Things haven’t been going peachy keen for Lindsay Lohan lately. Lindsay has been in court recently over a series of probation violations or something stemming from her last car crash. That’s the one where she hit a truck on the Pacific Coast Highway (back on June 8, 2012) while she was working on Dick & Liz. At first Lindsay told police that she hadn’t been driving, her assistant had. Assistant later denied driving and said that hew as covering for Lindsay. Lindsay gfot charged with lying to the police, or soothing. So the court wasn’t very pleased.
So Lindsay had to go up before Judge James Dabney in Los Angeles Superior Court no less. Her attorney Mark Heller pleaded no contest over the lying. For the record “no contest” is not the same as guilty – but an admission that you don’t have a strong enough case to defend yourself.
That’s not as bad as it sounds because the plea was part of a plea bargain which sees Lohan with a 180 day jail term to be suspended upon her completion of the court’s conditions. Those conditions are 18 months of psychotherapy. She also has to spent 90 days in a locked rehabilitation facility, and following that another 30 days of community service.
The judge also issued a stern warning for Ms. Lohan to stay out of cars, bars, and trouble generally. Said Judge Dabney – “A suggestion: don’t drive. You’re in New York, you don’t need a car. This is it. If you violate your probation we’re not going to be having these discussions.”
More trouble about Chris Brown. Last year he and Drake got into it at WiP nite club over probably Rihanna. There was an altercation and some twit picks of Chris with a cut on his chin. So punch came to shove. Some bottles were also thrown around. Now it seems that the story is bogger than Chris, Rihanna, and Drake.
Basketball star and Eva Longoria ex Tony Parker was also at the scene of the crime. He’s claiming that hew as injured in the melee. So he’s launched a lawsuit against Entertainment Enterprises Ltd – owners of WiP. His asking price is $20 million. Parker’s people claim that EE Ltd should’ve known that there was bad blood between Brown and Drake, and not let them both in at the same time.
Olympic skier Lindsay Vonn is dating Tiger Woods & that’s confirmed. Vonn confirmed it herself. Vonn said “I guess it wasn’t a well kept secret but yes I am dating Tiger Woods. Our relationship evolved from a friendship into something more over these past few months and it has made me very happy.”Vonn wrote on facebook.
Peter Murphy of Brit Goth Rock Band Bauhaus has been arrested for suspicion of causing injuries while driving under the influence of drugs, for felony hit and run, and for possession of methamphetamine. His tale starts down in Glendale, California. Murphy was driving his Subaru Forrester on the intersection of Central & Goode when he nailed as Mercedes at about 11:48 AM. Murphy then managed to make his way around the Mercedes onto Ventura Freeway.
Unfortunately for Murphy he did not make a perfect getaway. For one thing the driver of the Mercedes managed to get his license number, which she passed on toe fire personnel before being hauled away on a gurney. A near by window washer got pictures of Murphy’s vehicle leaving the scene and showing some significant front end damage.Plus eye witnessed followed him from the scene because they were afraid his driving would kill some one. Eye witnesses like the driver of a pick up who followed Murhy from Glendale and eventually managed to cut him off once they reached LA. LA police then detained Murphy until Glendale police arrivced
Murphy had an explanation for his poor driving. He informed Police that he had not been drinking, but was jet lagged from having recently taken a long plane flight. That combined with the effects of his anti depression medication had left him feeling a little under the weather. Police could tell that much already because Murphy seemed unsure of where he was and of the time of day. The police were more interested in the bag of what they suspect is meth amphetamine that he was carrying around with him. So the poor man got hauled in,. booked, and is currently being held on $500 000 bail.
Michelle Shocked is a singer who lives up to her name. She might not be living up to her billing because a bunch of her shows have just got cancelled. The reason is because Michelle Shocked recently went Westboro Baptist Church on her fans while performing in San Francisco. Michelle is a born again Christian and decided to share some of her beliefs with fans during a concert. Michelle was especially concerned about gay marriage. So Michelle told her audience that “You can go on Twitter and say, ‘Michelle Shocked says God hates (anti-gay slur).’”
The result of this outburst is that Michelle Shocked has lost some work. Evanston’s SPACE has cancelled Michelle Shocked’s May 5th performance. SPACE general manager/talent buyer Jake Samuels said he confirmed with the San Francisco promoter that Shocked’s comments were “ugly in nature and not meant to be artistic or satirical in any way … It wasn’t a very hard decision for us.” SPACE’s website goes on to say that “After speaking with the promoter of that show about the nature of the remarks, it’s clear that this is no longer a show we’re willing to put our name on.” SPACE will is offering refunds to ticket holders.
Michelle Shocked may be out of work but Tom Cruise has a full dance card. There’s another Mission Impossible set to go with Christopher McQuarrie directing. Cruise is also set to reprise his Jack Reacher role. The last Jack Reacher cleared about $215 million world wide for Paramount & Skydance. He’s got Oblivion with director Joseph Kosinski coming out soon. Now he can add The Man From Uncle to the list.
The Man From Uncle was a popular 60’s spy TV show. Robert Vaughn and David Ireland played secret agents Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin, who worked for United Nations Command for Law Enforcement. Warner Bros wants to bring the idea back for a possible franchise. They even had Steven Soderbergh lined up to direct and George Clooney set to star. Clooney dropped out because of neck and back issues. So now the studio is pushing the project with Guy Ritchie directing and Tom Cruise as the lead.
Now this is great news for Mr. Cruise but I can’t help feeling a little discouraged about it. With The Man From Uncle getting big screen treatment is means that almost every successful TV show from the past 40 years as been pillaged for possible script material. Yet there hasn’t been a live action full length Wonder Woman movie! Fans did get an idea of what a Wonder Woman motion picture might look like recently when a ‘fan made’ teaser by Jesse V Jackson hit the net. It feature’s Nina Bergman as Wonder Woman, and she shows her action chops while taking on a group of Nazi’s. Let’s have a look at Wonder Nina as she Dances With Nazis.
