Jesse James Engaged

They used to say romance was dead – now it’s time to put it out of it’s misery! from Sandra Bullock to Bombshell Magee seems something like a tragedy. Things have gotten even more tragic for Jesse James recently. Since fucking up his A List marriage JJ has gone on from Bullock to Magee and is currently seeing Kat von D (real name: Katherine von Drachenberg). Von D is the reality TV tattoo artist who got into a little but of shit by going Mel Gibson on her former boss. Her boss is of the Jewish persuasion and during some sort of office spat Kat left the fellow an autographed picture of herself complete with the phrase “Rot in hell Jew boy“. Kat of course denied the incident and went on to claim that the guy set her up, explaining that – ‘you know what those Jews are like‘. Actually that last bit is a joke. Kat never said that part; but she might as well have, since you know what von D is like!

“Hey Jesse – set up the camera and come lick the maggots out of my twat!”

Anyhow James and Von D have recently taken their arrangement to the next level – by announcing that their tying the knot. They’ve probably been tying each other in knots for a while now, since Jesse has an avid interest in fetish sex. His ex Janine Lindmueller and Bombshell “I’m so proud my kids are white” Magee can b seen featured on any number of fringe sex websites rolling around in dog shit, covered in vomit, etc. It’s basically stuff too raw and rancid even to be shown or linked here. So you can just imagine how nasty their sex life is.

I’m the luckiest MoFo in the world!

So what is meant by tying the knot in this case is that they’re making their scuzzy skeevy love official. Von D announced the impending nuptials on her Twitter account recently, tweeting that “I guess the ‘kat’ is outta the bag, eh? Thank you for all the wonderful, loving congratulations from you all. Overwhelmed with joy right now!” In Hollywood you just don’t get more official than Twitter! In this case the whole sordid romance played out via that medium as the gruesome twosome exchanged terns of endearment and other sweet nothing with each other, and the rest of the world. Terms of endearment mean stuff like this:

James: “I would like to be with you at this time. Even if only it could take your hand, as that first night.

Earlier in the month: “I have never felt so loved! I’m the luckiest MoFo in the world! 48 hours away from you feels like a year…you will never be anything but beautiful to me.

Considering that this time last year he was accompanying Sandra Bullock to the Oscars, calling himself the luckiest MoFo in the world has got to be a case of seeing the glass as half full. Maybe it’s just a half truth, since no one would argue with the mofo part of the statement!

lust in the dust in 140 characters or less

Just think of how lucky we are the Twitter has a 140 character limited. Not only does is put the brake son Jesse & Kat’s public displays of gross out romance, but Jesse surely would’ve spelled MoFo right out, if he didn’t have to consider the posting limit. That still leaves the question open of how low these two are gonna go as they plumb the deaths of depravity for fun and profit. The answer to that question will probably be answered when they release they honeymoon sex video as a prelude to their reality TV deal. On the other hand, KVD recently tweeted, or something, that “I think our relationship has matured so much and matures every day and grows. I am not ashamed of anything. I am really excited about it. Everyday we grow stronger.” So maybe going into things by faking the right attitude counts for something. Besides – she was clearly telling the truth when she said she’s not ashamed of anything.

Wondertrash – the anti terror blog

only you can help us fight celebrity terrorism!

A useless man throwing himself away on a worthless woman may seem like a tragedy – or merely a waste of oxygen and public attention, but putting this events into proportion can help us deal with these kind of outrages. For one thing worse things have happened to better people. While you can question “What could be worse than either of these two marrying anyone, let alone each other?“; no one can question that there are better people. In fact you could probably find more outstanding examples of humanity in the sex offender wing of your local prison, or at an Al Qaeda meeting! I added that last part because some of our regular readers are from Homeland Security. You’ve got to be careful what you say online or the big boys will get right on your ass! Now Wondertrash definitely plays for the home team; but our war on terror concentrates more on celebrity terrorism.

George Clooney helps fill Larry King’s hole – gets infected!

