Full House and in the family way!

crack addled former child star Jodie Sweetin is pregnant againLindsay Lohan doesn’t understand why she is a target. She has a point. There are actresses way more fucked up than her. Like former Full House child star Jodie Sweetin. Not much became of Sweetin after she moved out and moved on from the Tanner residence. That is until she burst onto the pages of the National Enquirer. A sad story it was too.

It seems that Ms. Sweetin married a scuzz bag. By scuzz bag I mean that he’d need gene therapy to become slime. His name is Cody Helpin, and he’s a drug addict with less sex appeal and way more tattoos than any of Jesse James B team.

Cody and Jodie went on to struggle together with marriage and substance addiction. For her part Jodie stupidly squander over $250 000 on drugs and tattoos. For his part Cody had to stand by and watch as Jodie nearly OD’d, and spent hours in convulsions. So it’s clear who the victim is. If you need any more clues Cody refused to take Jodie to an ER during her near fatal overdose. He was far too concerned that his wife’s minimal fame might make her near death experience image damaging or something.

Cody & Jodie had more in common than drugs, sex, and brain damage. They popped out some kids along the way. That came in handy during their inevitable divorce (inevitable is such a strong word. Let’s give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they were as likely to OD together). It gave them something else to keep fighting over. Cody insisted that Jodie was a drugged out ho’bag unfit to water plants much less raise kids. Jodie insisted that Cody had worked his magic on her impressionable mind – perhaps like Bobby Brown had on Whitney Houston – and got her hooked on dope so that she would use her money to support his habit, instead of her own. No one said that druggies are master strategists.

Jodie went on to state that she was now in recovery and living out the American Dream: a second chance! So she was far to focused on herself to ever jeopardizes her dreams by being a bad mom to her kids. Greed is good as some one once said in a flick. Well the case got kicked back and forth – custody issues that is. The divorce was already a done deal. He who had the kids had the money and money would come in handy while moving forward in a more positive direction.

Jodie wasted no time in grabbing onto her second chance. She got herself married up to a fine young feller named Morty Coyle. They’ve only been seeing each other for about a year, but they must have liked what they saw ’cause Jodie has once again jumped impulsively in head first. By that I mean that she’s got herself knocked up by her young man. The couple have announced through Jodie’s publicist that the pair are expecting a baby which is due this year. So let’s hope that history doesn’t repeat it’s self and that Jodie isn’t making some awful drug addled mistake that will play out in the tabloid headlines. I’m an optimist so I like to see that glass as half full. What it’s half full of is another question!

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Freaky Friday

livin’ la vida Lohan

Photobucket

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Pretty Woman People’s Most Beautiful

Pretty Woman People's Most Beautiful
You know how they say that you shouldn’t believe everything that you read (unless it’s posted on the Internet in which case you shouldn’t believe any of it!)? Well People Mag has unveiled their annual Most Beautiful list and Julia Roberts tops it. Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox seem to be missing.

Now I could buy Halle Berry but Roberts? Don’t get me wrong because Julia is a ‘handsome’ woman. However she looks like she might be more likely to win the Kentucky Derby than top a Most Beautiful list (On that thought if Julia did enter the Kentucky Derby her hubs Danny Moder might be the one to jockey her across the finish line. Riding her regularly has helped his surfing enormously)! If they were gonna choose Roberts than why not give the cover to Sandra Bullock (the Bette Davis to Roberts’ Joan Crawford)? There’s a lot of public interest in Sandy right now. Plus Ms. Sandy could probably use a self esteem boost. Now here are some friendly gossips to fill you in by way of a short video clip.

Justin Bieber made the list. I guess that a People asst editor probably heard some buzz about him, possibly from a teen aged daughter, and so stuck him in there to appear relevant. They needn’t have bothered. Bieber’s fans don’t buy People.

Jennifer Aniston, Robert Pattinson, Justin Bieber and Jennifer Lopez are some of the other celebs to make People magazine's Most Beautiful issue in 2010.

