McConaughey on Oscar win: "I did not expect it"

Matt McConaughey not only won the big prize last night, but gave very gracious press speech.

Now here’s the New York Times take on Oscar Nite!

Finally Clevver TV has their Best & Worst moments.

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US hockey in Sochi – what happened?

When it comes to entertainment sports is a main event. When it comes to hockey America is usually a pretty strong contender (Unless you’re talking about those southern franchises from states where they don’t have ice, sow hat can you expect?). Of the original 6 NHL teams 4 are American franchises. So in Olympic competition the USA can usually be counted on for a medal, and are usually a gold medal threat.

So what the fuck happened to them at the Sochi Winter Olympics? They blew their bronze medal game and went away without a medal, or a goal! Basically they lost 5-0. This is where expert analysis comes in. In this case the expert analysis comes from FOX Sports, and a seasoned respected hockey veteran. Let’s have a brief look at the following FOX video and try to glean a little insight into exactly where the American Hockey Train left the rails.

Alec Baldwin is leaving New York – what happened?

This never ever would’ve happened to them if they’d had Charlie Sheen on board. He whipped the Mighty Ducks into shape!  BTW it’s not only a bad day for American hockey. Things ain’t looking too good for Alec Baldwin either. He managed to offend some people with some impulsive remarks that he may or may not have made. Basically he was accused of using a homophobic slur against a photographer whom he felt was harassing his then pregnant wife. Alec said he didn’t say it and that he didn’t mean it,  but the brouhaha didn’t quite blow over. So that has Alex saying he’s getting the fuck out of New York – which he says has lost it’s soul anyway (according to a recent interview he says NYC’s soul has moved to Brooklyn). He also took the opportunity to deliver some tongue lashings, like:

“Morning Joe” co-host Joe Scarborough “is neither eloquent nor funny,” Baldwin wrote. He called MSNBC star Rachel Maddow “a phony who doesn’t have the same passion for the truth off-camera that she seems to have on the air.” He called CNN’s Anderson Cooper “the self-appointed Jack Valenti of gay media culture,” referring to the late motion picture association president who created the film ratings system.

Nothing personal. Alec has it in for the media these days:

“I loathe and despise the media in a way I did not think possible,” Baldwin writes. “This is the last time I’m going to talk about my personal life in an American publication ever again.” He also denies that he used a homophobic slur during the confrontation with the photographer. “Do you honestly believe I would give someone like TMZ’s Harvey Levin, of all people, another club to beat me with?” he writes.


“If MSNBC went off the air tomorrow, what difference would it make?”

Alec used to work with MSNBC, but his show got pulled followed his alleged controversial comments.

You can read more about Baldwin’s fare well & go to hell goodbye to New York @ Page 6. & USA Today.

Now the $64 000 dollar question is what is Alec gonna do to redeem himself? He could go on Dancing With The Stars. That’s the usual celebrity rehabilitation route. If he picks a same sex dance partner it would not only send out a positive message, but wife Hilaria could also rest assured that no hank panky is going on. That is unless Alec takes his rehabilitation really seriously. The problem with that is it’s totally overdone.

I’d suggest finding a Hollywood mentor to help him negotiate this difficult period. Now when it comes to handling himself in public few are in George Clooney’s league. That’s cause Clooney is as smooth as he is cool. The man never ever says one word out of place. He’s also got out of the USA and over to Lake Como Italy before anything untoward ever had a chance of happening. That’s very good planning. So with GC’s sage guidance Alec might be able to avoid unfotunate public gaffs inthe future. That only leaves the question of what to do aboutt he exsisting fallout.

Naturally there’s only one man for that job. Charlie Sheen has weathered more storms than Alec Baldwin has gotten around to yet. Any one of Charlie’s crisis might’ve finished lesser men. Yet Charlie not only survives but comes out stronger. He’s not reached the point where he’s accepted for who he is and so can live by his own rules. Let’s face it, the man’s a bona fide warlock! So he might be the very one tot each Baldwin how to ride the mercury surf board across the stormy shit tsunami now threatening to engulf his life. With Charlie to show him the way Baldwin might turn this whole thing around and come out bigger, stronger, and better than ever before. Let’s put it this way, it’s either that, or move to France. April’s coming up so it might be a nice time for Paris.

In the meantime hang in there Alec. Keep a low profile. Don’t say anything more than you have to. Maybe catch up on some long neglected hobbies. Sooner or later, and more sooner than later if experience is any indication, some other celebrity is gonna do or say something so outrageous that your current problems will be forgotten like a back page new item. There’s just no shortage of disgraced celebrities in the Internet age, and we’re getting more all the time.

