Al Gore was generally seen as being “not the man” his boss was. Gore was seen as all vision an no libido; the sort of man who might have kept his estranged wife awake at night for hours with talking jags about global warming and environmentalism, and who could even take the fun out of meeting rock stars like Sting and Bono with his eco preachiness and luke warm earnestness. If that’s the kind of guy you think that Al Gore is then the National Enquirer wants you to know that you’re thinking wrong.
Gore is turning out to have alot less vision and a lot more urge than previously billed. His whole global warming scheme has been officially discredited, with a little help from all those world class scientists who didn’t sign that unanimous agreement. He was rumoured to be carrying on a torrid affair with Larry David’s ex wife. She’s denied that one. It’s just so embarrassing. Now the former next president of the United States is being investigated for sexually assaulting an Oregon masseuse.
The National Enquirer is reporting that Gore has been carrying on an affair with a ‘gorgeous’ masseuse even as his marriage to anti rock’n’roll crusader Tipper Gore was disintegrating. What’s more tabloid investigators claim that they have personally seen $540 massage bill, dated Oct. 24, 2006, with their own eyes.
The investigators have also seen official police reports regarding an incident with said masseuse. The report, alleging unwanted sexual contact, is marked “Confidential Special Report”, names Al Gore as the prep. It took place – again allegedly – in an upscale Portland Hotel. The Enquirer will not name the 54 year old woman involved, to protect her identity, and perhaps their own chances of winning a Pulitzer. Since that John Edwards story broke no politician in America is safe from the Enquirer’s prying eyes!
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