Pyramid Power for/from the Stars

Pyramid power & culture clutter

With Nic Cage going even further off his unstable head recently, and building a monument to debt and a defunct career – namely the 9 foot pyramid shaped mausoleum that he recently build; I couldn’t help wondering if there might be something to his crazy ideas. It seems that the whole idea of walling the dead up in huge escape proof fortresses is a 5000 year old idea.

Egomania and the mathematics of cultural impact

The idea began in ancient Egypt. The pharaohs were kings who were worshiped as gods during their own lifetimes. Think of them as Elvis Presely x Michael Jackson to the power of Brangelina! They were the like Tyrannosaurus Rex among their race.

as good as dead

Naturally when these bastards died the people wanted to make sure that they stayed dead. Their heirs wanted to make sure even more. So an elaborate disemboweling and mummification process was carried out just to make sure. Then, in case there was a glimmer of life life in them, the ex pharaohs’ were then bound & gagged tight from head to foot in thick swabs. That ought’a hold them! If it didn’t then they were then walled up in one of these giant pyramids. The insides were nearly unnegotiable labyrinths, and the doors were hidden so that the vengeful prisoner might not find his way out. Short of sending them to a far off corner of the galaxy and then obliterating them with H bombs, it’s an excellent way of dealing with troublesome people.

Pop-sicles and god complexes

Ancient pharaohs were much like our modern celebrities. So I think we can relate to what terrors the ancient Egyptians must have felt, and also their desire to make sure that when the beast was dead, it stayed that way. Our modern celebrities are a great burden to our culture. They demand stacks of cash, constant and universal attention, and feel entitled to share a piece of their mind on any subject of which they unqualified to talk and without warning. Worse still, faced with the prospect of eventual death they’ve tried everything they could think of to short circuit the natural processes. They get surgery, hormone injections, meditate, take pills, take vitamins, stop eating meat, sleep in hyperbaric chambers, and arrange to be preserved in liquid nitrogen, like celebsicles. In other words they want to grace us with their presence indefinitely, if not longer. When some do finally shuffle off the mortal coil, usually long after out staying their welcome, they come back to haunt us in TV syndication, or in commercials!

pyramid scheme

So if Nic Cage wants to by buried in a 9 foot pyramid, I say excellent. In fact why not make it a 25 to 50 foot pyramid. Better to be safe then sorry, and especially when celebrities are involved. This might even become a possible business enterprise for some altruistic minded soul who wants to make a lot of money and a positive difference for the human race. They – whomever that person might be, could go into business selling pyramid designed burial traps to celebrities. It should be something completely escape proof, so that the world need never fear about being terrorized by these demon driven personalities once they have parted way with the material plane. With that in mind here’s a little video on the theory behind pyramids. Enjoy!

http://www.livevideo.com/flvplayer/embed/3917AFBAE0CD425FA684A1F2352D3A1B&autoStart=0
The Pyramid Code (2009) – Episode One: The Band of Peace

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Janice Dickinson takes aim at Jesse James

So far Jesse James slut count is up to 3 officially and 11 unofficially. 2 other heavily tattooed porno types have come out and claimed that they also have had affairs with Sandra Bullock’s husband. By affairs I mean they say that Vanilla Gorilla packed the ass off of them. So this stroy has already become a magnet for unstable types seeking publicity. Why Janice Dickinson herself recently commented on the whole sad state of Sandra’s marriage recently on The Wendy Williams Show. Janice wanted to do Chelsea Lately but Handler won’t have her.

Those are strong words from a woman only a few cheap tats away from being in Jesse James’ harem herself. If you need a little reminder of just what Hurricane Janice is capable of then just take a look at the following shocking video of recovered alcoholic Janice Dickinson’s drunk outburst at the paparazzi!

Liberal libel – DFamed!
I am sorry you had to witness that – no I’m not or I wouldn’t have posted it. Janice is an easy target since no one has to worry about being sued by her. For one thing she has a very liberal view on libel. You can tell by what she says about others. More over Janice gives her definition of ‘defamation’, sort of, in the following ‘court TV’ clip.
I didn’t defame him! I just called him a useless drunk.

This whole Sandra Bullock brouhaha will blow over just as soon as the next major celebrity fucks up, or the next minor one fucks up really bad. So if you are a gossip writer, whether professional or an amateur hobbyist, you have to be grateful to Janice Dickinson. It’s nice to know that she’s there for slow news days!

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Combat Barbie

Please let me segue that opening into a punchline

Now Combat Barbies it’s Combat Baby by Metric.

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Help Stop Glenn Beck

If you’re as sick of former rodeo clown and Vick’s Inhaler addict Glenn Beck (Actually it’s Vick’s Vapor Rub, and he puts it directly under his eyelids so it’ll work quicker!) as everyone else then here’s your chance to stop him. Bellow are a list of companies who are boycotting sponsor of the Glen Beck Show. You can stop Beck by supporting them!

Dropped Sponsors

Total number of companies that refuse to have ads run on Glenn Beck: 102!

The boycott is working: It is being reported that the Glenn Beck show is losing more than 50% of its weekly ad revenue as a result of this boycott. Keep it up!

It also appears that Fox News has been left with unsold airtime on Glenn Beck’s show!

