911 tape:Demi Moore ‘smoked something’ before convulsions

Demi Moore has had some wild adventures recently but their nothing compared to Fran the Nanny Drescher. Many of you will know her as the gal from TV with the annoying voice and the Lucille Ball humour and good looks. Well there’s a lot more to her than that. In addition to being a talented comedienne she’s also out of this world – literally.

Once there was a girl from Flushing Queens;
then aliens snatched her up with transporter beams.

You see not long ago and in a galaxy near you Fran was abducted by aliens; and so was her husband Peter Marc Jacobson, in a separate incident. According to Fran, and “in all seriousness”:

“You know, it’s funny, because Peter and I both saw (aliens) before we knew each other, doing the same thing, driving on the road with our dads,” Drescher said, “in all seriousness.”

“We were both in junior high. A few years later, we met, and we realized that we had the same experience. I think that somehow we were programmed to meet,” Drescher says. “We both have this scar. It’s the exact same scar on the exact same spot.”

“I said to him, that’s what the aliens programmed us to think. But really, that’s where the chip is.”

Who would’ve guessed that the girl we described,
must’ve stopped taking what her doctor prescribed?

This is not only the kind of story that the National Enquirer used to dream about, but the first hi profile celebrity alien abduction since Anne Heche was Celestia! If you’ll recall Annie‘s space trip began innocently with automatic writing and ended in public nudity and a visit from the police! As for Fran’s, her PR rep is still at a loss for words, and probably working on a letter of resignation!


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Tip of the Ice Berg of Evil: Cheese Nazis, Killer Tomatoes, & Cows on Drugs!

Alex Jones is Charlie Sheen’s dark muse. During the Denise Richards divorce Richards claimed that Sheen would spend his days holed up in the basement smoking, web surfing, popping pills, & listening to Jones. Anyone remember Dale Gribble on King of the Hill? When Charlie decided to unleash the full measure of his warlock wrath, Jones was the guy he went to. He phoned Jones’ national conspiracy radio program & opened the flood gates to a torrent of tiger’s blood, Gnarly Gnarlingtons, & WINNING.

For those who don’t know Jones does the conspiracy beat. That used to be called the lunatic fringe but it went mainstream after 8 year of George W Bush had the public asking themselves “Is this guy really that dumb or is there something more going on?” Jones was on the cutting edge of that. He and a brit journalist Jon Ronson (author of the excellent The Psychopath Test) got a film crew to infiltrate Republican hang out Bohemian Grove. That was a glimpse inside the batcave which got Jones some mainstream attention, and made BG a must see tourist sight for California visitors – “Is this the place where they perform the human sacrifices?” Now it’s a haunted house inhabited by the demons of the Republican Party.

These days Jones covers a “tinfoil reduced” conspiracy beat, avoiding crop circles and concentrating on the NWO. His current focus is on the insidious erosion of the constitution through enforced vaccinations, plastic water bottles that turn men into sissies (Alex is clear to point out that he doesn’t mean “gay”, but “metro sexual”), and fluorescent lights that read your mind while causing vicious seizures. So his show is more of a trip to the close edge of the far side than all the way to the outer limits. It’s something familiar with something peculiar, and old situations with new complications.

He does have a flip side. For instance he follows the environmental angle with some weird human interest & odd ball news stories. Like the woman in Texas who got busted for growing tomatoes. Apparently the poor woman was growing some produce in flower boxes on her stoop when some meddling civil servants with too much free time gave her grief. Most people chalk this up to the kind of people who get into the bureaucracy, plus the effect of Parkinson’s Law (Parkinson’s Law is Peter’s Principle for the civil service). However Jones sees this as the tip of a larger iceberg of evil! First they come for your tomatoes, then they take you guns. Tomorrow they could be shooting school kids full of heroin as part of some civics course.

