & child support. Plus she is now claiming, as reported on TMZ, that the Tiger gave her some gifts.

The gifts came back in 2006 – 2008 when Woods & James began seeing each other again. That’s also about the time James worked up the nerve to tell Tiger that he had a son. While Tiger refused to acknowledge the kid, he did pass along the official Tiger Love Child Gift Basket – a mini golf club, a bracelet, and a hat. If the pix of the lad are any indication, he also passed on a family resemblance!

tiger woods being sued for palimony over alleged love childmake room for father

Tiger Woods may be getting some unwelcome news for Father’s Day, but it looks like part time actor and full time poker player Ben Affleck is getting some welcome news. His missus, former Alias hottie (that is that she was formerly on TV show Alias, not that she’s ‘formerly hot’) Jennifer Garner is expecting her 3rd child. Garner was out and about recently, for a hike around the Pacific Palisades. That’s not unusual. What was out of the ordinary was the extra bulge she was carrying with her. The suspicious bulge was no celebrity tote bag or fanny pack crammed full of those things they can’t leave the house without: like premium bottled water, cell phone, black berry, designer sunglasses, emergency facial filler, stash, etc. This bump was squarely centered in the baby making area. So the talk is that the Affleck-Garners are expanding their family. With that big new home they bought they can certainly spare the room.

As to that other Jennifer Garner rumour that’s been floating around it’s safe to say that Jen is not going to be playing Lucille Ball in an upcoming big budget Follywood biopic! Unless, that is, she is.

bottle baby is a boob

Now from actual babies to virtual ones; those grown up celebrities who act like they’re still in diapers. Lady Gaga has got herself in shit with her favourite team, the New York Yankees, by showing up drunk. Nothing wrong with being drunk at a baseball game, but Gaga completely lost whatever composure she might be said to have. She attended Friday wearing a pin stripped Yankees jersey, and no bottoms. She then proceeded to swig whiskey and grope her boobs.

After the game she stormed the Yankees clubhouse uninvited, and even had a run in with ARod. However she was too drunk to speak. She generally made an ass of herself. So now she’s been officially banned by the Yankees from their clubhouse. I guess that baby likes her bottle a little too much! It also looks like Gaga may have unofficially jumped the shark & lost her touch. Sports are still sacred in America. If she wanted to pull this shit then she should have attended the World Cup. Besides, with those thousands of vuvuzelas, Gaga’s annoyance factor would scarcely be noticed.

lady gaga banned from Yankees clubhouse for boozy trampy antics

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Curious Orange Eager Beavers

Here’s the 1st Wondertrash World Cup story. Seems that the wave of exuberance hitting international soccer community is now reaching criminal extremes! If you’ve been following the Cup and the surrounding stories then you may have heard of the Dutch supporters who show up to Netherlands matches in tight orange mini dresses. Since they’re all attractive young women this is getting some attention from the media – though not as much as it might if the mini dress wearers were a pack of stocky, balding, bearded, hairy chested middle aged males (the males would have larger boobs for one thing!). Marketing experts can’t think of everything.

The Orange Brigade finally got themselves really noticed. Seems a pair of the young Netherlands supporters got themselves arrested for parading around the stands in their gaudy skimpy glad rags. Not because they revealed anything, but because it was revealed that they were part of an unauthorized advertising campaign.

Now since the advertising in the World Cup is more valuable than Superbowl time, and even more tightly sown up, the powers that be didn’t take kindly to these surprise tactics. So the young ladies got arrested, hauled off, booked, and arraigned. The young women don’t seem to take their predicament very seriously. They were seen and photographed smirking throughout their arraignment. They even stated , for the press, that they can’t believe that they’re in trouble for this, and that they should be allowed to wear anything that they like. FIFA doesn’t see it that way, and has accused the young women, and the instigators behind them, of “ambush marketing“. Maybe they meant ‘bush marketing’. Anyway the whole thing is still up before the courts. That means even more attention to the Orange Gals, and their mysterious backers! One thing, it’s good that these young ladies weren’t part of a Canadian marketing scheme since we don’t need stories about the Beaver Patrol!