This explains why Megan Fox was moping around lately (previous post). When I saw the pix I thought that Meggers might have gone on the meth like Lindsay Lohan. Perhaps she just found out that she didn’t make the list. That was the end for the B Sharps on the Simpsons.

http://www.viddler.com/player/40b8d736/

It’s unknown what possessed People to put Roberts on their cover – LSD in the water cooler maybe. Then again it might have something to do with the “backlash” against cosmetic surgery!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32545640

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Don’t worry about authenticity – focus on credibility if you want to make it

That leads to the Wondertrash thought of the day: It pays to seem natural, or as they say in the land of make believe “Sincerity, when you can fake that you’ve got it made“. They might have spelled out what ‘it’ is, and given some useful advice about what to do with ‘it’ once you’ve got it. Sandra Bullock for one might need to know that!

Sandra Bullock can take consolation in one thing and that is that change is the only constant. To emphasize that lets take a look at an old episode of the Simpsons and the man Mel Gibson used to seem to be.

http://www.viddler.com/player/22388ba4/

It’s still hell being Mel, only it’s a whole different kind of hell. The more things change the more they stay the same.

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Megan Fox looks shiteous

Megan Fox has a reputation as being the hottest woman on the planet. Her dance card is booked up solid too. Despite the disappointing performance of Jennifer’s Body at the box office, Meggers has a movie opening soon – Jonah Hex, and more on the way – Transformers part 13 or something. Michael Bay is looking to retire off of her.

Well Megan might be pushing herself too hard ’cause some recent photographs of her show the actress as looking less than her white hot self. Just have a gander at the following pix courtesy of Amy Grindhouse:

megan fox without make up

Just in case you think that was an isolated occurrence then just clap your peepers onto this by way of All About Hollywood:

megan fox without make up

Poor Meggers looks like something that the cat dragged in! Maybe she looks more like the Roadrunner after the coyote caught up with her. In fact she looks rough, Lindsay Lohan rough. Now Lohan took years to get herself into that state and used many illicit chemicals along the way, but what’s eating Megan? Maybe she’s just over booked herself with film roles. Could fame and fortune be as bad as they say?

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Let’s give them something to talk about

Bullock adopts baby

When scandal strikes a celebrity the resulting media frenzy is usually unavoidable. When stars spin into damage control mode it’s often like swallowing the spider to catch the fly. Like when Tom Cruise tried to prove that he wasn’t gay by jumping off of Oprah Winfrey’s couch in front of a live studio audience. “There you see! Would a gay guy do that?” He moved from an object of speculation to a joke before his feet touched the carpet. Mel Gibson didn’t improve his image as a drunken, temperamental bigot by knocking up a Russian pianist. He did mess up his 29 year marriage.

When bombshells explode

So when Sandra Bullock’s marriage exploded in a maelstrom of hookers, tattoos, and Hitler memorabilia shortly (8 days – there’s a movie script int here. You call the film 8 Days and it follows an actress/actor from her Oscar win to the end of her life as she knew it) after her Oscar win, she had limited options. She could make a brief statement and move on, like David Letterman. She could go into hiding until this whole thing blows over like Chris Bale did after his rant hit youtube, or as Russell Crowe frequently does when his temper acts up. Or she could take a leaf from the Book of Law!

Hey Jude

Jude Law got into a minor skirmish with a pap gal while coming out of a London club at 3 AM a while back. The media thought that they smelled blood because smacking a bitch just ain’t kosher. Chris Brown and Rihanna were still on folks minds. The chick claimed that she was gonna sue and the story kept growing. Jude probably thought that he was gonna be the next Hugh Grant. Then a chick he casually knew back in the states claimed he knocked her up and that’s all anyone could talk about – case closed.

Where’s Sandy?

Sandra tried keeping a low profile, She even ordered Jesse into a special hi security rehab facility, to make sure that he didn’t make matters worse. However the story was developing a life of it’s own. More women were coming out of the wood work by the week, and they were too dang interesting to leave alone. Only Tiger Woods entry into the Masters provided Sandy with a brief respite. So it was time for plan 2 & 3.

