911 tape:Demi Moore ‘smoked something’ before convulsions

Demi Moore has had some wild adventures recently but their nothing compared to Fran the Nanny Drescher. Many of you will know her as the gal from TV with the annoying voice and the Lucille Ball humour and good looks. Well there’s a lot more to her than that. In addition to being a talented comedienne she’s also out of this world – literally.

Once there was a girl from Flushing Queens;
then aliens snatched her up with transporter beams.

You see not long ago and in a galaxy near you Fran was abducted by aliens; and so was her husband Peter Marc Jacobson, in a separate incident. According to Fran, and “in all seriousness”:

“You know, it’s funny, because Peter and I both saw (aliens) before we knew each other, doing the same thing, driving on the road with our dads,” Drescher said, “in all seriousness.”

“We were both in junior high. A few years later, we met, and we realized that we had the same experience. I think that somehow we were programmed to meet,” Drescher says. “We both have this scar. It’s the exact same scar on the exact same spot.”

“I said to him, that’s what the aliens programmed us to think. But really, that’s where the chip is.”

Who would’ve guessed that the girl we described,
must’ve stopped taking what her doctor prescribed?

This is not only the kind of story that the National Enquirer used to dream about, but the first hi profile celebrity alien abduction since Anne Heche was Celestia! If you’ll recall Annie‘s space trip began innocently with automatic writing and ended in public nudity and a visit from the police! As for Fran’s, her PR rep is still at a loss for words, and probably working on a letter of resignation!


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Curious George & Dimpled Chad

the President is still allegedly American
conspiracy theories and the “other” Mrs. Obama

President Barack Obama has been getting some grief from conspiracy theorists since he was elected. The most notable theory but by no means the only one is that Barack Obama was born in Kenya, and so is ineligible to be President based on not being native born. It’s not the only one. Other theories say that Obama is a Muslim, and atheist, a socialist, and a Vulcan from Krypton. One theory even purports that Obama is not actually black – but an attractive white woman who began impersonating a black man when she first decided to position herself for the presidency. The idea was that since Hillary Clinton had the chick vote sown up, an another angle was needed. While that is an intriguing theory, I think that it was probably dreamed up by someone who watched White Chicks too often while stoned.

A good offensive defense

The sad thing is that the President, if I may call her that, has felt the need to start addressing this issues; which by her own words are unworthy of comment. Barack Obama, with Michelle at his side, appeared on Oprah a little while ago to assure the American People that he is in fact an American, and that Donald Trump was no better than reality TV’s version of a carnival barker. Though Donald was much gratified by the mention.

I can’t tell the difference – these faked alien birth certificates are just as good as our real earth ones!

Though Oprah never once doubted him, I guess he felt that others needed reassurance. Not everyone is a graduate in The Course in Miracles, like Oprah; so their faith might need support. Just like the Apostles on the Sea of Galilee. To that end Obama also produced evidence of himself – not in the form of bread and fishes, but in the form of a Hawaiian birth certificate dated Aug 5 1961. Not that any one believed it. It was quickly picked apart on the Internet where some of the more committed among the lunatic fringe quickly analysed it for evidence of improper extra terrestrial tamper. Of course the birth Certificate came out clean. Since the aliens are years ahead of the human race technologically (they only lag behind us in bloody mindedness, which built this planet; and along with our atmosphere is our best defence against space invaders) this doesn’t prove anything. Maybe we just aren’t advanced enough to detect the signs of their technological interference in much the way that we’re still trying to decipher the hidden meaning of crop circles using the Enigma Code, with pi as a key (Steven Spielberg did suggest that they use music as a possible basis for decoding “Just like my ET!”, but the scientific community didn’t take him too seriously. The idea would’ve had more credibility coming from former physicist James Avatar Cameron).

Coming Soon

The probably with going on the defensive that way is that you never know when to stop until you’ve past the point of no return. In public figures that can be bad. Tom Cruise was off the couch and on the way home without realizing the damage he’d done to his image on Oprah (Some one should’ve got the President to watch that episode when he decided that appearing on Oprah would clear things up). First Obama’s showing his birth certificate, next he’s peeing in a cup on Livestream – like Charlie Sheen. What would come next? Perhaps some lively Sheen’s Korner type channel on youtube, featuring the President directly addressing the American People with frequent updates on his personal life. Since his personal life is no where near as colourful as Charlie’s he should skip that. The closest thing he has to a goddess is wife Michelle and she’s been camera shy ever since she got shit for touching the Queen. “Come here and say ‘hi’ Michelle.” “Barry no.” “Oh go, on we’re on youtube!” Of course if the Pres starts addressing the Vulcan Muslim atheist issue, or pulling down his pants to prove that he is in fact a man then we’ll know that he’s gone too far; though become way more interesting!

The Nobel Award for outstanding motion picture achievement in sanctimonious high mindedness!

In this one thing at least Obama would’ve done well to have taken a page from the Book of Bush. If you’ll recall Bush was never supposed to be President either – but you didn’t hear him defending himself. He was never supposed to be pres because he stole the election – allegedly. It happened down in the state of Florida where George stole about 300 votes from Al Gore (the democratic Party’s Dan Quayle and way too interested in rain forest frogs to be relevant to tax payers, though the Motion Picture Academy and the Nobel Prize Committee liked him well enough – give those two esteemed bodies something in common!), and he did it with the help of some one called Dimpled Chad.

the Ballad of Dimpled Chad

Now I’m not sure who Dimpled Chad is, but I gather that he’s a kind of gay G Gordon Liddy. His secret identity as a gay adult film star made him a highly valuable CIA asset (like John Erik Hexum on Cover Up!). It may have been in his capacity as a spy, and not as a gay porn star, that he first got in touch with the Bush clan. Although there are those who say that he first ran into Bush family members at Bohemian Grove, during one of that club’s “no girls allowed” annual naked wing dings. The Bush Family quickly found him handy for dirty work of various kinds, and Dimpled Chad found himself on the way up in the world. However after the Florida Election Caper he found himself in too compromising a position. As daytime talk show hosts clamoured to get a piece of him, he disappeared into obscurity before he had fully emerged from it.

Bush whacked!

No one is quite sure what ever happened to Dimpled Chad. Some say that he had become too dangerous. George had him whisked away to CIA HQ for some Stan Smith American Dad style brainwashing/reprogramming. That didn’t work out and Chad had to be hospitalized long term after cracking up and starting to go “Andrew Cunanin”. Others say that George had him sold to Indonesia organized crime, as a horse collared gay sex slave. Others say that he was reprogrammed with top secret technology and is now a straight Mormon elder with no recollection of his previous life (except for that brief flicker he gets every time some well established Mormon says he’s seen him some where before, “on TV or something right?”). Still others say that Bush just had him whacked!