FIFA might be going over board by punishing initiative in this way. The most you can say about it is that it’s a crude, below the belt marketing ploy that succeeded in spite of it’s self. The success is largely because FIFA has drawn more attention to the stunt by prosecuting the women. Further more it sets up a ‘defiance against authority’ angle of the kind that PETA used to love: youthful women suppressed by a greedy cartel of international fuddy duddies. FIFA might have been better off letting this slide. The whole thing might have been worked out if a competitor sprays down the young lovelies with rival colours – maybe pink! That would have the added advantage of sopping wet young women squealing and wiggling around in your official standard!

Let it slide that is, unless these young women are involved in some kind of reality TV pilot. Given the new disturbing new rumours about around the world 16 year old Abby Sunderland – her broke ass father was pimping out a reality TV show while she was setting off seaward and unsupervised (give him a break, he’s broke & unemployable with 7 kids to support. If it worked out they’re rich – & the worst case scenario is one less mouth to feed) – reality TV might be a real possibility! In that case these little tramps should be punished to the fullest extent of the law, and beyond if possible. They’d be getting off easy – if what we’ve seen of reality TV is any indication participants might have a better chance with a case of terminal cancer.

wondertrash

Lady Gaga – take me out of the Ballgame

Celebrity = epic fail!


Lady Gaga
attended a Mets game recently and pushed the outrage factor way too far. For one thing she showed up in her underwear. For another she started flashing that hand gesture so popular among young women nowadays – the bird.

Naturally this lead to some concern & consternation on behalf of stadium managers. For one thing the outrage over bear drinking baby hadn’t blown over yet,. So anxious to avoid a scandal they whisked Gaga off to Jerry Seinfeld’s private box. It was more practical than dropping a tarp over her, since Gaga would have rejected the tarp unless she was first heavily sedated.

In retrospect a tranquilizer gun and tarp might’ve been a better solution (or even a straight jacket and a ball gag), since the Mets have had to issue an official apology to Seinfeld for unauthorized use of his box. Gaga didn’t emerge unscathed either. Fans were outraged and Gaga had to apologize. Lady G said that she’d “Bleed for my city & die for my fans“. I believe that’s even gonna be the name of her next album! When it comes to Mets attendance they’d probably be happy if she just put on some clothes, sat down, and STFU! Little note to Lady G: You don’t mess with pro sports in America, it’s like religion or politics, only much more so. Remember what happened to Roseanne Barr Arnold?

Roseanne got herself in some hot water over that stunt. People thought that it was un American. Roseanne tried to explain that her butchering of the national anthem and crotch grab was a parody of pro baseball and not a statement about her country: baseball players are notorious for groin scratching and the National Anthem is often poorly performed. However people felt that a knock against baseball was even more un American. Not even Madonna’s defense helped much.

Rosie might have a point about frequent butchering of the anthem. In fact it’s often more jarring when it’s done straight, and without tongue in cheek.

It seems there’s a little celebrity in everyone, just like there’s a little bad even in the best of us!

BTW Ms. Tila Tequila has some interesting theories on Lady Gaga. Tila believes that Gaga may be part of some sort of Illuminati plot. She may even have gone Faustian. “Gone Faustian” means she sold her soul to the devil. For Tila’s extensive post on this, including references to subliminal suggestions and hypniotic states, like to MsTilaOMG. You can also listen to The View From Space on 640 AM Toronto tonite promptly @ 8 PM EST.

http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docid=-475523191884042956&hl=en&fs=true

wondertrash

Happy FIFA

Athletic supporters!

The World Cup is gearing up. Robbie Williams has come over all excited, on myspace that is. He’s even trying to drum up celebrity support among Woody Harrelson and other similar types (Mike Myers & Michael Sheen; even Charlie Sheen isn’t C List enough for that event yet – though participation might help that whole Section 8 routine he’s been pulling lately. The guy’s done everything except announce that he’s leaving the world of acting for a career in hip hop!).

