Angelina Jolie considering pre wedding surgery?

Imagine for a moment that you’re Angelina Jolie. It’s cold out side so go and stick your mouth onto something metal and frozen, then pull your lips away quick after they’ve stuck on. That might help you get into character. Now imagine that you’re marrying Brad Pitt – according to the National Enquirer. You’ve found the perfect wedding gown but there’s just one slight problem – it doesn’t go with you’re arms. What do you do?

Well according to In Case You Didn’t Know you opt for something radical. In this case radical is surgery! You see Jolie has a slight problem with veins. It’s nothing really serious but to hear some people talk you’d think she had more lines running up and down her arms than Spiderman! Unfortunately for Jolie she’s taken the vein talk to heart. She wants her special day to be perfect. So her inner Bridezilla is taking over and deciding that nothing can stand in the way of perfection.

According to a source “Angie has always had a complex about how her veins jut out, but she never had an incentive to do anything about it until now. She’s chosen a sleeveless gown for her wedding day, and the last thing she wants is to be looking like a freak in the photographs.”

 Another source said, “Angie could probably fix the problems with her veins herself if she’d just put on some weight, but that’s not an option to her. She’s so immersed in directing her movie and working such crazy hours that food is the last thing on her mind. I’m sure that if she took the time to bulk up, everything in her life – including the toll all the weight loss has taken on her body – would fall into place. But Angie’s just too busy to eat. She’s also convinced that she needs to stay super skinny to maintain her sex appeal.”

 The source added, “That leaves her no option but surgery to tidy up those veins. The last thing she wants is for it to get worse. As she jokes to Brad, ‘I’m already vain enough!’”

Now that shouldn’t be major surgery or anything. Sounds like nothing more complicated than getting varicose veins removed. People do that all the time. Still a few extra pounds might not hurt. Back in her feisty &  fleshy prime, in those old Tomb Raider days. AJ’s fighting weight was about 130 pounds. That was at about 5′ 7″. It’s dropped a lot since then. Naturally bulking up with food and exercise can be demanding and even a full time job for the chronically slender.

However there’s got to be something less extreme than surgery. For instance she could always give horse estrogen a try! If Angelina does it then it could start a trend! Who knows where that might lead? Possibly to side effects. Once those powerful chemicals combine with pre wedding jitters the beast inside her might take over like a case of demon possession! She’d go full tilt Bridezilla! In such a  case there might be no holding her back! Are we really ready for Angelina Unleashed?

Then again maybe it’s not such a big deal. Think of it as like removing a few stray threads from a classic designer gown.

Horse estrogen & snide effects?

Today’s blog spot is dedicated to that unsung hero of Hollywoodthe Unknown Celebrity! Just because you don’t know who some one is doesn’t mean that they’re not famous. It could be that hot chick in the commercial, or that guy from the cult TV show, or even the voice from an animated TV hit sit com. For instance, you prob wouldn’t recognize Dan Castellaneta if you ran into him on the street, unless he said “D’oh”.

If you’ve gotta be famous, then the best way is being famous anonymously

wondertrash
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