“What’s going on in the marriage of TV star Sven Martinek? The actor no longer lives with his wife Xenia Seeberg together. Marital crisis!”
This is good news bad news for fans of LEXX and it’s principal actress German hottie Xenia Seeberg. The good news is that she’s back on the market. She’s back on the market because of the bad news, she’s separated from her husband Sven Martinek. Xenia married Sven back in 2003. In 2005 they had a son Philip-Elias. That’s where things went wrong.
According to some German web pages that don’t translate well, Xenia claims that it was her pregnancy that rattled Sven’s cage. Even though it was planned, he couldn’t seem to cope.That led to a separation. Now Sven says he’s willing to reconcile with Xenia. Xenia says she still cares for Sven. She also says that the relation is dunzo without possibility of a reunion. So that’s bad news for Xenia, Sven, & young Elias. For all you rabid Xev fans out there, it means you can start your engines again. Just to get your sweaty, desperate fantasies rolling, here’s what Xenia looks like now at age 37.
Oh well, some relationships can become confining.
BTW more LEXX updates – Brian Downey is still recovering from an assault. He was brutally mugged while withdrawing cash from an ATM. He does make it out to the conventions though, to meet and greet loyal LEXX fans.
Not all reality TV relationships end in bitter divorces. Sometimes they end in murder. Ryan Jenkins is a 32 year old from Calgary who claims to be an investment broker, a millionaire, and a gambler. He went to California to pursue real estate investments and appear on a reality TV show called Megan Wants A Millionaire. Megan wasn’t interested, but says he was a nice guy.
That left Ryan at loose ends. Somewhere along the way he hooked up with Jasmine Fiore. Fiore had gone to California to try and make it as a personal trainer. It was in a fitness related capacity that she bumped into Jenkins – they are rumoured to have hooked up in a strip club.
The pair married, and then a short while later got it annulled. Fiore’s mother claims that Ryan had convinced her daughter to take him back. In retrospect that seems to have been a mistake, because Jasmine strangled body was found in a suitcase left inside a dumpster at about the same time that her husband reported her missing. He was to go missing too, about the same time that the LAPD decided he was a person of interest.
The LAPD is suggesting that Jenkins has gone on the lamb. He’s is only wanted for questioning at the moment, but he’s wanted bad. The LAPD are begging him to come in and talk things out. It seems they have many unanswered questions, like “Did you kill your wife?” Jenkins is talking, but to his attorneys. That’s probably wise, because the latest twist in this story us that Jenkins has a previous history of assault. Back in 2006 Jenkins pleaded guilty to assaulting his then girlfriend. He was given a discharge after completing counseling, and after serving 15 months probation. It’s beginning to sound like Megan’s instincts were sharper than Ms. Fiore’s.
This little doozy keeps getting pulled off of youtube, so here it is posted here directly. It’s Britney Spears with her top ten reasons why she should be president, as seen on Late NightwithDavid Letterman.
When has democracy ever been anything other than a circus fantasy? Besides she came up with ten reasons that are no more frivolous than the usual political platform, so she’s obviously thought this through. I think that we can safely assume that if Britney Spears actually were president, then democracy would certainly be more interesting. She couldn’t possibly be any worse than Sarah Palin!
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were on the phone with Ryan Seacrest recently to explain how very religious Christians can justify a Playboy spread. It depends on how you look at it. Heidi & Spencer look at it in the most convenient way, and through a series of rationalizations. Just have a listen!
So you’ll be seeing and hearing much more from Speidi. The good news is that even jealous haters, without powerful curves (Spence makes Heidi sound like Rachel Alexandra!). You just have to go out and buy their upcoming book on how to be famous. Once you have the Speidi sense then you can stop hating them and start being like them! Isn’t that just what the world needs, more C list celebs?? Go on and join that zombie army – I dare you!
In other news original TV Survivor Richard Hatch has been arrested. It happened right after he gave the following interview to NBC!
“Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry!”
Kirstie Alley is less than jolly these days, according to Celebitchy. In fact she’s madder than Brooke Shields on Seniors’ visiting day! She has good reason to be. The National Enquirer has recently featured her on their cover. Now they’ve done a lot of stories on Ms. Alley in the past few years. The NE seemed to become more interested in Kirstie as the actress got heavier. Now the mag has crossed the line from interest to genuine concern.
The Enquirer seems to think that Ms. Alley’s current weight could affect her health. So they consulted some “experts” about her possible life expectancy. The experts in question gave Ms. Alley about 4 years. Flushed and giddy with an unaccustomed sense of credibility after predicting poor Michael Jackson’s demise, the NE splattered their latest deathwatch story right across the cover. Kirstie flipped, even though the NE gave her one more year than they gave Oprah (“experts predict” 3 years).