Woody’s a fine actor but hasn’t done much since the bar closed down. Is he C List or B Side of the B List? Fame’s permutations can get complicated, especially when folk start standing on the record and standing up for their place in the pecking order. Meanwhile Ian McShane is still unconfirmed for Robbie’s Soccer Aid event.

sports bra bondage

Meanwhile, in the world of real pro sports:


¸„ø¤ GO Philly GOø¤º°¨¨¨°º¤ø¸„♫♪PHILay Ole Ole♫♪ø¤º°¨¨¨¨°º¤ø¸„ø¤ GO Philly GOø¤º°¨¨¨°º¤ø¸„♫♪Philay Ole Ole♫♪ø¤º°¨¨¨°º¤ø¸„ø¸„ø¤ GO FLIERS GOø¤º°¨¨¨°º¤ø¸„♫♪philay Ole Ole♫♪ø¤º°¨¨¨¨°º¤ø¸„ø¤ GO Philly GOø¤º°¨¨¨°º¤ø¸„♫♪PHILAY Ole Ole♫♪ø¤º°¨¨¨°º¤ø¸„ø¤

Anyway let’s get World Cup Mania started off on the right foot with probably the greatest Brit Soccer song ever, the Football Song, better known as Robson’s Glory Boys!

http://www.facebook.com/v/426101545032

Blogged with the Flock Browser


For Soccer Aid tickets, click here or call 0844 576 2010.For the Sir Bobby Robson Foundation (dedidcated to fighting cancer) hit SBRF.

While You Were Sleeping

LT is in a hell of a lot of trouble

Looks like Lawrence Taylor is in trouble again. By trouble I mean that he’s been charged with having nonconsensual sex with a young woman under the age of 18. The young lady met Mr. Taylor through her pimp. The pimp beat the shit out of her to motivate her to have sex with the man she described as an “old, bald husky guy with a goatee”. The woman received $300 for her trouble.

Don’t judge or book by it’s cover or even by the first several chapters!

Now Lawrence insists that he’s innocent. In fact when the police came to arrest him he was asleep. His lawyer insists that LT not only didn’t rape the girl, but didn’t even have sex with her. Further more LT’s wife thinks that it could be a set up – even though prosecutors believe that the young alleged victim is too stupid to be anything other than honest, and a victim. The young woman did text her uncle immediately after the alleged encounter – so who knows whether or not he thought “payday!“.

Fame to shame – Story developing/to be continued!

If LT gets convicted of this he could be looking at 5+ years behind bars. So he well motivated to beat the rap. Meanwhile that leaves lawyers, journalists, and other career bottom feeders squaring off for a piece of the action as a sports legend continues to go down in flames.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32545640

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

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Elizabeth Hasselbeck in tears

some time

If you’re a regular viewer of The View then from time to time you probably ask yourself “What’s Elizabeth Hasselback babbling about this time?” If you’re a regular follower of Babs & co. then you probably ask yourself that every week day around 11 AM. Let’s face it – she’s Ned Flanders to America’s Homer!

so when did Ned Flanders get the sex change?

That is until recently. This current youtube clip f the fair Liz show her babbling away as usual, but crying as well. It’s not clear what provoked this fit of low key suburban dusty rose shag rug hysteria. Perhaps it was some cross words she’s rumored to have had with sports hussy Erin Andrews. Or maybe her bunt cake didn’t come out right – and she was gonna have Babs and the girls over for coffee & cake after the show too! Either way Liz is blubbing and babbling away about her kids and Bible devotionals – only slightly more than usual.

Nel Flanders is a goofy two shoes

She’s more than a goofy two shoes – she wouldn’t say “fuck” if her mouth was full of it! She may have also gone too far this time. Saying that Erin Andrews was encouraging her creepy stalker by sashaying around scantily clad on Dancing With the Stars comes uncomfortably close to saying that she asks for it. Now there are even talks that Elizabeth may be let go from the View, finally. So you can tell why she’s so worked up! It may take more than tears, children, and Bible devotionals to save her this time. The situation may call for a radical quantum leap in political correctness – like Gaea worship for instance. Here’s a short video which might help Ms. Hasselbeck get in touch with her inner goddess!

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Tiger Woods Update

In the wake of Tiger Woods reentry into the world of pro golf, and that unfortunate, tasteless Nike ad, the pressure is once again off Jesse James and squarely back on Tiger. People are discussing his fondness for kinky sex practices like A2M, questioning howq he could let Nike feature him in their ad, and wondering whether he still has what it takes to do it again on the golf course. So now after the close of day 1 @ the masters here is your Tiger Woods Update:

[redlasso id=’992fb43c-f799-4de4-b107-7585962f913f’]

[redlasso id=’c5a8000c-96e4-45f9-8734-edf53a0130fe’]

Tiger works hard and plays hard; but does he know when, and how, to ease off? You have to give him his due though, when it comes to playing with his balls he’s an expert at getting it in the hole. Too expert, perhaps.

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