Who would’ve thought that a cook book could be controversial, let alone bring together uptight white chicks in a bonding moment. Well that’s exactly what Gwyneth Paltrow‘sIt’s All Good has done. Paltrow penned the book to share her low carb gluten free lifestyle with the world. She also wanted to share the insights and experience that she gained along the way. Stuff like her family experiencing ‘specific hunger’ when they swear off of the pizza crust and potato chips. Specific hunger is a term for “cravings”. It would’ve saved a lot of misunderstanding if Paltrow had just said “cravings”, because now the idea that she’s starving out her family on some kooky lifestyle kick has raised hackles. Now this is the part where uptight white chick bonding comes in because it’s Elizebeth Hasselbeck to the rescue.
uptight white chicks stick together, just like gluten
Hasselbeck has been getting some press lately too. That’s because no one knows whether she’s in or out over at the View. Official word is that she’s in. The grapevine is still saying she’s out. Either way she recently made her opinions known when the Gwyneth gluten cook book got mentioned over at the View. Liz took the opportunity to come charging to Paltrow’s defense. Hasselbeck says that she completely gets the whole anti gluten thing. In fact to hear Hasselbeck talk you’d think that gluten is one of the great scourges of our society. In fairness I believe that gluten intolerance has been linked to many mental conditions like depression, bi polar, and even more series stuff, such as an irritant in schizophrenia. It’s also been linked to auto immune conditions like arthritis. The link to gluten hasn’t been conclusive proven though.
Elizabeth says – “I do believe that there is a growing number of people with gluten intolerance, not just celiac disease, like myself,” said Hasslebeck, who’s authored two bestselling gluten-free cookbooks. “I do think it causes inflammation in the body, whether you are celiac or gluten intolerant or not.”
People with celiac disease cannot tolerate gluten, a protein found most often in wheat, rye and barley. Gluten is a like a kind of glue, or binding agent, that holds the grains together after they’ve been ground up and baked. Most people don’t have a problem with it. However it throws some people for a loop. Celiac Disease is the recognized form of gluten intolerance, but it’s believed to effect people in milder, or unrecognized forms. There’s a lot of anecdotal evidence of people who claim that chronic health conditions improved once they got rid of carbs in their diet. Hasselbeck’s own experiences seems to bear this out – “I’ve been on the diet for 10 years,” she explained. “I’ve never felt better.”
Not that Liz is fanatically anti carb or anything. She’s willing to keep an open mind. For instance – Hasselbeck continued, “I do believe that there are quality carbs that can replace gluten, like a quinoa, amaranth, buckwheat, rice, corn, all those things . . . They’re alternative grains that provide a great amount of nutrition. You need quality carbs. Kids need quality carbohydrates to run.”
Besides Hasselbeck has another reason for backing Paltrow. They’re both moms so they’ve got each others’ back. Well Hasselbeck has Paltrow’s back anyway. Says Liz – “She could do whatever the heck she wants“, says Hasselbeck, and continues, “She’s a mom, those are her kids, do what you want.” Naturally ‘do what you want’ means ‘with in reason’. For instance that wouldn’t include subjecting your kids to radical scientific experimentation. It usually means things like curfews and dress codes. Radical lifestyle choices like fad diets, home schooling, or choosing to raise em religious is a grey area. No one likes those things but they’re not sure what to do about it. However let’s please try to keep this in perspective. It’s not like Paltrow has banned vaccines for her kids or anything. She’s not a regular Alex Jones caller, yet. When the kids are restricted to Tangy Tangerine food supplements then you can call CPS.
BTW this whole gluten free thing seems to be catching on. Aspiring actress and short list candidate for CW‘s Amazon Alexandra Daddario took a bite out of a gluten free pancake recently, and her face says it all.
Gwyneth Paltrow has a new cook book out and the inspiration was a stroke that later turned out to be merely a panic attack. She had just finished serving lunch in her spacious garden when, and to use her words “not to be overly dramatic“, she thought that she was gonna die. That’s because she came over light headed, lost the ability to form thoughts, and developed a searing headache. Now that happens to some of us several times daily, & sometimes they’re even called hangovers However it can be a bit of a shock if you’re not used to it.
suddenly one sunny day
Anyway back to Gwyneth. Just because you don’t wanna be melodramatic is no reason not to blow something completely out of proportion. So Gwyneth decided that she was having some kind of near death experience, or in her own words – “One sunny afternoon in London, in the spring of 2011, I thought — without sounding overly dramatic — that I was going to die. I had just served lunch in the garden at home. I had a vague feeling that I was going to faint, and I wasn’t forming thoughts correctly. I got a searing pain in my head, I couldn’t speak, and I felt as if I couldn’t breathe. I thought I was having a stroke.“
Gwyneth survives but doesn’t get over it
This tale does have a happy ending. Gwen goes to the doctor, who explains to her that she’s having a panic attack. This is something that sometimes happens to high strung, anxious people. They usually survive, even if they never actually get over it. There’s not much you can do about the condition, apart from tiresome self improvement seminars that encourage neurotic people to focus even more closely on themselves. Just stick to the basics: smoke plenty of good weed, get enough rest, have glass of wine with dinner, and watch what you eat. That gives yous something to do while nature sorts things out.
When life hands you a lemon make GOOP – because anyone can make lemonade!
The trouble with giving anxious or restless people something to do while time sorts things out is that sometimes they can get a little carried away. Not that I’m accusing Paltrow of making a religion out of her new experience and consequent insights. She hasn’t sashayed down off of the mountain top with the Gospel According to Gwyneth neatly engraved on twin elegantly mono graphed marble tablets or anything. She simply sat down and wrote a new cook book called It’s All Good. So give her credit for keeping it in proportion. However she did write her book GOOP style. That means getting a little carried away and going overboard.
