Ted Nugent Offers Disingenuous "Apology" For Calling Obama A "Subhuman Mongrel"

Ted goes off half cocked, shoots from the lip

Ted Nugent is many things. He’s a genuinely talented musician. Although zany, he’s an articulate & outspoken advocate for the causes he supports. He’s an inflammatory media personality who can be counted on to say something outrageous. These days he’s also up to his neck in shit. That’s because while debating a cause he fervently believes in – the right to bear arms, he got carried away and called US President Barack Obama a ‘sub human mongrel’. That at about 2:50 on the above tape.

while talking to the good people at guns.com recently motor city mad man Ted Nugent got a little carried away while using his 1st ammendment rights to defend his 2nd ammendment rights. Then he called US President Barack Obama a really nasty name
America’s Crazy Uncle Ted

Now to understand a multi faceted personality like Ted Nugent you have to put him in context. Every other family in America has a “crazy uncle”. He’s usually your mom or dad’s youngest sib. His parents were too old and tired to deal with him so he grew up wild & doing pretty much whatever the fuck he wanted. He drops by your house unexpected, because your parents would never invite him. When he shows up he’s stinking of booze and weed. Some completely messed up girl who looks like a stripper is hanging on his arm. He invites himself in and spends the evening regaling everyone with tales of fucking and fighting. While the children gather around to listen eagerly, mom looks like she’s about to give birth to an ulcer. Dad just kind of stares blankly into space while nursing a strong drink. Occasionally dad nods and says something non committal like “uh huh”, or “hmmmm”. The theme of the evening is “let’s just get this over with”. If the scene were a painting it would be Norman Rockwell by Salvador Dali! Basically Nugent is America’s Crazy Uncle Ted & friendly bad influence.

So that brings us back to Ted and the shit he’s in. Ted was giving an interview to the good people over at guns.com. They have a lot in common, like their support of the second 2nd Amendment, and their liberal exercise of the 1st Amendment. That’s an admirable thing. More Americans should probably bother to acquaint themselves with the workings of their government, and involve themselves in it’s processes. That’s taking democracy back and making it work for the people – like it was intended to do (but if you put the foxes in charge of the hen house then what can you expect?). Problem is that Ted got carried away. Then he called the US Pres Barack Obama a real nasty name.

Now as you can imagine that hasn’t gone over very well. For one thing Ted is actively campaigning for Rick Perry‘s successor to the Texas governorship. I’m sure that the Republicans were glad to have him on board. It projects the right image – that conservative politics is as relevant to cool outlaw rock n rollers as it is to too big to fail wall street brokers. The common touch is where ever you find it! Of course now with Ted spouting racist type language of the kind that wouldn’t be welcome on Duck Dynasty, the right wing is distancing it’s self from Ted “Loose Cannon” Nugent. Like when Rick Perry showed up on CNN and admitted that he personally has a problem with anyone calling his president a ‘sub human mongrel’.

So where does that leave us. For one thing Ted probably ain’t getting invited out to any more political rallies. Professional politicians have enough trouble explaining their own gaffs without having to take responsibility for other peoples. It also leaves Ted backpedaling in the form of an apology. Apology is a fine thing, though some have described his as a bit ‘half hearted’. Since his original comments were a bit half cocked, maybe it evens out in sort of the same way that two wrongs make a right or something.

Then again lets hope that Crazy Uncle Ted is more responsible with his 2nd Amendment rights then he is in discharging his 1st Amendment rights. In the meantime Ted’s future forays into the public eye will probably be increasingly uninvited and unexpected. As entertaining as those might be, they might be a bit of a challenge to get through! Now here’s that apology!

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Nelly is like a deer in the headlines!

If you know anything about Sierra Blanco Texas it’s that you don’t go bringin’ your shit in there not even if you’re a celebrity. Bewildered songwriter Fiona Apple brought some hash in on her tour bus and they busted her ass. When she got mouthy and psychotic about it with her “my superfriends are watching you” public statement a Sierra Blanco peace officer went on to make a fool of her with his own public statement – “Now listen here honey“. Fiona should’ve known because that’s where Snoop Dogg got busted for weed – though he didn’t make a stink out of it or anything. The Snoopster should’a known cause Willie Nelson got busted there and Willie is a Texan, & if they’ll bust him then they’re gonna bust anyone.