Kirstie did what celebs are starting to do now when they feel moved by something. They get right on Twitter and tell the world. Kirstie started tweeting with a vengeance and letting everyone know that this time the Enquirer had gone too damned far, again. For one thing her 85 year old father saw the headlines and phoned her up in a panic. Kirstie felt that worrying her poor elderly father was just beyond the pale. In the Enquirer’s defense might I say that if her father believes anything he reads in the NE, then it might be time for him to join Teri Shields in the Seniors’ Isolation Unit (Brooke wants you to know that she became genuinely concerned about her mom’s well being when the old girl began showing the signs of Geriatric Profanity Disorder: darting eyes, decisiveness, bossiness, chronic nagging, and most worryingly motor mouth!).
No more Ms. Nice Guy
Perhaps trying to fight fire with fire, Kirstie’s gone on the Tweet against the Enquirer. She’s targeted one particular ‘journalist’ with the mag who’s not officially connected with the story, but who may suffer from ‘anal leakage’ according to Ms. Alley’s Twitter page (Alley’s got a real talent for the tabloid journalism thing!). Kirstie had some other things to say to, like she’ll pay for dirt on said ‘journalist’ (if you need spare cash and you know anything, or can just make up something plausible, there’s your cue!), and that all her loyal fans should harass the evil bitch to within an inch of her sanity. Don’t take my word for it, here are the excerpts from the irate Ms. Alley’s Twitter page!
Don’t react to it – own it!
So there it is. All bets are off and no holds are barred. So far there’s no telling how this story will develop. If it develops like the Brooke Shields’ case then it’ll end with an apology and a cash settlement. However considering that this is the kind of PR is gold, Kirstie might almost want to pay the Enquirer. If she can spin this thing just right she might even find herself back in the reality TV game! This could be a good time for her to reach out to Jessica Simpson!
However there’s more going on than sex tapes and tabloid feuds. For one thing Inglourious Basterd Brad Pitt seems to be morphing into the late great Lee Marvin. Just take a look at the photo below and judge for yourself!
Has he channeled the spirit of the tough guy actor for his work with Quentin Tarantino, or is life with Angie toughing him up? Being trapped at close quarters with Jolie would have to be a sink or swim situation. In any case The Dirty Dozen will either be his next project with QT, or life with AJ after she completes assembling her brood.
Brad Pitt ain’t the only one morphing. Renee Zellweger has pulled off a stunning transformation. A month ago WT posted that she was starting to look like Hilary Clinton, but now she looks fab! She dropped major weight, and is parading around in a stylish gray number. Just have a look!
So what prompted this? Was it something I said?? Incidentally Huma Abedin still looks like Freida Pinto, as far as I know.
Next we have Eva Longoria. She’s not pulling any transformations, but she is pulling faces. Take a look below.
Her gag reflex is finally kicking in! I hope that isn’t La Beso grub she’s tasting, ’cause she’s planning on taking Beso national. She’s going to put ‘besitos’ in airports across America (starting in LAX), where people have limited options when it comes to food!
Finally we have the queen of transformations, Britney Spears, She dropped in on David Letterman (take that Conan O Brian) to help him with his top ten list. In case you missed it, here it is!
Believe it or not there is a rumour going around that some one is plotting to kidnap Katie Jordan Price (probably started by the relentlessly attention seeking Ms. Price herself)! Now apart from UFOs, attracted by her unearthly orange glow, the $64 000 question is “who would want her?” Well Jordan has an answer for that too. Apparently the Russian Mafia, unlike everyone else on the planet, is keenly interested in Ms. Price. They have allegedly entertained plans to kidnap the former ‘glamour model’ (now worth an estimate 40 mill pounds) as she flies around the globe promoting her equestrian collection.
The one flaw in the plan – who’d want her back?
Now the Russians would be taking a big gamble on kidnapping Ms. Price, since for their gambit to pay off it would require some one who actually wanted her back and was willing to pay money to that end. I refer our Russian friends to the excellent Danny DeVitoBette Midler comedy Ruthless People. A worse case scenario could have Boris and Natasha stuck with Jordan.
The Price is right? Who’d pay cash for that clunker?
Since the Russian mob have a world wide rep as highly effective criminals (what the Italian Mafia used to be before they went Hollywood and got soft). I have to doubt the story. This is more likely some kind of miscommunication. Perhaps what really happened is that some one attempted to cash Ms. Price in under President Obama’s Cash For Clunkers scheme. Let’s face it, you’d have to pay some one to cart that old bag away!
Update: The Gayheart Dane sex tape leak has been officially linked to Kari Ann Peniche. The former Miss Teen USA admits that it came from her computer, but claims that it was stolen from her hard drive. Blaming hackers sounds about as sincere as her ‘hotties for hire’ barroom spiel. At least she’s admitting to knowing what sex tape everyone is talking about, & that’s a start!
It’s always the one you least suspect, unless it was the one you shouldn’t have trusted
The Dane+Gayheart+etc (Kari Ann Peniche) sex tape story is taking on freaky new dimensions. Current internet conspiracy theories have Peniche as the on who leaked the video. That falls into the “d’uh” category since there were only 3 people in the room when the thing was made. Dane and Gayheart don’t sound like they leaked it. They sound howling mad. They’ve got a lawyer running around threatening to sue any blogger with the temerity to post the video on their site. I only wish they’d made that official before I had the temerity to post it here (see yesterday’s post). Meanwhile Ms. Peniche is giving answers like “what sex tape?” when she’s been asked about it.