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The Rise of ABC: The Stars, Struggles, and Egos That Transformed Network Television

There’s more to entertainment than rehab & court dates!

Behind every flambouyant celebrity is a grey suited businesslike execuctive who's job it is to keep the whole show running. They're people like Brad Grey and Sumner Redstone. They're also people like Leonard H. Goldenson who did what they said couldn't be done, that is creat ABC as America's viable third television network

Most normal healthy people enjoy a little bit of entertainment gossip. Celebrities are larger than life, and even their problems seem more glamorous than our own. However behind every outrageous public personality is a serious gray suited executive type quietly deciding which pilots to promote and which scheduling slots to fill.

Apart from big name execs like Sumner Redstone and Brad Grey you might not know who they are, or even thought much about their existence. They’re the flip side of entertainment. Think of them like the wizard in Oz, hiding behind the curtain while keeping the whole wild show going. They’re the ones who make it possible. So let’s spend and hour with Leonard H. Goldenson, former president of ABC & the man who built that networkto find out about what goes on behind the curtain!

courtesy of  The Film Archives

Leonard H. Goldenson (December 7, 1905 — December 27, 1999) was President of the U.S. television and radio broadcaster ABC.

was born in Pennsylvania in 1905. He grew up in the town of Scottdale,
Pennsylvania and graduated from Scottdale High School. He is arguably
the most influential person from Scottdale. He was educated at Harvard,
and entered the entertainment industry in 1933 as an attorney for
Paramount Pictures after graduating from Harvard Business School.
Goldenson was hired to help reorganize United Paramount Theatres,
Paramount’s theater chain, which at the time was nearing bankruptcy. So
skillful was his work at this assignment that Paramount’s chief
executive officer, Barney Balaban, hired Goldenson to manage the entire

Goldenson orchestrated the merger of United Paramount
Theatres with ABC in 1953 (after Paramount was ordered to spin it off in
the wake of United States v. Paramount Pictures, Inc., a 1948 decree of
the U.S. Supreme Court). ABC was originally formed in 1943 in the wake
of an earlier Supreme Court decree effectively ordering the spinoff of
the largely secondary-status Blue Network from its then-parent, NBC; its
buyer, industrialist Edward J. Noble, tried valiantly to build ABC into
an innovative and competitive broadcaster, but by 1951 was rumored to
be on the verge of selling the nearly bankrupt operation to CBS, who
apparently wanted ABC’s critically important owned-and-operated
television stations.[1][2]

Goldenson rescued ABC with a $25 million
cash infusion, becoming the founding chairman of the merged company
which was named American Broadcasting-Paramount Theatres. The modern ABC
dates its history from the effective date of the Goldenson transaction,
and not the Blue Network spinoff.

Although he focused chiefly on ABC
Television, Goldenson oversaw all areas of ABC-Paramount’s
entertainment/media operations for over thirty years, from 1951 to 1986,
including the creation of the AmPar Record Corporation in 1955 and the
‘rebadging’ of the ABC-Paramount group as the American Broadcasting
Company in 1968.[3] Goldenson also was instrumental in the sale of ABC
to Capital Cities Communications in 1986. Very early on in his tenure,
Goldenson also hired the first African-American staff announcer in
network television and radio history, Sid McCoy.

Goldenson, whose
first-born daughter was born with cerebral palsy, co-founded United
Cerebral Palsy in 1949 and used station WBKB (at the time owned by
United Paramount Theatres) to be the flagship station for the inaugural
UCP telethon that year.

In 1974, Mr. Goldenson received The Hundred
Year Association of New York’s Gold Medal Award “in recognition of
outstanding contributions to the City of New York.”

The Leonard H.
Goldenson Theater at the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences
building in North Hollywood, California is named in his honor.…

Now you just have to give Leonard his full measure of credit. He helped create ABC. ABC is the network that brought us Wonder Woman in the form of Lynda Carter. So he’s entitled to the same measure of gratitude as Lucille Ball is for giving the world Star Trek through her Desilu Productions! On behalf of comic fans everywhere, a hearty thanks to you sir!

ABC is the network that gave the world Wonder Woman in the form of Lynda Carter, and Leonard H. Goldenson gave America ABC!
Keep Calm & Call Wondertrash!