Terrible mercy riots

Now one of those better people that worse stuff has happened to would be George Clooney. Clooney was in Sudan earlier: either scouting out film locations, genuinely trying to do something for his fellow man, or just trying to show that Angelina Jolie doesn’t have a monopoly on sanctimonious hype, when a mosquito bit him. It not only bit him but left him something to remember him by – malaria. Clooney made this revelation recently on Piers Morgan’s new show. So if this teaches us anything – in addition to get your shots before you leave the country – it’s than CNN is really really serious about filling the Larry King hole. As for Clooney he shouldn’t worry too much – about half of Hollywood is carrying around way worse bugs than that!

BTW don’t be too concerned about Homeland Security’s occasional presence on this site. They’re not tracking visitors for anti celebrity, and therefore possibly anti American sentiments. So we’re not on any official shit list – unless some of Ricky Gervais’ powerful new enemies got in touch with their powerful Washington friends to complain about this blog’s support of his Golden Globe routine. (“Remember when we got the President elected? Now you owe us a favour!Oprah Winfrey Network, or OWN, rearranges nicely into NWO. Think about it!)

The HS boys are just doing what so many civil servants do – surfing for porno at work when they’re supposed to be doing their job! Now I could say that this is an example of how American tax dollars are being wasted, but I prefer to look at the positive side of it. In that sense they have much in common with the Muslim world. Many of our visitors are from the Middle East, and have found their way here by web searching “Brittney Spears private parts” etc. The search terms are often misspelled – so the kind of arrive by accident, like Columbus when he discovered America by mistaking it for India. Anyhow the important thing to remember is that repressed Middle Eastern Islamic extremists and middle aged ivy league frat boys have way more in common then they think – like Miranda Kerr’s camel toe! On behalf of the blog let me just say ‘Thank you Miranda for your part, in helping keep the world together!

Gigitty gigitty goo – another cat out of the bag!

PS – fanboys may be interested to know the the new Catwoman has finally been named and it’s Anne Hathaway. Now Anne one gorgeous chick, though her talent and professionalism have some what eclipsed her natural hotness! This role may remedy that. one she’s seen in her latex catsuit the fetish community will probably freak the fuck out! In fact look for funky smelling weirdos to be walking funny for the first month or two. While Anne would make a fantastic Catwoman, I always had her pegged more as Hawkgirl!

Now here’s a music video dedication to the fair Ms. Hathaway in honor of her new role – Jethro Tull’s Strip Cartoon. Look forward to seeing you in your textured rubber rain gear playing in shades of gray, in your black & white strip cartoon.


English woman hit by lightning – nervous bystanders hope for the best

Is it the wedding of the millennium again already? title is a little misleading. The woman hasn’t been struck by lightening. Lightening sounds so sudden and this has been coming on for about 8 years now. That’s because the lady in question is Katherine “Waity Katy” Middleton, and the lightening came in the form of a formal proposal from her beau Prince William. The proposal is for a position that no woman over the age of 30 – and old enough to remember the last next queen of England – would take on a dare! William has asked Kate to do him the very great honour of allowing him to make her the most famous woman on Earth.

waity late – better Kate than never

The pair have been hangin’ out together for longer – it seems – than Sam & Diane on Cheers, or that other couple on Wings – only without the entertaining romantic tension of personal jabs. Prince William did have other things to do – like stay out of Afghanistan, and find gainful employment as a search and rescue helicopter pilot in North Wales (woo – a real job. Something to fall back on in case the honours List falls through. It’s good for a celebrity to have a back up plan involving useful work, just in case they lose their super powers!). He also occasionally attended benefits in honour of his late mother Diana. That left Kate proving her commitment to duty by quietly biding her time (and allegedly having rivals quietly killed on the side – kidding! But seriously, anyone seen any of those young women from S Club 7 lately? I’m just sayin’, that’s all. I’m sure that there’s nothing to the rumours about them currently helping support the cement foundation blocks in a North Sea oil rig. Badda-bing!). Well congratulations Katie – I guess; cause you’ve passed the test.