Unto you a son is given – It’s a wonderful life

Sandy has unveiled plan 2 & 3 on the cover of People. She has adopted a baby from New Orleans. So she gets props for doing something about that dreadful post flood situation (it’s the thought that counts – whatever she might have been thinking). The child is called Louis Bardo Bullock. Sandy explains that when she first clapped eyes on the tot Louis Armstrong’s It’s A Wonderful World was playing. Now this sort of thing worked for Eric Dane after his ‘sex’ tape, though he didn’t throw in the musical reference.

What a coincidence, parenthetically speaking

She also gave some explanations. She said that she began the adoption process 3 months before the Academy Awards, but didn’t want to tell anyone. She wanted me time with the tyke. Understandable because with all of her pre Oscar preparations her time would’ve been severely limited. Besides if she’d announced it pre Oscar it would’ve been seen as a cynical attempt to sway the Academy through publicity, rather than a cynical attempt to salvage her image. She also announced that she’s filed for divorce and will be raising her beautiful new baby as a single mom.

The woman who has everything is finding it a bit too much

Now people love babies. So this should give everyone something else to talk about. It will even give them something positive to say about Sandy! So the bases have been covered. However dragging a baby into the middle of this mess is questionable. Maybe she should’ve opted for something less extreme, like a fabulous new Summer hairstyle! Then again if Sandy was capable of being less extreme then she wouldn’t be a celebrity, and Sandy is so much of a celebrity that she’s gotten awards for it! BTW Sandy the Razzie people still want that statue back.

Sandra Bullock adopts

Louis, Louis

Thought Sandy is wearing her broadest smile the child looks a bit doubtful. Oh yeah and the Sandra Bullock sex tape is still not happening.

wondertrash

Boycott the circus!

… but send in the clowns

Boycott the circus!Entertainment is full of aspiring actresses trying to find the side door to success by way of dubious career choices. This route is usually an express lane to no where, but occasionally it takes you onto the fast lane, as in the case of Olivia Munn. Olivia is best known for an internet podcast called Attack of the Show. It’s funny. clever and less popular than The Young Turks. The main job perk was getting swag when stuff got reviewed.

wrong turn onto the fast lane

Then, one day and quite by accident Olivia pinged on the radar. AOTS did a Wonder Woman sketch featuring Olivia. The combination of a fresh faced cute chick in cosplay gear fired young men’s imaginations and Olivia had ingredient one for a breakthrough – buzz. Soon she was to find herself in Maxim’s Top 100 – at 98 or 99. Pretty good for a nobody. That must’ve been the time that the movie offers started in because Olivia is currently wrapping one movie and set to play the Wasp in an upcoming Batman! Nice work if you can get it.

ego trips and other occupational hazards

Well plumb rolls are only part of the whole celebrity trip. There’s also the hype. Olivia should be an expert on this, having worked in the media, but she’s not. In fact she recently let ambition get the better of good sense – an occupational hazard with celebrities, when she attended a PETA function.

cause celeb

PETA is one of those cause celebs. Actors and actresses used to get involved to add some credibility to their image, back when PETA had some credibility. Then PETA tried to gain a higher profile by attacking a group that knows more about hype than they do – the fashion industry. They began dumping sacks of flour over any famous person they caught in animal skins, like Lindsay Lohan.

fashion fights back

PETA would’ve fared better if they’d concentrated on the east coast seal hunt or something because the fashion industry began using their media contacts to fight back. Reports came out about PETA’s ‘insincerity’: they euthanize over 98% of animals in their care – and explained that one by saying that they’re not about animals but about raising consciousness and issues. Some of their workers also got caught stuffing bags of dead cats into dumpsters. PETA responded with their George Clooney flavored tofu media blitz!