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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Ted Nugent Offers Disingenuous "Apology" For Calling Obama A "Subhuman Mongrel"

Ted goes off half cocked, shoots from the lip

Ted Nugent is many things. He’s a genuinely talented musician. Although zany, he’s an articulate & outspoken advocate for the causes he supports. He’s an inflammatory media personality who can be counted on to say something outrageous. These days he’s also up to his neck in shit. That’s because while debating a cause he fervently believes in – the right to bear arms, he got carried away and called US President Barack Obama a ‘sub human mongrel’. That at about 2:50 on the above tape.

while talking to the good people at recently motor city mad man Ted Nugent got a little carried away while using his 1st ammendment rights to defend his 2nd ammendment rights. Then he called US President Barack Obama a really nasty name
America’s Crazy Uncle Ted

Now to understand a multi faceted personality like Ted Nugent you have to put him in context. Every other family in America has a “crazy uncle”. He’s usually your mom or dad’s youngest sib. His parents were too old and tired to deal with him so he grew up wild & doing pretty much whatever the fuck he wanted. He drops by your house unexpected, because your parents would never invite him. When he shows up he’s stinking of booze and weed. Some completely messed up girl who looks like a stripper is hanging on his arm. He invites himself in and spends the evening regaling everyone with tales of fucking and fighting. While the children gather around to listen eagerly, mom looks like she’s about to give birth to an ulcer. Dad just kind of stares blankly into space while nursing a strong drink. Occasionally dad nods and says something non committal like “uh huh”, or “hmmmm”. The theme of the evening is “let’s just get this over with”. If the scene were a painting it would be Norman Rockwell by Salvador Dali! Basically Nugent is America’s Crazy Uncle Ted & friendly bad influence.

So that brings us back to Ted and the shit he’s in. Ted was giving an interview to the good people over at They have a lot in common, like their support of the second 2nd Amendment, and their liberal exercise of the 1st Amendment. That’s an admirable thing. More Americans should probably bother to acquaint themselves with the workings of their government, and involve themselves in it’s processes. That’s taking democracy back and making it work for the people – like it was intended to do (but if you put the foxes in charge of the hen house then what can you expect?). Problem is that Ted got carried away. Then he called the US Pres Barack Obama a real nasty name.

Now as you can imagine that hasn’t gone over very well. For one thing Ted is actively campaigning for Rick Perry‘s successor to the Texas governorship. I’m sure that the Republicans were glad to have him on board. It projects the right image – that conservative politics is as relevant to cool outlaw rock n rollers as it is to too big to fail wall street brokers. The common touch is where ever you find it! Of course now with Ted spouting racist type language of the kind that wouldn’t be welcome on Duck Dynasty, the right wing is distancing it’s self from Ted “Loose Cannon” Nugent. Like when Rick Perry showed up on CNN and admitted that he personally has a problem with anyone calling his president a ‘sub human mongrel’.

So where does that leave us. For one thing Ted probably ain’t getting invited out to any more political rallies. Professional politicians have enough trouble explaining their own gaffs without having to take responsibility for other peoples. It also leaves Ted backpedaling in the form of an apology. Apology is a fine thing, though some have described his as a bit ‘half hearted’. Since his original comments were a bit half cocked, maybe it evens out in sort of the same way that two wrongs make a right or something.

Then again lets hope that Crazy Uncle Ted is more responsible with his 2nd Amendment rights then he is in discharging his 1st Amendment rights. In the meantime Ted’s future forays into the public eye will probably be increasingly uninvited and unexpected. As entertaining as those might be, they might be a bit of a challenge to get through! Now here’s that apology!

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Show it off, take it off, take it too far

Two much, too far

A few years ago Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt could have laid claim to the dubious distinction of being America‘s most irritating celebrities. Then they went away for awhile. Now they’re back with a vengeance, pissing of the Brits they way they once did their own country men. So what has brought them back from obscurity? Believe it or not the Mayan calendar!

According to the Daily Dish on SFGate the Pratt Montags were once worth $10 million dollars. Then the spent the lot, blowing their whole wad, because they were afraid that the world would come to and end. According to Spence in Britain’s OK MagazineWe made and spent at least 10 million dollars. The thing is, we heard that the planet was going to end in 2012. We thought, we have got to spend this money before the asteroid hits. “Pratt adds, “I would give my friends $15,000 for their birthday. Just cash. I would buy people cars. Every valet I met got a couple of hundred pounds tip. I would pay people $200 just to open doors for us.” So now they’re out there again trying to hustle up another fortune. Remember that $10 mill is their ‘going away’ price. In the meantime they’ll still be hitting our collective attention like an asteroid.