For instance on last Wednesday’s show his special health reporter – the Health Ranger – covered a ruthless cheese crack down. Apparently some people were making cheese without adherence to all the bi laws. To hear Jones tell it, it was a fascist crack down with Homeland Security swat teams rounding up the Amish and loading cheese into the back of government vans. It got a little Les Nessmanish for a minute or so, and I couldn’t help imaging jack booted government thugs accosting farm hands with odd intrusive questions like :

“What are you doing with that cow?”

“It’s personal, I swear!”

“Well it better be, cause if I catch you making cheese you’re in serious trouble!”.

Jones does make a good point though. Once upon a time people got their dairy products from the local farmer. Regulations helped drive the small local concerns under in favour of the modern industrial factory farms. Cows are no longer lovingly milked by creepy farm boys, free from prying eyes and intrusive questions. Instead they’re penned in and drugged like mental patients. They say the drugs are harmless hormones to encourage lactation, but with the NWO who knows what the real agenda is. A worst case scenario might have cows tormented with electric cattle prods while being given massive doses of LSD and forced to cooperate with elaborate mind programming training. How long do you think it could take a drugged, shocked cow to learn how to strip and reassemble an automatic firearm (Rumor is that Sarah Palin can do it in under 2 minutes, but I’m not suggesting that Palin will be the first MK Ultra mind controlled cow to become president!)? That leads to the obvious outcome of a breed of psychotic super cows bent on world domination and ensuing scenarios that the most deranged sci fi writers couldn’t dream of (though reality TV producers are currently working on it)!

That’s one of the points Alex tries to make; that you have to be aware of the implications of events. Try to see the big picture in the long term. Today pasteurization, tomorrow rule by cows! You have to stop these things while they’re small. Take the tomato lady for instance. Growing some tomatoes on the front porch sounds harmless, in theory. Yet Alex himself has pointed out time and time again that most produce is genetically altered into mutant “frankenfruit”. So who’s to say that these front porch tomatoes didn’t contain some rogue human DNA, perhaps grafted in from prison convicts to make a hardier, more aggressive strain.

Now that’s putting criminal genes to good use, but the down side is that you’ve got to watch those tomatoes every second! One minute their sitting quietly in the planter box, the next your asking “Where’s grandma?” while your staring at a tomato sitting between her empty flip flops and trying to look innocent. “She said she was going to the store for some lotto tickers – buurrpp!” It would be like a scene out of that film Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! Point is that maybe every neighborhood granny shouldn’t be meddling in government business by growing DNA enhanced super veg on the front porch. Criminal tomatoes need constant supervision!

You do have to give Jones credit. He’s fiendishly well informed. He actually encourages people to inform themselves, which is a message well worth heeding. It refreshing to hear a conspiracy theorist who doesn’t talk about the mark of the beast every 10 minutes, between channeling messages from the Pleiades. Besides, the guy is genuinely (and I’ll let you in on a secret, deliberately) funny. I suspect his real angle is half truths told half in jest. You might not always be sure when his tongue’s in his cheek, but he’s one hell of a performer. Would Charlie Sheen be a fan if he wasn’t? If Sheen knows anything it’s mad success in comedy!

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Curious George & Dimpled Chad

the President is still allegedly American
conspiracy theories and the “other” Mrs. Obama

President Barack Obama has been getting some grief from conspiracy theorists since he was elected. The most notable theory but by no means the only one is that Barack Obama was born in Kenya, and so is ineligible to be President based on not being native born. It’s not the only one. Other theories say that Obama is a Muslim, and atheist, a socialist, and a Vulcan from Krypton. One theory even purports that Obama is not actually black – but an attractive white woman who began impersonating a black man when she first decided to position herself for the presidency. The idea was that since Hillary Clinton had the chick vote sown up, an another angle was needed. While that is an intriguing theory, I think that it was probably dreamed up by someone who watched White Chicks too often while stoned.

A good offensive defense

The sad thing is that the President, if I may call her that, has felt the need to start addressing this issues; which by her own words are unworthy of comment. Barack Obama, with Michelle at his side, appeared on Oprah a little while ago to assure the American People that he is in fact an American, and that Donald Trump was no better than reality TV’s version of a carnival barker. Though Donald was much gratified by the mention.