you can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs

Now that doesn’t stop PETA from acting like they still have credibility, nor does it stop junior glitterati (D Listers) from glomming on to them. Eager young d listers might have learned from Pamela Anderson who attached herself to PETA for years. When the chips were down though she had to give them a rest and go back to dropping her drawers and flashing her boobs in public to make a living. Pam is also celebrating her new fragrance which may or may not be animal tested.

failure is not an option, only an inevitablity

Just because something doesn’t work is no reason not to give it a chance – unless you’re interested in results or anything. Perhaps that’s why Ms. Munn recently doffed her duds for PETA (in their ironically entitled “Boycott the circus” campaign) in an attempt to scale the heady heights of the entertainment industry. She even appeared nude (rather than naked: one shows everything while the other reveals nothing) in one of their adds.

old enough to know better, but young enough o keep trying

Fine and well. You can forgive a young actress for not knowing better – about PETA I mean, dropping your drawers in a good cause is okay. Well Olivia added one mistake to another by continuing to let ambition get the better of poor judgment. She showed up at their event to hype her poster wearing of all things leather boots! Here are some pix by way of celeblog Oh No They Didn’t:

olivia munn peta leather boots
boycott the circus

the wheel is crooked and it’s the only show in town

Those little things are bound to be picked up on and especially when there are a thousand or so cameras pointed at you. When asked whether the shoes were leather Olivia responded “No they’re not”. PETA tried – unsuccessfully – for a little more finesse. They pointed out in their official release on the incident that it wasn’t an anti leather campaign! Quit right. It was an anti circus campaign, and PETA is part of the biggest circus in town, the entertainment industry. I wonder when people will get around to boycotting that?


Entertainment ain’t the only fucked up business. Just hit the link for the Goldman Sacks hearings. If that’s too much then divert yourself with the following celebrity rogues’ gallery:

Celebrities

Britney Spears
Britney Spears
Kim Kardashian
Kim Kardashian
Heidi Montag
Heidi Montag
Zac Efron
Zac Efron
Vanessa Hudgens
Vanessa Hudgens
Miley Cyrus
Miley Cyrus
Spencer Pratt
Spencer Pratt
Robert Pattinson
Robert Pattinson
Adam Lambert
Adam Lambert
Taylor Lautner
Taylor Lautner
Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift
Kate Gosselin
Kate Gosselin
Crystal Bowersox
Crystal Bowersox
Michelle McGee
Michelle McGee
Liam Hemsworth
Liam Hemsworth
Ali Fedotowsky
Ali Fedotowsky
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Erin Andrews Gets Flustered

Erin Andrews has her problems, what with peep hole videos and deranged stalkers following around threatening to throw acid in her beautiful face. That hasn’t stopped her from showing her face in public. She’s signed on with Dancing With The Stars, and brought her security detail with her. She also insists that she’s in it to win it – despite having to work under tons of pressure. Just ’cause she doesn’t scare easily doesn’t mean that the fair Ms. Andrews isn’t capable of getting flustered though.

In the following video clip Erin stops by the Jimmy Kimmel Show to talk about dancing, death, and to have her cage rattled. It’s the celebrity experience in encapsulated in a nut shell!

So they didn’t talk about death. They spoke of sex and that’s close enough. Jimbo also had a Bible handy (who’d have thunk it?) to put Erin on the spot. One would believe that Jimbo had little faith in Ms Andrew’s veracity. Maybe he just enjoyed watching her squirm for wiggle room. I’m sure the audience did.

To give Kimmel the benefit of the doubt I’m sure that he hears more bullshit than a bartender at closing time over the course of his show. Assuming that every celebrity is a sociopathic liar would be cynical. Dragging the Bible into it just makes folks uncomfortable. Erin jumped at the sight of the Good Book like Dracula at garlic. Has she gone Faustian, or is she a full blown Morlock? Jimmy might’ve saved her much embarrassment if he’d watch the following short video about how to spot a liar! It might also help liars out there avoid getting caught. When people take to playing games with each other, it helps if everyone is playing by the same rules & the same play book. Have fun!

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