“Oh Will, I’m happier than Bella Swan was when that horrible monster fell in love with her!”

While the Brit press was speculating whether or not Wills was gonna shit or get off of the pot; the sneaky lad quietly informed his nearest and dearest – that pack of leathery old reptilians who look like Monty Burns from the Simpson and are otherwise known as The Royal Family, that this was it. He then went on to ask Master Middleton whether or not he might have the honour of his daughter’s hand in marriage – with dibs on the rest of her if the spirit should so move him. Middleton is no fool so he said yes. It was probably a rhetorical question anyway. With that the wedding is one for spring or summer next year – according to Clarence House. Clarence House is the palace office that handles the Prince’s business, and not the name of the character that Hugh Laurie plays on TV. William presented Kate with the very ring his late mother wore for her own engagement.

Ring a ding ding!

The Lady Di ring thing must’ve made Kate’s hair stand on end, or at least put a chill down her spine. Things didn’t work out so well for the late and lamented Diana Spencer after she got herself royaled up. Though it was touted as a story book wedding at the time, the show quickly turned into tabloid fodder. Diana went through more personal crises than 20 years of Oprah Winfrey might adequately cover. When she was either doing public appearance or freaking out she was taking her mind off of her troubles with flaky New Age pastimes like ‘colonics‘ (That’s when rich ladies who can’t crap have high pressure hoses inserted up their rectums and have jets of water shot up into their bowels. It’s supposed to loosen up everything that was quietly fermenting in there instead of following it’s natural life cycle out and down the toilet.) and ‘plastic surgery’. She also developed an interest in anorexia and bulimia along the way. When the marriage finally broke up, even Mother Theresa was relieved. Diana wasn’t to get off of the hook that easily, and things came to a head when she and her then lover Dodi Al Fayd were tragically killed in Paris during a high speed chase with paparazzi.

Run Kate – it’s a trap!!!

Hopefully things will work out better for Wills & Kate. For one thing Diana was a blue blood while Kate is a scrappy little commoner (who’s father owns a ruddy great factory or something equally unroyal. Remember that you can’t really buy class – not if you made your own money anyway, but you can marry into it!) . Random common folk are much hardier than tragic heroines.

why history won’t repeat it’s self again this time

We’ve learned more about the dangers of royal celebrity marriages since the untimely death of Princess Diana too. William has practically gotten kid glove treatment from the media compared to the ordeal that his late mother had to endure. Back in those bad old days paparazzi would steal Princess Diana’s stool and have it sniffed over by retired police dogs to get shit! So using a gas station rest room – or Going Britney as celebs call it – was more than she dared do! Also people will be genuinely surprised if the ambitious and hard headed Kate shows even one tenth of the style, personality, and charisma that the woman who’d have been her mother in law – had she lived – had. So she might escape misfortune on the basis of not being interesting enough to bother (there’s a lesson in there for the rest of us – if you can’t avoid attracting attention then at least have the good sense to be dull about it. That is unless your job is being Kanye West, in which case Go For It!). Very clever of Will to pick out a dull girl like that. Besides, it’s not like they’re rushing into anything – so that’s a good sign in it’s self.


Brandon Davis Is Not Dead

Lard Lad & Tubby Lady Killer Still Among the Living

Brandon Davis
is not dead. The story got started through a report on Fox news about an anonymous 26 year old who got killed in a gas station explosion. Blogs like Perezhilton were quick to go with this starting a Google trends overload on Brandon Davis dead searches. However the anonymous gas station victim was not Davis, but some poor unfortunate. AS far as anyone knows, the man known as Greasybear, and who christened Lindsay Lohan Firecrotch, is still very much alive.