I can’t tell the difference – these faked alien birth certificates are just as good as our real earth ones!

Though Oprah never once doubted him, I guess he felt that others needed reassurance. Not everyone is a graduate in The Course in Miracles, like Oprah; so their faith might need support. Just like the Apostles on the Sea of Galilee. To that end Obama also produced evidence of himself – not in the form of bread and fishes, but in the form of a Hawaiian birth certificate dated Aug 5 1961. Not that any one believed it. It was quickly picked apart on the Internet where some of the more committed among the lunatic fringe quickly analysed it for evidence of improper extra terrestrial tamper. Of course the birth Certificate came out clean. Since the aliens are years ahead of the human race technologically (they only lag behind us in bloody mindedness, which built this planet; and along with our atmosphere is our best defence against space invaders) this doesn’t prove anything. Maybe we just aren’t advanced enough to detect the signs of their technological interference in much the way that we’re still trying to decipher the hidden meaning of crop circles using the Enigma Code, with pi as a key (Steven Spielberg did suggest that they use music as a possible basis for decoding “Just like my ET!”, but the scientific community didn’t take him too seriously. The idea would’ve had more credibility coming from former physicist James Avatar Cameron).

Coming Soon

The probably with going on the defensive that way is that you never know when to stop until you’ve past the point of no return. In public figures that can be bad. Tom Cruise was off the couch and on the way home without realizing the damage he’d done to his image on Oprah (Some one should’ve got the President to watch that episode when he decided that appearing on Oprah would clear things up). First Obama’s showing his birth certificate, next he’s peeing in a cup on Livestream – like Charlie Sheen. What would come next? Perhaps some lively Sheen’s Korner type channel on youtube, featuring the President directly addressing the American People with frequent updates on his personal life. Since his personal life is no where near as colourful as Charlie’s he should skip that. The closest thing he has to a goddess is wife Michelle and she’s been camera shy ever since she got shit for touching the Queen. “Come here and say ‘hi’ Michelle.” “Barry no.” “Oh go, on we’re on youtube!” Of course if the Pres starts addressing the Vulcan Muslim atheist issue, or pulling down his pants to prove that he is in fact a man then we’ll know that he’s gone too far; though become way more interesting!

The Nobel Award for outstanding motion picture achievement in sanctimonious high mindedness!

In this one thing at least Obama would’ve done well to have taken a page from the Book of Bush. If you’ll recall Bush was never supposed to be President either – but you didn’t hear him defending himself. He was never supposed to be pres because he stole the election – allegedly. It happened down in the state of Florida where George stole about 300 votes from Al Gore (the democratic Party’s Dan Quayle and way too interested in rain forest frogs to be relevant to tax payers, though the Motion Picture Academy and the Nobel Prize Committee liked him well enough – give those two esteemed bodies something in common!), and he did it with the help of some one called Dimpled Chad.

the Ballad of Dimpled Chad

Now I’m not sure who Dimpled Chad is, but I gather that he’s a kind of gay G Gordon Liddy. His secret identity as a gay adult film star made him a highly valuable CIA asset (like John Erik Hexum on Cover Up!). It may have been in his capacity as a spy, and not as a gay porn star, that he first got in touch with the Bush clan. Although there are those who say that he first ran into Bush family members at Bohemian Grove, during one of that club’s “no girls allowed” annual naked wing dings. The Bush Family quickly found him handy for dirty work of various kinds, and Dimpled Chad found himself on the way up in the world. However after the Florida Election Caper he found himself in too compromising a position. As daytime talk show hosts clamoured to get a piece of him, he disappeared into obscurity before he had fully emerged from it.

Bush whacked!