Deep dimpled cover

Now I’ve heard that the actual story is that Bush didn’t have him whacked – for old times sake. Though it would’ve been safer to whack him Bush retained a soft spot for the sexy young man who helped him rig an election and become both the most powerful & the most dangerous man on planet earth! Besides, sine Chad was instrumental in setting in motion a course of events that lead to the execution of Saddam Hussein, or at least a buck toothed imposture in the place of Hussein, the world owned Chad. So he had him spirited out of the country. No one is sure where Chad went. Some say South America, while others swear he’s on the Mediterranean. The stories do agree that he’s kept in grand style. George set him up with a Villa and a checking account courtesy of the American Taxpayer (and there by finding more worthwhile usages for the funds than saving rain forest frogs!).

A loose lipped old dumpling

Chad has been warned to keep his mouth shut about who he is and what he knows. If he talks too much then he could wind up as an anonymous gay male Marilyn Munroe! Since all he’s material needs are more than adequately met there’s really no reason for him to show his face. As long as he’s smart he can go on living like gay royalty! Yet having started life as a young up and comer Chad can’t help letting the story slip from time to time. That’s allegedly how the rumour has started coming to light. Chad knows he shouldn’t repeat this stuff but he likes the attention! Attention is harder to come by these days too, now that he’s been sequester from the rest of the world, and made so fat and complacent that he’s more Dumpy Chad than dimpled. The loose talk could be embarrassing, but even when it does get back to Big George, he refuses to do anything about it, except cut him another check. So the moral of the story is that if George W can overlook all that, then Barack Obama really shouldn’t feel any need to defend himself on the birth certificate issue, let alone the whole transvestite communist Vulcan Muslim thing! Although if he wants to it would make for some fantastic gossip!

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Shannon "Tweed off" with Gene Simmons


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Jon & Kate didn’t make it. Neither did Hulk Hogan & whatshername – you know, that greedy old bitch who looks like Dog Duayne Chapman’s wife and screwed a 23 year old pool boy – She Hulk. So has reality TV claimed another marriage? Looks like that Family Jewels couple Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed might be hitting a rough patch. Or at least that’s what they’re saying publicly. With their son and daughter pretty much grown and out of the house Shannon has pretty much had enough of Gene’s constant fucking around philandering ways. Though she knew he was a rock star with a 12 inch tongue when she didn’t marry him, she claims that she’s your average wide eyed, naive, ex Playboy bunny, and thought that some how marrying a satanic rock star would be a fairy tale come true. In what Monarch mind controlled brain washed delusion baby?

TV Bunny gets hopping mad on camera

Apparently it was some pictures of Gene out with younger prettier bunnies that has Shannon’s tweed (since she’s from Newfoundland I assume that her tweed is herring bone) rubbed the wrong way. As you could see in the above clip Shannon is pretty worked up and maintained her pique for the reality TV crew that follow the couple everywhere. Shannon also managed to appear on the Kathy Lee & Hoda (Hoda sounds like one of those banned diet aids) with her despised common law significant other – partner I believe is the accepted term for some one you’re doing long term but not formally committed to – to promoted their reality TV show and impending potential bust up. They traded some cute barbs too. So Shannon ain’t exactly sharing a Kleenex box with Huma Abedin over their respective wayward wieners. IN fact the lady seems all business!

full disclosure or plausible deniablity?

So that has folks of the cynical variety – like Internet bloggers between UFO disclosure posts – speculating about the reality of this reality TV. Could Shannon and Gene really be on the outs after 20 odd years – and odd they must have been – of a fairly stable and highly successful partnership?? Could some pictures of Gene-O out and about with a couple of random floozies but not pictured in any incriminating positions really have gotten her goat? Maybe with the kiddies grown and flown she’s ready to pull the usual maneuver of pulling the plug on a relationship that’s outlived it’s usefulness, then cashing in on alimony and community property as a show biz bride’s retirement package! Any of these options might be plausible, if reality TV wasn’t as scripted and staged as pro wrestling!

Sounds like a publicity stunt

The consensus among the skeptics is that this is just some ploy to hype up their already popular and well liked series. For one thing marital domestic fireworks might be a gimmick to get folk to keep watching. For another it take s a couple on pretty firm ground get on TV and pretend to jab at each other. If there were any real friction there then the sparring could well bleed over into unmanageable animosity. Besides, Gene is fresh of playing a concert down in Newfoundland. As stated that’s Shannon’s birth place, and rumors on the rock was that he did the show as a favor to the missus. So I’m calling bullshit on the dog & pony act, unlike Sarah Palin’s hotly denied separation. If those two are still together now then I doubt that either is going anywhere. At least it’s entertaining bullshit. With a couple as likeable as those two, viewers will probably play along with the corny play acting.

Bogus bust ups

P.S. Here’s a hint about how you can tell when a bust up is bogus or for realz. When German adult film actress Xenia Seeberg -best known from Lexx and some widely view porno type flicks, separated from her husband Sven Martinek the shit came to blows. Xenia is a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. So when the pair showed up at the Berlin premier of Inglorious Basterds they not only showed up separately, but Sven showed up wearing sun glasses and an eye patch! Apparently Xenia got riled a beat the snot out of the poor man while in one of her kung fu fits! Now if violence ain’t for real then it certainly gets points for realism!

Dave knows a creepy thing or two

Now here’s part 2 of Hollywood & MK Ultra. Betcha didn’t know that the real reason Joaquin Phoenix went cuckoo was because his brain washing backfired. That’s when they sent him to Dr. Dave. Letterman knows a thing or two about handling slaves, that is if the blackmailer’s stories can be believed!

http://www.youtube.com/get_player
proceed at your own risk!


BTW this won’t need pointing out to the observant among you, but in the above Gene Simmons Shannon Tweed simulated fight video, Gene is shown flashing the Illuminati hand sign at one point. Now that hand sign has been seen everywhere lately and everyone from George W to Betty White to Justin Bieber to Prince William has been seen making it. Just for your information the technical name of that particular occult gesture is the Baphomet Sign.

“Hello Princess – Brown Levi 2003 11A!”

More on the occult: a helpful hint for those of you trying to pick up a little action is that Monarch sex slaves, such as Paris Hilton, can sometimes be triggered using the code phrase “Hello Princess“. This activates their Monarch Mind Control Brain Programming. Once the trigger phrase is used, princess, whomever she may be, will have the bit in her teeth and be ready to go to the races. You may then have your will of your hot to trot hottie.

in my mind and in my car, we can’t rewind we’ve gone too far – entertainment & entrapment!

However unless you know the appropriate follow up trigger phrase there can be some strange side effects; like the lady can suddenly seize up and go ridged on you. That’s a precaution the slave handler programmers put into to make sure no one messes with their action. It can be damned inconvenient too if it happens at the wrong time and in the wrong place! I know a guy who says he once had a hell of a time trying to get a half naked Liv Tyler out of a phone booth, and eventually had to leave her there. He was afraid the cosplay costume she was wearing would start attracting unwanted attention! Of course that could be just shit you hear a the conspiracy conventions!

julia voth as wonder woman

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Bad Grammer



Kelsey Frasier Grammer had been married to Real Housewives Camille Donatacci for 13 and had 2 kids: Jude and Mason. Then their marriage exploded in allegations of cheating and cross dressing. The cheating allegations proved true, we can only guess about the cross dressing.

We know that the cheating stories were true because Kelsey side piece came out fo the wood work claiming to be knocked up by the TV star. The sides piece was a British airline hostess fresh from the friendly skies and named Kayte Walsh. She was 30 and Grammer was 56.