who’s who

A little background for those unfamiliar with Davis – he’s the heir to a billion dollar oil fortune who isn’t bad looking when his glandular problems aren’t acting up. He’s also dated every young hottie in Hollywood from Mischa Barton to Lindsay Lohan – including Paris Hilton. He also got into some kind of bust up with Pink outside a LA nightclub over parking space. That got tweeted upon and Pink picked up some easy kudos for kicking Brandon in the buts or something. So if we’ve learned nothing else from Mr Davis it’s that you can make yourself more popular by picking on some one that no one likes! Getting killed in a gas station explosion might have seemed like the ideal end to his colorful career as a celebrity, however that sort of thing only happens in pulp fiction.

don’t go off half cocked

This is the latest in a long line of Dead on the Internet hoaxes that have taken in some very big names in media/blogging circles. If you’re too quick on the draw and not thorough enough in your fact checking you can get taken – no matter who you are. However there have been enough of these Internet pranks by now that any one would be cautious when they see the world dead beside the name of some fairly famous person. Remember that credibility doesn’t mean you’re right. Don’t believe it until it’s wondertrash!

Now here’s that FOX report that lead to the Brandon Davis Dead rumours that took in the likes of Perezhilton (now no longer the Internet’s top gossip blog), TMZ, & Radaronline!

That’s the trouble with FOX, even when they have their facts straight people still form the wrong conclusions. Now is that FOX’s fault??

My Chemical Romance – bleary eyed melodrama continues

BTW for those still keeping track Lindsay Lohan is out on bail. She was taken directly to jail, in handcuffs on Friday. This was for some sort of violation involving alcohol, cocaine, & Twitter. Twitter seems more like an error in judgement – however you can easily see how it could be classed as a violation when taken too far, as it usually is and especially when in the hands of celebrities. Now the official word was that Lohan wasn’t gonna be getting out this time because this wasn’t a sentencing, but a hold over for a parole violation. She’d have to punch in her 30 days until a new court date could be set.

red eyed theater

However Lohan’s lawyer did some nifty and nimble legal work and filed a write of Habius Corpus. Now that means Lohan’s right to due process had some how been violated. So with all the violations going on in both directions saner head thought that it would be better to get Lohan off their hands, like a hot potato. So they issued bail, that was promptly paid. As of now Lohan is cooling her heals in some rehab facility or another, awaiting her next high profile chemical indiscretion!

Now here’s a little music video dedication for Brandon, Lindsay, and all those other poor wretched celebrities from A List down to triple Z, who haven’t yet made the transition from tabloid fodder to pop culture legend by way of the usual route.


Is Lady Gaga a soul stealer?

More Gaga

Lady Gaga
has been accused of some weird shit, like being a hermaphrodite, being a bad influence, being a druggie, corrupting the youth of America, ripping off Madonna’s routine, and being a member of the Illuminati (according to Tila Tequila). Now she’s been accused of soul stealing. If she hasn’t exactly stolen some one’s sol then she is being accused of stealing their work and style.

Gaga used to work with a young Russian woman named Lina Morgana. Now Lina’s mother Yana has come out and claimed that Gaga ripped off Lina’s act – so that get’s Gaga off the hook with Madonna at least. According to Yana, her daughter Lina – who committed suicide – pioneered the act. Then Gaga turned around and ripped it off. She imitated everything from Lina dress style to her music.

Even worse Yana claims that gaga misappropriated Lina’s life. Gaga alsways claims to have had a dark and depressed upbringing. Ms Morgana points out that Gaga was raised pretty well off. Gaga even went to an elite Catholic girls school, where she was a class mate of Nicky Hilton. According to Morgana, Gaga had everything she wanted out of the world. It was her own daughter who was dark and depressed.

So the basis of Morgana’s complaint is that Gaga is using her daughter as the material for her own act. Worse still Gaga is doing this without crediting Lina. With that in mind Yana Morgana wants the rights to release some Gaga-Morgana material. That’s about 12 songs that the gals worked on together. Now with the right to release them comes also the right to cash in on them.