To date (02/08/10), here is the full list of sponsors that have pulled ads from the Glenn Beck Program:

  • Aegon (added 9/14/09)
  • Airmiles.co.uk (added 10/20/09)
  • Allergan (added 8/17/09)
  • Ally Bank/GMAC Financial Services (added 8/17/09)
  • Alpro Soya (added 01/11/10) (statement)
  • AmMed Direct (added 10/6/09)
  • Ancestry.com (added 8/24/09)
  • Applebee’s (added 8/27/09)
  • Ashley Furniture (added 8/28/09)
  • AT&T (added 8/24/09)
  • Bank of America (added 8/25/09)
  • Bell & Howell (added 8/27/09)
  • Best Buy (added 8/17/09)
  • Best Western (added 2/5/10) (statement)
  • Binder & Binder (added 9/2/09)
  • Blaine Labs (anti-fungal & scar treatments) (added 8/24/09)
  • Brez (anti-snoring strips) by Airware Inc. (added 8/21/09)
  • British Airways (added 12/14/09)
  • Broadview Security (added 8/17/09)
  • Campbell’s Soup Co. (added 8/24/09)
  • Capital One (added 9/2/09)
  • Citrix Online (added 10/6/09)
  • Clorox (added 8/23/09)
  • Closing.com (Closing Corp.) (added 8/28/09) (read statement here)
  • Concord Music Group (added 10/6/09)
  • CVS (added 8/17/09)
  • Dannon Co. (added 9/2/09)
  • Diageo (Guinness, Cuervo, Baileys’, etc) (added 10/5/09)
  • DirecTV (added 8/27/09)
  • Discover (added 9/2/09)
  • DITECH (added 8/24/09)
  • EggLands Best (added 9/21/09)
  • Elations Co. (added 8/24/09)
  • Equifax (added 10/6/09)
  • Eulactol USA (maker of Flexitol) (added 10/6/09)
  • Farmers Insurance Group
  • FreeCreditReport.com/Experian (added 8/24/09)
  • GEICO
  • General Mills (added 8/27/09)
  • GetARoom.com (added 10/6/09)
  • GlaxoSmithKline (added 1/12/10) (statement)
  • Healthy Choice (owned by CongAgra)
  • History Channel (added 11/11/09)
  • Hoffman La Roche (maker of Boniva) (added 10/6/09)
  • Honda (added 1/31/10) (statement)
  • HSBC (added 9/2/09)
  • Humana (added 9/14/09)
  • ICAN Benefit Group Insurance (added 9/2/09)
  • Infiniti (added 9/2/09)
  • ING DIRECT (added 01/07/09) (statement)
  • Jack Daniels (added 12/28/09)
  • Jelmar (CLR cleaner manufacturer) (added 9/2/09)
  • Johnson & Johnson (added 8/24/09)
  • Jordan McKenna Debt Counseling Network (added 9/2/09)
  • KRAFT Foods (added 8/20/09) (read statement here)
  • KRAFT Foods (UK) (added 11/13/09)
  • Lawyers.com (owned by LexisNexis)
  • Lowe’s (added 8/24/09)
  • Luxottica Retail (parent company of Pearle & LensCrafters) (added 9/14/09)
  • Mars (maker of Snickers, M&Ms, Pedigree, etc..) (added 10/20/09) (read statement here)
  • Men’s Wearhouse
  • Mercedes-Benz (added 9/2/09)
  • Metropolitan Talent Management (added 10/6/09)***
  • Natwest (UK) (added 12/11/09)
  • Nestle (added 11/23/09)
  • NutriSystem (added 8/24/09)
  • ooVoo (added 10/6/09)
  • Overture Films (added 10/6/09)
  • Premier Foods (UK) (added 11/18/09)
  • Premier Inn (UK) (added 12/20/09)
  • Procter & Gamble
  • Progressive Insurance
  • PUIG Beauty (added 12/14/09)
  • Radio Shack
  • Re-Bath (added 8/17/09)
  • Reckitt Benckiser (UK) (added 12/04/09)
  • Regions Financial Corporation (added 8/27/09)
  • Roche *
  • S.C. Johnson
  • SAM (Store and Move) (added 8/27/09)
  • Sanofi-Aventis
  • Sargento Cheese
  • Scarguard (added 10/6/09)
  • Schiff Nutrition (maker of Tiger’s Milk & Fi-Bar) (added 10/6/09)
  • Seoul Metropolitan Government (added 10/6/09)
  • Simplex Healthcare (Diabetes Care Club) (added 9/2/09)
  • Sprint (added 8/23/09)
  • StarKist (tuna) (added 2/8/10) (statement)
  • State Farm Insurance
  • Subaru (added 10/6/09)
  • Tesco (added 12/19/09)
  • Toyota-Lexus USA (added 10/6/09) / Toyota (GB) (added 2/3/10) (statement)
  • Travelers Insurance (added 8/27/09)
  • Travelocity
  • UPS (added 8/23/09)
  • United States Postal Service (added 9/14/09)
  • Verizon Wireless (added 8/21/09)
  • Virgin Atlantic (added 01/08/10)
  • Vonage (added 8/24/09)
  • Waitrose (added 10/4/09) **
  • Walmart (added 8/17/09)
  • Woodland Power Products (added 10/6/09)
  • Wyeth Consumer Healthcare (added 9/14/09)

* [Roche has withdrawn their commitment to cease sponsoring Glenn Beck, and is now running ads again on the Glenn Beck show.]

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David Deacon Jones Headslap

With Hollywood running riot over the collective consciousness you’ve probably asked yourself “What can I do to help whip whip evil’s ass?” The recent Superbowl presents an opportunity to answer that question. Here now is the Minister of Defense – David Deacon Jones – to show you what you can do!

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Wondertrash predicts Saints Superbowl win!

Who Dat!

The New Orleans Saints have just won the Superbowl 31-17. Regular Wondertrash readers may remember that the Saints win was predicted right here on this blog only a few days ago! For more info check out SI’s NFL blog.

superbowl

superbowl

@katiecouric: Drew Brees

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Wynonna Judd wants to know what love is

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