No one is quite sure what ever happened to Dimpled Chad. Some say that he had become too dangerous. George had him whisked away to CIA HQ for some Stan Smith American Dad style brainwashing/reprogramming. That didn’t work out and Chad had to be hospitalized long term after cracking up and starting to go “Andrew Cunanin”. Others say that George had him sold to Indonesia organized crime, as a horse collared gay sex slave. Others say that he was reprogrammed with top secret technology and is now a straight Mormon elder with no recollection of his previous life (except for that brief flicker he gets every time some well established Mormon says he’s seen him some where before, “on TV or something right?”). Still others say that Bush just had him whacked!

Deep dimpled cover

Now I’ve heard that the actual story is that Bush didn’t have him whacked – for old times sake. Though it would’ve been safer to whack him Bush retained a soft spot for the sexy young man who helped him rig an election and become both the most powerful & the most dangerous man on planet earth! Besides, sine Chad was instrumental in setting in motion a course of events that lead to the execution of Saddam Hussein, or at least a buck toothed imposture in the place of Hussein, the world owned Chad. So he had him spirited out of the country. No one is sure where Chad went. Some say South America, while others swear he’s on the Mediterranean. The stories do agree that he’s kept in grand style. George set him up with a Villa and a checking account courtesy of the American Taxpayer (and there by finding more worthwhile usages for the funds than saving rain forest frogs!).

A loose lipped old dumpling

Chad has been warned to keep his mouth shut about who he is and what he knows. If he talks too much then he could wind up as an anonymous gay male Marilyn Munroe! Since all he’s material needs are more than adequately met there’s really no reason for him to show his face. As long as he’s smart he can go on living like gay royalty! Yet having started life as a young up and comer Chad can’t help letting the story slip from time to time. That’s allegedly how the rumour has started coming to light. Chad knows he shouldn’t repeat this stuff but he likes the attention! Attention is harder to come by these days too, now that he’s been sequester from the rest of the world, and made so fat and complacent that he’s more Dumpy Chad than dimpled. The loose talk could be embarrassing, but even when it does get back to Big George, he refuses to do anything about it, except cut him another check. So the moral of the story is that if George W can overlook all that, then Barack Obama really shouldn’t feel any need to defend himself on the birth certificate issue, let alone the whole transvestite communist Vulcan Muslim thing! Although if he wants to it would make for some fantastic gossip!

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Shannon "Tweed off" with Gene Simmons


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Jon & Kate didn’t make it. Neither did Hulk Hogan & whatshername – you know, that greedy old bitch who looks like Dog Duayne Chapman’s wife and screwed a 23 year old pool boy – She Hulk. So has reality TV claimed another marriage? Looks like that Family Jewels couple Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed might be hitting a rough patch. Or at least that’s what they’re saying publicly. With their son and daughter pretty much grown and out of the house Shannon has pretty much had enough of Gene’s constant fucking around philandering ways. Though she knew he was a rock star with a 12 inch tongue when she didn’t marry him, she claims that she’s your average wide eyed, naive, ex Playboy bunny, and thought that some how marrying a satanic rock star would be a fairy tale come true. In what Monarch mind controlled brain washed delusion baby?

TV Bunny gets hopping mad on camera

Apparently it was some pictures of Gene out with younger prettier bunnies that has Shannon’s tweed (since she’s from Newfoundland I assume that her tweed is herring bone) rubbed the wrong way. As you could see in the above clip Shannon is pretty worked up and maintained her pique for the reality TV crew that follow the couple everywhere. Shannon also managed to appear on the Kathy Lee & Hoda (Hoda sounds like one of those banned diet aids) with her despised common law significant other – partner I believe is the accepted term for some one you’re doing long term but not formally committed to – to promoted their reality TV show and impending potential bust up. They traded some cute barbs too. So Shannon ain’t exactly sharing a Kleenex box with Huma Abedin over their respective wayward wieners. IN fact the lady seems all business!

full disclosure or plausible deniablity?