Taking the starch out of Gwyneth Paltrow
In this case GOOP means that Gwyneth gets kind of particular and hyper finicky. For instance she’s got a long list of don’t. She brags that you won’t find a slice of bread or a chicken egg any where in her house. It ain’t because she and hubby Chris Martin are hard up or anything either. Bread is full of gluten. As Gwyneth has discovered gluten can do a real number on your metabolism & nervous system. Since Gwyneth’s nervous system is on over drive most days it doesn’t need any help in that department. Plus she also discovered that Chris and the kids are gluten intolerant too.So the residence is now a starch free zone.
So when you rule out everything else, that leaves you with food for thought?
health conscious types fear gluten
Paltrow backs up her health regime too. Says Gwyn “Every single nutritionist, doctor and health-conscious person I have ever come across . . . seems to concur that (gluten) is tough on the system and many of us are at best intolerant of it and at worst allergic to it. Sometimes when my family is not eating pasta, bread or processed grains like white rice, we’re left with that specific hunger that comes with avoiding carbs.” Sounds like bad news. On the bright side if she’d been Al Gore and those nutritionists, doctors, and other assorted health conscious people (like other students in Paltrow’s yoga classes) who seemed to concur had been eco scientists, then this thing would be An Inconvenient Truth. So be thankful that it’s merely a cook book that strongly discourages pasta, bread, rice, sugar, dairy & chicken eggs among other things, and not some agenda for rearranging the world.
Remember to keep checking in @ Wondertrash, where you always know what’s cookin’, ’cause the menu is disturbingly familiar!
Hassel-back
A few days ago it was unofficially announced that Elizabeth Hasselbeck was allegedly leaving the View after about 17 years on the job. Liz joined about a year after the View started up. She came in straight out of Survivor to replace Lisa Ling. Nothing was official but the rumour was that the marketing guys figured that Liz was too unpopular. Her right wing politics was alienating large portions of the audience. So it was tie for her to go and explore other possibilities like possibly talk radio.
Well an official announcement has come down from on high by Barbara Walters herself, in addition to View spokesperson. The official word is that Liz is a valued member of the team, and that she has along term contract. in other words Hasselbeck ain’t going anywhere. Which only goes to show that you have to be careful about what you read on these gossip web sites.
Perhaps View producers have been reading some of the Internet messages posted about Hasselbeck, which indicate that she was more popular and well liked than believed. Also posters found her right wing views less objectionable than people with in the entertainment industry bubble believed. The general consensus being that she brought some semblance of balance to a stacked deck. Not that anyone would accuse the View of any kind of political bias. It’s just that Hasselbeck was probably the only person her co hosts knew of, besides Angie Harmon, who was voting for Mitt Romney. Let’s just say that sometimes the View is more of an echo chamber. Alternative opinions are essential to maintaining credibility, unless you’re preaching to the choir. Then credibility ain’t as important as consensus. Can we at least agree on that?
So things at the View are pretty much as they were, except for Joy Behar. That leaves Television Without Pity to sum the situation up with their online poll – who should have left the View with Joy Behar. There was one overwhelming favorite that won by a healthy 50% and it wasn’t Hasselbeck either. Just take a look at those current results posted below!
Elizabeth did come in second with a respectable 31 percent, right ahead of all of the above.However apathy was the clear winner! The poll is still on going so you to have a chance to register your indifference by heading over to TWP. BTW as far as I know Brooke Shields is still on – unless they’ve bagged Sarah Palin. That broad is ratings dynamite!
No one likes taxes, and when it comes to that issue Ray Winstone is more the same than most. Now you probably know Ray best as a Brit tough guy actor. However Ray’s current role it that of a vocal tax protester. Ray gave a recent interview to radio show Sexy Beast and he didn’t mince his words about the economic situation. Here’s what Winstone said –
“I can see myself leaving. I love this country but I’ve had enough.” “I don’t see what we are being given back,” the 56-year-old added: “I just see the country being raped.” The British star, who was recently seen on the big screen in a film version of British police drama The Sweeney, told the interviewer: “There are more holes in the roads than a tennis racket, we can’t build hospitals and fire stations are closing.” As for politicians, the Londoner said: “I wouldn’t trust any of them. Maybe we should all stop voting and then something would be done about it.” The interview was not the first time that Winstone has threatened to leave the UK. In a 2008 interview with Live magazine he said: “This country isn’t going to the dogs. It’s gone to the dogs. We’re a mess. “And do I really want to live in this mess any more? I feel bad saying it but I’m just not sure.”
a bit more nut
Tough talk – but the situation is bad. People are particularly pissed off with the bedroom tax. That penalizes people for having extra unused bedrooms. Trouble is that there are too many grey areas like divorced parents with part time custody, who keep a spare rooms for their visiting children; or parents of service persons who keep the spare room available for when their children visit while on leave. They’re hit the same as ‘selfish single persons’ who hog two bedroom apartments when they’d be just as comfortable in one bedrooms. The result is that rents on one bedrooms have gone through he roof (no pun intended) and are getting next to impossible to find. Naturally the bedroom tax is highly unpopular, and has become a focal point for tax protest in general. So when Ray talks he’s only sayin’ what everyone else is thinkin’, even if he has a bit more nut to guard.
fighting unfair Brit taxation since 1984
BTW this isn’t Winstone’s 1st brush with tax protest. Back in 1984 Winstone got himself seriously noticed on Brit cult TV classic Robin of Sherwood. The cast also featured movie actor Robert Addie as Sir Guy of Guisborne, noted stage actor Nicolas Grace as the Sheriff of Nottingham, and upcoming stage actor Michael Praed as Robin Hood/Robin of Loxley. Praed eventually left the show after two years to join the cast of Dynasty for one ill fated season as Prince Michael. His character didn’t survive the big season end kill off cliff hanger.
out on a limb in the 80’s
If you’ll recall season ending cliff hangers had become a ratings gimmick in the increasingly popular prime time soap serials of the mid to late 80’s. It started on Dallas, when villain JR Ewing was shot as the end of the 1982 season by an unknown assailant. People had to wait until the 1983 season to find out if JR lived and who shot him – it was his sister in law Kristen with whom he was cheating on his long suffering alcoholic wife Sue Ellen with. The ratings went through the roof and so it was widely imitated. By the time it got to Dynasty they ‘killed off’ half the regular cast including Joan Collins. Viewers would have to tune in next year to see who survived and who didn’t make the cut. Salary & negotiations rumors fueled speculation that it could be anyone including Joan Collins – so interest was keen. Michael Praed’s Prince Michael didn’t survive.
