Jennifer Aniston is slowly hen pecking Justin Theroux to death!

a little tittle tattle

There are new disturbing reports about Jennifer Aniston‘s love life. Now she’s had a long string of misery ever since Brad Pitt ran away with the homewrecker. However if the tittle tattle about her Justin Theroux affair can be believed, then Angelina Jolie was involved in more of an intervention than a Pittnapping. Now Jenny’s been through a long dry spell so a little over compensation can be expected, but what you’re about to her could make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up on end – especially if you’ve been in one of those relationships.

short pants romance

According to a variety of sources like such as In Touch among others and quoted by celeb gossip site Gossip Cop – they bust bad dish – the Theroux Affair is starting out like Seymour & Agnes Skinner and in danger of blossoming into some kind of Norman Bates arrangement! Quoting heavily from InTouch though disavowing any sympathy with the mag’s editorial line, CG’s post refers to Aniston ‘mothering‘ Theroux. Mothering means “calling all the shots” & “wearing the pants“. Specifically this means that Aniston is interfering with Theroux in such ways as deciding which of his little friends he’s allowed to go out to play with. Specifically there’s some East Coast crowd that she considers to be some kind of bad influence. She keeps them at bay by preventing Theroux from wandering away. So when they have a play date Aniston books the restaurant. Choice gives control! That might not be so bad except unnamed sources also claim that she picks the entrees, cuts his meat, and wipes his chin!

Life is such a mess that he’s going bald from stress!

Then there’s the hair issue. Seems that Theroux is starting to lose it. So Aniston has whipped up some special shampoo in a touchingly GOOPy move to help stem the receding tide. She’s also enlisted celebrity stylist Chris MacMillian to come up with some kind of camouflage makeover to disguise the ravages of romance on the poor man’s scalp. The comb over is a ‘reaction’, & has only ever made a bad situation worse. In many cases it is only treating the symptom instead of the underlying cause of male pattern baldness – estrogen allergy!

Hope the blood on that signature ain’t dried yet!

All this got stirred up a couple of months ago when it was reported, and then denied, that Theroux had joined up with Aniston’s agents – CAA. Now that story has been allegedly discredited, but it would fit the whole Mama Carlson pattern emerging. Booking Theroux up with her agents would give her major influence over his burgeoning career, by determining what world he gets and who he gets to work with, and thereby what professional contacts he builds up. It’s taking charge of the whole professional networking issue by putting herself in a position to direct the traffic. So if he doesn’t want to cooperate, then he’s decided that he doesn’t want a career either! Of course and as stated, Theroux hasn’t officially sold his soul.

missing links

It would be easy to be judgmental about Jen, especially if you’ve seen that Misery movie with Kathy Bates & James Caan. For one thing these are only rumours. Rumours practically beg you to jump to a conclusion (That’s because they leave out so many steps that they require a leap of faith to follow the story. If you don’t watch your step you can even get stuck in a suspension of disbelief!).

Kathy Bates & Norman Bates & Little Lambsy Ivy

Besides it’s been a rough few years for Jen. She hasn’t been a happily married woman since, well grunge was a popular alternative musical style! There have been a number of close calls and near misses with guys like Gerry Butler. However the countdowns got scrubbed before things got off the launching pad! No trip around the moon and no happily ever after splash down. So maybe after finally finding some one she really likes Jen has decided that this one won’t get away ever. That wouldn’t make it the first time in human history that a guy’s *wings* got clipped by an insecure & overbearing woman. On the bright side now they get to be *friends* forever – unless Justy can invest in an effective pair of sneakers. Then the show can be transformed from Mama Knows Best into a Roadrunner episode!

Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux

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