Kayte miscarried, but Frasier claimed that he wanted to marry the woman anyway, causing some to wonder whether he had alcohol related brain damage or something. So some nuptials got planned. Before they could get followed through on a divorce had to be planned – it’s just like a fairy tale! So Frasier and the missus went at it. Housewives fan saw that play pout on Camille’s reality TV show!

Lawyers were hired and blame was assigned. It could’ve dragged on and on and on, but Kelsey was eager for the beaver, so he coughed up 50 mill to get it over and done with quickly, if not painlessly. The ideas was that Camille would take the hefty windfall and go off to do what ever Hollywood ex wives do: live happily ever after in a wold of plastic surgery, colonic therapy, and New Age self exploration. Maybe she’d write a book about reinventing herself.

This is where the hangover starts. Seems that Kelsey’s plans to get everything clued up quick hit a snag when he and Camille started bickering over the kids. According to Camille, who has given her side to the National Enquirer, she was only too happy to share joint custody with Kelsey. But then Grammer got greedy and demanded total sole custody of the kids. That would’ve cut Mom out of the picture. So the pair went to war – funny how unavoidable war is even in our present enlightened age. Must be a human nature thing I guess.

According to Camille Grammar has no right to full custody. After all he’s the one who selfishness ruined his marriage by knocking up a stewardess. That left the children confused and traumatized. He abandoned his parental rights when he abandoned his parental duties, and you can’t have it both ways, even if you’re Dr Frasier Crane!

Frasier did some other bad suff to. Frasier has been introducing the kids to the new Mrs Grammar. That’s awkward but unavoidable. However something he might have avoided doing was introducing her to the kids as “your other mother”. I guess that makes Camille “the starter mom”. Naturally Camille saw red, hit the roof, and then went ballistic, after hearing about Kelsey’s grammar! Now any farm boy fresh off the back of the pick up could’a told him that was a bad idea. Maybe he was being spiteful. You know how adversity brings out the best in people, unless adversity is a divorce, in which case the devil might go running for shelter.

“Just say ‘yes!’ – If we can separate image from self, then we can get rid of awareness, and that will make reality obsolete!”

Kelsey Grammar’s sleazy antics once again raise the question of “Why do the beautiful people engage in self destructive behavior?” That’s a question at least as old as the self help movement. So we can date it as far back as the 60’s. It’s lead to the whole self awareness movement, which evolved into New Age, and eventually Oprah Winfrey! Now self awareness is a long involved process and that takes both time and effort. Why make a long haul commitment when you can fly now and pay later? That’s the $64 000 question that helped self help evolve into what it’s become today – what ever that is.

Now it shouldn’t surprise you to know that the whole self help movement was invented back in the early 60’s by a plastic surgeon named Maxwell Maltz. He’s reputed to have done way more than 60 000 nose jobs before he got wise. He discovered somewhere in the process of bobbing those noses that you could make a woman look like a princess but she’d still feel like a loser.

So Maltz decided that the problem was self image. That’s when he made the switch from plastic surgery to pop psychology! He decided that what you had to do to make people whole healthy and successful was to do some reconstructive surgery on their self image. Then you could crack out winners as if by assembly line. He called it working on the person from the circumference in, instead of from the center out! So you can tell it was invented by a plastic surgeon. In a way you could say that he invented the make over – which is what self help has become (though that’s not a 64 000 question, or at least I ain’t gonna get anything for that answer!).

hear now!

Here now is an audio of the book that made Maltz an obscure household name. So set your servo mechanism towards personal growth and tune into Psycho-cybernetics! Your self image will thank you for it! Actually it won’t. That shallow selfish nob will move on and lose your phone number!

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Brat Pack

gotten rotten

If you read the last Wondertrash post you might have gotten the feeling that I’m just not trying anymore. Maybe the word ‘apathetic’ in the title was a give away. Trying leads to so much mischief in life – if our celebrities are any indication – that sometimes not trying is worth a try. The less effort the less trouble gets made. However if everyone thought like that then the history books would be empty, and school boys would have nothing to trouble them. We can’t all be buddhas, right away anyway. So in the spirit of wholesome mischief, here’s some fresh shit.

Justin TV

It seems that no one is bigger these days then Justin Bieber; not since Charlie Sheen went back on his meds and recovered from that case of Sheenius. It seems that when ever this kid breaks wind it becomes an over publicized non event of the kind that might get 24 hour on going “developing story” type coverage on CNN. So if you so sick of this kid that you want to punch out random mop topped teen on the street, then skip over this part. It’s gonna send you over.

breaking Bieber

The latest out break of Bieber fever has the Beeb on CSI. He was already killed off on Law & Order, but like Jesus the death didn’t take and so he back to haunt us. As said his latest appearance was on CSI, though it might have been easier to take if he’d appeared in a grilled cheese sandwich or bowling alley lane – Jesus style. Anyway Justy keeps his cheesy mainstream so he got on CSI where he met Marge Helgenberger.

Justy & Busty

Now this musty been a big deal in the life of a growing boy. Margy, you’ll recall, is the gal who acts in CSI and whose boobs are prominently feature, often hoist up into a firing position. So Justy must’ve been keen to make a real good impression on her. Maybe that’s why Margy says that he seemed like a real nice guy when she met him. Her exact words, as quoted by Radaronline, were “He was nice to me.” See, I said he was nice!

Everyone can’t have big boobs, so Justy can’t be nice to everyone

Thing was that it didn’t stop there. Seems that Justy wasn’t quite so nice with his other, non mammary endowed castmates. In fact Boobs, I mean Margy, goes on to say that, and once again I quote by way of Radaronline, that “I shouldn’t be saying this but he was kind of a brat.” Actually that part got said on a French radio interview, but Radaronline got wind of it and repeated it! Busty goes on to say that “He was nice to me but he locked one of the producers in a closet and he put his fist through a cake that was one the cast’s table!

the moral of the story

So what can we draw from this? Well for one thing Justy is a real swell guy, if you happen to be a hot chick with great big boobs that stick up at a 45 degree angle. Other wise watch you’re step, cause he can be a rotten little jerk. Also we’ve learned that you have to watch what you say, cause what you say can get around. Even if it’s said over seas and in a foreign language. If it’s about Bieber then the world is gonna know about it and more sooner than later. That probably has something to do with the Internet! Finally we’ve learned that the mass media hasn’t gotten tired of talking about Bieber yet, not matter how sick of him everyone else is. That probably has something to do with his appeal to teenage girls and middle aged “Herbert the Pervert” types. So we’re probably gonna keep hearing too much about him in the future, even if you dearly wish that he and Miley Ray Cyrus would run away together and never be seen or heard from again.

Now something in the spirit of big boobs sticking up on a 45 degree angle!


dirty ditties – every doggerel has it’s day

Some people wonder what’s gotten into celebrities today. I think that it’s the age we live in. The whole sad sorry mess can probably summed up in the following little ditty!

So you real can’t blame the Biebs for being as rotten little jerk when thing are rotten, like the song says! Even a Robin Hood might fall victim to his own vanity.