Soul stealing is a harsh term. Unless Gaga has been taking voodoo lessons from Angelina Jolie, this seems more like a case of some one ripping off borrowing from a former partner. In entertainment they do it all the time. It’s usually called inspiration, unless they get caught at it. Then it’s called a tribute. If this is an uncredited tribute then Gaga has done pretty good by it. SO why then shouldn’t Yana Morgana get a piece of the action. Her name is just as catchy as Gaga’s (another crucial link in the chain of evidence!), and her daughter is in the 12 videos! Family is family, but it’s funny how money usually has something to do with it.

don’t leave home without it – but know when to keep it in your pants!

In other news Divine Browne is getting married. Now if you don’t know who that is then just think Hugh Grant. Browne was the chick he got arrested with back when he got caught by LA’s finest getting a 40$ blow job in the back seat of a car. Grant tried explaining that one away by claiming that Browne was an old friend. that may be true – but the police suspected that he was seeing her in her professional capacity. So off to jail he went; and long enough for a nifty mug shot!

Well Hugh’s life and career went into a tailspin after that. His significant other Liz Hurley, walked out on him. This in spite of the fact that she’d been screwing Tom Sizemore (they met on the set of Passenger 51) long before Browne was ever heard of. Sizemore regarded seducing Hurley as a triumph, since he hated Grant. Tom says that during his wild animalistic sex with Hurley (that’s right, according to Sizemore, Hurley was a tiger in the sack!), he kept picturing Grant’s “smug handsome” face. That set most folk to wondering why Sizemore was thinking about a guy while he was doing a girl.

Since Hurley and Grant were a package deal sold to the American public as “high class sex” their split up was a career set back for Grant. His solicitation arrest didn’t do much for his shy Englishman image either. Anyway he was soon recast from Mickey Blue Eyes type roles, to ones where he played creepy cad types. He also starting flipping out at paparazzi on a regular basis. The was photoed trying to nail one annoying shutter bug with a can of baked beans (only in England!) – that story is in the Wondertrash archives. He then went on to kick another guy in the groin.

Hugh was a troubled man during that period. Then just when it looked like things had blown over, Divine Browne comes back out of the wood work. The former hooker has announced that she’s becoming an honest woman, and getting herself hitched up. Naturally she wants to invite Hugh. Understandable since Grant has done so much for her. More than the $40!

Since Browne’s brush with fame she’s pocketed almost 2 million in media deals. So she’s marrying as a rich woman. Since Grant made this possible it only seems right and good that a place be set for him amongst the wedding guests. Whether he’ll show or not is another matter. My advice – be a good sport, show up, and drink as much champagne as they’ll let you. After all, Hugh earned it!

Now for celebrity trivia purposes Hugh’s arrest number – s shown in the above mugshot – is BK4454813. The Illuminati will know exactly what that means (adds up to 32), and why Hugh is so unhappy about it. As for the rest of us, it makes a nifty computer password (not mine!). It also serves as a reminder that anyone can get into a little trouble with the law. Even the best of good guys.

Wonder Woman (1987) 220 - Batman - City - Police Car - Handcuffs - Pistol - J Jones

The above instance it might have had something to do with repeated cases of indecent exposure!

We can only hope that Wonder Woman has learned her lesson. However I fear that like Lindsay Lohan, Wonder Woman is incorrigible!

Wonder Woman is incorrigible!


Mel Gibson Soap Opera Continues

What do you give the man who has everything (& then some!)? A way out.

The Mel Gibson Soap Opera
continues with yet another heated row on audio tape. This time the bone of connection seems to be a baby sitter that Oksana found though her dentist. Mel to exception to the woman and called Oksana to bitterly complain about it. As usual the conversation found it’s way on to audio tape, and then on to the usual gossip sites. Perhaps Grigorieva regularly records all her phone conversations, possibly for quality assurance or something.

Anyway the conversation quickly moved on from the baby sitter, to Mel’s money, and finally to his contempt for Oksana. Mel has many choice words for Ms. Oksana, and out of the goodness of her heart she has shared them with the world and you can hear them in the following 6 minute video the runs from the disturbing to the slightly ridiculous.