Praed was out on Dynasty,as well as Robin of Sherwood, where he was replaced by Sean Connery’s son and aspiring actor Jason Connery. Winstone appeared as Will Scarlett, and one of his rob from the rich give to the poor merry men duties was harassing tax collectors and taking their ill, though lawfully gotten, gains.
here is series episode one
For those who fond of the old Robin of Sherwood series, here is episode one season, or we it all began, posted below. if you have and hour for viewing treat yourself to a TV classic.
Don’t call us we’ll call you, have a nice life, & other job loss cliches – Hassling Hasselbeck
In other news Elizabeth Hasselbeck is still allegedly off of the View. It was announced recently that she and other long time host Joy Behar would be leaving this season & replaced by possibly Brooke Shields and one other new host. Word had it that Joy was gone because she was sick and tired, although it wasn’t put quite that way. The semi official announcement from some spokesperson involved somewhere along the communication chain was that it had been 17 years already and it was beginning to feel like work – which is what it’s supposed to be technically – so since it wasn’t a joy anymore Behar wasn’t gonna do it.
Survivor voted off of the View?
As for Hasselbeck, she was just gone as if no explanation was necessary. She was considered to be a vocal uninformed representative of an at best sizable minority of Tea Baggers and gun owners. In other words she was the representative of barely acceptable narrow mindedness and all those out of date ideas that made a partial come back in spite of themselves – or a token conservative in a liberal panel. Also women who weren’t offended by her politics might find her too much of a Stepford wife to identify with. That combo adds up to general unpopularity in a field that counts on likability. It was “Good riddance and no hard feelings” so to speak. Just like Soledad O Brien’s recent departure from CNN, no one was asking whether she was fired or quit.
Good riddance & no hard feelings
Now and according to gossip blog Celebitchy an inside source has confirmed that Liz was axed and it was over her right wing politics. According to CB –
the show’s resident conservative voice is being ousted after market research revealed that she isn’t popular with TV audiences.
“The viewers they polled all said she was too extreme and right wing,” the insider tells Us. “People did not watch the show because of Elisabeth. So they told her yesterday her contract would not be renewed.”
Hasselbeck Hollyspeak
Hasselbeck’s people could not be reached for comment. However a spokesperson for the show told US Magazine – “Elisabeth Hasselbeck is a valued member of The View and has a long term contract.” Now that’s not as bad as “Elizabeth and the View has mutually agreed to explore new possibilities and wish each other much success in the future“. The latter is only Hollyspeak for ‘fuck off and blow away‘.
Keibler fails to pin Clooney for an emotional three count
Finally there’s a story that’s hardly news because it’s more of the same. George Clooney and his future ex Stacey Kiebler are rumored to be on the verge of a bust up. As the pair approach the year and a half mark sources say that it looks like the writing is on the wall. US Weekly claims the pair have a waning romance resulting from having nothing in common. They also go on to say that Kiebler is feeling the 18 year age difference. She wants to rock n roll all night & party every day. Meanwhile the New York Daily News claims that the pair have grown so cool towards each other that they are barely talking.
opportunity opening
Now the reason that this isn’t news is because Clooney has been a confirmed bachelor ever since his brief marriage to Talia Balsam. He has dated numerous women but no one has lasted more than 5 years. His last relationship with Elizabeth Canalis lasted about 2 years, which was about the same length as the relationship before that (unless that one lasted 6 months). So people figured former wrestling star Kiebler’s time was about up. So it looks like aspiring reality TV stars – ex waitresses/models are gonna be as excited as the cardinals at conclave over the chance of a life time opening up again. No word who Clooney has lined up next, but word has it that his people have contacted John McCain for the full list of his 2008 VP running mate choices.
If you like nostalgia then you might enjoy today’s totally awesomepost. There’s a breaking story involving one of the 80’s biggest movies and one of the actors that starred in it, & I’m gonna take the scenic route to get you there. 1st let’s get some of the current gossip out of the way.
Basically Brooke
There’s a changing of the guard a The View. Long timers Joy Behar & Elizabeth Hasselbeck are out. Joy is leaving the show after 17 years – reports say – because she’s had enough. She may or may not go back to Headline News and host a show for them. As for Hassleback no one is really sure why she’s leaving and to hear the ent reporters talking no one much cares. Show Bis 411 describes her as unpopular and annoying. They also claim that EH voiced views that almost no one in America agreed with. That might be a bit harsh on Liz. She got the strongest reactions of any View host if internet message boards are any indication. So even if she was the girl view viewers loved to hate, she was the most talked about.