Heidi & Spencer are like some couple that won a lottery in which the 1st prize is fame. That might’ve even been the premise of a reality TV show back a few years ago, during their hey day. That was when normal person were pulled out in front of the camera’s for the amusement of people like themselves.

  Showing it off – Fair Olivia Vanity Wilde

Montag Pratt ain’t the only ones you’ll be seeing more of. Olivia Wilde is about to get revealing. Wilde is going to be doing something with Vanity Fair – probably and interview that’s and set up for a photo shoot. Anyway there are photos cause it is Olivia Wilde and people like seeing more of her.

This issue is gonna be some kind of Hollywood tribute. That’s one of those things big name mags do from time to time to ensure a list participation. This one will feature the photography of Bruce Weber and includes Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, etc. Incidentally Olivia is doing Bruce Wondertstone with Steve Carrell in which she plays the magicians assistant. No word on her wardrobe for that.

Taking it off & taking liberties

Seems like you can never get enough exposure  Take Liberty Ross for instance. She was some kind of hi powered fashion model or something. That means she’s accustomed to baring the bod for fame and fortune. Then she got married.  That was to Rupert Saunders. Now he’s some kind of hi powered director or something. I think that’s how he got to meat meet  Kristen Stewart on Snow White And The Huntsman. They got along pretty for while.Then the relationship mead to tabloid scandal. Then we got to hear even more about Liberty Ross.

Now it’s time for the next chapter in “Taking Liberties“. She’s leaving Rupert. She may or may not have a tell all book planned. She’s also gonna be posing nude for Britain’s Love Magazine, for their “Clean” issue released on Feb 4. Liberty gives an interview about her recent life events “It is very intense,” she tells the magazine. “I feel like recently I am finding out who I am“, but she doesn’t regret anything. As said she also takes her clothes off.

Celebrities thrive on revealing themselves. They’re exhibitionists in a voyeur world. You might find it challenging to stay as interested in them as many of them are in themselves. In some case, like such as the Pratt Montags, you might wish they’d give us a little break now and then. However remember that deep down you love it and can’t get enough! No one forces you to look, and if you didn’t wanna see you wouldn’t. So sit back, relax, and let yourself off easy – the world is your peep show!

Wondertrash never shows you anything you weren’t looking for!
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Kristen Stewart is the Conspiracy!

A funny thing happened while taking Liam Rhines for a ride with Paddy Wagoner

While I was busy dreaming up Internet message board aliases today – stuff like Liam Rhines & Paddy Wagoner, I couldn’t help wondering what ever happened to the conspiracy movement. Now if you’re anything like me then you like an occasional far fetched trip the the revolving door of paranoia. So the past ten years were one hell of a ride. If you’ll recall it all began back in New York City on 911 when 19 Islamic  terrorist committed the greatest act of mass murder ever perpetrated on American soil. They pulled it off with out the aid of readily available and perfectly legal semi automatic fire arms too! So this was an event to challenge everyone’s belief system!

Those were the days – back when “going jihad” was the new “gone ballistic”

As the western world reeled from shock it struggled to make sense out of what had just happened. As far as any one could tell Mid Eastern fundies hiding behind their hijabs and armed only with Korans and wild eyed fanaticism had declared war on the United States. Worse still they didn’t do this on behalf of a rogue country like Libya or some such. They weren’t a nation, they were a movement. So they could conceivably be anyone. That made them the worst kind of enemy to reach out and smack – the Invisible Menace! Now if you k now a little American History then you’ve heard that nothing puts the fizz in their Coca Cola like a good ole 5th Column Red Menace. So soon everyone was wondering what might be lurking where the reds under the beds used to be.

There was nothing in Al Capone’s vault but it wasn’t Geraldo’s fault, unless he knows something and he’s not saying!

The plot sickened. George W Bush‘s decisive but befuddled response to the crisis left everyone wondering if he really knew exactly what the fuck he was doing. Then and as people were asking themselves, and each other “exactly how the fuck could this have happened?“,  the stories started coming out – the CIA had been warned in advance that trouble was coming but dismissed the reports. Or they got lost in some bureaucratic haystack of misfiled paper work. Or the CIA had been tracking the terrorists but didn’t consider them a real threat. Or Dick Cheney told NORAD to stand down on the morning of 911 as plane # 2 was coming through – even though the USAF was poised to intercept. There were no clear and present answers and only 2 conclusions: either Bush &amp: Cheney were Col. Klink and Ubersargent Schultz, and running America like Luftstalag 13; or they were the Emperor & Darth Vader and totally in on the event. When given a choice between dishonesty and incompetence most reasonably suspicious people will go for dishonesty every day of the week and twice on Sunday! So that was America’s cue to stock up on tinfoil!