Mel hath fury & the scorned woman

So poor Grigorieva has nothing because she’s given Mel everything – except a heart attack. That’s probably on the way. As for her liver and kidneys, let’s just hope that Mel doesn’t put in a legal claim since Oksana acknowledged Mel’s ownership of her innards!

Meanwhile Mean Mel’s people are rally for a public relations counter offensive. They claim that Mel has been in therapy, ie seeing a shrink, for over a year; basically since his split with Grievous Grigorieva! Apparently the scheming wench was only out after Mel’s money (well colour me shocked!). What’s more she was pushing Mel’s buttons in a way that he couldn’t handle. Says a pal: “wanted to figure out how to extricate himself from this unhealthy relationship peacefully and calmly. Which is what he did.” If that was the plan then I hope Mel can get a refund on that therapy cause it sure as Mel didn’t work!

celebrities rush in where angels fear to tread

In other news, most of which has been eclipsed by the Madness of Mel Gibson, Penelope Cruz has bravely decided to marry her none Scientology boyfriend Javier Bardem. No word on what possessed the couple – this recent Mel Gibson freakout must have ever semi committed couple wondering how much more committed they would dare to get.

Penny & Javi got married at a friend’s house down in the Bahamas. Penny wore a white (some nerve!) John Galliano dress, and carried a small extended usage mini recorder. Let’s wish them the very best of luck! Glad Penny finally got over Tom Cruise, Salma Hayak, and all her other publicity stunt relationships to settle in to something real-ish.

Sarah Palin makes a scary & intimidating mother in law!

Cruz & Bardem weren’t the only ones defying the odds lately. Bristol Palin, the controversial daughter of even more controversial mother Sarah, has announced that she’s marrying her baby daddy Levi Johnson! Well actually Bristol announced the engagement. She claims that she hasn’t worked up the nerve to tell mom yet cause she finds her ‘intimidating & scary‘, her words. That’s probably why she told the tabloids, and the world, before she let Sarah in on it. After the shit Levi said about the former Alaskan governor family dinner in that place could be like an episode of The Gibsons!

Levi’s acting career tanks, goes back to Plan B

However they’re wasting no time. The ceremony is planned for Alaska in about 6 weeks. So for everyone who sincerely hoped that Levi’s 15 minutes had played out, it looks like the enterprising lad has found a new ease on fame! You gotta play the cards your dealt. Would giving the couple his & hers tape recorders as wedding presents be in poor taste? It’s not like the ain’t gonna come in handy at some point in the not too distant future. until then, stay tuned!


Megan Fox Wedding PIctures

They’ve have and on again off again engagement for a while now but Megan Fox and her steady Brain Austin Green finally tied the knot. The official Megan Fox wedding pix are making the rounds too. For instance Entertainment Tonight showed some of them in their official Megan Fox Wedding coverage:

Now what they didn’t mention – ET is entertainment news, not gossip – is that Megan is rumoured to be pregnant, & that’s why the sudden marriage. My theory is that with her film career circling the drain – Jennifer’s Body & Jonah Hex , she’s clinging to Brian Austin Green for security. A switch from drama sci fi to romantic comedy might’ve been a wiser choice at her age.

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The Ghost of Megan’s Future

megan fox and long time boyfriend Brian austin green have tied the knot - they got married too

Megan Fox and long time boyfriend Brian Austin Green have recently tied the know, and wondertrash would like to be the first entertainment blog anywhere to post an exclusive picture of Ms. Fox from the wedding, complete with a bridal veil:

it megan fox or katie jordan price?

is Megan Fox Losing Face?

Doesn’t Megan make a lovely bride? Just kidding, that’s a picture of Katie Jordan Price, who also recently married her cage fighter boyfriend, Alex what ever his name is Reid. The freakish thing is that they are starting to resemble each other – Megan & Jordan I mean. Jordan and Alex can resemble each other too, but we’ll get into that later. Megan has had a bit too much retouch on her face, and is starting to lose the look America fell in love with. So Megger’s should pay some careful attention to the sorry plight of other celebs, and not let her insecurities get the better of her. Jordan might be “the ghost of Megan’s future”.