So when other legends are forgotten, just remember back when things were rotten. It’s a Wondertrash thing!

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Shit Happens – How John Edwards lost his chance & got into tabloid hell

https://i2.wp.com/static.thehollywoodgossip.com/images/gallery/john-edwards-rielle-hunter-love-child-photo.jpg


Rielle Hunter
was a troublesome tiresome bitch even back when she was called Lisa Druck. That description might be a bit harsh. Maybe she was an accident waiting for a place to happen. That’s if you want to believe one of her oldest friends. The friend is Pigeon O Brien, and Pigeon is the one now taking credit for ratting Rielle and her presidential candidate boyfriend John Edwards out to the National Enquirer. So Pij has some explaining to do. Explain she has in a recent HuffPo piece, the gist of which is below.

Pij knew Rielle back when she was Lisa. That was in the 80’s at a place called Nell’s bar. According to Pij, Lisa was either always swaggering around hollering her head off, or frightening guys out of the bar and into taxis that sped away rapidly. No one really liked the obnoxious little twat, but she was interesting. There were lots of stories about promiscuity, other women’s husbands, and strip poker. Besides many were a little too afraid of her to stand up.

Pij & Druck moved on and lost touch, the way friends will. Then one day O Brien meets her old friend again. It was 2004 @ a swanky NYC dinner party. Rielle shows up, but totally reinvented. She’s got a head full of new ideas too, like Buddhism, MTV, motivational speakers as the new rock stars, and of course striking it rich! Pij was at loose ends (that’s what you call it when some one is into web design & PR on a freelance basis), and Hunter had a lot of ideas to keep her old friend occupied. So they got together to do a website aimed at getting Hunter into the motivational speaking racket by way of MTV. Now this wasn’t just a big idea but was backed up with a lot of hot air, as the pair spent hours a day jabbering with each other on the phone.

Since swinging their jaw bones was as close as they got to productive work, the website never really took off. O Brien and Hunter’s relationship got a little strained. They’d occasionally lose radio contact. Then one day and out of the blue as it were, Hunter calls up and says that she’s in love. She describes a guy from North Carolina. While Pij is busy thinking Jethro Beaudine (Those Yankees and their ethnic-regional stereotyping! It’s the white middle class educated liberal’s version of racism.), Hunter goes on to describe a golden god with rock star charisma. O Brien didn’t put 2 + 2 together right away. Maybe she was expecting Robert Plant. When O Brien heard the words”John” and “North Carolina” on TV and looks up to see John Edwards on the screen with Hunter hovering near by, the jig is up.

“SHIT,” I thought to myself, “we’re in trouble now.”

Now this is where the story gets interesting. Pij & Hunter had a sort of up and down relationship; as you might expect with at least one drama queen, and when bills for services rendered aren’t getting promptly paid. Hunter had stopped teaching yoga to devote herself full time to the Golden Meal Ticket. Meanwhile she’s constantly babbling on and on about love. Meanwhile Edwards was positioning himself for a run at the White House. Since his wife Elizabeth was a big part of his public image package, things were about to get really interesting.

standing out in a crowd and still spell check fixable!

It was about the same time as Hunter began producing a set of cheesy promo videos for Edwards that people began calling O Brien to inquire as to the nature of her friend’s relationship with Edwards. O Brien says that the media tracked her down through her listing on Hunter’s website. The fact that her name is Pigeon makes her stand out from the Jennys and Janes (now you know why celebs love to have outrageous names). Pigeon says that at first she was very tight lipped about the whole cheating on his dying wife with the crazy bitch from my old bar story. The reporters just wouldn’t leave her alone though. Eventually the constant nagging got to her. She started asking herself whether this kind of behavior is acceptable in a public figure. She states in her article that it’s no one’s business who you sleep with, but issues of trust and betrayal are very important. I guess that’s supposed to make what she did next come off as noble.

a raw nerve in a barrel of monkeys

According to O Brien some where along the line she got the idea that the public needed to know. Getting herself out of hot water wouldn’t be so bad either. So she started phoning the numbers of some of those publications she said were eager to talk about Hunter (I think she mentioned about 2 before she got to the National Enquirer, though to hear her tell it the phone was off the hook and she was cracking from pressure. So the assumption is that she got a few calls from a couple of places that noticed who did the video and then checked out the website. Since Edwards was in the primaries they may have thought that it was worthwhile to call and ask a few general questions. They may not have had anything specific in mind, which is born out by the fact that when she got back in touch they didn’t know what she was talking about when she mentioned “the affair“. It’s either that or she didn’t get all of her facts straight for her big HuffPo article. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt ans assume she was a bit histrionic and overreacted.). Her first few ventures didn’t come off – people who wanted to know didn’t believe anything was going on. Finally she got around to The Pulitzer Prize Nominated National Enquirer. That’s when she hit pay dirt!

The Candidate & the TV Psychic!

According to Pigeon the NE wasn’t exactly sure who Edwards was at first. So she had to bring them up to speed, so they’d understand how the affair fit in. Once they got the general idea they didn’t need much encouragement. A presidential candidate cheating on his dying wife with a TV psychic sounds like something just made for them. Only the additions of Bigfoot and a UFO could’ve made the tale complete! So they started sniffing around for whatever smelled like shit.

faux vox popoli

That’s the point at which the cat crawled out of the bag. Edwards got Hunter under wraps – hiding her out in a series of rented mansions according to Pigeon. Meanwhile HuffPo, sensing that the shit was about to hit the fan something might be up, printed an article questioning why the Hunter produced promo vids had all of a sudden disappeared. That got them a lot of hate mail from outraged people pretending not to be associated with the Edwards campaign. It also nearly got the article’s writer Sam Stein fired. However things had gone too far by that time. Within a week or two the NE published it’s Edwards Cheating story.

This is the point at which anyone with any sense would’ve dropped out. Edwards plowed on. Pressure was put on the media to shut the fuck up ignore the stories. After all it was only unsubstantiated rumor based on the kind of circumstantial evidence that failed to convict OJ Simpson. John himself began throwing around cruel and hurtful phrases like “tabloid trash & lies” (celebrity types can be so unkind when they’re on the defensive). His long suffering wife made off the record comments about the Enquirer as the UFO paper. Meanwhile Edwards’ functionaries memo-ed the LA Times begging them to take the journalistic high road and not to go down market with the gossip shit rags. The shaming and bull shitting might have worked too, except Johnny Boy got caught spending a night with Hunter in a hotel. If you play around with fire long enough you’re bound to get burned!

John Edwards – a frickin totally bitchin rock star from Mars!

Lying-John-EdwardsSo now the cheating story went into overdrive. Hunter’s pregnancy got out too. Edwards tired to deny that at first. He claimed that he’d only been in that hotel late at night with an emotionally unstable woman because he desperately wanted to help her with her troubles. Besides the woman was clearly some sort of slut on the make so her kid could belong to anyone – Mel Gibson, 007, you name it. That kind of desperation is the sign that the chips are down.