Don’t drink the cool aid; eat the crazy candy!

If I’d only bought aluminum futures 10 years ago then I’d be rich today. That stuff had to have topped out higher than gold at the rate people started wrapping up assorted half truths in it like so many rotten fish heads purloined out of the garbage of some person of interest. People like such as Alex Jones, David Icke, Fritz Springmeier (author of the most elaborate explanation in the world!), and others made full time jobs out of explaining the unexplainable. If you were into taking the red pills then these friendly neighborhood alarmists were your strangers with candy!

News from the dark side – The moon is made of green cheese and if you eat some you’ll flip out; cause it’s totally hallucinogenic!

As the audiences got larger the theories got wilder too. The Queen was a blood drinking child sacrificing Lizard Mother descended from Reptoids living at the center of the earth. 911 was predictive programming to pave the way for a full scale Illuminati world take over. George Bush and a coven of devil worshiping republicans (including Karl “Dr Evil” Rove and the aforementioned Dick Cheney) met yearly at Bohemian Grove not only to raise Cain but the ghost of Alasteir Crowley and channel him as their own personal Baphomet, so they could seek his guidance on how best to mismanage the world. The fact that the economy collapsed only added fuel to the speculation fire. More incompetence or is something really up? Maybe the Jews were so busy running Hollywood that they lost track of the hedge funds? Damn you Baron Rothschild! In short no theory was too crazy to fly if it could be propped up by no more than a half dozen half truths. Plus if you have Internet connection and a decent laptop you could get in on the act too! You could start a blog, backed up with a website, featuring podcasts. Pretty soon you might get a following. That could be your breakthrough into the exciting world of psudo-documentary film making! You’ get your name out there and maybe even earn enough to pay you internet service provider! In short it was a golden age of paranoia. & delusional thinking became a kind of cottage industry.

So is the CIA still monitoring your wet dreams these days?

Then something really dreadful happened. Barack Hussein Obama became the 44th President of the United States of America. I say it was horrible because the guy seems to know what he’s doing. Al Qaida got busted up. Wall Street got a house cleaning. Then the American Economy began creeping towards recovery. As life stabilized and returned to something resembling what it had been before people were once again ready to start making plans, focusing on goals, and using common sense. As people began staying calm and carrying on they lost their zest of alternative reality. Obama’s 2012 re election campaign slogan should’ve been “Are you less nuts then you were 4 years ago“. In fact many people became ashamed that they had ever actually taken any of that wild talk even half way seriously.Continuing conspiracy talk was a painful reminder of their monetary lapse in reason and they wanted the crack pots to go back on their meds already. The Mayan calendar anticlimax was like the last nail in the crazy coffin. Bad news for outlets like Al Jazeera, and murder for aspiring conspiracy theorists out there.

Quiet – the news bots are talking about celebridriods again!

The trouble with paranoia is that when you stir it up it doesn’t always go away right away. It’s fun and exciting. So people start putting all that excess neural energy into alternate theory making. Not the kind of  “How many national TV news anchors are really androids?” stuff. As I said that would be embarrassingly painful. So it may find a harmless outlet. That might mean stuff like celebrity gossip. Now people weren’t quite ready to return to the good ole “who’s gay?” typo of speculation. That would be too mundane for one thing. All those new and now idle neural pathways needed some more substantial food for thought. So lucky for you this is where Kristen Stewart comes in! Bon appetite!

So what if Romeo & Juliet had fangs?

Now for the half dozen or so who don’t know, perhaps because they were doing something actually worthwhile like delivering UNICEF packages to starving children on the other side of the planet; Kristen Stewart is a 22 year old actress who plays a vampire’s girlfriend in a long series of Twilight movies. Her boyfriend, in the films and in real life, is played by the Brit heart throb actor Robert Pattinson or RPatz as he is known to anyone not his friend. They play alienated teenagers who find gothy true love together in about 5 films that have become the Love Story or Titanic of today’s teenager. Now vampires and werewolves sound kinda campy but bear in mind that they coat tailed in on the Harry Potter craze, The Adams Family and the Munsters are too long ago to be really familiar to kids today, and that the past ten years have been some real crazy shit!

“My name is Bella Swann. I’m a high school student who’s boyfriend bites people. So in real life that would probably mean he’d have to be on medications.”