So that has folks of the cynical variety – like Internet bloggers between UFO disclosure posts – speculating about the reality of this reality TV. Could Shannon and Gene really be on the outs after 20 odd years – and odd they must have been – of a fairly stable and highly successful partnership?? Could some pictures of Gene-O out and about with a couple of random floozies but not pictured in any incriminating positions really have gotten her goat? Maybe with the kiddies grown and flown she’s ready to pull the usual maneuver of pulling the plug on a relationship that’s outlived it’s usefulness, then cashing in on alimony and community property as a show biz bride’s retirement package! Any of these options might be plausible, if reality TV wasn’t as scripted and staged as pro wrestling!

Sounds like a publicity stunt

The consensus among the skeptics is that this is just some ploy to hype up their already popular and well liked series. For one thing marital domestic fireworks might be a gimmick to get folk to keep watching. For another it take s a couple on pretty firm ground get on TV and pretend to jab at each other. If there were any real friction there then the sparring could well bleed over into unmanageable animosity. Besides, Gene is fresh of playing a concert down in Newfoundland. As stated that’s Shannon’s birth place, and rumors on the rock was that he did the show as a favor to the missus. So I’m calling bullshit on the dog & pony act, unlike Sarah Palin’s hotly denied separation. If those two are still together now then I doubt that either is going anywhere. At least it’s entertaining bullshit. With a couple as likeable as those two, viewers will probably play along with the corny play acting.

Bogus bust ups

P.S. Here’s a hint about how you can tell when a bust up is bogus or for realz. When German adult film actress Xenia Seeberg -best known from Lexx and some widely view porno type flicks, separated from her husband Sven Martinek the shit came to blows. Xenia is a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. So when the pair showed up at the Berlin premier of Inglorious Basterds they not only showed up separately, but Sven showed up wearing sun glasses and an eye patch! Apparently Xenia got riled a beat the snot out of the poor man while in one of her kung fu fits! Now if violence ain’t for real then it certainly gets points for realism!

Dave knows a creepy thing or two

Now here’s part 2 of Hollywood & MK Ultra. Betcha didn’t know that the real reason Joaquin Phoenix went cuckoo was because his brain washing backfired. That’s when they sent him to Dr. Dave. Letterman knows a thing or two about handling slaves, that is if the blackmailer’s stories can be believed!

http://www.youtube.com/get_player
proceed at your own risk!


BTW this won’t need pointing out to the observant among you, but in the above Gene Simmons Shannon Tweed simulated fight video, Gene is shown flashing the Illuminati hand sign at one point. Now that hand sign has been seen everywhere lately and everyone from George W to Betty White to Justin Bieber to Prince William has been seen making it. Just for your information the technical name of that particular occult gesture is the Baphomet Sign.

“Hello Princess – Brown Levi 2003 11A!”

More on the occult: a helpful hint for those of you trying to pick up a little action is that Monarch sex slaves, such as Paris Hilton, can sometimes be triggered using the code phrase “Hello Princess“. This activates their Monarch Mind Control Brain Programming. Once the trigger phrase is used, princess, whomever she may be, will have the bit in her teeth and be ready to go to the races. You may then have your will of your hot to trot hottie.

in my mind and in my car, we can’t rewind we’ve gone too far – entertainment & entrapment!

However unless you know the appropriate follow up trigger phrase there can be some strange side effects; like the lady can suddenly seize up and go ridged on you. That’s a precaution the slave handler programmers put into to make sure no one messes with their action. It can be damned inconvenient too if it happens at the wrong time and in the wrong place! I know a guy who says he once had a hell of a time trying to get a half naked Liv Tyler out of a phone booth, and eventually had to leave her there. He was afraid the cosplay costume she was wearing would start attracting unwanted attention! Of course that could be just shit you hear a the conspiracy conventions!

julia voth as wonder woman

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Sarah Palin split Up Shocker!

If Arnold Schwarzenegger has shown us anything it’s that there’s a fine line between celebrity and politics. Of course many caught on to that when Ronald Reagan became the first Hollywood actor to play a president on TV, officially. Another thing Schwartzy has shown us is that there’s a fine line between politics and celebrity gossip. That’s a point Anthony Wiener recently underscored by way of Twitter. It’s one thing to underscore it, but Sarah Palin has made a livelihood out of it by way of her reality TV series, her frequent & tiresome public appearances, and the persistent threat that she may run for high office.