The latest person to get in shit down in Sierra Blanco is rapper Nelly. Nelly’s tour bus was passing through the SB checkpoint when guess what happened. A police canine – not called Dopey Dogg, got a whiff of something he liked better than dog biscuits (I hear that they get those poor animals addicted so that they’ll be better at finding the stuff. PETA really ought’a get on that pronto!). What he found was a huge stash of weed. Huge stash means over ten pounds. The Crime Dog also found 36 small baggies of heroin (no word on whether they ere doggy bags). That totaled 64 ounces. Then the dogged investagator found a .45 calibre pistol. So the shit had hit the fan!

Now like I said Nelly should’a known better cause everyone I mentioned and Armie Hammer has got busted at that Sierra Blanco checkpoint recently. Fiona Apple only got busted with in the past few weeks and she wanted to make sure that everyone knew about it. Still they act like they don’t know. So they’re either like deer in the headlines headlights or moths at the flame.

Now you can’t blame Nelly for not paying attention to Apple because, who would? Also he was a little smarter than the others who went tumbling into the checkpoint. For oinething he had someone to take the rap – pardon the pun. One of the bus passengers – Brian Keith Jones – fessed up to officers that the gun, drugs, and weed was his. So while he got busted and booked Nelly and his entourage got to go free and pass on through.

So what’s the moral of the story? If you’re gonna go through Sierra Blanco then the only heroine you should have with you should be wearing bullet proof bracelets and a tiara. Otherwise you could be spending some time in the newly installed celebrity detention wing of the SB county jail!

So remember to keep reading wondertrash  – the beautiful bikini warrior of celeb gossip blogs & be your own hero!

Bill Maher: CrazyStupidPolitics

In other news Bill Maher is worse than Hitler. That’s a strong statement so let’s just say that they have a thing or two in common. For instance Bill Maher has some strong ideas about who should live and who should die. That’s what he himself said during a recent radio interview in which he described himself as “consistent pro death“. He also said that an added benefit to abortion is that, in addition to giving a woman a right to choose and control over her own body and reproduction, it stops a lot of the wrong people from getting born. He then went on to say that most sensible people think just like he does but they don’t have the guts to own up to it, like he does! Now he has a point there, but the catch is that most people disagree on whom those ‘wrong people’ are. Hopefully Maher has the foresight not to include his own regular viewers on any liquidation death list!

Now Maher’s statements sound like a he’s a raving psychotic a little outrageous. You don’t have to believe me though, not when you can hear Bill say it for himself by running the video below!

BTW Bill also says that he supports not only right to die euthanasia but suicide period across the board for anyone who feels like it. That means don’t call Maher for a pep talk if you’re having a bad day. Now word what got into him. Maybe he was having a bad day. Maybe he was being facetious. Halloween is around the corner and  maybe he was getting in the spirit. Or perhaps he’s really been waiting for that Dexter season premier.

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Whackydoo Wondertrash

Texas Cop Takes a Bite Out of Fiona Apple

Fiona Apple
Cover of Fiona Apple

Remember when Fiona Apple got all psycho about her Texas arrest? She started making cryptic comments about encrypted holding cells and celebrity vendettas. Seems she was pissed off with about 4 people who were evolved with her recent incarceration. Well now we might know who 1 of the 4 is!

It’s not a voice in Fiona’s head either but a very real Texas law enforcement officer who got in connection with TMZ and released a statement to show the world that Fiona Apple really doesn’t frighten him. Nor do her fans which he describes as possibly in the thousands! The officer is Officer Rusty Fleming and here’s the statement that made TMZ:

First, Honey, I’m already more famous than you, I don’t need your help. However, it would appear that you need mine.Two weeks ago nobody in the country cared about what you had to say, — now that you’ve been arrested it appears your entire career has been jump-started. Don’t worry Sweetie, I won’t bill you.Next, have you ever heard of Snoop, Willie or Armand Hammer? Maybe if you would read something besides your own press releases, you would have known BEFORE you got here, that if you come to Texas with dope, the cops will take your DOPE away and put YOU in jail.Even though you and I only met briefly in the hallway, I don’t know you but I’m sure you’re an awesome and talented young woman and even though I’m not a fan of yours, I am sure there are thousands of them out there, and I’m sure that they would just as soon you get this all behind you and let you go back to what you do best—so my last piece of advice is simple “just shut-up and sing.”SincerelyRusty Fleming

So now you know that Fiona just wasn’t making up imaginary frenemies in her Texas holding cell. She actually managed to tick off at least one real person! As for the other 3, we’re still waiting for confirmation that they’re not Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, & the Tooth Fairy! Maybe they were “Me, myself, & I“.

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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Fiona Apples Knows Who You Are!

Fiona Apple — Explains Her Drug Arrest … In Most Bizarre Speech Ever – Watch More Celebrity Videos or Subscribe

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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Fiona Apple’s in a dilly of a pickle!

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