Like I said for several years Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and a half dozen Twilight movies were like the next biggest thing to full government disclosure on the UFO invasion. We were living in rough times and needed some kind of distraction. It’s what entertainers do and we love them for it (even if we sometimes hurt the ones we love). Basically people took this Twilight shit a bit more seriously than they should have. When the two popular young stars began seeing each other in real life people took to it like the second coming of Charles & Diana. Fandom practically had the pair married, living in a haunted house, and holding black masses together. When Kristy’s inevitable happy event would be declared the only question would be not “boy or girl?“, but “vampire or were wolf?” even though dating the same guy since you were seventeen and then marrying him at 22 isn’t even the American Dream in a trailer park. Still the whole teen opera kept movie goers on the edge of their seats and made some good coin. Now how could that possibly go wrong?

So next you’re gonna tell me Pam Anderson’s tits ain’t real!

Kristen was looking for a follow up from from Twilight and a new franchise reared it’s head in her direction. It was Snow White and the Huntsman. It was directed by a fellow named Rupert Saunders. he’s the most hated man in the Twilight Netherverse. You see basically while Kristy was enjoying her new found franchise and thinking to herself “How fucking lucky can I get?” she did something that shocked and disappointed her legions of Twilight True Believers. She committed an indiscretion with her director Mr Saunders. Now Kristen is a 22 year old woman working in an industry not known for monogamy or anything but in this case what she did was wrong for three reasons: Rupert wasn’t Robert Pattinson, he wasn’t even Taylor Lautner, and he was ( and currently still is) married. So her flirtation, though ordinarily the stuff of Sex and the City episodes or Cosmo articles, became a stake through the heart of vampire Santa Claus. Oh yeah and a whole new term – “trampire”  – got coined.

More shit than can fit in a tin foil hat!

Now that had everyone doing what they do when something unexpected happens – making shit up. This time the public had some new brain circuitry to work with too – let’s call it the Paranoia Switchboard. People began struggling to make sense out of Krity’s bizarre behavior so all kinds of wacko theories started circulating. They were theories like “Rob & Kristy were only pretending to be in love as part of a nefarious studio scheme to bilk the public out of money“, or “She was set up“, Some people thought that the photos had been manufactured by Photoshop. In fact it might even have been some plot by a rival studio to sink the franchise. You know what those deceitful bastards are like with their trick photography. Maybe the paparazzi even lured her into a compromising situation so that the could sell rags by getting everyone to misconstrue something that was really totally innocent anyway. Then there was the good ole reliable “It never happened” & “They’re gay“.

Let’s see Tila Tequila explain this one!

Now the pleasure of a good conspiracy theory is understandable. My only question is “why not go completely nuts?” For instance maybe Kristy is a MK Ultra mind controlled monarch slave and Rupert got to her with one of those sneaky little trigger phrases? Some innocent figure of speech like “I don’t bite” might have had the bells and lights in Kristy’s head going off until she couldn’t remember the difference between “Robert” & “Rupert“. The names are so similar, and especially when you’re in a trance induced dissociative state, that a girl can become confused! Besides Kristy has to be Illuminati. For one thing Stewart is a very old an revered occult bloodline name. It goes right back to the day when Scottish wizard King James 1 embedded satanic messages into the protestant Bible. In fact James Stewart was the guy who invented backward masking. If you don’t believe me then just say the Lord’s Prayer backwards and see what happens!

It makes sense if you think about it a little after sniffing a lot of glue.

For that matter the girl in the picture might not have even been the real Kristen Stewart. Since Kristy is undoubtedly Illuminati then she was probably a twin. The occult world loves twins and often artificially induces them by injecting expectant mothers with enzymes (code named “witch’s brew“, and not to be confused with “witches’ brew” which causes autism). Some where along the line the other Kristen Stewart escaped from the freedom train. Then years later showed up and decided to wreak her terrible revenge by getting herself mistaken for her famous and favored sister in that infamous picture. So there you have it – this is obviously an “evil twin” scenario! Of course Kristen couldn’t explain. For one thing she probably doesn’t know about her evil twin. Being the innocent girl she is when she saw those pictures in the paper she just assumed that it must be her because who else could it be? If she couldn’t remember the incident, it’s because missing time is no big deal for a young woman with her background. Besides she probably believes everything she reads in the entertainments rags, like for instance she’s in love with RPatz!

Coming Soon – Twilight: Awakening! Thank you Kristen Stewart (and that includes your evil twin too *wink wink*).