Sarah has kept us periodically entertained and frequently irritated with her family’s over the top antics; like such as teen aged pregnancies, illegitimate children, rogue son in laws, and the like. That’s when she’s not hunting caribou from helicopters with high powered rifles or dodging her numerous stalkers. With a powder keg personal life like that it was only a matter of time before the fireworks started, and if recent rumors are to be believed – and who doesn’t like to give them an ear – the match is in the tinder box!

What’s started tongues wagging was Sarah’s recent purchase of a pricey new pad. The pad in question is down in Scottsdale, Arizona. So she’s once again abandoned her beloved Alaska! The spread cost a bundle too. The mansion is estimated to be worth some where in the neighborhood of $2 million. That sounds like it must be some neighborhood! I guess inane antics must pay off!

Anyway the upshot is that Palin’s better half, hen pecked hubby Todd, seems to have no plans to move. He’s firmly rooted up north in Alaska. So this has everyone talking about some kind of secret split up. Now there have been rumors about bad news in the Palin marriage for awhile. Like the story going around that Sarah was having an affair with a local Wasilla snow mobile dealer named Brad Hanson. Brad is Todd’s partner in the dealership, and in more than that, according to the local tittle tattle.

It gets worse. Sources say that Sarah has thrown away her wedding ring in some sort of a huff. Further more she’s kicked Todd out of his coveted place in her bed. So basically the marriage is over. What’s more a secret Bill and Hillary type arrangement has been hammered out between the pair. Todd is to appear at Sarah’s side during important public occasions. Meanwhile everything from property division to child custody has already been agreed on. The idea is that Sarah’s gearing up for a 2012 presidential run, possibly with Donald Trump as running mate, and doesn’t want any nasty divorce ruining whatever chances that she has. She wants to keep all the family values FOX News viewers firmly in her corner. Hence the pretense. Sounds like a tense pretense!

This isn’t the end of Sarah’s machinations either. She placed daughter Willow under house arrest. Willow is a loose cannon and lightening rod for bad news. She was the but of one of David Letterman’s misdirected jokes. David made a crack about Willow getting it on with ARod during a trip to NYC. When the brouhaha broke out Dave backpedaled, claiming he meant to take a jab at older sister Bristol, but get’s all those little Palin sluts mixed up. Who doesn’t? Willow also got involved in some kind of homophobic rant on Facebook. Sarah put the clamps down on that. Even though she believes that marriage is something between a woman, a man, and possible his snowmobile dealership partner; she doesn’t want to antagonize anyone with a vote. Probably very wise. The upshot is that Willow has been pulled out of school and is being home schooled. Those little Palin sluts are just too damned dangerous to be let out in public and Sarah ain’t taking any chances!

All this grape vine rumor mill gossip leads to one very disturbing conclusion: Lucy Ricardo is actually serious about running for America’s highest office! Since republicans figure that Obama is invincible this time round – he did finish off Osama Bin Laden, which their diabolical hero George W made such a big deal about so they’re not in a position to say much, though they never shut up, at least on FOX – she’ll probably get the nomination. No real contender wants to waste the one shot at the brass ring. So the heavy weights are gonna wait until 2016. You’ll probably say “So what? She’ll never get it.” except that’s what everyone said about Ronald Reagan.

So that leaves President Sarah as a worst case scenario. That’s enough to set a tingle in the guts of even the least nervous among us. however you ought not to worry too much. If history repeats it’s self, as it is doomed to do, then if elected she’ll probably bail out half way through her term, perhaps to pursue a motion picture career in Hollywood. So that leaves us with only 2 yaers of mischief to worry about. Those two zany mad cap years could resurrect the careers of political satirist like Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.