John Edwards is like the last rat on a sinking ship

When the chips are down is when you find out who your friends really are. Some of Edwards friends, like Andrew and Cheri Young, decided to make their own deals. Young wrote a tell all about the man he backed to the hilt for years, called the Politician. Since he’d done a lot of work keeping the Hunter story under wraps, his damage control experience must’ve made him credible. Of course Pigeon went to the National Enquirer to get the dung ball rolling. Who knows what possessed her, beyond her self professed Jimmy Stewart style commitment to American Democracy (note to readers, never watch Mr Smith Goes to Washington while you’re on acid, ’cause it will mind fuck your brains down into your socks! “My God – I’ve got to go out and get into trouble by doing the right thing so that the cavalry can rescue me!“). Readers will get the impression that flighty and self involved Hunter could be a tough act to take, and if you had to deal with her long enough you want to see her get what was coming to her too. Of course if Edwards had any real friends, or even trustworthy handlers, they’d have recognized what Hunter was before she ever got through the door, and run interference.

the upshot on this shit -“let’s be careful out there

So I guess the upshot is that we live in a global village or something now. That’s like living in a semi detached housing complex – think Melrose Place. So it’s an environment where news is increasingly gossip; and that kind of bad news can do you in (as John Galliano has found out the hard way – suppose France wants Jack’s Legion of Honor back?). So don’t piss anyone off, or you’ll get their goat – and they might even get yours, as Rosesanne Barr’s Hawaiian neighbors recently and allegedly pointed out. Now go out there and behave yourselves!

Angry Samson

by Robert Graves
(1895-1985)


Are they blind, the lords of Gaza
In their strong towers,
Who declare Samson pillow-smothered
And stripped of his powers?

O stolid Philistines,
Stare now in amaze
At my foxes running in your cornfields
With their tails ablaze,

At swung jaw-bone, at bees swarming
In the stark lion’s hide,
At these, the gates of well-walled Gaza
A-clank to my stride.

wondertrash

That’s So Wrong.

Wondertrash & Wonderflash

KnockknockknockPennyknockknockknockPennyknockknockknockPenny......If you’re and up and coming professional celebrity attention is money in the bank, and if you don’t get it you’re out of business. So the $64 000 is “what’s the easiest way to get a lot of attention fast?” There is an old saying in the business that “Sex sells“. That means that if you’re young, attractive, and of the female persuasion (Don’t ask “who persuaded you?” because if you are female it won’t be the last time you’ll get talked into something!) there’s one sure fire way to get everyone talking about you fast – flash your goodies, or come as close as you can get away with to that! With that in mind, and who doesn’t have sex on the brain at least a little bit? – it shouldn’t be any surprise that some up and coming eager beavers are giving people something to talk about. Our first case is a young lady whom we’re gonna be hearing more about as her wedding to a certain high profile TV & radio personality approaches!

Hassling the Hough

Julianne Hough (the chick who looks like Dexter’s wife – Julie Benz from the show, not his on the show sister Jennifer Carpenter who’s his real life soon to be ex) is a popular young country & western singer. She’s also engaged to Simon Cowell’s side kick Ryan Seacrest (Ryan is the Gracie Allen to Cowell’s George Burns if you will). Now the couple have a big 3 million dollar wedding planned for Paris. However life ain’t all wine and roses and April in Paris for the Hough. She’s currently embroiled in a country music controversy that’s got her on the wrong side of the Nashville establishment, and the CMT network. It all has to do with her video That’s So Wrong.

Now the video in question features Hough caterwauling about love, or something like it, while she takes of clothes and squirms around like she’s got a bad case of bed bugs. So it’s a soft core strip tease (& more tease than strip) act of the kind music video viewers are familiar with. It’s nothing that isn’t seen regularly on TV and in family viewing hours. However CMT ain’t happy about it. CMT has banned the video from their network allegedly on the basis that it’s too hot to handle. CMT likes to keep country traditional. Traditional means gals with big hair and bigger boobs wearing more grease paint than a circus clown and singing about cheating or getting cheated on. So Hough’s skanky antics have no place on their airwaves! What’s more Youtube and Truveo have followed suit and banned the video from their sites (BTW for all you aspiring Mark Zuckerberg’s out there, the domain name Youtune is currently up for grabs!)!

Hough doesn’t know what the brouhaha os about. For one thing she insists that she’s a religious gal. She’s probably as religious as any other country western chick who ever went out into a bar and got drunk while lookin’ for temporary love, so I’ll leave that alone. Anyway Hough says that she comes from a small town (Sandy, Utah) where takin’ off your clothes for money is shameful. I guess that means she just gets sexy for attention. Attention she’s getting too, though it should be said that CMT claims Hough’s Miley Cyrus routine had nothing to do with banning the video. It was a contractual thing. Contractual thing in business is the equivalent of a celeb saying that they’re suffering from exhaustion when they check into hospital from a booze overdose – a flimsy excuse.

Hough has been trying to shed the good girl image, along with her clothes, recently. She did something wear she appeared covered in gold paint. It was a mermaid shoot with Kristen Bell and Mena Suvari. She’s also booked up to play Ariel, not a mermaid, in the new Footloose flick. Hough says that the Ariel character will be pretty wild – in a modest small town religious way I guess.

bottoms up to the bottom line

The upshot is that the sex act is paying off. So Hough can’t be blamed too much for responding to encouragement. Country isn’t cool if no one watches, right? Fans are right behind her too. She’s getting tons of support on Internet message boards, where Hough Helpers point out that she wore less clothes on her Dancing With The Stars appearances. Now that’s DWTS business and DWTS has flexible standards. For instance that’s where Erin Peephole Andrews went to save face after her privacy was violated by some random pervert. You may recall that Andrews was video taped prancing around her hotel room naked. Andrews was so humiliated that she had to book on DWTS to get her esteem back, by wearing slinky clothes, flirting with her partner, and flashing herself around. Andrews wasn’t being hypocritical but making a valid point, that her privacy is her’s to violate! It’s the working principle that pro attention whores live by!

So this whole pseudo scandal is still up in the air: with CMT saying that they don’t object to the video though the won’t show Hough, and Hough saying that though she’s outwardly defiant she’s inwardly hurt and humiliated. There’s no sign of a resolution either. That’s okay though since Hough doesn’t have to rely on CMT for her bread a butter. As said she’s gettin’ hitched up to Ryan Seacrest (take that everyone who thought he was gay!). Anyone who can afford to drop 3 mill on a Paris wedding in this economy can afford to keep Hough in snake skin cowboy boots and bedazzled Stetsons. besides, I hear that Seacrest has a few connections in the music biz! So y’all can look forward to seeing a lot more Hough!

Girl Power!

Speaking of music industry attention whores Katie Perry is no stranger to sex and attention. She outs out a pretty strong sex vibe in her act. That’s got her a lot of fans and Booky Wooky author Russell Brand as her hubby. Russy’s the guy who got kicked off of BBC Radio for having sex with Andrews Sachs (Manuel from Fawlty Towers) grand daughter. In Russy’s defense Sach’s grand daughter is some kind of a burlesque artist – or a palm reader. Judging by her out fits it might be either.