So who’ll be replacing Behar & Hasselbeck? Rumour has it that Brooke Shields is waiting in the wings. Babs Walters things that Brooke si a great idea waiting for a place to happen and the View could be just the right venue. For another thing Brooke adds up on paper to an ideal morning show host. She’s 47, which SB 411 things is a plus (so at least some one does), she’s a mom (so moms can relate), she’s smart & articulate, plus a Princeton grad. Also it’s hoped that Brooke’s Hollywood connection will pay off in guest bookings. So it looks like Brooke is good to go & Babs has covered the angles. John McCain didn’t take that much trouble picking out a VP running mate back in 2008! They’ll also need a 5th wheel – so the speculation on filling that spot is ongoing – bring on Angie Harmon! Or speaking of 2008 VP running mates Sarah Palin would be a hell of a coup!
days of shit & Roses
Azealia Banks doesn’t care who’s toes she steps on. When she has Twitter to work with she’s a dangerous woman. She made some unkind comments about Perez Hilton. She later tried to clear herself on that by saying she’s bi sexual so it’s okay. Perez has made so many enemies himself by now that even though Banks comments were homophobic, no one really blinked over them. Perez himself has been known to drop the other F bomb, as when he took on Will.I.Am and got punched out about it (ironically he got a black eye). There’s more to life than Perez Hilton though, and Azealia has been spreading the love around. She’s taken on the likes of Jim Jones and Angel Haze among others and now she has added the Stones Rosesto her hate list. That happened on a recent junket down to Australia.
Azealia was visiting down under and while she didn’t see any UFO’s she did get to participate in the Future Music Festival. That’s where she got to meet the Stone Roses and they didn’t hit it off. According to Banks the Roses completely fucked up her set. What’s more it was deliberate sabotage and possibly part of a larger Anti Azealia conspiracy! You see Banks had this manager that she recently fired because he was stealing from her or so she said. Mangers have been know to do that but not everyone accepts it as the price of doing business. Now the guy is working with the Roses.Or maybe he’s just made some kind of a revenge pact. Either way Banks believes that the Roses were interfering with her and that her former tour manager was behind it – “Big apologies on behalf of the Stone Roses to my fans at the festival today,” Banks wrote. “My ex-tour manager made a pact with the Stone Toses saying they’d sabotage my set because I fired him… They decided to check their equipment behind me during my set.” She goes even farther by calling the Roses “old saggy white n—-s“, & wishes “death & excrement” on them. Though Banks has deleted the original tweets they have been preserved via the Internet and here’s the viable proof!
Azealia is a woman who knows how to get maximum mileage out of Twitter. She might be wise to tone it down a notch or two though. She’s only just got her foot int he door and entertainment is a rough mean competitive business. You can be a star one day and gone the next. Just like Judge Reinhold.
The Brat is Back
Once upon a time he was a big deal back in the Brat Pack days, & when Molly Ringwald was America’s Sweetheart (& before she went to France to do adult movies with Jaleel White – oh how the mighty have fallen). Judge was such a big deal he even managed tog et referenced – no ironically – on the Simpsons. In the episode where Marge‘s Mom starts seeing Homer’s father & Mr Burns, Marge points out that though Abraham Simpson has his flaws he’s “Judge Freaking Reinhold” compared to Mr. Burns. Marge’s mom replies that she doesn’t know who Judge Reinhold is. That’s the thing about topical comedy – it doesn’t always stand up. In the Lalapooloza episode when Homer joins the freak show with the Smashing Pumpkins and a bunch of other now defunct indie alternative bands, a reference is made to “that guy who started Apple computers” to which a squeaky voiced teen replies “what computers?” The Apple reference in 98 was suppose to show how far behind the times Homer was. Boy did they come back with a vengeance!
Sean Penn does not approve of this blog
Judge Reinhold is coming back with a vengeance too. Now you might well remember him from those Beverly Hills Cop movies, in addition to a whole plethora of 80’s youth oriented flicks, and Ruthless People with Danny DeVito, Bette Milder, and Helen “Supergirl” Slater. I think he was also in Fast Times At Rigdemount High. That’s the movie that gave the world Sean Penn as Jeff Spicoli, and then passed him along to Madonna until she was able to get rid of him.
a drug called James Woods
Not that any of this was Sean’s fault. It was the 80’s and that decade was hard on many promising Sean’s, like Sean Young. IN addition to having the same 1st names they both had romantic troubles. Sean Young was the memorable young beauty from among other things Blade Runner and Wall Street. She had a classic look that caught a lot of attention. Then she started dating James Woods – often a bad move. James Woods has a self professed 184 IQ and a rep as something of a mind fuck.
killer tomatoes and bunnies in the boiler
Shortly after they began dating Young began acting wonky. Soon she was stalking Woods, keying his car, and leaving mutilated dolls on his front steps. Hollywood has always been a boys’ town where the guys stick together. Girls are allowed in as long as they’re pretty, fun, and don’t make trouble. Now Sean was making trouble. Plus this was the era of Fatal Attraction – a movie still referenced when an emotionally unstable woman takes to creepy stalking and other menacing behavior. The bunny in the boiler scene became as well known as the horse’s head in the Godfather! Anyway Sean was looking like 7 different kinds of trouble on a bad day, and so didn’t work much anymore.
lovers in a dangerous time
Now if something like that could happen to her then you have to cut Penn some slack. For one thing he wasn’t a pretty girl. For another his then wife Madonna was kind of a big deal sexually in the 80’s. Thing Kety Perry morphed with Lady Gaga in Jeff Goldblum’s Fly machine. So Madge put the fizz in everyone’s collective cola, & especially her hi strung hubby Sean. Back then he could go off like Alec Baldwin after he’s missed a yoga class. The mere sight of a paparazzi anywhere near the vicinity of his wife could set him off and result in the pap being pummeled to a snot. There were a number of pap beat downs before things go way out of control.
fit to be tied
That’s when Sean turned on Madonna in a rage and left her gagged and hog tied on their bed – if the National Enquirer reports at he time were any indication. According to the NE Madge was trussed up like a Thanksgiving Day Turkey. Though gagged she was still able to talk (a tough woman to keep quiet) and managed to extricate herself from the tricky situation by promising Sean a sexy massage – which of course he fell for. She then field to the neighbors, bindings trailing behind her, to phone for help. That might have been the end of their marriage thought the relationship must’ve been on thin ice for a while by then.