Have you ever wondered why Hollywood celebrities seem be off their rockers on a regular basis? Well the answer to that is easy and straight forward. According tot he work of Fritz Springmeier it’s because they’re a pack of brain washed zombies. The poor little dears have been programmed using some pretty harsh mind control techniques developed by the CIA, in cooperation with the Illuminati, called Project Monarch. This is also why celebs, like Drew Barrymore, run in families. It’s because the predisposition to be brainwashed – which depends on be able to enter a disassociative state – is hereditary. The trouble is that the brainwashing has side effects, and every so often one of the beautiful people goes ca ca cuckoo! Don’t take my word for it though – here’s part one of a 28 part video documentary made by the good folks over @ pseudo occult media. You probably would’a though that this mind control stuff was crazy, before Charlie Sheen that is.

http://www.youtube.com/get_player

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Bad Grammer



Kelsey Frasier Grammer had been married to Real Housewives Camille Donatacci for 13 and had 2 kids: Jude and Mason. Then their marriage exploded in allegations of cheating and cross dressing. The cheating allegations proved true, we can only guess about the cross dressing.

We know that the cheating stories were true because Kelsey side piece came out fo the wood work claiming to be knocked up by the TV star. The sides piece was a British airline hostess fresh from the friendly skies and named Kayte Walsh. She was 30 and Grammer was 56.

Kayte miscarried, but Frasier claimed that he wanted to marry the woman anyway, causing some to wonder whether he had alcohol related brain damage or something. So some nuptials got planned. Before they could get followed through on a divorce had to be planned – it’s just like a fairy tale! So Frasier and the missus went at it. Housewives fan saw that play pout on Camille’s reality TV show!

Lawyers were hired and blame was assigned. It could’ve dragged on and on and on, but Kelsey was eager for the beaver, so he coughed up 50 mill to get it over and done with quickly, if not painlessly. The ideas was that Camille would take the hefty windfall and go off to do what ever Hollywood ex wives do: live happily ever after in a wold of plastic surgery, colonic therapy, and New Age self exploration. Maybe she’d write a book about reinventing herself.

This is where the hangover starts. Seems that Kelsey’s plans to get everything clued up quick hit a snag when he and Camille started bickering over the kids. According to Camille, who has given her side to the National Enquirer, she was only too happy to share joint custody with Kelsey. But then Grammer got greedy and demanded total sole custody of the kids. That would’ve cut Mom out of the picture. So the pair went to war – funny how unavoidable war is even in our present enlightened age. Must be a human nature thing I guess.

According to Camille Grammar has no right to full custody. After all he’s the one who selfishness ruined his marriage by knocking up a stewardess. That left the children confused and traumatized. He abandoned his parental rights when he abandoned his parental duties, and you can’t have it both ways, even if you’re Dr Frasier Crane!

Frasier did some other bad suff to. Frasier has been introducing the kids to the new Mrs Grammar. That’s awkward but unavoidable. However something he might have avoided doing was introducing her to the kids as “your other mother”. I guess that makes Camille “the starter mom”. Naturally Camille saw red, hit the roof, and then went ballistic, after hearing about Kelsey’s grammar! Now any farm boy fresh off the back of the pick up could’a told him that was a bad idea. Maybe he was being spiteful. You know how adversity brings out the best in people, unless adversity is a divorce, in which case the devil might go running for shelter.

“Just say ‘yes!’ – If we can separate image from self, then we can get rid of awareness, and that will make reality obsolete!”

Kelsey Grammar’s sleazy antics once again raise the question of “Why do the beautiful people engage in self destructive behavior?” That’s a question at least as old as the self help movement. So we can date it as far back as the 60’s. It’s lead to the whole self awareness movement, which evolved into New Age, and eventually Oprah Winfrey! Now self awareness is a long involved process and that takes both time and effort. Why make a long haul commitment when you can fly now and pay later? That’s the $64 000 question that helped self help evolve into what it’s become today – what ever that is.