Anyway marriage made Russel a changed man – he apologized to Manuel and started slapping around paparazzi like Sean Penn back in his Madonna days (Russ got out raged when a paparazzi tried to get a closer look at something Katey’s shown everyone via TV, the Internet, and the Brit tabs. While Russ insisted that he was in his rights, most were left asking “what was the point?

Sex has gotten Katie so much fan enthusiasm that when she recently mentioned that she wanted to play Wonder Woman about have the Internet said “Right on!” That’s about half as many as when Megan Fox said that she didn’t want to play Wonder Woman. Katie seems to be reinforcing that point in her public appearances too. For instance here’s a recent pic of Perry prancing around the stage in a little red one piece outfit that’s gonna look real familiar to comic book fetishists out there. Now here’s Ms Perry:


… and here’s where some of you might have seen that nifty little number before:



That’s right – Katie’s channel Diana Prince Jr, aka Wondergirl, also known as Wonder Woman Lite, Wonder Reduced, and the Economy Version. Even the sequins match the stars on Donna Troy’s red catsuit. If the microphone had a line attached then it could’ve doubled for a magic lasso! As for myself, though I was doubtful about Perry as Wonder Woman, she might be a better Wondergirl. Besides, that was the role that gave Debra Winger her start!


Socially acceptable bondage – in one form or another!

So there you have it: a couple of cases of young celebs who’ve found a short cut to top. Talent and performance aside they’ve made sex a bog part of the package. It’s paying off too. So we can expect a lot more wonderflash from the wondertrash coming soon. Just be careful if you decide to try this at home. There’s bound to be strings attached to these short cuts, and they won’t be the magic lasso of truth, either! Those ties that bind can get awfully tight if those high profile celebrity fuck ups are any indication. It seems to happen more sooner than later too!

wondertrash

Hollywood Refugees

Is it possible for some one to take over control of every aspect of your life? If you’re married, or if you’re Randy Quaid, then the answer is “yes“. How does this secret band of Hollywood Star Whackers take control of an unsuspecting celebrity? Well according to Randy Quaid they tag you cell phone, put bogus stories about you into the media, and of course set up power of attorney documents giving them access to your royalty stream in perpetuity! After that they’ve got you right where they want you. They only thing left for them is to get you out of the way.

That’s what Randy Quaid was afraid would happen to him and his wife Evi when their strange adventure began. It started with some legal beefs over unpaid bills. Quaid claims that he and his wife were totally set up. That’s the way these ‘total businessmen‘ operate. Then things got gradually worse, until the Quaids had become something of a joke in the entertainment community. With their reputation ruined and the law closing in with a vengeance, that left the Quaids looking for sanctuary. They attempted to find that in Vancouver, Canada, until the long arm of the law closed in on them there too. Once they were picked up outside a bank it looked like deportation, and a messy trial/media spectacle would follow.

The Quaids have so far short circuited that. They applied to the Canadian government for protection, claiming that they were refugees from Hollywood who only wanted to be left alone by the criminals in the United States. If they were sent back then their lives would be in immediate jeopardy from the band of above the law star whackers who’ve offed the likes of Heath Ledger and others.

Now when that first came out people thought that it must be a lame ploy to avoid deportation. Canada won’t sent people back if they’re in immanent danger of being killed. However if it’s a ploy then the Quaids are taking it to the next level. Randy & Evi gave an interview on Good Morning America today in which they elaborated on their strange conspiracy theories. Not only did they give some details on what they believe is happening to them, but also named some names about who else might be at risk. According to Bonny & Clyde, Lindsay Lohan needs to watch her step – but not in the way that Dr. Drew means (If there are star whackers out there then Dr. Drew has got to be in on it. He already demonstrated criminal tendencies with his “frame her up better than the Mona Lisa” comments about Lohan.). Britney Spears is on thin ice too. Their master stroke was left for Mel Gibson.

According to the couple Gibson has been targeted by the Star Whackers. What’s more Oksana Grigorieva was ‘sent in‘ to ‘destroy him‘. Now that’s consistent with their thinking. Gibson has been very successful, so his royalty stream has gotta flow like Niagra Falls, even after all those unpleasant telephone recordings about rose gardens and blow jobs. All some shrewd star whacker would have to do is get him declared mental, take over power of attorney, and make sure that he’s discredited in the media so that he will neither be believed or defended! That would explain everything except the tapes themselves. Evi has an answer for that one thought – “He was drugged! Some one slipped him a mickey!” she claimed on GMA. Most people who know about Mel assume that he was drunk and that no one else slipped him anything that he wasn’t voluntarily sipping. Still if some one wanted to slip him a mickey, it probably wouldn’t be too hard – “Hey Gibson – wanna drink?

But enough commentary. Here are the Quaids in their own words from that Good Morning America interview! They explain everything including how close Dennis Quaid is to becoming another Hollywood casualty. He’s already been pigeon holed into making crap films, according to Evi. Dennis has also been mysteriously alienated from his brother and sister in law. The “crap movies” comment may have had something to do with that. You know how sensitive performers can be. However Evi reassures viewers that Dennis is talented, so no slight was meant. Here now is the interview, so put on your tin fiol hats and be prepared to be amazed.

http://abcnews.go.com/assets/player/walt2.6/flash/SFP_Walt_2_65.swf

A compelling argument. Lucidly communicated too. They’ve answered everything. In fact the only stone left unturned would be a possible Diana Napolis aka Curio Jones connection. I’ve always wondered why that particular story got buried by the media. I guess no one messes with Jennifer Love Hewitt! Now before you poo poo these ideas remember that stranger things have happened, unless Marylin Munroe really did od on sleeping pils. Besides,Hollywood Star Whackers anagrams to Swarthy, hallowed crooks That’s gotta be more than coincidence!

It’s easy to make fun of the Quaids. For one thing they’re obviously crazy. However let’s move out of our comfort zones for a moment, and assume for the sake of argument that they’re sane. For one thing they’re not saying anything that hasn’t been said before. When the late lamented Michael Jackson passed on from Neverland to the final neverland, his own sister Janet claimed that he’d been helped along by people around him that had decided he was worth more dead. At the time we assumed that it was grief talking and so everyone cut her slack. Yet it has just been announced that Michael Jackson was Forbes Top Dead Earner last year. He made $270 million, and that’s more than Oprah! Now Jackson’s family say that they haven’t seen one thin dime of this. The business managers pay the bills but won’t issue them any checks. So where’s the money going?

Also, in some twitter posts some time back Courtney Love claimed that she was being ripped off by a group of business managers who had set up bogus social insurance numbers for her late husband Kurt Cobain. They then proceeded to take out mortgages on these SIN’s. Love claimed that these financial shenanigans had left her almost broke.

Now when Courtney starts talking strange people assume that she’s on something and they stop paying attention. Yet a pattern is developing. So many Hollywood stars passed on back in 2009 that people began referring to it as the year of death. It seemed that there were more deaths than might be expected from coincidence alone. So who’s to say whether or not there might be something to the talk of conspiracies and star whackers.

BTW happy birthday to the world’s most beautiful woman Aishwarya Rai.