So what does this have to do with Judge Reinhold besides the Ridgemount High reference? Well nothing except for the fact that Reinhold is poised to make a comeback! As you may or may not have heard Eddie Murphy – Axel Foley from the Beverly Hills Cop movies, is busy working on a TV pilot. he’s cooking this up with Shawn Ryan of The Shield. The premise revolves around Axel Foley’s son Aaron (Brandon T Jackson) who has joined the dept. Also joining the cast are some good ole 80’s names like such as Christine Lahti, David Denman, Sheila Vand and Kevin Pollack. What would BHC be without Billy Rosewood? Never fear cause it has just been announced that Reinhold has joined the cast to reprise his character. So everything is in place. Now the pilot just has to be picked up for a series. Oh yeah and they need some cool edgy 80’s synth pop theme music. Now if only Sean and Madonna could get back together!
Famous actor’s MK Ultra programming is starting to break down!
Russell Crowe has not only seen UFO but captured his hallucination on film! That’s no mean feet! Big Russ was at his office down under, in Woolloomooloo. Woolloomooloo is right int he middle of Sydney, near the world famous opera house for those unfamiliar with Downunder geography. Russ & a chum, possibly Great Big Sea‘s Allan Doyle though there is absolutely no confirmation on that, were playing around with Russ’s new camera. The camera was a Canon 5D, fixed and with no flash. Russ had set it up to catch fruit bats or flying wallabies, perhaps great winged wombats, or whatever other freaks of nature evolved along their separate paths down in Oz. In fact you remember those winged monkeys from the Wizard of Oz that the witch sends after Dorothy? They were actually a now extinct breed of Australian flying monkey called Chumbawumbas. The Wizard of Oz producers had them specially imported for the flick cause they thought that it would be cool, except that the little fellows wound up bringing a virus back with them that wiped out the whole species. It’s another Hollywood tragedy.
I was looking for great flying lambamaloos and then it got really crazy!
Anyway Russ & his friend were sitting around with their camera and waiting for great flying lumbamaloos, or what ever creepy things take flight in the island continent when something really bizarre happened! Russ picked up something on his camera and it wasn’t a dingamalingaloo, or even a gongalongowikiloo. This was a genuine bona fide out of this world ET piloted UFO.At least that’s the way Capt Star Russ Crowe tells it. Well actually he’s a little more understated about it. Russ says –
UFO? Time Lapse Photos Outside RC’s Woolloomooloo Office (THESE ARE REAL!) Canon 5D, No Flash, can’t be a lense flare because it moves , camera is fixed It’s not a video it is 3 time lapse photo’s taken in 4.5 seconds I will grant you at the time the music wasn’t playing, also, yes, we have pushed in on the frame..this is 3 photo’s in order, nothing added
further more there’s a video about it now on youtube. That’s featured below.
The Starships Are Coming
What the woolloomooloo?
Now before you start with that “I used to like him before he went weird and lost his mind” crap just stop and think of r a minute. Russ nowhere says anything about spaceships or aliens. He says “UFO”. UFO means unidentified flying object. So if it’s flying and unidentified then technically that’s true.
swingin’ with the stars
Also even if he saw saucers that doesn’t necessarily destroy his credibility. Many famous people like such as Jimmy Carter & Fran Drescher have seen saucers (not too mention Robbie Williams, though I’m not sure whether he’s seen em or just looks for em). Fran even claims to have been beamed up and implanted! Of course Jimmy & Franny ain’t the company you’d keep if you cared about your credibility.
Anne Hathaway is still brainwashed
Besides there is probably some completely rational explanation for this. Maybe Russell has had MK Ultra monarch programming, as so many celebrities have had. Think of how many freaky episodes mind control victim Anne Hathaway has had (yes Anne I know you have an Oscar now and don’t have to take shit like that from people like me anymore – but I kid because i love).
remember to forget
Author Fritz Springmeier says that one symptom of monarch programming is UFO experiences. These are programmed in as cover memories. When people are whisked away for some brain washing, the programmers just hypnotize the subject into thinking that they were abducted by aliens. So the victim has an explanation, and no one else will take them seriously. The alien abduction scenario also explained the missing time monarch victims frequently experience – that is until they learned how to program in back up amnesia! Then victim couldn’t remember that they forgot they had for got.
So poor Russ was probably really in some secret government laboratory dosed out of his mind on LSD and getting the whole Clockwork Orange treatment. Then they programmed in the UFO Woolloomooloo memory as a cover (incidentally many Australian place names are also used as MK Ultra trigger phrases, because they almost never come up in causal conversation). They then planted the images on his new camera to reinforce the brainwashing. As for the friend – totally in on it. Look for Russ to be in some MK Ultra themed flick very soon, & possibly something where angelic beings called nephilim visit earth in flying saucers to meet earth girls. That will confirm that Russ has been MK Ultra’s and remember you heard that here 1st!