Upshot is that this whole thing might be going a little too far. Stewart didn’t toss a baby off of a cliff, or an old woman under a bus. She’s a 22 year old actress who slept with her director. I hear that sort of thing happens in Hollywood from time to time. Her major sin was not sticking with the same guy since when was 17. That is something that happens almost nowhere in modern American, not even in Hollywood. Does she deserve a break? I don’t know that. It’s a question for hysterical and paranoid movie goers to decide. I can only say one thing personally “Kristen Stewart, thank you for keeping the conspiracy alive!” I just hope this whole thing doesn’t do to The Vampire Diaries what Pres Obama did to the conspiracy movement.

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Jennifer Aniston pregnant?

Is Jennifer Aniston pregnant? According to Star mag she is cause they put it right out there on their cover, with no question marks to qualify it! Read more @ Jennifer Aniston “Pregnant” For Real?

Is Jennifer Aniston pregnant? She is if supermarket tabloids canb be believed

Aniston may, or may not, be pregnaqnt but others, like Scarlett Johansson, are still trying ot get lucky! In Scarlett’s case she’s trying with the help of an eye catching and discreetly placed tattoo!

with jennifer anioston pregnant others like scarlett johansson are still trying to get lucky, sometimes with the help of eyecatching and discreetly placed tattoos

So congrats to Jen on finally getting knocked up – allegedly.

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A Brief History of Paranoia

Coming Soon to the National Enquirer – Cher Sex Cult Shocker

Cher, a sex cult, & brainwashing!

It’s been awhile since we heard from Cher – however never fear because she’s back again in this week’s National Enquirer with a story that should put Diana Napolis into overdrive! According to their titillating headline the Oscar winning actress singer is involved in some kind of sex cult (is there any other kind?). This sex cult is heady stuff too. It’s not your good old fashioned friendly 60’s orgy where kids freaked out squares by experimenting with drugs and oral sex. The headline is promising the full MK Ultra trip with torture and abuse, not to mention brainwashing! Now you can’t have sex and torture without brainwashing because apparently the most direct way into any one’s head is between their legs. The NE also mentions “shocking secrets” but no word if the shock involves the usual electric cattle prods that sometimes get used in these ritual sex brainwashing cults. So this one is a “must read”!

Good Wholesome Fun & Other Figures of Speech

Now if you can’t read the Enquirer to find out about Cher’s pervy secret sex life, then at least pick it up to find out about Joe Simpson’s startling gay confession! He’s got a toyboy half his age & the former pastor’s wife has sued for divorce. So I guess he was telling the truth when he said those erotic pix he took of daughter Jessica and posted on line were just good wholesome fun! At the time people figured he was way too interested in photography & especially when his own scantily clad daughter was the subject. Now we know that Papa Joe just don’t swing that way. Plus when he referred to his daughter’s “assets” as “those suckers” it was just a colorful figure of speech! People must be so ashamed of themselves for having misjudged that situation, & jumping to the wrong conclusions! BTW Jessica might be devastated, but will probably soon get over it if she can figure out how to parlay this into a ‘gay following’ & possibly even ‘icon status’.

9 out of 10 people think OJ was guilty – they just couldn’t find those 10 for the jury

Then there’s also OJ Simpson‘s secret hit list. Now just because it’s a secret doesn’t mean that you can’t read about it in the Enquirer – cause that’s Pulitzer Prize nominated journalism for you! OJ was once one of America’s most beloved sports hero’s, but since the mysterious demise of his ex wife Nicole Brown and her friend Ron Goldman he’s become the biggest creep since Richard M Nixon!

Isn’t it possible that our client couldn’t possibly be guilty?

Now OJ was found “not guilty” in a court of law, just like Casey Anthony. That didn’t convince anyone of his innocence. Most seemed to think that the verdict was confirmation that the American Justice system was just as bad as the media said (& they say it’s almost as bad as the American Public Education System that keeps the justice system in business and the jails full – which is not the fault of the teachers, the government, or the students – so someone’s not being straight!), and that jury duty was for people too stupid to get out of it, or who had nothing better to do – 12 suckers good and true! So naturally when they ran up against OJ’s legal dream team they didn’t know what hit them. Reasonable doubt struck them between the eyes so hard that if you asked them what city they were in they probably couldn’t swear to it. “Can you be sure that you’re not asleep somewhere else and only dreaming you’re here? Then our client couldn’t have possibly done it!” Or this is how many seemed to see it.