Incidentally, one of Ms. Rai’s biggest pet peeves is people who pronounce her lat name as Buchanan! You can call her the most beautiful woman in the world though, well right after this chick!

wondertrash

Rick Sanchez Fired From CNN – The Damned Jews Got Another One!

disclaimer:
the following is written in conspiracy theory form, as a satire of ideas that are becoming more apparent in our society

News, views, and Jews!

http://videos.mediaite.com/embed/player/?layout=&playlist_cid=&media_type=video&content=27825Q2T9MT1CHWX&widget_type_cid=svp

Rick Sanchez used to be an on air personality with CNN. Nowadays he’s hotter under the collar than George Dubya in a burqa. So what’s got Rickie’s hijab in a twist? Well Jon Stewart doesn’t like him and only gets away with it because the media is controlled by Jews! That puts guys like him at a disadvantage. Guys like Sanchez, are in his words guys whose parents worked hard, who were never quite white enough (“white enough” is WASP as defined by the ruling secret Jewish kabal!), and who never had anything handed to him.

Didn’t Carroll O Connor used to sing this song at the beginning of All In The Family?

Guys like Stewart, on the other hand, are guys from the college educated middle class. Their father’s have degrees, while their mothers have part time jobs of choice that allow them to maintain their dignity and afford pretentious off season vacation packages. Their parents send them to prep schools where they wore penny loafers with dimes in them just to be assholish, and learn to stick their nose in the air by thinking that everyone else is stupid.

a couple of teabags shy of a pot, or just thought no one was listening to Sirius

So naturally there’s an ‘animosity’. That animosity spilled out last night during an astonishing Mel Gibson type radio rant out featuring Sanchez on Pete Dominick’s Sirius XM show. Rick was pissed off about getting replaced as CNN anchor in favour of an Elliot “Quagmire” Spitzer Show (The Jews again! When will they leave this man in peace?), and to promote his perhaps ironically titled new book “Conventional Idiocy“. Sanchez was mighty steamed about getting the ax, so he had a full head of steam to work off.

Guys like the snob on MASH, not the drunks on Cheers!

Now he had the explanation for CNN. The guys there just don’t get it. They don’t get it because they don’t get where he’s coming from. Where he’s coming from – in more or less his own words – is an ‘off white’ background of hard knocks where dads did real jobs for chicken feed and their sons didn’t get into Ivy League colleges with a letter from the bishop or local state senator. So when they see him they just see some ‘latino’.

“It’s not just the right that does this. ‘Cause I’ve known a lot of elite, Northeast establishment liberals that may not use this as a business model, but deep down, when they look at a guy like me, they look at a … they see a guy automatically who belongs in the second tier and not the top tier … White folks usually don’t see it, but we do, those of us who are minorities … Here, I’ll give you my example, it’s this, ‘You know what, I don’t want you anchoring anymore. I really don’t see you as an anchor, I see you more as a reporter. I see you more as a Jon Quinones.’ You know, the guy on ABC. That’s what he told me, he told me he saw me as Jon Quinones. Now, did he not realize that he was telling me, ‘when I see you I think of Hispanic reporters?’ ‘Cause in his mind, I can’t be an anchor, an anchor’s what you give the high profile white guys.”

Rickie has some ‘splainin’ to do

Now what Rickie actually says is that when he sees when he looks at Jon Quinones is a Hispanic reporter. Though “Jon Quinones” are fighting words, let’s not get sidetracked on side issues when there are bigger fish to fry. Fish like that little know it all Jon Stewart. Stewart is similar to those North Eastern Bean Towner types except more so. More so means raised in New Jersey with over educated parents and a temperature controlled silver spoon up his ass (that probably came with batteries & a remote control – you know what ‘those people’ are like with science & gadgets). That’s why the little snot boy just has no respect for anyone who isn’t a member of his little junior chamber of commerce clique of privileged, uptight, smugness. However let’s let Sanchez say it for himself:

“It happens all the time. I think to a certain extent, Jon Stewart and Colbert are the same way. I think Jon Stewart’s a bigot … Yeah, I think he’s a bigot … I think he looks at the world through his mom who was a schoolteacher and his dad who was a physicist, or something like that.

“Great, I’m so happy that he grew up in a suburban, middle class New Jersey home with everything that you could ever imagine.”

Jon Stewart thinks he’s a big man – a regular Jerry Lewis!

Now bigot is a strong word. When Dominick asked Sanchez to be more specific – that’s supposed to be his job as a serious journalist, Sanchez comes up short. It was as if he were just throwing the word around for effect. Just to prove he’s serious though, he reiterates:

“I think Jon’s show is essentially prejudicial … against anybody who doesn’t agree to his point of view, which is very much a white, Liberal establishment point of view. He can’t relate to a guy like me, he can’t relate to a guy whose dad worked all his life. He can’t relate to somebody who grew up poor,” Sanchez said.

Dominick, who was previously the “Daily Show’s” warm-up comic, continued to press Sanchez for specific examples of bigoted conduct by Stewart.

Sanchez ended up attempting to back off the comments slightly. “I’ll take the word ‘bigot’ back. I’ll say prejudicial — uninformed,” he said.

Rick Sanchez’s minority report

Now Sanchez may not have all his facts straight – which as a serious journalist makes him a prime target for satirists like Stewart – but he does have a point. Jewart does seem to pick on Sanchez for some reason. Maybe it’s because he’s intimated by Sanchez’s macho. Maybe it’s because he resents Stewart’s – supposedly – up tight upper middle class Jewish American upbringing. It’s the kind of angst non Jews feel every time they see Biloxi Blues: “If only I’d grown up a whiny little momma’s boy then I could be funny too!“. Then again Stewart picks on almost everyone. So how does he keep getting away with it since he’s not that funny?

The appeal of the Daily Show is lost on me. It seems awkwardly satirical with some downplayed PC ass kissing thrown in. It’s hardly good enough to justify the fuss. In fact it’s barely better than Bill Maher (though much less obnoxious!). Once the genuinely funny and genuinely clever Stephen Colbert came along with some genuine satire, Stewart should have been obsolete. Rick Sanchez has an answer for that one too.

those kind? “Nose” kind!

You see There are a lot of guys like Jon Stewart at CNN. There are a lot of guys like that at other networks to. Whether by consensus of mutual interest or deliberate, nefarious design – these no gooders control the media! When I say a lot of guys I don’t mean Freemasons, though they control freemasonry (and Hollywood, Las Vegas, & the Vatican! That’s part of their insidious plan to control the world by controlling America, and to control America by controlling the entertainment, the gambling and the religion. Although America doesn’t identify it’s self as a Catholic country, a disturbing number of American’s are, and even one President was, Catholic! You dirty mics no who you are! The fact that they managed to get a Catholic elected president, but managed to keep their boys behind the scenes by not getting a Jew elected president should tell you everything about how these types operate! As of this time Disneyland is still in pretty good shape, but it’s getting Jewed up with a vengeance!). They don’t have secret handshakes – though then again they might for all we really know. These guys are Jews, and they like to look out for each other. Kind of like a mafia! Here’s exactly what Sanchez had to say on that:

“Yeah, very powerless people. [laughs] He’s such a minority. I mean, you know, please. What are you kidding? I’m telling you that everybody who runs CNN is a lot like Stewart and a lot of people who run all the other networks are a lot like Stewart. And to imply that somehow they, the people in this country who are Jewish, are an oppressed minority?”