Alternative conspiracies
Alternatively the government might be getting ready to make their long anticipated full disclosure on alien contact. Everyone with a tinfoil hat has been waiting for that ever since Roswell. That is except for those nuts who don’t believe that flying saucers crashed in Roswell, New Mexico. Many of those maintain that Area 51 has nothing to do with UFO’s but is in fact where NASA faked the moon landing.
moon doggy dog
The idea is that there was a space race on with the commies at the time. Russia had beaten America into space and space was a strategic advantage. When Russia sent that dog Sputnik up in the hang glider, or whatever, it triggered War of the Worlds level paranoia in a freaked out at he best of times American population. They were envisioning battalions of Russian attack dogs being para dropped on the land of the free from hi altitude. So what could you do but go to the moon. If you couldn’t actually get there then you’d have to fake it.
astro-nuts
New Mexico desert is very similar to the lunar surface. So instead of actually going to the moon you just set up a sound stage. Then you make a little movie – just like Star Trek, and shamelessly broadcast it to the world as the real thing. The Ruskies will take this seriously and go madder than a bunch of Klingons on red alert. When the commies saw that astronaut with the golf club the Red Curtain completely lost their collective shit. Groups of Soviet scientist were working over time calculating the impact damage a solid titanium golf ball launched from the moon might do if it hit the middle of Moscow. According to the theory this is where Ronald Reagan got the whole Star Wars Strategic Defense Initiative from. Of course the scene of the crime – Area 51 – had to be sealed off from the rest of the world. Also an implausible cover story had to be concocted. That was a UFO crash. The public could never know the truth, but that was a small price to pay for winning the cold war.
a close shave with Occam’s Razor
Occam’s Razor will tell you that is the most far fetched sort of conspiracy theory – so of course then it must’ve been aliens. It’s pure logic. Therefore the American government has been sitting on this huge secret since 1947. There only problem was how to unload the truth onto the American public. Everyone still remembers the fuss Orson Welles caused with his little Mercury Theater prank., So the news had to be broken very carefully and discretely.
Katherine Heigl killed celebrity adoption
Careful and discrete is where Russell Crowe comes in! NASA, Homeland Security, and FEMA – who really run the USA, need a way to break the UFO news to the public. Traditionally the government has used movie stars to direct and mold public opinion. It’s how they sold war bonds back during WW2. People think that celebrities are gods and will believe anything that they say. So you just have to get an A List actor to spot a UFO and everyone will accept it. Soon other movie starts will see saucer because they like to imitate each other and start trends – remember how everyone started adopting from Africa after Angelina Jolie did (but promptly stopped when Katherine Heigl did)? Soon saucer sighting will be cool, chic, and eventually passé. Then the government can come out and announce the existence of aliens with out anyone giving a damn (BTW why do you think that the Pope is stepping down? The Catholic Church owns some of the largest observatories in the world.). That’s called full disclosure with controlled spin.
Then again maybe the explanation is closer to earth. Perhaps Russ and his friend just caught one of those strange Aussie creepy crawlies on film. There’s so much bizarre wild life down there that I doubt even the locals can keep track of it. Russ probably caught some glow in the dark Australian bat or something on his camera. Normally he would’ve known the difference but you know – Australian wine. The stuff packs a punch. Anyway when you’ve got movie actors and wine and strange wildlife together things can get confused. So the starships aren’t coming just yet.
BTW maybe Russell Crowe needs to have a long talk with Commander Ed Staker & the good people @ SHADO. The rest of you can familiarize yourselves with SHADO by watching Episode 1 of Brit Sci Fi cult classic UFO below. Keep your eyes peeled for Gabrielle Drake & her pink moon wig! Also remember to tune into A View From Space with Gary the Spaceman Bell tonite on 640 AM Toronto!GB starts promptly @ 11 & if you can tune in then hit the link to their site and catch the live streaming. This show is so wild it makes Alex Jones look like Anderson Cooper!
Justin Bieber has been over in the UK and things haven’t been going well. 1st he shows up about 2 hours late for that concert. It was a school nite and that really matters since most of Bieber’s admirers haven’t gotten out of hi school yet, or even jr hi for that matter. So there was a big blow up over that in the Brit tabs. Especially since the tickets were about $120 or something. You don’t lay down that kinda dough to sit around for 2 hours. Biebs apologized on Twitter.
Biebs would be doing even more apologies as thing went from bad to worse, more or less. Seems that while Bieb’s was getting from point a to point b today he got into a little fuss with one of Brit’s many paps. Bieber was leaving his London hotel for his SUV, and surrounded by his many many body guards – or minders as the Brit’s call em – when a paparazzo razzed him. Apparently there was some kind of physical contact and the paparazzo got all upset. He had no trouble making his feelings known either, and in the following words – “f**k off back to America”, “f**king little moron“.
Now Justin didn’t take this kindly. So he bolted out of his SUV and started challenging the guy to a smack down. After demanding that the pap repeat himself – “What the f**k you say?“, to which said pap replied “You heard what I said … you heard what I f**king said, mate“, the Bieber then challenged him with “I’ll f**king beat the f**k out of you“. Justin was almost as good as his word to as he took a swing at the pap. Luckily saner heads prevailed – his body guards restrained him and pulled him back into the SUV. The SUV then speed off. Incidentally the pap is talking “assault”. Bieber summed the incident up on twitter as follows – “Ahhhhh! Rough morning. Trying to feel better for this show tonight but let the paps get the best of me.” No one said fame and fortune was easy, & if they did then they were misleading you.
Jodi Arias is one hot fuck who doesn’t take rejection well. When she met up and coming Mormon sales exec Travis Alexander the shit hit the fan.Jodi was a gal from small town California. She claimed to have an idyllic childhood but later admitted that she was regularly abused by her parents, especially her mother. That resulted in her leaving home early and bouncing around from one situation to the next. She worked a series of waitress and bartender jobs while, according to Arias, getting involved with a string of losers who used her, abused her, and sponged off her. Then along came Travis.
Travis Alexander was a good looking, over achieving sales exec who had over come a rough early start. He was one of seven children born to meth addicts. His grandmother had to intervene and raise the kids after mom and dad got sent to prison. She introduced them to the Church of Latter Day Saints, known as the Mormons. She introduced him around and made sure he met some good influences. The rest was up to him.
Since Travis was personable in addition to being bright, good looking and highly motivated, he made plenty of useful connections. A fellow church member was so impressed that he hired Alexander to work in his firm as a sales rep. Travis was soon on the way up and described as a ‘rising star’. By the time he collided with Jodi he was making good money and enjoying life. To an unstable and needy young woman he must’ve looked like a dream come true.