ORANGE ALERT! Jordan gets married, and sparks a riot

Speaking of insecure celebrities and marriage – Katie Jordan Price actually was married to Reid recently. The affair was an assortment of the usual suspects: paparazzi, bouncers & security, plus a who’s who of Great Britain’s most irrelevant celebrities; football player’s girlfriends, TV presenters, oh yeah and Emma Baby Spice Bunton! Danielle Lloyd was also on hand. She’s the Page 3 girl who wants to be just like Jordan when she grows up. She got started on that when she got into a vicious row at night club which resulted in her getting thrown through a glass table and then carted off to the emergency ward while leaving a trail of blood behind her. So the Katie Jordan Price Wedding Freakout might’ve been alarmingly familiar for her!

a plan came together but the shit hit the fan

When Katie showed up at St Paul’s Church in Woldingham to marry Alex Reid, the only man in the UK who would have her (he’s a cage fighter and has probably incurred some brain damage), she arrived in a replica of the A Team van. Whether or not she was trying to make some point about a plan coming together – the shit hit the fan as soon as she arrived.

makin’ her way the only way she knows how – that’s just a little more than the law will allow

The paparazzi trued to storm the van to get some advance pix of Ms Price in her wedding gear. Brit tabloids pay a ton for popular pix to post in their mags, & Katie dolled up for her nuptials would have to be a trash spectacle tough to top! So they got a little pushy. Katie’s personal security got a little pushy too, & that’s were the cops came into it! A Surrey Police spokesperson confirmed: ‘We have been advised of an alleged assault outside the church which we are currently looking in to.

D List is the new A List

It’s easy to poke fun at Katie: she’s trashy, over the top, always causing a fuss – Britain’s Anna Nicole Smith in other words. However she and Alex Reid might actually make a go of it. They’re both D List celebs, they both like kinky bondage sex (rumours are that Alex makes her wear a leather bondage mask during sex – Katie was even quite vocal about that once when she’d had too much to drink during a flight, and they even share the same taste in clothing!

marriage is a drag

Who wore it better? That’s a matter of taste I suppose, & neither one of them has mush of that. Let’s just wish those two crazy kids well – & let’s look forward to more trashy Jordan related news stories! Hopefully the pre nup has already been ironed out! They have to be clear about who gets the outfits in the event of a split!

“Hi, remember me? We met at the thing a few weeks back!” – faking it with phonies

BTW I was very briefly in contact with Ms. Price via e mail on the subject of her wedding (I think she thought I was somebody or something – just e mail a celeb an act like you know them and sometimes you get a response – for instance I was once briefly in contact – via email – with Milla Jovovich. My intro was telling her I’d been briefly chatting with her at an LA art exhibit. Of course I completely overplayed it when I told her that she had been stoned out of her head, described the exhibit as “fucking awesome“, and that I’d been so embarrassed for poor Paul Anderson. Celebs meet so many people, most of whom they have to stay on the good side off, that they’re sometimes unsure if you’re some one they can afford to tell to go piss off or not). When asked some basic questions about her marriage & future, Price responded that she is still eager to play Wonder Woman in the still contemplated movie based on the comic book character! Now that couldn’t be any worse than the new Wonder Woman 600 reboot that’s just been issued!

BTW wondertrash would like to wish our American readers a wonderful 4th of July! So go on a trash it up for the 4rth!


Rehab Romance Rebound

Matches and gasoline: together again!

Believe it or not, it’s being reported that troubled singer Amy Winehouse, and her troublesome ex Blake Civil-Fielder have had a ‘commitment ceremony’. Though some think that they’d be better off being committed to an institution, the pair are said to have had some sort of a ritual, involving vague promises and rambling vows sometime during Christmas. The proceedings took place near the rehab center where Blakie is currently being held.