That was both concise and lucid! He summed it up admirably! Now the powers that be, and I shouldn’t have to tell you who that is *winkstein* *winkstein* are trying to shut him up! As of posting time CNN had made an announcement that Sanchez was no longer working with their channel. I guess he must’ve violated some of their little Nazi thought crime rules or something.

Dirty Sanchez, or was Mel Gibson right?

Anyway they made this announcement way in advance of any announcement by Sanchez about his future. They didn’t want to give the man a chance to step out with dignity! Not that those kind understand dignity. You’d think that they pushed Sanchez because they were afraid that Rickie wouldn’t do the honourable thing and jump! So if there’s been no official statement from Sanchez on this, it’s because one is no longer necessary now that the deck has been stacked! So when attempts to reach Sanchez for an official comment on why he went Mel Gibson on the radio repeatedly went unanswered, it’s not because he’s gutless or anything. Let’s just say that the Jews got another one! Besides I’m sure that Rick is taking some needed time off to catch up on reading the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Did you know that reading that thing is like reading today’s news! It’s like it was written by Nostrodamus or something!

BTW since my eyes first started opening to the shadow world behind this one I’ve learned some amazing things. Here’s the most important things you have to know about the World Zionist Conspiracy!

1. Einstein stole the Theory of Relativity while still working as a patent clerk. The thesis was included as part of some guy’s perpetual motion invention!

2. “High profile white guys” mean Jews. The ‘white elite‘ are the front people, like Rockefeller was for the Rothschilds when he created the Federal Reserve by sinking the Titanic!

3. Jews have suppressed evidence of an alien crash at Area 51 to maintain faith in an Old Testament god, which is their lock on Western Culture. Of course they also try to undermine tradional values, but that just the Hegelian Dialectic in operation!

4. Jews have been spreading the rumour that Jesus Christ was Jewish for centuries!

5. The Jewish didn’t build Stonehenge, but repeatedly tried cheating Stone Age Briton’s out of it!

6. Every time you pay your cell phone bill portions of the money go to sponsor Israel!

7. The Jews not only started Hurricane Katrina, but then tried to blame it on black people!

8. Bill Clinton is secretly Jewish!

9. Jews killed Princess Diana because they feared the influence that Dodi Al Fayd might gain!

10. Some of your best friends might be Jewish. Even worse, you might not know it! They routine anglicize their names, Like Bernie Schwartz to Tony Curtis. This way they can inveigle themselves into society and work it’s ruin. It’s like a kind of Fifth Column right here in our midst. So be on guard, lest they come for you too! My advice – never trust a guy who’s been circumcised, or a woman who’s had a nose job!

Now a little more of Mr Sanchez and some borderline comments about the pres. Wait for it cause it’s about 1 minute into the video.

Well I guess Sanchez’s goose is cooked, and rightly so. His career looks like it’s going the same way as Mel Gibson’s, Michael Richard’s, Don Imus’, etc. Who knew that world was still such a racist place? Still, if Sarah Palin has shown us anything it’s that just because some one has no business having a career doesn’t mean that the public has heard the last of them.

Maybe Sanchez will get onto reality TV via race rehab. Now that’s not a bad idea since at the rate celebs are fucking up in public the powers that be – Jewish or otherwise – are gonna have to do something or their won’t be a celeb left that isn’t racist, drug addicted, a sex offender, or otherwise retarded (I can still say that because the retarded aren’t a race, right? Or are they?). Who knows, maybe inflammatory FOX News can do something for him. They’ve aired more extreme, equally insane views on their network. Glenn Beck, with his chalk board and greasy finger of Vick’s, is already running his news show on an X Files basis! FOX is America’s No 1 source for news related information, just like The Daily Show is America’s No 1 source for news related commentary.

wondertrash

Brandon Davis Is Not Dead

Lard Lad & Tubby Lady Killer Still Among the Living


Brandon Davis
is not dead. The story got started through a report on Fox news about an anonymous 26 year old who got killed in a gas station explosion. Blogs like Perezhilton were quick to go with this starting a Google trends overload on Brandon Davis dead searches. However the anonymous gas station victim was not Davis, but some poor unfortunate. AS far as anyone knows, the man known as Greasybear, and who christened Lindsay Lohan Firecrotch, is still very much alive.

who’s who

A little background for those unfamiliar with Davis – he’s the heir to a billion dollar oil fortune who isn’t bad looking when his glandular problems aren’t acting up. He’s also dated every young hottie in Hollywood from Mischa Barton to Lindsay Lohan – including Paris Hilton. He also got into some kind of bust up with Pink outside a LA nightclub over parking space. That got tweeted upon and Pink picked up some easy kudos for kicking Brandon in the buts or something. So if we’ve learned nothing else from Mr Davis it’s that you can make yourself more popular by picking on some one that no one likes! Getting killed in a gas station explosion might have seemed like the ideal end to his colorful career as a celebrity, however that sort of thing only happens in pulp fiction.

don’t go off half cocked

This is the latest in a long line of Dead on the Internet hoaxes that have taken in some very big names in media/blogging circles. If you’re too quick on the draw and not thorough enough in your fact checking you can get taken – no matter who you are. However there have been enough of these Internet pranks by now that any one would be cautious when they see the world dead beside the name of some fairly famous person. Remember that credibility doesn’t mean you’re right. Don’t believe it until it’s wondertrash!

Now here’s that FOX report that lead to the Brandon Davis Dead rumours that took in the likes of Perezhilton (now no longer the Internet’s top gossip blog), TMZ, & Radaronline!

http://www.viddler.com/player/1e76f28b/

That’s the trouble with FOX, even when they have their facts straight people still form the wrong conclusions. Now is that FOX’s fault??

My Chemical Romance – bleary eyed melodrama continues

BTW for those still keeping track Lindsay Lohan is out on bail. She was taken directly to jail, in handcuffs on Friday. This was for some sort of violation involving alcohol, cocaine, & Twitter. Twitter seems more like an error in judgement – however you can easily see how it could be classed as a violation when taken too far, as it usually is and especially when in the hands of celebrities. Now the official word was that Lohan wasn’t gonna be getting out this time because this wasn’t a sentencing, but a hold over for a parole violation. She’d have to punch in her 30 days until a new court date could be set.

red eyed theater

However Lohan’s lawyer did some nifty and nimble legal work and filed a write of Habius Corpus. Now that means Lohan’s right to due process had some how been violated. So with all the violations going on in both directions saner head thought that it would be better to get Lohan off their hands, like a hot potato. So they issued bail, that was promptly paid. As of now Lohan is cooling her heals in some rehab facility or another, awaiting her next high profile chemical indiscretion!


Now here’s a little music video dedication for Brandon, Lindsay, and all those other poor wretched celebrities from A List down to triple Z, who haven’t yet made the transition from tabloid fodder to pop culture legend by way of the usual route.

wondertrash
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