Now it shouldn’t surprise you to know that the whole self help movement was invented back in the early 60’s by a plastic surgeon named Maxwell Maltz. He’s reputed to have done way more than 60 000 nose jobs before he got wise. He discovered somewhere in the process of bobbing those noses that you could make a woman look like a princess but she’d still feel like a loser.

So Maltz decided that the problem was self image. That’s when he made the switch from plastic surgery to pop psychology! He decided that what you had to do to make people whole healthy and successful was to do some reconstructive surgery on their self image. Then you could crack out winners as if by assembly line. He called it working on the person from the circumference in, instead of from the center out! So you can tell it was invented by a plastic surgeon. In a way you could say that he invented the make over – which is what self help has become (though that’s not a 64 000 question, or at least I ain’t gonna get anything for that answer!).

hear now!

Here now is an audio of the book that made Maltz an obscure household name. So set your servo mechanism towards personal growth and tune into Psycho-cybernetics! Your self image will thank you for it! Actually it won’t. That shallow selfish nob will move on and lose your phone number!

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wondertrash

Murphy’s Law: What ever happened to Jim Corr

goosing loose ends

Back in the early 90’s the Irish pop group the Corrs picked up a whole lot of international attention with their smooth light pop stylistics. The group had some real success and then went their separate ways. The sisters went on to marry and quarrel amongst themselves. That left brother Jim at loose ends. Now it is sort of an unwritten law of the universe that when some one is at loose ends something is gonna come along to fill that void. In Jim’s case it’s an avid and active interest in conspiracy theories.

It’s life Jim, but not as we know it

What sort of theories is Jim interested in? Well you know the usual stuff – the Royal Family are shape shifting reptilians, air port security is a plot to render the American male impotent, the financial crash was engineered by the Rothschilds, and oh yeah – 911 was an inside job. Here’s a little video that just recently surfaced on the Irish Central website. It features Jim defending his beliefs against some glibly dismissive assholes.

Now I know that looks bad but wait – it gets worse (getting worse is an inviolable law of the universe. Cynics call it “Murphy’s Law” but physicists know it better as the 2nd law of thermodynamics. IN practical terms it means that things fall apart because it’s thte tendency of things to do so.). Jim had this to say about the usual suspects and the usual subjects.



WTF?

Saying that Jim finally found a way to take the attention away from his beautiful sisters would be cheap shot – so naturally most people are gonna do that. I feel that Jim isn’t really to blame for whatever ideas have found their way into his head. I think that the blame goes directly to George W Bush. I mean his two term presidency was an unmitigated disaster; that saw the tide run out on the USA, and inflamed the market for conspiracies theories to the point that Alex Jones reputedly has a small shrine dedicated to W in his home and makes daily thanks offering to it.

The Menacing Idiot: Presitard

So that had people who’s brains weren’t completely numbed with denial asking “what the fuck actually happened in the past 8 years?” It’s a fair question. During the Bill Clinton Era America ruled the roost. When the President said “jump” foreign leaders said “how high?” (nowadays they simply guide the President to the nearest ledge and say “you first“). The economy was in overdrive to the point that any Forrest Gump type numskull could make it rich if he wasn’t too honest and knew how to bend the rules. Now middle class Americans have to ask for govt stimulus packages so that they can avoid the indignity of buying smaller cars and flipping burgers to make ends meet.

Who spiked the Punch? Optimism is seeing the glass as half full; paranoia is asking what it’s full of!

So what went wrong? The inevitable conclusion seems to be, as usual with pro politicians, that Bush was either dishonest or incompetent. Jim Corr has given W the benefit of the doubt and decided he’s dishonest, rather than a fucking moron. While that may be the flaw in his conspiracy theory, you do have to empathize. The alternative is that a majority of the American public voted a moron into the Presidency – for a second term if not a first. That would be enough to undermine a sensible person’s faith in human nature ( a really sensible person has already lost that). So you can’t blame Jim for wanting to give just plain people, as well as W, the benefit of the doubt. Jim CorrI salute your crazy optimism!

wondertrash
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