While most folk aren’t surprised by anything Winehouse might do (except pull herself together), this one is an eyebrow raiser, even on the Winehouse scale. Not only has Blakie admited to being the one who got her hooked on drugs, and who almost accidentally killed her by way of an over dose; but he also got hooked up with another woman during one of his numerous rehab stints. That resulted in a pregnancy, and more Civil-Fielder DNA floating around in the gene pool. It’s enough to undermine your faith in Charles Darwin – “What natural selection?” If Amy is prepared to over look that, then let’s the rest of us hope that Blake’s rehab love child got what ever good genes might have been available in that pairing up.


Madonna Never Learns

Madonna has had a colourful personal life. Her marriage to Sean Penn gave the tabloids a field day. Whenever they were out together and a paparazzo looked at them the wrong way Sean went off. The whole thing ended when Sean supposedly ‘took her hostage’: that is he tied her up nude and left her on the bed. Though gagged, Madonna some how managed to speak. She convinced Sean to let her go with the promise of a sexy massage. Once free she lit out to the neighbors to call the cops.

After that fiasco of a relationship it took Madge a while to work up her courage enough to take the plunge again. When she did it was with director Guy Richie. Madonna made an effort from the beginning by moving to Britain, insisting that she be called Mrs. Richie, and getting preggo. However her forceful personality soon began to grate on her new husband as she tried to program every aspect of their lives, including what he ate, and probably when and for how long he went to the washroom. Their joint involvement in Kaballah made the relationship look ridiculous, as Madonna even briefly insisted that she be called “Ester” – her kaballah name. Not surprisingly the marriage ended with a bang instread of a whimper. Richie looked relieved when it was over, though.

So you’d think that the Material Girl would be reluctant to get back into the marriage game again. She did go out and get her self a Brazilian toy boy by the name of Jesus Luz. By all accounts she treated him like staff. He had to service her sexually, and make himself available – as if on call. Sources close to Madge claim that she even told Luz whom he could and couldn’t talk to on the cell phone she provided him with, and when he could talk to them.

It’s not news that Madonna is bossy. So she doesn’t do relationships well. She needs clearly defined roles of dominance and subservience. That way she knows where she stands. The Jesus thing seemed like it might work out since Madonna was clearly in charge, and Luz was basically a hired gun. There were no illusions of love and romance to fuzz up the good ole dirty sex. So that’s what makes the latest announce from Madonna World so astonishing. Madge says that she’s planning to marry Jesus! At the MTV Video Music Awards rehearsals she revealed, ‘It can go either way,’ she said. ‘But why not? I could definitely see myself marrying him. Yes, it’s definitely on the table.’ So now the $64 000 question is “what’s gotten into her?”

‘She knows that’s what Jesus wants,’ said one of her relatives. ‘And so that makes her want it too. She has a lot of wonderful memories of both of her weddings. She doesn’t want to slip off and do it quietly. She definitely wants a big and rather fantastic affair.’ Since we all know how much Madonna cares about the feelings of others it leaves us asking “what’s the real reason?” Another source close to Madge has a theory that they shared with Hello Magazine. According to the unnamed source Madonna was pretty shook up by the death of Michael Jackson. She figures that if he could die, then it might happen to her too! ‘To be candid, it’s what’s driving things,’ the insider told Hello! magazine. ‘And after what she saw happen to Michael Jackson she doesn’t want to waste any time. She wants to live life to the full.’ Now that only leaves us asking “How long until history repeats it’s self?”


Heidi and Seal do it in again, & in style

Singer Seal and model Heidi Klum have renewed their vows in what could be described as a unique commitment ceremony. Spectators at Malibu’s Broad Beach on Saturday were treated to a wold spectacle as the couple participated in a ‘Trailer trash’ style ceremony. By trailer trash I mean they had the whole 9 yards – pink flamingos, patio lanterns, Seal in a mullet and Heidi in tons of sequins, and an Elvis impersonator in attendance! As for Seal, he was prepared for something like this. On a recent Oprah episode in reference to the ceremony he said “You know my wife, she always has some trick up her sleeve!” She’s starting to sound like tons of fun. Best of luck, you crazy kids!

More trashtastic Trailer Park Boys episodes @ Blinx

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