American Gothic

By the time the trail was over everyone saw OJ as the man who got away with murder. That is until he eventually got busted for some kind of kidnapping armed hold up beef. People thought that had been a long time coming. They also saw him as some kind of mad dog throbbing with homicidal rage and waiting to go off like a ticking time bomb. Allegedly fathering a Kardashian didn’t help his public image any either. It did manage to dredge up a 90’s story into something resembling relevance. So OJ’s long awaited hit list is finally making it’s tabloid appearance. So if you’re feeling nostalgic for the days of grunge and “edgy” FOX TV comedies then you might want to check that out! The Enquirer doesn’t answer the question of  “what pool did they select that OJ jury from” – but Wondertrash might shed some light on that! Just take a look at the picture below!

after oj simpson's aquittal people were wonder from what pool of duds and rogues the jury was drawn from

they helped lionel hutz save Homer simpson from eternal damnation, even though he was as guilty as sin; but would they have been guilable enough to aquit OJ?

So read the Enquirer but remember that what you can’t find in the Enquirer you can get right here where the whole Celebrity Rogue’s Gallery is the specialty!

Coming Soon To Wondertrash – Super Hero Work Outs!

Superheroes, like celebrities, are usually unusually good looking. It’s a kind of job requirement – people look up to them so they can’t afford to look ridiculous while wearing their underwear on the outside. So that means in addition to the gifts God, or their animator, gave them like straight white teeth, chiseled features, and strong jaw lines, they’ve also got to boast buffed bods for their latex fetish wear.

As celebs can tell you fitness doesn’t come with out a price. Many times that price is a check payable to their friendly neighborhood plastic surgeon. Other times the price has a more personal cost, like effort and sacrifice. So that means diet & exercise can be essential if you wanna stay so good looking it’s criminal.

Red Kryptonite Ain’t Bull

Not surprisingly superheroes have their little beauty and fitness secrets. Batman does a particularly grueling version of Pilates down in the bat cave, when he’s not chasing the Joker of flirting with Catwoman. Spiderman has his own bizarre version of calisthenics that involves rigidly holding the same position for hours while hanging from a web. Superman’s body doesn’t respond well to exercise, which is a kind of side effect of his invulnerability. His body is a kind of immoveable force that can’t be harmed by bullets or helped by push ups (let’s face it when you’re that powerful you’ve got a hard time finding the right resistance level to work with). He has found a chemical method to keep in shape though, and has been secretly addicted to Red Kryptonite for years (It’s the real reason his marriage to Lois Lane broke up – though DC Comics will never reveal that. They’re totally invested in protecting his good guy image and afraid of him turning into another Hulk Hogan!).

wriggling around with Wonder Woman!

Many superhero health secrets are stuff ordinary people can’t use, unless you have access to Batcave, can spin you’re own webs, or have access to a reliable supply of Red Kryptonite (& be careful buying that stuff on the street because about half the time it’s mixed with meth!). The good news is that most superheroes have health and fitness regimes that are remarkably down to earth and practical. It’s stuff that anyone can do, even if they don’t have special powers and only aspire to looking good in skin tight clothes! So Wondertrash is working on a special interest article which will reveal which superheroes do what – who lifts weight, practices tai chi & yoga (hint – flexibility helps a super heroine in distress slip out of bondage situations!), who’s a vegan, and who’s full tilt Atkin’s Diet! So be prepared for some surprises!

super heros ahve many beauty and fitness secrets, like Superman's red kryptonite addiction
Amazon Yoga with Wonder Woman: a gentle yet surprisingly challenging way to stay flexible and strong plus “It helps me to stay loose in a tight spot!”

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Lohan mother daughter fist fight update

Lohan Family Values

A little while ago Lindsay Lohan and mother of the year Dina got into an “altercation” while taking a limo ride in Long Island. The cops got called on that cause Lindsay phoned her dad Michael and Mikey phoned the cops. I believe that he also recorded the phone call. You could call that “Lohan Family Values” but if you had to deal with Dina you might record your phone calls to, just to be on the safe side.

So what was the big brouhaha over? Seems that Dina’s long island home was about to go into foreclosure and Dina worked out a deal to keep a roof over her head. ‘Worked out a deal’ means that she got Lindsay to give JP Morgan Chase Manhattan some money on her mother’s behalf.

Well and good except that Dina fell behind again and made another trip to the well. This time devoted aughter Lindsay forked up about $40 000 to help keep her mom from getting put out on the street. It was the 40 thou mother and daughter were arguing about when the pair came to blows. Rumour has it that Dina’s made plenty of other ‘withdraws’ on her daughter including college tuition for Lindz brother and being Dina who knows what else.

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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