So Jodi began doing whatever it took to bag Travis. She put on her best behavior to impress his friends. She also converted to Mormonism after seeing him for only 6 weeks, to please him. She also blew him off the afternoon of her Mormon baptism. That’s according to Arias’ own statements. Mormonism teaches strict sexual chastity for unmarried members, but according to Arias Travis said that low jobs weren’t really sex based on the Bill Clinton loop hole. During the course of their relationship Arias’ mouth was frequently in motion before her brain was in gear. Her frank confessions about her sex life with Travis have earned her the nick name of “3 holed wonder“.
Despite all of Arias’ desperation Alexander remained uncommitted. He’d call Arias whenever he wanted a fuck. Since they lived in different towns – Arias in California and Alexander in Arizona, they’d meet in neutral territory – selected from the unfortunately titled book 1000 Places to See Before You Die, and book a hotel. The two would then hook up and fuck like rabbits in heat. According to Arias she would do everything from blowing Travis with a mouth full of Pop Rocks candy, to letting him tie her up. Then after their carnal lusts were fulfilled they’d return to their normal lives. So 1000 Places became more of a to do fuck list than a sightseeing guide.
It must’ve been a good arrangement for Travis. He had a hot chick rarin’ to go at his beck & call. Then after their weekend sport he could send her on her way and get back to the life of a high flyin’ Mormon sales rep. No one could prove that he wasn’t the self professed virgin he claimed to be, and Arias remained conveniently at arms length. Meanwhile Alexander kept hanging around the Mormon singles seen and hooking up with other young Mormon eligibles. When Arias moved to Arizona to be closer to Alexander the relationship began to take on dangerous stalkerish overtones.
This is about the time Travis began complaining to friends about Arias’ behavior. He said that she would spy on him, read his emails, and even crawl through the doggy door to sleep in his home while he was away. Since he was also seeing other women she would become jealous and possessive. She’d show up mysteriously while he was out on dates. Or she’d follow him. Sometimes his tires would get slashed. No one could prove it was her. Travis joked to friends that if he ever wound up dead they’d know who did it. He kept seeing her.
Things finally came to a head sometime after Jodi moved back to California. Friends say that Travis seemed much more relieved after Arias’ move. However the pair remained in contact. At some point Arias decided to pay Travis a visit. The visit was carefully panned. Arias dyed her hair brown. When she hit the road she left a credit card trail at gas stations along the way. Once she crossed into Arizona she switched to cash. She also switched off her cell phone.
After arriving at Travis place the pair proceeded to fuck just like old times. We know this because Jodi photo documented the whole thing. Then, after fun time and while Alexander was showering, Jodi surprised him in the shower – just like the Alfred Hitchcock movie Psycho. She stabbed him 27 times and slashed his throat. She also took some pictures of that. She then high ailed it on out of town to keep a date with another boyfriend – who happened to be a close working associate of Alexander. Never once did she mention what had happened. Since no one knew where she had been it hardly seemed relevant.
Travis friends started wondering when they lost contact with him. Travis was a social network bug. So he always kept in contact with friends and associates. When they couldn’t get a response out of him for a couple of days they knew that something was up. The smell coming from his place was also a give away. When police arrived they found the crime scene pretty much as Arrias had left it. They also found her camera in they washing machine. Arias had erased the incriminating pictures and then sent the camera through he rinse cycle. However the photographs survived on the camera’s chip (it’s similar to erasing files from a computer – they’re erased from the directory but still exist on the computer’s hard rive). Those pictures were telling a different story from the one Arias was selling.
So Arias got picked up and hauled in for questioning. At first she denied everything. She insisted that she’d never been anywhere near Alexander’s place. She claimed that she’d been on a road trip and got lost. She immediately ran into trouble since the interviewing detective had traveled the very same route Arias claimed to have taken. He pointed out that the trip only took about 11 hours. She’d been off the radar for 48 hours. So even if you added 2 10 hour sleep overs there was a big chuck of time unaccounted for. When Arias stuck to her guns the detective dropped the other shoe. He revealed that police had her camera.
In what was to become a habit for Arias she changed her story. She now admitted to seeing Travis. She admitted that she also took the pictures. She denied killing him. She claimed that they were victims of a home invasion. The burglars killed Travis right away. She escaped while they were trying to decide what to do with her. Instead of summoning help she hopped in her car, and instead of heading for the police she headed straight out of town and back to California. The bizarre behavior was the result of being scared and naive according to Arias. Besides she had that date to keep!
Arias wound up behind bars, despite insisting on her break in story. She gave frequent press interviews, like the one she gave to Inside Edition. She claimed that no jury would ever convict her because she was innocent. She insisted that the real killers were still at large. The story didn’t seem to help.
“This time I mean it – you can trust me”
That’s when Ms. Arias came up with yet another story. She now claimed that she did in fact kill Travis. She also claimed that she had a very good reason to do so. He was an abusive pig who sexually degraded her. More than that he could become physically abusive. The final straw came during their week end tryst when she started photographing him in the shower and dropped his camera. She dropped it on the floor and Travis flipped out. He called her some bad names and lunged at her. Since she was a previous victim of abuse she freaked out. Then she stabbed him 27 times and cut his throat in self defense. Then she took some pictures. That last bit seems a little like over kill.
That brings thew story to where it is today – with Ms. Arias as the defendant in a highly publicized trial. Cynics think that she’s changed her story so many times because she’s looking for one that will work. They also think she comes off as bat shit insane. Ms. Arrias claims that even though she’s lied before and admits that, this time she’s telling the truth. “Please believe me” is the only part of her story that remains consistent throughout. Beyond that the out come is up to the jury. Meanwhile you can aquiant yourself with some of the details of the case by watching the following videos – 48 Hours Picture Perfect, & the Dateline episode.
Wondertrash 