Investigators get their freak on
Freakier still the cops are on the case, and not to protect Ms. Gayheart’s honour either! Seems that the police are looking at the tape in regards to an investigation. Now everyone was well doped up in that video – including Ms. Gayheart who says at one point “I’m so high I have to go lie down”. So it’s pretty obvious that some laws got broken in the making of the flick. However obvious and proven are 2 different things. No body actually says “Wow our illegal illicit street dope sure is good. We could go to jail for a long time if any one finds out cause this stuff is highly illegal!” Most people have more sense then that, unless you’re Kelli Scott trying to smuggle cocaine to Cameron Douglas in open court.
Person of interest
Ms. Peniche however is rumoured to be the subject of an ongoing criminal investigation. Now Kari Ann isn’t shy about bending the rules, allegedly. While on Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab she got in hot water for beating up a camera man, bringing low lifes and drug dealers around the set, and stealing shit from Mindy McCreedy. Celebrities can be such a handful. However the reason for the investigation might be Kari Ann’s method for picking up extra cash.
Has rumour has it Kari Ann, a regular around the bar scene, will approach men, and when they get interested tell them that she knows some one who can hook them up with hot girls for hire. She then refers them back to her own service. Though she likes to keep her hands clean, she has been said to occasionally service a client herself. Now this is illegal, being prostitution, so the spotlight has fallen on Ms. Peniche. Hence the cops are interested in all her many and varied activities, especially when they involve sex and drugs. So the moral of this story is that if your vaguely famous and stoned, don’t make sex tapes with people that you can’t trust.
This next story, in which Grey’s Anatomy’s Eric Dane gets extra McSteamy, comes by way of the Gawker. Gawker opens the article with the question “how did these people come to be here”. The people are Eric D, his wife former Noxema girl Rebecca Gayheart, and their friend the former teen beauty queen, Celebrity Rehab drop out, and madame to the stars Kari Ann Peniche. “Here” is wandering around a bedroom stoned and naked, and flopping around a bath tub. “How” is pretty obvious – they thought “Let’s get stoned and make a sex tape!” Here’s the fruit of their efforts!
Three’s Company
An uncensored, longer version of the tape will be published on Fleshbot Tuesday morning.
There now, wasn’t that a treat? This isn’t Gayheart’s first offense either. The National Enquirer called her out on her naked drugged up frolicking in one of their articles.
I guess her Noxema days are well behind her. Now here’s a special music video dedication for our amateur pornographers.
Britney Spears makes friends with some candy. I hope that’s not one of her special Fentanyl suckers. She discovered those while performing in Holland where they’re very popular.
The Dutch are a different breed and anything goes: prostitution, drugs, it’s all good. It’s as if they have no sense of shame. Someone else with no sense of shame would be Naomi Campbell. Naomi has finally found something almost as much fun as hitting people, and that’s parading around with out underwear!
Not to be outdone Robert Pattinson and Kristin Stewart are taking it to the next level.
Well isn’t that sweet – they’re bringing back the movie balcony make out. Next stop – Inspiration Point! Hopefully when Robert’s jalopy runs out of gas on poor Kristin, he’ll play her some cool tunes on the old fashioned radio. Perhaps something like this:
It looks like Oprah Winfrey and long time companion Stedman Graham are taking their relationship to the next level – a separation. Reports are emerging, by way of the National Enquirer, that Stedman has finally had enough. He’s packed his bags and moved out of Oprah’s luxurious 5000 square foot Chi-town co op.
It seems that the breaking point in their longtime relationship was reached during a recent romantic 2 week sea cruise get away. Romantic getaways can put pressure on even the most stable relationships, but what exactly went wrong this time? Well Oprah left Stedman behind and took her other long time companion Gayle King along! You can see how that might’ve been a strain on their relationship. Apparently tired of being an awkward third wheel in the relationship Stedman used his home alone time to call the movers and have his stuff carted out.
This is good news bad news for fans of LEXX and it’s principal actress German hottie Xenia Seeberg. The good news is that she’s back on the market. She’s back on the market because of the bad news, she’s separated from her husband Sven Martinek. Xenia married Sven back in 2003. In 2005 they had a son Philip-Elias. That’s where things went wrong.
According to some German web pages that don’t translate well, Xenia claims that it was her pregnancy that rattled Sven’s cage. Even though it was planned, he couldn’t seem to cope.That led to a separation. Now Sven says he’s willing to reconcile with Xenia. Xenia says she still cares for Sven. She also says that the relation is dunzo without possibility of a reunion. So that’s bad news for Xenia, Sven, & young Elias. For all you rabid Xev fans out there, it means you can start your engines again. Just to get your sweaty, desperate fantasies rolling, here’s what Xenia looks like now at age 37.
Wondertrash 